Faux Life: Things That Happen On TV But Not In Reality

[Nordly Beaumont]

While in labor, they will yell at their husband/boyfriend "You did this to me!!" or "You're never touching me again!!"

[ratgirlagogo]

On 2/23/2018 at 11:38 AM, shapeshifter said:

On 2/23/2018 at 10:27 AM, fishcakes said:

Gunsmoke is one of my favorite old shows to watch, but I swear, Matt Dillon gets shot in the left bicep at least three times a season.

Is it always the non-dominant arm of the weapon weilding hero on TV that gets shot, or is that more just Gunsmoke-type shows?

I actually associate this "shot in the left shoulder" trope with the comic strip Dick Tracy - he's been shot in the left shoulder hundreds of times since the 1930's.

[Anela]

I saw that again earlier, on an episode of Dexter. He gets sliced in the arm, by an attacker, and what happens? Girlfriend patches him up. Cleans it off, puts those tiny pieces of something over it, and then covers it with a huge plaster. He has insurance, he was attacked by someone - he wasn't committing a crime - so why not get it seen to at the ER? Ugh. 

[GreekGeek]

On 2/24/2018 at 4:47 AM, Maharincess said:

Only on TV are all pregnant women either raging bitches, emotional wrecks, eat constantly- 24 hours a day, or are a horrid combination of all three.  I've been pregnant twice, my daughter was pregnant twice, I'm currently the guardian of a pregnant teenager and most of my friends and family have been pregnant at some point.  Not one of them acted like pregnant women do on TV.   I'm not saying that some women don't act like that but it seems like every one on TV does. 

This is on my mind because I'm laid up at the moment and have been watching way too much TV and I saw 3 different shows in one day with wretched pregnant women. 

They don't eat just anything, either, but food in wacky combinations. Have you ever known any pregnant woman who had the cliche "pickles and ice cream" craving?

[biakbiak]

1 hour ago, GreekGeek said:

They don't eat just anything, either, but food in wacky combinations. Have you ever known any pregnant woman who had the cliche "pickles and ice cream" craving?

Yes.

[ChromaKelly]

2 hours ago, GreekGeek said:

They don't eat just anything, either, but food in wacky combinations. Have you ever known any pregnant woman who had the cliche "pickles and ice cream" craving?

I was really disappointed that the one time I was pregnant, I was pretty sick the whole time and didn't even want to eat, let alone wacky combos. It wasn't even morning sickness either, just this vague bleh feeling where food seemed unappealing. I was really looking forward to guilt-free eating. Then when I finally felt a little better, I had gestational diabetes and couldn't have anything sugary or too much carbs. All I wanted was a coke slurpee. Has a TV character ever had gestational diabetes? Or that horrible itching thing towards the end? That made me absolutely miserable.

[Picture It. Sicily]

10 hours ago, ChromaKelly said:

Has a TV character ever had gestational diabetes? Or that horrible itching thing towards the end? That made me absolutely miserable.

Peter Benton's girlfriend on ER had gestational diabetes. I remember because it was the first time I had heard of it (I think I was junior high age). And I can't think of any other time it was depicted.

[GHScorpiosRule]

ONLY on television are authors who write romance depicted as caricatures and who must resemble one or some of their heroines (if it's a historical), and that there's only room for one or two in the genre. I see this a lot. Not sure if the rest should go in Unpopular Thread or not, but as someone who reads romance, and has met some of the authors I read, it's downright FUCKING INSULTING. Especially shows from the early to mid '80s that did this. I'm sure a lot of comes from the looking down from those authors who write literary fiction/highbrow, that romance, romantic suspense is looked down on as nothing but smut or trash. Yes, there are categories of those that are nothing but smut/soft porn/trash, but not all.

