S07.E03: Who Did I Marry?

[Drogo]

After marrying as complete strangers the newlyweds are alone for the first time on their wedding night. The next morning the couples find out where they will be heading on their honeymoons but first they have to face their new in laws at brunch.

[PityFree]

Danielle’s eyebrows are killing me. 

[Gem 10]

O.k. That’s better.  On the right page now.

Dave looks pleased, so far.  Mia is sooo shy.  Hope she breaks out of it.

Wasn’t Dave’s wife, what’s her name, supposed to take off the extensions when she went to bed?

Bobby looks like he’s in heaven, Danielle also.

Edited July 18, 2018 by Gem 10

[LilaFowler]

I'm baffled as to why Danielle appears to still have her wedding hairstyle. No one showered? I don't know why I'm stuck on this and still thinking about it, but I am.

[PityFree]

Just now, LilaFowler said:

I'm baffled as to why Danielle appears to still have her wedding hairstyle. No one showered? I don't know why I'm stuck on this and still thinking about it, but I am.

I was thinking the same thing.  Apparently, Danielle doesn’t perspire? Otherwise, gross. 

[Straycat80]

They are all going to Cancun on their honeymoons. If they don’t get along at least they will have someone else to talk to. 

[Gem 10]

1 minute ago, PityFree said:

I was thinking the same thing.  Apparently, Danielle doesn’t perspire? Otherwise, gross. 

Danielle’s hair is weighing her down.  Hope she cuts it.  Geeze, on my wedding night, I took a bubble bath and washed my hair to get the spray net out, powered up and put a nice nighty on.  Lol.  Long, long time ago.  Now I can barely get out of the tub.

[LilaFowler]

5 minutes ago, PityFree said:

I was thinking the same thing.  Apparently, Danielle doesn’t perspire? Otherwise, gross. 

Right? I mean, it's Texas and they were filming all day. There is no way they weren't sweating, especially with the stress and anxiety. I'm turned off by this. It's just weird when people don't bathe.

[ShowFan]

Omg were these Boby’s shoes next to the food??? Did Mommy not teach him shoes don’t go on the table ?

[Straycat80]

Amber says maybe we will have a honeymoon baby. Dave already has realized she’s high maintenance and now he knows she has baby fever. Run. Dave. 

[LilaFowler]

4 minutes ago, Straycat80 said:

Amber says maybe we will have a honeymoon baby. Dave already has realized she’s high maintenance and now he knows she has baby fever. Run. Dave. 

That is insane. There is something wrong under that hood.

[brilliantbreakfast]

1 minute ago, LilaFowler said:

That is insane. There is something wrong under that hood.

First of all, yikes.  Baby madness.  I have known far too many people in my life who married the wrong guy because they wanted a baby.  In this case, she doesn't even know this guy and already she wants a baby.

Second of all....why are guys surprised when a woman who looks like a Barbie doll is "high maintenance"?  Do they think these gals look like this naturally?

Third:  There is no reason why your husband has to watch you brush your teeth and put on your makeup.  Intimacy is fine, but that is not necessary.  Jeez, keep a LITTLE mystery.

[PupCal]

Can't wait to find out what this Customs drama is.

[Booger666]

I assumed Danielle wore a shower cap when she bathed so she didn’t have to dry and restyle her hair for the brunch.

[PityFree]

2 minutes ago, Booger666 said:

I assumed Danielle wore a shower cap when she bathed so she didn’t have to dry and restyle her hair for the brunch.

 I assume she stinks.

[Empress1]

30 minutes ago, Straycat80 said:

Amber says maybe we will have a honeymoon baby. Dave already has realized she’s high maintenance and now he knows she has baby fever. Run. Dave. 

I suspect that was a voice-over. Her back was to the camera & Dave didn’t react.

Where were Dave’s parents at brunch? Maybe they don’t like Amber.

