S07.E07: Girls' Night In

[HunterHunted]

3 hours ago, DrSparkles said:

Like pop-up videos?!

2 hours ago, yourmomiseasy said:

Not as interesting

 

Thanks! I was going to say "but more boring."

3 hours ago, AnnieBananie said:

I find it weird that LVP, the brilliant businesswoman, is just now starting brunch. Girl, please. I live in DC where brunch is a way of life, and having boozy brunches with Billie (there's your catchy slogan!) could have been bringing in the big weekend bucks for a while now.

3 hours ago, biakbiak said:

I wondered about that because West Hollywood is very brunchy and they have been doing brunch at PUMP for years.

2 hours ago, yourmomiseasy said:

SUR is where you bring your mistress and you don't take your mistress to brunch?  Brunch is not sexy nor unique?

 

 

The margins are just so good for brunch. Eggs, bacon, and bread, which are staples of brunch, are just so much cheaper than most other things in a restaurant's pantry, but you can basically charge almost the same amount for a brunch dish as you do for a typical entree. French toast with 2 pieces of bacon is like $1 worth of ingredients that you can charge $12 for. You keep a couple of your appetizers, 2 or 3 of your salads, some of your sandwiches, add 3 or 4 egg dishes, and you've got a brunch menu.

2 hours ago, Joan van Snark said:

Are we really supposed to hold this against Brittany?  Do you vouch for everything anyone you come into contact with says?

When my brother got married, my parents picked out an emcee who they had seen do a good job of explaining the Nigerian traditions at other weddings. My brother and his fiancee had never met the guy.  He lived in a completely different state. At the reception, he said something homophobic that some of my brother's friends heard. It caused a decent amount of strife in his friendships and one person hasn't spoken to my brother since then. Is it completely fair? Not really. My brother hadn't met the guy. There were over 500 people at the reception. But then again, the emcee isn't just any old attendee. My brother (actually my parents) paid to have this guy come to the wedding and had given him a role of authority for the reception. It's not entirely a surprise to think your guests might reasonably assume you held those values too. Neither my parents nor my brother are homophobes. And this was just an emcee.

Brittany chose a pastor with homophobic views. A not insubstantial bit of their audience is gay or allies. She works in a gay neighborhood. The pastor isn't someone who is incidentally or coincidentally in her life. He's not the super in her building or her car mechanic. This is the pastor for her wedding. She sought him out and justifiably earned that blowback. Though I don't know why people are surprised because her mother is a bit of a homophobe. She was fine with Brittany being with Jax even though he demeans her, cheats on her, lies, and steals, but him maybe having sex with a guy in the distant past was terrible.

Edited January 23, 2019 by HunterHunted

[Steph J]

1 hour ago, LaLaLaLa said:

Yep...In the old days, Katie would have been fired for whining to her boss about WORDS. Few employers want someone that weak working for them because they can't handle pressure if they buckle that easily. What if a high-dollar customer was rude to her? What would LVP do? Fire the customer? I doubt it. She'd tell Katie to suck it up. Hospitality/service can bring out the worst in some people.

There's a difference between a customer treating an employee badly and a co-worker treating another employee badly.  The employer has no control over the actions of a customer; the employer does have the ability (and the obligation, if there's a conflict) to manage how employees treat and speak to each other.  If an employee feels harassed by the words and actions of another employee and makes a complaint to the company about it and the company does nothing to address that complaint, then the company leaves itself open to lawsuit.

As for these things being signs of Katie being "weak" and not able to "handle pressure," while I've never been a server, I have no doubt that servers have to deal with customers being dicks to them every day. They shouldn't have to deal with their co-workers being dicks to them, too.  Not wanting to put up with someone's shit, not wanting to have to listen to someone call you fat (or whatever), doesn't make you weak.  Maybe James should stop acting like an entitled baby who gets to run roughshod over everyone else's feelings while expecting everyone else to be the guardian of his own, because that shit is weak.

[WhosThatGirl]

1 hour ago, HunterHunted said:

Thanks! I was going to say "but more boring."

The margins are just so good for brunch. Eggs, bacon, and bread, which are staples of brunch, are just so much cheaper than most other things in a restaurant's pantry, but you can basically charge almost the same amount for it. French toast with 2 pieces of bacon is like $1 worth of ingredients that you can charge $12 for. You keep a couple of your appetizers, 2 or 3 of your salads, some of your sandwiches, add 3 or 4 egg dishes, and you've got a brunch menu.

When my brother got married, my parents picked out an emcee who they had seen do a good job of explaining the Nigerian traditions at other weddings. My brother and his fiancee had never met the guy.  He lived in a completely different state. At the reception, he said something homophobic that some of my brother's friends heard. It caused a decent amount of strife in his friendships and one person hasn't spoken to my brother since then. Is it completely fair? Not really. My brother hadn't met the guy. There were over 500 people at the reception. But then again, the emcee isn't just any old attendee. My brother (actually my parents) paid to have this guy come to the wedding and had given him a role of authority for the reception. It's not entirely a surprise to think your guests might reasonably assume you held those values too. Neither my parents nor my brother are homophobes. And this was just an emcee.

Brittany chose a pastor with homophobic views. A not insubstantial bit of their audience is gay or allies. She works in a gay neighborhood. The pastor isn't someone who is incidentally or coincidentally in her life. He's not the super in her building or her car mechanic. This is the pastor for her wedding. She sought him out and justifiably earned that blowback. Though I don't know why people are surprised because her mother is a bit of a homophobe. She was fine with Brittany being with Jax even though he demeans her, cheats on her, lies, and steals, but him maybe having sex with a guy in the distant past was terrible.

This. As I said I’m side eyeing her pretty much because of what you said, above the show, about the audience, etc.

So yeah I’m side eyeing because it is a ..”what?” Moment.

