The Lonely Js Club: Jason, James, Jackson & Johannah

[Temperance]

JD's being single is less unusual to me in terms of their culture. It seems much harder to find a young woman to marry into this group.  Both the Duggars and the Bates start courting as young as 18 (!). Of the Duggars 18 and older: (4/5) girls (80%) are married , (2/6) boys (33.33%) are married (and granted the twin boys are a little young). Of the Bates family, all the girls 18 and over are courting or engaged or married (6/6) (100%) and (1/4)(25%) out of the four boys is married with none of them courting.  There have also been two broken courtships with the boys, and no publicly broken courtships among the girls. This quiverfull lifestyle seems very tough for everyone, but particularly the woman. It makes sense to me it's harder to find people willing to handover a daughter. 

Jana may want to be single. I'm hoping it's because she wants to be. It also may be luck or just the way things played out. Being the only single daughter over 18, probably increases the pressure. I just hope she able to make the best of possibly limited options. 

(Thanks to Wikipedia, where I checked my information about the Bates and Duggar adult children.)

Edited October 14, 2017 by Temperance

[Scarlett45]

On 10/14/2017 at 5:35 AM, floridamom said:

Jana doesn't seem to have any personal opinion about anything. She was trained up to believe whatever her father decides is the Godly, right thing, no matter what the situation. I think she has no bad opinion about how Jim Bob and Michelle handled the "Josh" situation at all.  She's at home because that's what she's allowed to do..just stay at home, continue her chores and responsibilities until daddy tells her he has 'the guy for her' to court. I don't understand why she and John David aren't married with 5 children apiece already. It goes against their beliefs to have them still single. Something is up with those two, but I can't figure it out. Their parents are tight lipped about that situation and it's curious as to why.

I don't think so. Jana spoke before the scandals came out (when she spent time going to Journey to the Heart) that she really struggled with forgiving certain family members (we all now know that meant Josh). Jana may want to be at home, or she may want to be married, BUT I believe Jana loves her younger siblings as if they were her own kids and takes her responsibilities towards them seriously. Josh was the "prince" who could do no wrong etc, but as the next oldest Jana and Jd basically ran the home and remember all of the horrors of the pre-TLC days.......

 

I think Jana has a LOT of opinions about her family. 

[floridamom]

Jana surely doesn't speak about anything now. It's been a while since she actually answered a real question on the show. She half smiles, her eyes go off to the left and shrugs her head. She gives a non-answer most of the time. She had absolutely NO IDEA what her life would be like in 5 years...she would have been 30 yrs old when asked. No response to what HER aspirations would be...nothing. I think her parents corrected her about speaking out on TV and she got the message.

[lascuba]

Jana has never spoken about anything. The bit about having trouble forgiving a family member was a one time thing on a fundie radio show. She's always been vague in front of the TLC cameras. She doesn't like being filmed and her way of dealing has always been to not be herself--whatever that self is--on camera.

As rigid and fake as the whole family is, everyone else still has a personality that shines through their talking points. It takes effort to give the impression that one has no distinguishing characteristics whatsoever after years of being filmed.

Or maybe Jana really is just a big blank in terms of personality. 

[Jeanne222]

On 10/3/2017 at 11:39 AM, drafan said:

Wasn't that Anna's punishment area while Joshley was in Jesus Jail?

Jesus Jail...now that one gave me a chuckle.

[ariel]

Maybe Jana is gay.  For someone living the Gothard culture that has to suck.  I hope she can find her happiness.

[Absolom]

I hope none of the Duggars read here.

[MsJamieDornan]

On ‎10‎/‎16‎/‎2017 at 2:24 PM, lascuba said:

Or maybe Jana really is just a big blank in terms of personality

I think that might be it.

[lascuba]

4 hours ago, MsJamieDornan said:

I think that might be it.

Either that, or she's a raging bitch. I'm going to laugh the day "beautiful on the inside" Jana let's loose with some Derick-level bullshit.

[Teriyaki Terror]

On 10/3/2017 at 11:09 AM, Lunera said:

In the latest episode I noticed in the girls room there is a nook with a full sized bed and a curtain for privacy. I wonder if that's Jana's area, if so that's incredibly sad. I wish they'd build her one of those tiny living houses in the backyard. 

 

I wish she'd move out and get an apartment. She's almost 30! RUN JANA!

11 hours ago, Absolom said:

I hope none of the Duggars read here.

None of the Duggars know how to read anything other than the Bible.

