S04.E09: Should've Known Better

[RealReality]

1 minute ago, Dobian said:

Others have made the point it is possible that "she" is possibly multiple people over the years who just chat with him while sending him fake pictures.  But if this is a single individual, of course she is responsible for the risk she is taking.  It is obvious you do not believe in personal responsibility, but I do.  I have a daughter.  If she did that for a living the first thing I would tell her would be to find anther way to make a living.  But if I heard her joke about a guy who thinks they are going to get married I would tell her to stop immediately because of the danger she is putting herself in.  Scamming a person is not s legitimate job.  If a person is just paying for sex chat it is one thing, if you are deceiving them it is something else.  No, standing a person up and ghosting them is not a clear message to a deranged individual when you are sending them a text the same day (as we watched on the show) that yes, you are going to come to America with them.  You want to argue about who is right or wrong, well it does not matter who is right or wrong if this woman ends up dead.  Prostitutes get beaten up all the time by their johns.  Do they deserve it?  Of course not.  But when you go into a room with a man you never met before you are taking a huge risk.  The difference between a prostitute and the woman in this story - if she is indeed real - is that the prostitute is not deceiving anyone.  She has seen the warning signs for years and persisted in encouraging this possibly dangerous fantasy of his.  If she winds up hurt - or worse - because of this, it doesn't matter that he had no business coming out there.  She played a game with a dangerous individual and ignored the signs for the $16-17K a year she was getting from him.

None of that risk should ever include having a stalker.  Because she is not responsible for David's actions.  And stalking is not acceptable.  If someone doesn't want to meet you you don't get carte blanche to stalk them because they deserve it. 

And if David cannot control his behavior to the point where Lana is responsible for his stalking her then he doesn't belong in any society. 

[Kyanight]

15 minutes ago, RealReality said:

And i don't believe that Lana encouraged David to fly anywhere.  I think that is David's version of events and I think it is a misconception.  I think HE said he was going to fly there and they would meet and she said yes. 

Well she sent him a text after she stood him up at the train station that said she will wanted to meet him to have pictures taken for the Visa so that she could come to America.  That's why he went to that restaurant with the 9 roses.  So she IS encouraging him to meet her, even after ghosting him.  Why do that?  

[RealReality]

2 minutes ago, Kyanight said:

Clearly a man who shows up over and over after you stand him up each time is not right in his head.  Why would someone encourage that kind of behavior?  I'm not saying she "deserves what she gets" and I never said that.  I said she has to EXPECT that a man might go psycho if he's already demonstrated that he's willing to fly across the world multiple times even when she doesn't meet him like she says she will.  Saying you want a Visa and a green card and want to get married is unnecessary and taking things a bit far - and it IS unethical behavior and to me criminal as well, to make someone pay that kind of money to fly to your country multiple times.  That is more than encouraging a man to keep chatting on an expensive phone line.

Yes, it is David's CHOICE to fly out there four times, five times - however many times he is going to do it.  But all of US can see that this isn't normal behavior - why can't "Lana" see that she isn't dealing with someone who possesses a "full deck of cards?"  

So while NO ONE deserves violence or stalking - if you are going to engage someone who is CLEARLY not your normal average person - that IS taking things too far and it's like playing with fire.   Chat/sext/knock yourself out - but don't say you will wear a blue dress and meet at the train station or that you want to meet for pictures for a Visa when a person has to fly clear across the world to do this.  Don't you see that this is wrong?

I don't think anyone should expect to get stalked for encouraging horny men.  Not hookers, not chat line girls, not cam girls, not strippers, not anyone.  

You should expect that when you don't tell a human adult that you want to see them, when you don't give them your contact information, when they KNOW (because they said they know) that you don't want to meet them.....that they don't stalk and ambush you.  

That's a fairly basic expectation.  He KNEW he didn't want to meet him. He said as much.  But he had "invested so much" so it didn't matter what she wanted. 

[TMI]

Got to say.....

I don't believe "Lana" gave David her real address...so chances are the person in the apt is not going to be her.

David spent over 100k to talk to the "Lanas' so he thinks that he OWNS ber because he BOUGHT her..

DAVID is not playing with a full deck...

