Faux Life: Things That Happen On TV But Not In Reality

[shapeshifter]

2 hours ago, DeLurker said:

My closets have always been varying shades of black (I wear grey in the spring), so I'd be all set if I went to funerals (refuse on principle).  I don't own hats, so no bonus points for me.

Is it wrong for me to assume that you live in New York City?

My mother never forgave my paternal grandmother for wearing black to my parents' wedding even though my father's parents were impoverished immigrant refugees, so likely the only "good" dress my grandmother had was black.

[Joe]

1 hour ago, legaleagle53 said:

But if you're a man, you'd damn well better be wearing a tie at the funeral.  I forgot to pack a tie when I went home for my youngest brother's funeral in 2007, and you'd better believe that my mother busted my chops for it!

No, no tie. But no one had a problem with it, I wasn't even the least formal person there. But that's drifting into the real world. On TV funerals, everyone is dressed to the nines. Or comedically inappropriately.

[DeLurker]

18 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

Is it wrong for me to assume that you live in New York City?

Yep.  I lived in South Florida, Southern California and now in the Houston area.

[zxy556575]

Only on TV does every wife and girlfriend know how to face a man and knot his tie for him. Tuxedo bowties as well.

Edited November 29, 2016 by lordonia

[DearEvette]

Yeah, the bow tie thing makes me eye roll. Unless you're tying a bow tie all the time, you aren't going to have the muscle memory  to whip it out whenever you need it.  When do we see these guys wearing bow ties outside of tuxes?  Also it is hard enough tying it on yourself much less facing someone and doing it on them.  I used to know how and if you asked me now I couldn't do it.

[legaleagle53]

4 hours ago, DearEvette said:

Yeah, the bow tie thing makes me eye roll. Unless you're tying a bow tie all the time, you aren't going to have the muscle memory  to whip it out whenever you need it.  When do we see these guys wearing bow ties outside of tuxes?  Also it is hard enough tying it on yourself much less facing someone and doing it on them.  I used to know how and if you asked me now I couldn't do it.

Apparently, bow ties have made a comeback.  As for tying them?  Well, that's why God invented cheaters.  :)

[ABay]

Bow ties are cool.</Doctor Who #11>

[DeLurker]

Only on tv do people come home from work and stay in their work clothes.  Doesn't matter if you are a CEO, a lawyer, a cop or tech analyst.  The men will take off their jacket if they wear a suit.

No one takes off their shoes the minute they get in the house or walks around the house is socks.

For the record:  We always had "school" clothes versus "play" clothes so my family changed clothes as soon as we came home.  That habit stayed with me so I've always had clothes that fell in the category of work, housework, comfy, casual...and I have to take off my shoes the minute I get inside the door.

[ganesh]

Seriously though, who wears a suit a second more than they have to? Or women who have to wear high heels? No one walks around their house in heels. Or people who are preparing food in the kitchen with their work clothes on. I live alone, so basically everything comes off when I get home from work.

But I also had school clothes, and clothes for around the house. I have a nice like mudroom/laundry room area in my new house where I can take my shoes and I bought a nice stand to place all my shoes. 

[shapeshifter]

32 minutes ago, ganesh said:

 ...I also had school clothes, and clothes for around the house.... 

Me too. Everything comes off except the undies, in this order: First the shoes (so I don't track in stuff), then (in order of discomfort) the bra, followed by socks, pants, and finally: shirt or blouse if it is a turtleneck or something I can wear again without laundering if I take it off right after work. But that's just me. Some folks are comfortable in high heels and tight clothes, and some don't worry about laundry in advance of laundry day.

[Kel Varnsen]

1 hour ago, ganesh said:

Seriously though, who wears a suit a second more than they have to? Or women who have to wear high heels? No one walks around their house in heels. Or people who are preparing food in the kitchen with their work clothes on. I live alone, so basically everything comes off when I get home from work.

If you are any kind of rich/professional dude on tv you will pretty much be wearing a suit the whole damn day.

