S04.E04: Baby Be Mine

[OnceSane]

Quote

Usman surprises Lisa, Darcey faces the truth, and Avery & Ash finally meet. Meanwhile, Stephanie puts her health at risk to travel to Australia, and David makes plans to go to Ukraine.

Airs March 15, 2020.

[Spike]

Oh David.  

[Kangatush]

56 minutes ago, Spike said:

Oh David.  

I can't.  He's going to do the, "Yes, mmmmm", bullshit isn't he?

[mamadrama]

I think men (and some women) prefer David's setup when it's all said and done. They enjoy the illusion of a relationship, but they don't have to put anything into it (besides money). My mom's like this. They typically "date" someone at a distance: long phone calls, weepy letters and messages, pictures, and the honor of getting to "claim" that person to others. Yet they don't have to worry about where to eat, fighting over the covers, getting really jealous, etc. The relationship becomes more symbolic than anything and they can mold that person, in their minds, into whatever they want. 

Or David could just be an actor, like Caesar, and all of this is fake. 

I respected Big Ed a little more in this one because, unlike certain women beaters in Russia, he didn't expect her to sleep with him right away. He even gave her a T-shirt to help her feel more comfortable and he appeared to have some sober reflections on her financial situation. So I'll try to withhold more judgment until I've seen more shit from him. 

He doesn't get a pass from me just for being short and neckless, though. Anyone can be a jerk-including disabled folks. Reminds me of the "Golden Girls" episode where Blanche is dating a guy in a wheelchair. When he turns out to be married she says something like how she thought he was a wonderful man who just happened to be sitting down and that it never dawned on her that he could be "a jerk in a wheelchair." So I gotta judge Ed like he has a neck and about 5 more inches on him. I have softened, though. 

[Baltimore Betty]

7 hours ago, Kangatush said:

I can't.  He's going to do the, "Yes, mmmmm", bullshit isn't he?

A real wordsmith that one is, eh?

[Kangatush]

4 hours ago, mamadrama said:

I think men (and some women) prefer David's setup when it's all said and done. They enjoy the illusion of a relationship, but they don't have to put anything into it (besides money). My mom's like this. They typically "date" someone at a distance: long phone calls, weepy letters and messages, pictures, and the honor of getting to "claim" that person to others. Yet they don't have to worry about where to eat, fighting over the covers, getting really jealous, etc. The relationship becomes more symbolic than anything and they can mold that person, in their minds, into whatever they want. 

I think that's basically what Stacey has with Florian.  Security, the ability to lord it over Darcey, sex when she decides to visit...  A few shows back someone asked if her ring was real.  I'm sure it is.  The best her own money could buy.  It's been like what, 6 years, they'll never actually marry.

41 minutes ago, Baltimore Betty said:

A real wordsmith that one is, eh?

Sadly, it reminds me of when I was like 13-14, the internet was new, and guys from India thought American women over the age of 10 were all sluts, and would speak to us accordingly.

[Kangatush]

I want to date Varya.  If I dated women.  She's adorable.  And I am so not making fun of his dead son, but did Geoffrey say his name was Chasm?  What a horrendous name.  Would his twin have been Gorge?  I will freely admit to judging people on baby names.

[Kangatush]

4 hours ago, mamadrama said:

I respected Big Ed a little more in this one because, unlike certain women beaters in Russia, he didn't expect her to sleep with him right away. He even gave her a T-shirt to help her feel more comfortable and he appeared to have some sober reflections on her financial situation. So I'll try to withhold more judgment until I've seen more shit from him. 

And I respect him less because he told her he wanted to go slow, but he told the cameras he  wanted her to be tested first. 

And he so looked like he'd picked up a prostitute, checking into the hotel with a local in a nice dress with no luggage.

[Zevious Zoquis]

16 minutes ago, Kangatush said:

And I respect him less because he told her he wanted to go slow, but he told the cameras he  wanted her to be tested first. 

 

yeah, that pretty much killed the notion that he was being a gentleman there.  He's a germaphobe and his choosing to "take things slow" had nothing to do with respecting her and everything to do with making sure she's clean before he does the nasty with/to her.  

[Kangatush]

Poor Silva twins, getting stuck with the heaviest robes in the world that need to be pushed down indoors.

[EastCoast4Life]

Watching Babygirl Lisa bask in the afterglow with Usman was... something that I can never un-see. She had to show him how to do oral sex ya'll. I'm dead.  

