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S05.E22: Reunion Part 1


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Andy Cohen seeks the truth about the Kristen-and-Brittany hookup and Katie's attack on Schwartz's manhood; James addresses the cheating rumors; Lisa Vanderpump recalls celebrating Gay Pride in the wake of a tragedy; Lala makes an unexpected return.

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Mindthinkr:  I completely agree with you about the talons!  I know it's a trend but I can't stand the look on her or sheana either.  I'm so busy looking at the nails I don't even look at their faces.

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5 minutes ago, Emmeline said:

Mindthinkr:  I completely agree with you about the talons!  I know it's a trend but I can't stand the look on her or sheana either.  I'm so busy looking at the nails I don't even look at their faces.

Maybe that's the point?

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I generally like Andy for Housewives reunions when he's asking blunt questions and will keep asking until he gets something like an answer, and for quieting down the cross-talk when it gets to be tooooooo much. But he sucks at these sorts of reunions, where the casts are larger and younger. How dare he make me feel a little sorry for Stassi and her coven???

Everyone being the worst is basically the premise of VPR, but Tom and Ariana are an especially infuriating breed of terrible for me. I mean, Tom being shrill, greasy and whiny is fairly benign but grating regardless. Ariana though...god I find her awful. She's Gone Girl's "cool girl" monologue sprung to life, and she's humorless and hypocritical on top of it all. They spent the entire hour playing a really smug Switzerland, but because the rest of the group is even dimmer than they are, and Andy was on their side, they didn't get called on it. I really want them to have a turn with a villain edit next season, but I don't see it happening - I mean, Ariana I guess has gotten that a time or two, but she's so dull and brittle that it wasn't really entertaining and couldn't sustain itself.

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FITom has a hilariously twisted brand of logic. "'I'm super protective of my friends Katie which is why I defended Lala and James for calling you fat and you provoked them anyway." Ok dude just admit you want Schwartz for yourself and secretly hate Katie because of that. 

James kind of is hilarious but only because he has zero self respect. 

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Is this going to be 3 episodes of pile on Katie?  I'm already tired if it.  She seems genuinely sorry for her behavior this summer.   Yes the 3 girls deserve to be held accountable, but c'mon.

Princess Aboveitall is back.  And I was warming to her. I just found her to be smug. Her imitation of Stassi was bad.  At least, Stassi pokes fun at herself, not just other people. 

Shut up Sandavol.  You have to interject yourself constantly.  If your point of view was so important it would be called Sandavol Rules.  But it's not.  Be quiet until the question actually involves YOU.

Brittany deserves better than Jax.  Even if he was hilarious tonight.

I don't care about the Vanderpump Babies.  

Shaena is just too high maintenance.  The coven should drop her.  She's too needy, too fsmewhorey and too fake.

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Lisa's opinion on pre-nuptial agreements which boiled down to not thinking they were necessary except in the case of Sheana who was stupid enough to marry a guy like Shay was unnecessarily mean. 

While I enjoyed Andy and Lisa continuously whipping their heads around to Katie, Stassi, and Kristen exclaiming that the just did what the other side of the room had been accusing them of multiple times, I didn't quite figure out how a segment focused on the bullying of Scheana storyline turned in an apology from Katie to Lala.

Schwartz was pretty funny throughout the first part of the reunion.

Everyone seemed to have a much better sense of humor about the reunion BS than usual.  Maybe they are getting group therapy with the psychiatrist that mostly tamed the cray cray out of Kristen .

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On ‎3‎/‎30‎/‎2017 at 0:23 PM, OnceSane said:

Gird your loins, people.  This year the reunion will be 3 episodes.

THREE?!?!?!? I am already bored after watching the first!

3 hours ago, ticklemepink said:

Ugh at Lisa. Not buying her tears.

Ditto. I might be going to PC Hell for this, but I rolled my eyes at them getting all teary-eyed and choked up about the Pulse shooting and then trying to out moral exhibition each other.

