S05.E05: Drive Me Crazy Like A Roulette Wheel

[1011101010001]

2 minutes ago, John M said:

Asuelo continues to attempt multiple times to eat disgusting green orange while so visibly repulsed by the taste that he spits it out each time.

Imagine his face when he goes down on Kalani.

[Baltimore Betty]

On 7/14/2020 at 8:26 PM, CrazyInAlabama said:

Pole's explanation of women's sanitary products was hysterical too. 

Well, we now know Karine does not like wings on her pads.

[Auntie Anxiety]

On 7/14/2020 at 9:01 AM, poeticlicensed said:

Larissa thinks that being on the show and getting more plastic surgery is going to eventually win her the prize and land her a rich dude who will pay her way. 

Someone needs to sit Larissa down and make her watch Darcey’s episodes. 

[Auntie Anxiety]

On 7/14/2020 at 12:17 PM, ThereButFor said:

Pole and his FAHVE FAHVE FAHVE FAHVE FAHVE was so in character for him

I was waiting for him to break out into Subway’s Five Dollar Foot Long jingle. 

[Mrs. Hanson]

1 hour ago, MrBuhBye said:

Imagine his face when he goes down on Kalani.

Thank you.....I was eating, lol!!!

Per Paul and his insistence on buying her her feminine hygene products, I would have Dog Day Afternoon on him.  When I needed those items, I was SUPER PICKY about what I used.  Trust me, Paul, you would have bought the wrong items.

[Jeanne222]

I’m kind of surprised Larissa hasn’t worked on her face. Her skin is very tough and pitted in the close ups. I think they can do facial peels to correct that.   
That to me is more important then bigger breasts!

[Mrs. Hanson]

17 hours ago, mamadrama said:

Our income is very good now and I shop at both places. I'm neither old nor on a fixed income and I can say the same about most of my friends. I see no reason to pay more for certain things when I can get them for $1 elsewhere. A lot of parents do their back to school shopping at both places. In rural communities, especially, sometimes those are your only choices.

Same here.  For anyone who knows me in real life, I am obsessed with Aldi, to the point of needing professional help, lol.  When I go to Cub or Kowalski's (the latter is $$$) I can NOT justify spending that much more money on an equivalent that is just as tasty from Aldi.  I encourage parents to look to the Dollar Store for back to school items, as you can get a lot of good items there.

And yes, when go out of town I want to stop at an Aldi, ala Debbie and her Wal Mart.  I won't press if it interferes with plans or disrupts someone else's plans. however,

10 hours ago, Persnickety1 said:

My cousin Jackie and I took a weekend trip to Reno several years back.  I was excited about it and looking forward to the buffets, the slot machines, the free drinks, the whole experience.  We got to the hotel room (off the main thoroughfare and dirt cheap) she had booked and she said we needed to get right to bed so we could get an early start.  

I had visions of a huge all-you-can eat breakfast buffet, but it turned out Reno had THREE Walmarts and she wanted to make a day of going to all three of them (even though we had one about 10 miles from where we lived).  Buffets?  Forget about it.  She took us through the McDonald's drive through to get her usual two cheeseburger meal, then it was off to sit in the hotel room with her crocheting with the new yarn she purchased at one of the Walmarts.  Oof.  That was obviously the last trip I took with her (anywhere).  

My older son was treated to a trip to Chicago to see a baseball games a few years back with a friend and his parents.  The dad, who is a nice man but not much a of a go-getter, wanted to stay in and WATCH MOVIES.  Luckily, the mom is a real go getter and was like:  "No!!  We are going out to SEE STUFF!"  My son breathed a sigh of relief.   Why stay in a hotel room and do what you can do at home?

The more I think of that car ride with Kalani and Company:  I am torn.  I know this whole things was probably heavily edited, however, Kalani did fire the first shots and was egging him on.  They are ALL wrong:  Kalani starting it, Asuelo for insulting her, the mom for encouraging it and Father Kalani for being......I dunno.....too involved? (Take a number in this show, I know.)

