S10.E15: "Forever or Never"

[Ohwell]

3 minutes ago, pdlinda said:

My thoughts entirely!

Thank Heavens this nightmare will soon be over so Meka can resume her life without that albatross, Michael, hung around her neck.  From what I see in him, NO JOB will ever work out for him and there will ALWAYS be "issues" regarding how he functions at home and in the workplace, so Meka RUNNNNNNNN!!!

Even though I think she'd still be an annoying motor mouth no matter who she's with, she didn't deserve to be matched with Michael.  She needs to be with someone who is truthful but who can also grill her when necessary.   See how she likes that. 

[pdlinda]

On 4/9/2020 at 9:42 PM, ECM1231 said:

Again, Team Austin. Jess needs to leave her boss hat at work, be a bit more flexible and less demanding. But last night I agreed with her. Being away 2/4 weeks monthly is tough.  She just needed to be heard by Austin, which imo he wasn't doing. Jmho

I think this match will never work UNTIL and UNLESS Austin understands and accepts the fact that Jess "runs the show" at home (and away).  That is her nature and personality and she apparently is in a highly compensated and respected position.  Chances are, she'll do a lot of the financial heavy lifting in the relationship, as well.  

There are several very long term marriages I know about that work exactly that way.  Each accepts and loves the other and each man understands and accepts the fact that the wife "runs the show."

[LaLaLaLa]

3 hours ago, qtpye said:

There are girls that are going to be lining up for Derek. So far he has been nothing but sweet, patient, and understanding. Add to all of this that he is not a bad looking guy and has a good job.

Katie is one of those women who rejects good guys in favor of stupid bad boys and then wonders why her life is miserable.

First part...yes.

Second part...Katie is already a miserable, conceited, stick up her ass, insufferable, childish See U Next Tuesday. She doesn't need any help from a bad boy (or anyone else) to be miserable. Furthermore, she doesn't deserve a good guy. It's best for good men (and for her) that she wind up with a "bad boy" to treat her the way she treats others.

I can't wait to see how she spins her "edit" on social media once she can speak. Then again, if she's smart, she'll never open her mouth in public again. However, someone with her attitude probably can't keep her mouth shut. Heck, even her family has essentially acknowledged that she is not a good person.

Edited April 11, 2020 by LaLaLaLa
Added missing word

[OnTime]

5 hours ago, Jeanne222 said:

Is Gregg still around?

He is the best guy that has been on this show, in my opinion. I wonder if he applied or was recruited?

The other top ones are  Anthony, Keith and Doug.

I just can't with Bobby. He just wanted it all too perfect.

[ReadMeLattice]

On 4/9/2020 at 9:43 PM, ShowFan said:

Jessica is in a state of limerence and wants to do everything with Austin 100% of the time. That will pass. She is just looking for validation of her feelings for him. When she says that she is upset he has to travel for work, all he has to do is say something like “ Oooh...that’s so cute..I’m flattered you’ll miss me and I’ll miss you too. We will make the most of the time we have together and who knows what the future will bring”. She is not asking him to leave his job, she is not saying his job is not important, she is just in the limerence zone. They are both very young and still rather immature so a very simple situation is getting out of hand. 

I agree, it was silly to get that seemingly upset over something out of his control but I don’t think it was some malicious attempt at controlling him. I think she just fell really hard and he seems like kind of a reserved guy, and she really just wanted him to say “baby I’ll miss you sooo much too” or something. She is head over heels for him and nervous about decision day. 

[Kiss my mutt]

Meka and Mindy deserve  do overs! Taylor and her wigs can just fuck off though. 
If Dereck were a little older I think he and Mindy could work out. 
 

Brandon and Michael have rocks they need to get back to. 

[gonecrackers]

2 hours ago, Ohwell said:

Even though I think she'd still be an annoying motor mouth no matter who she's with, she didn't deserve to be matched with Michael.  She needs to be with someone who is truthful but who can also grill her when necessary.   See how she likes that. 

I think she'd do well with that as she seems like a straight shooter who appreciates frank, open dialogue. I've been very impressed with her listening skills & ability to cut through Michael's BS. His ramblings would've had me zoning out with eyes crossed in under a minute, & no way would I have stuck it out for very long, never mind the full 8 weeks.

She's got a lot to offer the right guy. Hopefully she can find someone who can offer her as much & more.

