S04.E07: All Hail the Queen

[cheewhiz]

I noticed the "Queen's" bra was showing in her backless dress when they got on the boat. Tacky, tacky tacky

[snarts]

8 hours ago, spunky said:

I think he was attracted to her at first, but was turned off by her over sexualization of almost everything. Judging from his Instagram, he seems to like women with silent confidence as opposed to the Aeshas of the world.

Yeah, no.  Joao showed us all who is he is last season and a leopard doesn't change its spots.  Any woman who's not entranced by his charms is a slut/whore. 

[Kdawg82]

Joao is looking for a quiet, submissive, "classy" and yet slightly insecure woman to beat or at least abuse psychologically- I'm sure of it now. The guy needs to leave reality tv and not come back. Get help. His language indicates he does not respect ANY woman at all. Drinks bring out his true feelings. Brooke dodged a bullet and Sandy needs to buy a clue. She is horrible. 

The new Stew June is seeming off somehow but remains to be seen. I think she is so pretty though. Probably one of the most attractive stews that's been on the show IMO. If she were normal I'd root for her and Collin. I like her evasiveness with Hannah. In the coming ep it looks like Hannah is nagging her "just tell me the truth!" Hannah, nobody owes you their personal life details or "truth" as it pertains to their life. I can't stand Hannah. Never have and never will. 

[Crazydoxielady]

Was anyone else annoyed by seeing four people working their asses off, and then cut to the rest of the crew playing on the toys? Sandy make some really weird decisions, and I think at least one more person should have been on the excursion with the guests. 

 The queen of Versailles is truly a side of the road accident that you can’t turn away from. It’s funny to me that for someone who porports herself to be so rich that she cannot find a bra that fits, and yes I saw a beige bra with a backless dress when she first came on! How tacky! And I don’t mean to be petty but her teeth are deep yellow, why doesn’t she whiten them? 

[jumper sage]

I missed this episode and then slept through the 2nd airing.  Stupid Teen Mom.

Queen of Versailles is just a regular person who married well, then spent money, then lost money, then recouped money.  Her elderly husband was huge in the time-share biz until it popped.  Her first mansion was a disgusting mess with animal feces and garbage all over.  They would eat fast food all-the-damn-time.  Putting lipstick on a pig comes to mind.

[biakbiak]

1 hour ago, jumper sage said:

Her first mansion was a disgusting mess with animal feces and garbage all over.  They would eat fast food all-the-damn-time.  Putting lipstick on a pig comes to mind.

I think they still live there every now and than the Orlando paper checks in on the building and early this year it said their was still a year and half of construction left. 

Jeff Lewis consulted for an episode of his show and it was still ridiculously unfinished. 

The house has its own Wiki page.  

No one has mentioned the most disturbing part of the documentary in which the housekeeper decided to move into one of the children’s playhouses on the property.

Edited July 17, 2019 by biakbiak

[HunterHunted]

2 hours ago, snarts said:

Yeah, no.  Joao showed us all who is he is last season and a leopard doesn't change its spots.  Any woman who's not entranced by his charms is a slut/whore. 

55 minutes ago, Kdawg82 said:

Joao is looking for a quiet, submissive, "classy" and yet slightly insecure woman to beat or at least abuse psychologically- I'm sure of it now. The guy needs to leave reality tv and not come back. Get help. His language indicates he does not respect ANY woman at all. Drinks bring out his true feelings. Brooke dodged a bullet and Sandy needs to buy a clue. She is horrible. 

Aesha said on WWHL that Joao does this repeatedly throughout the season. He'll get drunk, get pissed that she isn't interested in him and then call her a whore. At this point, I'm more angry with Sandy than Joao because I know she's going to tie herself in knots trying to defend his abhorrent behavior.

[howiveaddict]

8 hours ago, HunterHunted said:

This is how you know what is and isn't produced. Even if the guests legitimately requested a picnic at the top of Eze, there's no way on a real charter that the crew would go ashore without at least 100 Euros from petty cash to buy anything that they might have forgotten.

We know Jackie wouldn't have requested a picnic up there, since there isn't an elevator to the top.

If I was staying on  a luxury yacht, I would want to be out eating at all the fabulous restaurants in the south of France.  Not every meal on the boat.

