S09.E07: Where Is My Husband?

[Gem 10]

9 minutes ago, topanga said:

Deonna stated that during those 10 single years, she dated people that she had sex with too soon. And then she'd sometimes try to develop a friendship after the hook-up, but it wouldn't work. 

Maybe they just didn’t like her ways.  It happens.

[Neurochick]

11 hours ago, LennieBriscoe said:

Wow. Big E just completely messed up that bonding opportunity Jamie was offering. He wants her to believe in him and his oath, and she responds by cursing and telling him he's ruining her evening? 

Especially when she was telling him about their "boring Caucasian sex."  (everybody was laughing at that on Twitter)  Strange that Elizabeth is complaining about too much sex when she was the one on day two who went buck naked right in front of the camera crew.  She's a nutcase.  Jamie is no prize either, but he has a cat so IMO he wins. 😺

11 hours ago, Racj82 said:

I get the lemonade thing. Unless you are my parents, I don't like people running up in my fridge. Honestly, I usual eat and drink before I go to people's places. I don't like eating up people's groceries. A party is different but even then I would eat or drink what is out.

Wars have started and people have divorced because of different boundaries.  Maybe in Iris' home, guests don't go in the fridge and take stuff out.  It doesn't mean Iris is uptight and it doesn't mean Keith is wrong.  It just means they have different boundaries.  Iris should explain to Keith why she was taken aback and Keith should explain to Iris why to him it was no big deal.  

I do think Matt wanted to get married, but the problem with this show is what they, the show, believes that marriage means.  Some people get married and don't have kids and it's okay.  On this show though, a person might not be chosen if they say they don't want kids right away, so it encourages people to lie if they want to get on the show.  

I think this show is great, not a shit show at all IMO, because it shows why sometimes it might not be the best thing to do to have sex right away.  Amber scared me when she was crying so much over Matt.  She's married to Matt, but she barely knows him.  When Matt said he wanted to wait eight years for kids, Amber freaked out and then got clingy.  Deonna and Greg are right to wait, so are Keith and Iris.  You have to make sure the other person isn't crazy before you have sex.

The episode started off all boring but then DAMN.👧🏾

Edited July 25, 2019 by Neurochick

[ECM1231]

12 hours ago, Straycat80 said:

I couldn’t concentrate on the conversation between Greg and those guys I was watching Sandy looking so happy at the attention. I love Goldens! 

I kept thinking of Deonna's comment to Greg that Sandy dog is wary of men. That dog looked mighty comfortable with Greg's friend. His friend loving up on Sandy put a big ole smile on my face!

[Gem 10]

6 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

The episode started off all boring but then DAMN.👧🏾

I know, right?  So many things happening now, and getting interesting.  Here I thought it was a snooze fest. Haha.

[answerphone]

OMG, it's only lemonade, not the roast beef intended for dinner.

[Captain Asshat]

12 hours ago, 2727 said:

Jamie and Beth, ay yi yi. They both fight by lashing out with insults and low blows to hurt the other person.

You dared ask a question about my parents? I'm going to mock your lack of education and job with your father.

I think Jamie and Beth's fight was stupid and avoidable.

Beth was asking questions to get to know Jamie and his family better. It was a logical topic, since they'd spent the afternoon with his dad and step mom. He could have stopped his comments after he expressed that it was painful and he doesn't like to talk about it. IIRC, Beth apologized and stated she was just trying to get to know him, or something like that. Then he goes off on Beth and her working for her dad. 

I agree that Beth and her dad were a bit sketchy when answering questions about her job during the brunch. It sounds like this is a recent thing, and duties haven't been really outlined. You'd think if you're about to start a position somewhere, you and your boss would know what you're doing. But she is 30. It's safe to assume she's had other jobs before. Jamie could have asked, "So what have you done in the past, and why are you going to work for your dad now?" No. He went off on calling the job a handout and even put her down for not having finished her degree. And, to be fair, she put down the idea of a degree when put on the defensive. This is where the conversation went south, and neither of them looked good. Is the job nepotism? Definitely. But will she be performing an actual job function for the company? Still unknown. She did not express herself well and seemed really flustered, as if being interrogated. I totally get that. I am the same way and have that very issue with my current boss. But I digress. Anyway...for Jamie to call the job a "handout" was kind of uncalled for. It's completely possible to work for a parent and *earn* your paycheck, even if you got the job because it's Dad's business. Family businesses are things that exist. When she said she'd gotten a job offer for every position she's interviewed for, and he replied with "Was your dad the interviewer," it was just a dickish reply. At that point, I felt he had no respect for her and no interest in listening to anything she had to say. He just wanted to get some jabs in, and she did not respond well to that. Then again, who would?

Edited July 25, 2019 by Captain Asshat

[red12]

Deonna keeps saying that her dog doesn't take to men but, that dog was all about Greg in every scene and when his boys came over she was in their faces too. That dog's body language did not say "uncomfortable around testosterone".

Edited July 25, 2019 by red12

[Gem 10]

OMG .. Matt in the car driving with Amber and clenching his teeth over the having children conversation.  I thought he was going to jump out of the car and keep running.  He’s just about done with her, I think.

[Neurochick]

Iris, it's only Lemonade.

Edited July 25, 2019 by Neurochick

[red12]

4 minutes ago, Captain Asshat said:

I think Jamie and Beth's fight was stupid and avoidable.

