S07.E08: Maja's Story

[Hannah94]

2 minutes ago, calpurnia99 said:

When I was a kid I was obsessed with food. I would ask my mother what was for dinner, what was for dessert first thing in the morning. I would be beside myself over any occasion that involved food like cookout etc. I was always the first one done eating. . I wrote a story: what I like about school and what I don't. It says the best thing about school was: Lunch! Then I go on to describe the food. Halloween I was in my glory. Also Easter, in my glory. I wrote postcards home from summer camp only describing the food to my family. I just saw this postcard: Im having fun, dinner was macaroni and cheese YUM the desserts are really good, we can have a lot of syrup on our pancakes. I miss you. All I wanted to do was eat. But I was not fat because I did not have access to all the food I wanted to eat! My mother actually hid the cookies due to I would eat them and doled them out after dinner.  If food had been around the house I would have not stopped. This is why I don't understand these back stories that by the time I was 5 I weighed 150 and at 8 years old I weighed 200. Where are they getting this food to eat? They can't drive.  Sometimes my brother and I would ride our bikes to a 7/11 and buy candy. But it was not like we had unlimited funds for that.  I suppose I could have eaten an entire loaf of bread. But it sounds like they are going right into the kitchen and helping themselves without consequences. And the parents are filling the house up with junk and letting their fat child eat it.

Yes, this....and how the hell can these families afford the amount of food it takes for a small child to reach 100-200 pounds? Do they not notice that in their budget? I come from a family of 8 kids and our budget was tight; we were definitely considered poor now that I look back on it. But it didn't dawn on me because we were given strict portions of food three times a day, no more, and it never would have occurred to any of us to go into the fridge and just eat mass amounts of food. We ate when we were served meals, period. How any parent can be so clueless to how their young child weighed a hundred pounds+ over a healthy weight eludes me. 

[pdlinda]

6 minutes ago, Hannah94 said:

Yes, this....and how the hell can these families afford the amount of food it takes for a small child to reach 100-200 pounds? Do they not notice that in their budget? I come from a family of 8 kids and our budget was tight; we were definitely considered poor now that I look back on it. But it didn't dawn on me because we were given strict portions of food three times a day, no more, and it never would have occurred to any of us to go into the fridge and just eat mass amounts of food. We ate when we were served meals, period. How any parent can be so clueless to how their young child weighed a hundred pounds+ over a healthy weight eludes me. 

Most of the parents (mostly mothers but also fathers and/or other close family members) are obese themselves, so that type of eating is, apparently, what was modeled for them.  As far as the funds to buy all the food, most heavily caloric starchy/sugar/highly processed foods are from the "middle aisles" of the market that are available in bulk and are less expensive...very few fresh produce items or fresh proteins.  I think a lot of the junk carb snacks might be in clearance status (day old stuff).

[rozanne]

Maya puts on this calm act when she is talking to Dr Now or the therapist. Very sedate and agreeable. Then shows her true colors later with poor Christian.

At first I thought Chris shunn was passive aggressive. But in a verbally abusive relationship like that, a person can shut down and detach. I can't believe he lasted a day with her.

Her mother gives her money and she claims she doesn't love her and abandoned her. Maya is a drama queen, has some mental issues as well. It does not surprise me she did not follow through with the surgery plan.

Where does Maya get money for all these outfits of hers. and the food??? She doesn't dress like most of the patients on the show, who throw on any kaftan to cover themselves

[Twopper]

6 hours ago, calpurnia99 said:

When I was a kid I was obsessed with food. I would ask my mother what was for dinner, what was for dessert first thing in the morning. I would be beside myself over any occasion that involved food like cookout etc. I was always the first one done eating. . I wrote a story: what I like about school and what I don't. It says the best thing about school was: Lunch! Then I go on to describe the food. Halloween I was in my glory. Also Easter, in my glory. I wrote postcards home from summer camp only describing the food to my family. I just saw this postcard: Im having fun, dinner was macaroni and cheese YUM the desserts are really good, we can have a lot of syrup on our pancakes. I miss you. All I wanted to do was eat. But I was not fat because I did not have access to all the food I wanted to eat! My mother actually hid the cookies due to I would eat them and doled them out after dinner.  If food had been around the house I would have not stopped. This is why I don't understand these back stories that by the time I was 5 I weighed 150 and at 8 years old I weighed 200. Where are they getting this food to eat? They can't drive.  Sometimes my brother and I would ride our bikes to a 7/11 and buy candy. But it was not like we had unlimited funds for that.  I suppose I could have eaten an entire loaf of bread. But it sounds like they are going right into the kitchen and helping themselves without consequences. And the parents are filling the house up with junk and letting their fat child eat it. As soon as I became an adult I did develop a weight problem, because I could get food anytime I want. Once I was so embarassed I was around 11 years old eating out with a friend's family they pointed out I was finished with my ice cream sundae already. The rest of the people were not even half done.

Well, I nearly ate a loaf of Roman meal bread once.  I was 10 years old, reading "Gone with the Wind" and Scarlett had sworn she would never be hungry again.  I probably did eat about 6 slices in sympathy. 

We used to ride our bikes a lot, an we would sometimes stop at a hamburger place in the neighborhood for a burger and coke, but never fries.  It wasn't that we disliked fries;  we just didn't want to spend a lot of money on food.  We would also buy candy at a nearby drug store.   I am sure we rode off all the calories.  

I can also eat a sleeve of thin mints at a time.  My mother tried to teach me "one in each hand" so that I wouldn't be a greedy gus when it came to cookies.  She was not successful.  I think maybe the 2 cookie rule was from the depression, although her family was well off.  It may be because there were 6 in the family; so if the recipe made 36 cookies, this allowed every one to have 2 cookies each at 3 meals.