[Neurochick]

1 hour ago, Kiss my mutt said:

Brandon and Michael have rocks they need to get back to. 

It would not surprise me if Brandon and Michael, sadly, will have many women wanting to be with them.  The man who wrote the book, "Is Marriage for White People?" was on the money with his analysis.  He basically said there are more black women with college and higher education and good jobs, than black men.  This means that black men have very little competition and many black women want, "nothing but a black man." 

I think that everybody who is picked for this show should be made to watch about 5 episodes of "Naked and Afraid."  Why?  Quiet as it's kept, that show is a very interesting show about how people work together, or don't.  Two people strip down and have to survive for 21 days.  Even though they strip down clothes wise, many of them are still carrying the suitcases of past relationships, or how this person treated them and "you're not going to treat me like that, you're not my father/mother/ex/boss."  That's what is wrong with Katie.  She has so much baggage that she doesn't realize Derek is a good guy.  She's finding fault because she's carrying too many suitcases.

I wish the experts had convinced Meka to unload Michael.  Even if they stay together, they won't last and this relationship will be a suitcase for Meka to carry around.  The next man she meets she'll be like, "Is he lying to me?  How do know he's telling me the truth?"

7 hours ago, Liberty said:

Black Power Michael's

Why are you calling him "Black Power Michael?"

I also think Brandon was right for leaving because the producers are as shady as fuck and wanted Brandon because they didn't want to only have to film three couples, the producers aren't fooling me.  Brandon's a fool because he played right into their hands, "let's show the 'Angry Black Man."

Edited April 11, 2020 by Neurochick

[MajorNelson]

"Black Power" was on his T-shirt at the retreat.

[MajorNelson]

1 hour ago, Neurochick said:

This means that black men have very little competition and many black women want, "nothing but a black man." 

That was an interesting comment, so I looked through the Amazon listing and comments for further understanding, and I think the point is that the (not so many) college-educated black men are in high demand by (college educated) black women.

Edited April 11, 2020 by MajorNelson

[Neurochick]

8 minutes ago, MajorNelson said:

That was an interesting comment, so I looked through the Amazon listing and comments for further understanding, and I think the point is that the (not so many) college-educated black men are in high demand by (college educated) black women.

Which is why a lot of black men have very little competition and can take their own sweet time getting serious with anybody. 

[cinsays]

2 hours ago, Kiss my mutt said:

If Dereck were a little older I think he and Mindy could work out. 
 

 

yes, I agree, both very nice and happy sort of people, but, yeah, she is a few years too old and too mature for him 

[DrewPaul2010]

28 minutes ago, cinsays said:

yes, I agree, both very nice and happy sort of people, but, yeah, she is a few years too old and too mature for him 

I think she fancies herself a baby girl and wants a disciplining daddy dom to spank her butt when she misbehaves.

[DrewPaul2010]

2 hours ago, Neurochick said:

I think that everybody who is picked for this show should be made to watch about 5 episodes of "Naked and Afraid."  Why?  Quiet as it's kept, that show is a very interesting show about how people work together, or don't.  Two people strip down and have to survive for 21 days.  Even though they strip down clothes wise, many of them are still carrying the suitcases of past relationships, or how this person treated them and "you're not going to treat me like that, you're not my father/mother/ex/boss."  That's what is wrong with Katie.  She has so much baggage that she doesn't realize Derek is a good guy.  She's finding fault because she's carrying too many suitcases.

 I had an idea for Naked and afraid send engaged couples out for two weeks to survive. If they make it and still want to get married then they pay for a nice wedding and honey moon. If they're are any fatal flaws they'll come out.

You're right about Derek if he or Katie taps out his phone will be ringing off the hook with prospects. Now that might be a dream.

Did anyone see that show where two previous MAFS people who failed to meet the one called second chances I think. I couldn't keep my eyes off the show but at the same time I found it creepy. On one episode he herds a bunch of woman in a room and cuts them loose. 

 

[Neurochick]

38 minutes ago, DrewPaul2010 said:

I had an idea for Naked and afraid send engaged couples out for two weeks to survive. If they make it and still want to get married then they pay for a nice wedding and honey moon. If they're are any fatal flaws they'll come out.

I think that's a very good idea.  On that show you really see how people get along, or don't. 

