S08.E07: Can I Trust You?

[OnTime]

2 hours ago, Booger666 said:

Per Linkedin Luke’s work experience shows no promotions or job growth.  He doesn’t name an employer but uses generic “Engineering Firm”.  He actively follows is a well known temp agency.  He states he is a certified Professional Engineer, but a search of the state board for his last name came up with nothing

Does he have an engineering degree?

This show really blurs the lines as what the person really does for a job. For example, account executive, business manager, event planner, boat designer, it is not clear.

However, Civil Engineer is very impressive. Either is he is one or he isn't one. Can't blur the line there!

Edited February 14, 2019 by OnTime

[LuvMyShows]

3 hours ago, lids said:

Jasmine comments about the sexy librarian theme were so weird to me. That look has nothing to do with nerds. The sexy librarian is supposed to be about subdued sexuality lurking under the surface. There’s also power and intelligence linked with that persona. Not geeky, insecure, lack of sex appeal nerdiness like Jasmine was portraying it. It would be like if a boyfriend/fake husband said they liked the sexy nurse look and the girlfriend talked about how she hates the sight of blood. Jasmine continues to lack insight on human nature.

This so much!  She reminded me of the hysterical SNL skit (with Melissa Villasenor, who I usually hate, and Aziz Ansari) where the guy and girl are in bed, and he wants her to talk dirty.  She doesn't quite get it, but tries anyway, and the things she comes up with are so off-the-mark and terrible.  

[Empress1]

4 minutes ago, LuvMyShows said:

She reminded me of the hysterical SNL skit (with Melissa Villasenor, who I usually hate, and Aziz Ansari) where the guy and girl are in bed, and he wants her to talk dirty.  She doesn't quite get it, but tries anyway, and the things she comes up with are so off-the-mark and terrible.  

Chris Rock did a bit about this on an early album, about how there's nothing worse than bad phone sex. "What are you gonna do when you see me?" "Talk."

[Lily247]

On 2/13/2019 at 10:19 AM, aphroditewitch said:

Because she signed a contract and can be sued for breach of contract. If she was sued, the courts could side against her especially since the abuse does not seem to be physical. I would be willing to bet that the contracts became more strict after Heather and Derek. 

I wish that she would just start ignoring him or at least keep him at arms length and be politely distant with him for the rest of the experiment, sleep in separate beds too. She not only saves her dignity and plays by the rules of the show by not skipping out, but I guarantee that that would elicit some kind of reaction from him. 

Also, AJ is kind of wierd. Like, socially off. I only watch snips of this show here and there but I would be very very surprised of he has had a gf in the past 10 years. When he says he just doesn't want to eat alone, I assumed it was in a metaphorical way, but it looks like he was very, very literal about it. 

Edited February 14, 2019 by Lily247

[Booger666]

21 minutes ago, OnTime said:

Does he have an engineering degree?

Yes, he appears to have a Bachelor of Science in Civil Engineering.

[doyouevengohere]

I didn't believe Puke's story about his friend.  I think he just made it up for a reason for his douchy behavior. It would get him sympathy.  I mean he supposedly was okay with people coming over and drinking at the housewarming and then leaving in their cars enough to say mean things about Kate standing in the corner.  AND he bought her wine.  So he needs to shut up.  None of this is Kate's fault.  I do believe she entered into this for the right reasons, but I think that she is really messed up about relationships and extremely vulnerable b/c of her parent's divorce and issues.  I don't think either one should have been picked for this show.  Kate is too fragile with stuff right now and Luke is just a prima donna weirdo.  Kate will defend him because she doesn't want to end up like her parents.  I feel bad for her getting Puke as a husband.  If you are married with someone (even in this weirdo experiment) in bed with them, cuddling, very close together, spooning, and your spouse kisses you, it's because it's natural and a loving thing to do; trying to blame Kate for forcing him to kiss her is ridiculous.  Then don't sleep in the same bed and cuddle with her, you idiot!

I hope that next week Kate asks Puke's mother about his "best friend" that died and it blows up in his face.  That would be amazing.

AJ needs to keep up with his meds or wear a rubber band to snap when he's feeling pissy and then maybe their marriage can survive.

It's painfully clear to me why Jas is single.  Her ex probably wasn't against having children; he was just against having children WITH HER.

Edited February 14, 2019 by doyouevengohere

[Gem 10]

2 hours ago, Ohwell said:

Someone who's truly clueless?  Someone who perhaps has been told all her life that she's beautiful, so automatically assumes that she must be desirable?  Someone who cannot accept that Luke doesn't find her desirable?  I don't know, I'm just grasping for straws.

All I know is, I find her as annoying as Luke, albeit in different ways.

I find her annoying too at this point.  Being beautiful is getting her nowhere once she opens her mouth .. barely.

[Gem 10]

58 minutes ago, Booger666 said:

Yes, he appears to have a Bachelor of Science in Civil Engineering.

Well now I know where all those so called “friends” came from .. the whole engineering department, who he probably barely knows .

[Gem 10]

2 hours ago, Neurochick said:

One never knows why people do the things they do.  Everybody's different.

Once she saw that beard, she fell in love instantly.  He’s such a handsome fu..ker.

[cardigirl]

I see that the discussions here have taken the turn that Kate is in a dangerous situation and is being emotionally abused and is powerless to leave her abuser. I'm not 100% certain that is true, and I'm really having trouble with the show acting very concerned about Kate and Luke when they really didn't step up for Heather at all. Maybe they learned a lesson there. I don't know. 

