Faux Life: Things That Happen On TV But Not In Reality

[selkie]

On 1/22/2020 at 2:08 AM, Hiyo said:

Apparently, small British towns and villages in the countryside may appear charming and idyllic, but if British detective shows are anything to go by, they are actually places full of sex, corruption, deception, and murder...lots and lots of murder.

 

This helpful avoiding death  guide showed up in my Facebook feed the other day:

 

https://crimereads.com/your-guide-to-not-getting-murdered-in-a-quaint-english-village/

[Danielg342]

My guess is that the reason for the "murder village" setting is that it offers "shock value"- in a big city (which, to Hollywood, means the city's worst areas, never the nicer areas) you'd "expect" crimes to happen, but in a small, idyllic, quaint, "charming" small town, you'd "never expect" a crime to happen, let alone one as gruesome as murder. Heck, in real life small towns get on edge whenever murders happen.

The upshot, though, is that in these idyllic, quaint small towns a serial killer would eventually get easy to spot. Even in a town of 10,000, there'd still be enough people to connect to one individual, especially if that one guy is going around causing all kinds of havoc and the town has had enough of their B.S.

This is of course on top of the fact that the people who live in those towns are generally people who have their lives together and wouldn't be the types to commit crime- at least not violent crimes (you'd probably get theft and drugs and vandalism, usually at the hands of bored teens). Then, of course, if multiple murders started happening with any kind of regularity, I'm pretty sure people would start fleeing the town- after all, they likely moved away from "the big city" to get away from that stuff, so they sure won't want to put up with it in their new town.

[DoctorAtomic]

That certainly brings up the interesting discussion about how 'small town values' on TV are shown to be superior to 'the city', yet all the murders on TV are in the small towns. 

[Blergh]

1 hour ago, DoctorAtomic said:

That certainly brings up the interesting discussion about how 'small town values' on TV are shown to be superior to 'the city', yet all the murders on TV are in the small towns. 

I suppose it's more relaxing and picturesque to be stabbed in a covered bridge during a barn dance than it would be to be stabbed on a subway on the way to a rave. 

[SVNBob]

2 hours ago, DoctorAtomic said:

yet all the murders on TV are in the small towns. 

Well, not all of them.  Otherwise the Law & Order franchise wouldn't exist.

[Anduin]

18 minutes ago, SVNBob said:

Well, not all of them.  Otherwise the Law & Order franchise wouldn't exist.

CSI: Flyover Country. Or in Australia, CSI: Outback. We probably have our own different name for that role, but I can't remember it. You get the idea. 🙂

[Hiyo]

To be fair, not every detective show in the UK is based in a small town. But many of them are, which makes one wonder about the body counts of murders in small villages versus the cities.

Speaking of Law & Order, apparently, SVU doesn't usually handle homicide cases. If they do, it's supposed to be working with people from the homicide division.

[melanie.hiscock]

In real life, actual girls and women don't like that a lot of ladies formalwear is designed for tits and arse or is so tight that if even if they are covered they still feel like everything is on display.

In TV land, where the network execs wants more young male viewers, the "teenage girl" (the actress is usually in her 20s) or young woman is in a dress and sparkly jewelry and ladies heels, a female ornament on a young man's arm. Trousers? What be them?

@Blergh @SVNBob

[Danielg342]

I could go on a rant about how TVland promotes a lot of problematic sexual and romantic behaviour, but I don't have the time for it now.

All I'm going to say is that TVland does a lot to promote unrealistic sexual expectations, namely, if you're not getting regular sex there's something wrong with you (especially if you're a guy). The idea that a man may not desire sex until he's found the right moment, or the idea that men and women can't be friends (unless the man is gay) seems foreign to Hollywood.

[Katy M]

44 minutes ago, Danielg342 said:

I could go on a rant about how TVland promotes a lot of problematic sexual and romantic behaviour, but I don't have the time for it now.