[gingerandcloves]

My predictions for Decision Day:

Brandon - no, Taylor - no

Zach - no, Mindy - no

Michael - no, Meka - no

Derek - yes, Katie - yes, but she'll be on the fence about it

Austin - yes, Jessica - yes

[Kira53]

1 minute ago, gingerandcloves said:

My predictions for Decision Day:

Brandon - no, Taylor - no

Zach - no, Mindy - no

Michael - no, Meka - no

Derek - yes, Katie - yes, but she'll be on the fence about it

Austin - yes, Jessica - yes

Is there anyone that disagrees with that prediction?  Stevie Wonder could see that result coming.

[Ohwell]

4 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

I think she'd do well with that as she seems like a straight shooter who appreciates frank, open dialogue. I've been very impressed with her listening skills & ability to cut through Michael's BS. His ramblings would've had me zoning out with eyes crossed in under a minute, & no way would I have stuck it out for very long, never mind the full 8 weeks.

She's got a lot to offer the right guy. Hopefully she can find someone who can offer her as much & more.

Yes, she's a straight shooter who appreciates frank, open dialogue but I still haven't seen any warmth about her.   Of course, I'm not talking about Michael but I haven't seen her loosen up around anyone else but Taylor.  I don't see her as being warm or forgiving if someone makes a mistake or says something wrong (not a lie).  I wouldn't want her as a friend.

[gonecrackers]

1 hour ago, Ohwell said:

Yes, she's a straight shooter who appreciates frank, open dialogue but I still haven't seen any warmth about her.   Of course, I'm not talking about Michael but I haven't seen her loosen up around anyone else but Taylor.  I don't see her as being warm or forgiving if someone makes a mistake or says something wrong (not a lie).  I wouldn't want her as a friend.

I couldn’t say as this show isn’t about how they handle friendship so not enough shown to really judge. What I did see didn’t show any red flags. She even hugged Jessica after the retreat & didn’t want to let go (probably cuz she’d have to go home with Michael). 

Also regarding warmth, she’s held the dude’s hand, slept in the same bed, tried to comfort him when he wept, & even made amends to him for not being compassionate enough in his family loss - which was more than he deserved with all the BS she’s had to deal with for a very long 8 weeks.  Geez just not slapping the shit out of him & the producers was showing warmth IMO. 

[princelina]

 

15 hours ago, Sterling said:

Here's what I wish:  I wish Pastor Cal would pull Meka aside once this is over and do a separate "find Meka a great guy" show.  Heck, I wish they'd do this for Mindy and Derek too.  Find the good ones, a good partner.  (FWIW, for all the snark Pastor Cal receives, I'm in the solitary camp of "love him").

They already did it for Vanessa and David - who most people liked beforehand and ended up disliking/hating by the end 😄 The best thing for them is to go out and make the most of their 15 minutes by meeting those people who thought they were great on the show! 

10 hours ago, Ohwell said:

Even though I think she'd still be an annoying motor mouth no matter who she's with, she didn't deserve to be matched with Michael.  She needs to be with someone who is truthful but who can also grill her when necessary.   See how she likes that. 

People who aren't big fat liars don't need to be grilled because they answer questions honestly the first time.

9 hours ago, pdlinda said:

There are several very long term marriages I know about that work exactly that way.  Each accepts and loves the other and each man understands and accepts the fact that the wife "runs the show."

*Raises hand* 😄 

7 hours ago, Neurochick said:

Brandon's a fool because he played right into their hands, "let's show the 'Angry Black Man."

To me he just looks like the Angry Alcoholic.

3 hours ago, Kira53 said:

Is there anyone that disagrees with that prediction?  Stevie Wonder could see that result coming.

My only caveat is that Michael could possibly say yes because he's never been happier and looks forward to many years more of working at this marriage.  😄 

[Jeanne222]

Heck I'm still wondering if Michael's uncle really did die!!!

[Meowwww]

11 minutes ago, Jeanne222 said:

Heck I'm still wondering if Michael's uncle really did die!!!

Me too!

[humbleopinion]

In weirdo twists of fate Meka and Michael will probably be friendly...friends may be too much of a stretch....after their marriage because she has (Under the terms of her MAFS contract) spent a lot time with him and experienced first hand his compulsion to lie and puff himself up.