Amber’s hair looks so bad. Just parched AF. And everything about Amber says high maintenance so it’s odd that Dave was surprised. Sometimes men are clueless.

Methinks Amber has been ghosted and dumped a few times. The way she said being married felt like she could make a mistake and Dave wouldn’t just stop talking to her was a clue. 

I don’t wash my hair every day (natural curly hair; it gets dry if I do) so I could preserve a hairstyle with a shower cap, but Danielle appears to have slept in her wedding hair AND makeup, the latter of which is bad for the skin.

Mia was pulled away for questioning st the airport? Does she have a warrant out?!

[ECM1231]

5 minutes ago, Booger666 said:

I assumed Danielle wore a shower cap when she bathed so she didn’t have to dry and restyle her hair for the brunch.

That makes sense but why was she wearing the same athletic outfit she had changed into in the evening if she had showered? I noticed that while she was brushing her teeth. 

[humbleopinion]

The warrant and arrest with mug shot is discussed in the Spoilery speculation thread....

[ramble]

Well that was boring. It felt like 75% of the show was a retread. That’s probably because they do the coming up and previously crap at the start and end of every commercial break. Do they not have enough usable footage to fill 45 minutes? 

I find it curious that Dave’s family was not invited to brunch. At least that’s how he made it sound. Seems like there’s a story there. Any doubt about Amber’s high maintenance level was put to rest with her suitcase of products. 

Did every brunch involve the question, “Did you do the deed yet?” Way to class up this low rent reality fame whore fest family members. Everyone seemed awkward and the more a family member or friend said how great a couple these folks were together the more I wondered who they were trying to convince. 

Highest on the bugging me meter tonight: Bobby Jr. and Mia. He skeeves me out and she seems fake. However I would’ve paid good money to see Bobby Sr. and Bobby Mama telling their boy goodbye as he pulled away to go with his wife on a honeymoon. 

By the way y’all did you know these folks are now husbands and wives as in my husband or my wife? Maybe if you say it often enough you won’t regret what you’ve done or feel the need to cry in your complimentary champagne. 

[bichonblitz]

Ok, what's up with Dave? He invites his 3 buddies to brunch but no parents, no siblings? Were they at the wedding? Red flags already with that guy. 

Listen, when I travel I like to have my shit with me. Blow dryer, straightening iron,styling brushes, several hair products (depending on my mood any particular day), shampoo, conditioner, make-up, face cleanser, eye cream, moisturizer, cotton balls, q-tips, lol!. I can still get ready pretty quickly and don't consider myself any more high maintenance than the average female. I don't, however, have any idea how you would maintain that rat's nest of extensions on Amber's head so that may take some extra products and time....

[humbleopinion]

Dave is a scrap booker.....multifaceted....

Dave's shady answer about his parents not being at the brunch...Amber is right to raise a red flag.

Amber mentioned Honeymoon baby twice after being married less than 2 days...Run Dave or at least double bag your groceries...if you get my drift

Jephte is your cautionary tale...

Bobby's ring size was 6.  Production needed to add some regular sized condoms with the Magnum rubbers in the bowl...just saying....

His boxers are a libido killer....

Danielle's wedding hairdo was intact so I am guessing no sexy time for the Dodds....no way that bun would have survived horizontal friction....

 Bobby is the pinkest person, he hasn't stopped blushing since the I do....

 I don't buy Tristan and Mia...very forced.

It all fun and games until your stranger wife gets detained at DFW....

[Blissfool]

Am I supposed to be folding my clothes inside out when I pack a suitcase. Is Danielle a packing mastermind genius or is she just lazy?

[Yeah No]

2 hours ago, bichonblitz said:

Ok, what's up with Dave? He invites his 3 buddies to brunch but no parents, no siblings? Were they at the wedding? Red flags already with that guy. 