[Kareem]

ITA re BabyGirl.  Lisa and Ed, for me, are the most cringeworthy people I've seen on tv in a long while, and I know the moment they open their mouths something gross will come out.  Lisa makes Angela look refined.  Painful to watch either of them. 

Edited March 12, 2020 by Kareem
*look refined, not like refined. Voice text. 🙄

[DEL901]

33 minutes ago, EastCoast4Life said:

Watching Babygirl Lisa bask in the afterglow with Usman was... something that I can never un-see. She had to show him how to do oral sex ya'll. I'm dead.  

Ugh!  I feel your pain second-hand!!

Anyone know how I can see these early looks in Canada?  It tried the website, but the show wasn't viewable up here.  Thx!!

[Kangatush]

3 minutes ago, DEL901 said:

Anyone know how I can see these early looks in Canada?  It tried the website, but the show wasn't viewable up here.  Thx!!

You can try searching baby be mine 90 day fiancé on youtube.  It's there, but blocked in the US.  It might be viewable in Canada.

39 minutes ago, EastCoast4Life said:

Watching Babygirl Lisa bask in the afterglow with Usman was... something that I can never un-see. She had to show him how to do oral sex ya'll. I'm dead.  

I have the distinct feeling that since Mykul is all about the BJs, it was the lady kind of oral Usman was new to. 

[Baltimore Betty]

47 minutes ago, Kangatush said:

Poor Silva twins, getting stuck with the heaviest robes in the world that need to be pushed down indoors.

Well, we know that their boobs are their identity sooo….they got the giant fluffy robes pushed down so all can see that their bikini tops are too small.

[Zevious Zoquis]

10 minutes ago, DEL901 said:

Ugh!  I feel your pain second-hand!!

Anyone know how I can see these early looks in Canada?  It tried the website, but the show wasn't viewable up here.  Thx!!

they are pretty much always up within a day on youtube.  They do occasionally get shut down so you sometimes have to re-find them.  

[Spike]

2 hours ago, Kangatush said:

It's been like what, 6 years, they'll never actually marry.

How many years was Oprah engaged lol?

[BallisticNikki]

3 hours ago, Kangatush said:

I want to date Varya.  If I dated women.  She's adorable.  And I am so not making fun of his dead son, but did Geoffrey say his name was Chasm?  What a horrendous name.  Would his twin have been Gorge?  I will freely admit to judging people on baby names.

But it is spelled....Kazhem.😏

 

[Spike]

2 hours ago, DEL901 said:

Ugh!  I feel your pain second-hand!!

Anyone know how I can see these early looks in Canada?  It tried the website, but the show wasn't viewable up here.  Thx!!

You can use a free proxy that will assign you an ISP in the US.

[Lily247]

12 hours ago, mamadrama said:

I think men (and some women) prefer David's setup when it's all said and done. They enjoy the illusion of a relationship, but they don't have to put anything into it (besides money). My mom's like this. They typically "date" someone at a distance: long phone calls, weepy letters and messages, pictures, and the honor of getting to "claim" that person to others. Yet they don't have to worry about where to eat, fighting over the covers, getting really jealous, etc. The relationship becomes more symbolic than anything and they can mold that person, in their minds, into whatever they want. 

Or David could just be an actor, like Caesar, and all of this is fake. 

I respected Big Ed a little more in this one because, unlike certain women beaters in Russia, he didn't expect her to sleep with him right away. He even gave her a T-shirt to help her feel more comfortable and he appeared to have some sober reflections on her financial situation. So I'll try to withhold more judgment until I've seen more shit from him. 

He doesn't get a pass from me just for being short and neckless, though. Anyone can be a jerk-including disabled folks. Reminds me of the "Golden Girls" episode where Blanche is dating a guy in a wheelchair. When he turns out to be married she says something like how she thought he was a wonderful man who just happened to be sitting down and that it never dawned on her that he could be "a jerk in a wheelchair." So I gotta judge Ed like he has a neck and about 5 more inches on him. I have softened, though. 

Big Ed's intentions are completely self serving, he wants her to take an STD test before sleeping with her. 

[Kiss my mutt]

Ed is so naive and has no idea how this works. Such an idealist expecting Rose to like him and find him attractive. 
Did that David guy say he’d had been chatting with his “Natasha” for seven years? And he’s just now going to see her? He’s such a loser. 
 

