S05.E07: Week 4: Part 2

[clubsauce]

Seriously, I’ve been watching this show for 3.5 hours tonight and it’s somehow only 9:40?? What is happening???

[Armchair Critic]

Take a seat John, you just went on a date

[Ohwell]

I want Cassandra to snatch Joe away from Kendall.

[CindyBee]

3 minutes ago, Ohwell said:

Next week, when the guys give out the roses, I predict he'll ditch Annaliese then.

But its this week he is giving out the rose.  

[Ohwell]

6 minutes ago, CindyBee said:

But its this week he is giving out the rose.  

Ok I'm confused.  There are only 15 minutes left.    

Edited August 29, 2018 by Ohwell

[Mu Shu]

5 minutes ago, clubsauce said:

Seriously, I’ve been watching this show for 3.5 hours tonight and it’s somehow only 9:40?? What is happening???

I ate a bag full of what may have been chocolate covered insects.  I don’t know what is was, and it seemed like 5 hours ago.  This is a long ass boring episode.

[CindyBee]

1 minute ago, Ohwell said:

When?

I think we are talking abut two different things.  When I say "week" I mean the next week in Paradise time which is actually 2 days or so.    So yes it will be next week on TV that he gives out the rose

[Ohwell]

Astrid was right.  There's always trouble in paradise.

[Armchair Critic]

Cassandra is coming in with fresh hair and makeup, let her settle into Paradise and she may not be looking that good any more

[Ohwell]

5 minutes ago, CindyBee said:

I think we are talking abut two different things.  When I say "week" I mean the next week in Paradise time which is actually 2 days or so.    So yes it will be next week on TV that he gives out the rose

Oh, ok.  When you said "this week" I thought you meant "this week."

[CindyBee]

Oh Eric, "testing the waters" is so lame.   And admit, you just find Cassandra hotter than Angela

[b2H]

31 minutes ago, leighdear said:

And apropos of nothing, ABC has just guaranteed that I will never, ever, ever even THINK about watching their new show about a million beautiful, fashionable and obviously financially comfortable yet depressed people committing suicide.  Never.  Ever. 

 

I am always suspicious of new shows that are relentlessly promoted.  It looks like a dumbing down of ‘The Big Chill’, only they’ll ruin it with bad writing and one dimensional characters.

 

ETA:  apparently, no one explained the rules or the gist of this show with any of the women.  This nonsense of couples not being broken up by newcomers is just nuts.

Edited August 29, 2018 by b2H

[tennisgurl]

Now I kind of want to watch a show where people just hook up endlessly and are totally not "looking for love" or anything. I can appreciate that level of honesty.

[Mu Shu]

I just saw some butt cheek

why aren’t they barring Angela’s butt?  It is pretty nice.

Edited August 29, 2018 by Mu Shu

[Ms Blue Jay]

Everyone was saying that John is this perfect Boy Scout, but maybe he's just a rose ho like Annalise after all?  LOL.  He dumped Jubilee so unceremoniously, so I am no longer cheering for him.

[Ohwell]

I don't understand why Jenna is the only one who gets butt blocked.  Is this some kind of running gag?  

[Armchair Critic]

They are all shook that their relationships may not be that strong in Paradise? Puhleeeez

[Ms Blue Jay]

1 hour ago, saber5055 said:

Details, please! Both of those guys I like. Especially Kevin after last night.

Angela and Eric got  a fucking dream date.  Luxurious hotel, robes, HUGE FUCKING ICE CREAM SUNDAE, CAKE SAMPLES, AHHHHHHHHH.  I WAS SO JEALOUS.  For once something looked incredibly envious on this show, besides Joe!

[Stan39]

Why are these women freaking out because of what Eric did? Krystal says she doesn’t want to be hurt. Jenna basically said all men suck. What Eric did sucks, but I’m not sure it’s worse than what Kendall did to Joe (and the guys didn’t flip out)

[CindyBee]

Three hours on next Monday.   Geez, better get some extra wine to make it through

[Armchair Critic]

Colton never wears underwear? Better use it before you lose it.

