S06.E12: Wishful Sinking

[OnceSane]

Quote

Jax cheats death when an attempt to show off goes horribly wrong; Raquel questions whether James still harbors romantic feelings for Lala; Ariana gets upset when Sandoval does not invite her on a business trip; Stassi interviews Lisa for her podcast.

[Mindthinkr]

Poor Jax. He went into the kitchen expecting sympathy for his near drowning experience and nobody took the bait. 

[rho]

All I can say, is I'm glad Lifeguard Matt was around because if Rob had been the one to save Jax, Scheana would never let us hear the end of it.

[Mindthinkr]

Is it me or does Ariana look as though she ha gained weight in her TH’s? She still is pretty an looks splendid in her two piece  

Robb does seem like a good guy and catch. He sure can waterski. If he is so good at all these leisure sports (that take time and practice) what does he do for a living? Anyone know?  Perhaps too good for Sheana. 

[Steph J]

Man, the editors and/or producers must hate Sheana given how much time per episode is devoted to her falling all over herself over Robb. If she wasn't so smug about him (and going so far out of her way to get digs in at Shay) I'd feel bad for her knowing that they've since broken up.

[Mindthinkr]

Boy my face would redden and I would be embarrassed if a Mariachis came over to a table I was sitting at to serenade me. Kind of like when they sing happy birthday to you in a restaurant. Uncomfortable (for me anyway). 

[ihartcoffee]

Jason is a hot mess,  the name change didn't help.  

[Thumper]

What is it about the words "business trip" that these folks don't understand?  

[RedDelicious]

That water was GROSS. What the hell! It's brown and murky!!

[ticklemepink]

Scheana gives me so much hate-energy. She is like a Red Bull shot. 

[Duke2801]

Rob is only 2 years younger than Jax. Calm down Scheanna. 

[dosodog]

I had so many thoughts about this episode. 

And then Schaena dropped her and Rob's yet to be conceived baby girl's name.

My mouth is still hanging open over that one. 

20 minutes ago, Mindthinkr said:

Boy my face would redden and I would be embarrassed if a Mariachis came over to a table I was sitting at to serenade me. Kind of like when they sing happy birthday to you in a restaurant. Uncomfortable (for me anyway). 

Not just you.  It happened and all I wanted to do was take my tequila shot and crawl under the table.

As a child of the 60s and 70s, I can't not hear that song from the restaurant  and immediately not start singing the Frito Bandito song in my head.  Which normally is fine, but dang if that commercial wasn't racist as you can get.

18 minutes ago, RedDelicious said:

That water was GROSS. What the hell! It's brown and murky!!

Poop?  Maybe a dead body?  Or several?

[RedDelicious]

Did we already address this? If there's a binder and a checklist, it's a rental property. There's nothing wrong with that. It's just...an investment. Scheana makes out to be so much more than it is. Rob can't even dock the boat for crying out loud.

[ihartcoffee]

16 minutes ago, ticklemepink said:

Scheana gives me so much hate-energy. She is like a Red Bull shot. 

Do you think she cringes at all watching herself say those things?  She did the same with Shay. 

That would require her to have a soul though.  

[rho]

21 minutes ago, RedDelicious said:

Did we already address this? If there's a binder and a checklist, it's a rental property. There's nothing wrong with that. It's just...an investment. Scheana makes out to be so much more than it is. Rob can't even dock the boat for crying out loud.

I've stayed in many rentals but none of them ever had a chore list. Are ALL the renters expected to complete the binder before they leave? 

[hoodooznoodooz]

Ha, ha, ha!

Jax: I cheated Death today.

Sandoval: You would have been fine. Rob was out there.

[RedDelicious]

3 minutes ago, rho said:

I've stayed in many rentals but none of them ever had a chore list. Are ALL the renters expected to complete the binder before they leave? 

I would imagine.. Rob seems to have his nonsense together (we'll give him a pass on Scheana). I can't imagine why a private home would need binders and checklists. I bet it's on AirBNB!

[nexxie]

5 minutes ago, RedDelicious said:

I would imagine.. Rob seems to have his nonsense together (we'll give him a pass on Scheana). I can't imagine why a private home would need binders and checklists. I bet it's on AirBNB!

