Small Talk: 90 Days Probation

[Lisin]

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[Lisin]

[Christina]

Many of the PTVers who will watch this show will have read my bitching about trash television becoming too scripted and so very obvious because the cast members can't act, so I won't repeat it here. When talking to my cousin about it tonight, I said that I should go on a reality show and I would take a few acting lessons so that the viewers will be laughing AT me for being stupid and not rolling their eyes over the obvious scripting just like in the old days, when we walked to school, five miles each direction, uphill both ways and covered in 16 inches of snow. 

That lead to what type of show I had a chance of becoming a cast member, and this one came to mind. If you all have a few minutes, please take a moment to scroll through these choices for my future spouse. I am a heterosexual female, but think I can pretend I'm marrying a woman if it will get me cast. There will also be a ridiculous break up, as soon as I can think of one, and the armchair psychologists will have a great time trying to decide which ICD-9 codes I belong to, which will be narcissistic personality syndrome at minimum, like all the other reality television attention whores.

I really, really, really hope this show is good, because almost all of my trash tv shows have turned to shit and become too boring to sit through.

[Drogo]

On 12/22/2017 at 6:40 AM, Christina said:

If you all have a few minutes, please take a moment to scroll through these choices for my future spouse.

This one, obvi. 

Is this even a competition?  He's clearly an expert beekeeper, a lost art.

[Guest]

This has always been among my favorite mug shots as I've convinced myself that Wile E Coyote dropped an ACME anvil on his head:

 

 

ETA: Also in the running:

 

[KnoxForPres]

On Daily Mail they posted Chris Watts (the one who murdered his wife and daughters) is getting multiple letters from women. They post some of the actual letters as well as some pics the women have sent (they block the eyes). 

I’d like to think people figure out who they are and they feel immense shame. But I’m not sure. Anyway- what a weird phenomenon.  He put his adorable innocent children in oil barrels and they’re professing love and offers of friendship.  

I can imagine Scott Peterson gets his fair share of love letters. What a world we live in. 

[cooksdelight]

On 1/8/2018 at 6:38 PM, Giant Misfit said:

ETA: Also in the running:

 

That’s Cornholio.

[Bridget]

In case no one knows about it yet, the best podcast EVER that covers this show, along with our beloved 90DF, is called “Love After Lockup Cray Cray.”  

The same hosts (Kim & Kyle) also have a podcast for 90 Day Fiancé as well. It’s called “90 Day Fiance Cray Cray” and not only are the hosts are hilarious, but they are both equal parts articulate and snarky.

Kyle is hysterical with his impressions and is the standout host for me.

[Pepper Mostly]

Guys, since so many of you in the 90 Day Fiance forum recommended this show, I started watching it last night on On Demand. WHERE HAVE I BEEN? How could I have been missing this extravaganza of crazy? Thank you all for this wonderful gift! I will be seeing you around this forum in days to come as I catch up. 

[Rt66vintage]

On 12/19/2018 at 4:56 PM, KnoxForPres said:

On Daily Mail they posted Chris Watts (the one who murdered his wife and daughters) is getting multiple letters from women. They post some of the actual letters as well as some pics the women have sent (they block the eyes). 

I’d like to think people figure out who they are and they feel immense shame. But I’m not sure. Anyway- what a weird phenomenon.  He put his adorable innocent children in oil barrels and they’re professing love and offers of friendship.  

I can imagine Scott Peterson gets his fair share of love letters. What a world we live in. 

There are still fan (?cult) sites for Ted Bundy as we speak. I don't understand the phenomenon either. 

[firefly]

Quote

On 12/30/2018 at 6:29 AM, Pepper Mostly said:

Guys, since so many of you in the 90 Day Fiance forum recommended this show, I started watching it last night on On Demand. WHERE HAVE I BEEN? How could I have been missing this extravaganza of crazy? Thank you all for this wonderful gift! I will be seeing you around this forum in days to come as I catch up. 

 

 

That’s the same reason I came here Pepper! Still get to see inappropriate wedding dress try-ons, disapproving family members, plus the bonus feature of possible parole violation.

[Pepper Mostly]

Good to see you over here, @firefly! I got caught up yesterday. This show is everything I ever dreamed. 

[firefly]

To top it all off, I live less than 10 miles away from Taycheedah, the women’s correctional facility here in Wisconsin!

[Reality police]

Welcome to the latest fans for this show! Hope you enjoy this s¿¡+ show as much as the rest of us crazies. 

@firefly, @Pepper Mostly

[Pepper Mostly]

I love this show with every fiber of my being. These folks are certifiable and I am here for every sweet, crazy second.

