S03.E01: Stairway to Heaven

[PrincessPurrsALot]

Quote

John plans a pickup truck wedding; Scott moves 1,200 miles for love; Jessica's family opposes her marriage to a gang member; Shawn risks his 401k for an inmate; Shavel's family thinks Quaylon is guilty until proven innocent.

It's back!  Season 3 will start Friday 2020.07.17.  New felons!  New desperados (that is, people desperate for love who have decided prisoners are their twu wuvs). Will anyone lose teeth when their beloved jumps on them? Will players be played? Will impregnation be shown?  How many terrible tattoos will we see?  Who will have the best tooth to tattoo ratio? 

These questions and more will be answered in season 3 of Love After Lockup.  Join for the fright show, stay for the snark!

[SevenCostanza]

I can't wait! I'm so glad we have a whole new cast this season.

[Guest]

It's already up on Xfinity On Demand and I couldn't help but watch. 

All I will say is:

John doesn't realize that fly strips need to be changed once they reach maximum capacity. 

Also:

Quaylon has "aberrations" for his life.

It's gonna be a great season.

[ethalfrida]

Each season more is revealed about the machinations of sexual configurations that could forever remain a secret to loyal viewers. 

 

[Kangatush]

Don't forget the random forest sex post release, without even showering.

[vintagesac]

Every season, I’m appalled that at least one loser is from Sacramento. This time, one loser with some Rite Aid chompers is at a bail bondsman’s office downtown. I just started yelling, “No, nooooo,” as I quickly Googled that is their only location. My city is full of idiots. 
I watched early, and my fave is the 1/10th Native American dude who had trouble counting his ex wives and kids on allll of his fingers.

[hookedontv]

I. Can't. Wait. 

That is all.

[OoogleEyes]

There's a marathon on today leading up to TONIGHT!  Although, I don't think that I can stomach an entire day of the season two trainwrecks

Alarm has been set!

Edited July 17, 2020 by OoogleEyes

[Squee Bastard]

Yay for trashtastic TV! An LAL marathon, and then a new crop of dumpster fires!! Life is good, LOL! And.I.Am.Here.For.It.ALL

[WaltersHair]

Quote

I watched early, and my fave is the 1/10th Native American dude who had trouble counting his ex wives and kids on allll of his fingers

And yet he has the money to buy a Monster Energy Drink knockoff jacket and put a mattress in the truck bed for some lovin'.

I tried to explain this show to a friend and was just at a loss for words, which is not me at all. The best thing I could come up with was to warn her to never put money on someone's commissary because there are probably 20 others doing the same thing.

[Squee Bastard]

Qualon has aberrations, doncha know..

[For Cereals]

6 kids over 22 years?!

[Empress1]

12 minutes ago, For Cereals said:

6 kids over 22 years?!

And they never married. What?!

Edited July 18, 2020 by Empress1

[Squee Bastard]

Wrap your tool, fool!

[peaceknit]

On 7/14/2020 at 7:59 PM, vintagesac said:

Every season, I’m appalled that at least one loser is from Sacramento. This time, one loser with some Rite Aid chompers is at a bail bondsman’s office downtown. I just started yelling, “No, nooooo,” as I quickly Googled that is their only location. My city is full of idiots. 
I watched early, and my fave is the 1/10th Native American dude who had trouble counting his ex wives and kids on allll of his fingers.

I'm in Sac too and feel your pain!

[Empress1]

John has to think about how many kids he has ... and he has EIGHT FUCKING KIDS.

That ... was a lot.

The 50-year-old is a trick. He takes care of her kid and her mother? Trick. His name is Scott, right? They’re the new Scott & Lizzie. 

John is a fucking disaster. He’s the new Clint. 8 kids, 4 ex-wives, a few ex-fiancés, a stint in prison, and now this? Good grief.

The one who is with Maurice (Jennifer?) doesn’t curl all the way over to me; she seems off. I wondered if her family’s resistance had as much to do with Maurice being Black as it does with him being in prison. The way they were talking gave me that vibe.