Yep, probably AirBNB - and now everyone knows they didn’t wash the blankets!

[WhosThatGirl]

Watching Jax’s life flash before his eyes was hilarious! Jax’s greatest hits you guys! Chunky sweater! All his girlfriends calling him out!  Him stealing sunglasses just because!This show and the editors love me sometimes!

[hoodooznoodooz]

Wait.

We've been dating for ten years. Pretty much. She was married for six, so we didn't hang out.

Is that what Rob said?

Maybe Scheana has been dating Eddie Cibrian all this time, too.

Edited February 27, 2018 by hoodooznoodooz

[ExplainItAgain]

2 hours ago, rho said:

All I can say, is I'm glad Lifeguard Matt was around because if Rob had been the one to save Jax, Scheana would never let us hear the end of it.

She still even tried to give him credit for it by saying he "saved the day!" You're delusional, Scheana.

32 minutes ago, rho said:

I've stayed in many rentals but none of them ever had a chore list. Are ALL the renters expected to complete the binder before they leave? 

We just stayed in a rental in Florida and there was a binder about 3" thick with lists of rules and a list of chores we had to complete. The place was fine, but we felt uneasy and like we couldn't do anything because there were so many rules.

All the flashbacks this episode were on point.

[WhosThatGirl]

Seriously, this season is kind of hilarious in a way that hasn’t been for a little. I mean last season had its moments(remember when Schena would talk about how great her marriage to Shay was and everyone else in the cast was all “where in the world is mike Shay” and Jax was like “I don’t want Schena to be having a baby and I get a phone call because Shays in the studio. Making beats”),

but this season is funny with the magical human being that Rob is, and Schena already having their daughters name picked out and wedding venues scoured and how he can snowboard, surf, etc and change the world! And Lala and James fighting over nothing(“it’s not about the pasta!!” Will never not be funny) and James staring at fidget spinners while he gets yelled at! And now Jax almost drowns!! And to flashbacks of pretty much his terrible life choices!

I have to slow clap the producers for putting together a hilarious season. Look I didn’t have much stock on the first couple episodes when it seemed it would be another season where we watch Jax cheat on his girlfriend and where that would go but they have kind of made up for it by it seems putting that story as less of the A plot this season and while it’s mentioned at times, it’s more brief than it was in the beginning of the season where it was a focal point.

[Jextella]

2 hours ago, Steph J said:

Man, the editors and/or producers must hate Sheana given how much time per episode is devoted to her falling all over herself over Robb. If she wasn't so smug about him (and going so far out of her way to get digs in at Shay) I'd feel bad for her knowing that they've since broken up.

It occurred to me that Scheans is reality tv gold.  Producers must love Scheana for being Scheana.

1 hour ago, ihartcoffee said:

Jason is a hot mess,  the name change didn't help.  

You know that moment when you realize your life has turned a corner in an irreversible way?  That failed attempt at a swim to/from the buoy was that moment for Jax. 

We all saw it coming and now Jax knows its here.

[rho]

Every time Jax says he "cheated" death I crack up all over again. Great word choice there. At least Jax Taylor is consistent.

Edited February 27, 2018 by rho

[ivygirl]

“He didn’t give me heart-to-heart!”

”You mean ‘mouth-to-mouth’?”

LOL. One of my new favorite exchanges.

21 minutes ago, Jextella said:

It occurred to me that Scheans is reality tv gold.  Producers must love Scheana for being Scheana.

You know that moment when you realize your life has turned a corner in an irreversible way?  That failed attempt at a swim to/from the buoy was that moment for Jax. 

We all saw it coming and now Jax knows its here.

Good as gold, you mean!

[Pop Tart]

When Scheana was extolling the virtues of Rob (he skis, he snowboards, he boats, he owns a vacation home!), that was bad enough. But she followed that with how great it is to be with a “real” man, and I have never felt more like I wanted to reach through the tv and smack someone then I did in that moment. She really is just a despicable person.

