S05.E12: 55 and Lovin It

[OnceSane]

Quote

Capt. Lee tests Matt as he removes Bruno from the galley and joins the women for dinner; Jen and Kate's working relationship deteriorates; Kyle and Jen grow closer, but Kyle has ulterior motives; Jen reaches her breaking point.

[Mindthinkr]

Just watching Chef Matt make the Scallop salad. Does he wash his hands enough?? 

Edited November 22, 2017 by Mindthinkr
Someone kindly told me that Matt was the current chef, not Ben. Mea culpa.

[TexasGal]

Omg, I snorted at Bruno and Kyle’s “whoa!” in sync after Jen called Baker a whore.

[ihartcoffee]

Haha, Bri is getting the boot at the end of the charter it seems! Oh Nico you dog you.  

[Real4real]

Loved the stages of drunkenness per Kate!  "This is fun . . . I love you all . . . I REALLY love you all . . . I hate you all . . . I hate my life . . . I'm going to bed".  Lol!

[Nancypants]

Oh yay drunk fat old gals. Blah..sad Disco party...,scallops are gummy? SO is  your brain bitch, after 65 wines.

Poor Matt. Nice guy, but He is Waffle House.

Fucking love Kyle. Bri seems normal .

Fuck you and your hair, Jen.

2 hours ago, Mindthinkr said:

Just watching Chef Ben make the Scallop salad. Does he wash his hands enough?? 

You mean Matt. Ben ain't there. 

Sadly.

Edited November 22, 2017 by Nancypants
Fuck you nico

[PaperTree]

So we begin with Jenderella on yet another roll of whining.  Enough!!  She is just useless.  Can't even run an orange juicer.  At this point in the season Kate is resigned that she is stuck with her.

Yes Niko, don't be a dick.  Try harder.  Nice of him to acknowledge EJ helped him.  It showed on the boat docking.  Bri merrily flinging along with him.  I didn't quite understand the phone call with Mom.  What happened to the brother that was on the boat?  

Kyle does bring the weird.  Fun to watch, don't want the experience. 

The guests seemed so nice.  Then they get weird.  Really weird.  Sloppy weird indeed!  Captain Lee, earning his tip at the "party".

I loved Kate's "stages of getting hammered".  Hilarious

Matt's cooking is rather uninspiring.  Scallops can be hard to cook, but gummy is bad.  I do them under a gas broiler and have to really watch them.

You don't eat fish?  On a yacht.  In the Caribbean.  And don't notify anybody beforehand.  I would be ordering lobster and filet mignon for what they pay for these charters, but that's just me.

Not sure why Capt. Lee is so upset about the tip.  I thought tips are usually a percentage of the total, so if the charters are the same length and cost, the tip should be about the same.  Unless of course they totally wow the primary and s/he wants to give more.  She praised the food, but who knows how sincere that was.  Maybe he should let Bruno help again.

Glad Kate figured out Jen overslept after bitching about Kyle. Does she know he made the coffee?  I wonder how long Jen spent on her hair.

Kate taking control of the menu.  Smart.  I remember this primary.  Matt needs the guidance. 

Now we get to experience Frisky Jen.  What could possibly go wrong?  A wandering fork and shots of Jaegermeister!  LOL

Kyle needs to get over the food thing.  I agree it's rude, but just tell her to knock it off and move on.

You live in very tight quarters.  Germs are swapping around all the time.

Jen really shouldn't drink that much.  She holds her liquor worse than Matt, then really likes to fling "whore" out there.  Go away and never come back.  Ever.

 

 

Jen + Kyle = Jekyl?

[Nancypants]

These birches make muddle aged women look sad.

Mediocre season. Kate deserves better.

[Petunia13]

Jen reminds me so much of Kim Richards. They have similar features, personalities, talking points. 

[Real4real]

How does Kyle ever eat anything?  Surely he must know that multiple hands have probably touched his food before it is delivered to him at his table!  I would like for him to get a seat to watch food prep in any restaurant kitchen during dinner service, or better yet, in the ship's galley where he can watch Matt tossing the salads with his bare hands!

[Petunia13]

Kyle: likes perfect sanitation and pristine conditions when it comes to food.

Also Kyle: Has unprotected sex with strangers pressed against dumpsters and has slept on street benches. 

[Mondrianyone]

Just now, Petunia13 said:

Kyle: likes perfect sanitation and pristine conditions when it comes to food.

