S04.E10: Cuts Both Ways

[Kangatush]

6 minutes ago, Sir RaiderDuck OMS said:

People already in a relationship are unlikely to go to a "relationship coach." It does seem a bit odd that there were no men there, though.

Why?  I'm only going to a marriage counselor if I'm married, or soon will be. 

[Sir RaiderDuck OMS]

1 minute ago, Kangatush said:

Why?  I'm only going to a marriage counselor if I'm married, or soon will be. 

I get the impression that "relationship coaches" are more for single people wondering why they can't stay in one.

[Spike]

I think by relationship coach he means that he coaches women on how to be perceived as more attractive by men and how to find one.  He helps them get a relationship not improve one.  I bet he says look for men in the produce section and ask them what kumquats look ripe.

[Kangatush]

I just did a 30 scroll through his insta.  It's all bullshit quotes.  So the seminar is basically him reading you inspirational memes. 

[Colfrmb]

1 hour ago, RealReality said:

Are women paying him money for this half hour presentation?

I am scouring the Internet for Ash’s web site for his business and so I can read a bio stating his qualifications.  The closest I could come was buried in a website for South Side Fitness where it says he is a nutritionist and a personal trainer but I feel like the rest of the links to things about him have been deleted or edited out.  Maybe this presentation was part of a program offered at the gym - before he was terminated?  If he has a private practice, you would think that he would have a website. I am disappointed that he decided to take a break from social media. If your business is about helping people mentally and physically, you should be tougher.  And now all those women who thought you could help them, or maybe that he might fall in love with them (!), can see first hand that he will sleep with you, call you “babe” and “soulmate” and still say he’s single, straight to your face.  That’s an ego booster -not.

[greekmom]

Things Ed said
Ed to Prince: "I know you'll miss your mommy."

What I heard: "I know you'll miss your mommy but I want to schtup her."

Ed to camera: "I need some alone time with Rose."

What I heard: " I need to get the fuck out of this shit hole."

Ed is turning out to be worse than Lisa, if that is even possible.  

Why the hell did Mommy Usman give her blessing???  Why Mommy, why!?!?!??!

 

[Kid]

Ed and Rose - it is obvious what both of them want. So I don’t understand why that is such a mystery to him. He wants a free piece of ass on demand and she wants to come to America.

The scene in the hotel room, I have only one thing to say.  OMG, Ed, OMG!!!

[Sir RaiderDuck OMS]

19 minutes ago, greekmom said:

Why the hell did Mommy Usman give her blessing???  Why Mommy, why!?!?!??!

She loves her son and didn't want to force him into a "Lisa or me" conundrum.

[Kyanight]

Just now, Sir RaiderDuck OMS said:

She loves her son and didn't want to force him into a "Lisa or me" conundrum.

I agree.  I also think that Usman went and spoke to Mommy while Lisa stayed back at the hotel.  He told Mommy that he wanted to be rich and famous in America, would divorce the infidel in 2-3 years and then marry a good Nigerian woman and have many grandbabies.

[Kid]

10 hours ago, magemaud said:

Geoffrey, avoiding eye contact when leaving Varya’s mother’s house: “Bye. Thanks for everything. Nice to meet you” while Varya’s mother stares at him coldly. 

She has his number, doesn’t she!!!

[gavinmac]

2 hours ago, RealReality said:

I agree.  

Has he ever explained why he couldn't ask rose about this before boarding a plane if it's such a dealbreaker?  Or why he keeps boning her instead of asking her about it if it's such a big deal?  

 

 

He's running the Geoffrey/Ash/Pole/Jorge playbook. Bone first, then discuss the difficult issues that could be potential relationship dealbreakers. Like kids, criminal records, prenups, are you scamming me, that sort of thing. That's second date discussion, after the boning. 

[magemaud]

11 hours ago, mamadrama said:

What did he get out of "outing" her breath to the world? 

The same thing he got about asking her to take an STD test and shave her legs. He seems determined to publicly humiliate her, then apologize and try to convince her he's telling her these things for her own good and imply that she should be grateful. I think Ed considers himself a Svengali and he thinks he's going to take this impoverished young woman and with a few tweaks turn her into a beautiful, loyal and willing sex partner who will make him the envy of everyone who made fun of him over the years. She's a project and he's going to teach her hygiene and how to dress. (I can see why the flimsy teddy might have confused her but come on, did he really have to give her instructions on how to put on a bikini top?) 