[Fostersmom]

On 10/6/2017 at 5:19 PM, Arwen Evenstar said:

Yes. For me too. It always conjures up the image of someone with a machete 

For me, hacking brings to mind either a disgusting cough (hacking up a lung) or the noise my cat makes when he's got a fur ball. 

I'm torn on Jana leaving. Obviously I'd like to see her living her own life and happy, but now that all the older sisters have left, I shudder to think of Johannah having to step up and be in charge of the house and all of it's members. You know the older boys, or god forbid Michelle, aren't going to do it. I personally think Jana's been sacrificing herself for years to allow all those younger than her to have a chance to live as full of a life as they can. 

[Arwen Evenstar]

On 10/19/2017 at 10:06 AM, Teriyaki Terror said:

None of the Duggars know how to read anything other than the Bible.

Even then, they don’t know how to read it in context,  nor do they understand history or archaeology.

[Churchhoney]

On 10/19/2017 at 3:52 AM, MsJamieDornan said:

I think that might be it.

And yet another option.....Maybe she just isn't a person who wants to express her personal opinions -- whatever they may be -- on public media. I'm pretty talkative in real life, but I have a feeling that I'd probably say very little if I knew it was going to be televised. I expect there are a fair number of people like that. You think of a million-plus people hearing the kind of casual conversational remarks you make around the house and -- yikes -- not saying that stuff for national consumption. 

[Jeanne222]

I like Jana and I like the way she says very little but does quite a bit.  Looking at her little garden and shed and how she treats everybody so respectfully I think they all have a lot to gain from Jana.  I wish her nothing but the best.  If she want to marry so be it.  If not..matters not.  It's her life.

[BitterApple]

I want to like Jana, but she's such a doormat. She lets herself be bullied and bossed around by her sisters and I think she's going to become a powder keg of resentment if she doesn't get the hell out of that house soon. I know happiness doesn't depend on having a man in your life, but I wish an awesome guy would come around, court her and teach her to stand up for herself. Or she needs a big-mouthed friend like me who'd have no problem telling Jill or Jessa to piss off when they make their demands.

[lookeyloo]

The parents send the kids to Jana when they need something and the kids have indicated that Jana is the disciplinarian.  For whatever she presents to the cameras for the few minutes we see her, maybe she is really a drill sergeant kind of person and likes her role.  She is a mystery for sure.

[ariel]

On ‎10‎/‎22‎/‎2017 at 11:28 AM, BitterApple said:

 I know happiness doesn't depend on having a man in your life, but I wish an awesome guy would come around, court her and teach her to stand up for herself. Or she needs a big-mouthed friend like me who'd have no problem telling Jill or Jessa to piss off when they make their demands.

Peppermint Patty (Peanuts) can do the job &  run off with her & find happiness & independence.

[Arwen Evenstar]

3 hours ago, ariel said:

Peppermint Patty (Peanuts) can do the job &  run off with her & find happiness & independence.

I’m sure Peppermint Patty was digging Jana’s Birkenstocks. 

[RedheadZombie]

On ‎10‎/‎22‎/‎2017 at 3:37 PM, lookeyloo said:

The parents send the kids to Jana when they need something and the kids have indicated that Jana is the disciplinarian.  For whatever she presents to the cameras for the few minutes we see her, maybe she is really a drill sergeant kind of person and likes her role.  She is a mystery for sure.

I'm not sure that makes her a drill sergeant.  I think the children obey Jana because she is the mother.  Don't they run to her for comfort?  It didn't seem like Jana was enjoying the role when she was tearfully handling Josie's two medical emergencies filmed, while the bio parents were off doing everything but, you know, parenting.

[lookeyloo]

7 hours ago, RedheadZombie said:

I'm not sure that makes her a drill sergeant.  I think the children obey Jana because she is the mother.  Don't they run to her for comfort?  It didn't seem like Jana was enjoying the role when she was tearfully handling Josie's two medical emergencies filmed, while the bio parents were off doing everything but, you know, parenting.

Yes of course. I meant that we don't really know her from the nothing she reveals on the show.  A mystery at least in my opinion. 

[lookeyloo]

7 hours ago, RedheadZombie said:

I'm not sure that makes her a drill sergeant.  I think the children obey Jana because she is the mother.  Don't they run to her for comfort?  It didn't seem like Jana was enjoying the role when she was tearfully handling Josie's two medical emergencies filmed, while the bio parents were off doing everything but, you know, parenting.

Yes of course. I meant that we don't really know her from the nothing she reveals on the show.  A mystery at least in my opinion. 

[MsJamieDornan]

On ‎10‎/‎22‎/‎2017 at 10:09 AM, Jeanne222 said:

If she want to marry so be it.  If not..matters not.  It's her life.