Edited July 18, 2020 by Empress1

[Neurochick]

They said John was in prison for 12 years for being a scammer AND he couldn't remember how many children he has.

And there's a Michael and Sarah 2.0 there.  This one has abberations!

And yet another Scott the Sugar Daddy.

Don't these people ever watch "Love after Lockup?"

BTW, I don't know what drugs Jessica is on, but I think that might have been the real reason her sister stopped speaking to her.

Edited July 18, 2020 by Neurochick

[Squee Bastard]

3 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

They said John was in prison for 12 years for being a scammer AND he couldn't remember how many children he has.

And there's a Michael and Sarah 2.0 there.  This one has abberations!

And yet another Scott the Sugar Daddy.

Don't these people ever watch "Love after Lockup?"

Apparently not!

[goofygirl]

With you neurochick!  What the bloody hell....  I keep trying to figure out HOW these MORONS get together on the internet and I've finally come up with a theory.  Which is.... Dumb attracts dumber.

[Irritable]

I am absolutely furious that this show isn’t on 3 days a week.  There is clearly so much to cover with this fresh set of terrible decision makers. I am already morbidly fascinated with them all.

[PrincessPurrsALot]

Shavel loves Quaylon so much she doesn't pronounce his name right.  

We have a guy who cannot remember how many kids he has and has already been married four times and engaged twice, numbers he struggled to remember.  It's going to be a good season.   

[Auntie Anxiety]

Just when I thought I’d reached the nadir of tv watching standards as a 90 Day Fiancé devotee, there’s this. I’m all in. I love train wrecks like nobody’s business.

[Kangatush]

I want to have words with the women who allowed these morons to add 14 more drops in the gene pool.  It's too soon to pick my dumpster fire favorite, but I have high hopes in bail guy.  He's the real new Clint if she takes off, like Tracie and the rental car.

And who decided we needed to see more Brittney and Marceleno?  Oooh, them in quarantine... she'll end up pregnant again, because that's what those two do.

Special shout out to Baby Girl, however many there are, I miss you.  😛

[cooksdelight]

Has anyone said “he/she’s the love of my life” yet?

Please be kind if I’ve lost my marbles, I was awake for an episode (middle of the night rerun) of Dateline and it’s about two sisters who didn’t get along, weird text messages, a photo of the daughter hugging her younger brother who later committed suicide...

We can call the blonde who is already married the guy The Fame Whores Family?

If anyone can think of some good lyrics, do it to The Addams Family theme song.

Every single one of these people waiting outside are dumber than dumb. Notice the producer asking them questions, to prevent an hour of blank stares and open mouth? They need a psychologist for on air counseling. I can only imagine what they’d say if they thought the cameras were off.

The poor guy remodeling his home overnight would be attractive to a lot of women .... he should run off with the home decor lady.

[AZChristian]

5 hours ago, cooksdelight said:

Has anyone said “he/she’s the love of my life” yet?

Pretty sure I heard a "soulmate" reference.

[lamujerdecente]

5 hours ago, cooksdelight said:

Has anyone said “he/she’s the love of my life” yet?

Please be kind if I’ve lost my marbles, I was awake for an episode (middle of the night rerun) of Dateline and it’s about two sisters who didn’t get along, weird text messages, a photo of the daughter hugging her younger brother who later committed suicide...

We can call the blonde who is already married the guy The Fame Whores Family?

If anyone can think of some good lyrics, do it to The Addams Family theme song.

Every single one of these people waiting outside are dumber than dumb. Notice the producer asking them questions, to prevent an hour of blank stares and open mouth? They need a psychologist for on air counseling. I can only imagine what they’d say if they thought the cameras were off.

The poor guy remodeling his home overnight would be attractive to a lot of women .... he should run off with the home decor lady.

I hate him the most. And the realtor lady was too hot for him even tho in his deluded “shallow”  mind, To HIM, she isn’t. I am all for love is love and all, age ain’t nothing but a number, but his searching for “love” in a hot prisoner? He can take several seats with his “ short term” entanglements aka escorts. 