[tranquilidade]

27 minutes ago, howiveaddict said:

We know Jackie wouldn't have requested a picnic up there, since there isn't an elevator to the top.

If I was staying on  a luxury yacht, I would want to be out eating at all the fabulous restaurants in the south of France.  Not every meal on the boat.

Yeah, she didn't look at all interested in walking.  Also, she mentions she has someone pack for her and doesn't know what wardrobe elements go together.  What a helpless person she is. 

[spunky]

8 hours ago, HunterHunted said:

I'm sorry, but if he's claiming this, it is bullshit. Aesha has been been gross, scatological, and over sexualized a ton on and off the boat. Joao had every opportunity to reveal his distaste in a much more calm nuanced manner. We've seen Sandy turn away in disgust to things Aesha has said. We've seen Hannah do the same and somewhat jokingly call Aesha "a dirty bitch." Joao has never done that. There were so many times he could have said she was gross because Aesha is super gross. He could have done that and kept his distance. He hasn't done that because his issue with Aesha isn't about that. The moment Aesha starts grinding on a dude who isn't him, Joao calls her a slut and a whore. First of all, it was just dancing. Secondly, who cares if a woman likes to have sex with different partners. As long as she's not putting herself in danger or hurting anyone, it should be cool.

Joao is a misogynist and he hasn't changed. Aesha talks about sex and poop, but so far we've yet to hear any stories of orgies or indiscriminant sex. On their nights out, we haven't seen Aesha hooking up with randos. Joao is calling her a slut and a whore despite having no evidence that she is. She has talked about sex in the abstract, not in any specific personal way. But somehow, Joao is sooooooooo scandalized by her grinding on a dude who isn't him, Jack, that she she's a slut and a whore. I see who he is. He might be doing his best to keep Jezabob aka Joao van der Sloot under wraps, but he's the same abusive misogynist that he's always been. He hasn't changed at all.

Let's not forget how he dealt with his female crew last season. Hannah, who I don't really like, speaks her mind and he calls her slut, whore, and a cunt. He does this straight out of the gate. Kasey tells him that she's practically a virgin and he's salivating, but she starts speaking her mind and his dick mostly loses interest. Brooke is an insecure needy mess and Joao is in love. He barely talks to stealth smoke show Jamie and when he does it's only to condescend. Joao isn't into quiet reserved women. He's into bitches who won't talk back to him and that's almost how he'd likely phrase it too.

This is how you know what is and isn't produced. Even if the guests legitimately requested a picnic at the top of Eze, there's no way on a real charter that the crew would go ashore without at least 100 Euros from petty cash to buy anything that they might have forgotten.

I’m not saying he was right to call her a whore, because she was grinding all over Jack. He was a total donkey last season, he enjoyed the thrill of the chase because one was desperate and needy and the other enjoyed the attention. What I’ve seen from his social media, he seems to have grown up a bit. He needs to learn to limit his drinking or just stop drinking all together.

[spunky]

4 hours ago, snarts said:

Yeah, no.  Joao showed us all who is he is last season and a leopard doesn't change its spots.  Any woman who's not entranced by his charms is a slut/whore. 

I believe everyone can change (it’s the social worker effect). He was a total pig last year with his behavior and hopefully he’s grown up enough to understand that some things should not be said.

[spunky]

12 hours ago, rehoboth said:

Over the years I have worked with many people with the same work ethic as Jack.  You know the ones who get a 1-2 hour task to do and decide that they are going to spend their entire day on it, the ones who drift off and are never where they are supposed to be, the ones who feign ignorance to avoid work when they know perfectly well how to do a task, etc...  But I don't recall ever seeing someone be so honest about their desire to be paid to do as little as possible.  He even seems proud of his ability to dodge his responsibilities.  Who will hire him after this?

I watch him and sit there with my mouth open, not believing what I am hearing.  It will make me happy if he gets his just desserts but that doesn't look likely at present.

I’m just wondering how he’s made it as an engineer on any boat with his extremely poor work ethic.

[zoltana]

When they showed Hanna asking June in the preview yet again if she has a boyfriend it popped in my head that maybe she has a girlfriend.  I didn't catch all the cake eating.  It didn't seem like a big deal.  