[firefly]

Thanks for the welcome! It’s great to be among like minded people who truly want to see these people do well. Who am I kidding? Bring on the train wrecks.

[sconstant]

On 12/19/2018 at 5:56 PM, KnoxForPres said:

On Daily Mail they posted Chris Watts (the one who murdered his wife and daughters) is getting multiple letters from women. They post some of the actual letters as well as some pics the women have sent (they block the eyes). 

I’d like to think people figure out who they are and they feel immense shame. But I’m not sure. Anyway- what a weird phenomenon.  He put his adorable innocent children in oil barrels and they’re professing love and offers of friendship.  

I can imagine Scott Peterson gets his fair share of love letters. What a world we live in. 

 

On 12/31/2018 at 2:02 PM, Rt66vintage said:

There are still fan (?cult) sites for Ted Bundy as we speak. I don't understand the phenomenon either. 

I kind of understand that some women are so  hurt and damaged that a guy who will never get out and who they "own" in a weird way that makes them special would be (or appear to be) a better option than "real-life" guys, who likely have consistently let them down in every way and probably many I can't imagine.  I think the women-in-love-with-an-incarcerated-man on this show (with the exception of Mary who actually knew the guy before) are less understandable - you get the fantasy of the perfect controlled guy, but they have to know, deep inside, that the wedding tiara and horse-drawn carriage time-bomb of "he will leave and we'll hug and sex and perfection and rainbows and be so happy" is going to end badly.

(Another 90 day refugee checking in here.)

[Reality police]

26 minutes ago, sconstant said:

 

I kind of understand that some women are so  hurt and damaged that a guy who will never get out and who they "own" in a weird way that makes them special would be (or appear to be) a better option than "real-life" guys, who likely have consistently let them down in every way and probably many I can't imagine.  I think the women-in-love-with-an-incarcerated-man on this show (with the exception of Mary who actually knew the guy before) are less understandable - you get the fantasy of the perfect controlled guy, but they have to know, deep inside, that the wedding tiara and horse-drawn carriage time-bomb of "he will leave and we'll hug and sex and perfection and rainbows and be so happy" is going to end badly.

(Another 90 day refugee checking in here.)

Once you check in you won't ever check out. Beware and welcome.

[PrincessPurrsALot]

A colleague announced today that he got engaged over the weekend.  There was some talk about how he paused when answering the question of how long they had been together; it was three years.  I of course chime in with, "Does that three years include any time in which one of you was incarcerated?  I just want to know if we can get you a gig on Love After Lockup." Nothing says "congratulations" like suggesting someone is marrying a felon they met online.  

[Marsupial]

Quote

Nothing says "congratulations" like suggesting someone is marrying a felon they met online.  

LOL I love it when common societal norms take a back seat  to our favorite trashy TV shows.

[MCMLXXVII]

New viewer here. Came across this at the gym on Wednesday looking for my usual Criminal Minds reruns and am totally obsessed. Catching up on season 1 now. This show is like a Christopher Guest comedy about people who date prisoners, but it’s real. Can’t. stop. watching.

[Reality police]

1 hour ago, MCMLXXVII said:

New viewer here. Came across this at the gym on Wednesday looking for my usual Criminal Minds reruns and am totally obsessed. Catching up on season 1 now. This show is like a Christopher Guest comedy about people who date prisoners, but it’s real. Can’t. stop. watching.

Welcome!

[Scout Finch]

On 1/8/2018 at 3:38 PM, Giant Misfit said:

This has always been among my favorite mug shots as I've convinced myself that Wile E Coyote dropped an ACME anvil on his head:

 

 

 

From the Don'tBeHisPet warning website: "Tried to give me a bath!!"

Edited February 3, 2019 by Scout Finch

[cooksdelight]

He was probably trying to scale the barbed wire fence to get out of prison.

[Rt66vintage]

I have a personal prison relationship story that happened when I was about 23 and single. It's embarrassing and no one in my family knows. I causally knew the man in question, that's to say we may have spent a weekend or more together. We drifted apart, as these things often do, and life went on for another 18 months or so.

I had my own apartment, a decent car and a full time job. One day at work a letter arrived personally addressed to me. I remembered the man and was kind of excited to read it.

The letter was postmarked from a prison called Tehachapi. It was short and sweet, and I wrote him back. I was still single. This is getting long and kinda hard. Need more mm. Should I continue? 