I've not been as harsh about Luke in my viewing, I think he is totally disinterested in Kate, but hoping to last the six weeks.

She has not been shown to be very interesting. At least from what I have seen.  She speaks like she has lockjaw. I'm sure it's the way she is edited, but man, there is very little about her that sparks any interest from me.  I'm really sorry.  If she is truly in danger, then she should get out. But I haven't seen that.  To be really shallow, what the F is up with Kate and her friends' hair? Does no one in her circle believe in going to a hair stylist? When she was talking to her two friends, grasping the white wine glass and they were saying they were worried for her, all I could think about was how awful all three of them had styled their hair. Put it up in a bun, comb or brush it, for gosh sakes. All three of them looked like they had no idea what a mirror was. 

/rant.

Edited February 14, 2019 by cardigirl

[Lily247]

13 minutes ago, cardigirl said:

  To be really shallow, what the F is up with Kate and her friends' hair? Does no one in her circle believe in going to a hair stylist? When she was talking to her two friends, grasping the white wine glass and they were saying they were worried for her, all I could think about was how awful all three of them had styled their hair. Put it up in a bun, comb or brush it, for gosh sakes. All three of them looked like they had no idea what a mirror was. 

/rant.

From what I have seen, her hairstyle just looks really overdone and outdated. I would recommend her going to a salon for a professional blowout, I think it would do wonders for her. 

[doyouevengohere]

I don't think he's an abuser; I think he just is a princess that blames others instead of taking responsibility.  He is also really bad at communicating.  Kate is problematic, but she didn't deserve him.  Kate has issues;but she's not trying to hurt him or make people think less of him; Puke is just mean and is trying to show how not mean he is by telling the producers to get a sympathy edit or something; and then denying it when questioned. He's trying to  plant seeds so he doesn't have to be the "bad guy" on tv, so the "bad" focus will be on Kate.  I think he's very used to lying to make himself look better.  Kate may be an alcoholic; but nothing shown on the show would suggest that.  When he first accused her of "forcing" him to kiss her he stated they had both been drinking on the honeymoon.  So maybe, manipulative would be a better word for him.  For all her issues, I do think Kate is trying to make it work in a sincere way.

Edited February 14, 2019 by doyouevengohere

[aphroditewitch]

3 minutes ago, doyouevengohere said:

I don't think he's an abuser; I think he just is a princess that blames others instead of taking responsibility.  He is also really bad at communicating.  Kate is problematic, but he didn't deserve him.  Kate has issues, but Puke is just mean and is trying to show how not mean he is by telling the producers to get a sympathy edit or something.  He's planting seeds so he doesn't have to be the "bad guy" on tv.

A person can be bad at communicating without acting the way Luke does. He fits the signs of an abuser. Several of the people on the show over the years have not been great at communicating but they were not abusive. His lies about the drinking were a classic abuser tactic. 

[Ilovepie]

I have a hard time calling what Luke is doing abuse. Most what we are discussing here focuses on comments he has made, namely, "I feel repulsed and dead inside", and "I am not attracted to you", and "I think you are drinking too much". Two of these things he is talking about himself; he is not calling her names or doing anything to her. Is it nice? Hell no! But I don't think it's abusive. The alcoholic comment is a manipulative lie, but I still don't think it's abusive. If anything, it's anger inducing and it still says more about him than her.....

I still think he came on this show for a paycheck only. I think if he was attracted to the girl the producers chose, great; if not, just play nice and ride it out until the six weeks are up. It's gone horribly wrong for him though because he is not attracted to the girl chosen but she likes him, and she is not content to ride it out but is pushing him to be a real husband. I don't think he considered this possibility and is handling it totally wrong. He is still trying to play nice (hence, the hugs, smiles, etc.) but can't actually stand Kate smothering him and pressuring him and it's coming out.

Those stupid "experts" knew what he was when they chose him, hence the title "hustler" at the beginning. I think they set this couple up for drama only with no real expectation that it would work. What is working is that everyone is talking about it, so the show got what it wanted.

[Elizzikra]

Quote

I have a hard time calling what Luke is doing abuse. 

I don't feel like I can judge, based on just what we see, whether Luke is "abusive" or not in a clinical sense but I have seen enough to think he's a dick.

Quote

what the F is up with Kate and her friends' hair? 

I'll voice an unpopular opinion and say that I don't mind Kate's hair. I think it has a lot of natural wave/curl and is maybe a little unruly. I don't think that she is intentionally going for a Farrah Fawcett look but I think the layers make it somewhat manageable and help it frame her face. I imagine she can achieve other styles but with a lot of work and maybe she just doesn't want to put the time into it.

Quote

Most what we are discussing here focuses on comments he has made, namely, "I feel repulsed and dead inside"

Abusive or not, this is a really damaging thing to say. I had a college boyfriend that I loved beyond all reason (literally - there were many reasons NOT to be in a relationship with him and I ignored every single one of them). He said something very similar to me one time after we had been kissing and it destroyed me (it turned out he was a closeted gay man, so while his feelings of revulsion were authentic, they had less to do with me personally and more to do with his lack of desire for any female). Even after I found out why our relationship couldn't and didn't work, I heard those words in my head every single time I kissed another person. It took a very long time to get past it. I don't know that Kate will experience it in the same way but it really struck a chord with me.

That said - focusing for a minute on what Luke said rather than the fact that he chose to share it so bluntly - repulsed? Dead inside? That's pretty extreme, I think. I've kissed guys I wasn't attracted to. I had a drunk guy grab me and stick his tongue in my mouth at a frat party - unwelcome and uninvited. It was gross - maybe I could push it to repulsive. But a well-intentioned kiss with an attractive woman that you just married (granted, a stranger) - I can understand not feeling sparks or not finding it particularly exciting or not seeing fireworks or whatever. But "repulsed and dead inside" says that either Luke is a huge drama queen or there's more to it than that. 

