S05.E10: Tanisha's Story

[auntjess]

12 hours ago, Noirprncess said:

Because they get to count you in the final DVR numbers as having watched both shows.

So if I record a show, they count it?  What if I delete it after I record it, without watching it? (I've seen it discussed and decided it's not to my taste.)
I'm interested in this, but I can take it to small talk if we should.

 

[notyrmomma]

6 hours ago, auntjess said:

So if I record a show, they count it?  What if I delete it after I record it, without watching it? (I've seen it discussed and decided it's not to my taste.)
I'm interested in this, but I can take it to small talk if we should.

 

follow me to the small talk thread  

[Hockeymom]

mamadrama, I am so very sorry for your loss.

[KateHearts]

8 hours ago, mamadrama said:

I agree! It is interesting how some people are wired over others. And sometimes it seems like even expected events trigger people. There was a woman on Hoarders the other day who turned to hoarding because her mother had passed away. Except her mother was 60 when she died and the hoarder was already an adult when her mother passed on. The brain is an interesting thing indeed. Our youngest son died in his sleep six years ago and my mother-in-law died a week after that. My husband and I experienced two big losses a week apart, yet we didn't become addicts, hoarders, or 600 pounds.

I'm sorry for your loss, mamadrama.  I do think about what you point out a lot when I see these shows.  There is almost always a tendency to addiction of some sort (often they point out the genetic link, such as Tanisha's mother's addictions to drugs and food).  Then there is trauma- sexual abuse, parents divorcing/leaving, a loved one dying. It seems to be the perfect storm for the addiction to prevail, often used as an escape.  

That said, Tanisha kept dragging out her stresses ("there's a lot going on right now!", "I'm still dealing with the death of my mother," etc) as excuses. And I was glad to hear Dr. Now say "the stresses aren't going to go away! what are YOU going to do to handle things differently?"

And I know I'm not an addict or a compulsive eater, but I get irritated when these people say, "Well, I have a lot going on so I'm TAKING A BREAK from Dr. Now's program." As if eating more reasonably is something they have to take extra time for and when they get "busy" being stressed (?) they will have an easier time of things by buying mountains of fast food and drinking cheesecake shakes.  

Her daughters were sweet but sadly appear to be destined to head down the same road as she and her mama unless something changes. I've noticed that the kids on this show don't recognize their own weight issues when they are comparing themselves to mega mom or dad. So in their worlds, a 200-lb 16 year old is "thin", and eating Popeye's or Pizza Hut every night huddled around Mom's bed is a family meal. 

[CouchTater]

I think waaaay too much about this show!

On that note: so many of these people alledge that they're "doing this for my kids."  So. What message does it send to the kids when the 600lb-er goes off plan, or even says "screw this program" a la Tanisha?  That they're not worth it?

I think putting so much emphasis on the "doing it for my kids" message can screw a kid up when it doesn't work out. Much like Tanisha's little girl thinking her existence caused her mama's super morbid obesity, when in reality her mama was already huge before she was born.

How about you just DO it and leave your kids out of it, as much as possible anyway??? 

[Granny58]

On 3/8/2017 at 8:49 PM, MsVixen said:

I'm single and if I wasn't as confident as I am, the fact that Tanisha got another boyfriend so fast might be upsetting!  

I had this same thought about a woman at work, who though nice, wasn't a "looker" and had debilitating health problems.  She ran through men (including marriages!) faster than magazine subscriptions!.  When I mentioned my confusion to another coworker, the reply was "well, it depends on the type of men."  And that was definitely true.  

[Kid]

Couchtater, good point.   Not to mention that anyone who knows anything about addiction knows that you can't go into recovery unless you're doing it because you're sick and tired of being sick and tired of whatever the addiction is. Otherwise, there would be no Al-Anon program. All of those spouses of alcoholics would be able to fix those drunks right up.

 The bottom line of addiction is that the addict loves nothing as much as he or she loves the substance. I think hoarders are the greatest example of addiction.  First, the results of their addiction is very visual, and all of the stuff is more important then the relationships.  They will pick garbage over their family.  And it's only when they get tired of living in a garbage heap, will they change.

[Granny58]

On 3/8/2017 at 9:10 PM, Ms. Bubba said:

And obviously a lot of them don't get it, because we see them eating the wrong things.

