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Bastet

Syndication Edits: "I am devastated, just devastated!"

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This topic was raised in another thread, and since the show has been syndicated for so long and by so many networks, there is much grousing to be done about what has been left on the cutting room floor over the years to make way for more commercials.  Jokes cut off before the punch line, bits deleted while later dialogue referring back to them was retained, content-based censoring by the puritans at Hallmark Channel ... complain about the syndicators' tinkering with perfection here.

Edited by Bastet
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Great thread idea and title.

 

Logo can eat dirt and die.  I'd swear that whoever does their commercial break edits is from the south side of St. Olaf.

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Hallmark and TVLand aren't any better. Both are notorious for either (1) editing out a joke; (2) editing out the lead up or the punchline of a joke; or (3) dropping a commercial break in the middle of a joke. It drives me absolutely batty when it cuts to commercial in the middle of the joke, and returns with the audience still laughing. Like, what? If they must edit something out for time, why don't they simply shorten the opening credits? It's not as if people are used to seeing openings anymore. Today, most shows have lifeless title cards. 

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I never watched the show in primetime when it originally aired, I only watched it in syndication.  Then I bought the firwst few seasons on DVD so I could enjoy it when I wanted and was shocked and suprised at how much gets cut out in syndication!   Some part are actually rather cruicial to the plot in many cases.

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I've noticed on both TVLand and Hallmark that they either speed up the tempo of the transition music (going to the next scene or commercial) or insert it in entirely the wrong place. And I hate how they cut out some of the funniest bits just for more ad time. One of the worst I can think of is in the first season's finale, "The Way We Met," where they often cut out a big chunk of the girls' grocery shopping trip and then chop up Dorothy's lead-in to Rose's telling of the Great Herring War story.

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Logo can eat dirt and die.  I'd swear that whoever does their commercial break edits is from the south side of St. Olaf.

 

I think the worst edit I've seen on Logo is in the episode where Blanche takes Dorothy to the Rusty Anchor. They add a commercial break just as Blanche gets on the piano and begins singing. It's so bizarre. It's like they're added it because of time, without noticing they were destroying the scene.

 

I've started borrowing the DVDs from the library so I can see what I've been missing. 

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In the episode where Big Daddy gets remarried and Dorothy and Rose enter a song writing contest, Hallmark cuts out the whole conversation between Dorothy and Rose about "thrice". So later when Rose says that the "thrice of them" are sitting on the couch, the joke makes no sense.

 

I always thought the Hallmark edits were the worse until Logo came along.

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Was watching on a tv without a DVR so I couldn't rewind so did I have a mild stroke or was the theme song sped up just a tad on the Hallmark channel? It sounded different.

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was the theme song sped up just a tad on the Hallmark channel?

 

I felt like it was sped up, too, when I was watching over the weekend (same channel).

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Ok. Thanks guys! It's insane how badly they chop up the episodes. The random times they go to commercials drives me crazy!

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I hate the editing that Hallmark does! There are so many memorable, hilarious moments that are cut out of episodes and it kind of ruins the magic of the show! I hope people who are seeing episodes for the first time do not experience it through Hallmark viewing because they will not get the real deal. A few days back the channel was just showing the Barbara Thorndyke episode ("Dorothy's New Friend"), one of my all-time faves, and they got rid of a big chunk of the conversation between Barbara and Rose and Blanche about her broach. And what's more, during Dorothy's awesome little speech where she was telling off Barabara, there was a weird editing with audience laughter when Dorothy was supposed to say "Go to hell, hmm?" I guess that is not appropriate for Hallmark?

 

I agree that the commercial breaks come at strange places in the scenes. And yes, the opening credits song was sped up. 

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there was a weird editing with audience laughter when Dorothy was supposed to say "Go to hell, hmm?" I guess that is not appropriate for Hallmark?

 

The puritans at Hallmark will leave in something like "what the hell," but "go to hell" always gets censored.  This is, after all, the network that censored the word "butt."  "Butt."  The word every other network would use as a substitute if "ass" was verboten.

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So what does the mug say that reads, "I lost my (censored) in Vegas?"  I don't think I've ever heard that line in its entirety on any channel.

Edited by LilWharveyGal

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No "butt" but I've heard them leave in "slut." How the h-e-double hockey sticks does that make sense?

While playing the alphabet game I remembered one: Miles had become really tight recently (cue Blanche: I luuuuuv a tight man) and when he and Rose discussed it over tap water and the $18.50, Miles confessed his doctor told him he'd live to be 100 but Miles was only budgeted to live until 85. Hallmark cuts out that whole part so we never learn why Miles had become so frickin frugal.