3 hours ago, Mindthinkr said:

Can LaLa actually work with those talons? 

Was she wearing "ghetto claws"? I never noticed b/c I couldn't stop staring at her face and trying to determine what was wrong with it.

 

Jax was totally evicted from their old apartment.

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I keep reading here that Brittany deserves so much better than Jax but I'm just not seeing why. She seems so empty headed and its not like she has a bright, shiny future ahead of her that Jax is ruining or something.  I just don't see how she's so great she deserves better. She's also the least attractive of all the girls.  The stupidity is very unattractive as well. 

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Sandoval and Ariana are know-it-alls....but they are right!  The fact that Kristin thinks she can open her mouth and condemn anyone for anything is absolutely mind-blowing.  And Katie did talk shit about LaLa before she ever knew her and she provokes shit all the time.  And Stassi does want to play the victim while simultaneously being a manipulative shit-talker.

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Why is LVP at the reunions and for the entire duration of it? The show is named after her but she isn't a core cast member. 

I thought Scheana and Kristen looked great. Their outfits complimented them well and their hair looked great. No coincidence that both are rocking similar hairstyles. I love the long wavy bob hairstyle and they both pull it off really well. I really liked the colour of Ariana's dress but not a fan of the entirety of the design. 

Katie's text was dirty and just another example of her being judgemental. Those guys didn't show up to work because they were mourning. They didn't show up because they were scared for themselves. The whole point of continuing with the festivities was to not allow an act of terrorism to override the message of love and acceptance that Pride promotes and so they didn't. If it was really about mourning, why didn't she take exception to the LGBTQ community members present that were also partying it up? 

I wonder what Lala looked like before the surgery. She owns her enhancements but to be so young and to have done so much work, I'm just curious what she looked like that made her decide to do it. 

I didn't mind the pile on Katie because she deserved it. Everything can't be blamed on the stress of the wedding. She was horribly foul to Scheana when she first arrived and all because Stassi decided that Scheana was a homewrecking whore and there was no wedding in sight at the time. For every issue Katie had with Lala, Lala pointed out that Katie did the same thing to her which shut Katie up real quick but it got the peanut gallery going. Katie has rationalized her judgemental behaviour on the basis of having some higher moral standard than others but in the end, she behaves like the same shitty human being as the people she tries to 'school'. And all the while her behaviour was being thrown in her face, she continued to have this stupid clueless look on her face. And Stassi was pathetic trying to take examples to justify why they weren't friends with Lala when all of their examples of Lala's nastiness and pettiness was actually in retaliation to their mean gossip and freezing out behaviour toward her. They went so far as to ice out Scheana and bully her because she dared to ask Lala how her weekend was. What stupidity is that? 

Based on the reunion, it seems that Scheana and Stassi are having another 'off' again moment in their friendship. 

I don't understand why Tom jumped in about Katie provoking James and then turned it into her bullying Lala. Katie quickly justified her attack of Ariana and Tom by going after James for what he said without ever acknowledging that she reacted poorly to Ariana and Tom and Tom decides to go off on Katie about James and Lala? Fight your own damn battles Tom and let others fight their own. 

As annoying as James is, I busted out laughing when he imitated Stassi crawling back and I thought it was cool that Stassi laughed and let it roll off her back rather than go stank face over it. 

Stassi is trying to call out Scheana for being weak for apologizing after someone confronts her about her gossiping lies about them and it being hurtful...acknowledging someone's feelings and apologizing only for the lies that they may have spread is weak. Scheana is weak but she's only weak in her desire to be accepted by the coven trio. Scheana is quite a decent human being when she isn't around them. 

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(edited)
Quote

While I enjoyed Andy and Lisa continuously whipping their heads around to Katie, Stassi, and Kristen exclaiming that the just did what the other side of the room had been accusing them of multiple times, I didn't quite figure out how a segment focused on the bullying of Scheana storyline turned in an apology from Katie to Lala.

