S04.E02: Recipe for Disaster

[OnceSane]

Quote

The crew's first beach picnic of the season gets off to a very rocky start, ultimately leaving Colin shattered and empty-handed. Meanwhile, Chef Mila faces her biggest challenge yet, baking. And Hannah realizes Mila may not be up to the standard she’s used to. Joao continues to have growing pains in his new leadership position as he attempts to get his deckhand Jack in line. After surviving their first charter, the crew heads out for their first night out when one crew member's shocking revelation leaves a lasting impression.

Airs June 10, 2019.

[BodhiGurl]

Gotta love the chef playing with her hair in the kitchen... ugh... I imagine Craptain Sandy will love the Chef, since she seems to love the crappy staff...

[nytonc]

I would die before I’d serve that shit dinner to the guests. So far it appears Chef Barfy has no business cooking on a mega yacht. 

[Mindthinkr]

Quick. Someone get me out to that boat stat so I can save the day. Superman, are you listening? 

[pieinmyeye]

The chef said she moved to France to go to cooking school. Did she actually attend any classes?

[BodhiGurl]

Craptain Sandy grew up slaughtering animals... go figure.

[pieinmyeye]

Nothing is your specialty, chef. 

[nytonc]

I can’t stand Hannah but she’s right on the money with her criticism of this “chef”

[Mindthinkr]

Was the chef trying to figure out what the pink gloves were for? Washing dishes you idiot. 

[BodhiGurl]

They have got to be kidding us with this ridiculous excuse for a "chef". Come the heck on. And she's playing with her hair AGAIN. Sweet jeebuz kick her off NOW.

[mbaywife123]

God grief Milla, Hannah is being polite to you instead of telling you to your face that your cooking sucks.

Hannah is following protocol by telling Captian Sandy about you lack of skills and not going off on you directly.

Captian Sandy is the one who needs to see what is going on and deal with your incompetence and culinary non-skills.

Edited June 11, 2019 by mbaywife123
Added a few words.

[Mindthinkr]

Vodka soaked tampon? What’s with this potty mouthed stew...

[mbaywife123]

Gee I wonder if Mila realizes that Captian Sandy likes women ! Mila just earned her ticket home with her totally inappropriate homophobic remarks!

[PaperTree]

That was fun!  Nice finish with Chef Barfy's homophobic little rant.  

These guests appear to have no clue what first class is like.  This isn't it, yet they seem happy.

That microwaved meat looked tough, unless they have really dull knives.

"Naughty schoolboy slapping me ass on the bridge" lol  Jack's pretty useless, but I love the accent.

Who owns the property at the private beach?  They need a better spot.  Ugh.

Chef Barfy is incompetent.  An hour late to throw that lunch together.  What has she been doing since breakfast, where all I saw was some ugly thick sliced meat?

No tequila!!!  Then throw 2 bottles at once?  And try to catch them together?

Toss them both out of the frat!  Then of course karma blows up a storm.

"I'm not a butcher, I'm not a baker"  She's barely a cook.

I made better cakes in Home Ec class with powdered milk and eggs in high school.  Duncan Heinz makes a great cake.  As Ana showed, it's not that hard even from scratch. 

Now she's insulted the guests know she didn't make the cake,  Stop it!  She escaped blame for that dreadful icing job.  Almost as ugly as the nachos.

Aesha is pretty weird.  Colin, google NZ Kiwi, it's your friend.

[bosawks]

A chef who can’t cook, appears insistent upon violating all rules of safe food handling and is an unrepentant homophonic asshole.

Well done BRAVO, somewhere in the world there’s a bridge and some Billy goats who are missing someone..

[dosodog]

Mila.  Just.  WOW. I'm trying to understand different cultures and Russia definitely is not friendly to all. 

 

Good for Hannah and Joao!  So far?  No poking or pushing buttons.  Also?  I think Joao is doing great.  Professionally and personally.

But Mila?

 

[pieinmyeye]

Oxygen thief. So true! I wish Jack had stuck his tongue down guy whose name I can’t remember throat.

Edited June 11, 2019 by pieinmyeye

[mbaywife123]

1 minute ago, pieinmyeye said:

Oxygen thief. So true!

I laughed so hard at that. Loved it, he put the whammy on her!

38 minutes ago, pieinmyeye said:

The chef said she moved to France to go to cooking school. Did she actually attend any classes?

I think she listened thru an open window on a ladder.

[pieinmyeye]

3 minutes ago, mbaywife123 said:

I laughed so hard at that. Loved it, he put the whammy on her!

I think she listened thru an open window on a ladder.

I think she just walked by the door one day.

[mbaywife123]

4 minutes ago, pieinmyeye said:

I think she just walked by the door one day.