[TattleTeeny]

Quote

Yep...In the old days, Katie would have been fired for whining to her boss about WORDS. Few employers want someone that weak working for them because they can't handle pressure if they buckle that easily. What if a high-dollar customer was rude to her? What would LVP do? Fire the customer? I doubt it. She'd tell Katie to suck it up. Hospitality/service can bring out the worst in some people.

This is ridiculous; people are allowed to bring concerns about hostile work environments to their employers or HR departments. Whether those concerns are valid, rectified, or dismissed will vary, obviously, but a good employer is not going to immediately dismiss a longtime employee's complaint as "whining." And here's some news: lots of "WORDS" are unacceptable in the workplace. And a customer (who is not the same as a coworker, so I kind of don't get the comparison here) can be told not to return.

Edited January 23, 2019 by TattleTeeny

[hoodooznoodooz]

I loved the fanfare with which Beau revealed his outfit’s options.

But OOTD confuses me. Haven’t thousands of people for years now been posting photos of themselves in outfits they like? 

Why are people thanking Stassi for this day?

[WhosThatGirl]

3 minutes ago, hoodooznoodooz said:

I loved the fanfare with which Beau revealed his outfit’s options.

But OOTD confuses me. Haven’t thousands of people for years now been posting photos of themselves in outfits they like? 

Why are people thanking Stassi for this day?

I mean yes they have but Stassi used to do it everyday(she might still? I follow her on Instagram but she now only does it on her stories and I don’t always watch) and on her podcasts she talks about it in a lot and then she did decide she wanted to make it a holiday and didnall the stuff to make it one.

So yeah people have been doing it for a while but now she’s made it officially a day. 

I mean I know some people think it’s lame and that she just bought a day. Which.. yeah she or someone in her camp had to pay up but she did have to meet with people and present something and why should this day be a day. I know she talked about what she had to do on her podcast. I kind of think it’s cool that she decided to do it. 

Edited January 23, 2019 by WhosThatGirl

[LaLaLaLa]

56 minutes ago, TattleTeeny said:

And here's some news: lots of "WORDS" are unacceptable in the workplace.

The inability to move on when you hear WORDS is a weakness. Words are words...they are not physical. Employers don't like to employ weak people because they will become a liability at some point.

[RHJunkie]

Katie was incredibly annoying this episode. I thought her behaviour when Lala was talking about going to meet James at the studio was incredibly manipulative. Kirsten at least let it be known that Lala's decision either way wouldn't have an impact on their friendship but Katie went for looking with absolute disgust, to trying to guilt Lala about choosing James over an event that Katie had yet to invite Lala to (but made it seem like Lala was intentionally bailing on her and the girls, and then finally she approached the situation in a way to appear less selfish about her motives by arguing the mixed signals that Lala would be sending to James. Then to see her snarky remarks about Jax and Brittany's stress over the wedding or whatever it was...bitch, you were still hung up on relationship issues weeks before your fucking wedding. Her remarks sounded completely judgemental and condescending when she really lives in a floor to ceiling glass house so she should really step back with the snark.

I experienced second hand embarrassment from that Lala/Scheana segment :/

Kristen is just so addictive to drama she just can't help herself. Why the hell was she even inserting herself in the tweeting dialogue between Billie and Katie? How much attention does Kristen need? As for Billie...I get why she would have felt slighted but it seems far more reasonable to reach out to any of the girls personally than to take her feelings to Twitter. Billie...in liking those comments where people were sharing their experiences, did they also happen to imply that the girls were transphobic in excluding you? Because if they did, then yes, you are co-signing their comments and are guilty of making the accusation as well even if you didn't physically say it yourself. I definitely don't think Katie or any of the other women were excluding Billie because she's trans, but I think Katie played victim far too quickly instead of acknowledging Billie's feelings and THEN explaining her decision making. When you hurt someone's feelings and you don't acknowledge that their feelings are hurt but rather are quick to pull out explanations, it reads as being incredibly dismissive to the other person. When Billie used the term cis-privilege, that was what I think truly encapsulated why Billie was hurt. When she was excluded, her own experiences took her back to a moment where she was made to feel insecure and wonder if the reason was because no one naturally thought of her as being a woman, therefore, no one thought to reach out to her to be involved. Katie's privilege is that she'll never have to wonder that about herself. Often times we hurt peoples feelings without intending to and in my opinion, it should be the easiest apology to offer someone if you had no malice to begin with. That said, Billie seems to be doing the most to be part of the drama so while it's possible that she's being petty at this point because she's just super in her feelings especially after how Katie handled it, it's also entirely possible that she's simply milking her screen time for all its worth.

[SheTalksShit]

10 hours ago, ghoulina said:

I was watching live, so I just muted it. I'd rather watch Stassi transfer 23430 burgers to Beau's mouth. 

 

Yea, the comparison just doesn't work. For many reasons. Not only is this something Katie has not constantly kvetched about; it IS a nasty thing someone has said to her at work. No one has said anything nasty about Billie being trans while at work. Or otherwise. Not comparable. 

 

Jax treated her like such shit before. It's like he's over-corrected in order to prove to everyone he's changed. I agree; it's getting old. 

 

I don't know why she would care. She only dated HIM in an attempt to make FI jealous. 

I don’t quite get why she’d care about that, either, tbh, but I think it more got under her skin that he became such a big deal because of her. When Kristen first brought him on the show, he was nobody, he was just a busboy. Now, years later, she’s in danger of losing her spot on the show, while James is a big part of the show and now a well-known and we’ll-paid DJ all thanks to her. so I think she resents him for it. 

