The Lonely Js Club: James, Jackson & Johannah

[SpaghettiTuesdays]

On 4/3/2014 at 9:07 PM, lanorigb said:

I liked Ben...I actually thought he was too nice for Jessa. And dang, those girls are huge fans of bronzer! I feel so bad for poor Jana. She is so pretty and sweet; I really do hope she finds a husband so she can get away from her terrible parents.

I'm a big Jana fan. Well, maybe fan is the wrong term. I want to be her BFF and talk to her about Thai food and help her pick out clothes she wants to wear and take her to a night club, only we'll end up a Barnes and Noble because we're both actually shy and I'll introduce her to some of my favorite, non-fundie books.

[MrMattyMatt]

Well, at least Jana isn't being handed over to anyone.  Who knows maybe there have been men that "daddy" thinks are the right ones and she turned him down.  

Also, does Joy seem to have a very slight speech impediment?

[all4mom]

I don't think they can spare Jana, at least not unless and until Joyless Anna gets control over the howlers.  Did we skip Jinger, or is she now in charge of packing or something?  Poor Jana is being held captive for childcare purposes, I'm afraid!  Heaven forbid Mullett take over.  Oh, wait; she suffered through a chess lesson with one of the older boys.  He's cute, by the way!  Yes, I sound like Jackson now.

Edited April 9, 2014 by all4mom

[Jenniferbug]

I hope that maybe one of Derick's friends will meet and take a liking to Jana. 

[all4mom]

Is that adorable Bates boy with the failed courtship still available?  But I guess if he were going to fall for Jana, he'd have done it by now.

[CindyBee]

 

I hope that maybe one of Derick's friends will meet and take a liking to Jana.

I think that's Jana's best hope at this point that once Jill & Derrick set up a home that she'll have a chance to meet friends/coworkers of Derrick's.   Its probably her only hope at this point.  

[floridamom]

I wish Jana would address her demeanor lately. If JB did actually bring some guys to her and she rejected them, I wish she would say so and why she would not want to give any of them a chance. (without putting these guys down, just give her perspective on it.)

[SpaghettiTuesdays]

Isn't Derick older than Jill? If Jana does meet, court, and marry a friend of his, maybe they'll be similar in age and life disposition? I hope so. Poor Jana. I think she would really make the right man happy and maybe that man will make her happy.

[lexington11]

I also hope that Derick has a friend/relative/co worker that would be interested in Jana, because the poor girl needs to be freed ASAP from her role as sister mom, and find a guy that hopefully doesn't mind waiting two or three years before wanting babies.

[DangerousMinds]

Has Jans ever spoken about wanting to get married? What if she's just not interested right now. I hope she finds something to do away from the family and can eventually escape.

[lexington11]

I don't think she's ever spoken about it, but as that seems to be the only parentally approved way for the girls to fly the coop, then that's her best choice at the moment.

[Rhondinella]

I sense we need a thread in which to lament over poor Jana, who has made it to the ripe old age of 24 without finding a man. Horrors!!

[Absolom]

Zach, "that Bates boy," married Whitney in December and they are already expecting.

[wanderwoman]

I really want to see Jana be happy.  Period.  At this point, she's had to endure this crap the longest (even Josh got out at 20) and you can tell that, while she talks the talk, she hasn't completely given up a la' Sarah Maxwell.  I really hope that Jana isn't the next Mrs. MAXWELL, because we all know Steve Maxwell would love to latch on to that publicity.  I want Jana to be happy after raising her mom's children.  She better get a mother's day gift from JChelle.

Edited May 1, 2014 by maraleia
spelling

[MunichNark]

First of all, whoooohoo, I can finally log in. Have been a long time lurker over at TWOP and need my daily dose of snarking....

 

I'm not in the US so have to watch whatever is available on You Tube, so am lagging behind somewhat, however, I feel so terribly sorry for poor Jana. She's wasted her entire life raising those bratty kids so far, with no appreciation from her lazy parents. I so wish she would get the hell out of that compound.