Also Kyle: Has unprotected sex with strangers pressed against dumpsters and has slept on street benches. 

This should be his business card.

[VagueDisclaimer]

Kyle is a virtual stranger to Jen. Jen thought she was being cute/flirtatious with sticking her fork into his food the way she did. This isn’t about Kyle’s personal preferences. It’s about Jen’s overfamiliarity. If someone did that, especially someone i barely knew, I’d be turned off too. Baker running interference and attempting to curb things because she wanted to prevent a Jensplosion says it all, really? And what does Baker get for her effort?  Jen calls her a whore, a term that seems to just roll off Jen’s lips quite easily, as she’s said the same to every one of her female coworkers at this point. 

What i liked was Kyle calling out Jen’s behavior at the end. Jen ran to Nico and Bri for sympathy, i guess? She needed to sell her newest victim story and she lost the audience that saw her recent antics. And Kyle heard her and called her out. Because she is the one who blew things with Kyle, she’s the one who is a sloppy drunk, and she’s the one who flipped on Baker for no reason, but poor her? The same behavior she’s had all season. I know it won’t make a dent but i do appreciate it Kyle doing it. It really got out of control in the end, though. 

Also, Jen not understanding “disconcerting” had nothing to do with Kyle’s accent.

Edited November 22, 2017 by VagueDisclaimer

[ivygirl]

2 hours ago, Petunia13 said:

Jen reminds me so much of Kim Richards. They have similar features, personalities, talking points. 

They both love handmade chicken salad? 

Edited November 22, 2017 by ivygirl

[yourmomiseasy]

It's hilarious to me that Jen was trying to be flirty by eating off Kyle's plate and it is literally the only thing she could have done to blow it with him.

[laprin]

I wish I was there when the sloppy drunk Christian primary watched herself last night. 

There is no point to firing Jen on the very last charter and, yet, I hope that preview was not a tease. 

Oh, Nico. I hope you get the same big fat “nope” that Matt did when he tried to go back to his ex. 

[PaperTree]

4 hours ago, VagueDisclaimer said:

Baker running interference and attempting to curb things because she wanted to prevent a Jensplosion says it all, really? And what does Baker get for her effort?  Jen calls her a whore, a term that seems to just roll off Jen’s lips quite easily, as she’s said the same to every one of her female coworkers at this point

Proving once again that no good deed goes unpunished  :)

[walnutqueen]

6 hours ago, Petunia13 said:

Jen reminds me so much of Kim Richards. They have similar features, personalities, talking points. 

And 100% pain for 5, 7 or 9 days?

I am STILL cringing with second-hand embarrassment for everyone on this shitshow.

[FamilyVan]

"They don't want me talking to Captain Lee, they're jealous"  HAAA! OMG dying laughing - this poor woman. 

[keetmommy]

8 minutes ago, FamilyVan said:

"They don't want me talking to Captain Lee, they're jealous"  HAAA! OMG dying laughing - this poor woman. 

I hope she is a bit horrified by her behavior...

[ghoulina]

Man, these charter guests were a hot mess, huh? Or really, just the primary. But.....you don't fuck with the primary!!!!

Seriously, though. Why such a skimpy tip? I realize Matt isn't the most inspired chef. Too many salads. Couple of the ladies didn't like fish (but they never stated as such on preference sheet). But was it really any worse than any other charter? Or was the primary just in a bad mood after her friends tried to corral her drunken ass? Sorry, I mean after her friends tried to shut her down because they were "jealous" that she was talking to Lee. Ha, okay. 

Anyhow, one charter left. Hopefully Matt can finish on a high note. I like Matt. I do. He seems sweet, but really insecure (stop texting your ex!!!!). I don't think he's cut out for this gig. He needs to work in a kitchen with other chefs. I did appreciate Kate going out to eat with him and sorting out the menu. It's kind of sad that he needs that much help from interior and deck crew, but a little collaboration can't hurt. He really should do this every time. 

I kind of loved Lee making all the crew tell the other sections what they're doing wrong. Sure, Kyle's only been there for 5 minutes, but he wasn't wrong. And, from watching all season, WE know that isn't the first time guests have woken up to no coffee, no stew, etc. Jen has overslept SEVERAL times. And then found it prudent to style her lame ass hair for another 10 minutes. She sucks. 

