Faux Life: Things That Happen On TV But Not In Reality

[Jacqs]

This kid looks slightly mature to be falling into a backyard pond... and as for how they switch her out for a very unconvincing dummy...

[janie jones]

15 hours ago, selkie said:

On a related note- jokes about people over 40 not really understanding The Internets (I'm looking at you, Lena Dunham) even though we were the ones out there using a VAX  terminal or some clunky unix thing to check out e-mail before the WWW part of the internet existed, and then when Tim Berners-Lee cam along were handcrafting the first web pages by memorizing a bunch fo HTML tags. 

Not to mention, someone Lena Dunham's age would have as a child encountered adults who used the internet (if not her parents, then teachers at school), and they would surely be 50 or older today.  I'm a few years older than her, and we had teachers showing us how to use the internet.  So it wouldn't even make sense for anyone under 40 to think that people 40-60ish would be befuddled by computers/the internet, because they would have spent their lives seeing people of that age cohort using them.

[Mittengirl]

The first person I knew to get a home computer was my uncle and he didn’t use one at work, he just thought they looked fun/interesting.  He is now 85 and still very much up on the latest tech.

In general, it seems like tv writers have never met anyone over 45.  They like to have “kids” in their 30’s treating their 60something parents like dottering idiots.

Edited February 27, 2019 by Mittengirl

[Anela]

I'm not sure if this happens in real life, since I have no personal experience:

Woman either accidentally kills someone, or finds someone they loved, dead. They end up covered in blood, and evil villain boyfriend washes them off, as they sit in a bath, dazed. 

[MadyGirl1987]

Only on TV is a girls first period a dramatic thing the whole family knows about and makes a big deal about.

[ganesh]

11 minutes ago, MadyGirl1987 said:

Only on TV is a girls first period a dramatic thing the whole family knows about and makes a big deal about.

Yeah I got threatened with death at 10 y/o if I made fun of my cousin when she got her first. Wow you do not want to know that at 10.

Also it became my superpower (being able to tell when someone has theirs) which saved me from near death so many times. 

Edited February 28, 2019 by ganesh

[biakbiak]

20 minutes ago, MadyGirl1987 said:

Only on TV is a girls first period a dramatic thing the whole family knows about and makes a big deal about.

Or you my aunt’s daughters who had first period parties in the 80s which are also apparently becoming a bigger thing.

[Brattinella]

My family was ecstatic when I had my first period; we celebrated!  Parents, grandparents, all!

[andromeda331]

Really? People celebrated that in real life? My mom just told me what it was and that it sucks. I've always appreciated her honesty. 

[biakbiak]

18 minutes ago, andromeda331 said:

Really? People celebrated that in real life? My mom just told me what it was and that it sucks. I've always appreciated her honesty. 

Yep. And as I mentioned it’s becoming more of a thing.

[andromeda331]

6 minutes ago, biakbiak said:

Yep. And as I mentioned it’s becoming more of a thing.

Oh, my God. 

[shapeshifter]

1 hour ago, andromeda331 said:

1 hour ago, biakbiak said:

Yep. And as I mentioned it’s becoming more of a thing.

Oh, my God

Seriously: OMG
I can't help assuming that these parties are put on by women who have never had cramps as severe as the transition phase of childbirth or who lose a quart of blood instead of "a couple of teaspoons"—and worse yet, who say such a degree of pain is "psychological" like my mom was told by her male boss in the 70s.
But then, my youngest daughter—who was the only one with periods as painful and heavy as mine—went through about a year and a half of trying 5 different kinds and doses of birth control pills until she found something that made her periods milder but didn't also make her severly depressed.
So, maybe they're now routinely and expertly dealing with horrible periods, and hopefully these parties are to celebrate that?

Edited February 28, 2019 by shapeshifter

[Jacqs]

it feels like the anti-vaxx thing in a way - because modern hormone pills can reduce the severity of or eliminate periods, not many modern women have memories of what the Romanov grand duchesses called a Visit from Madame Becker.

[biakbiak]

7 minutes ago, Jacqs said:

it feels like the anti-vaxx thing in a way - because modern hormone pills can reduce the severity of or eliminate periods, not many modern women have memories of what the Romanov grand duchesses called a Visit from Madame Becker.

