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The Duggars and Their World: Fashion, Food, Finance, Schoolin’ and Child Rearin'


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1 hour ago, JoanArc said:

Lots of good info on ATI/Duggars/Bates/etc in this reddit AMA

ATI is so much worse than we even think. Gothard preying on second-born only (per gender). Poor Jill.

We have been discussing this in the old time religion thread. Yes, it really is much worse than we tend to think.

Edited by Jeeves
Autocorrect hates me
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Pretty similar to other stuff known to come out of Gothard. Like this, from a Gothardite explaining why he thinks he sexually abused younger siblings -- 

 

image.thumb.png.2acb922c859f8a0e2aa1e815a6e81f9e.png

Which is followed by his saying stuff like this -- referring to what people in general should do to prevent having molestation in their houses....There's a certain reasonableness to some of it, but it slips over into the paranoid and the way beside the point.....Gothard and company really have never consulted anybody who knows anything. They just go with freaked-out conclusions they come to on their own, fueled by the fear that all males have uncontrollable lusts that can only be warded off by odd measures....

One of the things I learned in the two years of counseling was personal boundaries. There are some basic steps to keep the opportunities of offending away from young men. For example, not letting myself babysit, let little kids sit on my lap, or hang on me, or ever be alone with a little person. 

If i applied these before I offended, it would not have been easy to offend. The simplicity of these boundaries is a small price to pay for such protection....

For example, if the little people want a hug, I get down on one knee and hug them on their level. I don't pick them up or let them hang on me. My mom thought I should mention that one should ask when you want a hug or when you want to be in someone's personal space (within twelve inches of their body) or touch them. 

 

https://gawker.com/the-duggar-homeschool-programs-terrifying-advice-on-sex-1706406324

 

 

 

 

Edited by Churchhoney
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Maybe it was in the bathroom and people zoomed in either from a full shot or a screen shot? 

That was how we found the picture of Michelle sitting on JB's lap and kissing him. Jill posted a bigger picture of the bathroom and we zoomed in on that photo. 

Either that or it's fake. I doubt it's Derick. Probably Pickles of someone trolling Pickles. If it's a random someone trolling Pickles, good she deserves it. 

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 My body belongs to ME first.  God can have it when I’m done with it. 

 Can They even break up in the same sex groups? 

 The fact of us as we post it tells me maybe there’s some kind of problem that was either on going or not related to Josh in that house. That AMA They claimed sexual abuse as a near universal state in this group really bothered me.

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28 minutes ago, Temperance said:

Maybe it was in the bathroom and people zoomed in either from a full shot or a screen shot? 

That was how we found the picture of Michelle sitting on JB's lap and kissing him. Jill posted a bigger picture of the bathroom and we zoomed in on that photo. 

Either that or it's fake. I doubt it's Derick. Probably Pickles of someone trolling Pickles. If it's a random someone trolling Pickles, good she deserves it. 

But how often have we seen the inside of a bathroom at the TTH in order to have this list to enlarge and post? 

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18 hours ago, Churchhoney said:

Pretty similar to other stuff known to come out of Gothard. Like this, from a Gothardite explaining why he thinks he sexually abused younger siblings -- 

 

image.thumb.png.2acb922c859f8a0e2aa1e815a6e81f9e.png

Which is followed by his saying stuff like this -- referring to what people in general should do to prevent having molestation in their houses....There's a certain reasonableness to some of it, but it slips over into the paranoid and the way beside the point.....Gothard and company really have never consulted anybody who knows anything. They just go with freaked-out conclusions they come to on their own, fueled by the fear that all males have uncontrollable lusts that can only be warded off by odd measures....

One of the things I learned in the two years of counseling was personal boundaries. There are some basic steps to keep the opportunities of offending away from young men. For example, not letting myself babysit, let little kids sit on my lap, or hang on me, or ever be alone with a little person. 

If i applied these before I offended, it would not have been easy to offend. The simplicity of these boundaries is a small price to pay for such protection....

For example, if the little people want a hug, I get down on one knee and hug them on their level. I don't pick them up or let them hang on me. My mom thought I should mention that one should ask when you want a hug or when you want to be in someone's personal space (within twelve inches of their body) or touch them. 

 

https://gawker.com/the-duggar-homeschool-programs-terrifying-advice-on-sex-1706406324

 

 

 

 

This also sounds like a way to also double down on the rigid gender roles.  An older brother cannot change his baby sister's diaper lest he be tempted, but an older sister can still change her baby brother's diaper.  He also cannot babysit, but she still can.

sure jan GIF

 

Gothard would have a stroke if he saw the way my sister is raising her kids.  She dares to let her daughter and son bathe together, and clothes are optional for the majority of the day as long as they are in the house.  They have "Naked Baby Time" on an almost daily basis before bedtime.  She even lets them strip down to their diaper/underwear with their friends while painting or other very messy activities.  