 

[Zevious Zoquis]

43 minutes ago, Kiss my mutt said:

Ed is so naive and has no idea how this works. Such an idealist expecting Rose to like him and find him attractive. 
Did that David guy say he’d had been chatting with his “Natasha” for seven years? And he’s just now going to see her? He’s such a loser. 
 

 

She's already stood him up on 3 previous attempted meetings!  If it's true, he's one pathetic dude.

[RoxiP]

Geoffrey's other son with Kazhem's mom is Cayvan.  You can't make this stuff up.

[Kangatush]

19 minutes ago, RoxiP said:

Geoffrey's other son with Kazhem's mom is Cayvan.  You can't make this stuff up.

And their daughter Spelunk?  🙂

[RoxiP]

Just now, Kangatush said:

And their daughter Spelunk?  🙂

Apparently Geoffrey only spews out boy sperm to date.

[Kangatush]

47 minutes ago, Zevious Zoquis said:

She's already stood him up on 3 previous attempted meetings!  If it's true, he's one pathetic dude.

I think we established that on 7 years of ONLY pay by the minute conversation.

[Zevious Zoquis]

10 minutes ago, Kangatush said:

I think we established that on 7 years of ONLY pay by the minute conversation.

yeah, that's true.  We're achieving new levels of pathetic here...

[mamadrama]

2 hours ago, Lily247 said:

Big Ed's intentions are completely self serving, he wants her to take an STD test before sleeping with her. 

Yeah, but Lisa already set such a low bar this season with her wanting to go "raw" that I'm giving him a wider berth at this point. 

[mamadrama]

10 hours ago, Kangatush said:

And I respect him less because he told her he wanted to go slow, but he told the cameras he  wanted her to be tested first. 

And he so looked like he'd picked up a prostitute, checking into the hotel with a local in a nice dress with no luggage.

I think I'm being less critical of him because he's sandwiched between Pathetic Dave, Abusive Geoffrey, and Crazy Lisa. Competition is fierce this season for who's the worst. Regardless of his true intentions, the fact is Rosemarie went to sleep on their first night together and there was no hankypanky. Compared to Lisa (who jumped Use-Man in the car and got her gross on that first night) and Geoffrey (who tried to guilt trip Varya into sleeping with him), Ed and his STD test seem like the lesser of the evils. 

Come on now, guys. I'm not saying I LIKE the dude. I'm sure that by the time the second part airs I'll have plenty enough to bitch about. 

Edited March 12, 2020 by mamadrama

[Spike]

2 hours ago, Kiss my mutt said:

Ed is so naive and has no idea how this works. Such an idealist expecting Rose to like him and find him attractive. 
Did that David guy say he’d had been chatting with his “Natasha” for seven years? And he’s just now going to see her? He’s such a loser. 
 

 

And she stood him up three times.

1 hour ago, RoxiP said:

Apparently Geoffrey only spews out boy sperm to date.

Probably drowns the daughters.

[Kroliosis]

8 hours ago, Kangatush said:

I have the distinct feeling that since Mykul is all about the BJs, it was the lady kind of oral Usman was new to. 

😭😭🤮😷😷😭😭🤢😬

[Spike]

17 minutes ago, Kroliosis said:

😭😭🤮😷😷😭😭🤢😬

At least they like fish over there.

[Kroliosis]

35 minutes ago, Spike said:

At least they like fish over there.

Whyyyyy 😂😂😂😭😭😭

[Auntie Anxiety]

7 hours ago, BallisticNikki said:

But it is spelled....Kazhem.😏

 

Not to be confused with ShazZAM.

[humbleopinion]

No way Usman takes the bus downtown...especially as a first time passenger...

Lisa was the giver not the receiver...

Usman won't have to dive deep until he is in 'Merica and needs to earn his allowance....

Edited March 13, 2020 by humbleopinion

[Spike]

13 minutes ago, humbleopinion said:

No way Usman takes the bus downtown...especially as a first time passenger...

Lisa was the giver not the receiver...

Usman won't have to dive deep until he is in 'Merica and needs to earn his allowance....

If she removed her dentures it would be extra velvety.

Edited March 13, 2020 by Spike

[humbleopinion]

The other input is like throwing a hot dog down a hallway...

[Leilani]

11 hours ago, EastCoast4Life said:

Watching Babygirl Lisa bask in the afterglow with Usman was... something that I can never un-see. She had to show him how to do oral sex ya'll. I'm dead.  