All I'm going to say is that TVland does a lot to promote unrealistic sexual expectations, namely, if you're not getting regular sex there's something wrong with you (especially if you're a guy). The idea that a man may not desire sex until he's found the right moment, or the idea that men and women can't be friends (unless the man is gay) seems foreign to Hollywood.

They also really seem to push the "third-date" rule.  I know I'm not everybody, or course, but that seems way too early for that kind of intimacy to me.  Especially as to be more or less automatic.  "Hey, it's our third date.  Clothes off.  It's in the rules."

[DoctorAtomic]

First date or gtfo. I'm just going to make a TV show where everyone is doing it. 

[Mabinogia]

14 hours ago, selkie said:

This helpful avoiding death  guide showed up in my Facebook feed the other day:

 

https://crimereads.com/your-guide-to-not-getting-murdered-in-a-quaint-english-village/

I am planning a trip to UK this year. This guide will be very helpful. Thank you. I am now looking into renting a dog to take with me. 😉

[ABay]

Stay away from the "xylophone of death"! (staircase)

[Katy M]

1 hour ago, ABay said:

Stay away from the "xylophone of death"! (staircase)

It seems to me like every time someone falls down the stairs they die.  at the very least they're in a coma.  I can't count the number of times I've fallen down the stairs and been none the worse for wear.

[Danielg342]

1 hour ago, ABay said:

Stay away from the "xylophone of death"! (staircase)

...and remember to run over anyone that wants to show you a vat. The police will understand about the vat.

[Shannon L.]

When spending the night at someone else's house, people who sleep in the nude will get up to use the restroom or get something to drink/eat without putting on a robe. 

[Bastet]

5 minutes ago, Shannon L. said:

When spending the night at someone else's house, people who sleep in the nude will get up to use the restroom or get something to drink/eat without putting on a robe. 

Maybe they're so used to it they don't think about it?  It seems odd, but yesterday I walked around naked for a couple of hours because I tossed the house clothes I'd been wearing into the wash load, intending to go shower, but then thought of something I wanted to do before showering (and didn't want to put on clean clothes until after I showered), and then proceeded to do several more things around the house.  After just that small bit of time, I opened the door to take the recycling out to the bin before realizing, "Oh, I'm naked."  (The neighbors on one side could see me if they were in just the right/wrong place.)  So for people who sleep naked every night, I guess I can see them not being immediately cognizant of the fact they're at someone else's home.  Maybe. 

[DoctorAtomic]

23 hours ago, Katy M said:

It seems to me like every time someone falls down the stairs they die.  at the very least they're in a coma.  I can't count the number of times I've fallen down the stairs and been none the worse for wear.

You may want to look into that. People aren't really supposed to be falling down the stairs with regularity. 

[Bort]

On the flip side, I always thought it was weird that people on tv wearing full pajamas would wake up and then put on a robe.

[Bastet]

6 minutes ago, kariyaki said:

On the flip side, I always thought it was weird that people on tv wearing full pajamas would wake up and then put on a robe.

While in a mild way, I tend to notice that, too, since I don't even own a robe but apparently almost everyone on TV wears one regularly.

[juno]

32 minutes ago, DoctorAtomic said:

You may want to look into that. People aren't really supposed to be falling down the stairs with regularity. 

You need to watch "Russian Doll" it may change your mind.

[Ohiopirate02]

27 minutes ago, kariyaki said:

On the flip side, I always thought it was weird that people on tv wearing full pajamas would wake up and then put on a robe.

Unless it's cold, I only put my robe on over my pajamas when I have guests.  The robe's purpose is to help corral the girls as a courtesy.  A sweatshirt also works.  

Now on TV, somehow the actresses can wear a cute tank top to sleep in without the girls misbehaving as it were.  

[Katy M]

41 minutes ago, DoctorAtomic said:

You may want to look into that. People aren't really supposed to be falling down the stairs with regularity. 