[Ms Blue Jay]

1 hour ago, Armchair Critic said:

Joe please move on, Kendall is a FLAKE.

TO ME.!!!!!  ARE THERE MORE MEN IN CHICAGO LIKE JOE?????

[TiredMe]

It’s sad when the most interesting part of this episode is learning that Colton is freeballin’.

[CindyBee]

12 minutes ago, b2H said:

ETA:  apparently, no one explained the rules or the gist of this show with any of the women.  This nonsense of couples not being broken up by newcomers is just nuts.

Janner ruined this show as now all the ladies see this as a means to get the guy and the baby.  And look next week the cute babies will be there 

[tennisgurl]

You mean the person you just met in this tropical island reality show a few weeks ago isnt already a totally solid match?!

[Ohwell]

9 minutes ago, TiredMe said:

It’s sad when the most interesting part of this episode is learning that Colton is freeballin’.

But are his balls really free?  

[clubsauce]

Three hours next week??? I don’t think I can accept that rose. I’m going to take a moment and say my goodbyes.

Edited August 29, 2018 by clubsauce

[Caseysgirl]

Ok, so this is my first season with this franchise so is it always like this? Dating musical chairs.  This actually reminds me of being at a Junior High Mixer,  just over a longer duration. There were always a lot of tears during them, too.

[RedheadZombie]

Where did the black ninja dude come from?  He came flipping over Joe to tackle Leo.  I say make him the next Bachelor.

[Mu Shu]

Ok, why does Kendall need a man to feel safe?  Didn’t her rabid feminist friend baby Bekah tell her women can be strong on their own?   She set up that confrontation so she could feel safe and desired.  I think she’s a fucking psychopath.  And fuck her.  Women have been handling their shit for a long time. I came into this world with teeth and claws and bright yellow, ready to fight.  This is a true story.

Kendall is pathetic.  A spoiled, indulged little titty baby.  

[DEL901]

8 minutes ago, tennisgurl said:

You mean the person you just met in this tropical island reality show a few weeks ago isnt already a totally solid match?!

Not weeks....days.  Whole shoot is about 11 days

[JenE4]

[Missed 20 minutes] 

Kevin plans a romantic sunset date, drinking champagne and feeding Astrid fruit snacks.

Eric is moving his cheese to a MUCH fancier resort, and Angela is following it...and a trail of rose petals. Who the bleep will be eating all that seafood and drinking all that champagne?!?! Are Kanye and his entourage showing up?? That ice cream sundae!!!! And a fancy cheese cart! Who moved my cheese? This kick ass butler, that’s who. Angela and Eric are my new favorite couple, which means they’re destined to break up, I assume.

Chris wakes Krystal up in the middle of the night to make her teach him yoga, telling us it’s special for HER and she’s all “You want me to WORK?!”

Kendall is kissing JOHN now with Joe IN THE BACKGROUND. But this makes Kendall finally commit to Joe...unless/until someone else kissable comes around, I guess.

Leo has the full-blown caveman look going on, with an attitude to match. Kendall, I clubbed you and tried to drag you by your hair to my cave and you went off with “grocery store bitch.” Drink thrown, and a little slapping of hands back and forth like when your little brother leans into YOUR side of the backseat of the car. Moooooooom!

Jordan checking his face in the camera to then go into his shocked reaction to what happened. Haha! Harrison pulled out his emergency pocket square to come check on the kids.

Is the South known for hot dog eating contests? I thought that was Coney Island. Colton thought it was great to make out with a hot dog in his mouth. Yet another potential sign of Colton’s repressed sexuality. It’s 2018, Colton; even football players can be gay now, buddy.

John is kissing Chelsea now?!? Now we know why he dumped Jubilee in the pool and had her flee undercover in the dark of night, so he can make out with EVERYONE. After Leo’s ranting and splashing that everyone is kissing everyone, John was all, oh, yeah, they are! I need to get me some!