[Shannon L.]

3 hours ago, ganesh said:

Seriously though, who wears a suit a second more than they have to?

My husband.  I still, to this day, wonder how he does it.  If we're going to be going to a casual dinner or event after he's out of work, I'll ask if he's going to come home and change first and most of the time, he says no, I'll meet you there.  Sometimes, even if he does have time to come home first, he'll just take off his tie and stay in his work clothes.  He's even met me at the kids' ball games without going home to change first.  I don't get it as I will change into my sweats and t-shirts the minute I get home--even  if I know I'll have to get dressed and leave again a couple of hours later. 

[Sandman87]

My stepfather lived in his suits. His only concession to comfort when he came home was to take the jacket off and remove his tie. He did not take off his shoes. They only times he wore casual clothing were his days off. I think it was force of habit from his early life, when he spent about 15 years going directly from work to his gigs performing with various jazz bands.

[riley702]

I work 12 hour shifts in a hospital, and the shoes come off first so I don't track anything in. Then everything comes off and I hit the shower. That gives my hair time to dry before bed. I can't imagine not showering before bed. I'd feel filthy after being in a hospital all day. Then I lay out clothes for the next morning, because my brain doesn't work so well in the morning. :) I have short hair, so I don't have to shower again in the morning if I'm running late. And I usually am, because my brain doesn't work so well in the morning. I wear the same thing every work day - Scrubs; which, btw? Closest you can get to working in pajamas. But if I didn't lay out my clothes the night before, I'd be standing in front of the closet, trying to figure out what I was doing. Because... yeah, you get it.

[Anela]

I don't leave the house every day, but when I do, I've been known to be so tired when I get home, that I fall asleep in my clothes. I much prefer not to, and to shower and change instead. My sister just teased me about how I used to walk into my room, and basically fall on the bed. She'd see my feet sticking out, like the wicked witch, when she was crushed by a house. 

[Bastet]

I work out of my home office a lot, but as someone who gets into "loungewear" within minutes of walking through the door when I've been in court/at the office - take shoes off just inside the door, carry them to the bedroom to put them away, talk to the cat, toss clothing in laundry/dry-cleaning hampers, take off bra, put on comfy clothes, put briefcase in office closet, make a drink, and commence relaxation - I, too, take notice of all the TV characters who stay in their work clothes to eat dinner, converse on the couch, etc.  Comfort aside, I don't want to get fur on my work clothes, risk spilling dinner on them as I cook and eat, etc.   

I also take note of how many characters wear shoes in the house.  I know plenty of people do that in real life - both my parents do, for example - but it seems more prevalent on TV.  Possibly because the soundstage floors are pretty gross.  But it's really noticeable to me when characters put their feet up on the couch, bed, etc. while wearing shoes.  That I pretty much never see in real life.

[Shannon L.]

9 hours ago, Bastet said:

Possibly because the soundstage floors are pretty gross.

I have seen split seconds of the bottom actors' feet who are barefoot in a scene and they are usually filthy, so I imagine that's why they wear shoes so often.

The only scene that really made me laugh in the first episode of The Goldbergs was when the father came home from work and stripped down to his boxers and t-shirt right inside the front door.  It was an exaggeration, (I think) but I understood it because it's pretty much what I do, except I head to the bedroom first  :)

[kittykat]

On 12/2/2016 at 10:03 AM, Kel Varnsen said:

If you are any kind of rich/professional dude on tv you will pretty much be wearing a suit the whole damn day.

To quote the incomparable Jack Donaghy, "it's after six pm, what am I a farmer?"

[shapeshifter]

Only On TV (and, according to another poster, in New Jersey) does a speeding cop car with lights flashing and siren blaring have to swerve around vehicles until said cop car gets t-boned in an intersection because absolutely no drivers pull over when they hear the siren or see the lights. 