[Anela]

36 minutes ago, GHScorpiosRule said:

ONLY on television are authors who write romance depicted as caricatures and who must resemble one or some of their heroines (if it's a historical), and that there's only room for one or two in the genre. I see this a lot. Not sure if the rest should go in Unpopular Thread or not, but as someone who reads romance, and has met some of the authors I read, it's downright FUCKING INSULTING. Especially shows from the early to mid '80s that did this. I'm sure a lot of comes from the looking down from those authors who write literary fiction/highbrow, that romance, romantic suspense is looked down on as nothing but smut or trash. Yes, there are categories of those that are nothing but smut/soft porn/trash, but not all.

I don't read those books, but they are either portrayed as sad, lonely romantics, or as sex-crazed women, flirting with anything that moves. 

[riley702]

15 hours ago, Anela said:

I saw that again earlier, on an episode of Dexter. He gets sliced in the arm, by an attacker, and what happens? Girlfriend patches him up. Cleans it off, puts those tiny pieces of something over it...

Steri-Strips. Great invention. I had back surgery 25 years ago for a ruptured disc, and told the doctor I was allergic to codeine and Vicodin (hydrocodone). I then spent my first night vomiting so intensely I opened my incision. Then realized that the Percocet he gave me was oxycodone. I was so angry I wouldn't go back to the hospital for my incision and my friend (who'd worked as an EMT) went and got betadine and Steri-Strips and put my incision back together for me. She did a fabulous job. When I felt better the next day, I went in and yelled at the doctor that oxycodone had the same results as hydrocodone and he shouldn't have given me something that similar.

[Anela]

3 minutes ago, riley702 said:

Steri-Strips. Great invention. I had back surgery 25 years ago for a ruptured disc, and told the doctor I was allergic to codeine and Vicodin (hydrocodone). I then spent my first night vomiting so intensely I opened my incision. Then realized that the Percocet he gave me was oxycodone. I was so angry I wouldn't go back to the hospital for my incision and my friend (who'd worked as an EMT) went and got betadine and Steri-Strips and put my incision back together for me. She did a fabulous job. When I felt better the next day, I went in and yelled at the doctor that oxycodone had the same results as hydrocodone and he shouldn't have given me something that similar.

When my dad cut his hand badly in December, I panicked, and unwrapped gauze and some bandages that I'd bought for our dog (who can no longer walk). I had no idea what to do, and he was supposed to go to the VA clinic the next morning, because he could barely move it at first. I was annoyed when he didn't. I don't know what Steri-strips are, went with what I'd found in the store, and I was not calm. There is no way I would be digging a bullet out of someone.

[DearEvette]

15 hours ago, GreekGeek said:

They don't eat just anything, either, but food in wacky combinations. Have you ever known any pregnant woman who had the cliche "pickles and ice cream" craving?

I didn't want pickles and ice cream, but I definitely craved pickles when I was pregnant.  Actually I craved anything with really intense flavor.  I remember loving Newman's Own Balsamic Vinaigrette.  I'd throw some spinach in a bowl and practically drown it in that dressing. And I practically lived on wasabi peas.

[riley702]

Quote

There is no way I would be digging a bullet out of someone.

I probably could, but wouldn't, since it's illegal to avoid reporting them to the police.

Edited February 26, 2018 by riley702

[GHScorpiosRule]

3 hours ago, Anela said:

I don't read those books, but they are either portrayed as sad, lonely romantics, or as sex-crazed women, flirting with anything that moves. 

It's not even that. I'll give an example, though it's terribly dated. But had I been an adult back then, I'd be raising a ruckus about the portrayal: Hart to Hart. In season 4, which would have been about 1983. Jennifer's former English professor from Stanford has confessed that he is "Victoria Gregory" who writes those Civil War romance series, and Victoria has finally won an award. BUT he can't admit that's him, otherwise he'll lose his job at Stanford, or something like that. So he asks Jennifer to pretend to be the author, and since Jennifer is also well known, she dons a bright blonde wing, affects a Southern accent, and wears garish make-up, because that's what authors do, don'tchaknow? And she acts as if she's the heroine in the book that won her the award. It's insulting. Because one of my favorite historical series, a take on seven brides for seven brothers--meaning there are seven brothers, and the series spans like 20 years, was written by a man. And I didn't learn that until I'd finished reading it. And this was written in the mid '80s. Maybe because the author wasn't some literary English teacher at an Ivy League college, it wasn't "scandalous?" I don't know. I don't care. The whole plot was insulting.