Beth was asking questions to get to know Jamie and his family better. It was a logical topic, since they'd spent the afternoon with his dad and step mom. He could have stopped his comments after he expressed that it was painful and he doesn't like to talk about it. IIRC, Beth apologized and stated she was just trying to get to know him, or something like that. Then he goes off on Beth and her working for her dad. 

I agree that Beth and her dad were a bit sketchy when answering questions about her job during the brunch. It sounds like this is a recent thing, and duties haven't been really outlined. You'd think if you're about to start a position somewhere, you and your boss would know what you're doing. But she is 30. It's safe to assume she's had other jobs before. Jamie could have asked, "So what have you done in the past, and why are you going to work for your dad now?" No. He went off on calling the job a handout and even put her down for not having finished her degree. This is where the conversation went south, and neither of them looked good. Is the job nepotism? Definitely. But will she be performing an actual job function for the company? Still unknown. She did not express herself well and seemed really flustered, as if being interrogated. I totally get that. I am the same way and have that very issue with my current boss. But I digress. Anyway...for Jamie to call the job a "handout" was kind of uncalled for. It's completely possible to work for a parent and *earn* your paycheck, even if you got the job because it's Dad's business. Family businesses are things that exist. When she said she'd gotten a job offer for every position she's interviewed for, and he replied with "Was your dad the interviewer," it was just a dickish reply. At that point, I felt he had no respect for her and no interest in listening to anything she had to say. He just wanted to get some jabs in, and she did not respond well to that. Then again, who would?

It seemed to me that Jamie had previously talked to Beth about the sensitive nature of his parent's break up. He referred to a previous conversation I assume occurred off camera so, that made me wonder if production may have been involved in her bringing up on camera. It was obvious he was triggered and is a person who lashes out to make the other person hurt when he feels angry.

The second conversation after the flowers started out okay to me. I didn't see anything wrong with him trying to initiate a conversation. But, I was surprised Beth didn't have any kind of answer to the job question since it was no surprise her life was being filmed. I mean if you want to collect a check from dad, fine. It's just strange to me that you don't even have a Bachelor level employment description ready for camera time. That's just dumb.

From there things went downhill and they both were pretty immature. I took the "Caucasian sex"  comment as Beth having a limited vocabulary or temporary loss for words under pressure and was meaning to express that Jamie only does "vanilla" or "missionary" sex. This is where I felt the previous edits of the show were lacking. There was no context for this level of blow-up even though I think it was inevitable.

[Ki-in]

Team Iris but...she should have let it go until they all left and then had a discussion with Keith  Their home is not a frat house or bachelor pad where guys can just crash and forage in the fridge like wild bears. If she doesn't set limits she will have a revolving door of hungry men and an empty fridge.

[topanga]

9 hours ago, talktoomuch said:

Whether you agree with Iris or Keith in Lemonadegate, there is no dispute that Keith is the coolest arguer on earth.

A "situationship" is a more long-term version of a hookup in which one or more of the parties exhibits couple-like behavior, but they are never an official couple.

I loved it when Iris went on a tirade about how she wished his friends would respect their boundaries as a married couple. And Keith quietly adds, "About juice?"

The editing shows the glaring contrast between Iris/Keith and Deonna/Greg in terms of physical affection. Iris is a naturally affectionate person--she's always touching Keith's leg, playing with his hair, throwing her legs over his, and sit close together on the couch. And I don't know if Keith is naturally affectionate or not, but he responds to Iris' affection and reciprocates it. BTW, when Iris walked into the bedroom and had to stop herself from climbing on top of Keith? I just can't believe they aren't hooking up. Or at least having oral sex. 

On the other hand, Deonna and Greg sat far apart on the couch with a full seat between them. They rarely touch. They do make eye contact, however, which is good. And by the end of the episode, things were a little better. There was still space between them on the couch, but not a whole seat this time. And they did hold hands. So that's progress, I guess. 

[red12]

38 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

Especially when she was telling him about their "boring Caucasian sex."  (everybody was laughing at that on Twitter)  Strange that Elizabeth is complaining about too much sex when she was the one on day two who went buck naked right in front of the camera crew.  She's a nutcase.  Jamie is no prize either, but he has a cat so IMO he wins. 😺

Wars have started and people have divorced because of different boundaries.  Maybe in Iris' home, guests don't go in the fridge and take stuff out.  It doesn't mean Iris is uptight and it doesn't mean Keith is wrong.  It just means they have different boundaries.  Iris should explain to Keith why she was taken aback and Keith should explain to Iris why to him it was no big deal.  

I do think Matt wanted to get married, but the problem with this show is what they, the show, believes that marriage means.  Some people get married and don't have kids and it's okay.  On this show though, a person might not be chosen if they say they don't want kids right away, so it encourages people to lie if they want to get on the show.  

I think this show is great, not a shit show at all IMO, because it shows why sometimes it might not be the best thing to do to have sex right away.  Amber scared me when she was crying so much over Matt.  She's married to Matt, but she barely knows him.  When Matt said he wanted to wait eight years for kids, Amber freaked out and then got clingy.  Deonna and Greg are right to wait, so are Keith and Iris.  You have to make sure the other person isn't crazy before you have sex.