For better and worse, she experienced up close and personal his bald faced lies, the silences, the bizarro gesticulations, facial and speech tics, the hot tears of shame, the whole ball of crazy wax when he was caught in his latest fibbing extravaganza...she can read his “tells.”

His continuous unemployment during the filming most likely amplified his behaviors so she got the full liar charade and then the inevitable crumbling of the facade.....

Hopes Meka asks on the Decision Day couch if Michael made up Ocho Rios as a Hail Mary pass to get her to have sex with him....his flustered and convoluted answer will be worth watching the other dreary 89 minutes of the show.

Same for Mindy and Zach....Because she is that generous of a person who will forgive her asshaired huzzy....Zach, of course will word scramble his excuses, blame everyone except himself, word diarrhea to deflect about his side friendship with the hussy who won’t be named....it will be Zach’s grab for attention and sympathy at D Day....

Edited April 12, 2020 by humbleopinion

[Hangin Out]

14 hours ago, Kira53 said:

Is there anyone that disagrees with that prediction?  Stevie Wonder could see that result coming.

Derek .. No.   Katy ..yes.   How could he love her or see potential after only six weeks, unless he’s stupid and immature?   Maybe I answered my own question.

Edited April 12, 2020 by Silver Bells

[Kira53]

53 minutes ago, humbleopinion said:

In weirdo twists of fate Meka and Michael will probably be friendly...friends may be too much of a stretch....after their marriage because she has (Under the terms of her MAFS contract) spent a lot time with him and experienced first hand his compulsion to lie and puff himself up.

For better and worse, she experienced up close and personal his bald faced lies, the silences, the bizarro gesticulations, facial and speech tics, the hot tears of shame, the whole ball of crazy wax when he was caught in his latest fibbing extravaganza...she can read his “tells.”

His continuous unemployment during the filming most likely amplified his behaviors so she got the full liar charade and then the inevitable crumbling of the facade.....

Hopes Meka asks on the Decision Day couch if Michael made up Ocho Rios as a Hail Mary pass to get her to have sex with him....his flustered and convoluted answer will be worth watching the other dreary 89 minutes of the show.

Same for Mindy and Zach....Because she is that generous of a person who will forgive her asshaired huzzy....Zach, of course will word scramble his excuses, blame everyone except himself, word diarrhea to deflect about his side friendship with the hussy who won’t be named....it will be Zach’s grab for attention and sympathy at D Day....

These are pernicious, toxic relationships and there is no reason for these women to interact with these men ever again.  No children, no joint friends and both are gaslighters and liars. Friends don't treat friends this way, so they were never friends.  Forgive or not, but stay away from them now that they are not bound by a contract.  These men will try to make the woman to blame for what happened and no one needs that.  I don't see Meka or Mindy experiencing any twists of fate to feel sorry for them enough to interact with them post production.

[Lindz]

On 4/8/2020 at 5:12 PM, Brooklynista said:

AND he snatched the good lunch. Asshole.

Hey.. All his life he had to fight. 😉😂

Edited April 13, 2020 by Lindz

[Lindz]

On 4/8/2020 at 5:11 PM, Suzy Rhapsody said:

Lifelong East Coaster/Marylander, so I would recognize that turtle anywhere.  But come on, guys.  You remove it from its habitat to “save it?”  *sigh* 🤦‍♀️

 

On 4/8/2020 at 6:26 PM, ShowFan said:

That made me so angry, I’d have punched her face if she was in front of me. Enslaving a perfectly happy animal is not saving it. That turtle has a beautiful home in the wild and doesn’t need “saving.” I’m glad they set the turtle free but omg I was literally homicidal. 

EXACTLY!! They "SAVED" a turtle? NO! They abducted a WILD turtle to keep as a pet. That is WRONG! So RIDICULOUS! Nature isn't a free "pet" store to steal animals from! Glad they figured out they couldn't keep it & released it before it was too late. Shouldn't have taken it in the first place!

Edited April 12, 2020 by Lindz

[Lindz]

On 4/8/2020 at 8:43 PM, humbleopinion said:

Michael pulls the death card....what a jack hole.

Michael criticizing Meka for lack of compassion during his grief. 
To her credit, she did apologize.