 

Quote

 

 

[RealReality]

Just now, Kyanight said:

Well she sent him a text after she stood him up at the train station that said she will wanted to meet him to have pictures taken for the Visa so that she could come to America.  That's why he went to that restaurant with the 9 roses.  So she IS encouraging him to meet her, even after ghosting him.  Why do that?  

He got on chat and said that he was in her hometown.  So he drove out there without any encouragement to do so from him.  

She ghosted him and he won't leave her alone.  She is happy not to talk to him and will only talk to him on a chat line.  

I don't think anyone gave him a real address, and I'm not sure how much the chats are monitored to make sure the girls are being nice and encouraging chat, but ghosting him and not getting her cut of $2.99 a minute is probably about as far as she can go.  

At this point, why not make a last play.  Though I suspect he will be right back in that chat room looking for her. 

[Kyanight]

1 minute ago, RealReality said:

I don't think anyone should expect to get stalked for encouraging horny men.  Not hookers, not chat line girls, not cam girls, not strippers, not anyone.  

You should expect that when you don't tell a human adult that you want to see them, when you don't give them your contact information, when they KNOW (because they said they know) that you don't want to meet them.....that they don't stalk and ambush you.  

That's a fairly basic expectation.  He KNEW he didn't want to meet him. He said as much.  But he had "invested so much" so it didn't matter what she wanted. 

LANA was the one who, after standing David up at the train station, texted him that she STILL wanted to meet to have pictures taken for the Visa so that she could come to America and marry him.  This was AFTER she ghosted him at the train station.  LANA was the one who said "Meet me at such and such cafe" so we can get these said pictures taken.   Whoever Lana is KNOWS that this man is not dealing with a full deck and they are playing cruel games.   Who taunts someone who is mentally ill?  This is wrong no matter how you look at it.  This is beyond "it's just business".  

We will just have to agree to disagree because we both view this quite differently.

[PamelaMaeSnap]

3 hours ago, Kangatush said:

I think you both have valid points and I also think they don't apply in this situation.  "Lana" is a character employed by a company to chat with men.  It might be one person, or many people.  They may be male, female, a bot, or a trained monkey.  What I can basically guarantee though is that they aren't the woman in the pics and that I'm 99.99% certain that address has nothing to do with them.  

Absolutely this. I've avoided being spoiled and have watched up to the end of this episode and if Lana turns out to be a real person I will be as shocked as I have ever been by ANYTHING on this show. 

Also? I very much covet Doggie Varya. 

 

[AZChristian]

1 minute ago, RealReality said:

None of that risk should ever include having a stalker.  Because she is not responsible for David's actions.  And stalking is not acceptable.  If someone doesn't want to meet you you don't get carte blanche to stalk them because they deserve it. 

And if David cannot control his behavior to the point where Lana is responsible for his stalking her then he doesn't belong in any society. 

Think of it as these scenarios. 

• A panhandler asks for money and you give it to them, that's your choice.  (Lana is the panhandler, David is dropping money into her hat.)  Transaction complete.  Move on with life.
• A criminal scams you and intentionally steals your money.  That's wrong.  But that doesn't mean you can choose to hunt down the scammer to seek your own justice, unless you're doing it to call the police and turn them in.  (Lana is the scammer, David is the hunter.)

David has been scammed, but he needs to just acknowledge it and move on.  At one point does a person with $100,000 to fritter away wake up and realize that giving even one more penny to a scammer is throwing bad money after good? 

Maybe he needs to go on Dr. Phil so Phil can have his Private Investigator track down Lana.  The end of the episode would be Dr. Phil getting in David's face to tell him that there IS no Lana . . . that she never has existed as a real person who is romantically interested in him.  And David would sit there and say, "I understand" while linking back into the website so he could tell "Lana" what Dr. Phil says.  

[Gobi]

3 minutes ago, PamelaMaeSnap said:

Absolutely this. I've avoided being spoiled and have watched up to the end of this episode and if Lana turns out to be a real person I will be as shocked as I have ever been by ANYTHING on this show. 

Also? I very much covet Doggie Varya. 

 

The best thing about this season has been the dogs.