The episode started off all boring but then DAMN.👧🏾

I agree with your points here and believe the lessons to be learned have less to do with the specifics of these two couples disagreements and more to do with how they do or don't resolve them.

Iris & Keith: I understand Iris' boundaries about the fridge. I was raised not to go into other's refrigerators unless they give permission. But, Keith's friends had permission from Keith and she knew that pretty early in the incident. So, her "everybody gets two drinks" announcement and body language came off as controlling, petty and frankly rude to his friends specifically. She could have easily taken mental note and then brought it up with Keith later even telling him "hey, you need to get me some more lemonade tomorrow since you and your boys drank all of my juice." I don't think Keith would have been pissed. But, they both were holding their rightness more than trying to figure out what their partner needed. Rookie mistake but fixable.

Amber & Matt: I didn't hear him communicating he absolutely would not have any kids for 8 years. I heard a person with no children who is very serious about that commitment saying "maybe 5 or 8 years". I didn't think it was set in stone and after they were married a year, he might feel more secure and up for discussion. I just don't see kids as an urgent conversation in this relationship but, Amber seems fear based in her outlook on life.

Amber is afraid of being left because her defining narrative of life seems to be "my mamma left me so, you can't". No one should be tasked with fixing that narrative except Amber. So, he glazes over in the car and goes limp while she pursues and tries to force him to engage. Then he stays out all night and ignores her which triggers her to pursue harder and her extreme reaction to her perception of another rejection. She is in trouble emotionally and I don't think she was just crying about Matt.

I also agree Matt wants to be married but, probably not a totally traditional marriage. He seems like the type of guy who might be comfortable with a woman who already has children and doesn't even need him living with her 24/7. I'm thinking something like what Gwyneth Paltrow allegedly has with her current husband. But, like you said, that wouldn't get him cast on this show.

[Elizzikra]

Quote

-Jamie packs up the cat and leaves only to return with flowers and all is ok?

It was the other way around. The first time he left, he didn't take anything. He came back with flowers for Elizabeth. Then they fought again and he left with a duffle bag and the cat. I wish he'd taken the dogs too - I felt bad that they had to stay with Crazy Red.

Quote

I loved it when Iris went on a tirade about how she wished his friends would respect their boundaries as a married couple. And Keith quietly adds, "About juice?"

I did too. It's not like they emptied the refrigerator and made themselves sandwiches. It was just lemonade. It looked like she had wine out - maybe they didn't want alcohol?

Quote

I kept thinking of Deonna's comment to Greg that Sandy dog is wary of men. That dog looked mighty comfortable with Greg's friend. His friend loving up on Sandy put a big ole smile on my face!

I am totally Team Sandy, the way she was flirting with all the boys. And I have, since the first episode, liked Greg and Deonna together. I'm rooting for them. They are my favorite of all the couples.

Quote

When Matt said he wanted to wait eight years for kids, Amber freaked out and then got clingy.  

I understood that. First, they shouldn't have been having that conversation in the car on the way to brunch with her family. That's on both of them. Second, Amber did the math and realized that if they waited 8 years, she'd be 35 when they started trying to have kids. That's late - and risky, especially if you want more than one. Honestly, I can't believe the "experts" don't ask about whether or not the couples a) want kids; b) how many they want and c) what the timeframe is. There's no room for compromise on a) and c) is ruled by biology. It's just plain mean to have two people marry who aren't on the same page about those things.

[Maccagirl]

1 hour ago, discoprincessthe2 said:

On a side note, I hope Matt had explained his parents' divorce to Amber off-camera as well. Someone on another message board found some info on it, and in light of that, I can see why neither parent would have been in attendance. 

Anything you can feel comfortable enough to share? 

[Neurochick]

9 minutes ago, topanga said:

I loved it when Iris went on a tirade about how she wished his friends would respect their boundaries as a married couple. And Keith quietly adds, "About juice?"

I agree.  That's why they need to have a conversation about different boundaries.  I remember on "90 Day Fiance" Paul, an American (and totally nutso) married Karine who is from a small town in Brazil.  They invited her brothers to their place and Paul went batshit crazy because Karine's brothers went into their refrigerator.  I didn't think it was a problem that Iris was upset, but she voiced that upset in front of everybody, which made her look crazy.  

23 minutes ago, Ki-in said:

Team Iris but...she should have let it go until they all left and then had a discussion with Keith  Their home is not a frat house or bachelor pad where guys can just crash and forage in the fridge like wild bears. If she doesn't set limits she will have a revolving door of hungry men and an empty fridge.

But I believe those were Keith's brothers not some random guys.  Correct me if I'm wrong.  You are right that she should have let it go until she talked to Keith, alone and explained her POV.

[Elizzikra]

Quote

I agree.  That's why they need to have a conversation about different boundaries.  I remember on "90 Day Fiance" Paul, an American (and totally nutso) married Karine who is from a small town in Brazil.  They invited her brothers to their place and Paul went batshit crazy because Karine's brothers went into their refrigerator.  I didn't think it was a problem that Iris was upset, but she voiced that upset in front of everybody, which made her look crazy.  

That was a little different though. In the case of Paul and Karine, they were very strapped for cash and the family had eaten like two weeks' worth of groceries. I think Iris and Keith are a little more financially stable and it was just lemonade.

Still - I take your point. Different boundaries are fine but discussing it in front of the guests while they drink the purloined lemonade was rude.

