Faux Life: Things That Happen On TV But Not In Reality

[andromeda331]

7 hours ago, DrSpaceman73 said:

Having seen the results of my 95 real old grandmother dying and the 5 kids, including my dad, fighting over the will with lots of land and money involved, nothing they show on TV is too out of whack with that really happens.  Even with kids who have no major issues with one another, just those who have drifted apart over the years. 

OK so no one ever had to stay in the house for a night to inherit it.  Everything else though is fair game.Two of them almost got into a fistfight over my grandpa's old tractor. 

Nothing surprises me how terrible people can be when it comes that. My parents each had an aunt who was as selfish bitch who thought she would get everything and were shocked when the rest of the family didn't let that happen. They also were the types to conveniently always help themselves to stuff when they stayed or visited their parents and borrowing money that they never returned. One of them decided to go the distance in being a bitch and pissed because twice when she searched her mother's and sister's rooms for stuff only to find out they'd had already given the items they wanted to other relatives before they died and knew she'd search their rooms decided to find her father's will while he was in the hospital and not dying read it, got pissed that she wasn't being left with everything took the items the car he planned to leave her along with other things she wanted chewed him and took off and cut off all ties with him for ten years as did all her side of the family except one son. Towards the end they talked on the phone. She never apologized for anything of course.

Edited May 25, 2020 by andromeda331

[Hiyo]

Quote

Were you the kind of brittle female anthrophobe

Well, if you're a librarian, you either fit that mold or are someone really cute underneath and just need someone to give you a makeover to show the world all of the cuteness being hidden underneath.

Naturally, said makeover involved untying your hair and taking of your glasses, and WHAM! you are now supermodel ready.

 

[Moose135]

2 hours ago, Hiyo said:

Naturally, said makeover involved untying your hair and taking of your glasses, and WHAM! you are now supermodel ready.

Remember to do it in slow motion. 

[Bookworm 1979]

Coming out of lurkdom to ask why is it that on TV, everyone who works in a library is a librarian? I have a library technician diploma and I worked in a library for six years. I can do everything a librarian can do, but I don't have a masters degree.  Some of the ladies I worked with had no college education at all in regards to libraries, but they had been at the library for years and years, and they knew their stuff! Also, our pages (the people who shelve the books) were high school kids.  Our boss was a librarian, but she was the only one there who was.

And yes, why is it that librarians on TV are always shushing everyone? Some days we (the library staff) were the loudest ones there!

[auntlada]

I think the answer to your question is that, in general, people regard anyone who works at a library, particularly a public library, as a librarian, regardless of title or duties. To most people (and I speak as someone who has been going to libraries since before I could read and as someone whose mother was a school librarian with a master's in library science), librarian is a general term not an official title.

Also, I've been in libraries where I wished the librarians would do more shushing, so you're right there.

Edited May 25, 2020 by auntlada

[DoctorAtomic]

I assumed that Librarians were out hunting magical artifacts in between shushing. 

[ABay]

Yes, I'm not sure which show had the more accurate portrayal of my job: The Librarians or Buffy.

[Zella]

1 hour ago, auntlada said:

I think the answer to your question is that, in general, people regard anyone who works at a library, particularly a public library, as a librarian, regardless of title or duties. To most people (and I speak as someone who has been going to libraries since before I could read and as someone whose mother was a school librarian with a master's in library science), librarian is a general term not an official title.

Also, I've been in libraries where I wished the librarians would do more shushing, so you're right there.

Agreed! I've worked at a library part-time for 12 years. I've never been a librarian and purposefully do not refer to myself as such, even though I do work that should be done by a librarian, but it doesn't stop everyone else from calling me one. 

[GaT]

1 hour ago, Zella said:

Agreed! I've worked at a library part-time for 12 years. I've never been a librarian and purposefully do not refer to myself as such, even though I do work that should be done by a librarian, but it doesn't stop everyone else from calling me one. 

That's because it's easier to say "ask the librarian" than "ask the person who isn't a librarian but performs some of the same duties as one"

[Zella]

30 minutes ago, GaT said:

That's because it's easier to say "ask the librarian" than "ask the person who isn't a librarian but performs some of the same duties as one"

It goes beyond that, though. They really don't get the difference or realize there is one. I know because I've pointed it out, and it stymies them. 