I noticed the bra on the open back outfit as well.  I don't like my bra strap showing in a tank top so I have no idea how she thought that was a good look.  Agreed that it's tacky, tacky, tacky.  

[Batwings]

On 7/15/2019 at 10:38 PM, FairyDusted said:

OMG That tape of her eating the cake was fucking chilling. I was wondering why we got such a Lifetime Movie looking cake eating scene. I was wondering why Meredith Baxter Birney popped up in my head.

That movie has haunted me for over 30 years! 

[Skylander25]

On 7/16/2019 at 3:24 AM, spunky said:

Along with Jack

Me too!  I live in Liverpool and he is causing me to develop a stomach ulcer with the amount of cringing I do when he appears.  His mum must have told him he is the cleverest, most handsome at least once an hour.  He is "all thrills, no skills! He is not typical of a Liverpool lad.  They are funny, but tough and not afraid of hard work.  Oh Jack, I should be, but I am not a fan!

[spunky]

3 hours ago, Skylander25 said:

Me too!  I live in Liverpool and he is causing me to develop a stomach ulcer with the amount of cringing I do when he appears.  His mum must have told him he is the cleverest, most handsome at least once an hour.  He is "all thrills, no skills! He is not typical of a Liverpool lad.  They are funny, but tough and not afraid of hard work.  Oh Jack, I should be, but I am not a fan!

I give Joao a lot of credit for tolerating him this long. If it were me he would have gotten a plane ticket either before or along with Mila. Travis and Aesha laughing at his antics aren’t helping, it’s just making him more defiant and lazy.

[Rottiemommie]

zoltana   

5 HOURS AGO

"When they showed Hanna asking June in the preview yet again if she has a boyfriend it popped in my head that maybe she has a girlfriend."

That was my first thought too

[Baltimore Betty]

5 hours ago, zoltana said:

I noticed the bra on the open back outfit as well.  I don't like my bra strap showing in a tank top so I have no idea how she thought that was a good look.  Agreed that it's tacky, tacky, tacky.  

Bugs the shit out of me, (Molly from 90 Fiance who owns a bra shop would wear shirts like that and the wrong bra with everything!). I don't care how much she spent on that unflattering rag she did not help the look of her outfit with her dirty four hook bra showing in the back.  

Also, she would not get out of the kitchen! She invaded their space, their tiny little space.

Philanthropic my ass, I saw that documentary on that Queen, the house is an unfinished mess, they are pretty much broke and her husband (I think has since passed away) looked so checked out all he could do is sit in his den and stare at the TV.  Sandy tried to paint them as a power couple, not buying it. 

They could easily give back to the community, turn that house in to a shelter for women and children at risk or a pet rescue, anything but the façade of bygone days.  

Anyone that would put the crew thru that mess of having to have to set up lunch at the top of Eze is a sadist...production or charter guest.

[Baltimore Betty]

10 hours ago, biakbiak said:

No one has mentioned the most disturbing part of the documentary in which the housekeeper decided to move into one of the children’s playhouses on the property.

OMG! I forgot about that tidbit!  

[luvthepros]

11 hours ago, Kdawg82 said:

The new Stew June is seeming off somehow but remains to be seen.

June is an author.of a book that appears to be quite compelling. See post up thread.

[terrymct]

11 hours ago, spunky said:

I’m just wondering how he’s made it as an engineer on any boat with his extremely poor work ethic.

Keep in mind that he's no longer working as an engineer on a commercial vessel.  That's a job with great pay.  There's a strong likelihood that his change in employment wasn't a choice on his part.

[dleighg]

Did she make/serve the mint jelly? I thought I saw her stripping mint leaves so it seems she was working on it. But the "Queen" seemed disappointed not to get it.

[Special K]

1 hour ago, dleighg said:

Did she make/serve the mint jelly? I thought I saw her stripping mint leaves so it seems she was working on it. But the "Queen" seemed disappointed not to get it.

Didn't she, or one of the other guests, say, "This yogurt sauce is good, even better than mint jelly would be"?

[dleighg]

39 minutes ago, Special K said:

Didn't she, or one of the other guests, say, "This yogurt sauce is good, even better than mint jelly would be"?