[Neurochick]

2 minutes ago, Elizzikra said:

That was a little different though. In the case of Paul and Karine, they were very strapped for cash and the family had eaten like two weeks' worth of groceries. I think Iris and Keith are a little more financially stable and it was just lemonade.

Still - I take your point. Different boundaries are fine but discussing it in front of the guests while they drink the purloined lemonade was rude.

Correct.  Paul went batshit crazy though instead of talking with Karine, if only he spoke her language instead of using that translator app.😫

Iris could have CALMLY talked to Keith AFTER the party.

10 minutes ago, red12 said:

I also agree Matt wants to be married but, probably not a totally traditional marriage. He seems like the type of guy who might be comfortable with a woman who already has children and doesn't even need him living with her 24/7. I'm thinking something like what Gwyneth Paltrow allegedly has with her current husband. But, like you said, that wouldn't get him cast on this show.

I would love it if this show paired off a couple who didn't want to have children, I think that would be very interesting.  Matt wants a partner who will travel the world with him; the problem is that Amber wants a traditional marriage.  Now she feels bad because she jumped on him like he was the last rose of summer.  

Side note:  I guess the reason they're all in the same building is so production could put cameras all over their apartment.  I felt uncomfortable watching Amber wailing like that, I know she signed up for a reality show and was probably told there would be cameras in the apartment, but I still felt bad that her family and friends had to witness her meltdown.

[Mocking Bird]

8 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

But I believe those were Keith's brothers not some random guys.  Correct me if I'm wrong. 

Keith introduced the men as "his brothers", but I don't know if he meant it as they were blood relations.  I did assume they were his actual brothers, though.  Whether or not they were, I was horrified by Iris's behavior.  I was raised in the south (not that that matters) by two very good, generous parents who would never deny anyone anything we had in the house to eat or drink.  Relatives and guests were always offered the best of what we had.  I would die a thousand deaths before I would every deny anyone anything I had to eat or drink.  To try to embarrass someone in front of people over helping themselves to something is the absolute lowest a hostess can sink.  I can't ever look at Iris the same now and I used to really like her.

[Soup333]

56 minutes ago, red12 said:

Deonna keeps saying that her dog doesn't take to men but, that dog was all about Greg in every seen and when his boys came over she was in their faces too. That dog's body language did not say "uncomfortable around testosterone".

Sandy seems to have really taken to Greg and he to her. 

32 minutes ago, topanga said:

On the other hand, Deonna and Greg sat far apart on the couch with a full seat between them. They rarely touch. They do make eye contact, however, which is good. And by the end of the episode, things were a little better. There was still space between them on the couch, but not a whole seat this time. And they did hold hands. So that's progress, I guess. 

After hearing about her past with other men I have the feeling that Deonna is holding herself back because she does like Greg and she doesn't want to end up in an Amber/Matt situation. She wants to build the friendship first and wait for the sex. I don't see anything wrong with that and I felt like she communicated that well to Greg.

23 minutes ago, red12 said:

Amber & Matt: I didn't hear him communicating he absolutely would not have any kids for 8 years. I heard a person with no children who is very serious about that commitment saying "maybe 5 or 8 years". I didn't think it was set in stone and after they were married a year, he might feel more secure and up for discussion. I just don't see kids as an urgent conversation in this relationship but, Amber seems fear based in her outlook on life.

Amber is afraid of being left because her defining narrative of life seems to be "my mamma left me so, you can't". No one should be tasked with fixing that narrative except Amber. 

I didn't think it was set in stone either. He said 5 to 8 and she heard 8+ years. I think she needs therapy more than a husband right now. Matt is responsible for his actions but he can't be the cure all for her abandonment issues.

20 minutes ago, Maccagirl said:

Anything you can feel comfortable enough to share? 

Someone here had looked it up and said Matt's parents have mutual restraining orders against each other. So he may have been only able to invite one to the wedding and that probably would have caused issues so he could have just wanted to avoid it.

19 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

But I believe those were Keith's brothers not some random guys.  Correct me if I'm wrong.  You are right that she should have let it go until she talked to Keith, alone and explained her POV.

I thought two of them were his brothers. I have two sisters and I go in their refrigerators and they go in mine. It would never occur to me not to do so, especially if it's just a drink. I don't think Iris is wrong per se, but she should have brought it up to Keith after the guests had left.

[humbleopinion]

Texts between Matt and Amber...

          4:58pm

Amber: just got home. where are u

           5pm

Matt: out with devon. catch u later

            8pm

Amber: are u eating dinner with me

             9pm

Amber: doing my lunges. u on the way home

             11pm

Amber: going to bed. WHERE ARE U?

              1am

Amber: panicked and worried...CALL ME NOW!!!!

What was sad was Amber's panties bunched up in her crack...

  If the cameras weren't set up she probably would have gotten into her car and driven to every restaurant and bar in Charlotte looking for his car...but instead she  boohooed on the couch..."I'm so sad"....

Edited July 25, 2019 by humbleopinion

[Soup333]

1 minute ago, humbleopinion said:

Texts between Matt and Amber...

          4:58pm

Amber: just got home. where are u

           5pm

Matt: out with devon. catch u later

Was it just me or did it sound almost sarcastic when she said he was out with his friend Devon? Almost like she was verbally putting friend in air quotes?