On 7/14/2020 at 7:11 PM, the-grey-lady said:

On 7/13/2020 at 11:02 PM, mamadrama said:

We don't know what he's been telling her. Maybe he told her that his parents live in a big house and they'd been invited to stay with them. Or that he had a good paying job lined up. I can see Paul saying, "I can't work in Brazil because of the language issue, but I've been offered a great paying job back in Kentucky. We'll just have to stay in a hotel/with my parents a week or so until we can move into our house..."

@mamadrama, I can hear Paul:  "No, my mom will love you and baby Pierre!!  We will all live together, help each other....it will be great."  Nope, she locks him out of the house, he drives a dirty car and took her to a hovel worse than she lived in when in Brazil.

 

On 7/15/2020 at 6:47 PM, nytonc said:

Raise your hand if you think at least one of the coven will do or say something to thoroughly insult them. 

I need more arms because they are ALL going to say foul and offensive things to the whole family about them, their food and Moldova.  I bet Annnnddddrei will nail the translating on those words!

[2dogmom]

dad probably blames himself for taking a family vacation. to samoa

[Mrs. Hanson]

1 minute ago, 2dogmom said:

dad probably blames himself for taking a family vacation. to samoa

And mom blames herself for not teaching Kalani the basics of birth control.  Yes, I know dads can be/should be/are involved, but most girls, I assume, would want to hear this from a mom or aunt.

[Kangatush]

5 hours ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

Per Paul and his insistence on buying her her feminine hygene products, I would have Dog Day Afternoon on him.  When I needed those items, I was SUPER PICKY about what I used.  Trust me, Paul, you would have bought the wrong items.

My favorite part was when he went to ask the pharmacist, despite the person who actually uses the products being right there saying no.

OMG, I'm just now watching Pillow Talk and I forgot that Pol's hygiene product explanation involved the same finger gesture he used when he asked Karine's dad for her hand.  He's just such a catch, like herpes.

Edited July 17, 2020 by Kangatush

[magemaud]

12 hours ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

Someone needs to sit Larissa down and make her watch Darcey’s episodes. 

Oh no, don’t encourage her! Larissa would get the idea that the more work she has done, the more seasons she’ll get and possibly her own spin off! 

[Alonzo Mosely FBI]

On 7/15/2020 at 6:09 PM, seacliffsal said:

Although I don't want to defend anyone in the Kalani/Asuelo mess, she did call him a liar first and then he responded with the "lying bitch" comment.  Of course it was uncalled for, but it seems that Kalani started it.  However, just like with getting pregnant, Kalani's parents will put all the blame on Asuelo for the "lying" argument and not their precious daughter.

I also do not like all of the implications that Lo will beat up Asuelo.  Uncalled for as well as an ongoing threat which I think also is an underlying cause/reason that Asuelo does not want to interact with anyone in that family and why he really was heartbroken not to be able to go to Samoa.

Kalani relies too much on her parents to resolve her decisions and issues.  They need to let her figure it out.

ALL OF THIS! They need to get their own apartment, childcare subsidized go to work 2 jobs and grow their own family.  They can stop this by cutting off from Low and her sister wife mother for a year. They need to adult. Or divorce . Stat. 

On 7/15/2020 at 9:45 PM, Tuneful said:

Aldi's sells real MS for $4 and it won some tasting poll I saw...

 

Whaaaaaaaa? $4 where is it made what is this witchcraft? Need details ! 🥞 

[lilysmom]

14 hours ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

I was waiting for him to break out into Subway’s Five Dollar Foot Long jingle. 

Too funny! I had the exact same thought!

[Kellyee]

Quote

Someone needs to sit Larissa down and make her watch Darcey’s episodes. 

She needs to watch how Darcey at least has a JOB.