[JenE4]

3 minutes ago, Rt66vintage said:

I have a personal prison relationship story that happened when I was about 23 and single. It's embarrassing and no one in my family knows. I causally knew the man in question, that's to say we may have spent a weekend or more together. We drifted apart, as these things often do, and life went on for another 18 months or so.

I had my own apartment, a decent car and a full time job. One day at work a letter arrived personally addressed to me. I remembered the man and was kind of excited to read it.

The letter was postmarked from a prison called Tehachapi. It was short and sweet, and I wrote him back. I was still single. This is getting long and kinda hard. Need more mm. Should I continue? 

Hell yeah we want to hear more!

[Reality police]

WEt is showing a marathon today of LAL. It is so funny to watch these people when everyone is just getting out knowing what happens. Still can't believe they act this way. 

[cooksdelight]

There is a Facebook group about this show.... and today a woman posted that she thinks Matt’s sweet, Sarah is a great mother, and some other things which led a couple of people to ask her what show was she watching.

If you want to join, PM me your Facebook name and I’ll put it in. The circus monkeys are all there.

[Reality police]

Starcasm has a couple of new stories that are worth checking out. One on Sarah and one on Marcelino. 

[OoogleEyes]

OK, I don't know that this is the right place to talk about this, but I just binged the entire 1st season and am on S2E6. My hair dresser, as well as my Pounder pals, have recommended this. My comments are pretty much the same each episode. 

THESE PEOPLE ARE NUTS. 

How can someone, just released from prison, be expected to get a good job AS WELL AS buy a "one carat solitaire".  

Yeah,  Michael has a receding hairline.

I like Brittany, and I hope that she stands strong for herself. 

Yeah,  Tragic Roots was over charged. 

Edited March 2, 2019 by OoogleEyes

[OoogleEyes]

This is a perfect 'live chat' show 

[Friday]

On ‎12‎/‎30‎/‎2018 at 4:29 AM, Pepper Mostly said:

Guys, since so many of you in the 90 Day Fiance forum recommended this show, I started watching it last night on On Demand. WHERE HAVE I BEEN? How could I have been missing this extravaganza of crazy? Thank you all for this wonderful gift! I will be seeing you around this forum in days to come as I catch up. 

Me too; I binge watched all but one episode since Saturday morning.  This show is in a weird class by itself.  Up until now, My 600 Lb Life and Family By the Ton were my go-to shows, but this is truly tv gold.

[Friday]

Someday when I'm wined-up enough, I'll share my experience with a recently released (unbeknownst to me) man from Pelican Bay, which is known as the prison where the send the worst of the worst prisoners in California's prison system.  He was a classmate I'd known in my childhood (went through grade school and high school with him).  He contacted me when I signed up with Classmates.com.  I agreed to meet him for dinner in a town about 40 miles from where I live.  Met in front of a CVS I believe it was; didn't recognize him at all.  His gray pallor should have tipped me off.

That was a hugely massive lesson learned for me; nothing bad happened except for the fact that I got in car to head for some restaurant on the river, and NO ONE knew what I was doing that night.  

[DanaMB]

I just had to say I missed the show and snarking with you all last Friday! I was so excited it was Friday until I remembered the season is over. 
 

Cant wait until January. 😀

[goofygirl]

Well hell's bells DanaMB, I was COMPLETELY unaware and totally bummed out tonight with no damn show!  And now, to learn it's gonna be JANUARY before it comes back! Ouch!

[OoogleEyes]

When does this come back? I'm reduced to watching 60 Days In to get my prison fix

[Rt66vintage]

On 3/11/2019 at 6:09 PM, Friday said:

Someday when I'm wined-up enough, I'll share my experience with a recently released (unbeknownst to me) man from Pelican Bay, which is known as the prison where the send the worst of the worst prisoners in California's prison system.  He was a classmate I'd known in my childhood (went through grade school and high school with him).  He contacted me when I signed up with Classmates.com.  I agreed to meet him for dinner in a town about 40 miles from where I live.  Met in front of a CVS I believe it was; didn't recognize him at all.  His gray pallor should have tipped me off.

That was a hugely massive lesson learned for me; nothing bad happened except for the fact that I got in car to head for some restaurant on the river, and NO ONE knew what I was doing that night.  

I loved your opening paragraph. I had a similar experience in the 70s, when I was young & carefree. A cute ex-bf contacted me when he was in prison. We started writing & i sent occasional care packages. After release he stayed with me for maybe a month or two; nothing terrible happened, and our faux relationship quickly dwindled down to zero. 

@Friday, i hope you will pour yourself a few glasses of some good wine & tell us more about your experience with an old childhood friend. You said you had no idea he was an ex-prisoner and his gray pallor was surprising...

