S05.E05: Drive Me Crazy Like A Roulette Wheel

[OnceSane]

Quote

Larissa has a date with a mystery man. In Nigeria, Angela receives a horrific first-day surprise. Colt's mother meets his girlfriend. Kalani's father finds out about Asuelu's misdeeds. Elizabeth and Andrei have a rocky first morning in Moldova.

Airs July 12, 2020.

[charmed1]

Coltee and Colte Gal are gross. Who talks about having sex with their boyfriend while said boyfriend’s mother is standing right there? Of all the things Brazil has to offer, Debbie is most looking forward to seeing their Walmart. I do like Debbie’s t-shirt though.

[Tuneful]

This epi preview made me sad. Every couple was a train heading for or going over the cliff, if any of these stories are real. I’m not saying anything in this post that hasn’t been shown in earlier epis, but it's gotten pretty excruciating. Angela has a very sick Mom, and it reminded me all too much of when my mother was in her last illness. Pole and his Mom remind me of a guy I used to date who had many of the same problems. Andrei is a sadist who plays hate games on Americans, because he thinks he’s so macho and gets humiliated here by Libby, the family, and the “system.” He is more macho compared with many American men we’ve seen on this show, and I can believe he might initially sweep women off their feet. Colt and Debbie, well, no surprise here except how crude Colt and his GF act, and Debbie is an old lady with health problems taking a strenuous trip. Angela is so happy to be marrying Michael that it’s nice, but we know the baby problem is a BIG one.  I feel sad for the innocent children involved for two couples. For Syngin and the Shrew, I don’t have time--they both seem very immature. No Larissa in the preview.

[RealReality]

Sorry @Tuneful sounds like this episode was kinda painful for you.  It's hard to watch Angela's mom. 

[magemaud]

This episode’s breastfeeding scenes brought to you by Karine.  

[charmed1]

Pole’s Mother is a hoot. I like how she makes it clear that she loves her grandchild, but her son can kick rocks. She was highly disappointed to see Pole walk in that restaurant alone and when the waiter came, she dryly gestured to Pole, “There’s your food.” Ha!  And I’m glad she told Pole that she was hip to his game of trying to use his son as a pawn. I kind of wish that she hadn’t said she’d always be available to babysit, because I think Pole will use that to find a way to weasel his way back in.

[FurBabyMama]

Doesn’t Paul get money from tlc? Or do we just pretend he doesn’t? I’m sort of glad that his mom has said enough is enough. And I sort of get the impression that if karine left him, she would help out her and pierre, but she is done enabling Paul. 
 

coltee and Jess?? Who starts talking about sex and making out with their mother?? And who are all these women lining up to be with him? He’s not physically attractive, he doesn’t have some glowing personality. I don’t see the appeal. 

[Gobi]

2 minutes ago, FurBabyMama said:

And who are all these women lining up to be with him? He’s not physically attractive, he doesn’t have some glowing personality. I don’t see the appeal. 

Hint: It's green and shaped like a card.

[KateHearts]

1 hour ago, charmed1 said:

Pole’s Mother is a hoot. I like how she makes it clear that she loves her grandchild, but her son can kick rocks. She was highly disappointed to see Pole walk in that restaurant alone and when the waiter came, she dryly gestured to Pole, “There’s your food.” Ha!  And I’m glad she told Pole that she was hip to his game of trying to use his son as a pawn. I kind of wish that she hadn’t said she’d always be available to babysit, because I think Pole will use that to find a way to weasel his way back in.

Hopefully it's not too late for Mother Paul to cut the apron strings; one can clearly see that he has used this tactic for a long time. His anger combined with his shameless pleas for sympathy (and money) are leaving her cold, but I'm sure that's only because she's been down this road many, many times. Dad might be off camera because he refuses to play the game of Bailing Out My Floundering Son one more time.

His next move will be to threaten suicide or to refuse to let her see Pierre.

Edited July 7, 2020 by KateHearts

[politichick]

11 hours ago, magemaud said:

This episode’s breastfeeding scenes brought to you by Karine.  

Lol. Nice of Paul to put the towel or whatever that was to minimize exposure.