[RealReality]

12 minutes ago, Kyanight said:

Clearly a man who shows up over and over after you stand him up each time is not right in his head.  Why would someone encourage that kind of behavior?  I'm not saying she "deserves what she gets" and I never said that.  I said she has to EXPECT that a man might go psycho if he's already demonstrated that he's willing to fly across the world multiple times even when she doesn't meet him like she says she will.  Saying you want a Visa and a green card and want to get married is unnecessary and taking things a bit far - and it IS unethical behavior and to me criminal as well, to make someone pay that kind of money to fly to your country multiple times.  That is more than encouraging a man to keep chatting on an expensive phone line.

Yes, it is David's CHOICE to fly out there four times, five times - however many times he is going to do it.  But all of US can see that this isn't normal behavior - why can't "Lana" see that she isn't dealing with someone who possesses a "full deck of cards?"  

So while NO ONE deserves violence or stalking - if you are going to engage someone who is CLEARLY not your normal average person - that IS taking things too far and it's like playing with fire.   Chat/sext/knock yourself out - but don't say you will wear a blue dress and meet at the train station or that you want to meet for pictures for a Visa when a person has to fly clear across the world to do this.  Don't you see that this is wrong?

That's Lana's job, I try not to make too many value judgments about what a person does for a living.  

Frankly, I didn't really have a problem with Maria so I definitely don't have a problem with Lana.  

What IS wrong, what IS unacceptable is even setting an expectation that if a man wants to have sex or a relationship with you and you've done something to encourage that, you should expect to get stalked and be in danger.  

That should not be an expectation.  What should be an expectation is that if someone doesn't want you to show up.....you don't show up and ambush them.  

This is a fairly bright line expectation I have from anyone.  Whether they feel encouraged or not. 

[Kangatush]

14 minutes ago, Gobi said:

The best thing about this every season are has been the dogs.

FIFY  🙂

14 minutes ago, RealReality said:

That's Lana's job, I try not to make too many value judgments about what a person does for a living.  

Frankly, I didn't really have a problem with Maria so I definitely don't have a problem with Lana.  

What IS wrong, what IS unacceptable is even setting an expectation that if a man wants to have sex or a relationship with you and you've done something to encourage that, you should expect to get stalked and be in danger.  

That should not be an expectation.  What should be an expectation is that if someone doesn't want you to show up.....you don't show up and ambush them.  

This is a fairly bright line expectation I have from anyone.  Whether they feel encouraged or not. 

I think two concepts are being blurred.  There's responsibility, which is just a fact, and there's what someone "deserves", which is pure judgement.

For example:  If I make the choice to hang out with tigers, I need to accept the responsibility that something bad may happen.  I also do not deserve to have my arm ripped off.

Edited April 21, 2020 by Kangatush

[humbleopinion]

No doggies (sorry house chicken and pre nup goat) have been harmed in the filming of Season 4 of 90D.

[Zevious Zoquis]

5 minutes ago, Kangatush said:

FITY  🙂

I think two concepts are being blurred.  There's responsibility, which is just a fact, and there's what someone "deserves", which is pure judgement.

For example:  If I make the choice to hang out with tigers, I need to accept the responsibility that something bad may happen.  I also do not deserve to have my arm ripped off.

Not "deserve" maybe, but I'd say "expect" might be realistic.  Like that guy who used to go out every year and live with the Grizzlies...until the Grizzlies decided to eat he and his girlfriend.

 

Lana (who isn't real of course) is a woman who now knows she is dealing with a dude who has flown around the world 4 times and been stood up by her.  If I was her, and I had used any of my real personal info during my interactions with this guy, I'd be seeking protection.

[Kangatush]

1 minute ago, Zevious Zoquis said:

Lana (who isn't real of course) is a woman who now knows she is dealing with a dude who has flown around the world 4 times and been stood up by her.  If I was her, and I had used any of my real personal info during my interactions with this guy, I'd be seeking protection.

EXACTLY.  That would be taking responsibility for her actions (if she existed).  But again, that would be about her and her choices.  Even if she were cruel to David, he would still be responsible for how he acts.  "I have no choice... she owes me... I deserve an answer in person..."  That is all total bullshit without any basis in reality because David is only in charge of his own actions and reactions.