About 20 years ago Oprah and a few other shows had a number of programs with seriously overweight toddlers.  Probably a decade ago there was a program where they took the parents of overweight children and aged them to adulthood assuming they would continue to gain at the same weight.  The idea was to make the parents realize the harm of overfeeding the children.

I wonder if these seriously over weight children were taken to the doctor.  Our pediatrician had a height and weight chart and that was the first thing he looked at on regular visits. 

[Taleeya]

37 minutes ago, Twopper said:

About 20 years ago Oprah and a few other shows had a number of programs with seriously overweight toddlers.  Probably a decade ago there was a program where they took the parents of overweight children and aged them to adulthood assuming they would continue to gain at the same weight.  The idea was to make the parents realize the harm of overfeeding the children.

Oh man, I looooved those Maury episodes with the fat babies. They were the best!  Wouldn't it be awesome if one of those kids ends up being a pounditicpant....  Maja's mom had the same attitude many of the moms did - that food equals love.  And coming from an Italian family - I get that.  But even then food wasn't a non-stop conveyor belt.

[Hellga]

In my family food was an expression of love and appreciation - but that was in the form of someone asking the guest of honor what they wanted (such as on the first day of the visit or on a special occasion) instead of eating whatever the person cooking the meal felt like cooking (usually it was - that's what we are having for dinner, either you are eating what you are served or you are having tea and bread).  

My parents did occasionally push food on me when I either weren't hungry or didn't feel like having whatever it is they were having (I still don't like pickled squash!) and it left me convinced that I will never force food on my own children, should I have any, but in my case it was explainable - I was stick-thin as a child, especially between the ages of 6 and 11 when I was growing at the rate of 6+ inches a year (I reached 5'8" by the time I was 11 and only grew another two inches since then).  I was always resisting, though - I wonder that someone who was more compliant would have done and would have weighed...

I do think that most poundticipants who were obese as children without any traumatic events were just following example of their parents/grandparents/other relatives... they saw poor food habits and followed suit.  I grew in a culture where "snacking" was not a thing.  There were your three meals a day - and the only things you could eat outside that were things you harvested yourself in the garden or in the forest (those things are delicious but not fattening, and require effort to pick! especially if it's wild blueberries or strawberries or raspberries that may involve several miles' walk in addition to the actual picking time!).  It didn't occur to me that mindless eating between meals is a thing until I actually started to work in an office and see other people just eat random stuff between meals.  I still rarely snack, only if I am in the office late working on something that makes my brain hurt so I will get a bag of chips or something... or if someone brings baked goods or if there are leftover dessert or kettle chips from a meeting, I may help myself - though I try to time it to be my after-lunch dessert as much as possible. 

[88Keys]

5 hours ago, rozanne said:

She doesn't dress like most of the patients on the show, who throw on any kaftan to cover themselves

Or don't bother to cover themselves at all.  

[kj4ever]

18 hours ago, Hannah94 said:

Yes, this....and how the hell can these families afford the amount of food it takes for a small child to reach 100-200 pounds? Do they not notice that in their budget? I come from a family of 8 kids and our budget was tight; we were definitely considered poor now that I look back on it. But it didn't dawn on me because we were given strict portions of food three times a day, no more, and it never would have occurred to any of us to go into the fridge and just eat mass amounts of food. We ate when we were served meals, period. How any parent can be so clueless to how their young child weighed a hundred pounds+ over a healthy weight eludes me. 

My Aunt and Uncle were junk food fanatics.  They were also both thin, but they didn't overindulge.  Their child on the other hand was a complete addict by the time she was 4 and was one of these kids that had to be 200 by 4th grade.  They would go on kicks where they would try to put her on a diet, but it never lasted long.  It was like taking heroine from a drug addict and sitting them in a room full of heroine and telling them "but you can't have any."

I'll never forget one of the last times I babysat for her.  She was like 11 or 12 and it was New Year's Eve.  Of course when I was watching her they'd put these strict guidelines on her food.  I was just sick of arguing and fighting and let's face it,, by the time she was 12 she was twice my size.  I told her have at it and that kid ate a whole cake, every ounce of ice cream in their freezer, and there were several gallons, I don't know how many bags of chips, and a whole pan of mac-n-cheese that was supposed to be for the next day.

I am still amazed to this day.  My Aunt and Uncle were lazy and they didn't want to deal with her fits so they just let her do what she wanted most of the time.  They didn't want to take the advice of the doctors and start eating healthy, so they go into the whole "fat acceptance" movement.  Last I heard she could probably be a subject of this show, and she still lives with her parents and has a small child.  Our family bailed on them years ago after the drama got to much, but that is exactly how a child becomes so huge.

[Minivanessa]

2 hours ago, kj4ever said:

. . . that is exactly how a child becomes so huge.

That is so sad - and I appreciate your sharing it.

In a couple of recent episodes we saw patients who had been super obese as kids. IIRC in each case their mothers reported what I call an "oh, duh" response when the child's pediatrician pointed out that at something like age 10 or 12, the kid was already 200 pounds. I think it was Holly and Brandon. Holly's mother - who displayed all the empathy and human kindness of a canned ham and called herself "religious" - reported that on a TH with a blank, "gosh we had to think what we could do" sort of statement. I think she said something like that was when they realized something was wrong. I'm staring at the TV in absolute shock. What the Actual F*ck? Your elementary school age kid weighs TWO HUNDRED POUNDS and the first time you knew something was really wrong was the weigh-in at the doctor's office? IIRC Brandon's mother made similar comments.