You're absolutely correct. But she needs to get out of that damn house an go on her own.

[GleamingMist]

https://www.thehollywoodgossip.com/2017/10/caleb-williams-jana-duggars-rebel-boyfriend-hangs-out-with-jim-b/

 

A friend shared this with me.  I did check out his Instagram page and there are a lot of pics of him at the Duggar house, posing with Duggar babies and making food in their kitchen.  Pretty much every pic is Duggar related.  And he also hasn't denied any rumour of dating Jana like the other guy did.  Wishful thinking on my part probably but guess we will see.

[Triple P]

43 minutes ago, GleamingMist said:

https://www.thehollywoodgossip.com/2017/10/caleb-williams-jana-duggars-rebel-boyfriend-hangs-out-with-jim-b/

 

A friend shared this with me.  I did check out his Instagram page and there are a lot of pics of him at the Duggar house, posing with Duggar babies and making food in their kitchen.  Pretty much every pic is Duggar related.  And he also hasn't denied any rumour of dating Jana like the other guy did.  Wishful thinking on my part probably but guess we will see.

Shallow alert!

He vaguely resembles Derick in my opinion. Hopefully only in looks and not personality.

[Catlyn]

28 minutes ago, Triple P said:

Shallow alert!

He vaguely resembles Derick in my opinion. Hopefully only in looks and not personality.

I thought he had nice eyes...

[BitterApple]

Oh my word, noooooo!!!!! Caleb looks like a mashup of Derrick and Josh. That is so creepy that all these girls, with the exception of Jinger, have married guys who look like they could be their brothers or first cousins. 

[JocelynCavanaugh]

Yeah something about his looks really bothers me. I don't want to be mean, but Jana is way out of his league... but that alone wouldn't bug me too much. It's some other intangible quality that's not sitting right. He seems fake, or shady? All just based on those photos and captions, of course.* If I were Jana I wouldn't be too crazy about a guy who was buddy-buddy with Josh, of all people. Gross. 

*Don't @ me. I know. 

[Mya]

Any idea how old this guy is? Not at all how I would picture someone with Jana.  That is if the rumour is true.

[bigskygirl]

If he is fake and shady, he will fit in well with Josh, JB, Dwerp, Ben and Jeremy. Birds of a feather flocks together!!!

[Lunera]

How come this guy is hanging out with the Duggars so much lately? He seems like another Duggar/fundie fanboy. I checked his Instagram and he only follows Duggars, Bates, and the Gaines, no family or friends. I hope they aren't pinning him towards Jana.

Also, Joshley was recently a groomsmen at Caleb's brother's wedding.

Edited October 28, 2017 by Lunera

[RedheadZombie]

5 hours ago, GleamingMist said:

https://www.thehollywoodgossip.com/2017/10/caleb-williams-jana-duggars-rebel-boyfriend-hangs-out-with-jim-b/

 

A friend shared this with me.  I did check out his Instagram page and there are a lot of pics of him at the Duggar house, posing with Duggar babies and making food in their kitchen.  Pretty much every pic is Duggar related.  And he also hasn't denied any rumour of dating Jana like the other guy did.  Wishful thinking on my part probably but guess we will see.

I agree with you.  How common is it that a male "friend of the family" spends so much time hanging out with Duggars?   They have got to be the most boring people on earth, and it doesn't seem like he's visiting with other family.  He's there for a reason.  And you're right, he's denied nothing.  He seems to have a good sense of humor, isn't a teenager, or an anal rapist - high marks so far with this crowd.

[Churchhoney]

1 hour ago, Lunera said:

 I checked his Instagram and he only follows Duggars, Bates, and the Gaines, no family or friends.

So his entire set of interests in life can be summed up as -- conservative Christian reality-tv show people? 

Well, doesn't that sound ... bizarre and creepy.... or something. ... 

Wonder if he cherishes a-job-in-fundie-religion dream, too, like Der, Bin and Jer. Jana said she didn't want one of those. But it's kind of hard to see what other kind of ulterior motive would draw a guy toward the Duggar women. 

Edited October 28, 2017 by Churchhoney

[RedheadZombie]

8 minutes ago, Lunera said:

How come this guy is hanging out withnthe Duggars so much lately? He seemsnlike another Duggar/fundie fanboy. I checked his Instagram and he only follows Duggars, Bates, and the Gaines, no family or friends. I hope they aren't pinning him towards Jana.

Also, Joshley was recently a groomsmen at Caleb's brother's wedding.