Either his parents really don't approve of him doing the show and/or don't like Amber specifically, which is why I didn't blame her when she got insecure about it.  He may not have the greatest relationship with his parents, which is yet another red flag.  But what I didn't like is that he basically lied to her about why they didn't come and chose to gloss it over with some lame ass story rather than tell her the truth.  But right now she's so baby crazy she won't even grill him about it.  Ugh.

[Yeah No]

1 hour ago, humbleopinion said:

Bobby's ring size was 6.  Production needed to add some regular sized condoms with the Magnum rubbers in the bowl...just saying....

LOL, the look on Danielle's face when she found out his ring size was so small compared to the other guys told the tale, but then I realized how slightly built she is too, so perhaps their sizes match if you catch my drift!

Is it me?  I think Danielle resembles Bobby's mother more than a little bit.

[Jack Sampson]

I hoped Amber would look younger without the makeup but no such luck.  If anything, she looks manly.  Can she even get pregnant?  Dave needs to bail...quickly.

Mia should have never passed the vetting process.  Tristan deserved a fair shot.

Danielle seems happy with the high-soy Bobby.  Good for her, I guess.  Bobby is just happy to be around a woman who isn't his mother.

[2727]

7 hours ago, ramble said:

I find it curious that Dave’s family was not invited to brunch.

I was trying to remember the casting special and wedding. Dave didn't trot out his family togetherness that I remember (and certainly not the way Bobby did). It's not uncommon for people not to be that close with their families, but the way Dave avoided the subject came off as a bit sketchy.

Danielle's parents seemed a lot more relaxed and normal in their post-wedding interviews. Being filmed on Facetime with their daughter for a (supposedly) unknown reason may have made them warier and more reserved than they usually are. Congratulations to them for taking the unprecedented step of getting on a plane, though!

It was interesting that one of Bobby's first questions to Dr. Jessica was about Danielle's resting blank face. I'm guessing we'll see her repressed personality/low affect come into play again as a rock Bobby continues to crash against. (Not that I'm on his side in anything yet, but his expectations about relationships seem to lean towards constant coddling and praise.)

Edited July 18, 2018 by 2727

[biakbiak]

7 hours ago, ramble said:

was boring. It felt like 75% of the show was a retread. That’s probably because they do the coming up and previously crap at the start and end of every commercial break. Do they not have enough usable footage to fill 45 minutes? 

Yeah I need to cancel my season pass and just manually record the new episodes because it records all the peripheral shit.

[humbleopinion]

Danielle looks like she could be Bobby's sister....and in 25 years she will look like his mama...giving you my need to call Dr. Freud side eye....

Bobby is in full blush about how well Danielle fits in the family Christmas card photo... sexually, emotionally and mentally.

Pretty sure his revolver went off while it was in the holster during the night... if you get my drift.....

Bobby's relief was palpable when his bride wasn't an old grey mare that was rode hard and put away wet...like some other bride we know of....

I am over trumpet style wedding dresses...Danielle looked like a writhing burrito walking down the aisle...

Were her knees sewn together?

Edited July 19, 2018 by humbleopinion

[bichonblitz]

5 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Either his parents really don't approve of him doing the show and/or don't like Amber specifically

I can understand them not approving of him doing the show but how in the heck can you not like someone you don't even know? 

[Booger666]

9 hours ago, ECM1231 said:

That makes sense but why was she wearing the same athletic outfit she had changed into in the evening if she had showered? I noticed that while she was brushing her teeth. 

I think she went to bed and slept in that outfit, which is weird.  Have we seen her in shorts yet?  Maybe she was embarrassed by her spray tan which she overshared about last ep.  She did put on makeup in the am which is why I assumed she showered in the am.  I remember bc Bobby was standing to the side watching her put on her makeup like he had never seen a real live female up close before.  It was creepy.

[Yeah No]

20 minutes ago, Booger666 said:

I think she went to bed and slept in that outfit, which is weird. 

Oh, she definitely did.  She was still wearing the fake eyelashes, which had gone cockeyed by morning.

[humbleopinion]

Danielle has been watching youtube packing pro tips...