I just can't with these people. 

Edited February 25, 2019 by Jeeves

[Twopper]

1 hour ago, kj4ever said:

My Aunt and Uncle were junk food fanatics.  They were also both thin, but they didn't overindulge.  Their child on the other hand was a complete addict by the time she was 4 and was one of these kids that had to be 200 by 4th grade.  They would go on kicks where they would try to put her on a diet, but it never lasted long.  It was like taking heroine from a drug addict and sitting them in a room full of heroine and telling them "but you can't have any." 

UVa puts out a daily report that I get in my email every morning.  Today it had a link about a study of obesity in Hispanic children, but I think the results would probably extend to all American children.    Here is the link;    https://www.wvtf.org/post/why-obesity-afflicts-so-many-hispanic-children#stream/0

So the idea behind it is that what your aunt ate even before her pregnancy might affect her child's weight.   It also mentioned early introduction of sweet foods before veggies. 

But even then, once a child is that far off the weight charts, you would think a parent would do something.  Our daughter was slightly plump at age 9, but she was a great swimmer and a coach begged her to join a team which she did;  she slimmed down after that.  She didn't stick with the swim team through high school as it was too time consuming, but she did do track and field. 

I have known a number of plump preteens who slimmed down a lot due to a growth spurt and who stayed slim afterward.  But there is a heck of a lot of difference between plump children and kids that weigh more than I do when they are in 4th grade or earlier. 

Not quite sure what went wrong in Maja's family.  Her dad left so her mom worked two jobs, and she stayed with grandparents who probably over indulged her, but that is a lot of overindulging to get that heavy that early. And she probably had no other interests.   It truly is  mind boggling.  And sad.

[Hellga]

1 hour ago, Twopper said:

And she probably had no other interests.   

I think that's key.  They all seem to have no other hobbies or interests besides food.  I remember the main reason I skipped meals as a child (frankly, it hasn't changed in the past 30 years!) is that there were so many far more interesting things - from reading a book, drawing, or playing dress-up with my Mom's and Aunt's old dresses which I found in Grandma's attic to going fishing with my cousin or ice skating or going to the market with my friends.  These people seem to have no joy other than food, their whole world literally revolves around food.  And yes, it is very sad.  Even though as an adult I love food (both tasting and preparing it), it is only one of my many interests.

Edited February 25, 2019 by Hellga

[CousinOliver]

4 hours ago, kj4ever said:

My Aunt and Uncle were junk food fanatics.  They were also both thin, but they didn't overindulge.  Their child on the other hand was a complete addict by the time she was 4 and was one of these kids that had to be 200 by 4th grade.  They would go on kicks where they would try to put her on a diet, but it never lasted long.  It was like taking heroine from a drug addict and sitting them in a room full of heroine and telling them "but you can't have any."

I'll never forget one of the last times I babysat for her.  She was like 11 or 12 and it was New Year's Eve.  Of course when I was watching her they'd put these strict guidelines on her food.  I was just sick of arguing and fighting and let's face it,, by the time she was 12 she was twice my size.  I told her have at it and that kid ate a whole cake, every ounce of ice cream in their freezer, and there were several gallons, I don't know how many bags of chips, and a whole pan of mac-n-cheese that was supposed to be for the next day.

I am still amazed to this day.  My Aunt and Uncle were lazy and they didn't want to deal with her fits so they just let her do what she wanted most of the time.  They didn't want to take the advice of the doctors and start eating healthy, so they go into the whole "fat acceptance" movement.  Last I heard she could probably be a subject of this show, and she still lives with her parents and has a small child.  Our family bailed on them years ago after the drama got to much, but that is exactly how a child becomes so huge.

If that feast is not exaggerated, it sounds like Prader-Willi syndrome.  

[kj4ever]

20 minutes ago, CousinOliver said:

If that feast is not exaggerated, it sounds like Prader-Willi syndrome.  

Not exaggerated at all, but she was tested for that along with another million things.  Her parents were convinced it had to be a medical issue.  

[libgirl2]

7 hours ago, Twopper said:

UVa puts out a daily report that I get in my email every morning.  Today it had a link about a study of obesity in Hispanic children, but I think the results would probably extend to all American children.    Here is the link;    https://www.wvtf.org/post/why-obesity-afflicts-so-many-hispanic-children#stream/0

So the idea behind it is that what your aunt ate even before her pregnancy might affect her child's weight.   It also mentioned early introduction of sweet foods before veggies. 

But even then, once a child is that far off the weight charts, you would think a parent would do something.  Our daughter was slightly plump at age 9, but she was a great swimmer and a coach begged her to join a team which she did;  she slimmed down after that.  She didn't stick with the swim team through high school as it was too time consuming, but she did do track and field. 

I have known a number of plump preteens who slimmed down a lot due to a growth spurt and who stayed slim afterward.  But there is a heck of a lot of difference between plump children and kids that weigh more than I do when they are in 4th grade or earlier. 

Not quite sure what went wrong in Maja's family.  Her dad left so her mom worked two jobs, and she stayed with grandparents who probably over indulged her, but that is a lot of overindulging to get that heavy that early. And she probably had no other interests.   It truly is  mind boggling.  And sad.

My good Hispanic friend since our childhoods was always big as in if this doesn't stop she would be on this show. Somewhere in high school, she started to lose weight, working out and being very active. To this day nearly 40 years later, she is thin (and she is tall and big boned) and very active.  To this day when I see old family pictures, I am taken aback because I forgot how big she was. 