That is most definitely not the case for a lot of women particularly when you look globally.

Edited February 28, 2019 by biakbiak

[Shannon L.]

All pregnant women complain and cry about how fat they are and end up wearing sloppy sweat pants all the time because "that's all that will fit".  They can never see their feet let alone tie their shoes.  They are alternately bitchy and weepy and pig out on a daily basis because of cravings.  They'll have the worst of all possible pregnancy symptoms the entire 9 months.

[Raja]

The officers and crew of cruise ships are mostly American 

[Dr.OO7]

Speaking of periods. . .

They're always a miserable, PMSesque experience. It never just happens and the woman simply gets on with her life. No, she's always a weepy, angry mess. 

And by the way, PMS is usually a few days BEFORE the actual period, not during.

I hate when couples literally rip each other clothes off in the throes of passion. That couldn't possibly have been his/her favorite shirt, been incredibly expensive, etc.

It's one of my romance novels that actually addressed this realistically--the hero and heroine are getting dressed after their tryst and she's very upset to see that her dress has been torn so badly that she can't fix or hide it.

Edited March 3, 2019 by Camille

[ratgirlagogo]

On 2/28/2019 at 3:40 AM, Jacqs said:

it feels like the anti-vaxx thing in a way - because modern hormone pills can reduce the severity of or eliminate periods, not many modern women have memories of what the Romanov grand duchesses called a Visit from Madame Becker.

Perhaps you didn't quite mean that the way it came out - but when I was menstruating I had an irregular cycle and some very severe cramping, the kind that required taking time off from work for at least one day of my period.  While I tried a LOT of things until I found  workable solutions one thing I  never  considered was hormone therapy, any more than I  considered it when I went through menopause.  Breast and uterine cancer run strongly in my family and I wouldn't use any therapy that would increase my risk.  For other women the risk may not be the same and it's fine for them.  But it doesn't make me equivalent to an "anti-vaxxer" to have refused it for myself.

ETA: syntax.

Edited March 3, 2019 by ratgirlagogo

[Dr.OO7]

9 minutes ago, ratgirlagogo said:

but when I was menstruating I had an irregular cycle and some very severe cramping, the kind that required taking time off from work for at least one day of my period

I've had some brutal cramps myself. But when it comes to PMS, bizarrely enough, TV never seems to address that, even though it's highly likely that the very reason the woman is so miserable is because she's in pain.

[Mabinogia]

9 minutes ago, Camille said:

But when it comes to PMS, bizarrely enough, TV never seems to address that, even though it's highly likely that the very reason the woman is so miserable is because she's in pain.

That's why I'm bitchy when I have PMS, because it hurts just to stand up so all of my energy and strength is put towards dealing with just functioning so I have very little tolerance for pretty much anything else. I'm usually very happy when I get it on a weekend where I can just hid in my flat in my oversized sweats curled in a fetal position until it passes. Ah, the joys of being a woman. lol

[Dr.OO7]

1 hour ago, Mabinogia said:

That's why I'm bitchy when I have PMS, because it hurts just to stand up so all of my energy and strength is put towards dealing with just functioning so I have very little tolerance for pretty much anything else. I'm usually very happy when I get it on a weekend where I can just hid in my flat in my oversized sweats curled in a fetal position until it passes. Ah, the joys of being a woman. lol

Heh. Same here. 

And then menopause comes and despite having bitched and moaned about this for 30 years, suddenly women are sad about it ending. 

Perhaps I shouldn't have posted this here because that actually DOES seem to happen in real life.

[Mabinogia]

Just now, Camille said:

And then menopause comes and despite having benched and moaned about this for 30 years, suddenly women are sad about it ending. 

Haha, I watched an ep of Mom where Bonnie starts menopause and she's devastated and just horrified. And I'm like, why, I can't forking wait! No more period, no more birth control. I have an irregular period, so for me it's no more wondering if I'll get it during vacation, no more worrying on a long shopping trip that it might just show up. The worst was she said something about no longer being "vital" and I was all WTF? You're just not fertile, that doesn't mean you're not vital or a woman. It just means your baby maker is shutting down because you're too forking old to raise a child. 