[sempervivum]

9 hours ago, PrincessPurrsALot said:

Shavel loves Quaylon so much she doesn't pronounce his name right. 

And he loves her so much he spelled her name 'Chevelle' (is he old enough to remember that car?). Shavel's momma needs to rethink the 'gold eyeshadow and lipstick' decision.

I'm disturbed by the creepy-eyed 'Native American' serial monogamist being described as a 'child services provider' (or some such title). Although his daughter Sapphire was one of only 2 appealing characters last night (the other one was the bail bond guy).

 

[AZChristian]

10 minutes ago, sempervivum said:

Shavel's momma needs to rethink the 'gold eyeshadow and lipstick' decision.

Exactly the same thing I said to Mr. AZC while we were watching the show.

[Persnickety1]

So they found the dude with a scintilla of Native American blood living in a battered VW van at the beach, right?

Anyone else notice the names of his kids as he rattled them off whilst struggling to keep count?  There were a couple of doozies in that list.  

And that simpleton mechanic might just give Vince a run for his money in the Village Idiot competition.  Time will tell.  

When the lady with the gold makeup all over her face appeared on my screen, I was waiting to hear Shirley Bassey in the background.

This season looks promising.  So glad it's a new crew.  Except for Clint and The Goddess, those Life After Lockup participants are a huge frauding yawn, so I hope we have some new blood for that franchise, too.  

[Kroliosis]

P

13 hours ago, Empress1 said:

The one who is with Maurice (Jennifer?) doesn’t curl all the way over to me; she seems off. I wondered if her family’s resistance had as much to do with Maurice being Black as it does with him being in prison. The way they were talking gave me that vibe.

I really think she’s a meth head and about 3-6 months from prison herself. She looks like a tweeter. And 100% they didn’t like him bc he’s black!  I got that same vibe. 

What is going on with Scotts mouth/upper lip?  It looks like he’s missing all his top teeth too.  If you have $50k to spend on interior design (haha I don’t believe that) you can fix your teeth. 

[Pepper Mostly]

On 7/11/2020 at 8:23 PM, Giant Misfit said:

Quaylon has "aberrations" for his life.

It's gonna be a great season.

I came here just to post that very thing! I yearn to know more about Quaylon's "aberrations". 

On 7/14/2020 at 10:59 PM, vintagesac said:

my fave is the 1/10th Native American dude who had trouble counting his ex wives and kids on allll of his fingers.

Oh, me too. He "follows the spiritual teachings of the Lakota". Far be it from me to slag off on anyone's spiritual traditions but he sounds phony as fuck, picking and choosing from a Native American buffet. His daughter appeared to be mortified. 

14 hours ago, Neurochick said:

BTW, I don't know what drugs Jessica is on, but I think that might have been the real reason her sister stopped speaking to her.

There is definitely something off about her. She makes me actively uncomfortable, with her fidgets and inappropriate giggles and weird affect. That whole scene where she thought she saw her sister was creepy. Hello! Your sister is living her life! She probably could not care less if your car passes by!

7 hours ago, cooksdelight said:

 

The poor guy remodeling his home overnight would be attractive to a lot of women .... he should run off with the home decor lady.

The home decor lady is probably going home to her nice, normal husband, who has never done time.  With a fat check in her hand from redecorating Delusional Douglas' home, and a hilarious story to share forever over the supper table. I loved her. Decorators, like nurses and pizza delivery people, must see everything. 

Sapphire finds the thought of the hasty wedding "nerving". This season is just going to be a festival of crimes against grammar and usage.

Edited July 18, 2020 by Pepper Mostly

[dsteele]

19 minutes ago, Kroliosis said:

What is going on with Scotts mouth/upper lip?  It looks like he’s missing all his top teeth too.

Apparently that's now a show requirement for 50+ y.o. dudes named Scott who are hooking up with decades younger inmates.

[sempervivum]

40 minutes ago, Kroliosis said:

I really think she’s a meth head and about 3-6 months from prison herself. She looks like a tweeter

If you mean 'tweaker', I doubt it. She's too plump.