Tia is REALLY worked up about Connor drinking out of a champagne flute. Who cares? Focus on your hot dogs and mind your own business.

Chelsea’s now kissing Benoit—YOU are my rose, Chelsea. Uh, sure she is. I thought you were in love with Jenna 3 hours ago? She spends the first however many episodes crying that no one likes her and now she’s crying that everyone likes her. Spoiler alert, Chels, they like your rose. All these same guys had no interest in you when they had one, two, or three different choices. You’re their last hope.  But on the bright side, I FINALLY learned your name!

Benoit is the male Annaliese for sure! He thinks every girl is his True Love and meant to be. Oh, man, he is crying HYSTERICALLY. He’s worse than Annaliese. And don’t forget how he was the same way with Claire on Winter Games—we talked once and you like this other dude, but you are My True Love!! 

John and Olivia just busted into a quinceniera and wonder whether they’re supposed to start dancing.

Eric is licking his chops over Cassandra like a cartoon character stuck on a deserted island with another person he pictures as a roasted turkey. Cassandra’s “glow” is not due to nationality, but heavy self-tanner and bronzer use.

Kendall has managed to go 8 hours (most of them sleeping) without kissing another man but Joe, so now she’s the authority on fidelity. Aw, poor Angela, and now all the girls are freaking out—not MY man! Well, there are more people coming in, so someone needs to go on these dates! “If one couple goes down, they all go down!” Say what?! Do they have a murder-suicide pact or something? Or like a 7th-grade dating pact—Billy broke up with Brittany, and Billy is your BFF and Brittany is my BFF, so now we all need to break up!!!

[Ms Blue Jay]

Maybe Eric's appreciation for Angela was a physde all along?

[weightyghost]

1 hour ago, ECM1231 said:

I would assume that bilingual Canadians from Quebec province would speak an unaccented English. Am I mistaken?

I was just in Quebec and everyone I ran into that was willing to speak English to me (many either didn't speak English or didn't want to bother) spoke it French-accented. It's not the same as a France-French accent, but its vastly different than the accents from Ontario/New Brunswick (the other neighbouring provinces). 

[Ms Blue Jay]

Guys, (I'm a couple of drinks in) I love you guys.  I've had such a hard past few months, my company's been bought out, I've watched several of my friends get laid off.....this stupid trash show is the only thing keeping me going this summer.  Thanks for always bringing the laughs, and BIP for always bringing the pain.  'Til next week......  (And some of us don't even have to work Monday!!!!!!!!)

I'm a Canadian in Ontario who works with a lot of people in Montreal and for me their accent is VERY strong.  There's a lot of language barriers between us Ontario-English people and the Francophones in Quebec.  It's a huge cultural difference too!  Some people don't have the Quebecois accent, but some people DEFINITELY do!

Edited August 29, 2018 by Ms Blue Jay

[Mu Shu]

2 minutes ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

Guys, (I'm a couple of drinks in) I love you guys.  I've had such a hard past few months, my company's been bought out, I've watched several of my friends get laid off.....this stupid trash show is the only thing keeping me going this summer.  Thanks for always bringing the laughs, and BIP for always bringing the pain.  'Til next week......  (And some of us don't even have to work Monday!!!!!!!!)

I'm a Canadian in Ontario who works with a lot of people in Montreal and for me their accent is VERY strong.  There's a lot of language barriers between us Ontario-English people and the Francophones in Quebec.  It's a huge cultural difference too!  Some people don't have the Quebecois accent, but some people DEFINITELY do!

We should all get together for PTVers is paradise!  We can do it in the Keys .  I know all the good places.  I’ll slide into Chris Harrison’s dms and see if he’ll be our honored guest.  I’m pretty serious .  Who wants in?

[Fable]

In Benoit's exit TH, I imagine he was supposed to be pretending to cry, but it actually looked to me like he was laughing.  

[tennisgurl]

Three freaking hours next week?!?! I am gonna need some extra strength booze for this one. 

*Sigh* And I was promised someone giving Leo a good hard smack in the face. 