I hate the myth that it means I woman should be put in a boat and set out to sea or something. 

[selkie]

3 hours ago, Camille said:

I've had some brutal cramps myself. But when it comes to PMS, bizarrely enough, TV never seems to address that, even though it's highly likely that the very reason the woman is so miserable is because she's in pain.

There was Delenn asking Ivanova about cramps in 'Babylon 5', which as was typical for the series seemed to be a throwaway line at first but ended up signaling things about key story arcs and events in the show further down the line. (Her biology had become human enough that she could have a kid with a human man) 

Same showrunner also had Sense8 many years later, and there's an episode where Lito is feeling both Sun's mood swings and abdominal pain as the cluster comes together. 

Edited March 4, 2019 by selkie

[andromeda331]

1 hour ago, Mabinogia said:

Haha, I watched an ep of Mom where Bonnie starts menopause and she's devastated and just horrified. And I'm like, why, I can't forking wait! No more period, no more birth control. I have an irregular period, so for me it's no more wondering if I'll get it during vacation, no more worrying on a long shopping trip that it might just show up. The worst was she said something about no longer being "vital" and I was all WTF? You're just not fertile, that doesn't mean you're not vital or a woman. It just means your baby maker is shutting down because you're too forking old to raise a child. 

I hate the myth that it means I woman should be put in a boat and set out to sea or something. 

I can't wait either. No more periods no more birth control. I've always been irregular too and its a pain. My mom was thrilled when it finally happened. I don't really understand the women who are devastated either. All it means is no more having to deal with periods and birth control. Its great. I also don't really understand being sad about not being able to have a baby. Its never women who said anything about wanting to have more kids or have said they didn't want anymore kids. So what's the problem?

[Anela]

3 hours ago, Camille said:

Speaking of periods. . .

They're always a miserable, PMSesque experience. It never just happens and the woman simply gets on with her life. No, she's always a weepy, angry mess. 

And by the way, PMS is usually a few days BEFORE the actual period, not during.

I always realized I had PMS when it felt like the world had ended, for no reason, and then I'd have one really bright energetic day, before the exhaustion and excruciating pain hit. Although when I was younger, I was in pain the week before, as well. Ugh. 

On 2/28/2019 at 7:11 PM, Shannon L. said:

All pregnant women complain and cry about how fat they are and end up wearing sloppy sweat pants all the time because "that's all that will fit".  They can never see their feet let alone tie their shoes.  They are alternately bitchy and weepy and pig out on a daily basis because of cravings.  They'll have the worst of all possible pregnancy symptoms the entire 9 months.

An actress posted on instagram the other day, that she'd got her eyelashes done, because she didn't want to look hideous as she was giving birth. She's really nice, and I don't want to badmouth her, it just seems like that's the last thing anyone would be thinking about, when they're having their baby. But I'm not nearly as pretty as she is, and have never had my eyelashes done.

3 hours ago, ratgirlagogo said:

Perhaps you didn't quite mean that the way it came out - but when I was menstruating I had an irregular cycle and some very severe cramping, the kind that required taking time off from work for at least one day of my period.  While I tried a LOT of things until I found  workable solutions one thing I  never  considered was hormone therapy, any more than I  considered it when I went through menopause.  Breast and uterine cancer run strongly in my family and I wouldn't use any therapy that would increase my risk.  For other women the risk may not be the same and it's fine for them.  But it doesn't make me equivalent to an "anti-vaxxer" to have refused it for myself.

ETA: syntax.

I would be in agony for days. I'd get a little bit of relief, only for it to hit again just as hard. I couldn't believe it when a high school PE teacher suggested that exercising would make me feel better. I had no energy, and I'm mean when I'm in that amount of pain (now, not then). 

1 hour ago, Camille said:

Heh. Same here. 

And then menopause comes and despite having bitched and moaned about this for 30 years, suddenly women are sad about it ending. 

Perhaps I shouldn't have posted this here because that actually DOES seem to happen in real life.