[ivygirl]

41 minutes ago, WhosThatGirl said:

Seriously, this season is kind of hilarious in a way that hasn’t been for a little. I mean last season had its moments(remember when Schena would talk about how great her marriage to Shay was and everyone else in the cast was all “where in the world is mike Shay” and Jax was like “I don’t want Schena to be having a baby and I get a phone call because Shays in the studio. Making beats”),

but this season is funny with the magical human being that Rob is, and Schena already having their daughters name picked out and wedding venues scoured and how he can snowboard, surf, etc and change the world! And Lala and James fighting over nothing(“it’s not about the pasta!!” Will never not be funny) and James staring at fidget spinners while he gets yelled at! And now Jax almost drowns!! And to flashbacks of pretty much his terrible life choices!

I have to slow clap the producers for putting together a hilarious season. Look I didn’t have much stock on the first couple episodes when it seemed it would be another season where we watch Jax cheat on his girlfriend and where that would go but they have kind of made up for it by it seems putting that story as less of the A plot this season and while it’s mentioned at times, it’s more brief than it was in the beginning of the season where it was a focal point.

I saw the beginning of ep 1 today and I was thinking of that as well! Thank goodness it didn’t get dragged out through every ep. But then, Jax does SURprise us!

(Love that autocorrect went straight to “SUR” as an option)

[hoodooznoodooz]

When did Ariana become so clingy and insecure? Was her first season all an act?

Scheana, Ariana and Stassi seem like they would just fall apart without a man in their lives.

Lala, how many times are you going to warn James, "You're going to look next to you, and Lala isn't going to be there." I think this is the third time she has said it.

[Fiero425]

2 hours ago, RedDelicious said:

That water was GROSS. What the hell! It's brown and murky!!

My uncle has a summer house with a small lake; hated it! You walk in and mud's squishing between your toes! Truly GROSS! Never again! ;-)

[ivygirl]

I literally can’t even handle this episode. Jax and Sandoval one-liners. Awesome flashbacks (not just the Jax stuff, but “we’re gonna ride bulldozers...”). Compare/contrast Lala’s “Errrrrrone takes their top off!”/Ariana’s “I’m scared to lose my top.” Hubris. Irony. Destructive relationship dynamics. Biblical references (by this I mean Jax’s statement about Scheana comparing Rob to Jesus and saying it’s amazing he doesn’t walk on water... cut me some slack, it’s the closest this show will ever get). 

It’s like I could write a tenth-grade English essay on this ep and get an A.

Edited February 27, 2018 by ivygirl

[Fiero425]

2 hours ago, Duke2801 said:

Rob is only 2 years younger than Jax. Calm down Scheanna. 

Those 2 years are really 10 Jax years; livin' too hard! ;-)

1 hour ago, hoodooznoodooz said:

Wait.

We've been dating for ten years. Pretty much. She was married for six, so we didn't hang out.

Is that what Rob said?

Maybe Scheana has been dating Eddie Cibrian all this time, too.

I had forgotten about Cibrian; very handsome, but obviously a total douche-bag! ;-(

[WhosThatGirl]

Also love rob was like “I was engaged to a princess. Super close to getting married to her.. but I had to let her go” and Jax’s talking head was like “so rob almost married a princess and then didn’t for Schena.. huh?” Jax’s talking heads are so relatable.

Also while Rob didn’t save Jax, did anyone catch that Schena thinks he did? She came outside and after and said to him “lucky you were here saving the day again”.

[HunterHunted]

Rob is seriously trying to float this story that he was engaged or almost engaged to the daughter of the Sultan of Brunei. Whatever? This is nonsense. He was going to marry either Azemah Ni'matul Bolkiah or Fadzillah Lubabul Bolkiah, the daughters of the very Muslim Sultan of Brunei. Shadup! He and Scheana deserve each other.

Gawd! Scheana needs to stop talking about Rob. It's annoying and pathetic.

James keeps thinking that if he got some coins Lala would hope on his dick. Maybe she would, but he doesn't have any money so this is all hypotheticals. He needs to let it go.

[hoodooznoodooz]

Kristen's short responses to Scheana yammering on and on about Rob were hilarious. 

"Okay."

"Yeah."

"Mmm-hmm."