[adhoc]

Hi, Connor, 'bye, Connor.  The only really memorable thing about you was when you went on that date with Krystal and you were buried in the sand by the local who was speaking only Spanish, and when you could not understand what was going on, you helpfully said "No hablo ingles, por favor". 

[JenE4]

21 minutes ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

Guys, (I'm a couple of drinks in) I love you guys.  I've had such a hard past few months, my company's been bought out, I've watched several of my friends get laid off.....this stupid trash show is the only thing keeping me going this summer.  Thanks for always bringing the laughs, and BIP for always bringing the pain.  'Til next week......  (And some of us don't even have to work Monday!!!!!!!!)

I'm a Canadian in Ontario who works with a lot of people in Montreal and for me their accent is VERY strong.  There's a lot of language barriers between us Ontario-English people and the Francophones in Quebec.  It's a huge cultural difference too!  Some people don't have the Quebecois accent, but some people DEFINITELY do!

 

Hang in there, Blue! We love you too—and I watch this sober.

16 minutes ago, Mu Shu said:

We should all get together for PTVers is paradise!  We can do it in the Keys .  I know all the good places.  I’ll slide into Chris Harrison’s dms and see if he’ll be our honored guest.  I’m pretty serious .  Who wants in?

I’m in, Mu! You guys can all slide into my DMs. For real, message me, people. I like you all more than my actual friends!

Edited August 29, 2018 by JenE4

[chocolatine]

The more Kendall talks, the less intelligent she sounds. I'm even more convinced now that she made up the taxidermy and cemetery obsession to seem quirky and interesting to others, not because she really likes those things. She's an airhead. Joe, on the other hand, went up in my estimation for saying "Kendall's and my relationship". Oh, and how self-centered of Kendall to think that Joe fought Leo to "defend [her] honor". Leo insulted Joe's profession and Joe wasn't going to let that stand, it had nothing to do with Kendall.

I thought something was off about Benoit since Bachelor Winter Games when everyone else was swooning over him, so now I feel vindicated. ;) Clare dodged a bullet.

I'm probably in the minority, but blatant displays of luxury are a huge turn-off for me. There were about 30 pounds of seafood, 20 bottles of champagne, and five gallons of dessert on Angela's and Eric's date. They're going to have a few bites/sips, and the rest is going in the garbage? The unopened champagne bottles can obviously be salvaged, but the seafood and ice cream must have gone bad pretty quickly after sitting out at room temperature.

[Stan39]

2 minutes ago, chocolatine said:

The more Kendall talks, the less intelligent she sounds. I'm even more convinced now that she made up the taxidermy and cemetery obsession to seem quirky and interesting to others, not because she really likes those things. She's an airhead. Joe, on the other hand, went up in my estimation for saying "Kendall's and my relationship". Oh, and how self-centered of Kendall to think that Joe fought Leo to "defend [her] honor". Leo insulted Joe's profession and Joe wasn't going to let that stand, it had nothing to do with Kendall.

I thought something was off about Benoit since Bachelor Winter Games when everyone else was swooning over him, so now I feel vindicated. ;) Clare dodged a bullet.

I'm probably in the minority, but blatant displays of luxury are a huge turn-off for me. There were about 30 pounds of seafood, 20 bottles of champagne, and five gallons of dessert on Angela's and Eric's date. They're going to have a few bites/sips, and the rest is going in the garbage? The unopened champagne bottles can obviously be salvaged, but the seafood and ice cream must have gone bad pretty quickly after sitting out at room temperature.

Kendall sounds more and more like Taylor. She thinks she’s extremely intelligent and great, and everyone should sit quietly listening to her as she holds court and explains herself. I never thought she was all that and surprised so many went gaga over her. 

[jumper sage]

33 minutes ago, Caseysgirl said:

Ok, so this is my first season with this franchise so is it always like this? Dating musical chairs.  This actually reminds me of being at a Junior High Mixer,  just over a longer duration. There were always a lot of tears during them, too.

At least in Jr. high you can cry in the open gym and a mom will bring you cookies and punch.  Trampoline cures all.