Can he be called a fanboy when he's known the family for years?  It's not like he's Derek, Jeremy, or Ben, drawn to the family once they became famous.  And if he's known Josh since they were kids, it would make sense that their families are intermingled.  I hate to say this, but there is a pedophile in my family.  No one is pleased with his history, no one makes excuses for him, and we all accept that this isn't "curable", but no one's burned him at the stake.  He still intermingles with many of his aunts and uncles, and even some friends.  It's not like Caleb has young female children he's asking Josh to babysit.

If he's courting Jana (who knows?) it would explain the time he spends with her family.  Maybe he was holding Josh's baby because Jana is being rented out there as a nanny.  Maybe he has a private and personal facebook account?  I don't know.  But I want to feel good about something in this family, and I like Jana.  Unless I'm given more evidence, I'm going with the thought that this is what Jana wants, and she's thoroughly vetting him before picking him.  She can't do worse than her sisters or SIL (I'm one who thinks Jeremy is no prize).  And hopefully she has chaperones just as lax as Jinger's, and she can experiment a little with sexual chemistry before signing up with this guy.  

[Churchhoney]

So ... is there any evidence that he's hanging around because of and/or with Jana?

Why couldn't he just be an old friend of Josh's who now hangs out with Josh, Josh's wife, Josh's kids, and Josh's dad, etc.? ..... 

[GleamingMist]

No evidence, at this point just speculation. 

To me it just seems fishy that he would constantly be around the family, making dinners at their house etc.  I've never seen that before to the best of my memory and I have (sadly) been watching Duggars since their first special.  He could totally just be hanging around spending time with Josh and the family, but that seems weird to me.  Special events yes, but this guy seems to be hanging around weekly.  Guess we will see in the next few weeks if anything is going to come of this.

[Arwen Evenstar]

But, I DID notice that Jana had a bit more of a glow about her during the JoKen wedding episode. Maybe something is up.  It’s a done deal by the time we even hear about it.

[Fostersmom]

He has crazy eyes. 

[mynextmistake]

8 hours ago, Mya said:

Any idea how old this guy is? Not at all how I would picture someone with Jana.  That is if the rumour is true.

That was my first question... he looks about 20. Not sure that would make him a good match for almost 30-year-old Jana. 

Of course, it would be next to impossible to find an unhitched fundie guy Jana's age who isn't in some way repulsive, I guess. What's up with Lawson Bates? Isn't he about Jana's age and still single?

Edited October 29, 2017 by mynextmistake

[Scarlett45]

3 minutes ago, mynextmistake said:

That was my first question... he looks about 20. Not sure that would make him a good match for almost 30-year-old Jana. 

Of course, it would be next to impossible to find an unhitched fundie guy Jana's age who isn't in some way repulsive, I guess. What's up with Lawson Bates? Isn't he about Jana's age and still single?

I looked at pictures of the guy, he didn’t seem repulsive or super young to me. He looks mid-20s.....I think he’s WAY better looking than Derrick and he only looks like Josh because he has a fuller face (which I think he’d probably have no matter how much he weighed- it’s just his face shape). 

[awaken]

Ew. No. I don't see Jana with him at all. I hope he's just a family friend.  Too much like josh. 

[mynextmistake]

3 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

I looked at pictures of the guy, he didn’t seem repulsive or super young to me. He looks mid-20s.....I think he’s WAY better looking than Derrick and he only looks like Josh because he has a fuller face (which I think he’d probably have no matter how much he weighed- it’s just his face shape). 

Oh, I didn't think he was repulsive at all. I was saying that any single fundie guy Jana's age would probably be in some way repulsive, because otherwise he would be married already. It seems like acceptable grooms are harder to come by than acceptable brides, probably because the groom has to be able to take on headship responsibilities and all the bride has to do is obey her headship and shoot a baby out of her hoo-ha once a year.

[Scarlett45]

4 hours ago, RedheadZombie said:

Can he be called a fanboy when he's known the family for years?  It's not like he's Derek, Jeremy, or Ben, drawn to the family once they became famous.  And if he's known Josh since they were kids, it would make sense that their families are intermingled.  I hate to say this, but there is a pedophile in my family.  No one is pleased with his history, no one makes excuses for him, and we all accept that this isn't "curable", but no one's burned him at the stake.  He still intermingles with many of his aunts and uncles, and even some friends.  It's not like Caleb has young female children he's asking Josh to babysit.