I think they've had sex once. Afterwards he asked her to shave her legs. They got to the vacation hotel last night but he's not going to have sex with her again until she does something about her breath. His reaction to her ulcer was downright cold, like "you're just telling me about this NOW?" I guess it didn't come up in the three months they've been online, but he probably wasn't up front about HIS medical conditions, either. (Unlike Stephanie, who has a DISEASE, but that's another thread) 

and I just had another thought, what if Maria had asked him for money for Rose's MEDICAL TREATMENT knowing that Rose would never ask him herself. 

My favorite part was when she went to brush her teeth and said in Tagalog, "You're UGLY!" in response to his "I love you!" 

Edited April 22, 2020 by magemaud

[kendi]

33 minutes ago, Kyanight said:

I agree.  I also think that Usman went and spoke to Mommy while Lisa stayed back at the hotel.  He told Mommy that he wanted to be rich and famous in America, would divorce the infidel in 2-3 years and then marry a good Nigerian woman and have many grandbabies.

I hope so. He seems like a decent fellow that made a big mistake with Lisa. I can't see it lasting for more than a few months.

I wish Mama Usman would have stood her ground to save him from misery. It's everything that she's against and his persistence broke her down. The way Mama Usman didn't even look at Lisa and then gave her that side-eye...

[gavinmac]

1 hour ago, greekmom said:

Why the hell did Mommy Usman give her blessing???  Why Mommy, why!?!?!??!

 

46 minutes ago, Sir RaiderDuck OMS said:

She loves her son and didn't want to force him into a "Lisa or me" conundrum.

Old people in the developing world can't work and don't get social security. They are dependent on their children to give them money.  Almost all parents in Africa would be thrilled for their sons to move to the USA, where it is assumed they could earn enough money to comfortably support the parents and other family members.

[Sir RaiderDuck OMS]

6 minutes ago, kendi said:

I wish Mama Usman would have stood her ground to save him from misery. It's everything that she's against and his persistence broke her down. The way Mama Usman didn't even look at Lisa and then gave her that side-eye...

If you're a parent and pull a "Her/Him or Me," one of two things will happen:

1) They'll pick the other person and you might never see them again, or

2) They'll pick you and resent you for it forever.

Since Lisa isn't an IV drug user, arms dealer, cigarette lawyer or other lowlife, Usmama had no real option but to give her grudging acceptance.

Edited April 22, 2020 by Sir RaiderDuck OMS

[magemaud]

45 minutes ago, Sir RaiderDuck OMS said:

She loves her son and didn't want to force him into a "Lisa or me" conundrum

and he promised Mommy he and Lisa would come to Nigeria every year. I can imagine Mommy thinking, "Great, you come but leave that white bitch back in America" 

I noticed that at no time did Usman say he loves Lisa, just that she loves HIM and she wants them to get married. All he said was that he wants to go to America where the job market and economy is better and implied that marriage to Lisa is a means to an end. 

1 hour ago, Kangatush said:

I just did a 30 scroll through his insta.  It's all bullshit quotes.  So the seminar is basically him reading you inspirational memes. 

I wonder if Ash has taken pointers from Jesse's NYT best selling relationship book, "Work on Yourself, Babe." 

[Spike]

11 minutes ago, magemaud said:

I noticed that at no time did Usman say he loves Lisa, just that she loves HIM and she wants them to get married.

I think he said it to his brother when trying to enlist his help.  Maybe it’s easier for him to lie to bro than to mom.

[magemaud]

12 hours ago, magemaud said:

Not particularly flattering in the tummy area 

When Erika asked her to meet her in a botanical garden, she must have thought suitable attire was a flowered chiffon dress and platform sandals. All she needs is a little fascinator hat. 

and I hope she has liberally slathered sunblock on those puppies. 

 

[gavinmac]

11 hours ago, kendi said:

So that big bottle of Listerine...did he bring that for himself and gift it to her?  Or buy it someplace before the trip to Palawan? Really strange. 

 

I can't imagine he traveled with a huge bottle of Listerine and new toothbrush and then didn't use them for three days and gave them to her.

Recall that he met Rose and promptly declared "You should take a bath and an STD test."

Then he smells her breath and decides he needs to buy her some mouthwash. But he's surrounded by producers all the time and, so when he tries to slip out to a 7-11 they say "Where you going Ed?"  And when they find out he's buying Listerine, they insist he give it to her on camera and tell him it will be great TV. 

Every couple has a "conflict theme" and the Ed/Rose theme is that he's constantly criticizing her and telling her how to dress and groom herself, despite being a legit troll.  There's no way the producers would let him give her mouthwash on the down low.

[magemaud]

15 minutes ago, Spike said:

27 minutes ago, magemaud said:

I noticed that at no time did Usman say he loves Lisa, just that she loves HIM and she wants them to get married.