Ala Mrs. Doubtfire (changed for the situation):

I saw her Captian, it was a run by Cordon Bleuing!

[breezy424]

This season looks like it's going to be pretty interesting.  I like the interior crew.  Ok.  Kiwi girl is a bit strange but at least she's upbeat.  Ana seems like a great worker and she actually should be the chef at this point.

Exterior?  Joao has definitely improved since last season so far.  Fake teeth is lazy and I don't find him all that cute.  We'll see if he lasts the season.  I've always like Collin.  The other guy I'm not too sure about although I did appreciate him in the van with Mila's homophobic remarks.

[Emmeline]

Oh dear god, not Captain Sandy’s friend with the sex toys again.

Mila reminds me of Yoko Ono.

Edited June 11, 2019 by Emmeline

[howiveaddict]

1 hour ago, BodhiGurl said:

They have got to be kidding us with this ridiculous excuse for a "chef". Come the heck on. And she's playing with her hair AGAIN. Sweet jeebuz kick her off NOW.

My grandma is rolling in her grave. That was her biggest pet peeve , in the kitchen.

1 hour ago, mbaywife123 said:

Gee I wonder if Mila realizes that Captian Sandy likes women ! Mila just earned her ticket home with her totally inappropriate homophobic remarks!

Wonder if Mila knows her boss is Satan Andy?

52 minutes ago, pieinmyeye said:

Oxygen thief. So true! I wish Jack had stuck his tongue down guy whose name I can’t remember throat.

Don't know his name, but I'm in love with him now!

49 minutes ago, mbaywife123 said:

I laughed so hard at that. Loved it, he put the whammy on her!

I think she listened thru an open window on a ladder.

I think she totally lied and never attended any cooking school. Maybe she was the housekeeper who cleaned up after the cooks. But, I doubt she could do that competently either. Just hope she is gone soon.  Looks like next week she is serving :

Spoiler

Canned tuna with mayonaise.  I could take over her job cooking stuff like that.

[njbchlover]

Aside from being a total craptastic chef, Mila has completely lost me with her homophobia and complete disdain for anything other than what she perceives as "normal".  I am disgusted, not only by what she put out there as a chef, but what she put out to the world as a person.  Oxygen thief, absolutely!!  Spot on description!!  I wonder what Sandy will say when she finds out she's harboring a homophobic fake chef on board.  She applauds Putin because he won't allow gay pride parades?  GTFOH with your nasty attitude, nasty resting bitch face and nasty hair-touching, non-washed hands cooking and serving food!!  

Aside from that, she also seems to have such a superiority complex along with an overinflated ego.  "I'm not a butcher"....well, fuck - you're not a chef, either, if you can't carve/shave thin slices of prosciutto.  "I'm not a baker"....well, fuck, you're not a chef, either, if you can't put together a simple vanilla cake and vanilla buttercream frosting.  Doesn't the ship have internet?  Could she not look up a recipe on her phone and follow it?  Isn't that what any person with average intelligence would do?  It's not that hard to bake a decent cake.  Anastasia whipped that cake up in about five minutes, and yes, SHE deserved the credit due for it - not some nasty, egomaniac bitchface fake-chef! 

And, sending out boring sandwiches on white bread toast to a beach picnic, just because the preference sheets said the guests would like sandwiches at lunch?  Wouldn't she think that the toast would get soggy being wrapped in plastic and transported around water to a beach??  Couldn't she figure out how to glam up a simple sandwich?  You're in the south of France - France, where they make some of the most amazing breads in the world and you're toasting what looked like Wonder bread??  Also, I've made better looking brownies from a dollar store box mix.  If you can't bake, you can follow directions, and you can use your imagination to jazz things up a bit - make brownies, but add a topping of some kind, or something.  Don't even get me started on the "filet mignon" she served (after microwaving).  That looked like a very thin piece of filet, and it looked like the guests were having a bit of trouble cutting into it, despite what we heard from them.  It looked overcooked (again, because of microwaving) and unappetizing.  No sear or char on the outside at all.  

Those guests were absolutely the most low key, gracious guests I've ever seen on Below Deck or BDMed.  They seemed to enjoy every minute and their departure made me tear up just a bit.  

All those pictures of amazing food that Sandy said was Mila's - I'm thinking Mila probably stole those pictures from the internet and added them to her CV/resume.  

[HunterHunted]

1 hour ago, Mindthinkr said:

Vodka soaked tampon? What’s with this potty mouthed stew...

Aesha is the one who worked on Phoenix 2.

I'm bringing this up because Sandy will probably lay into someone for giving her attitude or making a face later in the season, but Sandy missed that Mila  completely wanted to stab Sandy during Sandy's remedial lesson on plating.