[Zevious Zoquis]

Just now, Kangatush said:

EXACTLY.  That would be taking responsibility for her actions (if she existed).  But again, that would be about her and her choices.  Even if she were cruel to David, he would still be responsible for how he acts.  "I have no choice... she owes me... I deserve an answer in person..."  That is all total bullshit without any basis in reality because David is only in charge of his own actions and reactions.

Of course, but he's deranged.  Expecting a person who is obviously deranged (having actually done this 3 times already) to make the rational choice is not realistic.  There's two people involved here.  One is obviously a deranged creep (again, assuming the story is as it's being presented.  Which it probably isn't) and the other is a woman stringing him along.  Is it rational to expect the deranged lunatic to "take the hint" or would it be wise for the woman to "take the hint?"

[Pondlass1]

I wish Darcy would get rid of those chunks of straw-like fake hair that she has glued to her head.   It looks so uncomfortable and heavy.  It must give her headaches.  If she lost the fake hair and the bulbous fake boobs she'd be 20 pounds lighter... and much happier maybe?

You need to be tall for this fake look and she's not.

And then there's BGL who doesn't do one single thing to enhance her looks.  She didn't even bother to dye the grey roots before leaving home.  She's sullen and dour.  Honestly, if I had to... I'd rather spend time with Big Ange.  At least I think we'd have a laugh... although I'd be a wee bit scared of upsetting her, I must admit.

Bored now with the Australian visitors - Stephanie and Avery, and twits like Yolanda and David.   It's all just padding to make a 1 hour show into 2 hours. 

Geoffrey gives me chills.  But at least  Big Ed and BGL storylines are entertaining.

British Tom just wants the TLC fame money but I have to admit I wonder what will happen next when he meets up with our fragile Darcy.  Be kind Tom...

 

 

 

 

 

[Kath94]

16 hours ago, Kangatush said:

It's the modern, "Come up and see my etchings".  It's basically an invitation for some casual intimacy, up to and including, sex.  Slightly classier than a straight up booty call.  

Thank you for that explanation.  I'm so old that when I ask my husband if he's up for some Netflix & chill, we end up watching TV!

[RealReality]

39 minutes ago, Zevious Zoquis said:

Of course, but he's deranged.  Expecting a person who is obviously deranged (having actually done this 3 times already) to make the rational choice is not realistic.  There's two people involved here.  One is obviously a deranged creep (again, assuming the story is as it's being presented.  Which it probably isn't) and the other is a woman stringing him along.  Is it rational to expect the deranged lunatic to "take the hint" or would it be wise for the woman to "take the hint?"

If he is deranged and cannot be expected to not stalk someone then he belongs in an institution.  In that case, his family is at fault for not putting him in one. 

Edited April 21, 2020 by RealReality

[Zevious Zoquis]

5 minutes ago, RealReality said:

If he is deranged and cannot be expected to not stalk someone then he belongs in an institution.  And then his family is at fault for not putting him in one. 

maybe, but that doesn't change the reality of the situation for Lana.  

 

It's like every year where I am there's guys out riding mountain bikes on busy roads in the middle of bad winter weather.  "I had the right to be there" isn't a particularly impressive epitaph on a tombstone...

[RealReality]

7 minutes ago, Zevious Zoquis said:

maybe, but that doesn't change the reality of the situation for Lana.  

 

It's like every year where I am there's guys out riding mountain bikes on busy roads in the middle of bad winter weather.  "I had the right to be there" isn't a particularly impressive epitaph on a tombstone...

The reality of the situation is that any women is subject to being stalked and almost every guy has a "justification" for doing so. 

This is why the expectation should be that human adults don't stalk other human adults.  Not that you should expect to get stalked if you lead someone on or even if you encourage their attention.  

If an adult human cannot meet that expectation, they should be removed from society until they can. 

Edited April 21, 2020 by RealReality

[Zevious Zoquis]

5 minutes ago, RealReality said:

The reality of the situation is that any women is subject to being stalked and almost every guy has a "justification" for doing so. 