I think he said it to his brother when trying to enlist his help.  Maybe it’s easier for him to lie to bro than to mom.

@Spike, you're right. I just re-watched and he says to Mo, "I love Lisa and she loves me" then Lisa launches into her "I will move heaven and earth to be with him...yada yada yada." After that, Usman brings up the better economy and job prospects and Mo agrees to speak to Mommy on their behalf. But both times he speaks to Mommy, he doesn't say anything about loving Lisa. 

[KateHearts]

18 hours ago, Leilani said:

PART 1 IS NOW ON THE TLC APP

• Darcey has a surprise visitor: even though she unconvincingly tells us she's moved on
• David doesn't give up on Lana: even though we did six weeks ago
• Ed confronts Rose about her sister: after telling her she has bad breath
• Avery attends Ash's seminar: and it dawns on her that he's a total phony
• Stephanie & Erika try to reconnect: for the third time, even though Steph still has no interest in Pinky
• Geoffrey & Varya go camping: and Geoffrey still feels sorry for himself because everyone knows he's a shady ex-con
• Yolanda looks for answers despite the fact that her children are practically beating her over the head with evidence against "Williams."

 

 

There we go.

[DEL901]

I don’t get Ed’s upset that Rose Marie didn’t tell him about the ulcer.   It isn’t communicable and it isn’t life threatening.    What’s his problem?   She isn’t “perfect”?   He should look in the mirror.  

[Spike]

11 minutes ago, KateHearts said:

Geoffrey & Varya go camping: and Geoffrey still feels sorry for himself because everyone knows he's a shady ex-con

I like his childish logic.  This is why I lie by omission because people react poorly when I tell the truth.  

7 minutes ago, DEL901 said:

I don’t get Ed’s upset that Rose Marie didn’t tell him about the ulcer.   It isn’t communicable and it isn’t life threatening.    What’s his problem?   She isn’t “perfect”?   He should look in the mirror.  

He didn’t budget for providing medical care for her.  He assumed he would be dead before she needed any.

[RealReality]

1 hour ago, gavinmac said:

He's running the Geoffrey/Ash/Pole/Jorge playbook. Bone first, then discuss the difficult issues that could be potential relationship dealbreakers. Like kids, criminal records, prenups, are you scamming me, that sort of thing. That's second date discussion, after the boning. 

Its all very strategic. 

What a bunch of nice guys.  They really wanted a relationship, it's just a total coincidence that these red flags become deal breakers post boning.  LOL.  

 

1 hour ago, gavinmac said:

I can't imagine he traveled with a huge bottle of Listerine and new toothbrush and then didn't use them for three days and gave them to her.

Recall that he met Rose and promptly declared "You should take a bath and an STD test."

Then he smells her breath and decides he needs to buy her some mouthwash. But he's surrounded by producers all the time and, so when he tries to slip out to a 7-11 they say "Where you going Ed?"  And when they find out he's buying Listerine, they insist he give it to her on camera and tell him it will be great TV. 

Every couple has a "conflict theme" and the Ed/Rose theme is that he's constantly criticizing her and telling her how to dress and groom herself, despite being a legit troll.  There's no way the producers would let him give her mouthwash on the down low.

LOL, what's the over/under on a producer buying the mouthwash and telling him that rose would really appreciate the gesture. 

[gavinmac]

53 minutes ago, DEL901 said:

I don’t get Ed’s upset that Rose Marie didn’t tell him about the ulcer.   It isn’t communicable and it isn’t life threatening.    What’s his problem?   She isn’t “perfect”?   He should look in the mirror.  

I can imagine why Ed is annoyed about the ulcer. Imagine making plans online to buy a puppy from a breeder, and putting down an advance deposit for the puppy, and traveling a long way to collect the puppy, and then when you get there the breeder says "Here's your puppy, and, by the way, he's got distemper."  

That's how Ed feels.  Because he thinks he's buying a puppy.

[Kangatush]

Thank you for deciding this thread's euphemism for sex will be "boning".  It a fun word, and I can stand more joy.  🙂 

[Spike]

10 minutes ago, Kangatush said:

Thank you for deciding this thread's euphemism for sex will be "boning".  It a fun word, and I can stand more joy.  🙂 

When things don’t go according to plan it’s a no bone zone.

[Kyanight]

A

1 hour ago, gavinmac said:

I can imagine why Ed is annoyed about the ulcer. Imagine making plans online to buy a puppy from a breeder, and putting down an advance deposit for the puppy, and traveling a long way to collect the puppy, and then when you get there the breeder says "Here's your puppy, and, by the way, he's got distemper."  