I hope Elizabeth bitch-slaps Andreii with words and the brother translates them for the rest of the family. I would never allow a man to speak to me like that but a motherfucker who does not work? No, ma'am.

[mamadrama]

I hope Kalani changes the locks when she gets home. And you know she'll have plenty of time. Asuelu's gonna be on that bus for days before he realizes he's still in CA and just going around in circles.

[AZChristian]

Just now, mamadrama said:

I hope Kalani changes the locks when she gets home. And you know she'll have plenty of time. Asuelu's gonna be on that bus for days before he realizes he's still in CA and just going around in circles.

So he's learning faster now, right?  I would have thought weeks.  Or never.

[Mrs. Hanson]

13 hours ago, magemaud said:

This episode’s breastfeeding scenes brought to you by Karine.  

Better her than Angela if she ever totes that damn egg.

Paul, please pull up a chair and listen to me:  You, my friend, are a loser.  You had to dig deep into a remote jungle in BRAZIL to find a girl and let me tell you, she is straight up a sad sack.  Threatening to return to Brazil is her full time job.  Speaking of which:  GET A DAMN JOB.  A temp job, a day labor job.....SOMETHING.  Your mom is totally on to your games and is not giving/loaning you a cent.  Enjoy that dinner out on her cause that will be the last thing she does for you.  Ever.  Stop using your baby as blackmail.

Colt and Jess:  Stop making out in front of your mom and talking about having sex.  NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT IT.

[magemaud]

3 hours ago, Gobi said:

3 hours ago, FurBabyMama said:

And who are all these women lining up to be with him? He’s not physically attractive, he doesn’t have some glowing personality. I don’t see the appeal. 

Hint: It's green and shaped like a card.

and 15 minutes of fame. "Jess Caroline"" has quite the following on Soshul Meedya. I was reading an article about them that described her as a "Brazilian Bombshell." I don't see it, myself. But nothing like telling your boyfriend's mother that you can't wait to have sex with him, that should endear her to Debbie. 

[CrazyInAlabama]

It should be interesting to see what happened between filming this last year, and what's going on with the couple now.    Karine is a fool for leaving Brazil with Paul.     

[mamadrama]

1 hour ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

Better her than Angela if she ever totes that damn egg.

Paul, please pull up a chair and listen to me:  You, my friend, are a loser.  You had to dig deep into a remote jungle in BRAZIL to find a girl and let me tell you, she is straight up a sad sack.  Threatening to return to Brazil is her full time job.  Speaking of which:  GET A DAMN JOB.  A temp job, a day labor job.....SOMETHING.  Your mom is totally on to your games and is not giving/loaning you a cent.  Enjoy that dinner out on her cause that will be the last thing she does for you.  Ever.  Stop using your baby as blackmail.

Colt and Jess:  Stop making out in front of your mom and talking about having sex.  NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT IT.

This made me ragey. He's trying hard to guilt trip his mom but she has his number. He wants a better life for Pierre. It was his MOM who wanted him to move back to the US. He just wants a loan. Jesus, Paul, have some pride...

With or without post partum psychosis, one look at Karine shows that she's stressed and probably depressed. I wish Mother Paul had seen her because I think she would've noticed. My first thought was that Karine shouldn't have been left alone with Pierre at the hotel. NOT insinuating that she would cause him harm, but it's obvious to me that something isn't right. I've been there, and I desperately needed someone to step forward and say, "We need to take care of YOU." A day of rest, a grownup trip out, a doctor's appointment..

I feel sorry for her. 

[Coltee Gal]

@mamadrama yep. Karine looks worn out, stressed and depressed. I’m worried about her. She needs to go back to her family and give Paul a timeline to get his shit together - a safe car, a permanent job and housing. 

[mamadrama]

16 minutes ago, Colte Gal said:

@mamadrama yep. Karine looks worn out, stressed and depressed. I’m worried about her. She needs to go back to her family and give Paul a timeline to get his shit together - a safe car, a permanent job and housing. 

I got nervous when I saw your name. I thought the new arrival from Colt's Brazilian of the Month Club had found us...

To be fair, if my livelihood and happiness depended upon Paul then I'd be ducking miserable. Probably even an alcoholic, if I could afford the alcohol. He shouldn't have brought her before having a place to live.