 

 

 

[2dogmom]

I'm still amazed that Larissa's father had enough money to send her 5000$ I was under the impression she was impoverished....of course I assumed this because why else would someone latch onto Colte, Debbie and all the cats

[Kellyee]

Quote

I'm still amazed that Larissa's father had enough money to send her 5000$

That is very curious. Most of the international fiances on this show who get to the United States are sending money back home. Not only is Larissa not taking care of her own children, but she's asking her father for more money and then getting plastic surgery and spa treatments. She might be my least favorite person on this show (tied with Andre).

 

 

 

[kirklandia]

RE: Women in relationships with younger Samoans.  Am I the only one thinking about Mary Kay Letourneau and Vili Fualaau?  The story unfolded not far from me, and it was a Big Deal.  He was 12 years old, she was his teacher. She gave birth to their first daughter while awaiting sentencing for child rape, and had their second baby while in prison.  They got married after she was released. 

Comments were made at the time that Samoan boys are mature for their age.  Just sayin'...

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Kay_Letourneau

[Darlabutterfly]

kirklandia

2 HOURS AGO

RE: Women in relationships with younger Samoans.  Am I the only one thinking about Mary Kay Letourneau and Vili Fualaau?  The story unfolded not far from me, and it was a Big Deal.  He was 12 years old, she was his teacher. She gave birth to their first daughter while awaiting sentencing for child rape, and had their second baby while in prison.  They got married after she was released. 

Comments were made at the time that Samoan boys are mature for their age.  Just sayin'...

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Kay_Letourneau

 

She just died from cancer on July 6th.

[1011101010001]

50 minutes ago, Darlabutterfly said:

kirklandia

2 HOURS AGO

RE: Women in relationships with younger Samoans.  Am I the only one thinking about Mary Kay Letourneau and Vili Fualaau?  The story unfolded not far from me, and it was a Big Deal.  He was 12 years old, she was his teacher. She gave birth to their first daughter while awaiting sentencing for child rape, and had their second baby while in prison.  They got married after she was released. 

Comments were made at the time that Samoan boys are mature for their age.  Just sayin'...

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Kay_Letourneau

 

She just died from cancer on July 6th.

And they broke up several years ago.  So much for endless love.

[12momine]

On 7/16/2020 at 8:00 PM, Auntie Anxiety said:

Someone needs to sit Larissa down and make her watch Darcey’s episodes. 

Larissa wants to be Jessica Rabbit but’s she more like Messica Grabbit. 

[StatisticalOutlier]

On 7/15/2020 at 2:25 PM, Dmarie019 said:

Good catch! I found another one (and I'm terrible at spotting these) but when Larissa and her friend were leaving the appointment/hearing(?) their car window views switched from driving down a road and leaving the parking lot.

In Paul's restaurant conversation with his mother, most of it had an empty table in the background, but they spliced in one sentence with a table full of people back there.

 

On 7/14/2020 at 6:18 PM, John M said:

"But you know you don't actually have to buy six right, you can buy 1 at the same price even though it says 6."

"No, actually at 35 this is somehow completely new information to me. Goddamn it."

As others have said, it depends on the store.  At Walgreens and CVS, you have to buy however many it says.  Same at Dollar General.  Most grocery stores use it just as a marketing tool, and you can buy however many you want and get that price.  Like 2-liter soda that costs $2.19 will be on sale for 3 for $3.  At Walgreens, CVS, and Dollar General,  you have to buy three, or you'll pay $2.19 for each one.  At grocery stores like Kroger or Safeway or H-E-B (haven't been to other chains recently enough to remember), you'll pay $1, although the tag will say "Save 3.57 on 3."  As for buy one get one, I once bought just one because that's all I had room for, and ended up getting charged half price.  But I don't think that's how that generally works, and I would never rely on it.

The thing about Dollar General is that their grocery prices aren't particularly cheap, and are often more than Kroger, even when they're in a city with competition all around.  It kind of irks me because I just know people assume it's cheaper.  Buyer beware.