I don't know if they don't "get" it, or it's that addiction is hard to break.  I got myself off Zoloft and that was hell.  But you have to eat anyway, so there's no escaping your drug.  I do get that angle of it.  

[Granny58]

On 3/9/2017 at 2:26 AM, Dru Blood said:

got mixed up in feeder porn

I live in a cave apparently.  This is a thing?

[Granny58]

21 hours ago, Pers said:

So, Tanisha's been angrily replying on the 600lb discussion room on Facebook (ALL CAPS ALL THE TIME) - she said she's always done the cleaning, claims that the producers forced her to say she's bed-bound. She is also alluding to the fact her husband (now ex) was abusive and a cheater. A number of her friends have popped up too. I don't know, I wish her the best but I hope she keeps going to therapy because there's a lot of anger there.

I hate to be cynical, but I could absolutely see her dysfunction as a plot device.  After all, she was able to squat down and get back up for her morning pee.  That struck me as odd if she was immobile.   

[Hockeymom]

11 minutes ago, Granny58 said:

I live in a cave apparently.  This is a thing?

Yes. Yes it is.

[KateHearts]

Tanisha seems to bounce back and forth between being God-fearing and faith-based to lashing out and blaming anything and anyone for her issues.  I think all of her voice-overs sounded straight out of a Lifetime movie and weren't really her at all.  

The voice-overs are always the same, every show. "I'm really trying my best to do what Dr. Now told me to do!  It's really hard, but I'm moving more and really starting to do things more with my family! I can't help but eat when I am stressed like this!  I hope Dr. Now is happy with my progress!"  And, my least favorite, "I'm SO proud of how far I've come!"  TLC must think it's viewers are really simple-minded.  It's the exact same script every week, just change the names, the locations, and the length and painfulness of the pilgrimage to Houston.

[Carrie]

6 minutes ago, Hockeymom said:

Yes. Yes it is.

LOL! ?

[Kellyee]

Weighing 600 pounds is an eating disorder, and Tanisha should be in-patient at a facility the same way she would be if she was an 80 pound anorexic. And I get why Dr. Now is hard on these people, but I also question his methods. Tanisha needs psychiatric care, not a doctor with an attitude. She was full of excuses because she's mentally ill. You wouldn't tell a depressed person to just try harder and then send them home. And you don't have them see a therapist one time and then decide to cut into their stomach, which is not a fix for their problem.

[Carrie]

9 hours ago, mamadrama said:

I agree! It is interesting how some people are wired over others. And sometimes it seems like even expected events trigger people. There was a woman on Hoarders the other day who turned to hoarding because her mother had passed away. Except her mother was 60 when she died and the hoarder was already an adult when her mother passed on. The brain is an interesting thing indeed. Our youngest son died in his sleep six years ago and my mother-in-law died a week after that. My husband and I experienced two big losses a week apart, yet we didn't become addicts, hoarders, or 600 pounds. I don't think it's because we're "better" or anything like that-it HAS to be a brain chemistry thing, coupled with environmental factors. Don't get me wrong, it took us years to regain any sense of "normalcy" again, but we never turned to destructive behaviors. 

Actually, it probably would've been easier if we had. I wish drowning myself in quarter pounders, wine, and stuff COULD have helped. 

Did you have a social support system?  Many of these hoarders seem extremely isolated.  [ I'm so very sorry for your losses!  ❤️ ]

[Hockeymom]

10 hours ago, DC Gal in VA said:

Another thing about Tanisha that seems fishy to me regarding her behavior. She starts out all articulate, insightful, and intelligent but ends up sounding like she was Straight Outta Compton. Her behavior and language towards the TLC producer in front of her youngest daughter, who was visibly upset, was disgraceful. I dunno, there was just something disingenuous and shady about that change in her. I don't want to think this but could it be she was never in it to improve herself and it was just about the money and a little bit of fame?

Yes, I noticed that change as well. I don't think it was only all about the money, though I'm sure that played a part. She seemed to be putting her best foot forward in the beginning, slapping on the best version of herself.  When things started to get tough, the veneer cracked and we saw her true colors. 