[gonecrackers]

2 hours ago, Gem 10 said:

14 hours ago, Ohwell said:

That's the impression I got from your posts.  

Ha.  So have I .

What I was trying to say (badly) is Deonna was expressing she didn't have real relationships prior, more like ones based on mostly just sex or together for the wrong reason. I thought she did this well, especially given her lack of relationship experience & hesitancy in opening up; it was probably a big step for her. She also admitted being sexually attracted to Greg. Greg heard "sexually attracted" & mentioned having sex that night, when Deonna had just expressed wanting to wait for a deeper connection with him. Does that mean I thought he was gonna jump her? No. I do think his mind went right there, though, & he jumped ahead of where she was & what she was saying, but nothing more. He was kidding with her & clearly they were both enjoying the conversation. He's been patient & caring & he's winning her. I felt continuing that way was best & working for Deonna, but if there's even a hint of rushing her she may back off - that's all I meant. I was also trying to be snarky & have some fun, but that didn't work out so well. 😟 (*shrug*)

I like this couple, & I don't say that often about anyone on this show together. I also wouldn't be surprised if they come back next week having "consummated".  They walked off happily together in the last scene, which was refreshing given the others couples' issues in this episode. 

Edited July 25, 2019 by gonecrackers

[Gurkel]

1 hour ago, red12 said:

Amber & Matt: I didn't hear him communicating he absolutely would not have any kids for 8 years. I heard a person with no children who is very serious about that commitment saying "maybe 5 or 8 years". I didn't think it was set in stone and after they were married a year, he might feel more secure and up for discussion. I just don't see kids as an urgent conversation in this relationship but, Amber seems fear based in her outlook on life.

Amber is afraid of being left because her defining narrative of life seems to be "my mamma left me so, you can't". No one should be tasked with fixing that narrative except Amber. So, he glazes over in the car and goes limp while she pursues and tries to force him to engage. Then he stays out all night and ignores her which triggers her to pursue harder and her extreme reaction to her perception of another rejection. She is in trouble emotionally and I don't think she was just crying about Matt.

I also agree Matt wants to be married but, probably not a totally traditional marriage. He seems like the type of guy who might be comfortable with a woman who already has children and doesn't even need him living with her 24/7. I'm thinking something like what Gwyneth Paltrow allegedly has with her current husband. But, like you said, that wouldn't get him cast on this show.

Is this the first time they've talked about whether Matt wants kids? I can't remember his response to her bringing up their future son "Matt Gwynee V." 

If Matt weren't already so distant and emotionally closed off with Amber, I don't think his "5-8 years" statement would've been as big of a deal. Because they would've had an open conversation about that feeling like a long time, and Matt reassuring her that chances are, she will still be very fertile at 32-35. But Amber already feels like Matt might not want her. So this is another nail in her coffin of insecurity. 

And then he basically told her he didn't want to have kids right away and end up with a "Baby Mama" that he couldn't get rid of. Damn, that's harsh. Combine that with his cold, dead eyes--I feel bad for Amber. 

But I agree with other posters that it isn't Matt's job to solve her abandonment issues. She needs therapy.

And I know the experts are not great, but why aren't the spouses able to call them with their issues, the way couples did in prior seasons? I've heard there are other therapists on staff besides the ones we see on the show. 

ETA: People seem to think it's okay that Matt stayed out all evening and never called or texted Amber, even when it got late. It would've been considerate of him to send her a quick text saying the evening ran late, or something. 

Edited July 25, 2019 by Gurkel

[LilaFowler]

Amber is a basket case. Go to therapy for your obvious abandonment issues or stop talking about it whenever there's a conflict. She's so unappealing to me, the worst of this bunch. Her "hot husband" is hard at work making himself emotionally, mentally and now physically unavailable to her. I have no idea why he wanted to do this show but Amber is not his person and no amount of trying (on her part) is going to change that. He's already made his decision concerning her. If they stay married at the end of this experiment it will be because he needs a place to crash and spending money.

If Jamie goes back to Beth after the things that she said to him (on national tv), he's a huge doormat. Insulting a man's sexual performance is something you say to someone you never want to see again. Why did she stop there? Should have called him poor and ugly as well, really touch all the bases.

Iris is a wet blanket. I had to laugh at her losing her shit over juice. Keith said on Unfiltered that he wants to wait to have sex with her because he isn't ready. As uptight as she is over juice, I cannot imagine being her first sexual partner. Nah...

Deonna did a 180 on Greg once she saw those four bedrooms. Haha, I see you, girl.

[Retired at last]

Was Elizabeth complaining to Jamie that they were having too much sex? He said it was just 4-5 times, but from what we have seen, isn't Big Red doing all of the initiating? The way they seemed to be going at it on the honeymoon, I thought they were doing it at least twice a day, but I guess not. She is mean and a bully. Also, somewhat of a narcissist, as she was making it all about her as he was trying to explain that he needed for her to listen to what was bothering him. I believe he was trying to communicate and she couldn't handle it, so things got mean.

I also think he went for her job because he is already tired of the relationship between Beth and her father and was using that as the underlying issue with her taking that job. But, he was right that he gave it back to her when she was yammering about anyone being able to go to college, although she didn't finish. And, yes, it showed she lied yet again with her job title when she hadn't even started working yet. I think at some point there will be an ultimatum Daddy or Husband, and we know who will win, which could be Jamie's way out.