This is why the expectation should be that human adults don't stalk other human adults.  Not that you should expect to get stalked if you lead someone on or even if you encourage their attention.  

If an adult human cannot meet that expectation, they should be removed from society until they can. 

So you're arguing from a fantasy perspective then?  

 

David doesn't have a justification for stalking.  Stalking is wrong.  Lana (who isn't real) doesn't deserve to be stalked.  And yet it's happening.  And it could have been avoided...easily (and probably has been but we're pretending the situation as presented is real)

Edited April 21, 2020 by Zevious Zoquis

[Kangatush]

We're getting a little serious.  Look!  A goat!

[RealReality]

24 minutes ago, Zevious Zoquis said:

So you're arguing from a fantasy perspective then?  

 

David doesn't have a justification for stalking.  Stalking is wrong.  Lana (who isn't real) doesn't deserve to be stalked.  And yet it's happening.  And it could have been avoided...easily (and probably has been but we're pretending the situation as presented is real)

I don't think (and I hope) there isn't an argument at all.  But I would say that from my perspective, this is all hypothetical because, like you said David 100% doesn't have Lana's address because Lana isn't a real human being.  

But, no one should expect a stalker.  No one.  Unless you invite someone to your place you shouldn't expect that they are going to try to ambush you.  

 

 

[magemaud]

2 hours ago, RealReality said:

But Lana didn't make any excuses after she didn't meet David at the train station.  She ghosted and he then decided it was okay to stalk her.  

I remember David telling his friend with the Ukrainian wife, "Well, the first time she DID stand me up, [apparently with no excuse] but the second time her brother died and the third she had surgery so she had reasons to cancel". This time he was convinced something had happened to her so he traveled to her town. Then she initiated contact with no excuse for not being on the train and just a meet for a photo op and to start visa process one sentence text and didn't even confirm the details until the next day. She probably thought, "oh crap, NOW how do I get out of this?" 

edited to add, I wonder if David sent her money via the chat website for her brother's funeral or for her surgery? 

Edited April 21, 2020 by magemaud

[Spike]

1 hour ago, Zevious Zoquis said:

Not "deserve" maybe, but I'd say "expect" might be realistic.  Like that guy who used to go out every year and live with the Grizzlies...until the Grizzlies decided to eat he and his girlfriend.

 

Lana (who isn't real of course) is a woman who now knows she is dealing with a dude who has flown around the world 4 times and been stood up by her.  If I was her, and I had used any of my real personal info during my interactions with this guy, I'd be seeking protection.

If she’s real it would be funny if she gave him the wrong city.

[Zevious Zoquis]

6 minutes ago, Spike said:

If she’s real it would be funny if she gave him the wrong city.

If she has no plans at all to ever meet him and is just doing a job why would she give him any real info at all.  Picture, name, location, gender...it's likely all fake.

Edited April 21, 2020 by Zevious Zoquis

[silversage]

"David, champagne for two party of one...your table is ready."

[RedDelicious]

2 hours ago, Kyanight said:

LANA was the one who, after standing David up at the train station, texted him that she STILL wanted to meet to have pictures taken for the Visa so that she could come to America and marry him.  This was AFTER she ghosted him at the train station.  LANA was the one who said "Meet me at such and such cafe" so we can get these said pictures taken.   

Quoting you for context - My opinion on this whole matter is the paid chat site is just that. A paid chat site. I don't think it is a dating site, even if it is marketed as one. The Lanas have never agreed to communicate with David outside of the site. Our answer is right there, and where the context comes into play. The job of The Lanas is to keep David chatting, therefore keep him paying, and so after each stand-up, they have to offer a little bait to keep the chats going. That is their job, to keep the chats going. And for seven years, they have succeeded. 

If David wanted a beautiful Ukranian girlfriend that badly, shouldn't he have signed up with a matchmaker or a better dating site?

[PamelaMaeSnap]

Watching that scene with Darcey and Stacey having drinks by the river (a spot I must find on my next trip to Connecticut) was almost literally painful ... those LIPS. Forget everything else surgically or cosmetically altered on them, when they cry those duck lips are just fascinatingly horrific. 