EXACTLY!! I mean, some people can ignore bad feelings & be supportive to their partner in their time of need. Some people can't. Some people like Meka. I get it. It's understandable. Yes, his explanation made sense, but it's IMPOSSIBLE for certain types to be that big a person when so much DISTANCE & DISCOMFORT has been created. So UNFAIR! HOW MANY times does she have to comfort that man when she can't even trust his words, much less to be vulnerable like that? COME ON!! HOW BOUT THAT MICHAEL?!!

Edited April 12, 2020 by Lindz

[sasha206]

19 hours ago, Neurochick said:

I also think Brandon was right for leaving because the producers are as shady as fuck and wanted Brandon because they didn't want to only have to film three couples, the producers aren't fooling me.  Brandon's a fool because he played right into their hands, "let's show the 'Angry Black Man."

Is that what they were going for? We've seen black men on this show not act as the "Angry Black Man."  The onus is squarely on Brandon, not the production crew.  

[Palomar]

RE Michael.  

He is a compulsive liar and has obviously been doing it for so long he doesn't think twice about it. Plus no one in is family has ever been married (at least that is what he said earlier, right?) so he has no role model for how marriage works.  He is far from being ready for marriage even with intensive therapy.  

RE Brandon.

He seems to be bi-polar with a LOT of issues.  If he is acting like this now it will only get worse after "real" marriage. Taylor (or any wife he has) will always have to walk on egg shells (and have to figure out what sets him off) and never know from one day to another which Brandon will show up.  Not an easy life.  There is no excuse for how he treats the MAFS staff. He should have been axed right after his tirade in Jamaica.

 

[Lindz]

On 4/9/2020 at 10:40 AM, DrewPaul2010 said:

Derek entering building. Derek voice over: "I don't wanna be another statistic. I don't wanna be just another marriage that ends up in divorce." Derek, sitting in chair, touching ring. "This is the biggest decision I've ever had to make."

He shouldn't remain married just to avoid being divorced. Millions of couples stay in a lifeless joyless marriage to avoid divorcing. I've known quite a few couples who found 'the one' in the third marriage.

Agree. Derek is too sold on the dream of Katie being his "perfect match," to his detriment. Poor fool. Katie does NOT accept him. He is UNCOMFORTABLE & UNHAPPY in his marriage. ISSA WRAP!!

[Lindz]

On 4/9/2020 at 6:43 PM, ShowFan said:

Jessica is in a state of limerence and wants to do everything with Austin 100% of the time. That will pass. She is just looking for validation of her feelings for him. When she says that she is upset he has to travel for work, all he has to do is say something like “ Oooh...that’s so cute..I’m flattered you’ll miss me and I’ll miss you too. We will make the most of the time we have together and who knows what the future will bring”. She is not asking him to leave his job, she is not saying his job is not important, she is just in the limerence zone. They are both very young and still rather immature so a very simple situation is getting out of hand. 

Yeah!! Like. Awwww. They're BOTH in their feels & IGNORING each other's!! They SHOULD'VE said: Jessica: I feel you didn't communicate adequately to inform me how much you'll be away and I'm sad it's so much. Austin: I APOLOGIZE for not adequately communicating with you, I will try to better inform you. Idk what to say about her being sad... maybe: I wish I didn't have to travel as much because I would rather be with you. THEN. Austin: I feel attacked & unsupported by this constantly being brought up as an issue. Jessica: It is a concern, but we will make it through. I forgive & support you. ☺

[Lindz]

F Michael & his weird silent treatment!! I CAN'T STAND SELFISH people like that. Others are NOT on YOUR terms & time. Meka shoulda ignored his dumbass, but she's not rude like that. 😂 But ya, do it right back or school em. That'll learn em! DON'T let them do it!! I'm confrontational & would ask, "WTF are you doing?!" It wouldn't get to that point tho. He woulda had to ride home with production after leaving the kitchen without greeting her. Meka kept her cool til he was ready, then let him have it! 😂

[Lindz]

WRITING'S ON THE WALL!!!! Pastor Cal talking about helping Taylor find the right man on Unfiltered. Katie shutting down Derek's "never give up on making it work & always be a team." DAMN!! It's OVER!! Hey, you know I'm all for the HONESTY. Only 1 couple should say yes. 😅

[Neurochick]

1 hour ago, sasha206 said:

Is that what they were going for? We've seen black men on this show not act as the "Angry Black Man."  The onus is squarely on Brandon, not the production crew.  

The producers were going for drama.  If Taylor and Brandon had both bailed, they would have been stuck having to film 3 couples. 