I wondered this as well. One moment it is about bullying of Scheana then Katie apologizes to Lala? What? Then the whole thing was dropped. It would have been nice if maybe Scheana got an apology, but I am not surprised either.

It could be because I really hate the coven, but I agreed with Sandoval and Ariana thorugh out the reunion. I know it is unpopular but I liked Ariana for most of the season. One thing I like about her is she that she does not like Stassi. It drives Stassi crazy.

Hell must be freezing over because I actually got a kick out of James tonight. I also enjoyed James and Jax getting along.

It has been a strange season for me. For the most part, besides the Brittany/Kristin possible rumor, I liked Jax for a majority of this season. I also liked Ariana this season as well. Everything I liked about Katie when she grew a backbone and ditched Stassi disappeared when she became friends with her again. It cannot be said enough for me, I hate the coven.

Edited by Misslindsey
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I don't know. All of these people are pretty terrible and jump into other people's business without needing to.

As much as Katie was awful this season, it bothers me that Amazing Ariana doesn't get that when another women tweets all these things about your fiancée, you kind of get to have reactions.

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(edited)

Well, that was underwhelming. I can't imagine what they have to cover in two more parts. So far, a lot of talking over each other, insincere apologies, and fake tears. 

I really like sober James. 

Kristin totally went downtown on Brittany. 

Andy is always telling Sandoval that he is pretty. Give it a rest, Andy. 

Edited by bichonblitz
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37 minutes ago, RHJunkie said:

Why is LVP at the reunions and for the entire duration of it? The show is named after her but she isn't a core cast member. 

Maybe she enjoys attending reunions when she isn't the one in the hot seat? They're surprisingly more pleasant when there's no Rinna yelling about OWNING IT!!!1!1!!!11! 

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This is probably the only reunion I'm happy to see LVP, I cannot wait to for her to come face to face with Shay. I know a lot of people thought it was awesome when he was all "I don't need to hear Lisa Vanderpumps opinions on my life" but he sure as hell loved it when he was on her good side and on her show and getting perks from it. 

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1 hour ago, RHJunkie said:

Why is LVP at the reunions and for the entire duration of it? The show is named after her but she isn't a core cast member. 

I thought Scheana and Kristen looked great. Their outfits complimented them well and their hair looked great. No coincidence that both are rocking similar hairstyles. I love the long wavy bob hairstyle and they both pull it off really well. I really liked the colour of Ariana's dress but not a fan of the entirety of the design. 

Katie's text was dirty and just another example of her being judgemental. Those guys didn't show up to work because they were mourning. They didn't show up because they were scared for themselves. The whole point of continuing with the festivities was to not allow an act of terrorism to override the message of love and acceptance that Pride promotes and so they didn't. If it was really about mourning, why didn't she take exception to the LGBTQ community members present that were also partying it up? 

I wonder what Lala looked like before the surgery. She owns her enhancements but to be so young and to have done so much work, I'm just curious what she looked like that made her decide to do it. 

I didn't mind the pile on Katie because she deserved it. Everything can't be blamed on the stress of the wedding. She was horribly foul to Scheana when she first arrived and all because Stassi decided that Scheana was a homewrecking whore and there was no wedding in sight at the time. For every issue Katie had with Lala, Lala pointed out that Katie did the same thing to her which shut Katie up real quick but it got the peanut gallery going. Katie has rationalized her judgemental behaviour on the basis of having some higher moral standard than others but in the end, she behaves like the same shitty human being as the people she tries to 'school'. And all the while her behaviour was being thrown in her face, she continued to have this stupid clueless look on her face. And Stassi was pathetic trying to take examples to justify why they weren't friends with Lala when all of their examples of Lala's nastiness and pettiness was actually in retaliation to their mean gossip and freezing out behaviour toward her. They went so far as to ice out Scheana and bully her because she dared to ask Lala how her weekend was. What stupidity is that? 