Edited January 23, 2019 by SheTalksShit

[yourmomiseasy]

3 hours ago, Steph J said:

There's a difference between a customer treating an employee badly and a co-worker treating another employee badly.  The employer has no control over the actions of a customer; the employer does have the ability (and the obligation, if there's a conflict) to manage how employees treat and speak to each other.  If an employee feels harassed by the words and actions of another employee and makes a complaint to the company about it and the company does nothing to address that complaint, then the company leaves itself open to lawsuit.

As for these things being signs of Katie being "weak" and not able to "handle pressure," while I've never been a server, I have no doubt that servers have to deal with customers being dicks to them every day. They shouldn't have to deal with their co-workers being dicks to them, too.  Not wanting to put up with someone's shit, not wanting to have to listen to someone call you fat (or whatever), doesn't make you weak.  Maybe James should stop acting like an entitled baby who gets to run roughshod over everyone else's feelings while expecting everyone else to be the guardian of his own, because that shit is weak.

Not only this, but Lisa has a decade of Katie being her employee to base her opinion on and has said multiple times that Katie never makes problems and is a great employee.

 

4 hours ago, HunterHunted said:

Thanks! I was going to say "but more boring."

The margins are just so good for brunch. Eggs, bacon, and bread, which are staples of brunch, are just so much cheaper than most other things in a restaurant's pantry, but you can basically charge almost the same amount for a brunch dish as you do for a typical entree. French toast with 2 pieces of bacon is like $1 worth of ingredients that you can charge $12 for. You keep a couple of your appetizers, 2 or 3 of your salads, some of your sandwiches, add 3 or 4 egg dishes, and you've got a brunch menu.

.

I'd like to think they'd be more inventive -- the shitty place on the corner in my transitional neighborhood is like $12 for breakfast, I'm sure SUR is in the $20 range.  LA has a lot of great brunch spots with amazing options, so if I'm gonna drop $20 on my breakfast entree I need to be dazzled by a creative dish or fancy ingredients.  I guess SUR has the "scene" to draw people in though, so they could just throw together some omelettes and avocado toast, maybe a bottomless mimosa or sangria option, and call it a day.  

 

2 hours ago, LaLaLaLa said:

The inability to move on when you hear WORDS is a weakness. Words are words...they are not physical. Employers don't like to employ weak people because they will become a liability at some point.

If we're going by this definition (and I don't think we should be), then Billie is the weakest of all.

[SheTalksShit]

3 hours ago, RHJunkie said:

Katie was incredibly annoying this episode. I thought her behaviour when Lala was talking about going to meet James at the studio was incredibly manipulative. Kirsten at least let it be known that Lala's decision either way wouldn't have an impact on their friendship but Katie went for looking with absolute disgust, to trying to guilt Lala about choosing James over an event that Katie had yet to invite Lala to (but made it seem like Lala was intentionally bailing on her and the girls, and then finally she approached the situation in a way to appear less selfish about her motives by arguing the mixed signals that Lala would be sending to James. Then to see her snarky remarks about Jax and Brittany's stress over the wedding or whatever it was...bitch, you were still hung up on relationship issues weeks before your fucking wedding. Her remarks sounded completely judgemental and condescending when she really lives in a floor to ceiling glass house so she should really step back with the snark.

I experienced second hand embarrassment from that Lala/Scheana segment :/

Kristen is just so addictive to drama she just can't help herself. Why the hell was she even inserting herself in the tweeting dialogue between Billie and Katie? How much attention does Kristen need? As for Billie...I get why she would have felt slighted but it seems far more reasonable to reach out to any of the girls personally than to take her feelings to Twitter. Billie...in liking those comments where people were sharing their experiences, did they also happen to imply that the girls were transphobic in excluding you? Because if they did, then yes, you are co-signing their comments and are guilty of making the accusation as well even if you didn't physically say it yourself. I definitely don't think Katie or any of the other women were excluding Billie because she's trans, but I think Katie played victim far too quickly instead of acknowledging Billie's feelings and THEN explaining her decision making. When you hurt someone's feelings and you don't acknowledge that their feelings are hurt but rather are quick to pull out explanations, it reads as being incredibly dismissive to the other person. When Billie used the term cis-privilege, that was what I think truly encapsulated why Billie was hurt. When she was excluded, her own experiences took her back to a moment where she was made to feel insecure and wonder if the reason was because no one naturally thought of her as being a woman, therefore, no one thought to reach out to her to be involved. Katie's privilege is that she'll never have to wonder that about herself. Often times we hurt peoples feelings without intending to and in my opinion, it should be the easiest apology to offer someone if you had no malice to begin with. That said, Billie seems to be doing the most to be part of the drama so while it's possible that she's being petty at this point because she's just super in her feelings especially after how Katie handled it, it's also entirely possible that she's simply milking her screen time for all its worth.

I agree, when you immediately jump to explain yourself without even apologizing, it reads like you’re either very dismissive or very defensive and only concerned about yourself. In this situation, it seems like Katie was feeling defensive because Billie put the issue on Twitter and so Katie was worried about being mis-labeled as transphobic. I don’t think Katie is transphobic, but I think her reaction made it clear she doesn’t give a shit about her relationship with Billie and just sees her as an annoyance, which is why she made no effort to listen to her or apologize, she just went straight to defensive mode. So yes, she is very dismissive of Billie. 

I can see the whole cis-privilege thing, but honestly I think there’s all sorts of privilege in this world. There’s thin-privilege, white privilege, straight privilege, married privilege, extrovert-privilege...you can’t expect people to always keep every single one in mind when doing something. 

But I agree, Katie should have apologized. It sucks to feel excluded, trans or not. 

Edited January 23, 2019 by SheTalksShit

[HunterHunted]

1 hour ago, yourmomiseasy said:

I'd like to think they'd be more inventive -- the shitty place on the corner in my transitional neighborhood is like $12 for breakfast, I'm sure SUR is in the $20 range.  LA has a lot of great brunch spots with amazing options, so if I'm gonna drop $20 on my breakfast entree I need to be dazzled by a creative dish or fancy ingredients.  I guess SUR has the "scene" to draw people in though, so they could just throw together some omelettes and avocado toast, maybe a bottomless mimosa or sangria option, and call it a day.  