Edited May 25, 2020 by Zella

[Haleth]

On 5/24/2020 at 8:00 PM, ABay said:

That's how Rose and Bernard met on Lost! Without the kitty litter, though.

I didn't remove the jumper cables, shovel, and blanket from my trunk until several years of moving here.

And look at how well things turned out for them!

[Ohiopirate02]

1 hour ago, Haleth said:

And look at how well things turned out for them!

I loved the resolution to the Rose and Bernard story.  They retire to a tropical island that happened to conveniently cure Rose's cancer.  Yeah, they never got to see their children and grandchildren again, but there are worse ways to go.  

[DoctorAtomic]

Plus the dog lived with them. 

[shapeshifter]

1 hour ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

On 5/24/2020 at 9:26 AM, shapeshifter said:

In the 1970s while house-sitting my parents' Chicago suburban home, I got the car stuck in a snow drift. A boy (now man) who I'd had a crush on in the fifth grade when he brought his guitar to class and sang a folk song, stopped his car, took a shovel and kitty litter out of his trunk, dug me out, and drove away. Since it was not a Lifetime TV event, I never spoke to him then or ever.

I loved the resolution to the Rose and Bernard story.  They retire to a tropical island that happened to conveniently cure Rose's cancer.  Yeah, they never got to see their children and grandchildren again, but there are worse ways to go.  

22 minutes ago, DoctorAtomic said:

Plus the dog lived with them. 

So maybe this winter the same guy will shovel me out again (we would be 67) and somehow we get magically transported to Hawaii with a puppy. Maybe Hawaii is the new North Pole and we become Mr. and Mrs. Santa Claus. And of course we have none of the physical ailments that come with age, unless it's just one that serves as a plot point, e.g., "It's going to snow! I can feel it in my bones!" 

 

[DoctorAtomic]

I don't know if the reindeer can live in the tropics. You'll have to ride dolphins. 

[Katy M]

1 minute ago, DoctorAtomic said:

I don't know if the reindeer can live in the tropics. You'll have to ride dolphins. 

I think magic flying reindeer can live wherever they want.

[Blergh]

1 hour ago, Katy M said:

I think magic flying reindeer can live wherever they want.

Just not above open-air cafe's !  

[shapeshifter]

1 hour ago, Katy M said:

2 hours ago, DoctorAtomic said:

I don't know if the reindeer can live in the tropics. You'll have to ride dolphins. 

I think magic flying reindeer can live wherever they want.

Okay, I think Mr. Santa and Mrs. Santa just jumped the shark in our Hallmark Christmas Special.

Edited May 26, 2020 by shapeshifter

[kiddo82]

Everyone works at an art gallery.  If not the protagonist herself (cause it's always a woman) , it's the mom, or wife, or bestie.  I don't know anyone who works at a gallery.  I don't think I know anyone who knows anyone who works at an art gallery.  Outside of the MET and the MOMA, I don't even know of any art galleries remotely near me.  Certainly not local, small townie ones.

Edited May 30, 2020 by kiddo82

[DoctorAtomic]

What does one do who works there? Clean the art? 

[Katy M]

59 minutes ago, kiddo82 said:

Everyone works at an art gallery.  If not the protagonist herself (cause it's always a woman) , it's the mom, or wife, or bestie.  I don't know anyone who works at a gallery.  I don't think I know anyone who knows anyone who works at an art gallery.  Outside of the MET and the MOMA, I don't even know of any art galleries remotely near me.  Certainly not local, small townie ones.

I don't know anybody who works there, and I've never gone in, but there is a little art gallery on Main Street in my small town.

[shapeshifter]

1 hour ago, Katy M said:

I don't know anybody who works there, and I've never gone in, but there is a little art gallery on Main Street in my small town.

If it's a small gallery in a small town, they might also do custom framing in the back to pay the overhead. Or, I have a childhood friend who part time teaches art at the university and has a small gallery for the works of other locals and her own (in a small town in Idaho). 

In larger galleries the person you see is sort of a combination sales person/docent/bouncer, who might also be an unknown artist or an art history major.