Edited February 25, 2019 by libgirl2

[PrincessPurrsALot]

******** MOD NOTE ********

Pounders, We're in Maja's thread.  Let's take non-show chat to Small Talk please.

*****************************

[Otter]

I have yet to watch Maja's episode.  I have to get into a snarky mean mood.  She sounds just lovely.  :)  But wanted to share this article I found about her.  This is master-level snark.  Made me laugh.

https://hiddenremote.com/2019/02/21/my-600-lb-life-s7e8/

[DropTheSoap]

On 2/22/2019 at 5:32 PM, pdlinda said:

Why didn't she request a wheelchair?????    They are available to all those who are disabled.

I have a feeling that even though she really had no experience in air travel, no one could tell her anything that went against how she thought things would work out for her.

[pdlinda]

2 hours ago, DropTheSoap said:

I have a feeling that even though she really had no experience in air travel, no one could tell her anything that went against how she thought things would work out for her.

I was thinking she may have considered a wheelchair but maybe thought she wouldn't fit in it???  In truth, a standard sized wheelchair would be too narrow for her and who knows how many airlines have over sized wheelchairs.  A reasonable assumption would be that if you can't fit in one airline seat you're too big to fly; even assuming a passenger would have to convert two seats to one that probably wouldn't justify the airline spending a lot of $$$ on a custom sized wheelchair because the demand simply isn't there.

[aliya]

So I've watched this show a few times, did the chat, read the comments here and in reddit.  

Somebody help me understand what Christian's motivation was in suggesting her for the show? If he doesn't think she can do it, why nominate her?  Why risk having to move somewhere as hot and humid as Houston (I'm with him there) to support her if she does lose the weight? 

It's obvious he was checked out of the relationship from the beginning. Did he think she would go to Houston and he would be free back in Portland? I noticed that when she complained about him not telling her he was going to leave, he said he did tell her. I bet he said a lot of things that Maja didn't want to hear, and that his leaving wasn't the shock she wanted us to believe. That said, why start this ball rolling  at all?

[GoldaVining]

I have watched all episodes of My 600 lb life so far. A couple episodes I have watched twice. This is the first episode I turned off. I could name several participants who were harder to watch than Maja, but I guess I finally hit a wall. When she fell out of the car onto the parking garage floor, I turned off the tv. For all I know she's still there.

[Mrs. Hanson]

9 hours ago, aliya said:

So I've watched this show a few times, did the chat, read the comments here and in reddit.  

Somebody help me understand what Christian's motivation was in suggesting her for the show? If he doesn't think she can do it, why nominate her?  Why risk having to move somewhere as hot and humid as Houston (I'm with him there) to support her if she does lose the weight? 

It's obvious he was checked out of the relationship from the beginning. Did he think she would go to Houston and he would be free back in Portland? I noticed that when she complained about him not telling her he was going to leave, he said he did tell her. I bet he said a lot of things that Maja didn't want to hear, and that his leaving wasn't the shock she wanted us to believe. That said, why start this ball rolling  at all?

Okay, it kinda saddens me that I have put thought into this, lol, but here goes:  Cris Shun was setting her up to fail, plus he wanted an out.  Her vindictiveness came out when she began to realize Cris Shun did not love her unconditionally, and she probably felt used by the whole process.  Don't get me wrong, I still think she is all those adjectives I described upthread, but when she felt (not saying she WAS, I am suggesting she felt) used in this whole process, Nasty McNasty became supersized with anger and rage.

Who was the one with the codependent son? Penny?  Maja was worse than her and that is saying something.

[88Keys]

11 hours ago, aliya said:

So I've watched this show a few times, did the chat, read the comments here and in reddit.  

Somebody help me understand what Christian's motivation was in suggesting her for the show? If he doesn't think she can do it, why nominate her?  Why risk having to move somewhere as hot and humid as Houston (I'm with him there) to support her if she does lose the weight? 

It's obvious he was checked out of the relationship from the beginning. Did he think she would go to Houston and he would be free back in Portland? I noticed that when she complained about him not telling her he was going to leave, he said he did tell her. I bet he said a lot of things that Maja didn't want to hear, and that his leaving wasn't the shock she wanted us to believe. That said, why start this ball rolling  at all?

We don't KNOW that he said he thought she would fail.  That is what Maja told us.  IIRC, we never heard Chris-shun actually say that.  I would take anything Maja says with a grain of salt.  

He might have suggested her for the show with good intentions.  Thinking it would give her a chance to be healthy and happy in life.  When he saw she wasn't even going to try when they got to Houston, and then she blamed him for her lack of progress, he was out.  Or maybe he wanted to give her a shot to be healthy before he bailed.  Or maybe her family coerced him into it.  Or maybe he just wanted filmed, documented evidence of what a psycho hose beast she really is.  We don't know for sure, but I personally think it probably wasn't vindictive.  

[sleepyjean]

This was the first episode of this show I've ever seen and WOW. It was really something.

I've been following Amberlynn Reid's "weight loss" journey on youtube (and reading the totally brutal commentary on a different message board) and got curious about how other 600 pound people handle themselves in the world. In the case of Amberlynn, she tells outright lies, edits her videos and is choosy about what she shoots so as to conceal the extent to which her weight affects her. On this show, they really just let it all hang out, don't they?

I watched the Maja episode on youtube, and I think some bits might've been edited out, but what I saw was more than enough. First thing I noticed is the extent to which everything is about the 600 pound person and her suffering. Is this show always like this? I mean, I know each episode is about a particular person, but I was struck by the fact that Maja wasn't just the center of the show, she was apparently the center of the universe as well. The way that woman whined and yowled and complained continuously...surely no one else in the entire history of western civilization has suffered so.