I found the menu. It's not next level basic, but just boring basic. 

http://surrestaurant.com/brunch-menu/

One of the things that has been hilariously true about the reviews of all of Lisa's restaurants is that the best reviews have said the food was mediocre and the worst say that the food is pretty bad.

https://thebitchywitches.com/2017/11/30/the-best-bad-reviews-of-lisa-vanderpumps-restaurant-sur/

https://jezebel.com/i-cant-get-over-how-bad-it-was-a-lisa-vanderpump-resta-1688222144

https://www.eater.com/2018/12/17/18145386/vanderpump-rules-best-bad-tv-show-guilty-pleasure

https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2016/11/131137/vanderpump-rules-sur-restaurant-la-visit

The Betches liked the food more than most

https://betches.com/are-lisa-vanderpumps-restaurants-actually-good-i-went-to-all-four/

[TattleTeeny]

10 hours ago, LaLaLaLa said:

The inability to move on when you hear WORDS is a weakness. Words are words...they are not physical. Employers don't like to employ weak people because they will become a liability at some point.

Oh, that does make sense; now I see it! OK, well, I'm off to work--gonna call some people there some WORDS and see who is the liability!

Edited January 23, 2019 by TattleTeeny

[Drogo]

40 minutes ago, TattleTeeny said:

10 hours ago, LaLaLaLa said:

The inability to move on when you hear WORDS is a weakness. Words are words...they are not physical. Employers don't like to employ weak people because they will become a liability at some point.

Oh, that does make sense; now I see it! OK, well, I'm off to work--gonna call some people there some WORDS and see who is the liability!

I wouldn't recommend it if you aren't working in a restaurant featured in a reality show based on drama between current/former/potential employees and their current/former/potential significant others. 

Be that as it may, it's truly rich for Lisa Vanderpump to pretend to agree that James' words (when he and Katie were mutually arguing) went over some line when we've all seen the kind of assault/battery/bullying she's allowed from her staff thusfar. 

[TattleTeeny]

Quote

Be that as it may, it's truly rich for Lisa Vanderpump to pretend to agree that James' words (when he and Katie were mutually arguing) went over some line when we've all seen the kind of assault/battery/bullying she's allowed from her staff thusfar. 

Oh, I don't disagree with this; it's the generalities about the mindsets of actual employers in non-fantasy land that makes zero sense to me. (Also, I am--thankfully--working from home today; as long as I say the WORDS is a nice way, my coworkers cats won't know the difference [unless said WORD is "snack"].)

Edited January 23, 2019 by TattleTeeny

[Misslindsey]

17 hours ago, Stan39 said:

I can’t anymore. I watched the premiere and realized I just don’t care about these people anymore. I’d love it if they brought in a new cast of young, attractive, single coworkers. But this group is just gross now and I’m bored watching all the couples. It was more fun when they were all hooking up with each other 

This is how I feel as well. I think I realized I do not like any of these people or find the same old antics entertaining. It is the same shit, different season. Do any of these people actually work at Sur when they are not filming? I would love for them to cast a new group as well.

[RHJunkie]

7 hours ago, SheTalksShit said:

I agree, when you immediately jump to explain yourself without even apologizing, it reads like you’re either very dismissive or very defensive and only concerned about yourself. In this situation, it seems like Katie was feeling defensive because Billie put the issue on Twitter and so Katie was worried about being mis-labeled as transphobic. I don’t think Katie is transphobic, but I think her reaction made it clear she doesn’t give a shit about her relationship with Billie and just sees her as an annoyance, which is why she made no effort to listen to her or apologize, she just went straight to defensive mode. So yes, she is very dismissive of Billie. 

I can see the whole cis-privilege thing, but honestly I think there’s all sorts of privilege in this world. There’s thin-privilege, white privilege, straight privilege, married privilege, extrovert-privilege...you can’t expect people to always keep every single one in mind when doing something. 

But I agree, Katie should have apologized. It sucks to feel excluded, trans or not. 

4

I agree...and every person is different so you can't always know if you're going to hit a trigger with someone over something you do or say, no matter how innocent your intentions may be. No one can say with certainty that every trans person would have reacted the way Billie did. They could have been shaped differently from their experiences. I'm not sure Billie would have referenced Katie's cis-privilege if Katie had acknowledged why Billie's feelings were hurt. Had Katie done that and Billie still threw that in her face, I would be inclined to think without a doubt that Billie was simply looking for a fight regardless of what Katie said.

[Mr. Miner]

I wonder if LVP still uses douche Kevin Lee for parties? after his bullshit and half ass apology last year. 

[SarahPrtr]

So effing sick of Billie and her bullshit and always victimising herself with the "Whaaaa!!! I'm a trans woman!! FU for your cis privilege!!!"  FFS!!! 

 

Being a good person is not gender-related!  So, when Billie was a man, was she warm and kind, or was she the same effing asshole she is, now?!  Grow tf up, woman, you're an effing adult!!!

 

Definitely didn't need the orgasm noises with those two.  Scheana recorded her orgasm sounds in the studio in the very first episode.  Horrible then, mortifying now.  She's seven years older, but there's not been any growth.

Edited January 23, 2019 by SarahPrtr
.

[Ubiquitous]

18 hours ago, DrSparkles said:

What are the ‘pumped up edition’ things?

It's what they call eps that are "enhanced" with social media comments people made and notes from TPTB. I find them pointless b/c they're too small to read.