And now back to our regularly scheduled fictional art galleries...
where the person working in the gallery is the descendant of the love child of Vincent Van Gogh, and, as if that weren't enough, finds an unknown Van Gogh in the closet of her rented attic room (with a north facing window for perfect light for her self-taught drawing). The unknown Van Gogh is of a child who "bears an uncanny resemblance" to a picture of herself as a toddler.
Our heroine does a sketch from the Unknown Van Gogh and pins it up on the wall of her tiny attic room. 
Her miserly landlord sees it, theft and attempted murder ensue, a handsome stranger comes to the rescue, fortunes change hands, and snow falls, sleigh bells ring, fade as they kiss.
 

Edited May 30, 2020 by shapeshifter

[janie jones]

1 hour ago, Katy M said:

I don't know anybody who works there, and I've never gone in, but there is a little art gallery on Main Street in my small town.

Oh how quaint.  I bet if I ever visit your town, I'll meet the guy who works there and leave my husband for him after he shows me the true meaning of Christmas.

[DoctorAtomic]

4 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

Or, I have a childhood friend who part time teaches art at the university and has a small gallery for the works of other locals and her own (in a small town in Idaho). 

Where? Are we neighbors?

[Shannon L.]

All women and POC are in luck!  If anyone ever does invent time travel, then you can go back to any decade and dress any way you want or do anything you want and  you'll only get a side eye from people.  At worst, one bully in the bunch will say something derogatory or borderline hostile, but all you have to do is show your strength, either by a verbal threat or grabbing their collar and pushing them and they'll leave you alone.

[DoctorAtomic]

Don't go traveling with the Doctor then!

[Raja]

2 hours ago, DoctorAtomic said:

Don't go traveling with the Doctor then!

How often does the Doctor get to America's past?

[DoctorAtomic]

They did fairly recently.

[ratgirlagogo]

On 6/3/2020 at 9:23 AM, Shannon L. said:

All women and POC are in luck!  If anyone ever does invent time travel, then you can go back to any decade and dress any way you want or do anything you want and  you'll only get a side eye from people.  At worst, one bully in the bunch will say something derogatory or borderline hostile, but all you have to do is show your strength, either by a verbal threat or grabbing their collar and pushing them and they'll leave you alone.

 

On 6/3/2020 at 11:55 AM, DoctorAtomic said:

Don't go traveling with the Doctor then!

Doctor Who is nowhere near as big an offender on this as the American and Canadian shows like Timeless, Legends of Tomorrow, Warehouse 13, Murdoch Mysteries, Frankie Drake Mysteries, etc.

Of course I don't really take it seriously and  just snicker through that stuff on the above shows since they are comedies.

[DoctorAtomic]

When did Warehouse 13 go into the past?

Best use of time travel on a series - Eureka.

[ABay]

Not the OP but Warehouse 13 went to Victorian London for HG Wells and the 1960s for the 2 former agents whose names I am blanking on.

[Raja]

US police and federal agents who are used to working undercover when told to wear a suit for an assignment can't seem to find a necktie 

[Blergh]

27 minutes ago, Raja said:

US police and federal agents who are used to working undercover when told to wear a suit for an assignment can't seem to find a necktie 

Or Don Johnson's character seemingly unable to find socks back in Miami Vice days! 

[kiddo82]

Everyone on the run who needs a place to "lay low" for a few days has an old army buddy with a hunting cabin, an old boyfriend with a country house, or an eccentric great aunt who doesn't trust the government and lives semi-off the grid.   And it doesn't matter what part of the country or the world they're in, they're always be able to get to these people.  If assassins are ever after me I'm effed.  

Edited June 13, 2020 by kiddo82

[merylinkid]

If you are in academia, you will be offered a full professorship at your alma mater immediately upon graduation.   You will, of course, have attended this prestigious university right in  your own home town.     No adjuncting at time schools in the middle of nowhere for years while competing with 1200 other recent Ph.ds for the 2 available positions in your field each year.  

[Hiyo]

And of course will have at least one student that you will end up in a relationship with. The flirting will begin no later than the third class you teach.

[Katy M]

3 hours ago, kiddo82 said:

Everyone on the run who needs a place to "lay low" for a few days has an old army buddy with a hunting cabin, an old boyfriend with a country house, or an eccentric great aunt who doesn't trust the government and lives semi-off the grid.   And it doesn't matter what part of the country or the world they're in, they're always be able to get to these people.  If assassins are ever after me I'm effed.  