On 2/21/2019 at 7:27 AM, kj4ever said:

There have been a lot of things that have shocked me on this show over the years, but her screaming at Christian that it was all his fault in the doctors office and calling her Mom to tell on him was for sure in the top ten.

The human mind and it's self-protective mechanisms are fascinating. How a woman can make the decision every day, several times a day, to sneak around and feed herself all the way to almost 700 pounds and then turn around and say her choices are her boyfriend's fault? Yet at that same time somehow justify continuing to live with this sabotaging Satan of a partner who was hell-bent on destroying her? It doesn't compute. It takes some impressive mental gymnastics to victimize yourself by eating almost to the point of immobility and then shift the blame to someone else, as if you aren't an independent adult with the agency and ability to direct your own behavior. We saw that she *can* control herself. She did it in front of Dr. Now. She just chose not to control herself with her "boyfriend/partner/spouse/whatever."

On 2/21/2019 at 9:41 AM, Hellga said:

I totally get Christian's checked out look and behavior.  He has been down that road a billion times before, and he knows she will fly into a rage no matter what he says or does.  It's easier to just wait it out and expend as little energy as possible in the process.   When you deal with someone like that, you react the first dozen times or so and then you realize that there is no point and you just treat them as a weather event - nothing you can do just wait for it to pass.   The only question I have for him is why he moved to Texas with her instead of breaking up back in Portland.  My two hypotheses:  when she focused on losing weight she actually behaved decently and he thought maybe she has seen the light of day and wanted to help, or she and her whole family ganged up on him and guilt-tripped him into going with her.  Once he saw that she was hell bent on being a nasty fat bitch, he cut his losses and hightailed it. 

He was sullen and immature. I'm not saying I agree with his behavior, but it was a very human response to his circumstances. In his position, I would have a very hard time being mature about it and taking the high road. He seemed to be gritting his teeth through much of the episode. At times he couldn't even look at her. Maybe what we saw was him choosing passive aggressive and sarcastic as the better option over explosive anger and one ugly scene after another. (In front of cameras, at that.)

I don't think he intended from the beginning to ditch her in Texas.  I think he believed the show was her last chance, and her only chance to ever get to a healthy weight. But I think once they moved, the stress of it all, plus being isolated with her, plus being away from his own support system and coping mechanisms really took its toll. This is a guy who had taken it and taken it and taken it, and figured he'd keep on taking it - until one day he couldn't do it anymore. He was DONE. It happens that way sometimes. People wake up to the bullcrap and all of a sudden, they can't tolerate it. Not for anther day, not another hour, or even another minute. I was surprised that he gave her any notice at all that he was leaving. I would've left while she was out 'running errands' and put a Dear Jane note on the fridge.

(That it happened to be a neat solution to his problem, was an added bonus. Breaking up with her in Oregon would've been long, drawn out, and messy, and she seems like the type of person who would call incessantly until you block her number, and then she'd start driving by your house. Whether it was deliberate or not, he got her packed up and out of the house without any drama, and then slipped away back home, where he could live his life in peace without ever having to see or speak to her again.)

On 2/21/2019 at 3:24 PM, SunnyBeBe said:

Maja was a piece of work, but, I think I liked her more than most here did. lol  Seriously.  I did sort of think bailing on her at the last minute in TX was not kind.  But, I get his point too. To me, when you give your word that you're going to do something and another relies on that promise, you shouldn't pull out, unless they are able to get a replacement.  That's my take on it. 

Under normal circumstances, I would agree, but I think abusive behavior voids those sorts of commitments.  You can't be "kind" to an abuser. They take it as their due and and keep right on treating you like crap.

Edited February 26, 2019 by sleepyjean

[Guest]

I was away and the first thing I did upon returning home was laundry but the SECOND was to watch this episode. And OHMYLORD did it not disappoint!

Of all the gold contained in this show, the standouts were Maja calling her mother in the midst of a fight with Christian and blubbering, "Mooooommmm! Christian is breaking up with me..." (or something similar) This woman is 32 years old!!! That's the kind of shit you pull when you're drunk at a high school party.

My other favorite was the end of the episode where she quits the program and says she's going to do "whatever it takes" to lose weight. Except, of course, to actually lose weight.

But I'm sure those homeless kids were super grateful she swung by to blow up two balloons before she quickly skedaddled away in that refrigerator box on wheels. 

[Lunula]

Wow.

Maja is an incredibly damaged human being. Nothing more to add than what has already been said, but I think if you look it up online you'll see her photo on the Wikipedia page for "real piece of work."

Edited February 27, 2019 by Lunula

[CrazyInAlabama]

I'm so naughty.   I'm going to watch the last hour, and see the grand goodbye meltdown tantrum at Mom's, and then the bye-bye to Christian.     

[Mswldflwr]

The weather ruined knocked out my DirecTV  last week, so this is my first time watching the second hour.  This chick is HORRIBLE.  Wow.  What a miserable spoiled snotty brat.  Cannot stand her.  And I applaud Christian for sticking around even as long as he did.

I wonder if Dr. Now and his staff enjoyed her little tantrum in the exam room.  You know they could hear it throughout the entire office and probably loved it.

Edited February 28, 2019 by Mswldflwr

[CircusPeanuts]

On 2/21/2019 at 10:01 AM, calpurnia99 said:

Christian never saw her eat. She drove so she always drove herself to pick up fast food and eat alone in the car. I think they way she carried her weight, she could still get around but soon she will be 900 pounds and then what?

