Jenelle: Birther Of 3, Mother To None

[BitterApple]

Wow, is she fucking kidding?! Of course, Jenelle. Your exhausted middle-aged mother came home from her shitty job one day and decided she needed a baby to fill the void. I swear, you can't even make this stuff up.

Edited August 5, 2017 by BitterApple

[MissMel]

UncleID isn't wasting any time, now is he?  I wonder if he has permits for this swimming pool wedding.  Large equipment rentals aren't cheap, either.  

[Mkay]

She needed a vacation from the stress of being a mom?!?! WTF

 

Edited August 5, 2017 by Mkay

[monicageller]

1 hour ago, Mkay said:

A page from Jenelle's book that made me roll my eyes up into my brain!! 

THE DELUSION! Does she actually believe this shit she sprouts?! How can she have possibly decided to just rewrite history when he have proof of what really happened?!

[lovesnark]

She really is INSANE! Fortunately, for all of the people with brains and TV's, the truth is all there. I'd love to see her on some talk show and have the interviewer read portions of her book, then roll the footage of what really happened. She'd start fake crying, accuse the host of being soooooo mean to her, storm off the stage and tell the crew that followed her to leaaaaavvvveee her alooooone!

[Christina87]

She said Andrew was "broker than fuck." Is broker even a word? I mean, other than a stockbroker broker?

[zenme]

So she acts like David is such an improvement. Wasn't David broker than fuck?

[CofCinci]

2 hours ago, Mkay said:

She needed a vacation from the stress of being a mom?!?! WTF

 

Oh, honey. Those Roses were for your memorial service.  David is going to murder you.

[lovesnark]

37 minutes ago, zenme said:

So she acts like David is such an improvement. Wasn't David broker than fuck?

Yep. Just like all the others. And, he's spending her money on much larger ticket items than the other fools. He got himself a house, a boat, a new truck and swampland! Nathan got to drive a new car or two.  Jenelle never did say what happened to the HumVee and Charger. Probably got repoed after she broke up with Nathan and morphed into a redneck for UBT. They're cruising around in a Dodge minivan now.

 

1 hour ago, Christina87 said:

She said Andrew was "broker than fuck." Is broker even a word? I mean, other than a stockbroker broker?

It's a more classier way of saying broke!

The only thing she said about UBT in her glowing description that's true is that he doesn't cheat on her.......yet. They need to apart for more than 30 seconds for that to happen.

Edited August 5, 2017 by lovesnark

[zenme]

Maybe when David goes to jail he'll explore his other options and cheat.

[CofCinci]

6 hours ago, lovesnark said:

Yep. Just like all the others. And, he's spending her money on much larger ticket items than the other fools. He got himself a house, a boat, a new truck and swampland! Nathan got to drive a new car or two.  Jenelle never did say what happened to the HumVee and Charger. Probably got repoed after she broke up with Nathan and morphed into a redneck for UBT. They're cruising around in a Dodge minivan now.

The cars were most likely leases.  All the TMs lease (which is one of the worst financial mistakes to make).

[trashtvaddict]

12 hours ago, monicageller said:

THE DELUSION! Does she actually believe this shit she sprouts?! How can she have possibly decided to just rewrite history when he have proof of what really happened?!

Seriously... (and I haven't yet figured out quoting here so I apologize..) but isn't there an actual scene in maybe the first season of TM2 where Barb quite respectfully says to Jenelle that Jace would perhaps be better off being given to a loving family?

[Booger666]

13 hours ago, MissMel said:

swimming pool wedding

LOL!  Visions of Jenelle posting IG pics of everyone in swimsuits and jean cut-offs for her above ground swimming pool wedding complete with trash can punch and plastic leis as wedding favors.  Girl thinks she has it going on but is soooo low rent!

[lovesnark]

1 hour ago, trashtvaddict said:

Seriously... (and I haven't yet figured out quoting here so I apologize..) but isn't there an actual scene in maybe the first season of TM2 where Barb quite respectfully says to Jenelle that Jace would perhaps be better off being given to a loving family?

Yes. And, Barb asks her about having an abortion and Jenelle refuses and tells her it's too late anyway. I believe she didn't tell Barb until she was well into it and Barb actually figured it out on her own.