[Coltee Gal]

22 minutes ago, mamadrama said:

I got nervous when I saw your name. I thought the new arrival from Colt's Brazilian of the Month Club had found us...

😂😂😂

nope I’m just a long time lurker who took @Pepper Mostly suggestion during the live feed that someone should use the name. I’m the lurker and infrequent poster formerly known as jayfay.

[Kiss my mutt]

Poor Karine thought her in laws were going to set her up nicely. 
I hope his mom doesn’t give in though. 

[Mrs. Hanson]

18 hours ago, mamadrama said:

be fair, if my livelihood and happiness depended upon Paul then I'd be ducking miserable. Probably even an alcoholic, if I could afford the alcohol. He shouldn't have brought her before having a place to live.

Oh my gosh I would be day drunk all the damn time!!  (Not really, as there IS a baby to be cared for.) 

I don't think mother Paul is giving in.  She seems....spent.  If my son played the "This is your grandson" routine I would say, "Yes.....and that is YOUR son!  Take care if him, like your dad and I took care of you!"

Edited July 8, 2020 by Mrs. Hanson

[Kayz Opinion]

3 hours ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

I don't think mother Paul is giving in.  She seems....spent.  If my son played the "This is your grandson" routine I would say, "Yes.....and that is YOUR son!  Take care if him, like I and your dad took care of you!"

Karine should decide to (and have Production help her) return to her hovel in Brazil.  Anything is better than living with an ignorant, undisciplined, man-boy with mental issues.  Paul's mother should reconsider and allow Karine and the baby (NOT *PAUL!) to stay and help her complete forms for government assistance.

*If Paul gets belligerent and tries to get in the house, call the cops and then get a Restraining Order or two.

[Kid]

19 hours ago, FurBabyMama said:

 

coltee and Jess?? Who starts talking about sex and making out with their mother?? And who are all these women lining up to be with him? He’s not physically attractive, he doesn’t have some glowing personality. I don’t see the appeal. 

Being on TV is the appeal.  That and a green card.

[Mrs. Hanson]

13 hours ago, Kayz Opinion said:

Karine should decide to (and have Production help her) return to her hovel in Brazil.  Anything is better than living with an ignorant, undisciplined, man-boy with mental issues.  Paul's mother should reconsider and allow Karine and the baby (NOT *PAUL!) to stay and help her complete forms for government assistance.

*If Paul gets belligerent and tries to get in the house, call the cops and then get a Restraining Order or two.

I agree.  Karine's culture has a different take of "helping" which seems, to me, to be many generations living together and chipping in, and that is fine but not how Paul's parents want to live.  It is not the gov't job to take care of them, nor is it the job of the grandparents  It is PAUL'S job and he just does not get that.  But until Paul figures something out, they need some gov't help with housing and food.  Paul just seems so unbalanced and clueless.  

[magemaud]

16 hours ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

Take care if him, like your dad Father and I took care of you!

FTFY. I wonder how much his parents' child-raising philosophy contributed to Paul's, to put it kindly, "issues." 

 

[Kayz Opinion]

3 hours ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

But until Paul figures something out, they need some gov't help with housing and food.  Paul just seems so unbalanced and clueless.  

Those two sentences say it all.  Please release Karine and let her decide if she wants to try live in the U.S.  NORMAL life.

I think Paul's mother would help Karine if Paul will stay away...but he just can't.  There's not enough mental health assistance that will make him okay.

[Mrs. Hanson]

3 hours ago, magemaud said:

FTFY. I wonder how much his parents' child-raising philosophy contributed to Paul's, to put it kindly, "issues." 

 

Love the correction on "your dad and I' to Father, but when I wrote that I was thinking about the father of my kids, not Father Paul.  Yes we are divorced, but he was a good dad (and faithful husband) who may have been a bit....odd, but was ALWAYS employed full time and I NEVER questioned the safety of the kids.  Ever.  Paul, can't give him an affirmative on either of those points.

[Auntie Anxiety]

On 7/8/2020 at 1:31 AM, Kayz Opinion said:

*If Paul gets belligerent and tries to get in the house burn down the house, call the cops and then get a Restraining Order or two.