[bijoux]

While there definitely still is a stigma, I love that Eloisa James doesn't hide that she's actually Mary Bly, a tenured English professor teaching Shakespeare. So I guess perception is changing. 

[ChromaKelly]

So is the first comment on this made by a PTV'er? I was actually searching for the origin of the turn your car radio off thing but I couldn't find it. Maybe it started back on TWOP?

[Katy M]

27 minutes ago, ChromaKelly said:

So is the first comment on this made by a PTV'er? I was actually searching for the origin of the turn your car radio off thing but I couldn't find it. Maybe it started back on TWOP?

I'm confused.  Do you turn the radio down so you can hear the explosion better, or is the loud radio causing your car to explode?

[ChromaKelly]

1 minute ago, Katy M said:

I'm confused.  Do you turn the radio down so you can hear the explosion better, or is the loud radio causing your car to explode?

I have no idea! The comment just made me think of the running "turn your car radio off when parking" thing we have on here.

[ganesh]

I am the origin. But that wasn't me. 

[DittyDotDot]

Okay @ganesh, I'll give you this one. That's a pretty good incentive to turn the radio off--if the car did indeed explode because the radio was left on!! ;)

1 hour ago, Katy M said:

I'm confused.  Do you turn the radio down so you can hear the explosion better, or is the loud radio causing your car to explode?

Yeah, I'm not sure what difference turning the volume down would do either. But then, I don't turn off my radio when I park either, so... . ;)

[ganesh]

I'll eulogize you lavishly. 

[shapeshifter]

I'll theorize a bit: There was some confluence of electrical shorts and fuel leaks that were ignited when the car was started and the tiny amount of electrical power sucked into the cabin via the radio caused the kaboom.

[Bastet]

In the hopes of never having to hear about car radios again (it's my pTV equivalent of the Super Beta Prostate stuff on TWoP's commercials threads), what actually happened is some guy who forgot high school science sprayed a bunch of aerosol deodorant and then lit a cigarette. 

[shapeshifter]

3 hours ago, Bastet said:

In the hopes of never having to hear about car radios again (it's my pTV equivalent of the Super Beta Prostate stuff on TWoP's commercials threads), what actually happened is some guy who forgot high school science sprayed a bunch of aerosol deodorant and then lit a cigarette. 

So no car radios were involved. As someone who gets migraines and hives from scented products people apply to themselves and their clothes and environments, I kind of wish this would happen more often. 

[proserpina65]

On ‎02‎/‎04‎/‎2018 at 12:19 PM, Katy M said:

I'm relatively sure we never got Veteran's Day off.  We usually got Memorial Day off, but one year we didn't.  But, Veteran's Day?  I really don't think so, but it was a while ago, so I could be wrong.  And, I'm in the US.

We got Veteran's Day and the Monday to which Memorial Day was assigned, but I think we didn't get Veteran's Day until I was in high school.

[Blergh]

OK, on TV  those who are termed 'housewives'  (even those who call themselves 'real') are NEVER seen cleaning ovens, sorting colors and whites for the laundry or taking out the trash but few  if any authentic ones can make that claim!

Edited March 3, 2018 by Blergh
s coverage

[Joe]

One from video games. You can go up to a random person on the street and say, "Tell me about yourself." She won't think this is odd behaviour. Instead she'll respond, "I think my husband is cheating on me, one of my daughters is missing, and my basement is full of rats." This is considered good news to your average player character, because it's sidequest time!