It might have hit me early, and I'm sad, but I've been depressed over the idea for years, and I'm one of those who was regularly in agony. I'm not sure if I'm dealing with acceptance or denial right now, lol. 

 Sometimes I get very little pain (in recent years), but that wasn't the case when I was younger. I didn't bother to take pain medication, because it never helped, the cramps were that bad. 

[Anela]

6 minutes ago, andromeda331 said:

I can't wait either. No more periods no more birth control. I've always been irregular too and its a pain. My mom was thrilled when it finally happened. I don't really understand the women who are devastated either. All it means is no more having to deal with periods and birth control. Its great. I also don't really understand being sad about not being able to have a baby. Its never women who said anything about wanting to have more kids or have said they didn't want anymore kids. So what's the problem?

I didn't meet anyone, and my life was really fucked up for me in ways, but I don't want to get into that. About six years ago,  I left my dad to hand out sweets to the little ones on Halloween, because I saw them trying to walk up the driveway, or being carried by parents with huge smiles on their faces, and I started to cry. I was never in a position to have them. My parents joked about having granddogs. 

Edited March 4, 2019 by Anela

[andromeda331]

5 minutes ago, Anela said:

I didn't meet anyone, and my life was really fucked up for me in ways, but I don't want to get into that. About six years ago,  I left my dad to hand out sweets to the little ones on Halloween, because I saw them trying to walk up the driveway, or being carried by parents with huge smiles on their faces, and I started to cry. I was never in a position to have them. My parents joked about having granddogs. 

I'm really sorry. That part I do understand. I've never met anyone either and all my health problems pretty much knocked out any chance to go single parent route. I love kids and always wanted to be a Mom and its hard that is never going to happen.

I'm sorry if I implied I don't understand that part. I don't understand on TV shows when it happens. Its usually women who have already raise their families and zero signs they ever want any more children or have said so and have busy and active lives. Then end up being so upset about menopause. That it means their old or that their life is over. Why? Nothing is going to change except they'll no longer have to worry about periods and having cramps and PMS and birth control. Like on Golden Girls when Blanche was horrified that she was in menopause and originally though she was pregnant. She had very happy and active life, and love life. You'd think she'd be thrilled instead she upset that she was going to lose her looks or be old or something. Home Improvement Jill has to have an emergency hysterectomy I understand being upset over the emergency part but she flips out and is angry, and thinks she's no longer desirable and hollowed out old prune or suddenly old and useless. Why? She has three sons and they already decided more then once they didn't want anymore children (to be fair she decided no both times). She was finishing up college, had a husband who loved her, and mom who dropped everything to come stay with her after the surgery. 

[Bastet]

2 hours ago, andromeda331 said:

Nothing is going to change except they'll no longer have to worry about periods and having cramps and PMS and birth control.

That's not all that changes with menopause.  I agree that it's ridiculous to only see the freak-out reactions on TV, especially the sudden "no more babies?" thing from women who've shown zero interest in having more kids, but going through menopause involves more - for some women, a lot more - than no longer having a period.

[Haleth]

Then there's the comedy stereotype of the menopausal woman having such intense hot flashes that she'll do anything to cool off.  Hilarity ensues.  While I do realize that some women get extremely uncomfortable, it's hardly worth jumping in a pond or whatever.

[Popples]

1 hour ago, Haleth said:

Then there's the comedy stereotype of the menopausal woman having such intense hot flashes that she'll do anything to cool off.  Hilarity ensues.  While I do realize that some women get extremely uncomfortable, it's hardly worth jumping in a pond or whatever.

My mother was this. I'm talking opening up the front door while snowing to cool down. She used to run cold and always had the heat cranked up to Hell and as someone the complete opposite, I would sometimes smirk when she had a flash because she finally understood.

[Shannon L.]

That's why I've always liked the episode of The Cosby Show when Claire comes home from a doctor's appointment and says, matter of factly, that she's going through menopause. When the kids freak out and start treating her with kid gloves because of everything they'd heard about what to expect, she gets back at them by highly exaggerating her symptoms, and that's where hilarity ensues, until she stops and then tells them to knock it off because she's fine. 