Perhaps one of them could donate a little bit of their lippage to BGL who apparently does not have ANY lips ... I think they withered away from lack of use. We've never seen her smile ... she only purses her mouth a tiny bit ... in one scene, I think she was trying to force a pretend smile (to Mommy?) and it just came out as a frown ... 

All I could think of was this VERY old Peanuts strip from 1962 (I had all of the books) which I was really delighted to be able to find online so easily ... 

https://www.gocomics.com/peanuts/1962/10/22

 

[itsadryheat]

This David story is disturbing to me.

He appears deranged. He seems proud of this 7 year, in his head, “relationship”.  He is not embarrassed by the amount of money he paid for this fantasy. He whines, yet not affected, by repeated in person ghosting, and continues to set himself up for more.

The look of glee on his face, when the bot Lana messaged him after yet another ghosting, was scary.

He acts entitled to Lana. Hence, the predatory hunt for Lana.

This is behavior someone would hide, not advertise on a reality tv show.

At least Geoffrey is an ID channel “actor”.  This can’t be real. His friends should be hosting an intervention with a therapist rather than appearing on camera with the guy.

100 Ukranian women. Every woman’s dream.

[mixedmartialmom]

Kinda bemused that there are a significant number of you who think Lana is a real woman who gives out her real address to her "internet boyfriend." There is no doubt that "she" is, at various times,  one of a number of women posing as the character of Lana (maybe in the Ukraine; maybe in another area nearby, but of that part of the world) -- or men, posing as the character of Lana -- or, even, a well-programmed bot that can have somewhat-realistic "conversations" with a sad, desperate, lonely, and, apparently somewhat wealthy old American man, via a pay-per-minute English translation site -- to make money for a corporation who knows and exploits its target audience (sad, desperate, lonely. somewhat wealthy men from Western countries who are willing to scramble for crumbs).  I hope David is just an old community theater actor who can't get cast in the Galena, Illinois summer stock production of  "The Music Man" anymore and thought posing as a sitting duck on 90 Day would be a good paying gig, and not really the absolutely drowning-in-denial dimwit doormat he appears to be.  Please do NOT worry that he is stalking an actual person.  Even if David is for real, TLC would have  verified the existence of "Lana" before traveling there to have him wait in train stations and cafes and go on a road trip to knock on a door.  There is no "Lana." All David (or the character of David, please I hope he's an actor) has are the memories of $100,000 worth of typed messages that he can't even access, and obviously  professionally-taken photos of some anonymous young model.  No one is in any danger here except David's bank account and heart (IF he is real, but I hope for sanity's sake he is an actor).

[Spike]

24 minutes ago, mixedmartialmom said:

Kinda bemused that there are a significant number of you who think Lana is a real woman who gives out her real address to her "internet boyfriend." There is no doubt that "she" is, at various times,  one of a number of women posing as the character of Lana (maybe in the Ukraine; maybe in another area nearby, but of that part of the world) -- or men, posing as the character of Lana -- or, even, a well-programmed bot that can have somewhat-realistic "conversations" with a sad, desperate, lonely, and, apparently somewhat wealthy old American man, via a pay-per-minute English translation site -- to make money for a corporation who knows and exploits its target audience (sad, desperate, lonely. somewhat wealthy men from Western countries who are willing to scramble for crumbs).  I hope David is just an old community theater actor who can't get cast in the Galena, Illinois summer stock production of  "The Music Man" anymore and thought posing as a sitting duck on 90 Day would be a good paying gig, and not really the absolutely drowning-in-denial dimwit doormat he appears to be.  Please do NOT worry that he is stalking an actual person.  Even if David is for real, TLC would have  verified the existence of "Lana" before traveling there to have him wait in train stations and cafes and go on a road trip to knock on a door.  There is no "Lana." All David (or the character of David, please I hope he's an actor) has are the memories of $100,000 worth of typed messages that he can't even access, and obviously  professionally-taken photos of some anonymous young model.  No one is in any danger here except David's bank account and heart (IF he is real, but I hope for sanity's sake he is an actor).

While the woman in the pictures may not be type chatting with him every time, she has appeared on “live” video so she is involved somewhat.  (I suppose they could have a stock recording but then her physical responses would be off.) Because they don’t speak each others’ languages they would type while video “chatting.”  I don’t know why they don’t do it every time — either because David is cheap and video chatting costs more per minute or she is not available sometimes and someone else is typing.