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Oh, wait. When I read the sheet in the first post above, I thought it was too grammatically correct and literate to be a Duggar thing.

But if it's really posted under a photo of the Duggar parents? I suppose it is a Duggar thing. Someone probably cut and pasted it from somewhere.

But W.T.F.?

A list of rules about guarding your privacy and protecting your body from unwanted touching (a good idea) - posted in the bathroom, under a photo of your parents KISSING in a clinch? 

Can someone explain that message, because it makes no sense to me.

 

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4 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

Oh, wait. When I read the sheet in the first post above, I thought it was too grammatically correct and literate to be a Duggar thing.

But if it's really posted under a photo of the Duggar parents? I suppose it is a Duggar thing. Someone probably cut and pasted it from somewhere.

But W.T.F.?

A list of rules about guarding your privacy and protecting your body from unwanted touching (a good idea) - posted in the bathroom, under a photo of your parents KISSING in a clinch? 

Can someone explain that message, because it makes no sense to me.

 

Pops and Lolli are always watching you. 👀 👀 Even if you don't reside in the TTH. 

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8 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

 

A list of rules about guarding your privacy and protecting your body from unwanted touching (a good idea) - posted in the bathroom, under a photo of your parents KISSING in a clinch? 

Can someone explain that message, because it makes no sense to me.

 

One of many things I find particularly infuriating about the Duggars is the way they taunt their unmarried children with basically the equivalent of "Look at what you're missing out on, losers!" when it comes to affection with the opposite sex.

I roll my eyes at how clingy a lot of the young marrieds are--always intertwined with each other while sitting on a couch, etc.--but I can't really judge too much since they got so many mixed signals about how to interact with the opposite sex.

It's basically either NO TOUCHING or ALL THE TOUCHING with nothing in between. Except for when it's your brother touching you because apparently that's not so bad, even though if a boy you weren't related to did that exact same thing to you as a consenting adult it's a sin and you gave away pieces of your heart like a slut. What the fuck. 

Edited by Zella
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1 hour ago, GeeGolly said:

I think the pic is photoshopped.

I wouldn't be surprised.  There seems to be many people, especially on Reddit, coming up with bizarre ideas and exaggerated conclusions based on a small amount of facts.  Thus, the false rumors seem to endless. 

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It occurred to me this morning that we are all about to enter the world of "Growing Up Duggar." It was never about teen girls braiding each others hair and talking about Jesus and their future families; it was always about isolation.

Most of us will be spending the next couple of weeks in isolation -- with no one but our families for company. The Duggars have done this for 20+ YEARS!

No jobs, no school, no friends, no activities of any kind, and a once-a-month outing to the grocery store to stock up on canned goods and other pre-apocalypse items. 99.9% of Americans are ALREADY complaining, and the Duggars have done this for 20+ YEARS!!!!!

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29 minutes ago, cmr2014 said:

It occurred to me this morning that we are all about to enter the world of "Growing Up Duggar." It was never about teen girls braiding each others hair and talking about Jesus and their future families; it was always about isolation.

Most of us will be spending the next couple of weeks in isolation -- with no one but our families for company. The Duggars have done this for 20+ YEARS!

No jobs, no school, no friends, no activities of any kind, and a once-a-month outing to the grocery store to stock up on canned goods and other pre-apocalypse items. 99.9% of Americans are ALREADY complaining, and the Duggars have done this for 20+ YEARS!!!!!

Except, we have SM, TV, books, hobbies, etc. We also have critical thinking skills and lives beyond Jesus.

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On 3/16/2020 at 5:11 PM, cmr2014 said:

It occurred to me this morning that we are all about to enter the world of "Growing Up Duggar." It was never about teen girls braiding each others hair and talking about Jesus and their future families; it was always about isolation.

Most of us will be spending the next couple of weeks in isolation -- with no one but our families for company. The Duggars have done this for 20+ YEARS!

No jobs, no school, no friends, no activities of any kind, and a once-a-month outing to the grocery store to stock up on canned goods and other pre-apocalypse items. 99.9% of Americans are ALREADY complaining, and the Duggars have done this for 20+ YEARS!!!!!