I am really liking the Greg/Deonna dynamics. She was a little more relaxed and looked absolutely beautiful at the birthday party. She does need to realize that Sandy LOVES men, especially Greg, and not put that out there anymore. Sandy is fine, she needs to accept that Greg is a good guy since dogs know who they like. BTW, Sandy is awesome! So, I am not sure about her past. During the 10 years when she just dated herself, as a result of her traumatic high school relationship (situationship? Really?), she has mentioned that she did bad things she didn't want to repeat, so maybe she was pretty free during that time and now is holding tight. I do hope they continue to communicate off camera and we see the results, but she is looking so happy, so I want to see her get that kitchen!!!

Amber and her chipmunk speaking sister were too much. I will be surprised if they make it to the end, but they will surely "choose to get a divorce." At least Matt will, and I hope that Amber will continue to realize that he does not care about her and just let him have his own bathroom and stop sleeping with him (although, he apparently has good lips, or something). I do worry about this being too much for her students to see and think this was not a good career choice. Does the school board want her teaching their middle school kids?

Iris, Iris, Iris. I agree with all of the comments that said she should have waited until after the party to discuss her irritations with Keith, NOT reprimand the guests with a 2-drink limit. I think they actually laughed at that announcement. Was there alcohol there or was it dry? In which case, no wonder the lemonade looks tasty. I think Keith is really smooth and is playing the game. After he told Jamie on Unfiltered that he wasn't sure about long term, I think he is going to just play it cool and see what happens. Yes, she is getting the high maintenance crazy diva edit, but, she plays it well.

Edited July 25, 2019 by Retired at last

[LillysPad]

"Maybe I should ask Sargent Pepper what a healthy amount of sex a week is in a week." -Beth 

This made me laugh. 

[LillysPad]

Who moved the couch while Amber was in her bedroom waiting for Matt to come home? I now wonder if that was taken from another day and put in this story line? 

[humbleopinion]

Amber moved it so she can do walking lunges in her apartment for the cameras....

[gonecrackers]

Don't Keith & Iris both work for non profits?  Maybe Iris is just frugal & was feeling the pinch to keep herself in lemonade. Either way, it was a discussion for after the gathering.  It also could've just been contrived if the two didn't have enough drama to work with yet.

Keith says the right things on the show, but on Unfiltered he wasn't as committed to Iris at this point. On the show he's told her he's in it for the long haul, but on Unfiltered he admitted the hesitation was reg. sex. I find this disingenuous & it makes me sad for Iris. He signed up for marriage & if he's truly committed they can work that out together, but those kinds of concerns are also why they shouldn't have paired anyone with a virgin.

Reg. Sandy, maybe she had some hesitation with other men or didn't go to them easily. Maybe the issue was relatively minor, & Greg happens to be the most personable man she's met, so they're good.  Or maybe this was just another contrived story production tried & Sandy wasn't playing along...

Edited July 25, 2019 by gonecrackers

[Maccagirl]

57 minutes ago, Soup333 said:

Someone here had looked it up and said Matt's parents have mutual restraining orders against each other. So he may have been only able to invite one to the wedding and that probably would have caused issues so he could have just wanted to avoid it.

Thank you very much!  Sounds easily combustible and very sad indeed.

[LillysPad]

16 minutes ago, humbleopinion said:

Amber moved it so she can do walking lunges in her apartment for the cameras....

I just went back and took some snap shots.. Look at the stuff around the island in each picture as well. They didn't edit right. 🙂 The last one was after Amber talked to the camera at 2:14. It was the only one without a time stamp. I thought it was interesting, that is all. 🙂 

What also caught my eye was Matt's shoes and his guitar. 😄 

Edited July 25, 2019 by LillysPad
Matt's big shoes, and he was suppose to be gone.

[red12]

1 hour ago, Gurkel said:

Is this the first time they've talked about whether Matt wants kids? I can't remember his response to her bringing up their future son "Matt Gwynee V." 

If Matt weren't already so distant and emotionally closed off with Amber, I don't think his "5-8 years" statement would've been as big of a deal. Because they would've had an open conversation about that feeling like a long time, and Matt reassuring her that chances are, she will still be very fertile at 32-35. But Amber already feels like Matt might not want her. So this is another nail in her coffin of insecurity. 

And then he basically told her he didn't want to have kids right away and end up with a "Baby Mama" that he couldn't get rid of. Damn, that's harsh. Combine that with his cold, dead eyes--I feel bad for Amber. 

But I agree with other posters that it isn't Matt's job to solve her abandonment issues. She needs therapy.

And I know the experts are not great, but why aren't the spouses able to call them with their issues, the way couples did in prior seasons? I've heard there are other therapists on staff besides the ones we see on the show. 

ETA: People seem to think it's okay that Matt stayed out all evening and never called or texted Amber, even when it got late. It would've been considerate of him to send her a quick text saying the evening ran late, or something. 

I think they ask about kids in the interviews and I have no idea what the answers were.

Yes, Matt has been distant but, I'm not sure which came first, him pulling away or Amber overreacting to things like him going to the guest bathroom because my first inklings of his distance was in scenes where she wasn't onscreen. 

Based on what I have seen, reassuring Amber about her fertility probably wouldn't have worked. For example, her conversation with her sister was all about Matt being the "old dad" not Amber's egg quality. 