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Right about now, I would pay money to deal with Hallmark's edits… because they've been showing Christmas movies for the past week instead of the Girls (at least during the times I usually watch). WTF?? They take their commitment to being the "official holiday channel" way too seriously.

 

Sorry, had to vent, I now return you to your regularly scheduled thread. 

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There seems to be no consistency with regard to which words Hallmark will bleep out. I just hate how jarring it is to my enjoyment of the show.

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A bit ago I was watching Hallmark and saw the "Sophia buys a nectarine" episode, which she gives it to the kid who probably has AIDS (I don't think it's specifically said) and the whole bit was edited out.  I mean, the nectarine.  That's the point of the show.  It comes full circle, she's buying it for him so he can stay strong.  Why edit out anything that is integral to the storyline?  Why even edit, since most of us DVR and fast forward through those precious commercials, anyway. 

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Right about now, I would pay money to deal with Hallmark's edits… because they've been showing Christmas movies for the past week instead of the Girls

Preaching to the choir. It takes me weeks after Christmas to get back into the habit of watching Hallmark.

Lucy's episode was on tonight, and Sophia told Blanche, "The girl's a slut." Not bleeped. The censors at Hallmark sure like their sluts.

Edited by Kiddvideofan

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A bit ago I was watching Hallmark and saw the "Sophia buys a nectarine" episode, which she gives it to the kid who probably has AIDS (I don't think it's specifically said) and the whole bit was edited out.  I mean, the nectarine.  That's the point of the show.  It comes full circle, she's buying it for him so he can stay strong.  Why edit out anything that is integral to the storyline?  Why even edit, since most of us DVR and fast forward through those precious commercials, anyway. 

I am now just realizing I've only ever seen the episode in syndication, because until I read your post, I had no idea that Sophia bought a kid a nectarine.  

 

The edit I always hated was the Hallmark one in Ebb Tide's Revenge.  After Rose tells Sophia that you can't say "queer" anymore you say "gay", Sophia responds with "They say gay if a guy can sing the entire score of 'Gigi.' But, a six foot three, two hundred pound married man with kids, who likes to dress up like Dorothy Lamour, I think you have to go with queer."

 

And instead of cutting away from her, since they bleep everything after "gay", they just let you see the line, only it's silent while she's talking.  If you're going to cut out the whole line, you might as well just cut her out, rather than drop the sound.

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Hallmark is notorious for editing out curse words. Even something innocuous like "hell" gets bleeped. 

 

[OT] I've got one better than that. When Hallmark ran the movie It Could Happen To You, after Nicolas Cage's character wins the lottery and shows up at the diner where Bridget Fonda's character works to share the money, she freaks out and starts saying, "Oh, my God! Oh, my God!" Only they silenced the word 'God', so she's flailing around and saying, "Oh, my ---! Oh, my ---!"[/OT]

 

Lucy's episode was on tonight, and Sophia told Blanche, "The girl's a slut." Not bleeped. The censors at Hallmark sure like their sluts.

Sophia is also always calling Blanche a slut, and that never gets bleeped either. It's very weird. Also, 'The censors at Hallmark sure like their sluts' is making me laugh inappropriately.

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I just saw the episode  where Dorothy injures her foot tap dancing and has to go to the hospital for surgery. Watched on DVD and there's an entire scene with a priest mistakenly coming into Dorothy's room to administer last rites. Then he finds out her surgery is scheduled for the next day and says he'll be back tomorrow just in case. It was a funny scene I've never seen before. Hallmark apparently cut out the whole scene.

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I just saw the episode  where Dorothy injures her foot tap dancing and has to go to the hospital for surgery. Watched on DVD and there's an entire scene with a priest mistakenly coming into Dorothy's room to administer last rites. Then he finds out her surgery is scheduled for the next day and says he'll be back tomorrow just in case. It was a funny scene I've never seen before. Hallmark apparently cut out the whole scene.

 

That scene was in the Lifetime (and possibly TVLand) edits, because I can recall it and I've never seen the episode on DVD. 

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I just saw the episode  where Dorothy injures her foot tap dancing and has to go to the hospital for surgery. Watched on DVD and there's an entire scene with a priest mistakenly coming into Dorothy's room to administer last rites. Then he finds out her surgery is scheduled for the next day and says he'll be back tomorrow just in case. It was a funny scene I've never seen before. Hallmark apparently cut out the whole scene.