If he's courting Jana (who knows?) it would explain the time he spends with her family.  Maybe he was holding Josh's baby because Jana is being rented out there as a nanny.  Maybe he has a private and personal facebook account?  I don't know.  But I want to feel good about something in this family, and I like Jana.  Unless I'm given more evidence, I'm going with the thought that this is what Jana wants, and she's thoroughly vetting him before picking him.  She can't do worse than her sisters or SIL (I'm one who thinks Jeremy is no prize).  And hopefully she has chaperones just as lax as Jinger's, and she can experiment a little with sexual chemistry before signing up with this guy.  

Caleb isn’t to blame for Josh’s crimes. I would hope that if Caleb likes Jana he wouldn’t hesitate to pursue that because of Josh. Perhaps he is hanging around more in a “get to know you” period with Jana- we can only speculate at this point. 

3 minutes ago, mynextmistake said:

Oh, I didn't think he was repulsive at all. I was saying that any single fundie guy Jana's age would probably be in some way repulsive, because otherwise he would be married already. It seems like acceptable grooms are harder to come by than acceptable brides, probably because the groom has to be able to take on headship responsibilities and all the bride has to do is obey her headship and shoot a baby out of her hoo-ha once a year.

Oh I see I misunderstood. 

If Jana wants to marry I think her best bet is a conservative evangelical like Jeremy, would be more likely to actually support a wife and more mature than the fundy man children she comes across. 

[kokapetl]

Is Caleb the muffin topping guy?

[floridamom]

Jana is 27..if she waits much longer to marry, what will her choices consist of? Some 40 year old "old man" who's already been married, widowed and has 15 children already? This woman needs to step up to the plate in the ways that she can and THINK about her future. Her parents are doing her no real favors. Her mother simply continues to take advantage of her.

[kokapetl]

37 minutes ago, floridamom said:

Jana is 27..if she waits much longer to marry, what will her choices consist of? Some 40 year old "old man" who's already been married, widowed and has 15 children already? This woman needs to step up to the plate in the ways that she can and THINK about her future. Her parents are doing her no real favors. Her mother simply continues to take advantage of her.

Sex offenders....

[GeeGolly]

Does anyone else wish they really knew what Jana wants? Is she (& maybe JD) purposely holding off on marriage to avoid having a litter of children? Is she holding out for the 'right guy'? Is she struggling with her sexual orientation due to her religion? Does she want to remain single? 

And who is she? Is she quiet and shy? A follower? An authoritarian sister-mom? A questioner of her faith?

If she wants to be married, maybe once Tori, Carlin and Josie Bates are married she can be farmed out to Tennessee to help with the Bates children. There seems to be a larger crop of Fundy men there.

[Triple P]

3 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

If she wants to be married, maybe once Tori, Carlin and Josie Bates are married she can be farmed out to Tennessee to help with the Bates children. There seems to be a larger crop of Fundy men there.

I thought almost all of the Bates girls married out-of-state men? Brandon is from Wisconsin or Michigan, Chad is from Oklahoma, John is from Florida, and I think Bobby is from Florida too. Not sure about Evan and Josie's intended. 

That said, helping with Bates children would probably allow her to meet more men, Tennessean or otherwise, based on the Bates girls' romantic success.

[GeeGolly]

1 hour ago, Triple P said:

I thought almost all of the Bates girls married out-of-state men? Brandon is from Wisconsin or Michigan, Chad is from Oklahoma, John is from Florida, and I think Bobby is from Florida too. Not sure about Evan and Josie's intended. 

That said, helping with Bates children would probably allow her to meet more men, Tennessean or otherwise, based on the Bates girls' romantic success.

Good point. I wonder how it is they meet these boys?

[Churchhoney]

1 hour ago, GeeGolly said:

Good point. I wonder how it is they meet these boys?

Dunno. But Chad is Gothard, and I think that John and Brandon are, too? If so, maybe that tells us something about the attitude of the Gothard community toward the Duggars?  Cause, uh, the Bates scored at least three fairly influential Gothard families for their daughters and JB has scored ... none? 

Edited October 29, 2017 by Churchhoney

[DangerousMinds]

4 hours ago, Triple P said:

I thought almost all of the Bates girls married out-of-state men? Brandon is from Wisconsin or Michigan, Chad is from Oklahoma, John is from Florida, and I think Bobby is from Florida too. Not sure about Evan and Josie's intended. 

That said, helping with Bates children would probably allow her to meet more men, Tennessean or otherwise, based on the Bates girls' romantic success.

I'm not sure I'd call them all romantic "successes." They simply found men willing to marry, that's it.

2 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Good point. I wonder how it is they meet these boys?

They do allow their daughters to attend "college," such that it is, so they are able to meet men there, unless the Duggar daughters.