I'm probably going to hell, but I got a real kick out of Nico's face at dinner, when Bri was talking about how they're going to be together after charter. Bahahaha. Keep dreaming, honey. He's already planning his exit. Look, Nico is a child. He's all about instant gratification. He's all about convenience. He's going to cuddle up to whichever girl is right there, in his face. Bri was a nice lay during charter, but he's not going to put in the hard work to maintain anything long distance. 

Jen is a tacky bitch. Kyle offers to take her out to one dinner and suddenly she's acting like a married woman, trying to eat off his plate. I just find that rude. She didn't ask. It's pretty audacious. And I kind of love that Kyle will conceive a child behind a dumpster, but has impeccable table manners. 

So yea, then Jen gets shitfaced drunk, Baker's trying to look out for her and make sure she gets home, and Jen feels it necessary to call Baker a "whore". Way to be, Jen. Way to be. But, I will say, I didn't like how Bruno had to insert his ass and start manhandling Jen. He was making the situation worse. And then he's gonna lock her in the bathroom??? Get the fuck outta here with that. 

[dosodog]

2 hours ago, PaperTree said:

Proving once again that no good deed goes unpunished  :)

That's what happens when you hang with that one person who never handles their liquor well and decide to be the saver.

Oddly, for me, I find Bakers name calling worse.  I'd rather be called whore vs. idiot.

Somehow liking/enjoying sex is a worse character trait than being stupid?

And really, Baker's one shot at being a whore was with EJ.  We saw how that didn't work out.  All on EJ.  He's an.  Idiot!  Hee! 

I just got back from a week long Caribbean cruise on which there were well over 3,000 passengers. Not one, including Kate and Capt. Lee, come even close to the service provided by employees who deal with many more passengers than the crew of the Valor.

I mean for goodness sakes, every night I had a cute towel animal on my bed.  In like 5 seasons, I've seen a .....rocketship. Once.

Edited November 22, 2017 by dosodog

[ghoulina]

8 minutes ago, dosodog said:

Oddly, for me, I find Bakers name calling worse.  I'd rather be called whore vs. idiot.

Somehow liking/enjoying sex is a worse character trait than being stupid?

I wouldn't want to be called either. But Jen WAS being an idiot. What did Baker do to warrant being called a "whore"? 

[walnutqueen]

If your culinary accolades result in "really great salad dressing, Chef",  you are perhaps uninspired in the galley.

OK - nobody noticed Baker's "Ross in the blacklight" teeth?  Because I needed a rewind.

Edited November 22, 2017 by walnutqueen
spelling, GODDAMMIT!

[dosodog]

Waves at Ghoulina!

Absolutely nothing.  Unless being kind and helpful to a drunk is a bad thing.   Which it's not.  But now Jennifer has no one left to hold her hair and that's on her.  Hee heeeeeeee! 

Just to be clear, I was more pondering the different insults and what is more insulting and why one is more insulting than the other rather than if they were deserved by either party.

Edited November 22, 2017 by dosodog

[tvfanatic13]

Can someone explain what a UTI had to do with anything?

[snarts]

Jen wanted to "pop a squat" and pee in public while Baker was telling to wait until they get to the boat.  Jen then started complaining about her UTI.

[ghoulina]

3 minutes ago, snarts said:

Jen wanted to "pop a squat" and pee in public while Baker was telling to wait until they get to the boat.  Jen then started complaining about her UTI.

I think she was saying she was going to GET a UTI if she wasn't able to use the bathroom immediately. Not to be too TMI, but I am prone to UTIs and it's really not a good idea for me to "hold it". But who knows if that's the case with Jen, or if she was just being overdramatic as usual? I think Baker wanted to keep the group together and hurry back to the boat. I'm not sure if it was a safety issues or what, but it didn't look like they were THAT far from that boat. 

[snarts]

Sorry, I thought she was saying she had to pee immediately because of her UTI.  Wasn't she also yelling about giving Baker all the UTI pain?  She was drunk and incoherent.  I loved the subtitles Bravo provided when she was talking to Bri & Nico.

Oh, and yes, Nico's already looking ahead trying to rekindle his relationship at home. Typical fuckboy.