Dead. 

[aliya]

I can't believe she told the volunteer that her 'spouse' left her and now she won't have children. Good grief. 

If anyone wants a fun group project, we made birthday party bags for parents in our local shelter. We bought favors, paper plates & cups, cake mix and frosting, etc. and put them in colorful bags. This way, when a child has a birthday, the parent doesn't have to feel bad that they don't have the funds to have even a little party. We knew this shelter had cooking facilities, so you might want to check before you buy a bunch of cake mix. 

[kassa]

On 2/21/2019 at 9:54 AM, Twopper said:

erapy for Lola to suggest she contact her dad;   I thought this was  the point where it is suggested the patient write a letter, but not mail it,  to the person that has hurt them. 

Yes, that was asinine.  No matter what story she's been told, she has NO idea what kind of information might not have been shared yet. Toxic relationships can have zillions of layers of toxicity, and telling any patient straight off the bat that they need to initiate contact with the estranged parent for their own mental health is pretty astonishing. A patient could be repressing sexual abuse (or simply not trusting enough to share it yet).  First order of psychiatric business for somebody with this level of eating disorder may be talking about childhood, but approaching that kind of delicate negotiation of boundaries with an absent/possibly hostile parent isn't something they are remotely equipped to deal with until they've dealt with their immediate households.

It also doesn't allow for the possibility (in my opinion possible here) that Dad stopped playing her games at some point and she cut ties with HIM at some point, and retroactively called it abandonment on his part. In my experience, people with this kind of narcissistic disorder can't tolerate being called on it, and will demonize anyone who refuses to accept their version of reality. I think her mother has done this as well (distancing herself from the antics and merely throwing money at the problem. Which, to be fair, is still generous of her.)

Not terribly keen on Christian, but I'm just as willing to believe that he was been telling her all along that he would go with her to get her started, and that it was contingent on her really truly committing to it, and that she insisted of course she would, this time would be different, everything would be amazing etc etc.  The abuse/honeymoon/abuse pattern holds for male victims, too.  If he chose the path of least resistance and agreed to go to Texas, but then instead of being grateful and optimistic in the preparations she was hostile, and then they got to Texas and  the straw that broke the camel's back was her behavior in front of other people (on national television!) he may have simply concluded "oh, this truly IS never going to change. That makes it easy.  Consider me gone."

On 2/21/2019 at 2:05 PM, cynicat said:

Just when I think I can't love Dr. Now more, he goes above and beyond.  Not only did he immediately call bullshit on her only eating large portions, no soda and no snacking, he saw right through the Christian support.  Right out of the gate he said that he thought Christian figured Maja would fail and that he wouldn't have to move.  That Dr. Now has seen it all.

While she wasn't too hard to read and he's obviously been doing this for years and will have a sense of what games people play, remember that the camera crew has been with them for quite a while (weeks?) and witnessed a lot of domestic interaction. Not sure how much advanced information he gets from them, but he certainly could have gotten a heads up about her domineering/his detachment, and it helps move the storyline along if he highlights the main issues between patient and support people. 

On 2/22/2019 at 4:13 PM, ams1001 said:

That would piss me off because I would reserve a small-midsize car because that's what I'm comfortable driving. The last thing I want is to be driving a pickup truck or large SUV for the first time in a strange city.

Oh, yeah. First time ever in Dallas they "upgraded" me to a Cadillac. Like the kind of classic grandpa-smoking-cigars-level Cadillac I haven't seen in New England since the Nixon administration.  Smooth ride, but had to do a 3 point turn in it and it took about 30 points.

To say something nice -- Maja certainly may be the best dressed poundticipant we've seen. Not sure where she sources her clothing, but others could take a page from her book. That said, she appears to have been much better off financially than the majority of people featured.

[CrazyInAlabama]

I wonder if Maja's mother works in retail?      She could get employee discounts, and that's why Maja dresses so well.   When they showed Maja, Mom, and Grandma, they were all very well dressed, and that was a nice change. 

[OrigamiNightmare]

On 2/22/2019 at 7:40 PM, gingerpuff said:

Holy oversharing, batman. When she's volunteering at the end and just blurts out how her "spouse" left her and she can't have kids and the other volunteer is like "ooookay" * sidles away *

Speaking as someone who's very lonely and isolated I might have shared the "my "husband" left me", but probably would have left out the can't have kids part. "my husband left me, and I've just moved here and don't really know anyone and I've just been feeling the need to get out and do more and meet some new people" that sort of thing.

But maaan I've been in a relationship like that. It was a friendship, not romantic (she claimed she had DID) ... and like any abusive relationship they lure you in slowly, usually they can be quite charming, funny, kind, etc., but over time they start to demand more, more of your time, more of your energy, everything becomes dramatic, everything is life and death. And in my case, over the years I watched her fight with and lose friend after friend because they wouldn't put up with her shit, but she never had a problem with me because I just went along with whatever she wanted. And then one day she had a problem with me, and the fight went on for years, it was never resolved because would always bring up what I'd done "wrong" over and over again (I wanted to go back to school). But I was so far "in" that I couldn't see how crazy everything had gotten and I felt like I couldn't leave (she had isolated me to the point that she was my only friend) ... I can almost guarantee you Christian checked out of that relationship long ago, he probably felt trapped and guilty (she was always blaming him for everything, you internalize that even if it isn't your fault), he probably worried about what would happen to her if he left. But yeah, that was essentially what I did, smile and nod just go along with it because it'll hurt less and hopefully you won't make them angry. His was just more snarky and hilarious! "what if there are bedbugs!" "if we find any I'll alert the FBI" Hah!  