I know someone has aired that because I've seen it (and I've never watched the DVDs).  But Hallmark probably thought it was offensive or something ridiculous.  I hate their edits.  Though today, I saw a new scene (to me) where Dorothy is sleeping with the guy from Beatlemania and Sophia says something like "Are you telling me, your mother, you slept with a perfect stranger?" and Dorothy says something like "Of course not, it was an incredible simulation." (Which is how she earlier had described Beatlemania so it was a related joke).  I really think that maybe I just need the DVDs. 

 

I swear I remember a scene I haven't seen in forever that occurs at the end of the episode where Blanche comes back from her grandma's house being demolished and brings home the wind chimes that contain her grandmother's spirit, except, while trying to sleep, they won't stop tinkling and Blanche starts telling her grandma to shut up.  (Just looked it up on the internet--it DOES exist!  I haven't lost my mind!)

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I swear I remember a scene I haven't seen in forever that occurs at the end of the episode where Blanche comes back from her grandma's house being demolished and brings home the wind chimes that contain her grandmother's spirit, except, while trying to sleep, they won't stop tinkling and Blanche starts telling her grandma to shut up.  (Just looked it up on the internet--it DOES exist!  I haven't lost my mind!)

 

The final season had bits that played out during the end credits. Blanche telling her grandmother to be quiet was one of them. (I love the last moment, when the chimes ring, and Blanche gets all offended and says, "Peckerwood?!?!") They're usually edited out in syndication, but some time recently I noticed one network playing them. I'm pretty sure it was We TV.

 

The end credit gag that really sticks out in my memory is from the pope's ring episode - it involves Sophia and the pope playing cards at the kitchen table. 

Edited by Blakeston

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The end credit gag that really sticks out in my memory is from the pope's ring episode - it involves Sophia and the pope playing cards at the kitchen table.

Oh yeah, I remember that one! That was funny!

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The final season had bits that played out during the end credits. Blanche telling her grandmother to be quiet was one of them. (I love the last moment, when the chimes ring, and Blanche gets all offended and says, "Peckerwood?!?!") They're usually edited out in syndication, but some time recently I noticed one network playing them. I'm pretty sure it was We TV.

 

The end credit gag that really sticks out in my memory is from the pope's ring episode - it involves Sophia and the pope playing cards at the kitchen table. 

 

I saw that once on one channel and it was the first (maybe last?) time I'd seen it. Hilarious. This is why I keep wanting to get the DVDs, but I only have the first one so far. It has several bits that I'd never seen before.

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My favorite edit was one on Hallmark about five years ago; it was in the "Yes, We Have No Havanas" episode.

 

After Blanche told Sophia that Sophia could have Fidel and Sophia (amusingly) said, "okay, good night," whomever edited the episode inserted music that signals a commercial break (as the camera lingers on Blanche's face), the screen faded to black, and the dialogue picked up in the middle of the next scene. Hard to describe, but it was absolutely ridiculous.

 

It was also ridiculous, and hilarious, when Dorothy told Barbara Thorndyke to "go to hell," and the audience's response was superimposed over the dialogue. (Quite loudly, too.)

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Logo actually scored some points with me yesterday with one of their edits. In the flashback scene where Blanche and Rose meet at the supermarket bulletin board, they cut out the little boy that Rose gives her cat to. I never cared for that kid.

Of course, Logo used the time to air the same annoying Rupaul commercial for the bajillionth time, but for a second there I was actually happy with them.

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I'm always disappointed in the Valentine's Day flashback when they cut the whole bit about Sophia's dad stumbling into A St. Valentine's Day Massacre (not "The" but "A" because that kind of stuff happens all the time back in the day)

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I just started watching this on Hulu, as I recently got rid of my cable.  I've always known that Hallmark has cut out a lot of the shows, but I never realized how much until now.    Take, for instance, Diamond in the Rough.  Hallmark cuts the whole scene where Jake takes Blanche to the dive bar.    I never knew the scene existed.  It adds so much more, seeing as Blanche is very hesitant to hook up with him  because of his "blue-collar" roots. 

 

 Another example is Who's face is this Anyway,  Blanche wants to get plastic surgery after going to her reunion.  The "B" story is Rose making a documentary style video of the housemates.   Hallmark cut out the scene where Sophia is dolled up in Italian garb and making a lasagna for Dorothy to eat for breakfast.  The lasagna then gets put on top of the stove.  That's one Blanche walks in all upset, and starts digging into the entire lasagna.  Without the Sophia scene, I never knew why lasagna was just there for blanche. 

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I've seen Blanche and Jake at the dive bar on Hallmark, but it seems they change up the editing quite often.  

I wonder why Lifetime gave up this gem?