59 minutes ago, Lindz said:

WRITING'S ON THE WALL!!!! Pastor Cal talking about helping Taylor find the right man on Unfiltered. Katie shutting down Derek's "never give up on making it work & always be a team." DAMN!! It's OVER!! Hey, you know I'm all for the HONESTY. Only 1 couple should say yes. 😅

Pastor Cal is going to help Taylor find her next reality show gig. 

[Mrs. Button]

Quote

Brandon's a fool because he played right into their hands, "let's show the 'Angry Black Man."

He's a fool for many, many reasons, but not that. First and foremost is signing up to be on a reality show, then getting antagonistic with the crew because you are really a "private person" (or is it life of the party — that had to be a production inside joke, right?). There's just so much not thinking things through. I want to have empathy for him, but ugh, it's really hard. I can see Taylor is most likely on the vapid, fame-seeking side of things, but to me that pales next to the mean-spirited personality that is Brandon. H

Quote

Also regarding warmth, she’s held the dude’s hand, slept in the same bed, tried to comfort him when he wept, & even made amends to him for not being compassionate enough in his family loss - which was more than he deserved with all the BS she’s had to deal with for a very long 8 weeks.  Geez just not slapping the shit out of him & the producers was showing warmth IMO. 

It's not my place to diagnose Michael. I'm not a mental health professional. But it's rich to see Meka being attacked, over and over, for her brittle, pained response to being married to someone with, at the very least, severe problems with the truth and basic accountability. (I would be far less patient, especially if I was her age). I feel really bad for both of them for different reasons. He needs professional care, and she needs someone who can actually be present and a companion in a marriage (vunnable if you will). But somehow the way she talks is the problem.

[sasha206]

1 hour ago, Neurochick said:

The producers were going for drama.  If Taylor and Brandon had both bailed, they would have been stuck having to film 3 couples. 

Pastor Cal is going to help Taylor find her next reality show gig. 

Of course.  But drama doesn't = going for Angry Black Male.  

[sasha206]

13 minutes ago, Mrs. Button said:

He's a fool for many, many reasons, but not that. First and foremost is signing up to be on a reality show, then getting antagonistic with the crew because you are really a "private person" (or is it life of the party — that had to be a production inside joke, right?). 

It's not my place to diagnose Michael. I'm not a mental health professional. But it's rich to see Meka being attacked, over and over, for her brittle, pained response to being married to someone with, at the very least, severe problems with the truth and basic accountability. 

Amen, esp. on both of these.  I've been amazed at the treatment Meka has gotten here by some. My God, this is a man -- a stranger -- who gave her a sex on the honeymoon ultimatum.  And then denied he ever said that. That's the first of the lies she's had to deal with.

He's not even being a smart liar.  He could've said, "I was just joking and you took it the wrong way."  He flat out denied he said that.  

 

[Lindz]

AH HA!! He does love Jessica, but wouldn't say it cuz he's SCARED!! I HOPE he told her that!! She's his WIFE!! GEEZ! COMMUNICATION!! He should try to TRUST her, that it's SAFE to share! 😂

[Lindz]

So WEIRD when spouses don't walk the other out when they leave for the solo pre-Decision Day evening. Then again, Iris didn't want to let Keith leave & he was gone LONG BEFORE then. Damn Keith! 😂

[Lindz]

WHERE is the DEPTH?? PLEASE FOLLOW-UP!! KILLS ME!! 😂 For example: HOW has Michael carried the marriage? HOW has Meka? B & C+?? HOW??EXPLAIN YOURSELVES!! Like EVERYONE lacks it & it could create so much more UNDERSTANDING!!

[Lindz]

Katie & Derek seem like the biggest toss up. Seems like he's gunna say yes & she's gunna say no. Maybe that'll change. The opposite would be better. If Michael says no, he LIED once again. NOTHING NEW! 😂 Meka is playing along, but seems like she knows she should say no. I can't see Brandon saying yes, he's CRAZY!! WHY is he hanging out with her?? Taylor is playing. She knows she's had enough & just wanted to make it to Decision Day.

[configdotsys]

It makes me crazy to see what people will put up with. I mean, look at these people. You have Meka saying during the retreat, "I didn't come here to get a divorce." Meaning, after ALL that shit that Michael has done, she's still willing to try to hold on. You have Mindy taking entirely too long to dump Zach and when she did, it was tearful. I mean, really? How about standing up for yourself? 