Edited April 21, 2020 by Spike

[mixedmartialmom]

9 minutes ago, Spike said:

While the woman in the pictures may not be type chatting with him every time, she has appeared on “live” video so she is involved somewhat.  (I suppose they could have a stock recording but then her physical responses would be off.) Because they don’t speak each others’ languages they would type while video “chatting.”  I don’t know why they don’t do it every time — either because David is cheap and video chatting costs more per minute or she is not available sometimes and someone else is typing.

https://meaww.com/90-day-fiance-before-the-90-days-david-lana-meeting-7-years-chatting-money-spent-catfishing-fans

 

There was no audio in the video call.  There is no "Lana." She is a fictitious character, one of dozens or maybe hundreds, invented by some old Soviet bloc scam outfit to bilk sad, desperate, lonely, wealthy, gullible American dudes.  What man do you know who would, in seven years, be okay with never having a phone call, a direct email or text (I mean, Google translate does wonders; he's got a translation app on his phone FFS), etc. and just shell out money to have brief, superficial online exchanges? What man do you know who would accept ridiculous excuse after excuse for missed meetings, not the next town over, but internationally? Come on.  Lana is not a person.  TLC would have hunted her down.

[DEL901]

29 minutes ago, mixedmartialmom said:

 

Apologies. I commented on the link but didn’t realize the link was considered a spoiler since it referenced earlier events. 

Edited April 21, 2020 by DEL901

[Spike]

This is a no spoiler thread.

[iwasish]

21 hours ago, Kangatush said:

It's the modern, "Come up and see my etchings".  It's basically an invitation for some casual intimacy, up to and including, sex.  Slightly classier than a straight up booty call.  

Shirley MacLaine “Would you like to see my Renoir?”

Jack Nicholson “ Does  it happen to be in your bedroom?”

After viewing said Renoir:

Jack: “I was doing laps when you called, luckily for us, I only did 2”

 

[Dobian]

7 hours ago, RealReality said:

None of that risk should ever include having a stalker.  Because she is not responsible for David's actions.  And stalking is not acceptable.  If someone doesn't want to meet you you don't get carte blanche to stalk them because they deserve it. 

And if David cannot control his behavior to the point where Lana is responsible for his stalking her then he doesn't belong in any society. 

I'm not saying it;s acceptable and that she is responsible for his actions, I'm saying that she knew what she was dealing with and she persisted.  She is responsible for her actions, which jeopardized her safety.  I know what she was thinking.  This guy lives across the ocean and she would never have to worry about seeing him in person.  But we already saw with Caesar and Maria, that an obsessed individual will stop at nothing.  That's what I meant when I said she has hopefully learned her lesson.  Don't play games with stalkers.  Don't tell a guy year after year that you are going to come to America and live with him, when it's a lie and you know he is mentally unbalanced. These girls aren't dumb, they know the difference between the guys who understand it;s all a game and for fun and the guys who think it's something else.  She really needed to cut the cord with this guy years ago.

[CaliCat]

On 4/18/2020 at 11:24 PM, Frozendiva said:

Maybe the 'boy' moniker is a thing. I found that as the Beach Boys aged, their material came across as a bit creepy.

 

On 4/19/2020 at 12:04 AM, Spike said:

And Boy George is like 55 now.

This is why I always thought that Old Dirty Bastard was so wise.  Unfortunately, he died at 35, so there’s no guarantee that you’ll grow into, or outgrow, your stage name. 

[LadyoftheLake23]

On 4/20/2020 at 1:03 AM, Frozendiva said:

Lisa may not take care of her skin. I am a couple years older than Lisa and except for my 11 wrinkle on my forehead and a light wrinkle here and there, my skin is not bad. Of course, I use serum and moisturizer, etc. And no bad habits.

Second that, @Frozendiva! I am also a couple years older than BGL and my skin is much better (Ha! I have the 11 foreheard wrinkle too!). Same as you - good moisturizer and no bad habits (as a teen I was unable to tan like everyone else because I have very fair skin that just burns - hated it back then but now am happy it spared me the sun damage, which I have a feeling is part of Lisa's skin issue.)