[guilfoyleatpp]

16 hours ago, Mkay said:

She needed a vacation from the stress of being a mom?!?! WTF

 

I mean, if the bar for "a good man" is doesn't hit you, yell at you or do drugs or cheat on you, the bar is pretty low. 

That's not a "wish list" those are basic requirements.

Does she give him a cookie for every day that he succeeds in accomplishing those items?

[toodywoody]

And David is sooooo great because he told her to get dressed up. WTF. And Jenelle doesn't like to be caught off guard when she is going to scream at people but can ambush her mom at dinner and that is ok. You know the same mom that tried to talk some sense into her and she wasn't having it, but now that mom wanted her kid. Wtf, does she think no one watched her 16 and Pregnant and the early episodes of Teen Mom. I swear she lives in a fantasy world where Barb took her kid and David isn't a beater.

[guilfoyleatpp]

Yeah, I would completely not suspect someone was going to propose to me if I'd been sending him engagement rings, he'd asked me away for a weekend weeks after I'd had their child, told me to dress up, and then I walked into a clearing with roses.

Proposal would be the furthest thing from my mind. 

So either she's really stupid or she thinks we'll believe the lies she tells herself to make her life seem romantic rather than basic and sad.

[lovesnark]

For shits and giggles, I went and look at the reviews of her work of fiction at Amazon. Here are some of my favorites.

Quote

 

Don't waste your hard earned money on this garbage. Here's a summary of her book. She grew up in a family who were all crazy (except for her) and her Dad left, leaving her with daddy issues that she still hangs on to. It's her family's fault that she went on to become a slut and do drugs. It's her family's fault she keeps bringing terrible men into her life and then breeding with them. It's her mothers fault that she chose to go out and party, rather than stay home and help raise her first offspring. It's everyone's fault except for hers that her life is miserable even though she made all of her now adult choices on her own. Now that her biological family has been shunned from her new life in the middle of a swamp, she has a new person to blame for her anxiety (which her latest boyfriend claims she doesn't really have), illness and stress- her 3 year old son Kaiser aka "Dude". Bottom line, if you enjoy reading the ramblings of a pathological liar who clearly loves passing the blame of her own failures onto those around her, you may like it.

 

Quote

 

I thought this was going to be an honest look inside Jenelle Evans' life, her struggles with teenage pregnancy, addiction, etc. but it's nothing but a poorly written work of fiction. Anyone who is even vaguely familiar with her story can see that this "book" is full of revisionist history and flat out lies. I can't believe anyone wasted time publishing this garbage. It should have been called "From the Delusional Mind of a Spoiled Adult-Child."

 

Quote

Horrible book, but great toilet paper ??

Quote

This books sucks like your mothering does.... don't waste your money on this crap!!!!

[ghoulina]

19 hours ago, Mkay said:

A page from Jenelle's book that made me roll my eyes up into my brain!! 

What in the ever-loving-fuck???  Didn't Barb ENCOURAGE Jenelle to look into adoption/abortion??? And now Jenelle is acting like Barb MADE her have the kid.....because....wait for it....BARB wanted another child. The 50ish woman who works at Wal-mart and spent the last two decades busting her ass as a single mom, now decides when the light at the end of the tunnel is ALMOST within reach, she wants to be saddled with another kid? Bahahaha, who is buying this shit? Oh, and oh.....Barb was happiest when mothering them? I thought she was a horrible, distant mother. Which is it????

Also, who uses the phrase "broker than fuck" in a memoir???

[MissMel]

5 hours ago, guilfoyleatpp said:

Yeah, I would completely not suspect someone was going to propose to me if I'd been sending him engagement rings, he'd asked me away for a weekend weeks after I'd had their child, told me to dress up, and then I walked into a clearing with roses.

Proposal would be the furthest thing from my mind. 

So either she's really stupid or she thinks we'll believe the lies she tells herself to make her life seem romantic rather than basic and sad.

Well, we are talking about David here.  Personally, I'd be scared he was going to push me off the mountain after all that.  The camera and not yet legal next-of-kin probably saved her, though.

Edited August 5, 2017 by MissMel

[Mkay]

Did y'all see the link I posted where you can read it for free? 