[JenE4]

19 hours ago, OoogleEyes said:

When does this come back? I'm reduced to watching 60 Days In to get my prison fix

It premiered last week! “Life After Lockup” rather than “Love...” They’re replaying the premiere tonight at 8 ET and then the new episode at 9 ET. Check your local listings, lol. 

Edited January 10, 2020 by JenE4

[Scout Finch]

I just had major incisional hernia repair on Wednesday and have been home since Friday night. I am really disappointed that my message on FB that I posted back then about needing people to come over for a few hours to help me with things, at least during the first week, went unanswered. 😞 I have a few Godiva truffles left over from a couple of weeks ago, so maybe it would make a difference if I put up a photo of me in my current condition of mismatched sleepware and messy hair from a half-assed hair clip attempt, with some partially-gnawed truffles in front of me!

What I really should be doing is staying off of here until I'm more healed because it hurts to laugh (and cough, and blow my nose, and cry). But, damn it, I need the humor, particularly at this time!

 

 

Edited March 10, 2020 by Scout Finch

[heatherchandler]

1 hour ago, Scout Finch said:

I just had major incisional hernia repair on Wednesday and have been home since Friday night. I am really disappointed that my message on FB about needing people to come over for a few hours to help me with things, at least during the first week, went unanswered. 😞 I have a few Godiva truffles left over from a couple of weeks ago, so maybe it would make a difference if I put up a photo of me in my current condition of mismatched sleepware and messy hair from a half-assed hair clip attempt, with some partially-gnawed truffles in front of me!!

 

What??  I’m sorry Scout!  That’s terrible that no one is offering to help.  Where do you live?  Is it on a remote mountain somewhere?

[Scout Finch]

Can. Not. Resist. Made myself laugh. OW!

 

Edited March 10, 2020 by Scout Finch

[Scout Finch]

6 minutes ago, heatherchandler said:

What??  I’m sorry Scout!  That’s terrible that no one is offering to help.  Where do you live?  Is it on a remote mountain somewhere?

I have a wonderful next door neighbor but I didn't want her to have to do everything. My new boss of two months has been my aftercare organizer/social secretary and contacting the few names I did give him and scheduling visits, LOL. The home health nurse comes tomorrow. Actually doing better than I thought I would when I posted that message.

[RealReality]

1 hour ago, Scout Finch said:

I just had major incisional hernia repair on Wednesday and have been home since Friday night. I am really disappointed that my message on FB about needing people to come over for a few hours to help me with things, at least during the first week, went unanswered. 😞 I have a few Godiva truffles left over from a couple of weeks ago, so maybe it would make a difference if I put up a photo of me in my current condition of mismatched sleepware and messy hair from a half-assed hair clip attempt, with some partially-gnawed truffles in front of me!

What I really should be doing is staying off of here until I'm more healed because it hurts to laugh (and cough, and blow my nose, and cry). But, damn it, I need the humor, particularly at this time!

 

 

That sucks.  I don't think you're close or at least I'd bring you some more truffles!  

Honestly, I don't check FB for ANYTHING and so those people you wanted to contact may just not have checked their messages.  Maybe it's wrong but I assume people will contact me on my phone if they need something.  

Also, everyone may be assuming that someone else is doing it so they aren't involving themselves.  

TL; DR - maybe you can call or text people?  Or the helpful people?

10 minutes ago, Scout Finch said:

Can. Not. Resist. Made myself laugh. OW!

 

You still look fresher than Angela.  

[sempervivum]

Aw, best wishes for a speedy recovery, Scout Finch. 

[Ijustwantsomechips]

13 hours ago, Scout Finch said:

I just had major incisional hernia repair on Wednesday and have been home since Friday night. I am really disappointed that my message on FB that I posted back then about needing people to come over for a few hours to help me with things, at least during the first week, went unanswered. 😞 I have a few Godiva truffles left over from a couple of weeks ago, so maybe it would make a difference if I put up a photo of me in my current condition of mismatched sleepware and messy hair from a half-assed hair clip attempt, with some partially-gnawed truffles in front of me!

What I really should be doing is staying off of here until I'm more healed because it hurts to laugh (and cough, and blow my nose, and cry). But, damn it, I need the humor, particularly at this time!

 

 

Awww @Scout Finch if I was close by (and knew who you were and where you lived and all that jazz) I’d bring you some homemade chicken soup and tidy up for you. Surgery recovery sucks, as do flaky folks who don’t come through when you need them. Hope you feel better soon. 