Yes, the Queen did say that, after looking around disappointedly for, I assume, the jelly. But I swear I saw Anastasia at least starting to make it. I mean, even if it makes no sense (IMHO), I'd still give it to her if I could.

[biakbiak]

8 minutes ago, dleighg said:

Yes, the Queen did say that, after looking around disappointedly for, I assume, the jelly. But I swear I saw Anastasia at least starting to make it. I mean, even if it makes no sense (IMHO), I'd still give it to her if I could.

I imagine she put the mint in the yogurt sauce which is common.

[terrymct]

22 minutes ago, biakbiak said:

I imagine she put the mint in the yogurt sauce which is common.

Yes, that's what she did.  The yogurt sauce had mint in it.  Queen seemed a bit unhappy until she tasted it, then was fine.

[100Proof]

On 7/15/2019 at 10:24 PM, Emmeline said:

I just heard Captain Sandy call the primary, Jackie Siegel, philanthropic.

philanthropic = tax write off

On 7/15/2019 at 10:31 PM, nytonc said:

If I was Joao, Jack would have been long gone. He’s adorable but lazy af. 

People like him cuz he sounds like a Beatle.  ;-D

On 7/16/2019 at 2:37 AM, HunterHunted said:

Something about deciding to quit IBM, becoming a model, and then marrying her husband seems to have shaken a screw lose. Jackie's a computer engineer who worked at IBM. At some point, she decided to say fuck it. I think all of the emphasis on her body and not her brains did not do good things for her cognitive capacity. 

That reminded me, only sorta in reverse, of an excellent book  (imo) 'Geek Love' by Katherine Dunn.

There's a sub plot concerning a cult that beautiful women joined, who would normally trade on their looks and wind up living a shallow, vacuous existence, would mutilate themselves to consequently focus on a life of true meaning and value, intellect and human benefit.

Edited July 17, 2019 by 100Proof

[heatherchandler]

17 hours ago, biakbiak said:

I think they still live there every now and than the Orlando paper checks in on the building and early this year it said their was still a year and half of construction left. 

Jeff Lewis consulted for an episode of his show and it was still ridiculously unfinished. 

The house has its own Wiki page.  

No one has mentioned the most disturbing part of the documentary in which the housekeeper decided to move into one of the children’s playhouses on the property.

Didn't one of the smaller children try to live with the housekeeper out there?

[Special K]

1 hour ago, 100Proof said:

That reminded me, only sorta in reverse, of an excellent book  (imo) 'Geek Love' by Katherine Dunn.

There's a sub plot concerning a cult that beautiful women joined, who would normally trade on their looks and wind up living a shallow, vacuous existence, would mutilate themselves to consequently focus on a life of true meaning and value, intellect and human benefit.

OT but interested:  is that based on the "Nxivm" cult thing -- the leader just went to jail?

[100Proof]

47 minutes ago, Special K said:

OT but interested:  is that based on the "Nxivm" cult thing -- the leader just went to jail?

Not that I'm aware. Book is fiction published in 1989. Unless, of course, if the cult existed at the time, the author could have been inspired by it.  

FWIW, main plot was about a small family owned freak circus, whose owner's children were the show attractions. When the owners became pregnant, she would experiment drinking just enough from various household poisonous materials, to hopefully cause some sort of deformity and thus eventually become an attraction.

Sounds offensive I know on he face of it but its an excellent read. Oddball, a bit surreal, black comedy

Edited July 17, 2019 by 100Proof

[langford peel]

I guess we are going to see how Anastasia does with the fancy when she makes the sea urchin. I think the lamb was another example of simple fare prepared correctly that is very popular. What everyone is missing is the superb cakes that she is making. They are extremely impressive.

[dleighg]

1 minute ago, langford peel said:

I think the lamb was another example of simple fare prepared correctly that is very popular.

I think both her mediterranean buffet and lamb meal looked great. So I guess either those previous guests just requested all that "junk food," or that's all she had to work with from Mila's provisioning.

[100Proof]

Absolutely love lamb. A lot of people seem not to at all. 

Edited July 17, 2019 by 100Proof

[biakbiak]

7 minutes ago, dleighg said:

I think both her mediterranean buffet and lamb meal looked great. So I guess either those previous guests just requested all that "junk food," or that's all she had to work with from Mila's provisioning.