I'm not saying that I do it with regularity, but I'm 47 years old, and I've always lived placed with stairs, and I probably do it once every 4 or 5 years.  So, I've probably fallen downstairs 20 times or so in my life.

[DoctorAtomic]

No guests - no clothes - no problem. 

[Ohiopirate02]

1 hour ago, DoctorAtomic said:

No guests - no clothes - no problem. 

I would, but my two brothers are too priggish for that.  I have to hide all evidence of being a woman with a womans body when I am around them.  My sister OTOH, doesn't give a shit.  

[Hiyo]

If you're pregnant, avoid stairs and staircases.

That's all I'm going to say.

[Haleth]

14 hours ago, DoctorAtomic said:

You may want to look into that. People aren't really supposed to be falling down the stairs with regularity. 

Any number of mothers of toddlers on House Hunters will tell you that stairs are a death trap and need to be avoided at all cost.

14 hours ago, kariyaki said:

On the flip side, I always thought it was weird that people on tv wearing full pajamas would wake up and then put on a robe.

It's cold in the house when I get up.  I need a nice, cozy robe for most of the year.

[Bort]

7 minutes ago, Haleth said:

It's cold in the house when I get up.  I need a nice, cozy robe for most of the year.

Yeah, it’s the exact opposite where I live. I don’t even own a robe.

[janie jones]

On 1/26/2020 at 12:59 PM, Bastet said:

Maybe they're so used to it they don't think about it?  It seems odd, but yesterday I walked around naked for a couple of hours because I tossed the house clothes I'd been wearing into the wash load, intending to go shower, but then thought of something I wanted to do before showering (and didn't want to put on clean clothes until after I showered), and then proceeded to do several more things around the house.  After just that small bit of time, I opened the door to take the recycling out to the bin before realizing, "Oh, I'm naked."  (The neighbors on one side could see me if they were in just the right/wrong place.)  So for people who sleep naked every night, I guess I can see them not being immediately cognizant of the fact they're at someone else's home.  Maybe. 

Yeah, but do people who sleep in the nude in real life still sleep in the nude when they're at someone else's house?  They might not notice that they are nude, but I question whether they'd even be nude in the first place, as a guest in someone else's home. 

[Mittengirl]

Don’t forget slippers - TV people never take a step out of bed at night without first putting on slippers.  People can always sit up, swing their feet over the edge of the bed and their slippers are right there, ready to slide on.
 

The first TV show I can remember where the robe and slippers thing bugged me was The Brady Bunch.  Those kids always had slippers at the side of their bed and a robe draped across the end.  I never had either and I always felt incomplete.  I have gotten over it now, you will be pleased to know.

Edited January 28, 2020 by Mittengirl

[Browncoat]

I actually do have slippers next to my bed and a robe draped on the foot of the bed.  I don't use the slippers in the summer, but I use a robe year-round.  I don't have an en suite, and I prefer to wear something on the trip between the bathroom and bedroom after a shower.

[Mabinogia]

1 hour ago, Mittengirl said:

Don’t forget slippers - TV people never take a step out of bed at night without first putting on slippers.  People can always sit up, swing their feet over the edge of the bed and their slippers are right there, ready to slide on.

And for me it's the opposite. No matter how cold it is, they could be in long johns, thermals, fleece PJs, sweater etc. and they are barefoot! Seriously people, if you are cold, put socks on. It makes a world of difference! I see it all the time in Christmas commercials, the kids in their flannels running barefoot to the tree. Slipper would have come in real handy right about then. Maybe if they bought some slippers they wouldn't need to jack up the heat to 80 degrees to keep their feet warm. lol 

I put my slippers on as soon as I take off my shoes at night. I have slippers by the bed that I do slip into in the middle of the night because my bathroom floor is cold and I live in New England where I've been cold for about two months now and have another two months of being constantly cold before we jump to 6 months of sweating off the balls I don't even have! Seriously, I miss spring and fall. Please come back to me spring and fall. 