The inside out very dark jeans she was folding will bleed like a stuck pig if they get wet or any moisture ...am surprised she doesn't put them in a plastic bag to prevent wetness.

Am sure Danielle showered before she went to bed and when she got up to get ready for brunch(straightening her fake lashes)...she is sneaking out of bed putting on makeup and slipping back in the covers so she looks good for the morning camera close ups...very Molly.

Amber has too many "necessities" to pull herself together....girl can't do carry on with needing an XL ziploc to hold her potions and lotions....

Bet the trowel needed to spackle on her foundation takes as much room in her pink AWAY luggage as the implements to style her fried hair....

Don't people use plastic bags or shoe bags when they pack their dirty shoes inside their luggage with their clean clothes?

Mia showered because the ends of her hair was wet when she changed into her track outfit, Tristan didn't...ick

[Mercolleen]

Bobby seems less like a controlling psycho in this ep and more like a 12-year-old dorky child.

Amber's extensions make me sad. But at least they're better than Pao's on 90-Day Fiance.

[humbleopinion]

Am sure Shawniece is talking to her TV about the travesty that is Amber's extensions.

When Bobby was sitting on the side of the bed in his lime green boxers, facing the camera crew and Danielle comes out of the bathroom in her athleisurewear...he did look like a preadolescent Forrest Gump. 

Did Bobby forget to pack his wedding pajamas that his mama bought for him?

[Kareem]

Wow, I think you solved the mystery of Pao's bozo hair - Shauniece!  On loan from the other Molly.  

[Gem 10]

Can someone please tell me what heading I should be on.  I’m going back n forth between three .. speculation, episode 3 and another.  What’s going on .. everything is screwed up.  Was there a full moon last night?  Which is the proper thread?  Please.

[humbleopinion]

Am just as confused as you are...put the Unfiltered episode snark in the Speculation thread as a catch all because it is too hard to remember what Unfiltered goes with what episode.

Episode 3 is from the wedding night to the couples' departure for Cancun/Tulum including Tristan's anguish of not knowing why Ameea was detained and arrested at DFW.

Dumping so many episodes on one night is annoying.

[Crazy Bird Lady]

2 minutes ago, humbleopinion said:

Am just as confused as you are...put the Unfiltered episode snark in the Speculation thread as a catch all because it is too hard to remember what Unfiltered goes with what episode.

Episode 3 is from the wedding night to the couples' departure for Cancun/Tulum including Tristan's anguish of not knowing why Ameea was detained and arrested at DFW.

Dumping so many episodes on one night is annoying.

For sure!

[MV713]

13 hours ago, PityFree said:

Danielle’s eyebrows are killing me. 

Danielle's who like dogs apparently do not have a clue how to do their eyebrows.

12 hours ago, PupCal said:

Can't wait to find out what this Customs drama is.

Impressed you haven't checked spoilers :)  Now that's self-restraint!  I had to immediately.

[Crazy Bird Lady]

13 hours ago, PupCal said:

Can't wait to find out what this Customs drama is.

Glad you resisted the "spoilers". 

For sure, your bride being held up by customs on the way to your romantic overseas honeymoon would be an eye-opener!

Edited July 18, 2018 by Crazy Bird Lady

[Yeah No]

I'm going nuts because my DVR keeps recording the same episode over and over again.  Don't they label them as repeats?

[Nancybeth]

I think this is simply Tristan misspeaking, but you wouldn't be held up by customs on your way TO a foreign country, would you?  They were still at the DFW airport, which means she was detained by the TSA.  They would only process through customs (and get detained) if they were entering Mexico, or returning to the US after the honeymoon.  

Also, why do these women never bring any "cute" pajamas for their wedding night.  I realize that obviously they're not going to bust out the lingerie with a stranger.  But there are a lot of other options between Victoria's Secret and Lululemon's finest workout gear.  How about silk shorts and a matching camisole?  Something??  It drives me crazy every season.  One bride (I can't remember who, they all blend together) spent her wedding night in a tee-shirt that said something about pizza!  