[Popples]

I just watched an episode of Psych where Gus took down an already open box of cereal from off the top of the refrigerator, poured himself a bowl, then put it back still open. Dude, that stuff is stale.

[Rosiejuliemom]

On 12/2/2016 at 10:13 AM, DeLurker said:

No one takes off their shoes the minute they get in the house or walks around the house is socks.

I'll admit, I put shoes on when I get dressed in the morning and keep them on until 8 or 9-ish at night. In my defense, I started doing it after I was cleaning barefoot and ran into my daughter's shoe box. End result was a broken metatarsal and two broken toes. Not doing that again, especially the hell that is trying to sleep with something on my foot. Can't do it.

[MaryPatShelby]

11 hours ago, Rosiejuliemom said:

I'll admit, I put shoes on when I get dressed in the morning and keep them on until 8 or 9-ish at night. In my defense, I started doing it after I was cleaning barefoot and ran into my daughter's shoe box. End result was a broken metatarsal and two broken toes. Not doing that again, especially the hell that is trying to sleep with something on my foot. Can't do it.

I am dealing with a foot thing (sesamoiditis) and part of the treatment is wearing shoes all the time.  I have never worn shoes in the house, and it's killing me.  I constantly feel like I should be going somewhere because my shoes are on!

[Shannon L.]

My mom has to wear shoes all the time. I forget what brand she buys, but they are very good (and expensive!) and she needs to wear them because of her back and one knee.  Going barefoot is painful.

The way home cooks are portrayed on TV is interesting to me.  Bad cooks (usually men) make a complete mess in the kitchen, yet good cooks (usually women) have all of their produce/food/spices, etc...out on plates and in bowls before they start cooking.  In this house, it's the opposite---my husband makes a huge mess, but is a really good cook, but I clean as I go (sometimes having everything out and  organized, although, rarely in bowls), and am just an ok cook. 

[ChromaKelly]

On 12/3/2016 at 9:33 AM, Shannon L. said:

I have seen split seconds of the bottom actors' feet who are barefoot in a scene and they are usually filthy, so I imagine that's why they wear shoes so often.

The only scene that really made me laugh in the first episode of The Goldbergs was when the father came home from work and stripped down to his boxers and t-shirt right inside the front door.  It was an exaggeration, (I think) but I understood it because it's pretty much what I do, except I head to the bedroom first  :)

My BFF's husband is a narcotics officer, and some days he strips everything off right when he comes home, especially if they just had a raid. Some of the houses that get raided are pretty gross. When they built their house, they had a combo mudroom/laundry room put in right off the garage so he could throw everything right in the washing machine.
But if they were on TV, he'd come home, late of course, as she sat in front of a dinner growing cold and candles burning down. He would say "Sorry I'm late" and she would say "Dinner is cold. Where were you? Work again?" and then storm off. He would then pour himself a whisky, because all cops drink and they all drink straight whisky or scotch.

[MaryPatShelby]

Because only on TV are candles lit for a routine weeknight (or work night) dinner.

[Bastet]

4 hours ago, ChromaKelly said:

When they built their house, they had a combo mudroom/laundry room put in right off the garage so he could throw everything right in the washing machine.

My detached garage is set back from the house, so I walk across a short stretch of driveway and enter through the back door, into the service porch (that then goes into the kitchen).  My late cat Maddie, so incredibly easy-going in every other regard, would pitch a fit if I came home smelling like dog (other cats were fine, but no dogs!), so whenever I came home from my best friend's house - where one of her dogs spent my entire visit basically attached to me - I stripped down in the service porch rather than going to my bedroom.

[ganesh]

That sounds nearly exactly like my house. That's where I have the laundry too, and store my boots and jackets.

[ganesh]

Only on tv does the victim never keep the villain on the phone long enough to make the trace. 

[Kel Varnsen]

2 hours ago, ganesh said:

Only on tv does the victim never keep the villain on the phone long enough to make the trace. 

Well thst is just because even though i have had call display for what must be close to 20 years now, it still takes cops like 10 minutes to trace a phone call.