[yourmomiseasy]

I've only gotten to Jax's "near death" experience and I had to pause the TV so I could die.  The flashback of his life was phenomenal and that the last part was "all the stupid things I've done" and the very last stupid thing was him saying "I think I'm going to swim out to that bouy."  The editors are responsible for me having my own near death experience.  

 

I also love that FI's reasoning for not wanting to make breakfast is that there are not enough eggs i.e. the materials are not up to his expert standards.

[rho]

25 minutes ago, hoodooznoodooz said:

Kristen's short responses to Scheana yammering on and on about Rob were hilarious. 

"Okay."

"Yeah."

"Mmm-hmm."

I didn't even know Kristen and Scheana were friends but this whole exchange was worth it to have her walk in on Scheana jamming out to her own fucking song like the true narcissist that she is.

This really is the season that just keeps giving

[HunterHunted]

How did Stassi not know that George Clooney is a philanthropist? Jeez. Her head is so far up her ass. In the past decade, I'd bet that 80% of time when his name was in the news it was because of charity or politics. Stassi is wilfully ignorant. This is how her ass gets in trouble on her podcast. She can't bother to pay attention to shit that isn't about herself or her dumb drunken friends. I can see why douchenozzle Patrick treats her like crap.

[yourmomiseasy]

2 hours ago, hoodooznoodooz said:

Wait.

We've been dating for ten years. Pretty much. She was married for six, so we didn't hang out.

Is that what Rob said?

Maybe Scheana has been dating Eddie Cibrian all this time, too.

 

I died again when he said that.  It was like OMG maybe they are made for each other.  Or do you think he was low key shading her?  It doesn't seem likely, but I'd love him if that was the case.

3 hours ago, RedDelicious said:

I would imagine.. Rob seems to have his nonsense together (we'll give him a pass on Scheana). I can't imagine why a private home would need binders and checklists. I bet it's on AirBNB!

Someone posted in lat week's thread.  It's on VRBO.  The link is probably on page 3.

Raquel talking makes me stabby.  That vocal fry.  Ugh.  I want her and James to break up just so that I don't have to hear her talk.

This episode was pretty great.  Editing was amazing.  Jax and FI were hilarious and there were a lot of great moments.  

Edited February 27, 2018 by yourmomiseasy

[Pop Tart]

Madison Marie Parks-Valletta - poor, poor imaginary daughter.

[Spiderella2]

5 hours ago, Mindthinkr said:

Is it me or does Ariana look as though she ha gained weight in her TH’s? She still is pretty an looks splendid in her two piece  

Robb does seem like a good guy and catch. He sure can waterski. If he is so good at all these leisure sports (that take time and practice) what does he do for a living? Anyone know?  Perhaps too good for Sheana. 

I looked him up and he’s on IMDB as an actor an producer. He’s been on the Young & Restless since he was a kid and has produced some straight to DVD films. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2097656/

2 hours ago, HunterHunted said:

Rob is seriously trying to float this story that he was engaged or almost engaged to the daughter of the Sultan of Brunei. Whatever? This is nonsense. He was going to marry either Azemah Ni'matul Bolkiah or Fadzillah Lubabul Bolkiah, the daughters of the very Muslim Sultan of Brunei. Shadup! He and Scheana deserve each other.

Gawd! Scheana needs to stop talking about Rob. It's annoying and pathetic.

James keeps thinking that if he got some coins Lala would hope on his dick. Maybe she would, but he doesn't have any money so this is all hypotheticals. He needs to let it go.

Now it’s making me wonder if maybe Rob is part of Scheana Shay’s problem. He is telling her all these stories and mixing it in with exaggerations. She (gullible as she is), believes every single word. When she spews it out over and over again as an obsessed cult worshipper, she sounds so crazy and delusional. But maybe Rob is the one who is planting the seeds. 

Take the lake house for instance. Scheana believes it’s Rob’s house. Even Rob was quoting purchase figures and acting like it was his house to Jax/Sandoval. When in reality it’s a family lake house, which most of the time is rented on VRBO for $375/night. Everyone believed it was Rob’s house. So the last day when Scheana is running around with the binder/checklist, it seems quite incongruous given the info the guests had been given prior to the trip. (Although, if I was Rob, I would have them cleaning before they left, knowing how they do like to trash wherever they are.)