17 hours ago, WhosThatGirl said:

I think people are just side eyeing her because she’s on this show where the beliefs of that pastor and that church that she’s choosing to have for her wedding is not who or what she presents on the show and people are starting to see cracks in the facade that she presents on this show. If that makes sense. I’m not sure if I hold it against her but I definitely side eye this. 

I couldn't care less about what this pastor allegedly said but I've always been suspicious of her innocent country girl act. She never watched this show or heard ob Jax? Oreally?

[teapot]

15 hours ago, HunterHunted said:

 

Brittany chose a pastor with homophobic views. A not insubstantial bit of their audience is gay or allies. She works in a gay neighborhood. The pastor isn't someone who is incidentally or coincidentally in her life. He's not the super in her building or her car mechanic. This is the pastor for her wedding. She sought him out and justifiably earned that blowback. Though I don't know why people are surprised because her mother is a bit of a homophobe. She was fine with Brittany being with Jax even though he demeans her, cheats on her, lies, and steals, but him maybe having sex with a guy in the distant past was terrible.

that's surprising, because on instagram & podcasts she talks about her best friend Zach, who is a gay man and also from KY

[itsadryheat]

Are floral shirts for men (Beau, Jax) a "thing" now.

[WhosThatGirl]

1 hour ago, Ubiquitous said:

It's what they call eps that are "enhanced" with social media comments people made and notes from TPTB. I find them pointless b/c they're too small to read.

I couldn't care less about what this pastor allegedly said but I've always been suspicious of her innocent country girl act. She never watched this show or heard ob Jax? Oreally?

Yeah I liked brittany at first but it was always interesting that she has somehow managed to squeak into this group and not have any sort of drama with the group or other cast memebers. Until now. The editors seem to be going for her a lot this season.

[TattleTeeny]

53 minutes ago, itsadryheat said:

Are floral shirts for men (Beau, Jax) a "thing" now.

I feel like there have always been floral shirts available for men who want them.

[ninjago]

3 hours ago, RHJunkie said:

every person is different so you can't always know if you're going to hit a trigger with someone over something you do or say,

It's very self-absorbed to assume you are top of mind for anyone other than yourself, let alone that everyone is going to to know what and how you are going to get offended and know how to navigate that.  That is also the difference between being upset someone flat out called you "Fat" and making the leap that because a person you don't get along with didn't give you credit for planning a party that you weren't involved in the planning of that that person must be transphobic and owes you an apology.  The world doesn't revolve around Billie.

Having said that, I think if you scratch the veneer, this conflict, like so many on the show, is really about who gets to be part of the cast.  Fights about who gets to work at the restaurants, who gets invited to parties or restaurants or trips or Lisa's house, who is in a real relationship, who is included on texts or pictures, etc.  All of that is really about who gets to be on the show.  Katie does seem to have appointed herself gatekeeper, and I think Billie was really mad that all of the female cast members were part of the Girls' Night In and being left off meant Billie isn't a real cast member.

Edited January 23, 2019 by ninjago

[WhosThatGirl]

9 minutes ago, ninjago said:

It's very self-absorbed to assume you are top of mind for anyone other than yourself, let alone that everyone is going to to know what and how you are going to get offended and know how to navigate that.  That is also the difference between being upset someone flat out called you "Fat" and making the leap that because a person you don't get along with didn't give you credit for planning a party that you weren't involved in the planning of that that person must be transphobic and owes you an apology.  The world doesn't revolve around Billie.

Having said that, I think if you scratch the veneer on this conflict, like so many on the show, is really about who gets to be part of the cast.  Fights about who gets to work at the restaurants, who gets invited to parties or restaurants or Lisa's house, who is in a real relationship, who is included on texts or pictures, etc.  All of that is really about who gets to be on the show.  Katie does seem to have appointed herself gatekeeper, and I think Billie was really mad that all of the female cast members were part of the Girls' Night In and being left off meant Billie isn't a real cast member.

Well she really isn’t and shouldn’t be. I wish Lisa would have decided after her little fit and calling people transphobic and making this into a different issue than what it was would have secured  Billie not being on the show. 

Again I have to say that Billie went from zero to one hundred in the bink of an eye over this.

Also again it appears she knew, she tweeted about the event  so that she could cause drama about it being a different issue. And then trying to be like “well that’s not why I’m upset!!!!! I just liked some tweets that imply that you left me out because I’m trans!” She really kept contradicting why she was upset. And like others I’m not going to say I understand her life and what she went through but this isn’t that. This is katie including the people she had help her plan the event heincame over to her apartment. You have made it clear that you two aren’t friends Billie, why would she invite you over?

[Drogo]

Katie is very sensitive and anyone who can't understand that (and work around those sensitivities quietly) probably shouldn't work at SUR.  Because she won't tolerate it.

When Billie Lee walked into "Girls Night In," Katie legitimately glared at her as if she had some nerve being at her own workplace on a night she was scheduled to work.

[ghoulina]

15 hours ago, LaLaLaLa said:

The inability to move on when you hear WORDS is a weakness. Words are words...they are not physical. Employers don't like to employ weak people because they will become a liability at some point.

Words can often cause much more damage than physical pain. Verbal abuse is a real thing. Verbal bullying is a real thing. People have been driven to suicide over "mere words". Words matter. Someone is not weak because they are hurt by nasty words. I'd rather take a punch than have someone repeatedly comment on my weight. 

[TattleTeeny]

Racial slurs are words, as are libelous remarks, false accusations, confidential corporate information, employee/client private information, criminal confessions, etc, etc. So to say employers are fine with the wanton flinging around of all kinds of words is silly, as is the assertion that one is weak for not saying "fuck it" (or that employers are scoping out this kind of weakness).