[Scout Finch]

1 hour ago, Ijustwantsomechips said:

Awww @Scout Finch if I was close by (and knew who you were and where you lived and all that jazz) I’d bring you some homemade chicken soup and tidy up for you. Surgery recovery sucks, as do flaky folks who don’t come through when you need them. Hope you feel better soon. 

I'm in the Pacific Northwest. I'll preface one of the most now-funny sad moments by explaining that I had surgery for diverticulitis/peritonitis in Nov. 2017, and then in August 2018 I had surgery to reverse the temporary colostomy bag I'd had while things healed. (My hernia happened because my abdominal walls are too thin. Go figure!) Anyway, during the 2018 surgery they aspirated me accidentally and I got pneumonia and had to be on oxygen at home for a month. The most pathetic moment was my 55th birthday, when the only acknowledgment was the home health nurse bringing me a cupcake and a card, and my aunt calling a casual friend who lived near me to basically make a pity visit and bring me a little cake and some flowers that my aunt sent her money for, LOL! My mom also had what date the day was wrong and thought it was the next day, so I called her sniffling that night, "did you forget?!"

I am especially grateful for this site during the hard times because it gives me life with so much needed humor! As well as some forums being gateways to even worse shows. 90 Day Fiance>Love After Lockup. Damn you!

 

[Mothra]

22 hours ago, Darlabutterfly said:

 

Don't know how to get rid of this ^

Over on the live chat, the topic of Princess Toast came up again.  If you are a fan of Adventure Time, you know Toast Princess:

This is her sister, Breakfast Princess: 

Hope this helps.

[PrincessPurrsALot]

29 minutes ago, Mothra said:

A million years ago I was involved with a usenet group about true-crime, and one segment of the group believed that people who committed terrible crimes had some kind of trauma or abuse in childhood, usually courtesy of mama, to turn out the way they did.  They all had good manners and were seemingly lovely, polite people, but they'd just as soon cut your throat as look at you.

One of the participants in the group was a woman who was the "girlfriend," later "wife," of Danny Rolling aka the Gainesville Slasher, and through her I was able to exchange a few emails with him.  This guy's crimes were grotesque, but he was the kindest, most polite person you'd ever want to correspond with.  Under other circumstances, I'd have been happy to have him meet my parents.

I had a coworker who had carpooled with Ted Bundy at his previous job.  He said Ted was a great carpool person - always ready on time, pleasant conversationalist, helpful. Of course, he later learned about the killings and his view of Ted changed dramatically. 😳  Some criminals really do know how to charm people.  I've always loved the line from one of the Addams Family movies in which Wednesday, who is dressed exactly as she normally does, explains her Halloween costume is a serial killer "because they look just like everyone else".   

Years back I met a man who had done a long prison stint for murder.  His was the opposite case.  Horrible thing he did in his youth, caught up in gangs, etc.  He really turned his life around when he got out.  He is a writer and public speaker who also holds down a full time job.  He had sense enough to get himself together before looking for a relationship and subsequently raised two wonderful children.  He truly wanted to be a role model to his community and his children and did just that.  

[hookedontv]

23 hours ago, Mothra said:

One of the participants in the group was a woman who was the "girlfriend," later "wife," of Danny Rolling aka the Gainesville Slasher, and through her I was able to exchange a few emails with him.  This guy's crimes were grotesque, but he was the kindest, most polite person you'd ever want to correspond with.  Under other circumstances, I'd have been happy to have him meet my parents.

Whoa. You exchanged emails with the Gainsville Ripper. Yikes. The crimes were grotesque indeed. Wow. 

Didn't he stand up on court and turned around and sang to this woman? 

[Mothra]

1 hour ago, hookedontv said:

Whoa. You exchanged emails with the Gainsville Ripper. Yikes. The crimes were grotesque indeed. Wow. 

Didn't he stand up on court and turned around and sang to this woman? 

That's the guy!  As I recall, that was how he proposed to her.  Her name was Sondra something, and she was a true-crime writer--there were several well-known true-crime authors in the group, who were very generous with their time and attention to us amateurs.

I kept asking Danny about how he was brought up, and he was not willing to talk about it.  He did tell me that while his *body* committed the crimes, it was being directed by an entity he called "Gemini" over whom he had no control.

The most interesting thing he said to me was that the guy Paul Something, who had murdered an abortion doctor, and was also there on death row in FL, drove the other inmates crazy because he wouldn't shut up about how scared he was of dying.  The other prisoners felt honor in facing death stoically, "like a man," and in their minds, Paul was not worthy of their company.