I do agree that he did come off as a bit dickish when he wouldn't discuss things with her, but then again she wouldn't have listened to him anyway. And what was that "you don't have that right!" bullshit? But in my experience people like Maja don't really change. They just find new people to draw in and then manipulate. Armchair diagnosis of BPD (though that's a very stereotypical representation of it. It's a complicated disorder that many people don't seek help for). They're vampires.

I'm still getting over the abuse and ramifications of my relationship, many years later. And it took me a long time to recognize her behaviour as abusive (is there a way to DM people? well, if anyone's interested I have stories I could tell lol) and in the end, I didn't leave, she left the relationship very suddenly and without warning (one week talking to me, no fighting or anything, next week wouldn't take my calls). And there are days I still miss her ... relationships are weird.

[Natalie68]

On 2/24/2019 at 9:38 AM, pdlinda said:

Most of the parents (mostly mothers but also fathers and/or other close family members) are obese themselves, so that type of eating is, apparently, what was modeled for them.  As far as the funds to buy all the food, most heavily caloric starchy/sugar/highly processed foods are from the "middle aisles" of the market that are available in bulk and are less expensive...very few fresh produce items or fresh proteins.  I think a lot of the junk carb snacks might be in clearance status (day old stuff).

These foods also have a plethora of coupons.  It is next to impossible to find healthy food coupons.

[Hellga]

3 hours ago, Natalie68 said:

These foods also have a plethora of coupons.  It is next to impossible to find healthy food coupons.

I go grocery shopping about three times a week (I like to buy fresh food in small quantities) and my town has three different grocery stores that I visit on a regular basis depending on what is on my way - I notice that different stores have different produce (and other foods) on sale every week.  If you care to look through sales circulars and visit a couple places - you can probably save quite a bit. And so many vegetables are super cheap, like cabbages and carrots.  And in the summer so much produce can be had for next to nothing...  you can buy it in bulk and pickle it or freeze it to use later.  Other healthy foods like beans and lentils are very cheap if you buy them just dry, especially if you buy them in bulk and not in prepackaged bags.  Eating healthy doesn't have to be expensive if you are willing to invest time into it.  I can understand if someone juggling a job (or two) and household chores and kids wants to save time by buying packaged foods - but virtually all of the poundticipants do nothing all day and absolutely can put in time in finding deals and cooking the food.  They just don't want to, and everything else is not reasons but excuses. 

[Natalie68]

2 hours ago, Hellga said:

I go grocery shopping about three times a week (I like to buy fresh food in small quantities) and my town has three different grocery stores that I visit on a regular basis depending on what is on my way - I notice that different stores have different produce (and other foods) on sale every week.  If you care to look through sales circulars and visit a couple places - you can probably save quite a bit. And so many vegetables are super cheap, like cabbages and carrots.  And in the summer so much produce can be had for next to nothing...  you can buy it in bulk and pickle it or freeze it to use later.  Other healthy foods like beans and lentils are very cheap if you buy them just dry, especially if you buy them in bulk and not in prepackaged bags.  Eating healthy doesn't have to be expensive if you are willing to invest time into it.  I can understand if someone juggling a job (or two) and household chores and kids wants to save time by buying packaged foods - but virtually all of the poundticipants do nothing all day and absolutely can put in time in finding deals and cooking the food.  They just don't want to, and everything else is not reasons but excuses. 

Exactly!  These folks just don't seem to want to invest that time.  

[frenchtoast]

****MOD ANNOUNCEMENT****

Let's bring this back to the episode please and away from grocery shopping and listing what's in your cart and what you do with it. Please and thank you.

[aliya]

On 2/28/2019 at 3:56 PM, kassa said:

It also doesn't allow for the possibility (in my opinion possible here) that Dad stopped playing her games at some point and she cut ties with HIM at some point, and retroactively called it abandonment on his part. In my experience, people with this kind of narcissistic disorder can't tolerate being called on it, and will demonize anyone who refuses to accept their version of reality. I think her mother has done this as well (distancing herself from the antics and merely throwing money at the problem. Which, to be fair, is still generous of her.)

Considering how she called Christian her spouse all the time, who knows what else she's lying about? She likes the attention and the sympathy. "My father doesn't talk to me."  "My spouse left me."

As they say in the old movies, "Tell it to the Marines."

One reason I liked doing corporate legal work instead of private practice is that people lie. I got tired of trying to help people who wouldn't tell me the truth and then were surprised at the outcome. At least in corporate work, everybody's bonus depends on getting things done and facilitating the process; not throwing up roadblocks.

[Hellga]

2 hours ago, aliya said:

One reason I liked doing corporate legal work instead of private practice is that people lie. I got tired of trying to help people who wouldn't tell me the truth and then were surprised at the outcome. At least in corporate work, everybody's bonus depends on getting things done and facilitating the process; not throwing up roadblocks.

One would think that in something as important as their health, people would have a vested interest in telling the truth.  As if.  

[aliya]

21 hours ago, Hellga said:

One would think that in something as important as their health, people would have a vested interest in telling the truth.  As if.  

Hey, I only eat grapes and yogurt. 😄

[CrazyInAlabama]

I'm watching the rerun, and the 'fall' out of the car, and the crying without any tears ranks right up there with Steven Assanti's golf cart flop.    

[mmecorday]

Quote

Hey, I only eat grapes and yogurt. 😄

And I only eat sugar-free jam!

[Mrs. Hanson]

9 hours ago, CrazyInAlabama said:

I'm watching the rerun, and the 'fall' out of the car, and the crying without any tears ranks right up there with Steven Assanti's golf cart flop.    