[MrMattyMatt]

I think they are saving Jana for some sort of cult royalty or something. 

[wanderwoman]

I hope not.

[roamyn]

Part of me hopes not, either wanderwoman. But part of me also hopes it happens soon so she raise her own damn kids, and not her parents kids.

Edited May 1, 2014 by roamyn

[Ivy26]

Zach, "that Bates boy," married Whitney in December and they are already expecting.

 

What about Lawson?  He's cute

[smittykins]

Part of me hopes not, either wanderwoman. But part of me also hopes it happens soon so she raise her own damn kids, and not her parents kids.

Actually, if I were Jana, if I were to get married, I'd go on the pill on the downlow while spouting the party line about "leaving it up to God," and when people ask why I'm not pregnant right away, I'd just say, "Well, I guess He hasn't opened my womb yet."  After spending much of her life raising her brothers and sisters, I'm sure she won't want her own children for awhile.

[Bella]

 

After spending much of her life raising her brothers and sisters, I'm sure she won't want her own children for awhile.

 

Yeah, I've seen that happen. A friend's mom died when the friend was 14 and had 4 younger siblings, whom she largely raised from that point on (the dad was still in the picture but worked long hours since they went from a 2-income home to a 1-income home). When she accidentally got pregnant in her late 30s, she was hopping mad! Absolutely furious with herself and her husband and the world, etc., etc., etc. She was a great mother to her kid, but she felt she'd mothered enough for a lifetime already.

 

So Jana, if she ever gets out of that house and isn't, in fact, the designated maiden-aunt-for-life, could very plausibly feel the same way.

[LazyToaster]

I think she would have to go a long way away from home to be able to get a prescription for any kind of birth control and not have it broadcast and/or reported to family.

[DangerousMinds]

All medical providers are bound by HIPAA laws, making it illegal for them to share confidential health/medical information with anyone without a patient's explicit consent.

[Sew Sumi]

Actually, if I were Jana, if I were to get married, I'd go on the pill on the downlow while spouting the party line about "leaving it up to God," and when people ask why I'm not pregnant right away, I'd just say, "Well, I guess He hasn't opened my womb yet."  After spending much of her life raising her brothers and sisters, I'm sure she won't want her own children for awhile.

That won't happen unless she totally breaks free of the cult mentality. She's had the J'Caleb story pounded into her head since she was old enough to understand words, and being one of the "miracle twins" that came after the miscarriage, I think the pressure from the pro-life crowd is even more intense. That's why she'd have to break free and get some real education about the Pill before she'd ever use it.

[floridamom]

Boy, oh boy, I just love the title of this page... "old maid".. I haven't heard that one in a long time, sadly, it may be true for Jana. If it is indeed her parents that are holding her back from moving on in life, they should be ashamed of themselves, if it's Jana who is doing that, she should say so. I can't imagine that she isn't "dreaming of Prince

Charming" coming along to marry her since that has been drilled into her as being her first purpose as a female in this world and would be ultimately more pleasing to God..If she's waiting for God on this matter, the old saying goes, " If you expect God to guide you steps in life, you must be willing to move your feet". Jana isn't dancing. She's on TV, yes, but that doesn't necessarily bring "dad approved grooms" for her. Something is up with Jana.. don't know what that is. Would like to know! I think they all look better with straight hair, and they should ditch those banana curls. Take off a few inches, too, it would be healthier for their hair.

[Ivy26]

Honestly with that family, I would wear old maid like a badge of honor!

 

Except...this means she is bound to the house.  No way in hell that the little old maid (at 24, FFS!) would be allowed to live on her own, do anything but take care of Mummy's crotchfruit, all while people look at her sadly and wonder why SHE can't land a man.  Which is completely asinine considering the mentality that Daddy has to find him for her.  I can't understand that Gothard paradox:  how is SHE an old maid/ can't land a man if DADDY won't approve of anyone?