[fishcakes]

It makes me insane when two characters agree to meet "later" for dinner and then the conversation ends. They hang up the phone or walk away, depending on how the conversation is taking place, and the only thing they've agreed on is that they'll meet "later." Next scene: the two of them are eating dinner in a restaurant. How did they know which restaurant? How did they know what time? How hard is it to write, "8:00 at the Italian place?" "Cool. See you then" into the "later" scene?

[Bastet]

No need to discuss the where, because TV characters - whether they live in Podunk or Manhattan - eat all their meals out at the same restaurant.  They even get the same table every time.  And everyone they know dines there, too. 

[friendperidot]

In deference to Bastet, I won't quote any of the car radio stuff, but when I opened this thread yesterday, it opened at page 30. I was only going to read a couple of pages, then skip to the last couple, but the car radio stuff had me intrigued. I couldn't figure out why people would turn off their car radios, I'd get in mine and it would blast me. I think it was George Carlin who talked about people sneaking into cars in the middle of nights and turning up car radios. I was sure that happened to me frequently.

But so many of the discussions kept me entertained and laughing, took me most of today, but I did read 42 pages. I had several thoughts about things only on tv, but 42 pages later, I've forgotten.

[Sandman87]

Only on TV can you have a Skype teleconference with someone from their home computer, and the video feed will be in perfect quality 1080p HD. And despite the fact that the other person has invested $2,000 in a professional TV camera for their video conferencing, the audio will still sound like a crappy computer headset microphone.

 

On 2/26/2018 at 8:43 AM, GHScorpiosRule said:

ONLY on television are authors who write romance depicted as caricatures and who must resemble one or some of their heroines (if it's a historical), and that there's only room for one or two in the genre.

I don't know about romance novels, but I can think of some sci-fi/fantasy authors who look exactly like one of their main characters, with the most well known being Robert E. Howard.

[Anela]

59 minutes ago, Sandman87 said:

Only on TV can you have a Skype teleconference with someone from their home computer, and the video feed will be in perfect quality 1080p HD. And despite the fact that the other person has invested $2,000 in a professional TV camera for their video conferencing, the audio will still sound like a crappy computer headset microphone.

 

Or the sound will be perfect, until someone hits on a vitally important clue or information about something, and then the connection will be lost. Just as with the cell phones. Or someone will be murdered as the other person watches. 

I have trouble reading fiction now, as well as watching certain kinds of TV shows, because of all of this. I love The Good Place, because it surprised me. 

[andromeda331]

Murderers who plan to kill via a syringe will always end up being the one who gets poked and die with that syringe. 

[Bastet]

12 hours ago, andromeda331 said:

Murderers who plan to kill via a syringe will always end up being the one who gets poked and die with that syringe. 

Murderers planning to kill someone via injection will also take the step of bleeding any air out of the syringe, even though the purpose of that is to avoid any risk of causing an air embolism.  Do you really care about an embolism if the substance you're injecting someone with is already fatal?

[ChromaKelly]

11 minutes ago, Bastet said:

Murderers planning to kill someone via injection will also take the step of bleeding any air out of the syringe, even though the purpose of that is to avoid any risk of causing an air embolism.  Do you really care about an embolism if the substance you're injecting someone with is already fatal?

It just looks cool to squirt a little bit of the liquid from the syringe into the air. Like, I'm serious about injecting you! 
Or, maybe it's the same logic of using an alcohol swab when giving a lethal injection.

[andromeda331]

5 minutes ago, ChromaKelly said:

It just looks cool to squirt a little bit of the liquid from the syringe into the air. Like, I'm serious about injecting you! 
Or, maybe it's the same logic of using an alcohol swab when giving a lethal injection.

Ha! You beat me to it! I was going to mention the alcohol swab for lethal injections. 

[DittyDotDot]

14 hours ago, andromeda331 said:

Murderers who plan to kill via a syringe will always end up being the one who gets poked and die with that syringe. 

Serves them right. If they can't come up with something more clever than a syringe, they deserve to get the syringe themselves. ;)

[riley702]

6 hours ago, Bastet said:

Murderers planning to kill someone via injection will also take the step of bleeding any air out of the syringe...