[shapeshifter]

3 hours ago, Shannon L. said:

That's why I've always liked the episode of The Cosby Show when Claire comes home from a doctor's appointment and says, matter of factly, that she's going through menopause. When the kids freak out and start treating her with kid gloves because of everything they'd heard about what to expect, she gets back at them by highly exaggerating her symptoms, and that's where hilarity ensues, until she stops and then tells them to knock it off because she's fine. 

If this is the episode, it's written by 2 men.
Not that there's anything wrong with that.

[Shannon L.]

2 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

If this is the episode, it's written by 2 men.
Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Yeah, that's the one.  Written by two men?  Interesting...

[shapeshifter]

Nash Bridges 6.11 "Bear Trap" just aired, in which early-twenties Cassidy deflects questions from "Uncle" Joe by telling him she needs to talk to a female cop about "girl problems," which he doesn't quite get at first, so she has to suggest mood swings etc.
I also recall teenage Liz Parker and Maria DeLuca doing the same in Roswell to deflect questions from Alex, who, again, doesn't take the hint until they start using words like "cramps." 
I imagine this has been used in other shows too, but I can't ever recall trying to avoid a conversation in real life by telling someone I need to talk about my period. 

[Mabinogia]

I am in my pre-menopause state. I never had kids. Never really interested. I'm waiting for that moment where I'm supposed to freak out because I've missed my chance or something. That almost always happens because women aren't supposed to not want children according to almost every show ever. So far, hasn't happened. I'm glad that window is finally being shut. I can see how it would be really hard on a woman who has been trying or really wanted children though, to realize that chapter is closing. 

19 hours ago, Anela said:

An actress posted on instagram the other day, that she'd got her eyelashes done, because she didn't want to look hideous as she was giving birth.

This reminds me of another thing that always happens on shows but not IRL. Women come out of the shower fully made up, out of bed fully made up, out of labor fully made up. I'm like, damn, if I had to do that I'd be exhausted just from the constantly applying makeup. Also broke from having to buy all that makeup. lol

[ganesh]

Even if you (plural) can't have kids anymore, you still can have kids with adopting. They never show that on tv. 

[Katy M]

36 minutes ago, ganesh said:

Even if you (plural) can't have kids anymore, you still can have kids with adopting. They never show that on tv. 

If you're of typical menopause age, you may find it difficult to adopt.

[auntlada]

2 hours ago, Mabinogia said:

This reminds me of another thing that always happens on shows but not IRL. Women come out of the shower fully made up, out of bed fully made up, out of labor fully made up. I'm like, damn, if I had to do that I'd be exhausted just from the constantly applying makeup. Also broke from having to buy all that makeup. lol

There was an episode of "A Different World" after Whitley and Dwayne got married that showed that every morning she woke up before him, put her makeup on, then got back in bed to wake up to the alarm so he wouldn't see what she really looked like when she woke up.

[tennisgurl]

I especially love when women have full perfect makeup in the pool or in the ocean, no running at all! It’s all waterproof makeup all the time I guess!

[shapeshifter]

6 hours ago, auntlada said:

There was an episode of "A Different World" after Whitley and Dwayne got married that showed that every morning she woke up before him, put her makeup on, then got back in bed to wake up to the alarm so he wouldn't see what she really looked like when she woke up.

Both Grace and Frankie and The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel had scenes like this, so I'm guessing it happens in real life, but I've never heard of it. Are the writers confusing what happens with makeup on the set for bedroom scenes with what happens in real life?

Edited March 5, 2019 by shapeshifter

[methodwriter85]

8 hours ago, Katy M said:

If you're of typical menopause age, you may find it difficult to adopt.

I read somewhere that the typical age cut-off is about 55 for non-relative newborns but I could be wrong.

[MaryMitch]

6 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

Both Grace and Frankie and The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel had scenes like this, so I'm guessing it happens in real life, but I've never heard of it. Are the writers confusing what happens with makeup on the set for bedroom scenes with what happens in real life?

I knew someone who did this - at least when they were first married. I remember when someone told me, we laughed and laughed about it. She was one of those women who is always perfectly put together and wore a lot of makeup; her pillowcases must have been a mess!

[Shannon L.]