Scott(?) the remodeler kind of looked like he'd had cleft palate surgery. Either that, or he had some kind of injury that was poorly repaired. I'm dying to find out what his oh-so-lucrative profession is.

[Empress1]

2 hours ago, lamujerdecente said:

He can take several seats with his “ short term” entanglements aka escorts. 

He described his relationships as “on an as-needed basis,” which was so gross to me, And yeah, something is up with his lip - is it a cleft lip that was repaired?

33 minutes ago, Pepper Mostly said:

The home decor lady is probably going home to her nice, normal husband, who has never done time.  With a fat check in her hand from redecorating Delusional Douglas' home, and a hilarious story to share forever over the supper table. I loved her. Decorators, like nurses and pizza delivery people, must see everything. 

And hotel staff. And that decorator was too good for him in every way.

[Auntie Anxiety]

1 hour ago, Pepper Mostly said:

On 7/14/2020 at 10:59 PM, vintagesac said:

 

Oh, me too. He "follows the spiritual teachings of the Lakota".

I haven’t checked the spiritual teachings of the Lakota handbook, but I’d be surprised if it included having marriages/engagements/kids in the double digits. The guy is one step above cosplay. Also, I kept trying to read the white board in the kitchen, something about hanging up wet dish cloths? How Lakotan!

[renatae]

On 7/14/2020 at 9:59 PM, vintagesac said:

I watched early, and my fave is the 1/10th Native American dude who had trouble counting his ex wives and kids on allll of his fingers.

And who now says he can't be divorced if they have a native ceremony.?? Unless, of course, she does something "against the marriage."

We're not tracking too well around here, lol.

The girl who married the guy while he was imprisoned against her family's wishes sure looks a lot like the bee lady from 90 Days.

[AZChristian]

Had the guy who was planning the wedding in the back of the pickup truck bothered with a little thing called a marriage license?

[PrincessPurrsALot]

On 7/18/2020 at 9:38 AM, sempervivum said:

If you mean 'tweaker', I doubt it. She's too plump.

Scott(?) the remodeler kind of looked like he'd had cleft palate surgery. Either that, or he had some kind of injury that was poorly repaired. I'm dying to find out what his oh-so-lucrative profession is.

I believe he said he was an "entrepreneur" which I assume means scam artist of some kind.  He is all kinds of sleazy.  I did enjoy the editors' choices of photos including his ever-so-sexy leaning against the fridge showing his spindly arms and making his gut look saggy.  Meanwhile he is explaining the deep connection he has with the woman 20+ years younger than him, and they show her sex kitten shots.  Yeah dude, it's a deep spiritual connection that somehow is centered in your pants.

On 7/18/2020 at 11:24 AM, AZChristian said:

Had the guy who was planning the wedding in the back of the pickup truck bothered with a little thing called a marriage license?

With his ersatz Native American pick what you like to make yourself look deep spirituality, he probably claims he does not need a license but somehow they will be bound for life.  That is, until he decided that she has done something that voids the marriage.  Chances that he is Lakota = 0%.

[lamujerdecente]

2 hours ago, Empress1 said:

He described his relationships as “on an as-needed basis,” which was so gross to me, And yeah, something is up with his lip - is it a cleft lip that was repaired?

And hotel staff. And that decorator was too good for him in every way.

Yes! This was it! My husband was shaking his head at me for watching this but stopped mid head shake. We both said,” translation hookers.”

[IvySpice]

Oh, TV gods, bless you for bringing this dumpster fire into my life.

As usual, a teenage child (in this case Sapphire) shows better judgment than the parent. Color me shocked that any of John's children were living with him. I could name my second cousins faster than he could name his children. Were there some he only found out about recently? Also, he said he was in prison for 12 years and has been out for ten...so he conceived Sapphire while locked up like Andrea and Lamar?

Quaylon has never had a chance to grow up in a normal environment or have an adult relationship, but he seemed thoughtful and reasonable. He was Shavel's friend of a friend, so nobody was seeking out an inmate to date. Maybe they have a chance?