Full disclosure, I agree with Matt's position on once you have children, that person is there forever. That is one of the reasons I was using multiple forms of birth control before I got married. I also confessed to having some anxiety once I was married, pregnant and starting to show because of the realization, "Now I'm in this for real. There is no way out even if we divorce. I have to maintain a relationship with my husband for parenting no matter what." We were and are happily married but, the anxiety was real.

To your point about the experts, I wonder if they do call but, the footage hasn't been shown. That's dumb if it's true. I'm just speculating.

I don't think Matt (or anyone) staying out all night without checking in is okay. But, it's also not a sign of emotional health to just repeatedly call a person who does not want to communicate with you to try and force it. It boils down to Amber's reaction being so exaggerated that it mutes some of the damage Matt is inflicting.  I agree with you that he should have texted, I'm just not sure he didn't.

Edited July 25, 2019 by red12

[Kroliosis]

49 minutes ago, LillysPad said:

I just went back and took some snap shots.. Look at the stuff around the island in each picture as well. They didn't edit right. 🙂 The last one was after Amber talked to the camera at 2:14. It was the only one without a time stamp. I thought it was interesting, that is all. 🙂 

What also caught my eye was Matt's shoes and his guitar. 😄 

Hahahaha.  Those clearly aren't all from the same day!  Wall art, furniture, etc all moving around?  I call shenanigans.

[Ilovepie]

2 hours ago, red12 said:

It seemed to me that Jamie had previously talked to Beth about the sensitive nature of his parent's break up. He referred to a previous conversation I assume occurred off camera so, that made me wonder if production may have been involved in her bringing up on camera. It was obvious he was triggered and is a person who lashes out to make the other person hurt when he feels angry

This exactly. He said in a TH or voice over that "Beth knows this is a sensitive subject for me". That implies that they had discussed it previously. And her body language and voice were all coy; to me, it seemed like she was deliberately trying to poke the bear, so to speak. He has shown multiple times that when he is upset he resorts to sarcasm and rude comments. They are both horrible because they don't discuss things, they resort to low blows almost immediately. Totally toxic.

3 hours ago, Neurochick said:

Wars have started and people have divorced because of different boundaries.  Maybe in Iris' home, guests don't go in the fridge and take stuff out.  It doesn't mean Iris is uptight and it doesn't mean Keith is wrong.  It just means they have different boundaries.  Iris should explain to Keith why she was taken aback and Keith should explain to Iris why to him it was no big deal.  

I agree that neither side is necessarily wrong, but she was wrong in how she handled the situation, which I found rude and inhospitable. Iris has shown herself to be very "my way or the highway". She has a lot of rules, and she needs to learn to compromise or this is going nowhere in the long run.

[Neurochick]

1 minute ago, Ilovepie said:

I agree that neither side is necessarily wrong, but she was wrong in how she handled the situation, which I found rude and inhospitable. Iris has shown herself to be very "my way or the highway". She has a lot of rules, and she needs to learn to compromise or this is going nowhere in the long run.

I agree.  She should have said nothing during the party.  

I think a reason why some people have a lot of rules and the "my way or the highway" attitude is because they're afraid they'll get run over, that they're not sure of themselves and their boundaries.   It's like, "do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?"

[seacliffsal]

Throughout the entire episode I just wanted to reach through the screen and brush Amber's hair.  I know it's a tense situation for everyone involved, but I believe that some of them are handling the stress and anxiety (will my spouse want to stay with me?) better than others.  Sandy is the standout in my opinion in terms of doing her best to make it work... So much for not liking males.

I really enjoyed the first part of the episode when it seemed like they were all enjoying each other and getting along.  Then their real selves made it onto the screen.  Whether or not it's appropriate for guests to go into one's refrigerator, it definitely is not appropriate to be rude towards one's guests (in my opinion).  It seemed like even Iris' friends couldn't believe she said that two drink maximum nonsense.  Learn from this experience.  Buy your regular groceries the day after a party if that's what it takes to work this out.  I think Keith was really surprised by the focus of her ire.  Take it down a notch or ten.

Amber seems very controlling to me.  First, the bathroom, then the children discussion.  She wants/expects Matt to behave and think the way she wants.  Matt just met her a couple of weeks prior-nobody (looking at you Jepthe, Jepthe's wife, Danielle, and Bobby) should be jumping into having children at this point.  And 5 years doesn't seem unreasonable at this stage in their relationship.  Oh, and Amber?  Brush your hair.

Jaime and Elizabeth.  Pretty verbally aggressive fight for this early in their marriage.  I think they both want the last word or to think that they "won" the argument.  Too bad as I felt like their family brunch went pretty well albeit with several awkward moments.

Deone and Greg are the couple I'm most rooting for at this point.  However, I do hope for the best for all of the couples.  Hopefully as they get more comfortable with each other the anxiety levels will drop and they may have a good chance at having a loving and successful marriage.

[humbleopinion]

 Jamie's cheapo 9.99 Trader Joe's bouquet of flowers..with the sku stickers still on the plastic....I cannot comprehend....

Go to a florist ...hand over your credit card and say $150 bouquet....give an armful of  flowers you can be proud ...women you pass by on the street swoon when they see a man with a beautiful bouquet...they think lucky woman...

Anytime there are fake dyed blue flowers in the arrangement ...no.no.no.