Edited January 23, 2019 by TattleTeeny

[Mahamid Frauded Me]

So I don''t know what the goon squad makes filming this show, seems that FI now has a very expensive car - but hopefully they are banking the money away for a rainy day. Both Tom's and their SO apartments look like shit.  Maybe these apartments are for show and both have nice houses that they really live in ? I know the area they live in is very pricey, but honestly, I would rather commute longer and have a nice place to go home to.    

[RHJunkie]

5 hours ago, ninjago said:

It's very self-absorbed to assume you are top of mind for anyone other than yourself, let alone that everyone is going to to know what and how you are going to get offended and know how to navigate that.  That is also the difference between being upset someone flat out called you "Fat" and making the leap that because a person you don't get along with didn't give you credit for planning a party that you weren't involved in the planning of that that person must be transphobic and owes you an apology.  The world doesn't revolve around Billie.

 

2

In many cases, it can be self-absorbed but I'm not inclined to assume that this is simply a matter of 'how dare you not make it about me'. Given Billie's journey, it's very possible that there are far deeper issues that caused that reaction. Not being heard and having your feelings validated can lead you to say shitty things and all of those women have been guilty of that - whether drunk or sober, they've all done it. 

I don't think Billie's reference to her being trans was to suggest that Katie has something against trans people, but that being excluded made her feel that it's because Katie didn't see her as a female, hence didn't even think to include her. Also, I can't recall anything that would have made it obvious to Billie that she and Katie don't get along. I think it's also the same reason why Billie negatively internalized Stassi and Kristen's warning about Jeremy last season. Warning someone by saying 'he hits on anyone and everyone' doesn't exactly inspire confidence in someone and likely made Billie feel insecure due to her own histories of dating as a trans person.

The world may not revolve around Billie but her path in life has likely suffered more hardships than any of those women and it's just the decent thing to do to be respectful of her feelings (as with anyone else's). Katie doesn't have to apologize for being transphobic (because she isn't) but nothing stopped her from handling it much better than she did. Again, when you mean no harm, it takes very little to apologize for hurting someone's feelings, even if unintended. I've gone my entire adult life without drama by my willingness to listen to others, accept that the experiences of others and how that shapes them as people are beyond my control but I can choose to be empathetic even towards things I don't necessarily fully understand and it doesn't make me a doormat for being willing to say sorry. Billie is definitely accountable for the things she said and how she behaved, whether hurt or not, but even if she walked off yelling that Katie was transphobic, it wouldn't have changed the fact that Katie also didn't approach the situation with the most reasonable option available. 

Edited January 23, 2019 by RHJunkie

[Neveragain]

On 1/22/2019 at 2:40 PM, SheTalksShit said:

 

Lala is trying waaaay too hard. She is so immature and reactive and attention-starved such a POSER, I can't stand it. 

 

Agreed!  Although she’s no badass from Utah lol like she thinks, she did used to charm me a little with her attitude.  But now it’s just beyond phony and put on, and so juvenile.  “My man is an ass man, oh yeah he’s also a vagina man and a tits man”etc etc she just sounds vulgar now, not cheeky or funny.  “Oh my (whatever is in the shop) I had to take my man’s rolls, I like it I think I’ll get one too”  come on girl you sound stupid 

and I’m sorry but where do her looks go?  She used to be quite beautiful.  Is it the dark hair? Is it being engaged and not trying any more?  Something’s off 

[teapot]

1 hour ago, Mahamid Frauded Me said:

So I don''t know what the goon squad makes filming this show, seems that FI now has a very expensive car - but hopefully they are banking the money away for a rainy day. Both Tom's and their SO apartments look like shit.  Maybe these apartments are for show and both have nice houses that they really live in ? I know the area they live in is very pricey, but honestly, I would rather commute longer and have a nice place to go home to.    

I heard somewhere (can't remember where) that they're supposed to give off the illusion of still living the life of a server, so they couldn't have these mansions or anything

[LaLaLaLa]

16 hours ago, yourmomiseasy said:

If we're going by this definition (and I don't think we should be), then Billie is the weakest of all.

I don't disagree. I said elsewhere in this thread that BL was showcasing a chip on her shoulder during this episode. However, I still like how she highlights the hypocrisies of Katie & Kristen.

[JenE4]

Billie is a fame whore. There are probably a couple dozen other girls who work at SUR who were not “billed” on the flyer. We saw two girls standing at the hostess stand. We’ve had Faith and Laura-Leigh and Rachel maybe her name was (long dark hair) who have all been “supporting characters” who worked at SUR who would have never made the billing on a SUR-star-studded event because they are not stars of the show. Hell, Peter has been “on the show” since day 1 and is still not a star of the show! It took YEARS for Schwartz to make it even since he didn’t work there! Billie, stop trying to make yourself happen. You didn’t “earn” your spot at the event—has nothing to do with your gender.

[LaLaLaLa]

3 hours ago, TattleTeeny said:

Racial slurs are words, as are libelous remarks, false accusations, confidential corporate information, employee/client private information, criminal confessions, etc, etc. So to say employers are fine with the wanton flinging around of all kinds of words is silly, as is the assertion that one is weak for not saying "fuck it" (or that employers are scoping out this kind of weakness).

Kids are taught at a young age that "sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me". MATURE adults continue to live by this adage throughout life.

The list of words that you provided does not compare to someone being called "fat".

Regarding "libelous remarks, false accusations, confidential corporate information, employee/client private information". Two of those are litigated through tort law while the other two are contractual. Again, not the same as someone calling someone fat. Furthermore, anyone showing sensitivity to being called a name typically gets picked on again. Like it or not, this behavior was learned at a very young age and continue through high school, sororities, the workplace, social settings, etc.

[greyflannel]

On 1/21/2019 at 11:19 PM, ivygirl said:

Per Katie: There are bottles of tequila behind the bar that have been at SUR longer than Billie?