 

On 7/16/2020 at 12:30 AM, mamadrama said:

I know that Kroger. Buy 5 Save 5 is also a Kroger deal.

The thing is, the Kroger Buy 5 Save 5 is a mix and match.  So you don't have to buy five of THAT item.  Specified items all over the store are $1 less if you buy at least five of the eligible items.  (Although it used to be that you had to buy in multiples of five;  not sure if that's just how it used to be, or maybe it was regional.)  So he could have bought however many baby wipes he needs and still made it to five by buying other things AND gotten a lower price on those.  Something else to know if that not all of the eligible items are listed in the ad.

That said, the tag on the wipes was a little different from the usual ones for the Buy 5 Save 5, which have the "if 5" price in white on a blue background (you could see it on other products).  I couldn't read the sign on the baby wipes carefully enough to tell if it was a different offer, but if you have to buy five of a given item to get a sale price, Kroger signage will tell you that. 

I hate that this show has me watching it like the fucking Zapruder film. 

 

On 7/16/2020 at 8:33 AM, Neurochick said:

He's a racist, fuck him.  This is what he gets for wanting his daughters "to marry white men." 

I wonder if he's using "white men" to mean men not like him.  He said, "Normally in Samoa way it'd be my hands speaking my words.  But, you know, I mean, I promised my daughter and my wife that I wasn't going to make a scene.  But next time there won't be no more talking.  It'll be just straight ass whooping."

If by "white men" he means men who aren't like that (and like him), then I'm fine with it, and actually pleased that he acknowledges that it's not a good way to be. 

[suzywallis]

On 7/13/2020 at 3:11 PM, magemaud said:

Let me get the timeline straight. First Paul goes to Brazil to meet Karine whom he met online. He wants to bring her to the US, but doesn't make enough money to bring her here on a K1 Visa, so he goes back to KY alone, lives with his parents and gets fired from a job shoveling horse shit. Next time we see him is on The Other Way, and now he's moving to Brazil to work there. At some point they get married, Karine miscarries a first baby (which Paul suspects isn't his child) and she gets pregnant again with Pierre-ee and gives birth in Brazil. Meanwhile, Paul has been in Brazil for A YEAR AND A HALF and hasn't managed to find any kind of work, so now he decides to pack up his little family and move everyone to the US because Karine and Pierre must have "the best life possible." His mother repeatedly warns him she isn't going to help him out financially anymore and that they can't live with her, (and goes as far as taking away his house key) but he plows on with his plan. Karine never wanted to move here in the first place but Paul is relentlessly trying to get her to be excited about life in America. Look at all the different kinds of produce! An overwhelming array of feminine hygiene products! Look, they have their own car, he just needs to clean it up a bit, but it runs! Paul figures Mother will change her mind when they get here and uses Pierre as a pawn, but Mary sticks to her guns. 

Have I got that right? 

Girl, that's good.  Also, thanks for the great summary of back episodes because I just got into this whole show series and had no idea what had happened before! 

[1011101010001]

1 hour ago, suzywallis said:

Girl, that's good.  Also, thanks for the great summary of back episodes because I just got into this whole show series and had no idea what had happened before! 

You need to go back and enjoy every minute lol.

[Scarlett45]

19 hours ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

I wonder if he's using "white men" to mean men not like him.  He said, "Normally in Samoa way it'd be my hands speaking my words.  But, you know, I mean, I promised my daughter and my wife that I wasn't going to make a scene.  But next time there won't be no more talking.  It'll be just straight ass whooping."

If by "white men" he means men who aren't like that (and like him), then I'm fine with it, and actually pleased that he acknowledges that it's not a good way to be. 

Personally I think Low said that he wanted his daughters to marry white men because white men are the most likely to be Mormon (his religion and the religion he raised his children in) and we live under white patriarchy, white men are the most likely to have the power, wealth etc in our society. 
 

And yes @StatisticalOutlier there’s a huge problem with using “white men” to mean “western men” or “American men”. We live in a country where whiteness is assumed to be the default but plenty of Western or United States American people are NOT white (I can see him using “white” in that way). Which in and if itself is annoying.