 FTFY

[magemaud]

On 7/6/2020 at 8:19 PM, charmed1 said:

Of all the things Brazil has to offer, Debbie is most looking forward to seeing their Walmart. 

And she was so impressed with the exotic food offerings at the airport Panda Express. 

[Mothra]

On 7/7/2020 at 2:03 PM, FurBabyMama said:

 And who are all these women lining up to be with him? He’s not physically attractive, he doesn’t have some glowing personality. I don’t see the appeal. 

If he could bottle it, he'd be a zillionaire.  Ash, by comparison, has to try really hard to keep himself attractive to women, with his grooming and working out and all, not to mention his jeggings, cool car and love language.  Ash must look at Coltee's success with the ladies and want to kill himself.

[Baltimore Betty]

3 minutes ago, Mothra said:

Ash must look at Coltee's success with the ladies and want to kill himself.

Take the green card out of the equation and Coltee would not have any success with the ladies, his gal pal Vanessa was a one time thing, what does that tell you about the quality, hmmm?

Ash has to keep himself looking good to stay in the game, it has been rumored that he is an "escort."

[Baltimore Betty]

On 7/7/2020 at 9:57 PM, Kiss my mutt said:

Poor Karine thought her in laws were going to set her up nicely. 
I hope his mom doesn’t give in though. 

Pole and Karine will somehow manage to have a home with no visible means of support, just look at Syringe and that herbal witch doctor, no jobs yet can pass a finance check and get a rental home!

[Baltimore Betty]

Maybe Mother Pole can have Karine and PeeAiree live with her and keep Pole on the back porch.

[Auntie Anxiety]

3 hours ago, Baltimore Betty said:

Maybe Mother Pole can have Karine and PeeAiree live with her and keep Pole on the back porch.

They can build him a shed out of wooden pallets like Rose’s father and he can live out there with the pigs.

[Gobi]

36 minutes ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

They can build him a shed out of wooden pallets like Rose’s father and he can live out there with the pigs.

What did the pigs do to deserve that?

[AZChristian]

14 minutes ago, Gobi said:

What did the pigs do to deserve that?

Yeah . . . pigs have tidier sties than Paul's car.  Although if he showed up with two-year-old fries, they might let him in.

[magemaud]

When Paul was describing the contents of his "hoarder car," he said something about keeping "work stuff" in it. Does that mean he had the shovel, boots, etc. for his Horse Shit Shoveling career? 

[mamadrama]

On 7/6/2020 at 8:19 PM, charmed1 said:

Coltee and Colte Gal are gross. Who talks about having sex with their boyfriend while said boyfriend’s mother is standing right there? Of all the things Brazil has to offer, Debbie is most looking forward to seeing their Walmart. I do like Debbie’s t-shirt though.

That was funny, but I kinda get it. Mom and I love going to Goodwill in different cities, as well as charity shops (secondhand places) in different countries. Foreign grocery stores? Awesome. But Walmart? Oh Deb...At least she's easy to entertain-drop her off at a Walmart with a Panda Express inside and Coltee/notLarissa can have all the secksy time they want.

[winsomeone]

TLCs newest sextuplets just turned two. Look at them, and then look at Oliver...there is no comparison whatsoever. That woman needs to stop breast feeding and lap holding that poor child and set him free to do normal things.

[Mrs. Hanson]

2 hours ago, mamadrama said:

That was funny, but I kinda get it. Mom and I love going to Goodwill in different cities, as well as charity shops (secondhand places) in different countries. Foreign grocery stores? Awesome. But Walmart? Oh Deb...At least she's easy to entertain-drop her off at a Walmart with a Panda Express inside and Coltee/notLarissa can have all the secksy time they want.

I am the same way with Goodwill and Aldi.  Love to see different ones!

[mamadrama]

2 hours ago, winsomeone said:

TLCs newest sextuplets just turned two. Look at them, and then look at Oliver...there is no comparison whatsoever. That woman needs to stop breast feeding and lap holding that poor child and set him free to do normal things.

She could start feeding him baby food while continuing to supplement with breast milk without stopping altogether.

[Mrs. Hanson]

7 minutes ago, mamadrama said:

She could start feeding him baby food while continuing to supplement with breast milk without stopping altogether.

I agree.  Maybe that is why Oliver is crying all the time!! Poor kid is hungry!!