I don’t know how I feel about that. I mean I know most liquor keeps for a while even if open, but that just makes it sound like Tequila doesn’t sell at SUR and I somehow doubt that. ;)

Still, fair point goes to Katie. 

Maybe they're still selling off the overstock that was created when Katie switched from tequila to edibles.

[TattleTeeny]

53 minutes ago, LaLaLaLa said:

Kids are taught at a young age that "sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me". MATURE adults continue to live by this adage throughout life.

The list of words that you provided does not compare to someone being called "fat".

Regarding "libelous remarks, false accusations, confidential corporate information, employee/client private information". Two of those are litigated through tort law while the other two are contractual. Again, not the same as someone calling someone fat. Furthermore, anyone showing sensitivity to being called a name typically gets picked on again. Like it or not, this behavior was learned at a very young age and continue through high school, sororities, the workplace, social settings, etc.

Mature adults sit around and say, "OK, a peer is being super verbally abusive to me at our job. Oh well, better just accept it"? And referring to a little kids' saying is about the last example I'd use as instructions in how to be a "MATURE adult." 

I am not directly comparing those particular words to just the word "fat" (but I think you know that); I am challenging the strange idea that normal employers don't care what words are used in their workplaces or that they generally give a fuck about "weakness." I can't think of a single employer I've had that had such a point of view (OK, maybe the boss at the daycare center did; it's much easier to let a few 4-year-olds call you a poophead if the greater good is that they'll actually take a nap). We've clearly held very different jobs overseen by very different people.

And, no--people who put a stop to inappropriate behavior do not typically get "picked on again." And "was learned" by whom "at a very young age"? These are not absolutes in the world of childhood, adolescence, employment, or adulthood. I assume you are speaking for yourself, as I have a job at which I certainly do not have to make a choice between taking people's shit or being labeled as weak. Absurd.

None of this is even to say that I would do what Katie did--or even give a shit what James said; I personally wouldn't. But she had every right to take her case to her boss, who clearly is not basing people's futures (or "futures," in this case) at her restaurants on some weird "level of weakness" scale that doesn't exist.

Edited January 24, 2019 by TattleTeeny

[hatchetgirl]

On 1/21/2019 at 7:59 PM, Chalby said:

I think Billie realizes she's fairly mild on the show so she's stirring the pot, attempting to create drama so she can keep her job.

First prize!  Yes. She thinks she's not getting enough screen time so "i support james, i have his back" and "i want included, those mean fat girls are transphobic!" Made me so angry when she said "cis privilege!"

[ParadoxLost]

8 hours ago, RHJunkie said:

Also, I can't recall anything that would have made it obvious to Billie that she and Katie don't get along.

Billie's behavior when Kristen and Katie came in for brunch should have been enough.  If it wasn't obvious to Billie, after how she behaved, on why Katie wouldn't feel like inviting Billie to the planning then Billie has a complete lack of self awareness.

[ninjago]

11 hours ago, WhosThatGirl said:

Well she really isn’t and shouldn’t be.

I have exactly zero interest in watching Billie on this show.  

On the other hand, Katie, Adriana and Lala don't seem interested in putting all their business out on this show, which is good for their personal growth, but not great for reality TV.  Kristin seems to be permanently relegated to tertiary character.  That leaves Stassi, who is not involved in any of the work drama, Brittany, who doesn't bring much outside of her relationship with Jax, and Scheana, who has a made-for-reality-TV life, but sort of floats around outside of the rest of the group.

If Katie wants to pull a Vickie Gunvalson and refuse to integrate new people into the cast, she needs to start bringing more to the show.  

[yourmomiseasy]

12 hours ago, Mahamid Frauded Me said:

So I don''t know what the goon squad makes filming this show, seems that FI now has a very expensive car - but hopefully they are banking the money away for a rainy day. Both Tom's and their SO apartments look like shit.  Maybe these apartments are for show and both have nice houses that they really live in ? I know the area they live in is very pricey, but honestly, I would rather commute longer and have a nice place to go home to.    

I'm pretty sure a 1 bedroom apartment in the building that Jax/Brit & Katie/Tom are in goes for ~$3k/mo and I think both couples are in 2 bedroom units.  They are in a really good location and super close to SUR/TomTom/Pump and all the places that they tend to go.  I only live ~3 miles away and I can't imagine driving up there and parking every single day.  The parking alone is enough to keep me home, not to mention the WeHo traffic.  I have a friend in their apartment building and it is not shitty at all, it's actually pretty decent.

[SarahPrtr]

On 1/23/2019 at 4:54 AM, TattleTeeny said:

CORN NUTS!

How very.  I got sold out for a bunch of Swatch dogs and Diet Coke heads.  Going to go get a slushie.

[RHJunkie]

8 hours ago, ParadoxLost said:

Billie's behavior when Kristen and Katie came in for brunch should have been enough.  If it wasn't obvious to Billie, after how she behaved, on why Katie wouldn't feel like inviting Billie to the planning then Billie has a complete lack of self awareness.

YMMV. I guess I just handle things differently and so I don't think it's reasonable to sit and make screw faces at what someone saying (to someone else), don't address that their comments are upsetting because they seem dismissive of my experience and feelings but then I rush off and bitch about how horrible the encounter was when I was barely a part of the encounter. Maybe there was more of Katie's involvement that we didn't see, but from what we did, she seemed more in her feelings that Billie would even defend James in any capacity when Katie is the one that has an issue with him. We'll just have to agree to disagree here because I see Kristen as the focus of Billie's comments and it was her who had more leeway to be upset with what Billie did. If I'm not addressing you and you take offense to what I'm saying, then I don't think it's 'obvious' to assume that you're upset with me unless you say call me out and say that my words are upsetting you. The world doesn't revolve around Billie...it doesn't revolve around Katie either.