Quote

he appears to have a Bachelor of Science in Civil Engineering

I don't know anything about the field - can you actually get a job with a bachelor's or do you need advanced degrees to do much career-wise in that field?

Edited February 14, 2019 by Elizzikra

[qtpye]

On 2/13/2019 at 9:33 AM, Jaclyn88 said:

I have a bunch of pictures of my exes on my phone. Not creepy nude ones which I think would be inappropriate to keep, but ones with memories. If my husband asked me to delete them, I would.. but besides the fact that I forget that they're there most of the time.. sometimes when i'm bored I like to look through all of my old pictures and it's nice to look back on good memories you had with people who were once important to you in your life. Doesn't mean you still want the person (believe me, I don't ), but the memories are there. Keeping nudes though is beyond inappropriate in my opinion.

As Dr. Phil says, what is Kate pretending not to know? Stop kissing Luke. He told you himself that he's repulsed by you and felt dead inside when you kissed him before. I'm all for being married and staying committed, but he is NOT INTERESTED and never will be. Why does she keep putting herself out there when he's constantly putting her down? If you have an out, take it already! it's so uncomfortable to watch.

On 2/13/2019 at 10:00 AM, aphroditewitch said:

Luke is an abuser and the show is helping him be abusive. It was gross for the show to do that. All the occasions they showed her drinking her social and most where other people were drinking too. But somehow Kate is the one with a problem? When she brought it up to her friends, they both seemed confused. 

On 2/13/2019 at 10:40 AM, CousinOliver said:

Something about the “dead friend” story didn’t sound right to my cynical ears.  

The friend was not drunk, he was killed by a drunk driver, right?  

Sooooo, Luke “didn’t” drink?  And he feels differently about booze?  And he calls Kate and Keith alcoholics for socially drinking?  

Buuuut, wouldn’t the offense be in getting drunk then driving?  Heck, I’d even give him having a single drink and driving.  It’s not like his friend died from alcohol poisoning or cirrhosis or falling of a bridge while drunk. 

I call this as “Luke was busted being a lying douche, again, a co-opted a sad story to take the heat off his douchebaggery.”   And shame on him for using a tragedy to his benefit.  

On 2/13/2019 at 11:19 AM, Soup333 said:

Not only did they look confused, they looked at her like, "Bitch. Really?" Like this guy is an ass. Why can't you see that?

Uh, yeah. I would be cold hard cash that's exactly what happened. I don't trust that pig as far as I could toss his hipster ass. When Luke is caught in his own bullshit he either acts super coy, "Oh, you want to talk about that now?" His mannerisms become effeminate (and this has happened more than once), he starts to say, "I don't know. I just...*insert bullshit*" That's how he is with Kate. With the experts, who he seems to realize aren't falling for his shit, he gets red in the face and tries to weasel his way out of it by coming up with even more bullshit to cover his actions. I said it before and I'll say it again, that boy has kicked some puppies in his life. Probably not that long ago. Kate's just the latest victim.

I felt like she was just using the game to try and distract him OR to downplay how much she was affected. Her facial expression couldn't lie though. 

I kinda wish Kate would have stopped drinking just so we could see what lies Luke would come up with next. 

I wonder if the producer/s he complained to were male or female. If he was just shooting off his mouth in a bro moment or if he was calculating in his complaints to try and further justify why he isn't attracted to Kate. I don't believe, not even for one second, that Luke's story about his "friend" is even remotely true. 

On 2/13/2019 at 11:25 AM, Retired at last said:

I also think that Puke went to the producers to cry "wah wah, I am feeling pressured by my "wife" to kiss her when she gets rummed up. Why isn't this being treated like anyone else in the Me, too movement?"

On 2/13/2019 at 1:13 PM, LakeGal said:

We were watching Luke and saying he reminded us of the type of men on Dateline that murder their wives.  He tells everyone she is drinking heavily and he's worried about her.  Later she is found dead in a hot tub, bottom of the cliff or stairs.  He blames it on her drinking which he has conveniently told everyone about.  Note to Katie: Don't stand at the edge of a cliff with this creep.

Luke seems like someone who lives a lifestyle he can not afford and really needs the 20k from this show. He might of even pretend that he was being sexually harassed by Kate to squeeze more money out of the show.  

I do not believe his best friend story just because he never mentioned this earth shattering revelation before. I mean, if people were looking for a spouse for you would you not mention you are sensitive to drinking because of tragedy?

I think Kate is honestly very attracted to him and does think this will work out, because he can be very nice to her face. He probably says things like “I’m not attracted to you but you are beautiful and it could come later.” to give her false hope.

[Jade Foxx]

7 minutes ago, qtpye said:

I do not believe his best friend story just because he never mentioned this earth shattering revelation before.

I'm doubting it, too. The story itself could be true, but I'm betting it wasn't his "best friend," but just some other unfortunate classmate he barely knew. He's such a fucking poser.

[Gem 10]

2 hours ago, Ilovepie said:

I have a hard time calling what Luke is doing abuse. Most what we are discussing here focuses on comments he has made, namely, "I feel repulsed and dead inside", and "I am not attracted to you", and "I think you are drinking too much". Two of these things he is talking about himself; he is not calling her names or doing anything to her. Is it nice? Hell no! But I don't think it's abusive. The alcoholic comment is a manipulative lie, but I still don't think it's abusive. If anything, it's anger inducing and it still says more about him than her.....