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On 6/28/2017 at 6:21 PM, ButterQueen said:

I wonder why Lifetime gave up this gem?

Maybe it got too expensive? (I don't necessarily buy that, just a theory.) Or maybe it just wanted to try something else. To me, Lifetime has been in decline since the '80s, anyway, and just seems like mostly cheesy/trashy TV now. (Still recall its old "Television for Women" slogan.)

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On 7/13/2014 at 10:45 AM, rubaco said:

Right about now, I would pay money to deal with Hallmark's edits… because they've been showing Christmas movies for the past week instead of the Girls (at least during the times I usually watch). WTF?? They take their commitment to being the "official holiday channel" way too seriously.

 

Sorry, had to vent, I now return you to your regularly scheduled thread. 

Ugh. I love Christmas as much as anybody, but Hallmark is over the top.  I heard the other day that they will be starting their countdown to Christmas on October 30 this year.  I think that's when they start showing all those Christmas movies instead of I Love Lucy, Golden Girls, and their evening programs.  October 30!  So now we aren't even letting Halloween get over before we start Christmas?  And why on earth do they have to interrupt Golden Girls when they have 4 hours of that god-awful Home and Family on right after?  Just show Golden Girls and show one of those Christmas movies over god-awful Home and Family.

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On 7/19/2017 at 7:52 PM, BlancheDevoreaux said:

Ugh. I love Christmas as much as anybody, but Hallmark is over the top.  I heard the other day that they will be starting their countdown to Christmas on October 30 this year.  I think that's when they start showing all those Christmas movies instead of I Love Lucy, Golden Girls, and their evening programs.  October 30!  So now we aren't even letting Halloween get over before we start Christmas?  And why on earth do they have to interrupt Golden Girls when they have 4 hours of that god-awful Home and Family on right after?  Just show Golden Girls and show one of those Christmas movies over god-awful Home and Family.

Home & Family sucks!

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35 minutes ago, mmecorday said:

I remember when Lifetime showed "Golden Girls" and "Designing Women" back to back. Good times, y'all. Good times.

Yes, and only interrupted every five minutes for the promotion of Lifetime's latest "Men are dangerous, rabid scum who must be avoided/put down at all costs lest they murder you in your sleep" movie of the day.

"Lifetime.  Television for Women (Who Hate Men)."

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You're remembering a very different Lifetime than I do.... Most of their movies are trash, but mostly because of bad actors/writing and not anything related to their portrayal of men.

But, yeah, I remember the Lifetime reruns fondly now, considering how these two TV shows are slaughtered by edits on LOGO, TV Land, and Hallmark now. And they were followed by Intimate Portrait, from what I remember, another show I enjoyed. I can't say I've viewed Lifetime since? Or maybe once every two years for something completely random.

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I was watching the one about Dorothy falling for a priest and one of Sophia's funniest lines was completely taken out. She's preparing for a bingo game and can't find her lucky handkerchief. She eventually finds it in her bra. Rose asks, 'What was it doing in your bra?" Sophia replies "I was blowing my breasts, Rose." But not in today's airing. Nope, gone. Instead we get Rose's reaction to a line that wasn't even there.

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On 8/4/2017 at 9:17 AM, mmecorday said:

I was watching the one about Dorothy falling for a priest and one of Sophia's funniest lines was completely taken out. She's preparing for a bingo game and can't find her lucky handkerchief. She eventually finds it in her bra. Rose asks, 'What was it doing in your bra?" Sophia replies "I was blowing my breasts, Rose." But not in today's airing. Nope, gone. Instead we get Rose's reaction to a line that wasn't even there.

The line where Rose says "He's a priest, isn't he?" never fails to be funny.  "I look like the mother of a Solid Gold dancer!"  Good gosh Bea Arthur could deliver a line!

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I'm just watching the scene where the girls join a health club. They cut the scene where the gym employee talked Blanche and Dorothy into buying flashy and tacky workout outfits. With the cut, it just doesn't make sense when they show up in the aerobics class and Rose snarks "Nice outfits, girls."

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3 hours ago, Snow Apple said:

I'm just watching the scene where the girls join a health club. They cut the scene where the gym employee talked Blanche and Dorothy into buying flashy and tacky workout outfits. With the cut, it just doesn't make sense when they show up in the aerobics class and Rose snarks "Nice outfits, girls."

Whoa ... I've never seen them being talked into buying those outfits and have always wondered how that happened.  

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Wasn't part of the joke that Rose wasn't sold on those outfits by the instructor, and Dorothy and Blanche thought she wouldn't look good once the class started or something?

Yeah, some of these edits really bring down some of the scenes.

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