Edited January 24, 2019 by RHJunkie

[Jel]

Re the WORDS discussion...interesting debate on both sides.  For me, the main problem I have with Katie's stand against verbal abuse in the workplace is that she has doled so much of it out herself. (I just saw an old episode where Lala objected to Katie calling her  a "whore" and Katie replied, smugly, unkindly, insensitively, "Well, I call it like I see it.")  Had Katie been the person who objected when others said unkind things, or if she had even just not ever said unkind things to her co-workers, her argument would carry more weight for me. But because she's been the perpetrator of the very same kind of offenses herself, her argument lacks, erm, weight.  Because of this, her legitimate objection seems to be at least 50% "mean girl tactics" and I can't help but side eye it a little bit. I don't think she is at all transphobic, and, ironically, by excluding Billie she was actually treating her as one of the girls because that's what you get when you disagree. 

And then in general, words hurt, that is for sure, but I genuinely believe better words are the way to deal with that.  I don't believe shaming really changes minds. It might shut people up, which is satisfying in the short term, but then that hate can instead go underground and fester. I don't feel safe with it there; I'd much rather have it out in the open where it can be challenged with reason and evidence.  And yes, you do run the risk of more people joining the dark side, in fact it's almost a given that some will agree, but at the same time, you'll miss the opportunity to bring so many more people to see the light.

Did Lisa have to fire James? Do they not have sensitivity training in California? In the long run, I think that would have been the better way to go.

[Mr. Miner]

10 hours ago, hatchetgirl said:

First prize!  Yes. She thinks she's not getting enough screen time so "i support james, i have his back" and "i want included, those mean fat girls are transphobic!" Made me so angry when she said "cis privilege!"

https://www.thegoodteatime.com/single-post/2019/01/22/Vanderpump-Rules-Recap-Thirst-Card

Good Tea Recap

[TattleTeeny]

Quote

Re the WORDS discussion...interesting debate on both sides.  For me, the main problem I have with Katie's stand against verbal abuse in the workplace is that she has doled so much of it out herself. (I just saw an old episode where Lala objected to Katie calling her  a "whore" and Katie replied, smugly, unkindly, insensitively, "Well, I call it like I see it.")  Had Katie been the person who objected when others said unkind things, or if she had even just not ever said unkind things to her co-workers, her argument would carry more weight for me. But because she's been the perpetrator of the very same kind of offenses herself, her argument lacks, erm, weight.  Because of this, her legitimate objection seems to be at least 50% "mean girl tactics" and I can't help but side eye it a little bit. I don't think she is at all transphobic, and, ironically, by excluding Billie she was actually treating her as one of the girls because that's what you get when you disagree. 

I don't disagree that Katie (or any of these people) is being hypocritical* in her "words hurt" campaign because, yeah, they have all been assholes in that very same way, it seems. My--now belabored--issue (or one of them; the other is how crazy it is to claim that employers don't care what kind of language is used in their establishments or that they label people who don't like being insulted as "weak," hahahaha!) is that this was officially brought into an HR kind of scenario, and that's why action is expected--not because it's more egregious for James to verbally attack Katie than it is for Katie to do it to someone else; it's the same egregiousness but if no one reports, management doesn't need to address it. Same with lots of nonsense shit that goes on in workplaces**...or life. 

* Also, while this is not likely the case for Katie, there are people who realize that their behavior is rotten and decide to stop it and/or treat it as such when they see it done by others. 
** I am so thinking of my early 20s working in a giant "superstore" bookseller; our managers/HR would have been working overtime to address similar issues--most of them perfectly valid!-- if we'd bothered to report them (or been smart enough then to know they were inappropriate!). Haha, despite that, though, now that job seems fun, as I recall it in hindsight from a desk in an ice-cold corporate office that took me an hour and a half to get to this morning!

Edited January 24, 2019 by TattleTeeny

[iloveit]

LMAO at Scheana saying she can play a college student and her manager saying maybe a young mom.  

Why the hell did the acting coach have them fake orgasms?  Wtf was the point of that?

I don't know what was going on with Brittany but I feel like everyone has bad days and that was maybe one of them.   I can understand her being pissed when Katie was being negative about marrying Jax.  

I agree that they should have hired a female DJ!

I don't what Sandoval considers to be support, but I don't think if he was being support when he told James that GNI was packed.

Is Billie just doing this to get a scene on the show? It's not cool to stir up this type of issue just for publicity. Why would Katie ever include in the planning?  They aren't close friends and Billie isn't a main character so I am really not getting this.  I totally get why Billie is sensitive to being left out but I don't know why she would be upset about this instance.  I mean, she is not at every other gathering, right? I don't want to be insensitive to a transgender person but this seems really out of line, especially to go out to the world on social media and imply that Katie is transphobic. 

That being said, I don't like Katie or Kristen, especially how they can't just let people be friends with James.  I don't blame them for side eyeing people for that but it's not cool that they pressured Lala to cancel on him.  AND it's not cool for Lala to succumb to that pressure. 

[ghoulina]

20 hours ago, LaLaLaLa said:

Kids are taught at a young age that "sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me". MATURE adults continue to live by this adage throughout life.

You do realize that when kids say this it's because the words DO hurt and they're trying to protect themselves? We've long taught children, especially boys to pretend they're not hurt and shrug off bullying and verbal abuse. Internalizing all that shit isn't healthy for you. 

 

1 hour ago, iloveit said:

LMAO at Scheana saying she can play a college student and her manager saying maybe a young mom. 

That was great. Her face was priceless. 

[gritz]

Unless one is a nudist, isn't every day technically an "outfit of the day", day?

Not only is Scheana never having orgasmed until Rob a diss on Shay, it's also a burn on Eddie Cibrian.

Billie's little Dutch boy wig is fug. Also, she's an entitled bitch.