I still think he came on this show for a paycheck only. I think if he was attracted to the girl the producers chose, great; if not, just play nice and ride it out until the six weeks are up. It's gone horribly wrong for him though because he is not attracted to the girl chosen but she likes him, and she is not content to ride it out but is pushing him to be a real husband. I don't think he considered this possibility and is handling it totally wrong. He is still trying to play nice (hence, the hugs, smiles, etc.) but can't actually stand Kate smothering him and pressuring him and it's coming out.

Those stupid "experts" knew what he was when they chose him, hence the title "hustler" at the beginning. I think they set this couple up for drama only with no real expectation that it would work. What is working is that everyone is talking about it, so the show got what it wanted.

I have to say one thing about Pepper.  Either she is a brilliant actress or she was telling the truth when she gave it to Puke.  She was pissed.  I’ve never seen her like that.  She looked repulsed.  Busted!

[Ilovepie]

1 hour ago, Elizzikra said:

I have seen enough to think he's a dick.

I think we all agree on that. I just think it's a step too far to call him abusive.

[Jade Foxx]

2 minutes ago, Ilovepie said:

I think we all agree on that. I just think it's a step too far to call him abusive.

How about a consistent, intentionally cruel individual. (abusive behavior)

[DrewPaul2010]

On ‎2‎/‎13‎/‎2019 at 12:01 PM, aphroditewitch said:

I can't help but find it incredibly disturbing that someone who has been verbally abused and gaslighted repeatedly is being called an idiot. I find that to be an incredibly dangerous narrative and if people are wondering why people hide the fact that they are being verbally and emotionally abused, they should just read all the criticism directed at Kate. 

What would happen to Kate is she stood up for herself? Exactly what happened to Heather during the season 4. The show would have minimized why Luke was so awful the way they did with Derek. Kate would have gotten the same awful edit that Heather received and been harassed and threatened online. And given the gaslighting from Luke, he would have turned it around on her and claimed she was the one verbally abusing him. And the show would have let him because they have already watched him verbally and emotionally abuse her and have done nothing and they let him call her an alcoholic and barely challenged him on that issue.  

I can't imagine the folks who sign up for this are thinking in terms of who gets what edits and what happened to someone else who was on the show. My perception is that Kate wants this to work, she wanted to be married and was willing to accept the person chosen for her. I question if Luke was even all that ready or anxious to get married in the first place. He hasn't accepted her as his wife. I don't think she's dumb for wanting to make this work...that's why she did this. I wouldn't blame her if she pulled the plug. 

[DrewPaul2010]

7 hours ago, doyouevengohere said:

I didn't believe Puke's story about his friend.  I think he just made it up for a reason for his douchy behavior. It would get him sympathy.  I mean he supposedly was okay with people coming over and drinking at the housewarming and then leaving in their cars enough to say mean things about Kate standing in the corner.  AND he bought her wine.  So he needs to shut up.  None of this is Kate's fault.  I do believe she entered into this for the right reasons, but I think that she is really messed up about relationships and extremely vulnerable b/c of her parent's divorce and issues.  I don't think either one should have been picked for this show.  Kate is too fragile with stuff right now and Luke is just a prima donna weirdo.  Kate will defend him because she doesn't want to end up like her parents.  I feel bad for her getting Puke as a husband.  If you are married with someone (even in this weirdo experiment) in bed with them, cuddling, very close together, spooning, and your spouse kisses you, it's because it's natural and a loving thing to do; trying to blame Kate for forcing him to kiss her is ridiculous.  Then don't sleep in the same bed and cuddle with her, you idiot!

The way that story dribbled out of his mouth with a dead pan affect it appeared he was too busy observing the effect it would have as he told it.  

[humbleopinion]

Anyone else wondering why no Liberty Bell or Rocky statue in Philly montage?

[Ilovepie]

3 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

Abusive or not, this is a really damaging thing to say. I had a college boyfriend that I loved beyond all reason (literally - there were many reasons NOT to be in a relationship with him and I ignored every single one of them). He said something very similar to me one time after we had been kissing and it destroyed me

I can understand being destroyed if someone you “loved beyond reason” said something like Luke said, but would you be destroyed if it was someone you had known less than a week? I think I would be like screw you, two fingers up and I’m out of here. I wouldn’t think I’m being verbally abused. I would just chalk it up to that guy being an asshole. I don’t think I would sustain long term damage. Now if my ex boyfriend I almost married said that, or my husband of 20 years, absolutely.

 I think this is why I think Kate is somewhat responsible for what is happening to her at this point. She is not responsible for the garbage coming out of Luke, but she did sign up for this knowing it was possible that her partner might not find her attractive and she is choosing to stay and defend him despite two experts and close friends questioning that. She has meekly defended herself but she has not told him in no uncertain terms to keep his nasty opinions of her to himself nor even asked him to apologize. She keeps giving him a pass and it’s so frustrating to watch.

[gonecrackers]

I'm not in for making Luke apologize - it won't mean anything to him anyway - it's just words to some people.

I feel the abusive part with him is how he's fucking with her (& not the way she wants - ick). From what we've heard thus far, he's said he's repulsed by her & dead inside when they kissed, has told her "many times" (according to Kate herself) that he is not attracted to her, yet apparently he sleeps & cuddles with her, has good talks (her words) with her, & just generally seems to throw her some fake bones of hope here & there. Many wouldn't be swayed by this act but I'm perceiving she grew up with an "interesting" father, given the unfriendly divorce & his exiting the scene including no contact with the kids. This, along with someone here saying an ex of hers sounded douchey, & her friends behavior showing "here we go again" concerned vibes, shows me Kate might not know how to perceive when she's being mistreated.  And more than that - she married the guy, has signed a contract(s), & has production in her ears. Her head's a-spinnin' right now, & it's not entertaining watching her go through this crap.