Based on the reunion, it seems that Scheana and Stassi are having another 'off' again moment in their friendship. 

I don't understand why Tom jumped in about Katie provoking James and then turned it into her bullying Lala. Katie quickly justified her attack of Ariana and Tom by going after James for what he said without ever acknowledging that she reacted poorly to Ariana and Tom and Tom decides to go off on Katie about James and Lala? Fight your own damn battles Tom and let others fight their own. 

As annoying as James is, I busted out laughing when he imitated Stassi crawling back and I thought it was cool that Stassi laughed and let it roll off her back rather than go stank face over it. 

Stassi is trying to call out Scheana for being weak for apologizing after someone confronts her about her gossiping lies about them and it being hurtful...acknowledging someone's feelings and apologizing only for the lies that they may have spread is weak. Scheana is weak but she's only weak in her desire to be accepted by the coven trio. Scheana is quite a decent human being when she isn't around them. 

Nine out of ten people on the couches work or worked for LVP.  If I were Kristen (the forgotten one) or Stassi, I would have some serious job insecurities with the number of younger, hotter, more interesting people that might present and take their slot next season.  We have gotten down to the kitchen help having  opinions about the going ons in and around SUR.    Without LVP there is not a cohesive reason these fools would continue to film together.

James calling thirsty Stassi out is pretty much further evidence the cast doesn't go too far without going through LVP.

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(edited)
46 minutes ago, MsDiva2007 said:

The three witches of Sur Stassi, Katie and Kristen really need to be taken down a peg or two. 

Everyone on this show does. Except for maybe Brittany. They all have a superior complex. None of them take accountability for their actions and they all think they have all these great moral compasses and grounds but none of them actually do or have room to talk.

eta: I was going to say Schwartz doesn't need to be taken down a peg but then he never holds himself accountable for his actions either. And FI needs to shut about Stassi and Kristen being enablers to Katie's behavior, he's a big enabler to his friends actions as well. We never know the real stories of what goes down on their boys trips with random girls, so yes all these people are awful. Stassi is still my fave though I can't help it. I like her.

Edited by WhosThatGirl
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4 hours ago, WhosThatGirl said:

This is probably the only reunion I'm happy to see LVP, I cannot wait to for her to come face to face with Shay. I know a lot of people thought it was awesome when he was all "I don't need to hear Lisa Vanderpumps opinions on my life" but he sure as hell loved it when he was on her good side and on her show and getting perks from it. 

What perks? It seems to me that successful businesswoman Lisa Vanderbucks dislikes Shay, judging by the way she told Schemer she should have gotten a pre-nup with her (loser) husband.

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6 hours ago, Maharincess said:

I keep reading here that Brittany deserves so much better than Jax but I'm just not seeing why. She seems so empty headed and its not like she has a bright, shiny future ahead of her that Jax is ruining or something.  I just don't see how she's so great she deserves better. She's also the least attractive of all the girls.  The stupidity is very unattractive as well. 

I don't necessarily find her unattractive but I didn't think that she chose the most flattering outfit to wear to the reunion and the way she sat made me uncomfortable. Man spread. All the other girls had their legs crossed demurely. 

I guess all the girls are comfortable with their bosoms hanging out. Hanging being the operative word. I know Britt had Jax buy her those 'C's" but shouldn't they still look perky? 

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Maybe this is true of all the reunion shows, but the stylists need to consider something that's been missing in all the reunions to date:

Couture gowns are wonderful, but if the choice looks crappy when the wearer is sitting down, then it is not a good candidate to be worn during the reunion.

Half of these dresses are flopping open and look sloppy because they simply aren't made to be worn when the majority of the activity is sitting.  Gowns need to be flowing when walking or dancing, but they're just sloppy and shapeless when sitting.

Please, stylists, keep this in mind going forward!