When he said: 'she's at least 70" I thought he was implying her age until he added percent, 70 percent is fine with him. lol

[mmecorday]

Let me get this straight. Polo shirt addict David has spent over $100,000 in seven years just chatting with this alleged woman in Ukraine? What ... who ... I'm just speechless about that.

[Spike]

5 minutes ago, mmecorday said:

Let me get this straight. Polo shirt addict David has spent over $100,000 in seven years just chatting with this alleged woman in Ukraine? What ... who ... I'm just speechless about that.

It sounded like just typing chat lol.

[Kangatush]

1 hour ago, Leilani said:

When he said: 'she's at least 70" I thought he was implying her age until he added percent, 70 percent is fine with him. lol

This show has taught me that African men like percentages.

[Zevious Zoquis]

7 hours ago, Spike said:

It sounded like just typing chat lol.

Yeah, she refuses to take their "relationship" off the pay site!  She's too "nervous" and "shy!" 😂 I really hope it's all true.  That level of pathetic delusion is highly entertaining...

[Lily247]

9 hours ago, mmecorday said:

Let me get this straight. Polo shirt addict David has spent over $100,000 in seven years just chatting with this alleged woman in Ukraine? What ... who ... I'm just speechless about that.

I keep thinking that Lana is just some guy

[Baltimore Betty]

Why was Baby Love Lisa speaking with a broken English accent when she was showing Usman the condoms? 

 

[DEL901]

31 minutes ago, Lily247 said:

I keep thinking that Lana is just some guy

Snort!  If they've never spoken, "Lana" could be a bunch of different guys... whoever is on shift at the time they text.

[humbleopinion]

Lisa took on her version of a Nigerian speaking broken English to communicate more effectively with her lover...walls of words confuse if fluency is indeterminate ....

Lisa's gruff, smokey throated clipped phrasing will be frightening to Usman's Mommy because it reinforces her fears that this manly sounding, wrinkly old person wants to enslave her son...not marry him to be a husband

[Baltimore Betty]

Stacey always says how much Darcey has been thru, um...it is all self inflicted!  Also, Darcey's bikini top strap is working overtime to hold on.

Darcey saying that the girl in Tom's photo's is a Darcey look a like, no she is not.  I am betting that Tom tells Darcey those photos are from before he met her and she will cry over that.

Unicycle guy is just too stupid for words, even the Ukrainian woman sitting across from him is telling him it is a scam because she knows scams, (American husband sitting next to her says nothing).  Are those fancy RV's really $300,000 +?  Sadly I would still get bus sick but at least I could lie down for the ride.

Big Ed, oh dear.  If he did not look more like a "John" checking in to a hotel I don't know what does and what is the deal with the "My Queen," phrase, it seems to be a common phrase with all these 90 Dayer's, is there an English to stupid phrase they all use?  Also, Big Ed had a broken English moment at check in, his pronunciation of the word passport combined with his stupid smile annoyed me.

And, ha ha to Rose pretending to be sleeping.

All the men that I dated locally and the one from Philadelphia never proposed after a few conversations on the phone and I feel like a failure, lol.

[DiamondGirl]

On 3/12/2020 at 8:17 AM, Kangatush said:

Poor Silva twins, getting stuck with the heaviest robes in the world that need to be pushed down indoors.

And the spa!  It’s like Monte Carlo or Saint Tropez!  😑 No, it’s like a generic Marriott, plastic glasses included.

 

 

[charmed1]

On 3/12/2020 at 9:22 AM, EastCoast4Life said:

Watching Babygirl Lisa bask in the afterglow with Usman was... something that I can never un-see. She had to show him how to do oral sex ya'll. I'm dead.  

I’m right here with you. I’ve lived through Mohammed’s pleas for Danielle to visit a doctor for her “bad smell,” witnessed the disgusting pre and post coital bliss of Michael and Boss Hogg Angela, and watched in horror, the “jiggy-jiggy” of the ill-fated Jallalis. But nothing could’ve prepared me for the creature feature that was “Usman and The Thing that Came from York, PA.” I can’t even remember her name. I got an actual headache after watching that. If a carton of gas station Newports had a voice, it would be hers. Why did she show him the condoms after they had sex? Ugh, and I’d forgotten how nasty her suitcase is. I’m ill!

 

[kendi]

16 hours ago, Spike said:

If she removed her dentures it would be extra velvety.

We need a puke emoticon, stat!!!! Seriously, I felt the bile rising as I read that.