[CaliforniaLove]

1 hour ago, ghoulina said:

I'm probably going to hell, but I got a real kick out of Nico's face at dinner, when Bri was talking about how they're going to be together after charter. Bahahaha. Keep dreaming, honey. He's already planning his exit. Look, Nico is a child. He's all about instant gratification. He's all about convenience. He's going to cuddle up to whichever girl is right there, in his face. Bri was a nice lay during charter, but he's not going to put in the hard work to maintain anything long distance. 

I thought that they had planned to do some traveling together after charter & that was what Bri was alluding to at dinner? At any rate, whatever plans they made for once they got off the boat were obviously NOT going to happen. I think that's also why they added that little filler scene of him calling his mom & talking about "back home".

OK, Kyle Tribbiani. JOEY DOESN'T SHARE FOOD!!!

[ghoulina]

7 minutes ago, CaliforniaLove said:

I thought that they had planned to do some traveling together after charter & that was what Bri was alluding to at dinner? At any rate, whatever plans they made for once they got off the boat were obviously NOT going to happen. I think that's also why they added that little filler scene of him calling his mom & talking about "back home".

Yea, I think traveling together was brought up by her (I'm sure with the intention of maintaining a relationship after) and Nico was all, "Yea, yea, that sounds great." Because they still had a few weeks of charter to go. Now that the end is really drawing nigh, he wants to break free from her and go home. That grimace on his face at dinner was all I needed to see. 

[pasdetrois]

Had to laugh when Kate snitted that Jen hadn't changed her hairstyle in years. With her own overly bleached and frequently disheveled hair, Kate needs to take a seat. 

With her lazy work ethic and nonstop drama, I wonder if Jen has ruined her chances for returning to a Realtor career.

Nico, pushing out pleasant sound bites doesn't detract from your incessant bratty behavior. And clearly he is already planning to seek a new nursemaid/sex toy.

The hungover primary seemed slightly embarrassed at her drunken obnoxious behavior, sitting stiffly and alone on her bed in her cabin. I'm sure she was hoping her friends would come looking for her. Let's assume they didn't.

I wonder how many times Kyle will be in jail in his lifetime. I mean, he is already a convicted thief. Maybe his weird food issues stem from hoosegow antics.

Can we just stop with the "this is supposed to be a 5 star experience?" That ship sailed long ago - about four seasons ago.

Edited November 22, 2017 by pasdetrois

[bichonblitz]

1 hour ago, ghoulina said:

Seriously, though. Why such a skimpy tip? I realize Matt isn't the most inspired chef. Too many salads. Couple of the ladies didn't like fish (but they never stated as such on preference sheet). But was it really any worse than any other charter? Or was the primary just in a bad mood after her friends tried to corral her drunken ass? Sorry, I mean after her friends tried to shut her down because they were "jealous" that she was talking to Lee. Ha, okay. 

Maybe she's just a cheap, classless drunk that doesn't have a clue what percentage of a tip she should leave?  Wasn't she the one that was bragging how good Matt's food was every time she put a bite in her mouth? She looked proud to be handing Capt'n Lee the tip, as if it was something extra fabulous. 

[pasdetrois]

At one time there was a discussion on whether production provided the tips. Did anyone find the truth on that?

[yourmomiseasy]

1 hour ago, CaliforniaLove said:

I thought that they had planned to do some traveling together after charter & that was what Bri was alluding to at dinner? At any rate, whatever plans they made for once they got off the boat were obviously NOT going to happen. I think that's also why they added that little filler scene of him calling his mom & talking about "back home".

OK, Kyle Tribbiani. JOEY DOESN'T SHARE FOOD!!!

It definitely puts a new light on the story she was trying to spin on Kate's podcast that Nico was always just a fling for her and she had no interest in continuing after charter.

[pasdetrois]

Well, maybe Bri used Kyle. Kind of a temporary mutual admiration society. They both knew the deal.

[ghoulina]

48 minutes ago, bichonblitz said:

Maybe she's just a cheap, classless drunk that doesn't have a clue what percentage of a tip she should leave?  Wasn't she the one that was bragging how good Matt's food was every time she put a bite in her mouth? She looked proud to be handing Capt'n Lee the tip, as if it was something extra fabulous. 

That's what I'm thinking. She probably had no idea what a typical tip for a charter trip would be. 

[Petunia13]

Jen calling any woman who annoys or disagrees with her a "whore." 

[yourmomiseasy]

At least there's been variety -- Kate was an old whore, Bri was sexually promiscuous, and Baker was a whore.