[mamadrama]

8 minutes ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

I am the same way with Goodwill and Aldi.  Love to see different ones!

Yes! Cause they carry shit we don't have at home. When I go to foreign countries I souvenir shop at places like Aldis (country's equivalent) or secondhand stores. A lot of the tourist souvenir shops just sell generic "made in China" stuff while the "regular" stores sell items that tend to be used regularly in that country. And it's fun to bring back snack food and stuff! Local wine at souvenir store in tourist district=pricey. Local wine at Aldis=cheap. I hit up a flea market in Bosnia where a local guy had collected a bunch of shell casings on the ground after the war and had turned them into keychains and ink pens. I love stuff like that. Foreign Dollar Tree stores are fun, too!

I kinda feel bad for Debbie. She was probably terrified since it was her first trip out. Wal-Mart was something familiar to her. I'm still here for the lulz, though!

[lilysmom]

23 hours ago, magemaud said:

And she was so impressed with the exotic food offerings at the airport Panda Express. 

Years ago, a student of mine was taken to spend the summer in Paris with her grandmother (who lived there.) When asked by anyone what she most remembered/loved about Paris, her answer was always, "The McDonalds!" I should add though, she was 8 years old!

[Kayz Opinion]

18 hours ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

22 hours ago, Baltimore Betty said:

Maybe Mother Pole can have Karine and PeeAiree live with her and keep Pole on the back porch.

They can build him a shed out of wooden pallets like Rose’s father and he can live out there with the pigs.

Okay, but make sure his chain isn't long enough for him to get inside the house.

Edited July 10, 2020 by Kayz Opinion
A "merge" that made no sense.

[Kayz Opinion]

 

On 7/6/2020 at 5:53 PM, Tuneful said:

Angela has a very sick Mom, and it reminded me all too much of when my mother was in her last illness.

I was SHOCKED at Angela's mother poor condition--surprised at how clean her bed was kept. Was that for the cameras?  She appears to have untreated skin cancer (major!) on her chin ... and I worry that she's near death.  Does she have hospice? Is Angela's "professional" care enough?  Should she be in a hospital?  Inquiring minds want to know.

On 7/7/2020 at 11:03 AM, FurBabyMama said:

Doesn’t Paul get money from tlc? Or do we just pretend he doesn’t?

Love this!

[magemaud]

5 hours ago, winsomeone said:

TLCs newest sextuplets just turned two. Look at them, and then look at Oliver...there is no comparison whatsoever. That woman needs to stop breast feeding and lap holding that poor child and set him free to do normal things.

Oliver doesn't even appear to get the minimal stimulation Nicole's Mae did from sitting in front of a device screen all day (nor experience the joy of eating French Fries.)

Edited July 10, 2020 by magemaud

[magemaud]

51 minutes ago, Kayz Opinion said:

I was SHOCKED at Angela's mother poor condition--surprised at how clean her bed was kept. Was that for the cameras?  She appears to have untreated skin cancer (major!) on her chin ... and I worry that she's near death.  Does she have hospice? Is Angela's "professional" care enough?  Should she be in a hospital?  Inquiring minds want to know.

answers to this and more are on the Angela and Michael's couple's page

[FurBabyMama]

5 hours ago, lilysmom said:

Years ago, a student of mine was taken to spend the summer in Paris with her grandmother (who lived there.) When asked by anyone what she most remembered/loved about Paris, her answer was always, "The McDonalds!" I should add though, she was 8 years old!

When i was in college, I spent a couple months backpacking in Europe. I actually loved going into local McDonald’s to see what they had that the us mcdonald didn’t have. Like gazpacho in Spain, crouque mcdonald in France. 

[Baltimore Betty]

1 minute ago, FurBabyMama said:

When i was in college, I spent a couple months backpacking in Europe. I actually loved going into local McDonald’s to see what they had that the us mcdonald didn’t have. Like gazpacho in Spain, crouque mcdonald in France. 

When my friend and I wound up in Rome (unplanned, we were supposed to be in Paris and Bruge), we used McDonald's for the bathrooms when we were out and about tourning, the coke was different than the usual.  For a city with amazing food at every turn there were a lot of McDonald's!