[Haleth]

All tv villains know how to reroute their calls so they are bouncing all over the world.  (However that works, I'm not a villain so I don't know.)  And he always hangs up just as the police/FBI are about to make the final location jump.

[ganesh]

Only on tv do two people stare into the same mirror to have Meaningful Conversation. Also, said scene will be in the trailer for the show. 

[Sandman87]

Are you angry? Male? In the bathroom? You must punch the mirror hard enough to break it.

[legaleagle53]

4 minutes ago, Sandman87 said:

Are you angry? Male? In the bathroom? You must punch the mirror hard enough to break it.

Yet not hard enough to break your hand or cut yourself on the glass.

Edited December 25, 2016 by legaleagle53

[shapeshifter]

5 hours ago, legaleagle53 said:

Yet not hard enough to break your hand or cut yourself on the glass.

Frequently, there must be blood, and a tell-tale bandage, but never any trips to the doctor to have stitches removed, or to a physical therapist to recover from severed tendons etc,

[kiddo82]

Only on TV do people not make ugly faces when they exercise, unless it's for over the top comedic effect.  I love watching people on TV jog.  They look more relaxed than even professional runners do.  And their bodies are only gently misted in sweat if they sweat at all.

[Haleth]

9 hours ago, Sandman87 said:

Are you angry? Male? In the bathroom? You must punch the mirror hard enough to break it.

And if you are female you will throw something at the mirror, then gaze at the multiple images of yourself in the shards.

[Anela]

I love this thread. I know I've said that before, but it always amuses me. :)

[backformore]

I thought of this thread when watching the Lifetime channel today.  (nothing else was on, the tv remote was all the way across the room) The movie was called the Wrong House.   Family moves into a suburban house, from a NYC apartment.   Kid says "Mom you promised when we bought a house I could have a lemonade stand."  Mom says "Not today, honey, we haven't even unpacked."   "But MOM!  school starts tomorrow, this is my only chance!"    So, not only can mom locate lemons, a big container, cups, etc, BUT - she also magically is able to BUILD a lemonade stand (not just a card table, a hammered together wooden slats and painted yellow STAND with a sign) the same damn day! 

Only on TV!   there's no real-life mom that could, or would do that.  Especially  days after moving in.

[Moose135]

49 minutes ago, backformore said:

nothing else was on, the tv remote was all the way across the room

Don't you hate that?  Times like that, I wish I could use The Force to make it come to me.

[ganesh]

Quote

Are you angry? Male? In the bathroom? You must punch the mirror hard enough to break it.

I'm watching The Man in the High Castle and one of the main characters just did this. 

Quote

there's no real-life mom that could, or would do that.  Especially  days after moving in.

The key word is "would". Because any mom would say, "unpack your stuff and put everything away neatly and maybe I won't kill you for bitching about lemonade."

[Kel Varnsen]

2 hours ago, Moose135 said:

Don't you hate that?  Times like that, I wish I could use The Force to make it come to me.

Speaking of which, if you were a character on TV and had a super power like The Force you would only ever use it for extreme good or extreme evil. You would never actually just use it to do stuff like grab the remote that was on the other side of the room.

[CoderLady]

3 hours ago, Kel Varnsen said:

Speaking of which, if you were a character on TV and had a super power like The Force you would only ever use it for extreme good or extreme evil. You would never actually just use it to do stuff like grab the remote that was on the other side of the room.

You know, I'd watch a show like that. What would an ordinary person with extraordinary powers do, if they managed to avoid getting sucked into the epic Good vs. Evil battle? If power really didn't corrupt them, and no over-the-top super villain followed them around trying to provoke a fight? No shiny masked costume or secret identity? Just someone livin' the life, minding their own business. It might be too boring to get sustainable ratings, but it sounds interesting to me.