Just try not to get on the bad side of assassins, or those who can afford them.

[Mabinogia]

3 hours ago, kiddo82 said:

Everyone on the run who needs a place to "lay low" for a few days has an old army buddy with a hunting cabin, an old boyfriend with a country house, or an eccentric great aunt who doesn't trust the government and lives semi-off the grid.   And it doesn't matter what part of the country or the world they're in, they're always be able to get to these people.  If assassins are ever after me I'm effed.  

Damn, you made me realize, I really need to expand my social circle. I don't even have a contact who can get me a fake identity. I'm screwed!

[praeceptrix]

1 hour ago, merylinkid said:

If you are in academia, you will be offered a full professorship at your alma mater immediately upon graduation.   You will, of course, have attended this prestigious university right in  your own home town.     No adjuncting at time schools in the middle of nowhere for years while competing with 1200 other recent Ph.ds for the 2 available positions in your field each year.  

Ouch. Reality is too painful sometimes (and I am one of the lucky ones who did get a full-time position after a decade on the adjunct hamster wheel!).

I'm sure that everyone who watches fictional portrayals of their careers gets frustrated, especially those in the medical and legal fields. I have yet to see anything remotely close to my experiences as a college professor (or student, for that matter).

[Katy M]

2 hours ago, praeceptrix said:

I'm sure that everyone who watches fictional portrayals of their careers gets frustrated, especially those in the medical and legal fields. I have yet to see anything remotely close to my experiences as a college professor (or student, for that matter).

I obviously only ever went to one college.  (or maybe not obviously, but that's what happened).  A lot of times when I see college on TV, it's like it's high school.  Bells ring at the end of class.  That didn't happen at my school.  On Boy Meets World one time Mr. Feeney (during the college years) said he didn't feel like teaching and told the class to read quietly.  Why wouldn't he just cancel class?    It's not like he even just said he needed 10 minutes to get something ready.  No, he wanted them to sit there and read for the whole class. Come on.

Another thing that happened on BMW, and I'm trying to think of other shows.  All through hs and college, Shawn, Topanga, and Corey seemed to be in every single class together.  What was up with that?  At least in 90210, they seemed to mix it up a bit and there'd only be 2 or 3 of the cast in any given class and they were different each class.  

[Hiyo]

Quote

I'm sure that everyone who watches fictional portrayals of their careers gets frustrated, especially those in the medical and legal fields.

Yeah, watching the CW, it's amazing how normal it is for a 25 yo to be a doctor. And I don't mean a resident, I mean a full time independent physician.

[DearEvette]

3 hours ago, praeceptrix said:

I'm sure that everyone who watches fictional portrayals of their careers gets frustrated, especially those in the medical and legal fields. I have yet to see anything remotely close to my experiences as a college professor (or student, for that matter).

This is so true.  Some shows gets some stuff right.  I remember A Different World did a pretty good job. The best being the dorm rooms weren't super spacious and when they showed pledging or finals week episode, those were well done. 

Dear White people also gets some stuff correct.  Mostly the different student organizations on campus.  The one episode from S1 where the campus police put a gun in Reggie's face is probably one of the best depictions of a typical social life day of a college student.

On the professorial/Administrative side I have yet to see anything come close.  Although I do admit that Community's 'Modern Warfare' episode where the prize being priority registration that causes everybody to lose their minds is pretty funny because priority registration is no joke.

[Irlandesa]

59 minutes ago, DearEvette said:

On the professorial/Administrative side I have yet to see anything come close.  Although I do admit that Community's 'Modern Warfare' episode where the prize being priority registration that causes everybody to lose their minds is pretty funny because priority registration is no joke.

I kept waiting for an episode where they couldn't get a study room in the library because, in the middle of the day, people fight for those.

[Annber03]

4 hours ago, Katy M said:

I obviously only ever went to one college.  (or maybe not obviously, but that's what happened).  A lot of times when I see college on TV, it's like it's high school.  Bells ring at the end of class.  That didn't happen at my school.  On Boy Meets World one time Mr. Feeney (during the college years) said he didn't feel like teaching and told the class to read quietly.  Why wouldn't he just cancel class?    It's not like he even just said he needed 10 minutes to get something ready.  No, he wanted them to sit there and read for the whole class. Come on.