But on the other hand,  PottyMouthBeth  doesn't deserve anything better than grocery store flowers...

Rule of thumb...If you demand flowers then they will never be given with heartfelt sentiment, BigBeth....

Edited July 25, 2019 by humbleopinion

[Elizzikra]

Quote

I would love it if this show paired off a couple who didn't want to have children, I think that would be very interesting.

Neither Elizabeth nor Jamie wants children though they were both dishonest about it during the application process.

[Lusterleaf]

Jerry Seinfeld (Jamie) and Kathy Griffin (Beth) should just end it now... save us all the misery of having to watch them hurling insults at each other.

I feel like Matt pulled a Luke and just signed up for this show to gain Instafame. He's totally not into Amber and tried to drive her away by saying he didn't want kids for 8 years. While I think it was crappy for Matt to not even send Amber a text, I do think she over-reacted a bit by calling her dad hysterically crying in the middle of the night.

Iris definitely over-reacted about the Lemonade, and I'm starting to get tired about hearing how she's a virgin.

My favorite couple is Deonna and Greg... it was good to see Deonna break down her walls a little bit.

[red12]

1 hour ago, LillysPad said:

"Maybe I should ask Sargent Pepper what a healthy amount of sex a week is in a week." -Beth 

This made me laugh. 

Than you for this. I assumed I misheard her while trying to keep up with the argument. 😂

[gonecrackers]

8 minutes ago, seacliffsal said:

Amber seems very controlling to me.  First, the bathroom, then the children discussion.  She wants/expects Matt to behave and think the way she wants.  Matt just met her a couple of weeks prior-nobody (looking at you Jepthe, Jepthe's wife, Danielle, and Bobby) should be jumping into having children at this point.  And 5 years doesn't seem unreasonable at this stage in their relationship.  Oh, and Amber?  Brush your hair.

She's approaching the marriage as if running a classroom.

1 minute ago, Elizzikra said:

Neither Elizabeth nor Jamie wants children though they were both dishonest about it during the application process.

Liars deserve each other.

16 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

I think a reason why some people have a lot of rules and the "my way or the highway" attitude is because they're afraid they'll get run over, that they're not sure of themselves and their boundaries.   It's like, "do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?" 

BOTH! 🤭🤨 (hangs head in shame...)

[humbleopinion]

Iris opened the fridge, Thirsty Dude spied the lemonade and decided that he didn't want was being served on the island.

He opened the door and poured himself a glass... no rummaging.... no rooting around, no pawing the contents...he just wanted lemonade...

Mi Casa es Su Casa.....

Iris is not a person with a generous spirit.

Keith tried to explain her appalling behavior with

Iris is an only child, selfish, not used to sharing...

except she's not a child and when things got out of her control she became a selfish loudmouth adult...

Edited July 25, 2019 by humbleopinion

[ShowFan]

Is basic African sex better than basic Caucasian sex? Asking for a friend 

[Ilovepie]

2 minutes ago, gonecrackers said:

She's approaching the marriage as if running a classroom.

This! I told Mr. Ilovepie that when she is annoyed at him, she starts lecturing him like he is one of her students. He seems completely unsure of how to deal with it and just shuts down. This one is going down in flames quickly...........

[humbleopinion]

I actually slapped my forehead when Amber said "His middle name is Kemp, his name is Matt Kemp Gywnne the fifth".....she sounded like a 12 year old so proud that she knows so much about her huzband....That should make Matt's penis crawl up to hide...

Edited July 25, 2019 by humbleopinion

[Neurochick]

18 minutes ago, Elizzikra said:

Neither Elizabeth nor Jamie wants children though they were both dishonest about it during the application process.

Because if they had said they didn't want kids, they wouldn't have been picked for the show.  

[DrewPaul2010]

Quote

I think Jamie and Beth's fight was stupid and avoidable.

I believe it's inevitable...In such a short time they went from being love birds to being full of burning embers. It was amazing how much animosity was building up. She indicated that she was gainfully employed but that turns out not to be true and it was a gimme job from her father. I feel sorry for her fellow employees who will find out fast she is daddy's little girl and she is always right. Daddy will turn on Jamie immediately he will never be in good graces with him. Stick a fork in it. 

Deonna & Gregory

Moving in the right direction...its destiny not getting lucky.

Iris & Keith

Did she say he might have to wait until after decision day? Better re-calculate that route...

I admit I've never had a group of friends come over and help themselves to what's ever in the refrigerator (usually they bring things to put in it). But if I met someone and that was there deal...what the heck that's no big deal. Pick your fights Iris refrigerator raids are small potatoes. I know as a rule other peoples refrigerator always had better stuff in it.

Amber & Matthew

At this point I don't think Matt is into Amber as much as she is into him...he's being a weasel. He should have picked his own mate. Leaving your spouse hanging is totally unacceptable I haven't seen any previews but I hope there was a good reason. 

[humbleopinion]

RedLiz felt she had to be disingenuous about wanting kids when Jamie's StepMom asked...just be truthful, Jamie doesn't want kids either and surely his stepmother  knows....

Edited July 25, 2019 by humbleopinion

[DrewPaul2010]

2 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

Because if they had said they didn't want kids, they wouldn't have been picked for the show.  

Really? I wonder how honest Matthew was did he tell them oh I don't want kids for 5-8 years and by the way I may leave the country for 7 months...