 

Those reviews are hilarious. Lol

[leighroda]

I was gonna go get the book, I searched the entire fiction section at Barnes and noble... oh well.

[ChristmasJones]

Did anyone notice in that first shot of the baby, when Janelle was holding her, that her eyes (the baby's) looked exactly like UncleID channel her dad's? 

[Mkay]

9 hours ago, leighroda said:

I was gonna go get the book, I searched the entire fiction section at Barnes and noble... oh well.

Hahahaha.  Maybe it's  under true crime section.

 

 Read it for free. Link is up thread a little bit. 

Edited August 7, 2017 by Mkay

[dabronx]

As if Kaiser isn't enough at risk with  unemployed under-educated unrelated  male with history of domestic violence and drug abuse living in the home providing majority of "child care", with detached biological mom with history of drug addiction and domestic abuse victim and family with documented mental health issues, and bio dad with history of drug abuse, domestic violence and PTSD -  lets throw in a fucking pool built on swamp land. Holy shit it's like the universe is actively trying to check every box possible. His life is like a modern day Angela's Ashes. If this kid makes it to 18 he should be handed a million bucks and a lifetime of free therapy.  Frank McCourt hasn't got shit on the poor roll.

[Calm81]

On 8/5/2017 at 11:19 AM, lovesnark said:

Yes. And, Barb asks her about having an abortion and Jenelle refuses and tells her it's too late anyway. I believe she didn't tell Barb until she was well into it and Barb actually figured it out on her own.

Yeah, Barb told the audience that she walked in on Jenelle while she was taking a shower (omg to have my mother walk in on me butt naked ?) and immediately shouted "omg, you're pregnant!!" to Jenelle.

[CofCinci]

Some folks believe the baby looks like Nathan and she is deleting their comments. 

[zenme]

She kinda looks like Maryssa.

is that bad if the baby looks like the father?

[leighroda]

10 hours ago, Mkay said:

Hahahaha.  Maybe it's  under true crime section.

 

 Read it for free. Link is up thread a little bit. 

Lol, I don't really care about reading the book... I just said that for the sake of making the joke... besides so much has been leaked that there is no point, there hasn't been a single page with any truth.

[ghoulina]

45 minutes ago, zenme said:

She kinda looks like Maryssa.

is that bad if the baby looks like the father?

No, but NATHAN isn't the father. LOL

I think Ensley looks just like Jace. I don't see Dave OR Nathan. 

[leighroda]

4 hours ago, ghoulina said:

No, but NATHAN isn't the father. LOL

I think Ensley looks just like Jace. I don't see Dave OR Nathan. 

Yeah from day one it just looks like Jace with a bow... I could see some seeing daves eyes though, that for me could kinda go either way.

[Mkay]

Wonder how UBT will do in court today? Hopefully he and Jenelle both wore their fake black rimmed glasses and her classy court heels for luck. 

[Mr. Miner]

On ‎8‎/‎4‎/‎2017 at 10:08 PM, zenme said:

So she acts like David is such an improvement. Wasn't David broker than fuck?

I don't know if David was broker than fuck. I do know they are both dumber than fuck.

[Snarky McSnarky]

7 hours ago, CofCinci said:

Some folks believe the baby looks like Nathan and she is deleting their comments. 

 

[lovesnark]

I think UBT was working as a welder or pipe fitter in training when he scored Jenelle's wallet. When Jenelle decided to move him in, she raged at Barb when Barb asked if he had a job. Jenelle screamed something about pipe fitting or welding. I remember reading that he'd done some time in jail shortly before Jenelle was cruising Tinder looking for her next soulmate to breed with. So, I'd be willing to say that he was broker than fuck when they hooked up. Whatever 'job' he may have had went out the window when he moved in with her. Jenelle requires her soulmates to be at her beck and call 24/7 so she can lay on the couch and post shit online while someone else takes care of the brood. She is able to order pizza on occasion, though. I'm sure she qualifies that as making dinner. 

Barb saying that UBT is the worst boyfriend Jenelle has ever had holds a lot of weight with me. She knows stuff about him that we don't and I really believe she's worried for Jenelle's life and scared shitless every time she has to let Jace go to the swamp.

[Uncle JUICE]

On 8/5/2017 at 2:48 PM, lovesnark said:

For shits and giggles, I went and look at the reviews of her work of fiction at Amazon. Here are some of my favorites.