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8 hours ago, Maharincess said:

I keep reading here that Brittany deserves so much better than Jax but I'm just not seeing why. She seems so empty headed and its not like she has a bright, shiny future ahead of her that Jax is ruining or something.  I just don't see how she's so great she deserves better. She's also the least attractive of all the girls.  The stupidity is very unattractive as well. 

I agree.  I've been saying this forever.  

7 minutes ago, b2H said:

Maybe this is true of all the reunion shows, but the stylists need to consider something that's been missing in all the reunions to date:

Couture gowns are wonderful, but if the choice looks crappy when the wearer is sitting down, then it is not a good candidate to be worn during the reunion.

Half of these dresses are flopping open and look sloppy because they simply aren't made to be worn when the majority of the activity is sitting.  Gowns need to be flowing when walking or dancing, but they're just sloppy and shapeless when sitting.

Please, stylists, keep this in mind going forward!

I thought Lala's outfit looked the best.  I liked it a lot.

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Andy forgot to introduce Kristen. Bahahaha

The seating arrangements were....interesting. Both Schwartz and Sandoval were sitting next to their women. But Jax and Brittney were not. Britt is sitting next to her boyfriend's ex and ex-lover, and Jax is over there by James? Whom he hates? Just weird. 

I lived for Sandoval's faces! He was throwing major side eye at everything everyone said. 

So Katie's text/post on Pride day? Suuuuuuper shitty. Look, everyone was free to do what they felt comfortable doing. Lisa said stay or go, she didn't judge anyone for their choice. Personally, I thought quite a few stayed home to get a day off, but whatever. I did think that Sandoval and Ariana took what happened very seriously and made a determined choice to not let the "bad guys" win, and go down there and give the participants a good time. I respected them a lot for that. For Katie to act like them DOING THEIR JOB was somehow distasteful in light of what happened just shows what a small, ignorant person she is. 

And I loved Sandoval calling out the Coven on never taking accountability for their actions. They don't!!! It seems Scheana is really on the outs with them now. I can see both sides to this issue. Scheana IS a bit of a flip flopper. I just think she is very insecure and wants everyone to like her. I think she also wants desperately to be part of the inner circle. But, at the same time, there is NO room for dissent with the Coven. If you don't go along with the groupthink, they'll ice you out. 

I think Lala is a nasty person. I think she was heinous to Katie (not that I feel that badly for such a heinous person, herself), and if Katie were MY friend (wouldn't happen), I'd back her up and tell Lala to kick rocks. However, it wasn't like Scheana was trying to be BFFS with the girl. That's what was so infuriating. The Coven just couldn't see past the tip of their own snobby noses. Scheana had to WORK with Lala. Kristen and Stassi didn't. So Scheana trying to make things comfortable around Sur is actually the mature, proper thing to do. She didn't even offer a real apology! She gave one of those BS "I'm sorry IF...." apologies. But nothing is ever good enough for those girls. 

The truth of the matter is, Katie and Scheana became very close after Katie had her falling out with Stassi and Kristen. With the wedding on the horizon, the latter two came dragging their pathetic asses back around, trying to get on that bridesmaid train. And Stassi, particularly, seemed to want to ice Scheana out. Scheana isn't a complete innocent here, but I really think Stassi wanted things back EXACTLY as they were before, and there was no room for Scheana. Katie is a bitch in her own right, but she can also be manipulated. And Stassi uses "loyalty" as her manipulation strategy. It seems to be working. 

James is a vile POS, but I will forever appreciated his reenactment of Stassi crawling back on her knees from NY, begging to return to the show. That was GOLD. 

The kitchen staff!!! More of them, please. Kristen is crazy. Jax is no good. He sleeps with everyone and needs his hands cut off. (Shout out to my girl, Laura Leigh!) Brittney has great boobs. Can they hose the reunion????

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11 hours ago, Emmeline said:

 I completely agree with you about the talons!  I know it's a trend but I can't stand the look on her or sheana either.  I'm so busy looking at the nails I don't even look at their faces.