Luke is playing it but badly.  I actually find it quite  humorous how it seems he thought Kate wouldn't tell production about his "repulsed & dead-inside" comments & thought they might come alongside him somehow with the tale of Kate's alleged alcohol abuse. It's all been working against him so far. He's obviously trying to take advantage of Kate's sympathies with the drunk driving story - which even if true is pretty abhorrent to use just to save face.

I'm not bugged out by AJ, as he sounds pretty normal on Unfiltered, but this also makes me feel he's playing along - both he & Stephanie are doing so for the sake of the show having something for them to do. I also don't really enjoy their segments due to the lascivious nature; neither do I appreciate closeups of Kristine's boobs. This season is sinking lower than dirt IMO.

Many feel Will & Jasmine are boring, & they are, but they're probably the only thing keeping me in it at this point. I'm kind of enjoying Will stringing her along, because he's not doing it for ill will but just to continue figuring out if they can have a connection.  On Unfiltered Keith said Will likes an intelligent woman & wants a mental connection first. Personally, I think if Jasmine could cool down her genitalia for two seconds, put some glasses on, wrap her hair in a bun & discuss something besides being financially supported, maybe he'll take some notice. She earned higher level degrees but that means nothing in terms of common sense, because she may be blowing a good thing with what seems like a decent enough guy so far.

Edited February 16, 2019 by gonecrackers
misspelling

[LilaFowler]

I think it's wrong to try to place any blame on Kate. It is not her fault that she is being mistreated. She has done nothing wrong and nothing to deserve it.

[endure]

6 minutes ago, LilaFowler said:

I think it's wrong to try to place any blame on Kate. It is not her fault that she is being mistreated. She has done nothing wrong and nothing to deserve it.

I agree to a point but I think she is giving him too many chances and setting herself up for more.  If it were my show I would have had him leave already, for lying if nothing else. Going to the producers claiming she has a drinking problem.... that's just not right.  He has potentially ruined her reputation for life!  I think she is probably a very nice person and she doesn't need a jerk like him in her life.

[Soup333]

29 minutes ago, gonecrackers said:

I'm not in for making Luke apologize - it won't mean anything to him anyway - it's just words to some people.

I feel the abusive part with him is how he's fucking with her (& not the way she wants - ick). From what we've heard thus far, he's said he's repulsed by her & dead inside when they kissed, has told her "many times" (according to Kate herself) that he is not attracted to her, yet apparently he sleeps & cuddles with her, has good talks (her words) with her, & just generally seems to throw her some fake bones of hope here & there. Many wouldn't be swayed by this act but I'm perceiving she grew up with an "interesting" father, given the unfriendly divorce & his exiting the scene including no contact with the kids. This, along with someone here saying an ex of hers sounded douchey, & her friends behavior showing "here we go again" concerned vibes, shows me Kate might not know how to perceive when she's being mistreated.  And more that that - she married the guy, has signed a contract(s), & has production in her ears. Her head's a-spinnin' right now, & it's not entertaining watching her go through this crap.

Luke is playing it but badly.  I actually find it quite  humorous how it seems he thought Kate wouldn't tell production about his "repulsed & dead-inside" comments & thought they might come alongside him somehow with the tale of Kate's alleged alcohol abuse. It's all been working against him so far. He's obviously trying to take advantage of Kate's sympathies with the drunk driving story - which even if true is pretty abhorrent to use just to save face.

I'm not bugged out by AJ, as he sounds pretty normal on Unfiltered, but this also makes me feel he's playing along - both he & Stephanie are doing so for the sake of the show having something for them to do. I also don't really enjoy their segments due to the lascivious nature; neither do I appreciate closeups of Kristine's boobs. This season is sinking lower than dirt IMO.

Many feel Will & Jasmine are boring, & they are, but they're probably the only thing keeping me in it at this point. I'm kind of enjoying Will stringing her along, because he's not doing it for ill will but just to continue figuring out if they can have a connection.  On Unfiltered Keith said Will likes an intelligent woman & wants a mental connection first. Personally, I think if Jasmine could cool down her genitalia for two seconds, put some glasses on, wrap her hair in a bun & discuss something besides being financially supported, maybe he'll take some notice. She earned higher level degrees but that means nothing in terms of common sense, because she may be blowing a good thing with what seems like a decent enough guy so far.

He actually did apologize to her about what he told the producers. But he was on camera so chances were it was all for show. 

[Gem 10]

29 minutes ago, gonecrackers said:

I'm not in for making Luke apologize - it won't mean anything to him anyway - it's just words to some people.

I feel the abusive part with him is how he's fucking with her (& not the way she wants - ick). From what we've heard thus far, he's said he's repulsed by her & dead inside when they kissed, has told her "many times" (according to Kate herself) that he is not attracted to her, yet apparently he sleeps & cuddles with her, has good talks (her words) with her, & just generally seems to throw her some fake bones of hope here & there. Many wouldn't be swayed by this act but I'm perceiving she grew up with an "interesting" father, given the unfriendly divorce & his exiting the scene including no contact with the kids. This, along with someone here saying an ex of hers sounded douchey, & her friends behavior showing "here we go again" concerned vibes, shows me Kate might not know how to perceive when she's being mistreated.  And more that that - she married the guy, has signed a contract(s), & has production in her ears. Her head's a-spinnin' right now, & it's not entertaining watching her go through this crap.