 

But I also understand where @Neurochick is coming from. 
Saying “I have seen problems in the Samoan culture* and I would prefer my daughter to marry someone who’s more egalitarian and/or Mormon (because that’s our faith)” is very different than saying “I want my daughter to marry a white man.”

 

For the record I don’t mind Low- I get why hes annoyed with Asuelu and I don’t actually think he is going to harm him in anyway. My Mom calls Low “old school” and finds him hilarious (but she’s 72 so different expectations). 

*i am not insinuating that the US culture is superior to Samoa- every culture has problems and places they can improve (and beauty as well). But being someone who grew up in Samoa and has lived in the USA a long time I can find value in his perspective of how marriage/romantic partnerships are viewed in Samoa and how that matches what he would like for his daughter. 

[Tuneful]

On 7/17/2020 at 8:59 AM, Alonzo Mosely FBI said:

ALL OF THIS! They need to get their own apartment, childcare subsidized go to work 2 jobs and grow their own family.  They can stop this by cutting off from Low and her sister wife mother for a year. They need to adult. Or divorce . Stat. 

Whaaaaaaaa? $4 where is it made what is this witchcraft? Need details ! 🥞 

Alfonso Moseley, as the FBI, why do you need deets from moi? Anyway: a bottle is in my frig now, 12.5 oz., labeled as being from Canada and the U.S., probably 18 months old. I went to the Aldirama yesterday and it looks like the price has gone up, $5.99, which you still can't beat...with that place, they carry some core items consistently, while the other ones come and go, talking of Michelangelo.

It's Saturday night on a brutally hot weekend, and I have run out of all the past and preview iterations of this franchise, which cruelly toys with us so. 

Edited July 18, 2020 by Tuneful

[Alonzo Mosely FBI]

6 minutes ago, Tuneful said:

Alfonso Moseley, as the FBI, why do you need deets from moi? Anyway: a bottle is in my frig now, 12.5 oz., labeled as being from Canada and the U.S., probably 18 months old. I went to the Aldirama yesterday and it looks like the price has gone up, $5.99, which you still can't beat...with that place, they carry some core items consistently, while the other ones come and go, talking of Michelangelo.

It's Saturday night on a brutally hot weekend, and I have run out of all the past and preview iterations of this franchise, which cruelly toys with us so. 

Alonzo! I'M MOSELY! ( this is actually funny if you know the movie Alonzo wasn't much of an FBI agent). 

Fake maple syrup is Sacre bleu! I can't believe you can find it at that price (no Aldirama here) I pay 12-15 a qt. I've never heard of such a price in all my forensics . 

[magemaud]

2 hours ago, MrBuhBye said:

3 hours ago, suzywallis said:

Girl, that's good.  Also, thanks for the great summary of back episodes because I just got into this whole show series and had no idea what had happened before! 

You need to go back and enjoy every minute lol.

and look up Paul's eye-opening "crin-nul" record. He's a real prize

Edited July 18, 2020 by magemaud

[1011101010001]

2 hours ago, Tuneful said:

Alfonso Moseley, as the FBI, why do you need deets from moi? Anyway: a bottle is in my frig now, 12.5 oz., labeled as being from Canada and the U.S., probably 18 months old. I went to the Aldirama yesterday and it looks like the price has gone up, $5.99, which you still can't beat...with that place, they carry some core items consistently, while the other ones come and go, talking of Michelangelo.

It's Saturday night on a brutally hot weekend, and I have run out of all the past and preview iterations of this franchise, which cruelly toys with us so. 

Try Love After Lockup, same sleazy producers and a new season just started yesterday.

[Auntie Anxiety]

5 hours ago, MrBuhBye said:

You need to go back and enjoy every minute lol.

For no other reason than to see Pole running. Another highlight is his penis protector and bulletproof baby carrier. Good times!