Last season, we watched Stephanie tiptoe around an oversize, infantile toddler that threw tantrums when he did not get his way and was very nasty to her. There should have been a big balloon baby in a diaper of himself floating around. And Stephanie kept him. And now they're in "counseling." Just what I'd want: a year into the marriage and we have to seek professional help to make it work. All because you are getting older and unable to find someone. So you settle for someone that's not compatible or so incompatible that in the period of time that the honeymoon should be going strong, you instead have to sit in a marriage counselor's office?

I did not see the season with Jepthe and Shawniece but have read that he cheated on her and she stayed with him. A couple of years later, they are on this new show coming and their blurb doesn't say something like, "They're enjoying life and raising their child, living in the suburbs..." and all that. It says, "they are continuing to work on their marriage." Meaning there are still problems and now there's a child involved.

I just don't get it.

[Neurochick]

2 hours ago, sasha206 said:

Of course.  But drama doesn't = going for Angry Black Male.  

Sure it does.  It's about producing drama.  No drama means the show is boring, more boring than it is. The producers had to lead with something.  I remember how they made Shelia look, come to find out she was angry because Nate had been cheating on her since they said "I do."

[Neurochick]

9 minutes ago, configdotsys said:

It makes me crazy to see what people will put up with. I mean, look at these people. You have Meka saying during the retreat, "I didn't come here to get a divorce." Meaning, after ALL that shit that Michael has done, she's still willing to try to hold on. You have Mindy taking entirely too long to dump Zach and when she did, it was tearful. I mean, really? How about standing up for yourself? 

Last season, we watched Stephanie tiptoe around an oversize, infantile toddler that threw tantrums when he did not get his way and was very nasty to her. There should have been a big balloon baby in a diaper of himself floating around. And Stephanie kept him. And now they're in "counseling." Just what I'd want: a year into the marriage and we have to seek professional help to make it work. All because you are getting older and unable to find someone. So you settle for someone that's not compatible or so incompatible that in the period of time that the honeymoon should be going strong, you instead have to sit in a marriage counselor's office?

I did not see the season with Jepthe and Shawniece but have read that he cheated on her and she stayed with him. A couple of years later, they are on this new show coming and their blurb doesn't say something like, "They're enjoying life and raising their child, living in the suburbs..." and all that. It says, "they are continuing to work on their marriage." Meaning there are still problems and now there's a child involved.

I just don't get it.

I do.  We STILL live in a society where there is more pressure on women to get married/have a partner, than it is on men.  There are more women in this country than men, men don't really have a biological clock; so men have less societal pressure than women do, even in the 21st century.  Meka, Mindy, Stephanie and Shawnice would rather be with someone than be alone, or maybe they feel there is no such thing as a perfect person and every person you meet is going to have this flaw or that one. 

I shared this before.  A friend of mine was dating a man who REALLY LIED to her about shit a person shouldn't lie about.  She did not kick him to the curb, she stayed with him, they got married and they were together "'till death do them part."  He really loved her and she loved him.  That made me realize that I don't know squat about anybody else's relationship and what they are willing to deal with.

Edited April 12, 2020 by Neurochick

[configdotsys]

2 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

I do.  We STILL live in a society where there is more pressure on women to get married/have a partner, than it is on men.  There are more women in this country than men, men don't really have a biological clock; so men have less societal pressure than women do, even in the 21st century.  Meka, Mindy, Stephanie and Shawnice would rather be with someone than be alone, or maybe they feel there is no such thing as a perfect person and every person you meet is going to have this flaw or that one. 

I totally get the no one is perfect thing. Some differences can be overcome and worked out. Kristine and Keith are a good example. He seemed a bit spoiled and lazy but that was because everything was handed to him. He seemed willing to work on that but you could tell it would be quite a change and perhaps they had a rough patch or two. That type of situation is worth trying to save because irritating as it seems, it's fixable. There was nothing fixable, to me, about the relationships that Meka, Mindy and Stephanie were put into.