Luke is playing it but badly.  I actually find it quite  humorous how it seems he thought Kate wouldn't tell production about his "repulsed & dead-inside" comments & thought they might come alongside him somehow with the tale of Kate's alleged alcohol abuse. It's all been working against him so far. He's obviously trying to take advantage of Kate's sympathies with the drunk driving story - which even if true is pretty abhorrent to use just to save face.

I'm not bugged out by AJ, as he sounds pretty normal on Unfiltered, but this also makes me feel he's playing along - both he & Stephanie are doing so for the sake of the show having something for them to do. I also don't really enjoy their segments due to the lascivious nature; neither do I appreciate closeups of Kristine's boobs. This season is sinking lower than dirt IMO.

Many feel Will & Jasmine are boring, & they are, but they're probably the only thing keeping me in it at this point. I'm kind of enjoying Will stringing her along, because he's not doing it for ill will but just to continue figuring out if they can have a connection.  On Unfiltered Keith said Will likes an intelligent woman & wants a mental connection first. Personally, I think if Jasmine could cool down her genitalia for two seconds, put some glasses on, wrap her hair in a bun & discuss something besides being financially supported, maybe he'll take some notice. She earned higher level degrees but that means nothing in terms of common sense, because she may be blowing a good thing with what seems like a decent enough guy so far.

I think Puke only started cuddling with Kate in the bed after he was called out on the repulsed anddead inside thing.  It’s giving her false hope.  He’s only doing it to stay on the show.

I honestly have a feeling that Will doesn’t like anything about Jasmine.  He looks bored to death, unless that’s his nature.  If he was matched with Kristene, there would be fireworks.  I may be wrong, but, with a different woman, he would come alive.  No chemistry there at all.  We’ll see next week.  Seems like it’s now or never.

[Elizzikra]

Quote

I can understand being destroyed if someone you “loved beyond reason” said something like Luke said, but would you be destroyed if it was someone you had known less than a week? 

No, probably not.

Having said that, I think that Kate really, REALLY wanted this marriage to work. I've known several highly intelligent and successful women who, particularly as they got into their 30's became really driven toward marriage and kids. A couple of them tolerated some pretty shitty behavior from boyfriends in hope of becoming engaged. It's not a dynamic that I fully understand but I do empathize. Kate reminds me of them.

[LuvMyShows]

2 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

Luke is playing it but badly.  I actually find it quite  humorous how it seems he thought Kate wouldn't tell production about his "repulsed & dead-inside" comments & thought they might come alongside him somehow with the tale of Kate's alleged alcohol abuse. It's all been working against him so far. He's obviously trying to take advantage of Kate's sympathies with the drunk driving story - which even if true is pretty abhorrent to use just to save face.

I really really love that it didn't turn out the way he thought it would, and instead it blew up in his face.

[Kdawg82]

On 2/13/2019 at 12:24 PM, Crazy Bird Lady said:

rofl... If I'd been matched with Puke and he said that stuff to me, I'd have been extremely tempted to go Lorena Bobbit on him

You're assuming that there's anything down there to "chop." And you know what happens when you assume.

[Mrs. Button]

Hey all, first time poster here — and I cannot lurk any more! All I have to add is that I was in an emotionally/verbally (and eventually physically) abusive marriage when I was a lot younger and Puke is triggering me in a major way. The superficially casual yet cutting remarks, the mood changes — from loving one moment to shockingly cruel — it is all there (and in a conventional relationship it only gets worse pretty quickly, at least that was my experience). It all serves to make the other person pretty much consistently off-balance and confused. I even remember very early on, my ex flipped out about me about something, and later, when I called him on it, he blamed it on a friend who he had seen murdered (and probably never existed in the first place). At any rate, it was a flimsy excuse meant to generate sympathy and I did play right into it. 

As far as I'm concerned, Puke is pretty much playing it by the verbally abusive book and for a variety of reasons Kate is pretty vulnerable to it all. I have no idea how smart she is but I will just say this: she likes him, and that makes his job easier. Whether it is a 3-week marriage or someone you just started dating, you really shouldn't underestimate that element. She wants it to work and wants to believe the best about him — and he is totally taking her for a ride as a result.

That doesn't mean there doesn't need to eventually be some accountability on her end, as well as some self-examination of how she played into it so it doesn't happen again, but he really deserves the bulk of the blame here. Keeping her off-balance like that is how he stays in control, and "winning" every interaction is key for him. I don't know what type of mental illness he suffers from, but if I had to guess it's a combination of Borderline Personality Disorder and Narcissism, possibly with some sociopathy thrown in for good measure. 

In my case, I was 26 when I met my ex and spent the next 10 years with him. I did finally split (it wasn't easy), and, after a LONG break from any sort of dating, eventually met my husband and had our daughter. I remember when I was pregnant so many friends and family made it a point to tell me how happy they were that I wasn't having a baby with my ex. Now I am 49 and I've definitely moved on, but I still have moments (most recently watching these two), where I shudder remembering it all. 

[Kdawg82]

@Mrs. Button 

Sorry you had to go through that. I agree totally with what you're saying about Kate and I believe she needs as many friends/family as she can get as a sounding board and a therapist. I've heard many times the abuser isolates the victim so they can't even get advice from others or a way out.  While Luke can't isolate Kate bc of the show, I think his form of doing that is to make most of his crap comments and accusations OFF CAMERA (and to producers) to be his word against hers. When confronted on camera, he can't even find the balls to repeat what he said. Like any abuser, he's really just a pu**y. 