Yikes, that took a turn. Anyway, if it's cold enough for flannel pjs it is sock and slipper weather. 

[Bastet]

2 hours ago, Mittengirl said:

The first TV show I can remember where the robe and slippers thing bugged me was The Brady Bunch.  Those kids always had slippers at the side of their bed and a robe draped across the end.  I never had either and I always felt incomplete.

LOL.  I don't have a robe or slippers, either.

The prevalence of slippers on TV is partially for the same reason most TV characters wear shoes in the house: set floors are pretty dirty.

[Moose135]

21 hours ago, Hiyo said:

If you're pregnant, avoid stairs and staircases.

I won't get in an elevator with a pregnant woman...

[DoctorAtomic]

3 hours ago, janie jones said:

Yeah, but do people who sleep in the nude in real life still sleep in the nude when they're at someone else's house?  They might not notice that they are nude, but I question whether they'd even be nude in the first place, as a guest in someone else's home. 

I've had something within reaching distance. 

I have slippers for work (in an office). 

[CoderLady]

2 hours ago, Moose135 said:

I won't get in an elevator with a pregnant woman...

Especially if there's the possibility of a power outage or a major storm front about to hit the area.

However, you're probably ok if you're a woman. It only seems to be men who have to deliver babies in elevators on TV for some reason.

Edited January 28, 2020 by CoderLady

[SVNBob]

5 hours ago, janie jones said:

Yeah, but do people who sleep in the nude in real life still sleep in the nude when they're at someone else's house? 

I've got a related answer from TV, but from a show you've probably never heard of: the South Korean variety (read: reality) show "Running Man".

The show is about a regular cast of Korean celebrities (and sometimes guests) traveling to different locations within South Korea, and competing in silly games and missions.  Most times, they only record once a week.  But occasionally, they planned for a second day of recording with a different theme, and put everyone up in a hotel or some other lodging.  That's all the set-up you need for this clip from the very start of a second-day recording session.

 

[andromeda331]

6 hours ago, Mittengirl said:

Don’t forget slippers - TV people never take a step out of bed at night without first putting on slippers.  People can always sit up, swing their feet over the edge of the bed and their slippers are right there, ready to slide on.
 

The first TV show I can remember where the robe and slippers thing bugged me was The Brady Bunch.  Those kids always had slippers at the side of their bed and a robe draped across the end.  I never had either and I always felt incomplete.  I have gotten over it now, you will be pleased to know.

Actually, I do that too. The first thing I do when getting out of bed is put on slippers. I hate walking around barefoot or with just socks on. So its always slippers at home and sneakers everywhere else. Even going to someone else's house where everyone else is kicking off their shoes nope I always keep them on. 

[Mabinogia]

17 hours ago, andromeda331 said:

Even going to someone else's house where everyone else is kicking off their shoes nope I always keep them on. 

When I go to my aunts house, she has a no shoes preference, I always kick off my shoes...and put on the slippers I brought with me. lol Yes, I have special visiting family members house's slippers, which are different from my own house slippers, of which I currently have three pairs. 

[theredhead77]

I hate socks. I wear them during the winter with my winter boots or athletic shoes but meh, wearing socks at home, even cozy socks is terrible. So I have slippers that I tend to wear year round to go up and down the stairs. I have to walk past the litter box area and no matter how clean I keep it, I always feel litter on my feet. Gross. So slippers it is

[bilgistic]

I also hate socks! No one understands my hatred for socks. And socks on carpet or against sheets makes my stomach turn. I don't know why.

[Ohiopirate02]

8 minutes ago, bilgistic said:

I also hate socks! No one understands my hatred for socks. And socks on carpet or against sheets makes my stomach turn. I don't know why.

I also cannot stand socks.  I wear them with shoes and that is it.  If my feet get cold, I pull out my slippers.   I have an electric blanket so I can sleep with bare feet during the winter I hate socks that much.  I can try to wear them to bed but will always kick them off as i sleep.