[KateHearts]

34 minutes ago, Kellyee said:

Weighing 600 pounds is an eating disorder, and Tanisha should be in-patient at a facility the same way she would be if she was an 80 pound anorexic. And I get why Dr. Now is hard on these people, but I also question his methods. Tanisha needs psychiatric care, not a doctor with an attitude. She was full of excuses because she's mentally ill. You wouldn't tell a depressed person to just try harder and then send them home. And you don't have them see a therapist one time and then decide to cut into their stomach, which is not a fix for their problem.

Dr.  Now seems to be evolving in his approach.  He is touching on the psychological aspects when he tells them that the surgery would only be a small part of addressing their disorders and what caused them.  The therapist is a key part of the treatment, IMO.  But there are some patients he admits and places on a strict diet (which works with close hospital supervision), yet others he sends home to fail repeatedly, like Tanisha. In her case, however, we may have not seen enough of the dynamic that he seemed to understand- that she was not ready to be hospitalized or sent to a treatment center (her kids, "nurturing" her relationship, etc), and that she was downright resistant despite all of her head nodding and agreeable comments (at least in the beginning). It comes down to the fact that no matter what your vice, you can't cure it until you are ready and willing to put the work in.  Tanisha wasn't, and if I were a betting girl, I'd say she still isn't.

[TurtlePower]

17 minutes ago, KateHearts said:

Dr.  Now seems to be evolving in his approach.  He is touching on the psychological aspects when he tells them that the surgery would only be a small part of addressing their disorders and what caused them.  The therapist is a key part of the treatment, IMO.  But there are some patients he admits and places on a strict diet (which works with close hospital supervision), yet others he sends home to fail repeatedly, like Tanisha. In her case, however, we may have not seen enough of the dynamic that he seemed to understand- that she was not ready to be hospitalized or sent to a treatment center (her kids, "nurturing" her relationship, etc), and that she was downright resistant despite all of her head nodding and agreeable comments (at least in the beginning). It comes down to the fact that no matter what your vice, you can't cure it until you are ready and willing to put the work in.  Tanisha wasn't, and if I were a betting girl, I'd say she still isn't.

Tanisha was a toughie. I thought she was going to quit completely when the producer was at her house. Tanisha seemed to understand what she needed to do but her stressors got the best of her. She is capable, but it's tough choices for her--her childhood was one of the worst I'd heard of and her adult life didn't seem very stable, either. I think she needs to get men out of her life and work on herself and HER family.

[Galloway Cave]

2 hours ago, KateHearts said:

And I know I'm not an addict or a compulsive eater, but I get irritated when these people say, "Well, I have a lot going on so I'm TAKING A BREAK from Dr. Now's program." As if eating more reasonably is something they have to take extra time for and when they get "busy" being stressed (?) they will have an easier time of things by buying mountains of fast food and drinking cheesecake shakes.  

Around 7 years ago I quit eating sugar and processed foods, switched to whole foods and organic. I lost 30 pounds and felt so much better. There have been times of extreme stress in my life since then and I have not gone back to eating crap because I know it made me feel like shit. If idiots like Tanisha just stuck with his program during times of stress, they would feel better going through the stress. But since she nwasn't giving his program a chance in the first place, she wouldn't know that.

59 minutes ago, Kellyee said:

a should be in-patient at a facility the same way she would be if she was an 80 pound anorexic.

I understand why Dr. Now has them try to lose weight at home. If they can't control themselves and their diet on their own, they won't do it after surgery either. He puts the patients that are having serious medical issues at that moment in the hospital for the first 40-50 pound lose. But otherwise, he wants to see how they fare on their own.

[Hockeymom]

One thing I thought was odd.

Tanisha had been with Troy for 6 years. They were married fairly quickly, so the kids had him in the house for at least five. When they separated, it was like he had never been there. She just switched him out like changing a light bulb.

The kids didn't seem upset. He would have been a surrogate dad / playmate for them. He looked young. When we saw the promo for the episode, I thought her SON was helping her bathe!

Especially Malaysia. She would have known him most of her life. That's a lot of upheaval for a little girl. Weren't they attached?

Then you have mom shoving new guy and his bunch into the mix. Something doesn't sit right.

Btw, I don't think Troy was abusive. Admittedly, I didn't live with them, but I think she's trying to rewrite history now to save face. I didn't get the gay vibe. I got the "so done with this shit" vibe.