[ganesh]

Star Wars Rebels actually has done a good job

43 minutes ago, CoderLady said:

You know, I'd watch a show like that. What would an ordinary person with extraordinary powers do, if they managed to avoid getting sucked into the epic Good vs. Evil battle? If power really didn't corrupt them, and no over-the-top super villain followed them around trying to provoke a fight? No shiny masked costume or secret identity? Just someone livin' the life, minding their own business. It might be too boring to get sustainable ratings, but it sounds interesting to me.

That's kind of The Greatest American Hero tv show in the 80s. I mean, Connie Sellecca. I was like 10, and va va voom.

[Danny Franks]

I think that about 98% of what happens on the patently absurd Scorpion would belong in this thread, but sometimes just the dialogue is enough to make me completely lose my shit.

Take the last episode as an example. Cabe has been wounded and is bleeding out. They can't stop the bleeding and help is too far away to arrive on time. Cue the 'super geniuses' doing their thing. They decide the need to stop the heart beating, to stop losing blood. But because that would kill Cabe's brain, Walter suggests:

"What if we bring his body temperature down so low that it slows his metabolism down so he's not using any oxygen?"

Second super genius: "Suspended animation!?"

Third super genius: "It's a long shot."

Ahahahaha! A long shot? For crying out loud!

Edited January 4, 2017 by Danny Franks

[topanga]

This happens in TV, movies, and books: 

You're the new girl (or boy) at your school, and you might have been lonely or ostracized at your old school. But all of a sudden, you're popular, you're hot, and you have at least one--if not two--suitors drooling over you. 

[Jack Shaftoe]

Quote

You're the new girl (or boy) at your school, and you might have been lonely or ostracized at your old school. But all of a sudden, you're popular, you're hot, and you have at least one--if not two--suitors drooling over you. 

Speaking of suitors, if there is more than one of them, one will be absolutely perfect for you - matching interests, pleasant personality, etc. But you will inevitably end up picking the other one - the one who loves insulting you, making fun of you and telling everybody what a loser you are. Because there is no better indicator of true love than endless bickering.

[Quof]

But that does happen in real life. Been there, done that.

[Moose135]

3 hours ago, topanga said:

You're the new girl (or boy) at your school, and you might have been lonely or ostracized at your old school. But all of a sudden, you're popular, you're hot, and you have at least one--if not two--suitors drooling over you.

Usually after taking off her glasses and shaking out her hair in slow motion.

[NutMeg]

16 hours ago, topanga said:

This happens in TV, movies, and books: 

You're the new girl (or boy) at your school, and you might have been lonely or ostracized at your old school. But all of a sudden, you're popular, you're hot, and you have at least one--if not two--suitors drooling over you. 

That's true-ish in real life. Kids get bored with seeing the same people year after year after year. Any novelty is exciting. I've seen it in my days and I still see in now with my son in high school. Doesn't mean it necessarily lasts, but yeah, I'd say new students are more attractive, at least for a while, mostly because of that novelty factor. It's multiplied when the new student comes from a place with a cool aura (for instance New York, Mumbai and Bollywood stars, any Scandinavian country, London... these are just the one I heard of first hand!) 

[Anela]

4 hours ago, NutMeg said:

That's true-ish in real life. Kids get bored with seeing the same people year after year after year. Any novelty is exciting. I've seen it in my days and I still see in now with my son in high school. Doesn't mean it necessarily lasts, but yeah, I'd say new students are more attractive, at least for a while, mostly because of that novelty factor. It's multiplied when the new student comes from a place with a cool aura (for instance New York, Mumbai and Bollywood stars, any Scandinavian country, London... these are just the one I heard of first hand!) 

I've seen the good-looking kid fit in right away - and know someone who was like that, and moved a lot (gorgeous, and always popular), and I was the kid with glasses, who had less luck every time we moved. I didn't know to take my glasses off, and shake my hair. 

When we moved here from England,  my parents told me that being English/foreign would be good for me at school. At that point, I didn't believe them, and ended up being homeschooled. I guess I should have listened to them.