9 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

Both Grace and Frankie and The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel had scenes like this, so I'm guessing it happens in real life, but I've never heard of it. Are the writers confusing what happens with makeup on the set for bedroom scenes with what happens in real life?

I think I remember hearing that up until a certain decade (probably late 60s or 70s) were taught that it was very important to look their best at all times, especially for their husbands.  Look at the tv shows from back in the 50s. June Cleaver?  Lucy?  Always dressed nicely with make up on and hair done (unless the opposite was needed for comic effect).  I wouldn't be surprised if, at one time, this was a common practice.

[shapeshifter]

2 hours ago, Shannon L. said:

11 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

Both Grace and Frankie and The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel had scenes like this, so I'm guessing it happens in real life, but I've never heard of it. Are the writers confusing what happens with makeup on the set for bedroom scenes with what happens in real life?

I think I remember hearing that up until a certain decade (probably late 60s or 70s) were taught that it was very important to look their best at all times, especially for their husbands.  Look at the tv shows from back in the 50s. June Cleaver?  Lucy?  Always dressed nicely with make up on and hair done (unless the opposite was needed for comic effect).  I wouldn't be surprised if, at one time, this was a common practice.

Yes. But did any of us post-menopause posters or our moms ever go to bed with makeup on?
Confession: I did a few times in the 70s when I'd been drinking and woke up in someone else's place--but that doesn't count, because I did NOT look good in the morning.

Edited March 5, 2019 by shapeshifter

[Shannon L.]

Preteen school yard bullying consists of a group of kids in a tight circle with the bullied kid in the middle being pushed back and forth.

[shapeshifter]

Copying this from TBBT 12.17 "The Conference Valuation" thread because I floved the way it was worded:

11 hours ago, Angeltoes said:

I can't get over how much time these adults spend with their friends. I have friends but we don't live in each other's pockets.

[Bastet]

Unlike elevators in real life, whose doors close after a set amount of time has passed, elevators on TV monitor the conversation being had between the person inside the elevator and the person outside it and stay open until the person inside finishes her/his sentence, at which point the doors immediately close. 

This is convenient, because if you want to deliver a 30-second diatribe, there is no need to hold the door open; it will wait for you.  Conversely, if you want to storm in, deliver a glorious parting shot, and leave with the last word, there's no worry your verbal sparring partner will deliver a winning comeback while you stand there pushing the button to make the door close faster -- the elevator will begin closing its doors as soon as you turn around upon entry, so that you're perfectly framed as you deliver your final line, which is effectively punctuated by the doors sealing closed.

[Mabinogia]

13 hours ago, Bastet said:

Unlike elevators in real life, whose doors close after a set amount of time has passed, elevators on TV monitor the conversation being had between the person inside the elevator and the person outside it and stay open until the person inside finishes her/his sentence, at which point the doors immediately close. 

What? You don't have voice activated elevators at your place of business? They are also motion sensitive so the second you and your SO start making out they conveniently open to a group of stuffy businessmen, or pervy teens, or your parents, whatever would ensue the most hilarity. 

[Katy M]

Watching Young Sheldon reminded me of something.

People start to learn to play an instrument.  Of course, they are terrible at the beginning.  But they think they sound wonderful.  Playing an instrument does not lessen your ability to hear. A screechy violin does not sound wonderful because you are the one playing it.  Same with flutes, or that really terrible sound tubas make when you don't play it right.  

Same with singing I Love Lucy bad and thinking it sounds good.  I'll grant that you don't hear yourself singing as well as others do, so if you're so-so, thinking you're great is a little less odd than thinking you're great when you're screeching a violin, and missing half the notes on the piano.  But, if you're full on terrible, you can hear that.

[Lugal]

14 hours ago, Bastet said:

Unlike elevators in real life, whose doors close after a set amount of time has passed, elevators on TV monitor the conversation being had between the person inside the elevator and the person outside it and stay open until the person inside finishes her/his sentence, at which point the doors immediately close.

Sometimes at least you see the person waving their hands to keep the elevator open.  And sometimes you see the person inside frantically pushing the door-close button, but it usually doesn't work until they finished their sentence, or the other person manages to slip in anyway.