[floridamom]

Ivy 26, that's because the Duggars are a cluster of contradictions, always were, still are and always will be... I agree with you. I like Jana, always have, and I feel that she is being taken advantage from day #1 by her infused generous "spirit" and having to do for everyone else... where is that in Michelle? Once again, a contradiction...Can't stand them....

[Rhondinella]

Mummy's crotchfruit

 

 

You owe me a new computer, @Ivy26 !

[Ivy26]

Pffft... I owe a lot of my friends computers :-p

[wanderwoman]

Jana strikes me as someone who has questioned the lifestyle and the way it affects her.  I would bet that, at one point, she was over it.  HOWEVER, I would bet just as surely that she decided she would rather live the system rather than lose her family.  Face it.  The only people she sees and has relationships with are people with the same beliefs or who are making money off of this show.  Can you imagine how impossible leaving would seem in that circumstance?

[SunnyBeBe]

Perhaps Jana does want to escape and she believes that eventually, she will be able to escape from her parents. If she's married, it's going to be more difficult to gain her freedom, since by then she'll be saddled with kids.  Maybe she has a master plan.  I hope so. Hang in there, Jana.

[Ivy26]

Jana's ideal man?  Fundie lite, turns out he had mumps as a teenager.  Given the ignorance of these people, they wouldn't know the conception chances are slim.  She can pursue even a Christian based education with her husband's support and encouragement, lives happily as everyone's favourite aunt.  And even though she would have to put up with the sad looks and comments of "Jana has no blessings", secretly she is smiling because she KNOWS what real blessings are

[mythoughtis]

Ivy,

 

I just googled and checked the CDC (center for disease control) info, 4 in 10 teenage and adult males that contract mumps will have some swelling in certain male appendages, but that rarely results in fertility..  I do remember that old legend about it causing sterility though.  So, Jana would not have an out (most likely).  However,given that Jana will be 25 at the earliest before she is allowed to try for children and 26 (again.. most likely) before they were born,,, there is always hope that she would only end up with 4 or so. 

[Ivy26]

 

 

I just googled and checked the CDC (center for disease control) info, 4 in 10 teenage and adult males that contract mumps will have some swelling in certain male appendages, but that rarely results in fertility..  I do remember that old legend about it causing sterility though.  So, Jana would not have an out (most likely).  

 

Well crap lol

[Wordsworth]

All medical providers are bound by HIPAA laws, making it illegal for them to share confidential health/medical information with anyone without a patient's explicit consent.

 

 

And yet you'd be surprised how often it is violated.  I can think of a number of scenarios where Jana or any other Duggar kid would find that it's not so easy to sneak around the parents.  Here are the most likely: 

 

* An employee of a clinic or facility goes home and tells their family member, neighbor or friend that a Duggar kid came in and asked about birth control. It goes all around that small town they live in faster than it would take Michelle to think about having another child.

 

* Someone spots her entering a clinic and recognizes her.  It wouldn't be hard.  Before long, "Duggar Kid Visits Planned Parenthood" goes viral on FB or Twitter or YouTube.  People happily joke about what hypocrites the family members are.  Jana's privacy is completely blown.

 

I agree with the original poster.  Any Duggar kid doing anything out of the ordinary would have to go far away to keep their privacy.  And only then if no one there watches the show and recognizes them.

[Literata]

I'm still mourning the fact that she and Zach Bates didn't end up together. 

[SpaghettiTuesdays]

Jana! Oh, Jana! She's so done with that place. In last Tuesday's episode, she looked kind of down. I want her to go and be free and wear pants and do all the things she wants to do.

[Adeejay]

Last September when the Duggars announced that Jessa is in a courtship, Jim Bob told People magazine that guys approach him all the time with requests to court his older daughters.  He said that so far, only Ben has made the cut.  I have a feeling they've been rejecting potential "Suitors" for Jana.  They either didn't meet the requirement of "spiritual focus and legitimate calling about ministry work," or she wasn't interested. 