Don't waste your hard earned money on this garbage. Here's a summary of her book. She grew up in a family who were all crazy (except for her) and her Dad left, leaving her with daddy issues that she still hangs on to. It's her family's fault that she went on to become a slut and do drugs. It's her family's fault she keeps bringing terrible men into her life and then breeding with them. It's her mothers fault that she chose to go out and party, rather than stay home and help raise her first offspring. It's everyone's fault except for hers that her life is miserable even though she made all of her now adult choices on her own. Now that her biological family has been shunned from her new life in the middle of a swamp, she has a new person to blame for her anxiety (which her latest boyfriend claims she doesn't really have), illness and stress- her 3 year old son Kaiser aka "Dude". Bottom line, if you enjoy reading the ramblings of a pathological liar who clearly loves passing the blame of her own failures onto those around her, you may like it.

Review By: Boston_Babs_NC@viacom.com

[TeenMomAngerMgmt]

I love the fact that Courtland and David were in jail together. I have to assume that Courtland was bragging about his association with Jenelle and how much money she had and how easy it was to get. David is dumb as a box of hammers, but he's crafty and manipulative as fuck. 

[MyPeopleAreNordic]

On August 2, 2017 at 6:35 PM, BitterApple said:

Can we please get a group together to go down to North Carolina and take that adorable blonde chub away from these assholes?

Jenelle's against physical punishments? Sure, Jan. This is a woman who fought her best friend and has had a dozen altercations with various boyfriends. Kaiser makes a peep and she loses her shit. I don't for one second believe she's never spanked or hit him when he's acting up.

 

On August 3, 2017 at 8:18 PM, lovesnark said:

I think Jenelle is to lazy to actually spank or hit that adorable little guy. When she hooked up with UBT, his willingness to hit kids probably appealed to her. She yanks Kaiser around and throws him in his high chair and crib. That's bad enough but doesn't require any actual energy out of the lazy bitch. She can yank him around and still keep her phone in her other hand. Remember, in the visitation agreement she made with Barb, it specified that ONLY Barb or Jenelle is allowed to discipline Jace. I'm sure UBT has done a lot of screaming, berating and maybe hitting Jace and he told Barb.  That provision was made for UBT and UBT alone. I seriously doubt that Barb allows anyone but herself to discipline Jace.

Right, @BitterApple. This bitch physically fought her friend over a hoodie and threw a mason jar at a girl who dared to sit in a vehicle outside her house (and date Nathan). However, I feel like @lovesnark is also right....Jenelle has become lazier and lazier as this series has progressed. She has UBT do basically everything for her and he does most of the "parenting" of Kaiser (and I'm sure Endtable, too). If she doesn't physically discipline Kaiser, it's only cause she's too "stressed out"/lazy to get her ass off the couch or pry her eyes from her phone. She probably just throws whatever is close at the kid if he acts up.

On August 4, 2017 at 10:49 AM, lovesnark said:

Yep. Jace was nothing more to Jenelle than a way to piss Barb off and show her that Jenelle would do what SHE wanted. Jenelle isn't interested in caring for any of the poor children she stupidly keeps popping out. Endtable will be mobile soon and Jenelle's interest in her will drop dramastically. Right now, she can dress her up for Instagram ego stroking. As soon as she's able to crawl and get into things, she'll be nothing more than another reason for Jenelle to yell about how stressed she is, dude!

ETA: Jenelle wasn't around when Jace was a toddler. She's shown us she has no interest in providing Kaiser a safe and healthy environment. I really and truly fear for Kaiser and Endtable once the baby becomes a toddler, too. Jenelle will have two bundles of curious energy doing what little ones do. Maryssa can only do so much as she's a child herself.

Exactly. Parenting becomes infinitely more difficult when the baby gets mobile. Good luck, Jenelle.

Signed, A mom of 2.5 year old and a 1 year old

On August 4, 2017 at 11:37 AM, Mkay said:

Uh oh. 