I was thinking that if she was trying to get rid of a bunch of beef that Mila ordered.

[langford peel]

That makes a lot of sense. Anastasia seems to be very competent if a little nervous which is understandable.

[dleighg]

2 hours ago, dleighg said:

I think both her mediterranean buffet and lamb meal looked great. So I guess either those previous guests just requested all that "junk food," or that's all she had to work with from Mila's provisioning.

and I will say that I am a pretty confident and able home cook, and that buffet, then the lamb meal a few hours later, is quite an accomplishment in small quarters. That's a *lot* of work, and a lot of keeping track of a lot of different components. She deserves a lot of credit.

[biakbiak]

6 minutes ago, dleighg said:

and I will say that I am a pretty confident and able home cook, and that buffet, then the lamb meal a few hours later, is quite an accomplishment in small quarters. That's a *lot* of work, and a lot of keeping track of a lot of different components. She deserves a lot of credit.

Especially when you add in the layered cakes! Yes, again a capable cook could get that done but in addition to all the food and in the space and without complaint. Matt could barely boil water and Adam and Ben would always act so put upon by the very idea of making cakes. I mean a lot of that comes from the real chefs don’t bake line but they are yacht chefs so should do it without complaint. Her trying hard to prove she can do it might actually make her a better fit in some ways.

[PumpkinPK]

 Am only 6 min into this episode.  I haven't read any comments (but can't wait to when it is over).  I am quite sure the following has been said.

Joao is such a DXCK!  His apology/remorse that included rhe word slut was even more gross than his comment to her.  Ofc no comment about the guy who was doing it right along with her.

My main take awya is that I dislike Captain Sandy even more for being so enamored and simultaneoulsy bamboozled by this fool.

Back to the show.  Jackie was a PITA on Flipping Out, and I am dying to watch her inflict her personality disorder on the crew.

Edited July 18, 2019 by PumpkinPK
Autocorrect changed "such a dick" into suck a dick". Really wanted to leave it like that lol.

[spunky]

11 hours ago, terrymct said:

Keep in mind that he's no longer working as an engineer on a commercial vessel.  That's a job with great pay.  There's a strong likelihood that his change in employment wasn't a choice on his part.

Coming to think of it, this makes perfect sense. No boss wants a lazy employee.

[yourmomiseasy]

On 7/16/2019 at 5:09 PM, Crazydoxielady said:

And I don’t mean to be petty but her teeth are deep yellow, why doesn’t she whiten them? 

Because it hurts like a mother fucker and isn't worth it?  

[HunterHunted]

On 7/16/2019 at 12:03 PM, scrb said:

Thinking about it more, I really doubt the guests asked for a picnic on top of Eze.

There are plenty of high end restaurants, with stupendous views, up there.

So the producers wanted it, put it in their pref sheet.

Maybe it was just the views or maybe to stress the crew having to take all that stuff up there, then of course forgetting cutlery.

They could probably borrow or buy cutlery from a restaurant or a hotel up there.

17 hours ago, Baltimore Betty said:

Anyone that would put the crew thru that mess of having to have to set up lunch at the top of Eze is a sadist...production or charter guest.

You mean Jackie "Where's the elevator?" Siegel didn't request a hike from the base to the top to eat sandwiches and salad? If Jackie had her way she would have been airlifted from her stateroom to the summit and had drones bring her Chick-fil-A. There's no way Jackie requested it.

6 hours ago, biakbiak said:

Especially when you add in the layered cakes! Yes, again a capable cook could get that done but in addition to all the food and in the space and without complaint. Matt could barely boil water and Adam and Ben would always act so put upon by the very idea of making cakes. I mean a lot of that comes from the real chefs don’t bake line but they are yacht chefs so should do it without complaint. Her trying hard to prove she can do it might actually make her a better fit in some ways.