[LuvMyShows]

5 hours ago, 2727 said:

It was interesting that one of Bobby's first questions to Dr. Jessica was about Danielle's resting blank face. I'm guessing we'll see her repressed personality/low affect come into play again as a rock Bobby continues to crash against. (Not that I'm on his side in anything yet, but his expectations about relationships seem to lean towards constant coddling and praise.)

Interesting observation about his expectations vis coddling/praise....that would go with being a mama's boy.

21 minutes ago, Nancybeth said:

I think this is simply Tristan misspeaking, but you wouldn't be held up by customs on your way TO a foreign country, would you?  They were still at the DFW airport, which means she was detained by the TSA.  They would only process through customs (and get detained) if they were entering Mexico, or returning to the US after the honeymoon.  

US airports are a place where people can be detained/caught from something they did wrong within the US, not just for something related to flying risk/danger or to the country they are going to.

[Nancybeth]

5 minutes ago, LuvMyShows said:

US airports are a place where people can be detained/caught from something they did wrong within the US, not just for something related to flying risk/danger or to the country they are going to.

Right.  My point is that Customs wouldn't be detaining her in a US airport -- TSA would.  I think Tristan just misspoke, but it's confusing to watch the previews.  Customs would detain you IN a foreign country, or coming back to the US.  

[seniorpatriot]

15 hours ago, Gem 10 said:

O.k. That’s better.  On the right page now.

Dave looks pleased, so far.  Mia is sooo shy.  Hope she breaks out of it.

Wasn’t Dave’s wife, what’s her name, supposed to take off the extensions when she went to bed?

Bobby looks like he’s in heaven, Danielle also.

Danielle did not undo her hair or brush it before bed AND she kept on the same makeup from the day before. Her eyelashes showed it.

[OnTime]

15 hours ago, PupCal said:

Can't wait to find out what this Customs drama is.

Probably nothing. I think the producers are running out of ideas.

Didn't Shawniece and what's his name miss their flight or had some type of fight drama last season??

[Blissfool]

5 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

Danielle has been watching youtube packing pro tips...

The inside out very dark jeans she was folding will bleed like a stuck pig if they get wet or any moisture ...am surprised she doesn't put them in a plastic bag to prevent wetness.

Good to know!

Is there also a YouTube video about being barefoot when meeting with a therapist because she was barefoot when she and Bobby were talking to Dr Jessica before the honeymoon. Dr Jessica and Bobby had their shoes on.

Also, I KNOW she's been watching YouTube videos about eyebrows. She's taking it too, too far though.

[humbleopinion]

I am sure Bobby will tell Dr. Jessica that Danielle's eyebrows scare him...

Who walks on hotel room carpet with bare feet?..ick.

Danelle has traveled the world so walking on scummy carpet isn't a concern for her....yuck.

[humbleopinion]

Dr. Jessica came to each couple's Lucky Spur suite with a basket filled snacks, adult games( dice game) and the destination of their Honeymoon plus some pop up therapy and support.

Not wearing footwear/slippers/flip flops in hotels is a leap of faith in cleanliness I am not able to take.

My home... shoes off because the floors and carpet are clean.

[Gem 10]

2 minutes ago, humbleopinion said:

Dr. Jessica came to each couple's Lucky Spur suite with a basket filled snacks, adult games( dice game) and the destination of their Honeymoon plus some pop up therapy and support.

Not wearing footwear/slippers/flip flops in hotels is a leap of faith in cleanliness I am not able to take.

My home... shoes off because the floors and carpet are clean.

I just cringe when these therapists come by the next morning and ask stupid ass questions.  What the hell do they want to hear .. “yes, we had a rip roaring time screwing all night long”.   IMO, these three professionals do more harm than good.  Leave the couples alone.  (But then there would be no show). Lol.