23 minutes ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

Francophones in Quebec.  It's a huge cultural difference too!

My brother was one of the hundreds of electricians from Detroit to go up to Quebec during the big ice storm of 1998.  He brought a crew from Motor City Electric to work on the lines going to private homes.  He and his crew had to knock on doors to have the people move their cars so they could get the cherry pickers in and restring the lines.  A lot of the people were trying to tell the guys to speak in French, at that point they just used the international language of waving "bye,bye".  People were sure moving then.  Ha Ha.  Honestly though the rest of Canada is awesome.

 

@TiredMe  You cracked me up!

[Mu Shu]

I like the Québécois . I used to hang out at a French Canadian bar on Hollywood beach.  There was a French Canadian Elvis, and I got a lot of free drinks.  But now it is gone for MArgaritaville.  Damn jimmy buffet.  

where should we hold PTV in paradise?  Im now thinking Everglades City.  Unless it’s no see um season.  Then we would retreat to the east coast.  Probably Islamorada.

[TheFinalRose]

Three hours next week? WHY??? (Nancy Kerrigan voice). 

And, the Colton and Tia show starts creeping its way back in. I hope all that crying next week means they're breaking up .... uh oh ... news flash. That's probably why we are getting three hours because for some reason these *)*)*(*&*(^^&%^ producers think we WANT more C&T? If they are force-feeding us three hours of C&T breaking up I will vomit (while continuing to watch). It will probably be a three-hour build up of Colton's heartbreak so they can ruin the next season of the Bachelor by casting him. 

I think I need to enter Bachelor rehab now so I can be off this show if they cast Colton. Because you know Tia will keep showing up then too and we will never be rid of her. Or Raven. I feel sick. 

[Fable]

37 minutes ago, chocolatine said:

I thought something was off about Benoit since Bachelor Winter Games when everyone else was swooning over him, so now I feel vindicated. ;) Clare dodged a bullet.

I never cared for Benoit either.  In an earlier post I mentioned I thought he was a stalker, but on second thought, I think he is manipulative as hell and thinks his romantic gestures entitle him to a woman’s affections.   He seems to think he is so romantic and suave that no woman should be able to resist him, and if they do, he has no idea why.  However, I don’t rule out the idea that he is also a stalker.  He did continue to pursue Claire and wear her down. 

I sometimes hesitate to say anything about these folks, because I honestly think most of them are following a script and that at least half of what we see is not even real, but the snark is fun nevertheless. 

[TomGirl]

Just when I think I couldn’t possibly love Joe any more, they show him holding that baby, a gorgeous smile on his face, saying, “Uncle Joey’s got you, it’s all good.”  Stick a fork in me, I’m done!

[Kiss my mutt]

If Tia and Colton break up this week, they’ll just get back together the following episode.  As much as I liked John on the bachelorette I’m finding him tiresome and boring.  

Connor.  That was a big nothing burger right there.  Glad to see David go.  I liked him too as the chicken guy but that’s all he’s got.  Boring.

This was my first introduction to Benoit and good riddance.  For someone who thinks he’s so deep and intense, he’s terribly transparent in his fakeness.  It doesn’t surprise me he’s still single. 

Chelsea is going to passed around but no one is really into her.  Wonder who’s stepping in next week.

[Jax7917]

I couldn't pinpoint who tia reminded me of until now . She has the same voice and mannerisms as Maci on teen mom . 

I watch way too much reality tv . 

[Riplet68]

See, shake ups are so much more fun than solid couples!  I just wish they would stop prompting them to say the “he’s the one,” “we have a connection, and so on.  Also wish they would stop with the tonsil hockey.  John did NOT need to kiss Kendall or Chelsea.  You can cement your rose do you can stay longer without sticking your tongue in everyone’s mouths.

i cant figure Chelsea out. I was thinking she was just there for a vacation, but now she’s starting to sound the desperate bachelor horn.

angela is beautiful, way more than new girl.  Yes, Eric is being up front, but he’s not being honest.