[AZChristian]

18 hours ago, suzywallis said:

Girl, that's good.  Also, thanks for the great summary of back episodes because I just got into this whole show series and had no idea what had happened before! 

Nothing tops Paul (who speaks NONE of Karine's native language) asking for her hand in marriage.

Ironically, it's the same gesture he uses for tampon.

[Kangatush]

On 7/18/2020 at 10:41 PM, Auntie Anxiety said:

For no other reason than to see Pole running. Another highlight is his penis protector and bulletproof baby carrier. Good times!

Ah, the running...  I'd put up with so much for the running.  And the hiding in the literal dog house.

 

[Pepper Mostly]

On 7/16/2020 at 2:45 PM, ethalfrida said:

Asuelo is stuck for the time being. Too bad he wasn't mature enough to ward off Kalani. I feel bad for him, though. First of all, bullying and threatening someone is not the way to get them to comply. Wanting her father to beat him up is so immature and unnecessary. It grates my nerve to the point I fast forward through her parts. To think, she is more annoying than Tania to me. Asuelo should move to L.A. There is a huge community to support him, that is, if he is bound on staying (he can invite Syngyn).

I defy anyone except the meekest among us to live happily with a person like her. Right or wrong, no one wants to live under the siege like the one she is constantly mounting against him. And for those who think Asuelo seems somewhat slow remember his English is not the best... 

Asuelu and Kalani are the new Pedro and Chantel. Same storyline, pretty much, though Chantel and Pedro have the good sense not to bring kids into the mix. Met on vacation, brought foreign flame to the US, family doesn't "trust him", think he's "shady". Talk smack about him behind his back and to his face. Creepy, over involved sibling. One parent frequently threatens physical harm. (Shocky, anyone?) Karen's tiny, stupid looking hats/Lo's scruffy, stupid looking beard braid. American wife appears barely able to abide her husband. American wife pushes spouse to "get along" with her horrible family. American wife constantly runs to her family to whinge about her husband. Meh. I don't believe any of it. I think its all made up out of whole cloth. I repeat, Sharp needs some new writers. This dreck is so far past getting old. It needs to be buried.

[Dmarie019]

On 7/17/2020 at 9:35 PM, StatisticalOutlier said:

 

 

I wonder if he's using "white men" to mean men not like him.  He said, "Normally in Samoa way it'd be my hands speaking my words.  But, you know, I mean, I promised my daughter and my wife that I wasn't going to make a scene.  But next time there won't be no more talking.  It'll be just straight ass whooping."

If by "white men" he means men who aren't like that (and like him), then I'm fine with it, and actually pleased that he acknowledges that it's not a good way to be. 

Yes - during their original season he was very specific in saying that he did not want his daughter marrying a samoan man because of how they tend to treat women. 

[Pepper Mostly]

1 hour ago, Dmarie019 said:

Yes - during their original season he was very specific in saying that he did not want his daughter marrying a samoan man because of how they tend to treat women. 

And he should know. He treats his whole family like a combination of handmaids and hostages.

[StatisticalOutlier]

On 7/18/2020 at 5:06 PM, Alonzo Mosely FBI said:

On 7/18/2020 at 4:57 PM, Tuneful said:

Anyway: a bottle is in my frig now, 12.5 oz., labeled as being from Canada and the U.S., probably 18 months old. I went to the Aldirama yesterday and it looks like the price has gone up, $5.99,

I can't believe you can find it at that price (no Aldirama here) I pay 12-15 a qt. I've never heard of such a price in all my forensics . 

Um, $5.99 for 12.5 ounces is 48¢/ounce.  Even at $15, your syrup costs 47¢/ounce.

[Alonzo Mosely FBI]

1 hour ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

Um, $5.99 for 12.5 ounces is 48¢/ounce.  Even at $15, your syrup costs 47¢/ounce.

Yesss!!! Good call I hadn't thought of what 12.5oz looks like! It is difficult for me to imagine such a small container lol