Another thing that happened on BMW, and I'm trying to think of other shows.  All through hs and college, Shawn, Topanga, and Corey seemed to be in every single class together.  What was up with that?  At least in 90210, they seemed to mix it up a bit and there'd only be 2 or 3 of the cast in any given class and they were different each class.  

My favorite thing about watching shows set in high school is the kinds of clothes that the students, especially the girls, would wear. They've got halter tops and miniskirts and off the shoulder shirts and midriff shirts and I'm like, "So...there's no dress code at this school, then?" No way in hell would anyone have been allowed to get by wearing any of that stuff at my high school. 

[DoctorAtomic]

Most of my friends in undergrad did actually take classes together. I skipped a few because of AP and took a bunch ahead to get them out of the way or because I heard the prof was easy. It ended up that I was in classes with the same bunch anyway. 

No bells though. 

Turned out I had nearly a full senior year of no class at all and just took credits for capstone. 

[DrSpaceman73]

If someone has a sex change operation, they will not tell any old friends or warn them about it before seeing them for the first time in 20 years.  they will just show up and allow the hilarity to ensue. 

I don't know how it happens in real life, but on TV, that's the story. 

Also the transwomen will likely be really hot and cause the cis male former friend to be attracted to them

[Trini]

7 hours ago, Irlandesa said:

I kept waiting for an episode where they couldn't get a study room in the library because, in the middle of the day, people fight for those.

I feel like this happened at least once? I haven't watched in a while. Or maybe they met somewhere else once?

[bijoux]

2 hours ago, Trini said:

I feel like this happened at least once? I haven't watched in a while. Or maybe they met somewhere else once?

Alternative History of the German Invasion from season 4.

[Blergh]

16 hours ago, Katy M said:

I obviously only ever went to one college.  (or maybe not obviously, but that's what happened).  A lot of times when I see college on TV, it's like it's high school.  Bells ring at the end of class.  That didn't happen at my school.  On Boy Meets World one time Mr. Feeney (during the college years) said he didn't feel like teaching and told the class to read quietly.  Why wouldn't he just cancel class?    It's not like he even just said he needed 10 minutes to get something ready.  No, he wanted them to sit there and read for the whole class. Come on.

Another thing that happened on BMW, and I'm trying to think of other shows.  All through hs and college, Shawn, Topanga, and Corey seemed to be in every single class together.  What was up with that?  At least in 90210, they seemed to mix it up a bit and there'd only be 2 or 3 of the cast in any given class and they were different each class.  

Not to mention that somehow Cory, Topanga and even Shawn managed to graduate in just TWO years  (Topanga , maybe because she was very academically diligent  yet two instead of three years would be a stretch but  the goof-offs Cory and Shawn? nah) and also they and Cory's somewhat older brother Eric managed to be taught in the very same class by Mr. Feeny. Yeah, this meant they all got to participate in that rather moving Series Finale of the students wearing their emotions on their sleeves saying farewell to their seemingly lifelong teacher who gave  them worthy goals to shoot for in the real world yet held it in until after they left the classroom but this simply would have been impossible to have pulled off in Real Life.

[merylinkid]

22 hours ago, praeceptrix said:

Ouch. Reality is too painful sometimes (and I am one of the lucky ones who did get a full-time position after a decade on the adjunct hamster wheel!).

I'm sure that everyone who watches fictional portrayals of their careers gets frustrated, especially those in the medical and legal fields. I have yet to see anything remotely close to my experiences as a college professor (or student, for that matter).

Sorry Praeceptrix, didn't mean to hit a nerve.   

Lawyers portrayal on tv is the WORST.   Mostly because 90% of what attornes do is boring as hell.   We are in our offices drafting documents, reviewing documents or trying to convince our clients of basic realities of the law for the 800th time (no this very specific law cannot be changed for just YOUR case so you can have what you want).    On TV they are in court all the time, while in reality even litigators spend very little time in court.   Only 2% of cases go to trial on TV it is more like 98%.   

The ABSOLUTE WORST at this was the Good Wife.   They would be taking depositions in the middle of trial because something surprised them at trial.   Yeah discovery is loooooong since over and that expert's report that surprised you -- you saw that weeks ago.   Or they file a lawsuit and get to take depositions IMMEDIATELY at a time demanded by the other party.   Just ugh.