Back to the point, I think Rob does what all Hollywood folk do, lie, exaggerate, sell themselves to be more than what they are. Scheana fell for it hook, line, and sinker. If I was her friend, I would have pulled her aside weeks ago and told her to chill out. She’s sounding quite desperate. Especially when Rob admitted to her friends that he isn’t in love with her. Maybe that’s one of the reasons they broke up in December. 

Right now, currently as of 2/26/18 via their social media accounts, Scheana is still acting like they have a “deep connection” while Rob says they are just friends. He has taken her to some Hollywood events around town this year and she is still staring at him as if he is Jesus Christ and they are back together. Wow. Scheana...it’s pathetically pitiful at this point. 

[AntAnn]

IMO, James is so disrespectful to Rachel. I’m not a fan of hers, but she might as well just leave his silly little immature ass there with LaLa and go home. I doubt he’d notice she was gone. Why would she put up with his crappy behavior and why is she confiding in LaLa anyway? LaLa obviously loves the attention from him when “her man” isn’t around. I was thinking he had some redeeming qualities when the season started, but now he just strikes me as a drunk, clueless jerk. 

And don’t even get me started on Scheana. Delusional, fake, entitled bitch. Ha, Rob doesn’t like to kiss... Rob doesn’t demonstrate his love. She is so, so, so stupid. Yeah, they talked about marriage, kids, buying a house and he ran fast, like any smart man would do. 

ETA: I’ve had a vacation house on the slopes in Big Bear for years that I don’t rent out.  During the winter we and/or our kids often invite guests to spend the weekend and ski or snowboard. I would never have a binder with rules! I just call one of the many housekeeping services to tidy up after us and change the linens.  Very reasonable and it’s done properly. I’m sure the VPR crew would be pretty clueless to what constitutes clean. Just yuk! I wouldn’t want to stay in that home after they were there. 

Edited February 27, 2018 by AntAnn
Added info

[metalchik]

I haven't read any posts yet but I just wanted to come here and tell yall:

ROB! ROB! ROB! ROB! ROB! ROB! ROB! ROB! ROB! ROB! ROB! ROB! ROB! ROB! ROB! ROB! ROB! ROB! ROB! ROB! ROB! ROB! ROB! ROB! 

[Mr. Miner]

10 hours ago, Steph J said:

Man, the editors and/or producers must hate Sheana given how much time per episode is devoted to her falling all over herself over Robb. If she wasn't so smug about him (and going so far out of her way to get digs in at Shay) I'd feel bad for her knowing that they've since broken up.

I feel bad that he didn't dump her on the show, I would have loved to have seen that. She is so obnoxious!

[bosawks]

I think Arianna's "There's Something About Mary" hair has outlived it's usefulness.

[bosawks]

10 hours ago, RedDelicious said:

That water was GROSS. What the hell! It's brown and murky!!

To be fair our SURholes were out swimming in it, it'll probably take a few months for the water to purge itself of their "essence".....

[ghoulina]

Am I the only one questioning that lifeguard? I know it's Jax, but is it really typical to respond - "Is he for real?" - when someone in the water is asking for help? 

Rob, Rob, Rob. Ugh. I'm over it. I love the guys snarking on Scheana's adoration of her man. "Rob is an excellent walker!" Calm yo tits, girl. Every fucking episode she has to declare that this is what it's like to be with a REAL man. So Shay wasn't a real man because he didn't surf and snowboard? Give it a rest. 

If Rob is so perfect, why can't he prep the cabin for the supposed renters? Who invites guests to stay in their home, then makes them do maid service after? If he is so wealthy, as she puts on, couldn't he hire a girl to come take care of that? If Shceana kept coming into MY room with that stupid fucking binder, I would have decked her with it. 

Isn't the real story that this is NOT Rob's house, but a shared family home, and his mommy has probably yelled at him for leaving it trashed after having guests over? Still think it's on him to clean it up. 

Oh, oh, oh! And her 10 minute soliloquy to Kristin, about how much Rob "fucking adores" her??? Bahahaha! Kristin's faces were everything. I love that Scheana has already named their daughter (Madison Marie? Girl, Madison is so 10 years ago) and Rob is telling people he doesn't even love her. She wants to put it all on Jax. Boy will her face be red when she sees the episode. 