[Pepper Mostly]

2 hours ago, renatae said:

The girl who married the guy while he was imprisoned against her family's wishes sure looks a lot like the bee lady from 90 Days.

Oh, thank you! I could not put my finger on it!

1 hour ago, PrincessPurrsALot said:

I believe he said he was an "entrepreneur" which I assume means scam artist of some kind.  He is all kinds of sleazy.  I did enjoy the editors choices of photos including his ever-so-sexy leaning against the fridge showing his spindly arms and making his gut look saggy.  Meanwhile he is explaining the deep connection he has with the woman 20+ years younger than him, and they show her sex kitten shots.  Yeah dude, it's a deep spiritual connection that someone is centered in your pants.

I was screaming with laughter at that pic! "Hey baby, want to see my fully stocked fridge?" Those two deserve each other, though. Lindsey will bleed him dry. "Big diamond ring, big house......happy family" as she practically winks at us. 

And Shavel is a "business owner". So, Mary Kay? Herbalife? Amway? 

[Auntie Anxiety]

1 hour ago, Pepper Mostly said:

 

And Shavel is a "business owner". So, Mary Kay? Herbalife? Amway? 

A card table on the corner of 3rd and Main selling knock-off merchandise, including wigs and gold eyeshadow with matching lipstick?

[cooksdelight]

Sounds like they are on the verge of coronavirus starting up.

Well, dammit.... how am I going to tell them apart if I can’t count the teeth???

[1011101010001]

Scott needs to keep his shirt on.

Did they identify the old lady at Shovel’s hovel?

Shovel’s cuz DMark was hella intimidating.  Cuz Walter seemed like an accountant.

I know a woman who won’t eat tomatoes because she doesn’t like the “texture” lol.

So if a Cylon lived at the beach would he be a Quaylon?

Edited July 18, 2020 by MrBuhBye

[OoogleEyes]

Scott "Im not interested in getting involved with a train wreck for the next 25 years.."  yeah, I know! Date a prisoner!

What the heck is a "youth service professional"? A blue eyed Native American.  Huh.

"I beat the Waukon burger challenge" John's brother is awesome. 

Aberrations!

I agree that Jessica is a meth head. I looks like she is missing some teeth in the back of her head. And, I think that her sister is pretty smart. 

"Destinie" of Shawn....honey...

Topo the bail bondsman.  🤣🤣🤣

Phone sex? What is this, the 90's?

Why do all of these prison pictures all have those mountains in the background? Wishful thinking?

How do these idiots have such wonderful friends and families?

Edited July 19, 2020 by OoogleEyes

[OoogleEyes]

On 7/17/2020 at 9:54 PM, Empress1 said:

 

John is a fucking disaster. He’s the new Clint. 8 kids, 4 ex-wives, a few ex-fiancés, a stint in prison, and now this? Good grief.

 He is a fucking stoner. Not that there's anything wrong with that

[Keywestclubkid]

Omg I didn’t think it was possible but they actually found people even more deluded then last season..... that mechanic that’s never even seen the chic he’s bailing out .... child!!! This season is gonna be a train wreck and I’m here for it. 

[dsteele]

44 minutes ago, not you again said:

Does anyone know when it will be?

Not sure about the app, but it's available on the web site now.
https://www.wetv.com/full-episodes

[KateHearts]

7 hours ago, OoogleEyes said:

 

Why do all of these prison pictures all have those mountains in the background? Wishful thinking?

looks like the prisons have those fake backgrounds that you can have a picture taken against, like when you are about to get on your cruise ship. I've seen them in other seasons, too.  Maybe the have the scene posted outside the Conjugal Visit Room.

[Kroliosis]

On 7/18/2020 at 12:38 PM, sempervivum said:

If you mean 'tweaker', I doubt it. She's too plump.

Scott(?) the remodeler kind of looked like he'd had cleft palate surgery. Either that, or he had some kind of injury that was poorly repaired. I'm dying to find out what his oh-so-lucrative profession is.

Yeah tweaker. Damn auto correct. Give her 3-6 months, she won’t be plump anymore. It’s meth or crack.