Glad you found your best life😁

[Gem 10]

32 minutes ago, Mrs. Button said:

Hey all, first time poster here — and I cannot lurk any more! All I have to add is that I was in an emotionally/verbally (and eventually physically) abusive marriage when I was a lot younger and Puke is triggering me in a major way. The superficially casual yet cutting remarks, the mood changes — from loving one moment to shockingly cruel — it is all there (and in a conventional relationship it only gets worse pretty quickly, at least that was my experience). It all serves to make the other person pretty much consistently off-balance and confused. I even remember very early on, my ex flipped out about me about something, and later, when I called him on it, he blamed it on a friend who he had seen murdered (and probably never existed in the first place). At any rate, it was a flimsy excuse meant to generate sympathy and I did play right into it. 

As far as I'm concerned, Puke is pretty much playing it by the verbally abusive book and for a variety of reasons Kate is pretty vulnerable to it all. I have no idea how smart she is but I will just say this: she likes him, and that makes his job easier. Whether it is a 3-week marriage or someone you just started dating, you really shouldn't underestimate that element. She wants it to work and wants to believe the best about him — and he is totally taking her for a ride as a result.

That doesn't mean there doesn't need to eventually be some accountability on her end, as well as some self-examination of how she played into it so it doesn't happen again, but he really deserves the bulk of the blame here. Keeping her off-balance like that is how he stays in control, and "winning" every interaction is key for him. I don't know what type of mental illness he suffers from, but if I had to guess it's a combination of Borderline Personality Disorder and Narcissism, possibly with some sociopathy thrown in for good measure. 

In my case, I was 26 when I met my ex and spent the next 10 years with him. I did finally split (it wasn't easy), and, after a LONG break from any sort of dating, eventually met my husband and had our daughter. I remember when I was pregnant so many friends and family made it a point to tell me how happy they were that I wasn't having a baby with my ex. Now I am 49 and I've definitely moved on, but I still have moments (most recently watching these two), where I shudder remembering it all. 

Wow .. we all can speculate about Luke, but you actually lived it.  It must have been a horror for you, especially being so young.  Thankfully, you found him out and now have a good life.  I’m sure you helped a lot of women with your story.

[scruffy73]

On 2/13/2019 at 3:08 PM, aphroditewitch said:

She seems unintelligent? Based on what? Because she is being abused? This is exactly what I was talking about in a different post. Kate is the victim of abuse, yet people can't stop saying she is slow, unintelligent, an idiot and so on. The fact that people don't see how that is problematic and contributes to how society fails victims of abuse is really scary.

I think the “she” is Jasmine not Kate since the husband is Will.

[Mrs. Button]

Kdawg & Gem10, thank you so much! I do consider myself really really lucky.

I just feel bad for Kate — and in a way it is really good for her that this is playing out on TV since there's only so much crap he can pull (though I'm sure you are correct & there's a lot going on behind the scenes). Her friends can try to talk sense into her, but I think it is really a matter of removing the rose-colored glasses and seeing the situation for what it is. It is just hard since sometimes I am sure things are "good" — she has to really understand that there shouldn't be so much "bad" in the equation.

Personally I think it will take Kate a long time (years!) to get over this – how long do you think she's going to remember the "repulsed and dead inside" comment before kissing someone? So insidious! I was definitely a lot like her in that I grew up with divorce (and a fair amount of dysfunction) and I'm guessing that like me at 26, Kate really has not had a lot of experience with men or healthy relationships. And this can go the other way too, women pull this on men too.

[Ilovepie]

13 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

I'm not in for making Luke apologize

I don’t believe you can “make” someone apologize unless you’re willing to accept insincere words, but you can damn sure make sure he knows you think you deserve one...

[aphroditewitch]

10 minutes ago, scruffy73 said:

I think the “she” is Jasmine not Kate since the husband is Will.

This has been addressed already and no it was not referring to Jasmine. 

[Captain Asshat]

18 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

I don't feel like I can judge, based on just what we see, whether Luke is "abusive" or not in a clinical sense but I have seen enough to think he's a dick.

Thank you! This! I have no problem with Luke not being attracted to Kate. And I can see that he's now in it for something other than marriage. Is it exposure? Is it money? Is it contractual obligation? Who knows? But the bottom line here is that it is OK for him not to be attracted to Kate. It is even OK for him to totally be playing this thing out for (snerk) fame and/or money. I mean...he signed up for a gimmick marriage on national TV.  It is *not* OK to be a raging dick about it. 

Edited February 15, 2019 by Captain Asshat

[Gem 10]

This is exactly why I like these blogs.  It makes you aware of a lot of things you wouldn’t normally know about, whether good or bad.  It lets you vent when you normally wouldn’t.  Pertaining to what goes on in the show of course.

[gonecrackers]

2 hours ago, Ilovepie said:

I don’t believe you can “make” someone apologize unless you’re willing to accept insincere words, but you can damn sure make sure he knows you think you deserve one...

Good to try but in my experience it doesn't accomplish anything & just wastes energy; these kinds of people could care less & will continue to offend over & over again.

2 hours ago, Mrs. Button said:

Personally I think it will take Kate a long time (years!) to get over this – how long do you think she's going to remember the "repulsed and dead inside" comment before kissing someone? So insidious!