[snarts]

1 hour ago, yourmomiseasy said:

It definitely puts a new light on the story she was trying to spin on Kate's podcast that Nico was always just a fling for her and she had no interest in continuing after charter.

They were talking about staying in St Martin for a couple days after charter, not anything long term.

[Belowdeckchatter]

2 hours ago, ghoulina said:

That's what I'm thinking. She probably had no idea what a typical tip for a charter trip would be. 

The deck crew is 4, stews 3, and Mat for 8 person crew. The charter was 2 days? The tip was 15,000? That makes it 1,875 per person or $937.00 per day per person. I think that is a hell of a good tip.  Do you think the staff is worth more than a 1,000 dollars a day? Just to carry out some drinks and clean the toilet?

 

I think i would have bailed on that lame disco party also. If you are on a yacht why would you want to be shut up in a room for?

I think Kyle was right about confronting Jen's behavior. However, he should have waited until morning. I don't think it is productive to argue with a drunk person.

[dosodog]

That's a mediocre tip? $937 a day?  For THAT service?

There really is no justice. 

[ivygirl]

6 hours ago, ghoulina said:

I kind of loved Lee making all the crew tell the other sections what they're doing wrong. Sure, Kyle's only been there for 5 minutes, but he wasn't wrong. And, from watching all season, WE know that isn't the first time guests have woken up to no coffee, no stew, etc. Jen has overslept SEVERAL times. And then found it prudent to style her lame ass hair for another 10 minutes. She sucks. 

Kate was being generous when she said Jen hadn’t changed her hair in 10 years. My friend had that hairstyle in 1985. And it took her just as long.

[slaterain]

I assume the tip goes to the cap/and real boat staff too (those two guys we saw the first ep) perhaps? didn't he say it was more like $1500 each not $1800+

[Lizzing]

Yeah, it's an 11 person crew, including Lee and the other 2 off camera guys, that all get an equal share of the tip.  Still though, the point stands.  At $15,000 for 11 people, that's still $1,363 per person for about 48 hours of work, or $28.41 per hour (including sleep time) in just tip money.  Plus Bravo money.  Plus base salary.  I'm not crying in my drink over these "low" tips.

[emcmac87]

Seems like the charter guest was surprised about how the episode turned out. She's making multiple tweets about the editing, other stuff happened, and how wonderful Jen is. 

[ryebread]

18 hours ago, Real4real said:

Loved the stages of drunkenness per Kate!  "This is fun . . . I love you all . . . I REALLY love you all . . . I hate you all . . . I hate my life . . . I'm going to bed".  Lol!

Kate knows all about the stages of drunk.  Although, she forgot to share the one about getting behind the wheel of a car wasted, driving 77 in a 45 mph zone.  Failing all the field sobriety tests and blowing 2 times over the legal limit.  She was 17.  http://radaronline.com/celebrity-news/kate-chastain-dui-arrest-below-deck/

Table settings and stages of drunk, these things she knows.  She's a hypocrite calling these guests messy.  But on the other hand, the guests on the last charter who didn't drink, she made fun of them, too.  So, tell us, Kate:  What precisely is the perfect level of drunk for your taste?

3 hours ago, Belowdeckchatter said:

I think i would have bailed on that lame disco party also. If you are on a yacht why would you want to be shut up in a room for?

This! Lee looked so bored.  At dinner and at the 'disco', chin in hand, so bored.  I'm surprised he didn't make the effort to re-direct the guests to do something other than sit in that lame room.  Isn't redirecting and making sure the guests are entertained Kate's job?

[Lizzing]

2 hours ago, emcmac87 said:

Seems like the charter guest was surprised about how the episode turned out. She's making multiple tweets about the editing, other stuff happened, and how wonderful Jen is. 

Interesting! Can you share a link to the tweets?  I looked up her name (Shelly Snoddy) and all I could find was an account with a lot of political tweets.  TIA!

[emcmac87]

https://mobile.twitter.com/ShellyM98283122

There are political tweets too so that might have also been her account but if u scroll down a bit the Below Deck ones start. 

[stcroix]

She's also on Facebook.  I honestly thought she was a lot older than it appears now that I've looked at her fb posts and pictures.  On fb she also blamed the 'reality' show for how she comes off, like they wanted drama and she was giving it to them.  I don't think anyone can act that good!  She must be so embarrassed now that it's out there.