[Guest]

Let's get back to the actual topic of this thread, please.  

 

[JTMacc99]

On 1/21/2020 at 1:39 PM, andromeda331 said:

Why do people keep fishing at the East River when bodies are always being found there especially by fishing?

It's New York City; we're supposed to assume that dead bodies washing up in the East River is just something that happens there from time to time. No big deal.

[Annber03]

Regarding finding dead bodies, I remember somebody making a post on another site once talking about how funny it was in true crime shows that so many people automatically assume the body they find is a mannequin or something at first, as if a mannequin sitting there would somehow be more normal.. They were like, "Bob wasn't concerned at first 'cause we have plastic humans chilling in the water all the time, so he just thought it was one of them." :p. 

[Mabinogia]

2 hours ago, Annber03 said:

Regarding finding dead bodies, I remember somebody making a post on another site once talking about how funny it was in true crime shows that so many people automatically assume the body they find is a mannequin or something at first, as if a mannequin sitting there would somehow be more normal.. They were like, "Bob wasn't concerned at first 'cause we have plastic humans chilling in the water all the time, so he just thought it was one of them."

Now that I think about it, I have never seen a mannequin outside of a store so I'm pretty sure if I saw a limb sticking out of a pile of leaves on the side of a jogging path in the less traveled part of the woods I'd assume it was a dead body long before I'd think someone took the time to move a retired mannequin out there. Unless it's Kim Cattrall and she somehow made it all the way there before turning back into a Mannequin and I will go sit in my rocker and be old now. 

Edited January 30, 2020 by Mabinogia
the K escaped and I had to put it back at the end of took

[Moose135]

17 hours ago, Annber03 said:

Regarding finding dead bodies, I remember somebody making a post on another site once talking about how funny it was in true crime shows that so many people automatically assume the body they find is a mannequin or something at first, as if a mannequin sitting there would somehow be more normal..

A while back a friend told me about an incident that happened to him a few years back. He and his wife were living in a community in Arizona, it was a hot, late summer day, and the place had a wine cellar in the community center. His wife went down to get a bottle of wine - and apparently they are both big Halloween fans and had been talking about it the night before - and she comes back up to their place and says "It looks like they are getting ready for Halloween already, there's a fake body down in the wine cellar." She took him down to show him, and he said "No, I think it's a real person, and he's dead!" She didn't believe him and insisted it was a fake, even poking at it, and noting the "fake" blood and gun. Turned out it was a resident, a retired gentleman, who had killed himself the day before. The police questioned them extensively, but there was video surveillance in the cellar, so they could see what really happened.

[bilgistic]

My late uncle was a junk collector, and he once had two mannequins that he kept in his storage room on the carport. My cousin strung them up in the trees for Halloween.

[Annber03]

6 hours ago, Moose135 said:

A while back a friend told me about an incident that happened to him a few years back. He and his wife were living in a community in Arizona, it was a hot, late summer day, and the place had a wine cellar in the community center. His wife went down to get a bottle of wine - and apparently they are both big Halloween fans and had been talking about it the night before - and she comes back up to their place and says "It looks like they are getting ready for Halloween already, there's a fake body down in the wine cellar." She took him down to show him, and he said "No, I think it's a real person, and he's dead!" She didn't believe him and insisted it was a fake, even poking at it, and noting the "fake" blood and gun. Turned out it was a resident, a retired gentleman, who had killed himself the day before. The police questioned them extensively, but there was video surveillance in the cellar, so they could see what really happened.

Oh, my god, how incredibly freaky. That poor man. 

I can't imagine what it'd be like to actually come across a dead body like that. That'd be a hard image to shake from your mind. 

[Shannon L.]

You may want to make sure that there is no other way for you to get what you need out of someone's house before sneaking in because two things will happen:

1.  They will come home early, causing you to have to hide and

2.  No matter what room you hide in, you will be subjected to listening to a couple having sex.