Matt could cook. He's just the least creative least inspired chef I've ever seen. He's like a computer; it can do whatever you want it to do, but you have to program it first. That's Matt. It's why when they put Bruno in the galley with Matt, Bruno quickly took over menu planning. It's pretty clear that Matt was nowhere near ready to be an executive or head chef. He's got no imagination and he's not flexible. He had his shitty bananas foster, but realized he didn't have vanilla ice cream so he put chocolate instead, which didn't go over well. Didn't Kate have to walk him through substituting whipped cream for vanilla ice cream and putting that on the dish? Bruno is unsurprisingly the chef and stew on a 3 crew yacht. Matt started a pickle company. That sounds about right.

I always felt like Adam complained a lot less than Ben about desserts. Adrian is probably the most creative and technically skilled chef to be on Below Deck. He did sugar work on a yacht. It's not super hard, but you don't have a ton of space to let things set up.

[jumper sage]

On 7/16/2019 at 8:40 PM, biakbiak said:

I think they still live there every now and than the Orlando paper checks in on the building and early this year it said their was still a year and half of construction left. 

Jeff Lewis consulted for an episode of his show and it was still ridiculously unfinished. 

The house has its own Wiki page.  

No one has mentioned the most disturbing part of the documentary in which the housekeeper decided to move into one of the children’s playhouses on the property.

So her kids must be all grown up by now.  What a joke.

[biakbiak]

4 hours ago, jumper sage said:

So her kids must be all grown up by now.  What a joke.

Not all of them her kids range in age from 25 (her niece who they adopted) to 12 a pair of twins. She has a total of 8 including her daughter who died.

[Mr. Miner]

I'm not a Joao fan but Jackoff is worthless and Travis is hiding in the galley. Travis curses Joao under his breath any time he suggests he do something deck related. It's like Colin doesn't exist when he asks for help from his fellow deck hands. And Sandy let's everyone have a play day while the others are busting their ass. Clueless F-ing Captain!

[yourmomiseasy]

Have we ever seen a chef hit the local markets before?  The lamb dinner looked amazing.  The problem I see coming is it seems like Anastasia gets really frustrated with the rest of the crew standing around in the galley flapping their gums.  She's pretty focused and no-nonsense and stressed about doing a good job, so I can understand why it bothers her.  But I don't think the rest of the crew has the respect for her as a chef to treat the galley as hers and follow her rules in there. 

There's also the fact that Travis keeps complaining about how tired he is pulling double duty, which I don't know that he is actually, but any extra work he's doing is because his best mate Jackass is a lazy fuck.  If I were Travis, instead of sticking up for Jackass I'd be flipping the fuck out on him. 

Travis and Jack are both disgusting and I'm not looking forward to this double date.

[biakbiak]

44 minutes ago, yourmomiseasy said:

Have we ever seen a chef hit the local markets before? 

Ben went once to a local farm. 

[langford peel]

Adrian once scuba dived to the underwater market where Sponge Bob sold him a sea urchin to put on the table.

[AnnaMayWong]

On 7/16/2019 at 6:46 AM, Mr. Minor said:

I hate when Hannah talks. Jackoff is not cute, he's just a lazy AF wanker!

I am  SO  glad that you wrote the above. He’s been irritating from the onset. Never thought that he was cute physically nor behaviorally...just lax and slack...He  IS  a 'right wanker’ ...uggh.

[pasdetrois]

Of course as soon as Anastasia is appointed permanent chef Joao and Hannah attack her credentials. Of course.

Joao hates women. Except for the ones he can bamboozle with his earnest charm. He's overcompensating for something. Just sayin'.

I'm surprised a woman who's spent her career in the male-dominated yachting industry isn't more savvy about crew personalities. Sandy loves the camera time - is her devotion to Joao all an act? Are they angling to be another Lee-and-Kate?

Aesha and Anastasia are two of the few people I can tolerate on this show. Refreshing.

In her talking heads June seemed as if she was barely functional. Clenched mouth and rigid body posture. Maybe she was ill. Or extremely nervous.

Bravo scrapes the bottom of the barren with the Versailles clan. I haven't forgotten that they starved an iguana and didn't even realize it.

Edited July 19, 2019 by pasdetrois

[Red Bridey]

Why on earth haven't they done a Christopher Guest satire of Queen of Versailles with Jennifer Coolidge?  Documentary Now! As the subject of a withering documentary, why would Jackie want to wear the sash from said movie un-ironically? I guess in this world there's no bad publicity.