That's how Ed feels.  Because he thinks he's buying a puppy.

And the puppy's puppy, Prince.  Aw, he already has a dog's name!

Ulcers can be taken care of.  What ails Ed (and I'm not talking about his physical limitations) has no cure.

26 minutes ago, Spike said:

When things don’t go according to plan it’s a no bone zone.

We need to chip in and buy Stephanie a T-shirt with this saying on the front.

[Auntie Anxiety]

4 hours ago, Kangatush said:

I just did a 30 scroll through his insta.  It's all bullshit quotes.  So the seminar is basically him reading you inspirational memes. 

Nothing screams excellence in relationship coaching like a DIVORCED relationship coach.

[Spike]

4 minutes ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

Nothing screams excellence in relationship coaching like a DIVORCED relationship coach.

Wonder if he cheated with one of the clients.

[magemaud]

2 hours ago, Spike said:

I like his childish logic.  This is why I lie by omission because people react poorly when I tell the truth.  

He said, "I don't like to tell people about my past because they judge me." 

You should have thought of that years ago when you went into the drug selling business. It's going to haunt you forever and rightly so, IMO

Edited April 22, 2020 by magemaud

[Spike]

37 minutes ago, magemaud said:

He said, "I don't like to tell people about my past because they judge me." 

You should have thought of that years ago when you went into the drug selling business. It's going to haunt you forever and rightly so, IMO

That’s one of the reasons others refrain from crime.

[greekmom]

4 hours ago, gavinmac said:

 

Old people in the developing world can't work and don't get social security. They are dependent on their children to give them money.  Almost all parents in Africa would be thrilled for their sons to move to the USA, where it is assumed they could earn enough money to comfortably support the parents and other family members.

While I would agree with you, then why didn't she say yes the first time? I think TLC cut something or edited something someway.

 

[RealReality]

1 hour ago, magemaud said:

He said, "I don't like to tell people about my past because they judge me." 

You should have thought of that years ago when you went into the drug selling business. It's going to haunt you forever and rightly so, IMO

Well, people are either going to judge you or they aren't.  But that's their right and it doesn't mean you don't tell them.  

But I LOL at how Geoffrey went from "I'm just varyas ticket to a green card and she would get with any American to get one!" to...."wow, varya might ditch me because her mom doesn't like me and in have a criminal history"

Whomp, whomp....guess she isn't that thirsty for a green card is she? She actually has standards.  

[magemaud]

I wonder if Geoffrey has mentioned another little detail from his past, his multiple ex wives! 

[DiamondGirl]

I hate Ed so much.  Condescending, ugly (I’m not referring to his looks), disgusting person.  I would imagine Rose has had medical care since she knows she has an ulcer and that her breath is a side effect.  She can get back on the Internet to find someone better.  I would take Annie’s David over Ed.  

[Auntie Anxiety]

When Ed goes back to AsianCupid.com after realizing that Rose isn’t his queen, he’ll need to tell his potential victims soulmates that they’ll need to take an STD test as well as a breath test.

[Spike]

13 minutes ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

When Ed goes back to AsianCupid.com after realizing that Rose isn’t his queen, he’ll need to tell his potential victims soulmates that they’ll need to take an STD test as well as a breath test.

Don’t you think after his performance on the show hot American women will be throwing themselves at him lol?

[lilysmom]

10 hours ago, Zevious Zoquis said:

the way Ed talks to Rose is so icky!  His grown daughter must be very proud of dad...

Agree! He sounds to me like he is "grooming" her. (She does look like a 14 old to me.)

 

 

 

Edited April 22, 2020 by lilysmom
removed the part that I wasn't responding to!

[magemaud]

17 minutes ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

When Ed goes back to AsianCupid.com after realizing that Rose isn’t his queen, he’ll need to tell his potential victims soulmates that they’ll need to take an STD test as well as a breath test.

a new type of "Breathalyzer" test 

[Takitaki]

8 hours ago, Sir RaiderDuck OMS said:

I get the impression that "relationship coaches" are more for single people wondering why they can't stay in one.

He did have a short section of coaching someone in earlier episodes, a woman he complemented and then asked her if she had discussed "language of love" (lol) with her partner or someone she's dating. So maybe single women tell him about their dates and he gives them inspirational quotes on how to "keep" the man they're dating...

[Angry Moldovan]

21 hours ago, kendi said:

OMG they are going to Palawan so at least it's an actual vacation resort, not just a hotel away from her house so he can have AC. It would have been nice to bring Prince there. I am so grossed out that he bought her a bikini and lingerie. What an asshole to give her dental crap, and talking to her like she's a child. "Do you understand?" He's so insulting. I wish she would have just thrown that stuff back at him because he is rude and yes, pangit!