 

[Neurochick]

2 minutes ago, configdotsys said:

I totally get the no one is perfect thing. Some differences can be overcome and worked out. Kristine and Keith are a good example. He seemed a bit spoiled and lazy but that was because everything was handed to him. He seemed willing to work on that but you could tell it would be quite a change and perhaps they had a rough patch or two. That type of situation is worth trying to save because irritating as it seems, it's fixable. There was nothing fixable, to me, about the relationships that Meka, Mindy and Stephanie were put into.

 

Some might not want to be with someone who is spoiled and lazy. 

Even though a relationship might not be acceptable to me, it means just that, it's not acceptable to ME.  I know I would not be with Michael because I don't like liars, but if that doesn't bother Meka, that's on her, same as Mindy and Stephanie.  I wouldn't be in any of those relationships but hey, that's me.

[configdotsys]

48 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

Some might not want to be with someone who is spoiled and lazy. 

Even though a relationship might not be acceptable to me, it means just that, it's not acceptable to ME.  I know I would not be with Michael because I don't like liars, but if that doesn't bother Meka, that's on her, same as Mindy and Stephanie.  I wouldn't be in any of those relationships but hey, that's me.

My point was, if it was a choice between someone who was spoiled and lazy simply because that was their life, but wanted to marry and contribute fairly, that's a lot easier to work with and is more easily worked out than a person who lies or acts like a ticking time bomb. 

And good for you that you'd not be in those relationships, but we're here to talk about the people on the show and give our commentary on what's going on there. This forum would be mighty boring if everyone, every week simply posted: "I hate [person], but if [person] is okay with them being a jerk, then that's fine." 

[Empress1]

1 hour ago, configdotsys said:

It makes me crazy to see what people will put up with. I mean, look at these people. You have Meka saying during the retreat, "I didn't come here to get a divorce." Meaning, after ALL that shit that Michael has done, she's still willing to try to hold on. You have Mindy taking entirely too long to dump Zach and when she did, it was tearful. I mean, really? How about standing up for yourself? 

Last season, we watched Stephanie tiptoe around an oversize, infantile toddler that threw tantrums when he did not get his way and was very nasty to her. There should have been a big balloon baby in a diaper of himself floating around. And Stephanie kept him. And now they're in "counseling." Just what I'd want: a year into the marriage and we have to seek professional help to make it work. All because you are getting older and unable to find someone. So you settle for someone that's not compatible or so incompatible that in the period of time that the honeymoon should be going strong, you instead have to sit in a marriage counselor's office?

I did not see the season with Jepthe and Shawniece but have read that he cheated on her and she stayed with him. A couple of years later, they are on this new show coming and their blurb doesn't say something like, "They're enjoying life and raising their child, living in the suburbs..." and all that. It says, "they are continuing to work on their marriage." Meaning there are still problems and now there's a child involved.

I just don't get it.

I actually don’t think there’s anything wrong with counseling, or with saying you’re continuing to work on a marriage. All relationships take effort to maintain - I work hard to be a good friend, daughter, and sister, for example. I think especially with these relationships where there’s no foundation, they should ALL be in some kind of counseling for the first six months to a year, and the show doesn’t count. I know people and couples who view counseling as more of a maintenance thing, rather than a “fix something broken” thing.

I would rather be single than be with a lot of men who’ve been on this show (and some of the women have been shitty too, but I’m straight) but I know a lot of women who settled because they just wanted to be married (as Stephanie said repeatedly throughout her season), and especially if they wanted to have kids. There’s more social stigma for a childless never-married woman than for a divorced woman.

With Mindy, I think part of the reluctance to end it & the tears at the end was the “I told you so” factor. She didn’t want her family to be right re: not supporting her doing the show. She said she was embarrassed that they were right in the episode where she ended it. I also think some of it might be embarrassment that this played out on TV, and maybe anger that she has a friend who’d go behind her back. I mean, fuck Zach, she didn’t even know him, but she’s known her friend for years. I’d be way, way more hurt by that than the end of a “marriage” like hers.

[luckylou]

7 hours ago, sasha206 said:

Is that what they were going for? We've seen black men on this show not act as the "Angry Black Man."  The onus is squarely on Brandon, not the production crew.  

We don’t know what went on off camera. Until I know the whole story, I make no judgments.  Remember there was a previous hubby who had problems with production... can’t remember his name, but he and his wife did show up on one couples couch.  While Brandon did lose his temper on the honeymoon show, at the blow up at the “retreat,” he seemed cool and deliberately taunting.  A very controlled angry man.