Although, shouldn't they have done that when initially drawing up the drug? If they're that worried about it, ya know. It seems so odd for them to waste time doing that when the lethal injection should be quick so they have less chance of being caught in the act.

[ganesh]

While this is rife on tv, on Dexter, he always prepared the syringe ahead of time to jump his victims quick. So, someone thought of it. 

[ratgirlagogo]

On 3/22/2018 at 12:01 AM, Sandman87 said:

I can think of some sci-fi/fantasy authors who look exactly like one of their main characters, with the most well known being Robert E. Howard.

Really? which character?

[Sandman87]

56 minutes ago, ratgirlagogo said:

Really? which character?

Balthus, the POV character in one of the Conan stories involving Picts. He also wrote his pet dog into that one.

[Anela]

5 hours ago, ganesh said:

While this is rife on tv, on Dexter, he always prepared the syringe ahead of time to jump his victims quick. So, someone thought of it. 

I'm working my way through that right now. Just finished season five. 

[Shannon L.]

I'm guessing some sort of study was done to determine that everyone who has an accident and is unconscious for a long period of time, has an out of body experience where they are transported to an alternate universe where the people in their lives look and act differently and impart some important bits of wisdom from which the unconscious person learns a lesson in the vein of "There's no place like home".

Likewise, a study of mean people who turned nice showed that they all had the same, very realistic dream, that they were visited by 3 ghosts at Christmas time, all of whom taught them about kindness and charity.

[andromeda331]

This could be just on shows I watch but on shows with witches, magic and everything else. There will often be a prophecy. That everyone will always take literally. Somehow despite being in a magical world, no one ever stops to discuss what the prophecy means or the fact it could mean something else or have many different meanings, it could be wrong or mean the exact opposite. The prophecies we have in the real world from myths, religion, to ones in literature they all get debated endless with so many people coming out with different ideas or meanings.   

[SVNBob]

1 minute ago, andromeda331 said:

There will often be a prophecy. That everyone will always take literally. Somehow despite being in a magical world, no one ever stops to discuss what the prophecy means or the fact it could mean something else or have many different meanings, it could be wrong or mean the exact opposite.

There were a number of prophecies on Star Trek: Deep Space 9.  One 3rd season episode in particular, Destiny, revolved around the topic of how to interpret a prophecy that seemed to be coming true.

[ganesh]

Babylon 5 had the great line - Prophecy is a guess that happened to be true. If it's not its a metaphor. 

[xaxat]

On 3/22/2018 at 3:33 PM, Bastet said:

Murderers planning to kill someone via injection will also take the step of bleeding any air out of the syringe, even though the purpose of that is to avoid any risk of causing an air embolism.  Do you really care about an embolism if the substance you're injecting someone with is already fatal?

George Carlin,

Quote

In prisons, before they give you a lethal injection, they swab your arm with alcohol!
It's true! It's true. It's true! Well, they don't want you to get an infection! And you can see their point: wouldn't want some guy to go to Hell and be sick! It would take a lot of the sportsmanship out of the whole execution."

[2727]

Seems like when detectives arrive at a crime scene in every single episode of every single police series, some schmo beat cop is standing there to lift the police tape so they can duck under. I guess otherwise our heroes would be left on the perimeter, unable to cross.

I'm ready to hear there's some BTS reason for this; camera setup/angles or whatnot.

[Shannon L.]

All relationships are difficult.  They take work, but only on tv is 95% of the problems with couples is one of them being attracted to another person.

After a certain number of years together, after a certain age, couples have very little interest in sex and it's always rather pedestrian.

[2727]

There have been enough episodes of American's Funniest Home Videos to understand that people sometimes get blasted by water/spray paint/fire extinguishers/other substances ... but only on TV does the victim just stand there. Never flinches, turns his/her head, or makes the slightest attempt to get out of the way.

The audience must be given the full comedic effect of a character frozen in place, dripping.