 

I'm always worried about Kaiser (and now Endtable) whenever Jenelle snaps pics of UBT working on the land. Who the hell is watching/caring for Kaiser and Ensley while David is doing this work on the land? If Maryssa is away for visitation or at school (she does year round school) and Jace is with Barb, I'm really nervous for Jenell's youngest kids, since we know Jenelle's snapping pics of David's work to share and we also know she's not providing actual care for those kids besides throwing them in dark rooms with bottles. I really hope they are at daycare. 

On August 4, 2017 at 4:16 PM, DangerousMinds said:

Someone's gotta do it, and of course it must be the man, right? Because women just can't do any manual labor . . . Why is she so caught up in these gender stereotypes?

I don't know but....she sure isn't caught in playing out the stereotype for her own gender while she brags about her man doing stereotypical stuff. Jenelle sure as hell isn't being a happy homemaker and cooking or caring for/interacting with her kids. David has gotta do both gender's stereotypical roles while Jenelle hangs out on her phone and tells the kids to "leave her alooooone!" Oh well....David is getting "paid" (living of Jenelle and getting her to buy him stuff) to do it all, I suppose.....

On August 5, 2017 at 0:25 PM, toodywoody said:

And David is sooooo great because he told her to get dressed up. WTF. And Jenelle doesn't like to be caught off guard when she is going to scream at people but can ambush her mom at dinner and that is ok. You know the same mom that tried to talk some sense into her and she wasn't having it, but now that mom wanted her kid. Wtf, does she think no one watched her 16 and Pregnant and the early episodes of Teen Mom. I swear she lives in a fantasy world where Barb took her kid and David isn't a beater.

Didn't we se the proposal scene? I could have sworn Jenelle was wearing jeans and a regular jacket? Thank goodness he didn't take her to an expensive restaurant or something. 

17 hours ago, dabronx said:

As if Kaiser isn't enough at risk with  unemployed under-educated unrelated  male with history of domestic violence and drug abuse living in the home providing majority of "child care", with detached biological mom with history of drug addiction and domestic abuse victim and family with documented mental health issues, and bio dad with history of drug abuse, domestic violence and PTSD -  lets throw in a fucking pool built on swamp land. Holy shit it's like the universe is actively trying to check every box possible. His life is like a modern day Angela's Ashes. If this kid makes it to 18 he should be handed a million bucks and a lifetime of free therapy.  Frank McCourt hasn't got shit on the poor roll.

Poor, poor Kaiser. Didn't Nathan say Kaiser fell out of Jenelle's and UBT's boat & is now scared of water? (I know Nathan as a credible source is....questionable, but I can see this being true). Sounds like a pool is perfect, then. UGH.

Also, I'm seeing shades of Casey Anthony here.....blaming a child's (intentional) death on an accidental drowning in a backyard pool seems like a good fall-back plan for Jenelle & David. Someone get Kaiser swimming lessons quick! I wouldn't put it above these people to get so aggravated at him that they put a toddler who can't swim in the pool on purpose and walk away....only to "return" to have found the child must have "climbed in on their own" and drowned. Surely even Jenelle & David wouldn't do that, right? 

Edited August 7, 2017 by MyPeopleAreNordic

[Pixiebomb]

I think I saw that Jenelle's 16 & Pregnant episode is going to be on MTV today. Oops it's in 10 minutes. Gotta set my DVR. 

[ChristmasJones]

Have we discussed before that Uncle ID Channel is with Janelle solely for the money?  For some reason, when I was watching these two most recent episodes, when there was a shot of them riding in the truck together, a thought flashed very clearly through my mind that he is only there for her money.   I know this is not a revelation, but I guess I had never spent much time considering that it was most likely his core reason for being with her.  So I think he will stick around until the money is gone. That's my prediction. He will control his temper toward her just enough so he can keep riding around in nice cars, buying toys, ordering take-out, getting tattoos, and going on trips.

Edited August 7, 2017 by ChristmasJones

[TeenMomAngerMgmt]

4 minutes ago, ChristmasJones said:

Have we discussed before that Uncle ID Channel is with Janelle solely for the money?  For some reason, when I was watching these two most recent episodes, when there was a shot of them riding in the truck together, a thought flashed very clearly through my mind that he is only there for her money.   I know this is not a revelation, but I guess I had never spent much time considering that it was most likely his core reason for being with her.  So I think he will stick around until the money is gone. That's my prediction. He will control his temper toward her just enough so he can keep riding around in nice cars, buying toys, and going on trips.