If she has years of this crap the cumulative damage will be palpable & less likely to heal. I can't see this 'marriage' lasting, & I think the 'hope' we're seeing in her is also a lot of production in her ears. I'm convinced they'll do anything to keep the show going without any care for those caught up in a bad situation.

15 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

Having said that, I think that Kate really, REALLY wanted this marriage to work. I've known several highly intelligent and successful women who, particularly as they got into their 30's became really driven toward marriage and kids. A couple of them tolerated some pretty shitty behavior from boyfriends in hope of becoming engaged. It's not a dynamic that I fully understand but I do empathize. Kate reminds me of them.

On Unfiltered Luke said they had a discussion about kids, & that Kate mentioned being on a 5 year plan, but he wanted them sooner. Take that for what it's worth, coming from Luke.

Edited February 15, 2019 by gonecrackers
needed one less "that"

[Retired at last]

Speaking of the death threats that are mentioned in reference to what would happen if Kate calls Puke out on his behavior and stands up to him, does anyone know if LUKE has been getting any? I know the show is long over, production-wise, but since the edits clearly illustrate how terrible Luke is, has he received any?

I know that Kate has said that she asked him why he bought her wine if he was worried about her drinking, but that was off camera. Maybe, just maybe, she IS standing up to him off camera, but is going along with this role she has been assigned when the cameras roll. But, unfortunately, it looks like she really wanted this to be her happily ever after and is still holding on to some hope. And, her face and eyes really light up when he throws her a crumb. It just makes me so sad that she doesn't appear to see how condescending he is to her, even when all she sees is that he is being nice.

[Aethera]

***Mod Note***

A reminder that personal stories, as long as they are directly relevant to what's happening on the show, are fine, but we don't want to drop down personal story rabbit holes. If your post is only about your personal life, and not primarily about the show, it belongs in Small Talk.

[gonecrackers]

13 hours ago, Gem 10 said:

I think Puke only started cuddling with Kate in the bed after he was called out on the repulsed anddead inside thing.  It’s giving her false hope.  He’s only doing it to stay on the show.

He's been showing her small elements of affection, shrouded in passive aggressive hostility. I do think he's ramped up the fake affection after being called out on his comments, but only so it'll appear he's doing the right things, as he's throwing Kate under the bus for drinking. I think Luke will do whatever he can to 'look good', while continuing to demean Kate so he can get out of this thing & make it seem she's at fault somehow. He's been shown to underestimate how this approach is not working for him, so I just hope it doesn't get worse for Kate before it's finally over.

13 hours ago, Gem 10 said:

I honestly have a feeling that Will doesn’t like anything about Jasmine.  He looks bored to death, unless that’s his nature.  If he was matched with Kristene, there would be fireworks.  I may be wrong, but, with a different woman, he would come alive.  No chemistry there at all.  We’ll see next week.  Seems like it’s now or never.

I think Will is turned off, but wanted to continue to give this a try by forming a connection with her. Her rigid ideas & condescending attitude are pushing him away. You'd think she'd wake up & realize if this man is avoiding sex she probably needs to change her approach, yet she continues her off putting ways. SMH

[aphroditewitch]

1 hour ago, Retired at last said:

Speaking of the death threats that are mentioned in reference to what would happen if Kate calls Puke out on his behavior and stands up to him, does anyone know if LUKE has been getting any? I know the show is long over, production-wise, but since the edits clearly illustrate how terrible Luke is, has he received any?

I know that Kate has said that she asked him why he bought her wine if he was worried about her drinking, but that was off camera. Maybe, just maybe, she IS standing up to him off camera, but is going along with this role she has been assigned when the cameras roll. But, unfortunately, it looks like she really wanted this to be her happily ever after and is still holding on to some hope. And, her face and eyes really light up when he throws her a crumb. It just makes me so sad that she doesn't appear to see how condescending he is to her, even when all she sees is that he is being nice.

I'm not aware of Luke getting death threats. In general these kinds of threats over social media seem to target women more often than men. People have begun to look into his lies and receipts are starting to come out.  And he is having friends do damage control but I don't think anyone believes the story they are floating because it doesn't make sense. Luke might be the reason that the cast was kept from having public social media accounts this season. 

[Kiss my mutt]

Luke said he wanted kids sooner but did he mean with Kate?

[gonecrackers]

8 hours ago, Kiss my mutt said:

Luke said he wanted kids sooner but did he mean with Kate?

Yeah, well, in his mind maybe it's with "dirty skank" from his phone - which I never realized was an engineering term; so glad he cleared that up.

Edited February 16, 2019 by gonecrackers

[Gem 10]

2 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

Good to try but in my experience it doesn't accomplish anything & just wastes energy; these kinds of people could care less & will continue to offend over & over again.

If she has years of this crap the cumulative damage will be palpable & less likely to heal. I can't see this 'marriage' lasting, & I think the 'hope' we're seeing in her is also a lot of production in her ears. I'm convinced they'll do anything to keep the show going without any care for those caught up in a bad situation.

On Unfiltered Luke said they had a discussion about kids, & that Kate mentioned being on a 5 year plan, but he wanted them sooner. Take that for what it's worth, coming from Luke.

Luke is insulting all viewers intelligence by saying he’s liking Kate.  In plain English, he’s full of shit.  He’s biding his time to get the money and exposure, which by the way his credibility is going down the toilet.

[Stinamaia]

Kate seems to have low self esteem and is trying hard to fix herself to be desirable to Luke.  She probably worked hard in her previous relationship too only to be rejected for someone else. She’s not the only woman to tr hard to make it work.  It’s easy to say from the outside what she should do, but none of us is standing in her shoes and seeing things through her eyes.