I was thinking the same thing!!  And her zero to sixty screaming match in the doctor's office was even more epic the second time around.  Chri-Shun was a bit dickish in his shutting down and not talking to her but let's face it - he was checked OUT.  He knew she would argue and blame him for the weather being crappy and everything else under the sun, so I can't really blame him.  I would have have just left.  And how funny that she was on her way to the grocery store - not the gym, not the park to walk, not to a support group. Nope, he was forcing her to get pizzas, sushi and pasta.

[CrazyInAlabama]

Christian's demeanor in the doctor's office when she started screaming at him, and called her Mommy to scream and beg him to stay with Maja, was so sad.     I hate to think of what happened off camera through their entire relationship, and how many times he's been demeaned, and blamed by Maja.  I think her mother was terrified that Maja would quit the program, and move home.    I can only imagine the hysteria back in Portland (she was from Portland I think), when Mom and Grandma realized that someone in the family would have to replace Christian if Maja ever qualified for surgery.     I'm sure a short stay to help Maja after surgery would have turned into forever.  

[Mrs. Hanson]

One more thing I noticed on the rerun was Maja was incredibly mobile for a such a huge girl.  That girl took a flight of steps, weighing almost 600 pounds, carrying loads of clothes and stuff and did not seem to be out of breath.  There, that is my redeeming quality about her.  That she doesn't get winded dishing up a bowl of ice cream, lol.

[B in Lee]

On ‎2‎/‎21‎/‎2019 at 2:18 PM, Hana Chan said:

How many sandwiches did she order at the fast food place during the opening? I tuned out after three....

We see a real common denominator in a lot of these cases. They're not just eating a lot. They're eating a lot of cheap, highly processed foods with little real nutrition and a shit ton of fat, calories, sugar and sodium. We don't see much in the way of vegetables or fresh fruit or even rich food that's high quality. I've never seen one of Dr. Now's patient's crying that they gained weight because they couldn't resist the log of herbed Chèvre or that they deserved an entire portion of Oeufs à la neige.  It's all fast food crap...

It's the matter of "calories in vs. calories expended" that matters. A bajillion calories of 5 star grub or fast food delights - doesn't matter.

[B in Lee]

On ‎2‎/‎22‎/‎2019 at 9:11 AM, Jeeves said:

^^This is about Maja's claim that someone "lied" to her on the phone about how far she would have to walk at Houston Intercontinental Airport (IAH). I wish I could "like" this post more than once. Because yes that's how things work at airports. Flights can have gate changes in a twinkling for many reasons.

During the live chat, I called shenanigans on her little hissy fit about walking at IAH. Hope it's okay expand on that here.

First, I'm not sure who Maja claimed to have talked to when she asked about airport walking distances. Unless it was an extremely well-informed *airport* customer service rep, no way that person would have known the physical dimensions of the terminal/concourses and distances between those and baggage claim. As @TwirlyGirly said, airline reservation agents don't have that information. I worked for years at a major airport and then after I retired I volunteered for a few years as a "hospitality ambassador" out in the terminals answering questions and giving assistance to the traveling public. I know a TON about that airport - and no way could I tell anyone the actual distance they would have to walk from their gate when arriving on Flight XXX.

Because, see above. Even if anyone has a list of the walking distances from each gate to baggage claim, there's no way to know in advance for sure what gate the flight will be using when it lands. BTW, what I *could* tell anyone asking that question would be, contact your airline and be very specific about your need for assistance between the gate and baggage claim.

Airlines are required by law to provide accommodations for passengers with disabilities including mobility impairments. I have several friends who although not wheelchair users in daily life, have enough mobility issues that they just can't walk the long distances presented by most airports these days. So they request, and their airlines provide, wheelchair service at departure and arrival airports.

And here's where I really saw the shenanigans on this episode: there was a frigging GOLF CART in the background, carrying passengers down the concourse, in the scene where Maja was whining about hurting in IAH and having to sit down. Those carts are ubiquitous at major airports. Maja could have arranged for assistance to get her from the gate to baggage claim. Even if she was too large for their wheelchairs (we don't know if she was), they could have put her in a golf cart. She didn't arrange anything, though. We got the made for TV drah-mah instead. 

And we did see in a recent episode that airport personnel are very accommodating in helping people get around the airport, through the security points and to their seats on board the aircraft, if necessary. Why some of these patients can manage to do this and others just freakin' lose it at the least inconvenience is puzzling - the only answer can be, it's for The Drama Of It All.

[Hellga]

Her Supersized episode airs tonight at 10pm Eastern. I plan to watch.  I want to see more of Maja vs. Christian!

[Twopper]

7 minutes ago, Hellga said:

Her Supersized episode airs tonight at 10pm Eastern. I plan to watch.  I want to see more of Maja vs. Christian!

I think she was the person with the little greenish Kia, but she didn't fit into the SUV at the airport.   I need to watch this again just to see her get into that car.  I have parked next to a similar car twice recently, and both times I looked at it and wondered how she fit into it.  I think I can FF thru most of the rest of it.

[SuzieQ]

Just watching this now, but for her size, she is one of the most mobile and active people on this show that I've seen for awhile.  She drives and they show her going down the stairs, so she must go up them as well.

[CrazyInAlabama]

I can imagine that Maja could fit into some brands of cars better than others, but I call bull on her 'fall' out of that car.  It's a strong second place on fake falls to Steven Assanti and his golf cart flop.     I wonder if the supersized will have interesting information, or just filler the way they usually seem to have.