I shall save the rest of my snark for live chat, but eggman is despicable. That teddy looked like it would fit a little girl. Dirty old perve 🥚 

[gavinmac]

2 hours ago, greekmom said:

While I would agree with you, then why didn't she say yes the first time? I think TLC cut something or edited something someway.

 

I would say because it's a TV show and the producers like drama, and they fabricate the impoverished families of Usman, Akinyi, and Annie supposedly "agonizing" over whether to approve their marriages to the American. 

[RealReality]

1 minute ago, gavinmac said:

I would say because it's a TV show and the producers like drama, and they fabricate the impoverished families of Usman, Akinyi, and Annie supposedly "agonizing" over whether to approve their marriages to the American. 

I don't doubt that many Nigerians and other people who live in Africa want to come to the US for wealth and opportunity. 

However, I also think it's possible that a woman may care for her son so much that she would prioritize his health and safety above financial gain.  

Without even a shred of anger, mother Usman explained her concerns about racism in America and why, given the history of....how shall we say.... involuntary labor that many Africans went through in America, she is worried some old, crusty white lady is going to make her son a servant or a slave. 

You may think those concerns are silly and unfounded.  But I think that usmans mother thinks that they are very real.  

And, just like any other mother, she may prefer having her son physically nearby to being a world away.  Right how he is a car trip away, if he is in America he is a world away.  She seemed to soften when he promised to visit every year.  

19 minutes ago, Takitaki said:

He did have a short section of coaching someone in earlier episodes, a woman he complemented and then asked her if she had discussed "language of love" (lol) with her partner or someone she's dating. So maybe single women tell him about their dates and he gives them inspirational quotes on how to "keep" the man they're dating...

....brush your teeth and put in this uncomfortable looking teddy?  Oops, wrong coach. 

[Coltee Gal]

6 hours ago, DEL901 said:

 

I don’t get Ed’s upset that Rose Marie didn’t tell him about the ulcer.   It isn’t communicable and it isn’t life threatening.    What’s his problem?   She isn’t “perfect”?   He should look in the mirror.  

 

He’s upset because he now knows that the Listerine, toothbrush and toothpaste ain’t gonna change her breath and he will have to decide whether or not he can tolerate it long enough to fuck her. Let’s be honest he doesn’t have a long enough  pipe and too much of a gut to hit it from behind. 

[charmed1]

I feel badly for Rose. She didn’t deserve to be embarrassed like that on camera. Ed is a gross little troll who is slowly trying to chip away at her self-esteem. He knows what he’s doing. 

[iwasish]

On 4/21/2020 at 7:38 PM, FurBabyMama said:

Omg Ed!! And the toothbrush! I loved when she was walking away and Ed is saying “I love you” and her response in tagalog is “you’re ugly”. He’s just so creepy. And the teddy? Seriously? Giving a teddy the first time you meet someone? I would have punched him in his face. 

She’s already fucked him and I’m sure she has worn plenty of lingerie in the past. Calling him ugly...(true though it is) says a lot more about her than about him. Not only is she willing to sleep with him) if it was just her I might understand it) but to let some one she finds “ugly”  help raise and influence her son, says a lot about her character. 

 

 

[Spike]

2 minutes ago, iwasish said:

She’s already fucked him and I’m sure she has worn plenty of lingerie in the past. Calling him ugly...(true though it is) says a lot more about her than about him. Not only is she willing to sleep with him) if it was just her I might understand it) but to let some one she finds “ugly”  help raise and influence her son, says a lot about her character. 

 

 

She may have decided after that exchange that she no longer wanted to be with him.  She has to know that at least the ITM where she calls him rude would air and also that TLC could and would translate ugly from Tagalog.

[iwasish]

10 hours ago, nutella fitzgerald said:

Ed is so condescending it makes me physically ill. He couldn’t look at the plane seating arrangement to see if it was a window seat, he had to make sure he announced to as many people as possible that Rose had NEVER been on a plane before!!!

She steered him around that airport like a pro, she’s flown plenty of times. And she’s very comfortable in a hotel room. Not buying her innocent act. Can’t stomach Ed either but don’t see anything sympathetic about her. 

[iwasish]

9 hours ago, Spike said:

Was he quoting Hugh Hefner or something?  Men are logical goal seekers, women are emotional nurturers etc.  Ugh.

I’d love to see Ash take on Darcey. 
And love to see Jessie and Ash in a conversation.