[floridamom]

Jana has seemed to be depressed this season especially, I agree there totally. Based on what JB said about guys approaching him "all the time" about his daughters, and no one has made the cut until now, I believe that Jana has had eyes for someone and JB told her "no" to this guy. I think she is disappointed beyond belief. Her sadness was evident before any of her younger sisters were courting. I hope she gets the best one of all, especially a guy with chutzpah, who tells Michelle to grow up, speak like an adult, and how she used Jana for half her life already as her unpaid maid, nanny, and cook...also I hope he tells Jim Bob what he thinks of him, too...She deserves the best ....

[Jellybeans]

Wow, I haven't heard the term "old maid" in a longggg time... I think the last time I heard the term it was in reference to a card game!

I am one of the few people that thinks peeps should not get married until they are at least 30 but I do know I am unusual in that thinking... I can see why in the case of the Duggar Family it would apply.

I find this family very unusual.

[Rhondinella]

The term "old maid" in the title was being used ironically.  In any normal situation Jana would not be expected to be courting or married already, but in this family she's the oldest daughter and two of the younger ones are marrying before her.  I'm actually honestly kinda surprised the Duggars are letting that happen. I figured they'd be pressuring her to get married already.

[CofCinci]

Jana must so torn between her own independence and caring for her children. She knows that selfish cow Michelle doesn't care about the children once the umbilical cord is cut. She's been the primary mother figure for a decade now. I imagine she's a ball of anxiety.

[StaceyNotStacie]

I feel so sad for her.  When I think about what I had accomplished in my life at her age (college graduate, job, marriage, owned a home, about to give birth to my first child), it makes me sad to think that she is at home practically raising her parents' children.

[mythoughtis]

FYI - a post I made earlier in this thread was unclear, and some posters asked the mods to have me edit it.  It's too late to do so, so instead, I have quoted both the post I was referring to, and my reply.  Hopefully this conversation will made more sense than my original post did.

Jana's ideal man?  Fundie lite, turns out he had mumps as a teenager.  Given the ignorance of these people, they wouldn't know the conception chances are slim.  She can pursue even a Christian based education with her husband's support and encouragement, lives happily as everyone's favourite aunt.  And even though she would have to put up with the sad looks and comments of "Jana has no blessings", secretly she is smiling because she KNOWS what real blessings are

 

 

Ivy,

 

I just googled and checked the CDC (center for disease control) info, 4 in 10 teenage and adult males that contract mumps will have some swelling in certain male appendages, but that rarely results in fertility..  I do remember that old legend about it causing sterility though.  So, Jana would not have an out (most likely).  However,given that Jana will be 25 at the earliest before she is allowed to try for children and 26 (again.. most likely) before they were born,,, there is always hope that she would only end up with 4 or so. 

[Jellybeans]

As I have said, I am new to this show. Is it possible she does not want to be married?

[DangerousMinds]

Jellybeans, I wonder about that too! Maybe she has no interest in marriage and kids right now, but unfortunately she's not strong enough to get up and lead her own life on her own.

[RazzleberryPie]

Whatever Jana wants, she seems so sad and forlorn, I don't think she's getting it.

[mythoughtis]

A while back (a year or so), there was a session with the four oldest girls,, and the girls were asked if they were courting.  Jana's answer was 'There was a guy, but....'. and she shrugged sadly.  I got the impression that she had found someone who didn't or wouldn't meet the Duggar standards.  Rumor was that someone had been texting her without the Duggar blessing or group texts.   It has always been said that Jana wants to be a SAHM.    I think Jana is one that would have benefited by a regular school, and a community college, a real church with a membership of more than a few families where she could have met various people and found a mate over time.  I think she is just not forceful enough to get her wishes known and tolerated by her parents the way Jill and Jessa are. 

[Jellybeans]

I got the impression that she had found someone who didn't or wouldn't meet the Duggar standards.  Rumor was that someone had been texting her without the Duggar blessing or group texts.   It has always been said that Jana wants to be a SAHM.   

I am sorry... what does SAHM mean?

[Bella]

SAHM = Stay-at-home mom.

 

By extension SAHD = Stay-at-home dad, though I doubt that will be very relevant in this forum. ;-)