With the previews for next week, I'm doubtful that Mila attended one of those brief Cordon Bleu seminars. I don't know that I could confidently say she watched a YouTube video about the Cordon Bleu. Canned shrimp and crab? She gave those guests between 8 ounces and a pound of mozzarella in those caprese salads. The preference sheet said cobb salad, not club sandwich. Why does it take hours to make 5 club sandwiches? How much baking soda did she put in that cake? Her plating is truly awful. And she's a homophobe.

I agree with Travis, Mila is an oxygen thief.

Jack is unbelievably lazy. Colin is a dope. Joao is actually tolerable.

[mbaywife123]

Send Mila on the next fresh milk run and sail off without her.

Oops who did we forget? No one of any consequence or importance who is vital to the ship.

Edited June 11, 2019 by mbaywife123
Hit post before finished.

[njbchlover]

6 minutes ago, HunterHunted said:

Aesha is the one who worked on Phoenix 2.

I'm bringing this up because Sandy will probably lay into someone for giving her attitude or making a face later in the season, but Sandy missed that Mila  completely wanted to stab Sandy during Sandy's remedial lesson on plating.

With the previews for next week, I'm doubtful that Mila attended one of those brief Cordon Bleu seminars. I don't know that I could confidently say she watched a YouTube video about the Cordon Bleu. Canned shrimp and crab? She gave those guests between 8 ounces and a pound of mozzarella in those caprese salads. The preference sheet said cobb salad, not club sandwich. Why does it take hours to make 5 club sandwiches? How much baking soda did she put in that cake? Her plating is truly awful. And she's a homophobe.

I agree with Travis, Mila is an oxygen thief.

Jack is unbelievably lazy. Colin is a dope. Joao is actually tolerable.

It's hard to guess, because it looked like she was using an ordinary drinking glass as a measuring cup.  

[HunterHunted]

2 minutes ago, njbchlover said:

It's hard to guess, because it looked like she was using an ordinary drinking glass as a measuring cup.  

Seriously? WTF!!!!!

[Kiss my mutt]

Mila can go eat a bag of dicks! Throwing shade on the man that teared up basically calling him a pussy, not to mention her raging homophobia!

Guess what, Mila, I’m not a butcher but I can slice a ham and alas, I’m not a pastry chef but I can bake a damn birthday cake. Bitch has to go. 

[njbchlover]

2 minutes ago, HunterHunted said:

Seriously? WTF!!!!!

yes - she asked either Hannah or Anastasia if they were using the glass or, it could have been a cup - I don't remember.  They handed it to her and she proceeded to pour ingredients into it and dump it in the bowl.  I don't know what ingredient it was - it could have been flour, sugar, or something else that is white.  Possibly baking soda?  Apparently, she put a lot of it in that mess of a cake.  

[mbaywife123]

Those caprese salads needed less then half of the hunk of cheese she used (pre made/ store cheese of course) cheese is fun to make using your own curds or FFS you are in France home to some of the best craft made cheese in the world.

The woman is obviously a plant for Anastasia to take over in the galley. If not WTH!

[ParadoxLost]

8 minutes ago, mbaywife123 said:

The woman is obviously a plant for Anastasia to take over in the galley. If not WTH!

They have to rehabilitate Sandy, Hannah, and Joao's relationship with the audience and each other.  Mila was selected to do that.  She creates the drama while they are making the returning cast look better than they left them last season.  It also gives them a challenge/obstacle to work together to overcome.

[mbaywife123]

16 minutes ago, ParadoxLost said:

They have to rehabilitate Sandy, Hannah, and Joao's relationship with the audience and each other.  Mila was selected to do that.  She creates the drama while they are making the returning cast look better than they left them last season.  It also gives them a challenge/obstacle to work together to overcome.

Mila is definitely a challenge/obstacle to overcome.

An obtuse one at that. What real "chef" would want to be shown on national TV like that? The money must be really good.

[Hava]

48 minutes ago, mbaywife123 said:

The woman is obviously a plant for Anastasia to take over in the galley.

That is exactly what I am thinking. 

[Delete]

I'm loving Travis so far. "...a janitor on a floating toilet".   "Oxygen thief".  Yes! He's kind of sexy too. 

Aesha, and Anastasia are totally hitting it out of the park. What a nice change from the incompetent losers from seasons past.  

Speaking of incompetent losers...Mila. A homophobe, a lover of Putin, and a shitty cook. Can we request she walk the plank?  Also how does she  not know how to make a good vanilla cake? That is basic baking. 

The guests were an absolute dream. What a sweet group, and very easy to please. I mean they loved the food!!!

Edited June 12, 2019 by Barbara Please

[queenjen]

Only just watched this and haven't caught the comments here yet. 