One more thing about Scheana, before I move on - I know Jax is gross, but I didn't appreciate her body shaming him after his trunks fell off (also, is it normal for dudes to wear underwear under swim trunks???). She looks like a freaking preying mantis. 

Okay, I lied - Divorce Closet??? What a stupid fucking idea. How does that offer anything different than just selling the shit on Ebay or in your FB buy/sell/trade group????

 

Arianna was annoying me, busting Tom's balls about how he spends HIS birthday. Hey, on YOUR birthday, it can be just you two. If that's what you want. On his birthday, he can do whatever the fuck he wants. 

 

Schwartz and Katie were cute on their date night. I love seeing them in a better place. I do really think that Katie likely had some lingering issues because of her accident years back. It's possible that suspected pot use has really helped. Whatever it is, good for them. And Tom made me laugh so hard when he said he'd always been curious when LVP lost her virginity, "but not in a perverted way"!!!! This is why I love this show; you can't make this shit up. 

 

Speaking of LVP, I enjoyed the little bit we heard of her podcast with Stassi. Makes me want to listen to the whole thing. It was fun hearing how she and Ken got together. But, for the record, I'd swim with dead bodies over poo. 

[ghoulina]

8 hours ago, hoodooznoodooz said:

Lala, how many times are you going to warn James, "You're going to look next to you, and Lala isn't going to be there." I think this is the third time she has said it.

YESSSS. She's so full of shit. I think she uses James for the attention when her man can't be around (which seems to be often). 

 

8 hours ago, HunterHunted said:

Rob is seriously trying to float this story that he was engaged or almost engaged to the daughter of the Sultan of Brunei. Whatever? This is nonsense. He was going to marry either Azemah Ni'matul Bolkiah or Fadzillah Lubabul Bolkiah, the daughters of the very Muslim Sultan of Brunei. Shadup! He and Scheana deserve each other.

He said a "prince" not a sultan, I'm not sure if there's a difference? At any rate, I had the same thought as you. Rob seems to love spinning tall tales just as much as his stage 5 clinger. 

 

7 hours ago, yourmomiseasy said:

I also love that FI's reasoning for not wanting to make breakfast is that there are not enough eggs i.e. the materials are not up to his expert standards.

I mean, a dozen eggs for 9 people is really fucking shitty. Rob and Scheana are just the worst hosts. 

 

5 hours ago, AntAnn said:

IMO, James is so disrespectful to Rachel.

He literally said that when Lala got with "her man", he had to find SOMEONE. Raquel is a moron for not leaving his ass. 

[metalchik]

5 hours ago, AntAnn said:

IMO, James is so disrespectful to Rachel. I’m not a fan of hers, but she might as well just leave his silly little immature ass there with LaLa and go home. I doubt he’d notice she was gone. Why would she put up with his crappy behavior and why is she confiding in LaLa anyway? LaLa obviously loves the attention from him when “her man” isn’t around. I was thinking he had some redeeming qualities when the season started, but now he just strikes me as a drunk, clueless jerk. 

THIS right here!  I'll be damned if I would stick around for his shit.  So disrespectful!

[Otherkate]

Can we please talk about how Jax had on pink underwear under his swim trunks, but FI Tom had a pair of pink swimshorts under his other swimshorts, because he likes "a pop of color under the boardshorts"???

A POP OF COLOR UNDER THE BOARDSHORTS.

I love you Flat Iron. I love you so much.

[TattleTeeny]

Quote

Is it me or does Ariana look as though she ha gained weight in her TH’s? She still is pretty an looks splendid in her two piece  

It really seems like they all have in the THs! Maybe it's badly lit or they're slouching or everyone's clothes are just wrong there, but it's rampant!

Quote

I've stayed in many rentals but none of them ever had a chore list. Are ALL the renters expected to complete the binder before they leave? 

The rental houses in the Outer Banks have lists like this, which to me seems worse; we already paid to stay there and we're cleaning too? But if they were all guests of Rob and not paying, then yes, they should help clean.

Edited February 27, 2018 by TattleTeeny