I can't imagine that dealing with Jenelle is pleasant, but I have to grudgingly admit that it's an excellent ROI. 

[Snarky McSnarky]

Babe digging the "pool" for Jenelle.

[guilfoyleatpp]

2 hours ago, ChristmasJones said:

Have we discussed before that Uncle ID Channel is with Janelle solely for the money?  For some reason, when I was watching these two most recent episodes, when there was a shot of them riding in the truck together, a thought flashed very clearly through my mind that he is only there for her money.   I know this is not a revelation, but I guess I had never spent much time considering that it was most likely his core reason for being with her.  So I think he will stick around until the money is gone. That's my prediction. He will control his temper toward her just enough so he can keep riding around in nice cars, buying toys, ordering take-out, getting tattoos, and going on trips.

This is interesting. It would explain why he is able to not rise to her emotional engagement when she's clearly trying to piss him off.

I once briefly dated a dude who, as it turned out, was a domestic abuser. He assured me I had nothing to worry about as he only was inspired to violence when he was really in love with someone. This holds true with the training I received in domestic abuse, but damn. Damn. 

[ChristmasJones]

20 minutes ago, guilfoyleatpp said:

This is interesting. It would explain why he is able to not rise to her emotional engagement when she's clearly trying to piss him off.

That could also be because he has a more stable temperament.  Nathan is volatile and emotionally unstable and couldn't hold it together long enough to keep enjoying the $$$$ that comes from Janelle. 

[Miss Chevious]

She's a cash cow and he's milking it for all it's worth. She pays for everything, he doesn't have to work at a real job. She buys him all the toys he wants (boats, trucks) and all the drugs he wants and best of all she bought him THE LAND he wanted. What's not to like? He's got the life of Riley, all he has to do in return is agree with her about how rotten Babs is and be the cleaning lady.

Once the MTV money is gone, he'll be on to the next stupid broad he can fleece. 

[BitterApple]

13 minutes ago, Miss Chevious said:

She's a cash cow and he's milking it for all it's worth. She pays for everything, he doesn't have to work at a real job. She buys him all the toys he wants (boats, trucks) and all the drugs he wants and best of all she bought him THE LAND he wanted. What's not to like? He's got the life of Riley, all he has to do in return is agree with her about how rotten Babs is and be the cleaning lady.

Once the MTV money is gone, he'll be on to the next stupid broad he can fleece. 

Exactly. He gets to live out his Redneck Swampland Fantasy, and it doesn't cost him a dime. Not to mention free vacations to boot. In return he just has to make sure Kaiser doesn't get eaten by coyotes and Barb is shit-talked to kingdom come. Pretty sweet deal for a guy like him.

[Poohbear617]

 This afternoon MTV aired Jenelle's 16 and Pregnant episode. Andrew was listed as Jace's father. So I need a reminder please when Janelle was dealing with giving custody to Barb she did paternity tests and IIRC Andrew was not the dad...didn't it take 2 more tests to find him and who was the dad.  I feel so sorry that Jace has never known a father..but then again with the winners Jenelle always picks, I should be relieved. If you remember the paternity test please pass it on.

[Scarlett45]

20 minutes ago, Poohbear617 said:

 This afternoon MTV aired Jenelle's 16 and Pregnant episode. Andrew was listed as Jace's father. So I need a reminder please when Janelle was dealing with giving custody to Barb she did paternity tests and IIRC Andrew was not the dad...didn't it take 2 more tests to find him and who was the dad.  I feel so sorry that Jace has never known a father..but then again with the winners Jenelle always picks, I should be relieved. If you remember the paternity test please pass it on.

No Andrew is Jace's Biological Father. He was alerted when Barb was awarded custody. 

Im not sure which Teen Mom you're thinking of....but last I recall Andrew was confirmed to be the father. 

Edited August 8, 2017 by Scarlett45

[MadLove]

On 8/4/2017 at 11:28 PM, CofCinci said:

Oh, honey. Those Roses were for your memorial service.  David is going to murder you.

Oh shit! I laughed way harder at this than I should have...Lol

[Mkay]

Yep.  There was an episode where Andrew took a DNA test and was confirmed as Jace's dad.