Isn't that the truth. We started a lockdown, albeit an fairly "easy" one for now (due to people's utter stupidity) and it feels weird already, although my weekend has been in no way different as I don't socialise much outside of work. But it FEELS odd, as I know that I mustn't do some things in the spirit of "let's not be selfish and stupid".

How do you stand to live like that? Never enjoying the world that's beckoning out, always being afraid (due to my anxiety issues, I am always scared but hell, even I am not THAT scared), always seeing the worst in everything, being paranoid, afraid to enjoy knowledge that is out there, yours for the taking. It's sad.

There's only so much housework one can do, even in their filthy mansion, only so much routine you can bear before you go stark staring mad. Why on earth do this?

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On 3/22/2020 at 7:57 AM, MunichNark said:

Isn't that the truth. We started a lockdown, albeit an fairly "easy" one for now (due to people's utter stupidity) and it feels weird already, although my weekend has been in no way different as I don't socialise much outside of work. But it FEELS odd, as I know that I mustn't do some things in the spirit of "let's not be selfish and stupid".

How do you stand to live like that? Never enjoying the world that's beckoning out, always being afraid (due to my anxiety issues, I am always scared but hell, even I am not THAT scared), always seeing the worst in everything, being paranoid, afraid to enjoy knowledge that is out there, yours for the taking. It's sad.

There's only so much housework one can do, even in their filthy mansion, only so much routine you can bear before you go stark staring mad. Why on earth do this?

I want to like your post more than once.

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On 3/22/2020 at 10:57 AM, MunichNark said:

 

How do you stand to live like that? Never enjoying the world that's beckoning out, always being afraid (due to my anxiety issues, I am always scared but hell, even I am not THAT scared), always seeing the worst in everything, being paranoid, afraid to enjoy knowledge that is out there, yours for the taking. It's sad.

There's only so much housework one can do, even in their filthy mansion, only so much routine you can bear before you go stark staring mad. Why on earth do this?

I don't think you sign up for the life JB and M set up unless you're a person who's a big control  freak who not coincidentally also fears, distrusts (and probably several other negative verbs...) anybody who isn't exactly like you (because people not exactly like you make you see that you're not totally in control...) ......Then your isolation probably feel safe, righteous, etc. 

Then, you produce a bunch of other unwitting people (mostly as babies, some possibly as marryers-in whose vulnerabilities you unconsciously recognized as potentially predisposing them to live in this kind of situation...). And you train them up from day one to see everything in the same fearful, distrustful, etc. way that you do -- and maybe even more so....You drum it into them.....So they go along with it because they've been programmed to think it's the only way to live. And you now have a group of people who constitute a social circle for you -- and you've trained them from birth to submit to your controlling them in all kinds of ways that people not brainwashed-from-birth to do it would likely never let you control them ....

And there you have a kind of ideal situation (for fearful, distrustful, etc., control freaks, that is....) 

All the fun you need is engaging in group paranoia and pushing around your trained-from-birth pushable retinue. You're not just okay with it. You feel like a goddamn little king or queen on earth.....You've got a moat and a bunch of slaves. Who could ask for anything more? 

Been there. Done that. They are very warped people. And they like this. Whereas they wouldn't like "normal" life a bit. 

And they screw up the slaves for a lifetime. Both the ones who escape and the ones who can't manage to get away, including -- maybe especially -- the ones who imagine they don't even want to get away. 

 

Edited by Churchhoney
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6 minutes ago, Temperance said:

Tornados today in Arkansas. It seems to be the northeast side of the state and the Duggars are on the northwest side. Still bad time for a tornado and we turn to on the ground reporter @Zella.  Zella, how are you and how are things in AR?

I'm watching the news and we have tornado like weather heading toward Illinois too. Be safe!

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4 minutes ago, ChiCricket said:

I'm watching the news and we have tornado like weather heading toward Illinois too. Be safe!

Edited to add: I didn't realize this wasn't small talk, so to keep it on topic, I hope the Duggars will be ok (sincerely.)

Edited by ChiCricket
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2 hours ago, kokapetl said:

The Duggars live in a hilly corner of the state. Does that hinder tornados?

Not really, in my opinion. Spring of the year is usually a shitty, scary time around here. It's not like Tornado Alley in places like Kansas and Oklahoma, but it's definitely a valid concern.

I pay attention to the temps before a storm. If they don't drop and it remains hot and muggy, there will be hell to pay. And beware of green skies. :S

Edited by Zella
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9 minutes ago, emma675 said:

Yeah, tornadoes don't really give a damn if the ground is flat, hilly, or full of skyscrapers. I live in Dallas, ask me how I know. ☹

How far is Jonesboro from where the Duggars live? I just realized today that I have no idea where in Arkansas they are.