[bravofan27]

Maybe what David does is say, "I want to come see you!" And bot says, "I would love that!" And David misconstrued that as an invitation. I actually think it's a bot that is typing back to David, but the responses are just too perfect, and designed to keep him texting. As people have mentioned, a real person would have some sort of conscious about leading a guy on to this extent. And the amount a real person would make from these text exchanges would be so small, there is no way any person could afford that job. Certainly a gorgeous model isn't spending their days trying to keep random losers texting her to make 10 bucks.

Edited April 21, 2020 by bravofan27

[RealReality]

42 minutes ago, Dobian said:

I'm not saying it;s acceptable and that she is responsible for his actions, I'm saying that she knew what she was dealing with and she persisted.  She is responsible for her actions, which jeopardized her safety.  I know what she was thinking.  This guy lives across the ocean and she would never have to worry about seeing him in person.  But we already saw with Caesar and Maria, that an obsessed individual will stop at nothing.  That's what I meant when I said she has hopefully learned her lesson.  Don't play games with stalkers.  Don't tell a guy year after year that you are going to come to America and live with him, when it's a lie and you know he is mentally unbalanced. These girls aren't dumb, they know the difference between the guys who understand it;s all a game and for fun and the guys who think it's something else.  She really needed to cut the cord with this guy years ago.

To me that's technically shifting blame to Lana for David's behavior.  

Her actions didn't jeopardize her safety, his actions did and as a human adult he and he along is responsible for his actions.  

And now Lana has to psychologically profile him because that's her responsibility?  

No one should expect that their actions will result in a stalker who is going to ambush them at their house uninvited.  

"Don't play games with stalkers" is right along the lines of "don't go to a bar with too short a skirt on" or "you should have expected this when you showed your ankles"

All of this shifts the blame for David's behavior to Lana because "well, he is weird, we cannot expect him to follow the rules". If he can't follow the rules then he should be institutionalized. 

But if he is sane enough to follow rules, then he should be expected to do so.  And not stalking someone and ambusing someone you KNOW doesn't want to see you is a pretty bright line rule. 

Because no matter how a woman leads a man on, she should not expect a stalker to ambush her.  And that is a scary precedent to set.  

Edited April 21, 2020 by RealReality

[Bubbles1967]

I saw this on another site and I laughed out loud.

Edited April 22, 2020 by Bubbles1967

[AZChristian]

@Spike . . . Boy George is 58!!!

[Spike]

Just now, AZChristian said:

@Spike . . . Boy George is 58!!!

Yeah almost 59.  Culture Club released a soulful album about a year ago but it seems no one noticed.

[Spike]

The first hour of the next episode is now available on demand.

[bravofan27]

10 minutes ago, Spike said:

The first hour of the next episode is now available on demand.

I came here to find out! Thank you!!! :) The quarantine thing was dumb.

[Kyanight]

If elderly people are swindled out of their life savings by a scammer - is that the old person's fault for being so gullible?  So stupid and naive?  And the scammer has done nothing wrong, he's just pursuing his chosen profession and minding his own business to make a living - so he has done nothing illegal or wrong and should not be held accountable.  Too bad, so sad for the stupid old geezer/geezette?

 

[xls]

11 hours ago, Normades said:

 

I completely agree.  They are both at fault here.  He's a creep and she (or whoever is behind the curtain) kept things going knowing he was a creep.  Lana scheduled meetings with him and led him to believe she would be there.  Apparently, she even provided an address for her ticket on a cruise.  She has some responsibility.  If once it became clear that he was really making plans and coming to meet her she had told him that wasn't on the table, I could give her a pass, but she kept playing with fire. 

I hope it's some big, burly, pissed off Russian behind that door.  His face would be priceless!!

Or some little Russian granny in her babushka 

[OnceSane]

...from this David/Lana argument.  It's getting a little heated.

[TeacherWoman]

9 hours ago, Kangatush said:

We're getting a little serious.  Look!  A goat!

Glad you said that before someone gets ma-a-a-a-d.😉