Did anyone notice just how fckn hot it was as the beach picnic got rained out? 39 degrees Celsius is pretty much unliveable. I wouldn't be wanting to eat those cold toasted sandwiches on a rocky beach. I'd be in the salon in the aircon. Wait. There's aircon, isn't there? On a mega yacht? 

Sounds like Mila doesn't know there's a difference between baking powder and baking soda. I bake for a living and another thing you don't do is get cavalier with your measurements. A tumbler isn't a cup in a recipe. She probably put Tablespoons instead of teaspoons of baking soda and if that cake had not been in a sheet pan, I doubt it would have risen and it'd have tasted like soap. And yet. She wanted to serve it. 

Mila was lying or uncomfortable when talking to toothy Jack about living in Paris to pursue her dream of culinary school. She got all shifty in the eyes. 

And Good God she's serving tinned shrimp and tinned crab. Why not call it a day and order in a truck load of what we call in Australia 'seafood extender /crab/fish stick '. The next charter are obviously more discerning, imagine that nachos being served to that bunch of high maintenance women? 

I see Mila getting shitcanned next episode. We saw someone getting fired and Sandy's words were 'your position is now redundant '. If Anastasia is in the Galley, then Mila is redundant. Goodbye Mila. Go take a sensitivity course before you sojourn beyond the borders of your home country. 

[MVFrostsMyPie]

3 hours ago, nytonc said:

So far it appears Chef Barfy has no business cooking on a mega yacht. 

Or even on a dinghy. 

[nokat]

If I got a free week on the Sirocco at this point I'd say no. Maybe to get a free flight to Nice.
 

[missyb]

So, you do you think will come in to replace chef Mila ???  Speculations, rumors???

I liked the episode. I like the way Hannah took seriously her goal to communicate better with Sandy.  SO far os good with the interior. So I wonder why in previews for the season Sandy is pissed off at interior.

[nokat]

8 minutes ago, missyb said:

So I wonder why in previews for the season Sandy is pissed off at interior.

Because Sandy isn't the best judge of character, or for who is actually getting the job done.
 

[nokat]

52 minutes ago, missyb said:

So, you do you think will come in to replace chef Mila ???

Chef Boyardee?
 

[VagueDisclaimer]

1 hour ago, missyb said:

So, you do you think will come in to replace chef Mila ???  Speculations, rumors???

Spoiler

It’s Ben. 

[queenjen]

Bless your heart @VagueDisclaimer

So glad to hear that. The crew can get back to turning on one another. As long as the guests are fed properly, i can enjoy this shitshow!

[scrb]

Mila thinks Hanna is being fake with her but it was just the first charter.

Hanna is perfectly capable of being blunt and vile to other people.

Sandy was blunt with her and she claimed she respects that.

Then in the van, she was straight out trolling that guy, knowing the things she was saying would upset them, like "I love Putin" because he didn't let gay people be open about their sexuality in Russia apparently.

Her soul is just as disgusting as her cooking.

Edited June 11, 2019 by scrb

[Kiki777]

Mila is not a baker, not a butcher etc.  Bitch you can't even get a job at Subway because it takes you 2 hours to assemble a fcking sandwich.

Oxygen Thief is my new favorite insult.  Thank you, deckie whose name I can't remember!

[snarts]

So not only is Mila incompetent but she's a homophobic asshole to boot.  Lovely.  Looking forward to her quick dismissal.

Enjoying everyone else so far, even Joao & Capt. Sandy, surprisingly...

[bosawks]

I don't know who I despise more?

Mila for making my food porn look like a plate from the freshmen dorm and having the personality of a puddle of vomit, huh, much like her food.

Or BRAVO hiring her to be the first female chef in the Below Deck universe, don't tell me that wasn't on purpose.

[Rhetorica]

This allegation is all over the internet.  So,  true/false?

https://www.cheatsheet.com/entertainment/captain-sandy-from-below-deck-addresses-rumor-that-chef-was-a-plant.html/

[tinaw]

6 hours ago, VagueDisclaimer said:

  Reveal spoiler

It’s Ben. 

The chef from last season. Blanking on his name at the moment. Aiden?

[ParadoxLost]

42 minutes ago, Rhetorica said:

This allegation is all over the internet.  So,  true/false?

https://www.cheatsheet.com/entertainment/captain-sandy-from-below-deck-addresses-rumor-that-chef-was-a-plant.html/

True.  She's a plant and not the only one.  They don't cast this show for competency at luxury yachting.

The difference is that they went too far and are flirting with breaking the forth wall.  Everyone is watching, thinking I don't know how to cook but...I know that made the dish look look disgusting...I know not to do something so gross that it would shutdown a restaurant on camera...I may not be able to bake but I can follow a recipe...I can cook enough to use fresh ingredients instead of boxes and cans.

She made those homophobic comments dead sober while smiling.  It came across as pre rehearsed.  She was looking for an opportunity.