It's about 4-5 hours east. Basically Jonesboro is in the NE part of the state, close to TN, about an hour from Memphis. The Duggars live in the NWA metro area, which is NW part of the state, not even a full hour from the OK border. 

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The NWS released this last year, and I have found it interesting:

The Duggars, depending on which Duggars we're talking about, live in Washington and Benton counties. Jonesboro is in Craighead County. This info is current as of last year and it shows in approximately 60 years, Craighead County has had 40 tornadoes. Benton County has had 54 and Washington County has had 34. I don't see a lot of rhyme or reason to which counties have more. But there have been a lot more deaths in Craighead county. 

https://www.weather.gov/lzk/svrbro9.htm

The info doesn't count tornado warnings for potentially tornadic storms, just the ones that actually dropped tornadoes. There are several of those every spring, at least for my county. 

Do the Duggars even have weather radios, I wonder, or a storm basement? I keep a couple of different local weather apps on my phone, and I know many people around here who do. 

Edited by Zella
7 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

They definitely don't have a basement. TLC  showed them setting up the radiant heating system onto the concrete slab foundation in an early special.

A lot of folks don't have basements because they can't afford it, but I can't fathom why they didn't plan for that. Oh, wait, there I go again, expecting logic from these morons. 

But seriously unless they have a storm shelter, that's dangerous. 😞 

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7 minutes ago, BigBingerBro said:

I seems to recall during the TTH building episode(s) that the kits they bought are super storm resistant.  JB was bragging about it.  I can't recall if he mentioned tornadoes specifically however.

No matter how storm resistant, no house can withstand a direct hit from a tornado which is probably the most common natural disaster in NW Arkansas.   The Duggars are exactly the sort of fools who would build a house without a storm cellar. And, of course, JD and Abbie live in a trailer, Jessa's house is tiny and Joe's place doesn't look too substantial, either.  While they all could conceivable go to the TTH when the weather is threatening, we are in the midst of a pandemic and they shouldn't.  Anyone who lives in a place where tornadoes are common also knows that you often get just a few minutes to get to safety when the tornado is heading your way.  We also get dozens of tornado watches and warnings every spring and it isn't practical to bug out to the parents' place every time/

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1 hour ago, BigBingerBro said:

I seems to recall during the TTH building episode(s) that the kits they bought are super storm resistant.  JB was bragging about it.  I can't recall if he mentioned tornadoes specifically however.

  You mean the kids that were assembled by 12-year-olds?

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Bringing together the multiple fashion conversations from the other threads.

With exception of maybe Jinger (& Jill?), none of the Duggar daughters or female in-laws have lost their Fundy fashion completely (or at all). On any given day, we could pick them out of a line up depending on their outfit.

Joy and Jessa still scream Fundy on most days. Jana, Lauren, Abbie and Kendra come in a close second. 

Jill and her pants are a bit confusing, so maybe she doesn't scream Fundy, but she doesn't scream fashion either.

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1 minute ago, GeeGolly said:

Bringing together the multiple fashion conversations from the other threads.

With exception of maybe Jinger (& Jill?), none of the Duggar daughters or female in-laws have lost their Fundy fashion completely (or at all). On any given day, we could pick them out of a line up depending on their outfit.

Joy and Jessa still scream Fundy on most days. Jana, Lauren, Abbie and Kendra come in a close second. 

Jill and her pants are a bit confusing, so maybe she doesn't scream Fundy, but she doesn't scream fashion either.

I think Jill just doesn't have a great knack or eye for fashion. Some people do, and some don't. Maybe she'll develop a sense of what works for her, as time goes by. At least it's been awhile since she was wearing whatever she could scrounge from the communal Duggar closet, and living under the headship thumb of a Gothard adherent. She's emerging from all that and is bound to get some things right and other things wrong. 

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9 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

I think Jill just doesn't have a great knack or eye for fashion. Some people do, and some don't. Maybe she'll develop a sense of what works for her, as time goes by. At least it's been awhile since she was wearing whatever she could scrounge from the communal Duggar closet, and living under the headship thumb of a Gothard adherent. She's emerging from all that and is bound to get some things right and other things wrong. 

I do feel bad for Jill.  She missed experimenting with fashion during her high school and undergraduate years like so many of us.  She broke free later and is now playing catch up.  She also feels the need to document everything because of her upbringing.  I made some fashion choices when I was younger and I am glad that happened well before everyone had a camera permanently attached to their hand and the ability to share instantly.  

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