That's probably a good thing, because if you looked at their faces you would just wonder why they are so iridescent. 

I know contouring is a thing but holy shit 90% of their body is uncovered yet their faces are packed with pixie dust. 

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10 hours ago, ParadoxLost said:

 

Lisa's opinion on pre-nuptial agreements which boiled down to not thinking they were necessary except in the case of Sheana who was stupid enough to marry a guy like Shay was unnecessarily mean. 

 

Lisa's palpable hatred of Shay is really disturbing to me. I get that she cares for Scheana and Shay has certainly not been an angel. But she is in deep denial if she can't see the ways SCHEANA contributed to the downfall of her marriage. 

 

8 hours ago, Maharincess said:

 

I keep reading here that Brittany deserves so much better than Jax but I'm just not seeing why. She seems so empty headed and its not like she has a bright, shiny future ahead of her that Jax is ruining or something.  I just don't see how she's so great she deserves better. She's also the least attractive of all the girls.  The stupidity is very unattractive as well. 

 

I generally like Brittney, as she tends to keep herself out of the drama, but I agree with you. At the start I might have said she deserves better. But she's been with him for how long now? She knows all the shit he's done, all the girls he's banged. He talks down to her and spreads rumors about her and she chooses to put up with it? Then she deserves every bit of it. 

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I'm not overly fond of Ariana, but she does have her moments when she acts as Greek chorus to counteract the coven.

What surprised me the most was Lala's assertion that her mouth is her biggest problem, and how earnestly she acknowledged that and apologized. Frankly this makes her worth the whole lot of them put together.

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Scheana is so much better off not getting involved with the Mean Girls coven.  She's had a rough year, their support of her has been underwhelming.  Maybe she and Ariana can just hang out together.  I wish Scheana happiness in her new life without Shay.  It's incredibly stressful to cope with a partner who is dishonest and she fortunately saw the light before it completely destroyed her.

The coven have no idea.

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Neither Katie nor Lala is winning a Nobel Prize in the near future, but IMO Katie did kickstart this mess with her slut-shaming. While I hate to agree with Flat Iron Sketch Comedy, the Coven needs to understand that calling someone a slut/calling someone fat are equally hurtful and people in straw houses shouldn't throw matches/stones at people in glass houses. 

There seems to be an opinion on this show that being mean to someone very attractive/fit isn't as bad as being mean to someone who's recently put on some weight.  Everyone's got their shit, everybody hurts. Sometimes. ♪

 

...I'm not a fashion critic, but was Katie supposed to be wearing a Pirate Wench costume? 

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6 minutes ago, Drogo said:

Neither Katie nor Lala is winning a Nobel Prize in the near future, but IMO Katie did kickstart this mess with her slut-shaming. While I hate to agree with Flat Iron Sketch Comedy, the Coven needs to understand that calling someone a slut/calling someone fat are equally hurtful and people in straw houses shouldn't throw matches/stones at people in glass houses. 

There seems to be an opinion on this show that being mean to someone very attractive/fit isn't as bad as being mean to someone who's recently put on some weight.  Everyone's got their shit, everybody hurts. Sometimes. ♪

For the most part I agree. But I do think Lala was intentionally doing things in the beginning to invite speculation and get people talking. She'd drop hints about men, trips, private jets, etc. I'm not saying it's okay to call her a "slut", but it almost seemed to me like she was trying to say stuff without really saying it. I felt she was almost TRYING to project an image of being an escort or something.

  • Love 8
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After the clip of Andy talking to the chefs at Sur, LVP said " what I want to know is how they feel about ME"... Epic fail on the fake tears for Pride. She sounded like a public service announcement at one point. 

Whoa, that old clip of Lala- maybe it's a good thing she likes having work done on her face. 

Schwartz has a big D ???!!!!

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For some reason watching the hypocritical cotillion these yutzes do doesn't bug me like it probably should.

Maybe it's because someone could actually take the moral high ground by standing on a piece of one ply tissue.....

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