[Carrie]

35 minutes ago, Hockeymom said:

Yes, I noticed that change as well. I don't think it was only all about the money, though I'm sure that played a part. She seemed to be putting her best foot forward in the beginning, slapping on the best version of herself.  When things started to get tough, the veneer cracked and we saw her true colors. 

To me, she seemed emotionally immature and undisciplined - which we see in many of the patients featured on this show.  Shame can be a powerfully warping energy; it can stunt emotional growth.  But - it really has nothing to do with intellectual intelligence.  I think Tanisha is very intelligent, but under pressure - her coping style and persona revert to the scared adolescent.

[ethalfrida]

On 3/9/2017 at 6:22 PM, 55Unicorns said:

One of the seven deadlies...

7 deadly sins are not in the Bible.

[Hockeymom]

3 minutes ago, Carrie said:

To me, she seemed emotionally immature and undisciplined - which we see in many of the patients featured on this show.  Shame can be a powerfully warping energy; it can stunt emotional growth.  But - it really has nothing to do with intellectual intelligence.  I think Tanisha is very intelligent, but under pressure - her coping style and persona revert to the scared adolescent.

Yikes! I didn't mean to imply anything about intelligence.

I agree about the shame. Tanisha mentioned in the therapy session that she had done unmentionable things during her street running days. I would never presume to judge her for that. Just surviving the conditions of her childhood takes tremendous fortitude. She gets props for raising those beautiful girls, having a nice home, and trying to improve the quality of life for all of them. She could just as easily have crumbled.

[Motor City]

CouchTater said:

On that note: so many of the people allege that they’re “doing this for my kids”.  So.  What message does it send to the kids when the 600lb-er goes off plan, or even says “screw this program” a la Tanisha?  That they’re not worth it?

I think putting so much emphasis on the “doing it for my kids” message can screw a kid up when it does not work out.  Much like Tanisha’s little girl thinking her existence caused her mama’s super morbid obesity, when in reality her mama was already huge before she was born. 

I totally agree.  P.S. I love your avatar!

[Carrie]

10 minutes ago, Hockeymom said:

Yikes! I didn't mean to imply anything about intelligence.

I agree about the shame. Tanisha mentioned in the therapy session that she had done unmentionable things during her street running days. I would never presume to judge her for that. Just surviving the conditions of her childhood takes tremendous fortitude. She gets props for raising those beautiful girls, having a nice home, and trying to improve the quality of life for all of them. She could just as easily have crumbled.

I know you didn't imply that; sorry to imply that you did! ( Ha! ). I was making a general comment because in reading other threads in this forum, it seems some posters are quick to question the intelligence or IQ of these patients, which I think is often a misreading of their adolescent affect and emotional volatility. ?

[Ocean Chick]

42 minutes ago, Runnergirl said:

Tanisha was a toughie. I thought she was going to quit completely when the producer was at her house. Tanisha seemed to understand what she needed to do but her stressors got the best of her. She is capable, but it's tough choices for her--her childhood was one of the worst I'd heard of and her adult life didn't seem very stable, either. I think she needs to get men out of her life and work on herself and HER family.

Interesting thought about what creates an overeater.  Yes, Tanisha's childhood was horrible.  But then you have someone like Jaycee Duggard (not sure of spelling), the 11 year old who was kidnapped and kept prisoner for 18 years, used as a sex slave and forced to give birth twice before she was 18.  And she never became an overeater as a result.  I'd say her childhood was right up there with Tanisha's. 

[Hockeymom]

Just now, Ocean Chick said:

Interesting thought about what creates an overeater.  Yes, Tanisha's childhood was horrible.  But then you have someone like Jaycee Duggard (not sure of spelling), the 11 year old who was kidnapped and kept prisoner for 18 years, used as a sex slave and forced to give birth twice before she was 18.  And she never became an overeater as a result.  I'd say her childhood was right up there with Tanisha's. 

Well yes, but she wasn't allowed to be, so it never became an option.

[Carrie]

2 minutes ago, Hockeymom said:

Well yes, but she wasn't allowed to be, so it never became an option.

We all respond differently to trauma; some of us become perfectionists.  It is true that damage is not always physically visible. I'm quoting some famous person, whose name escapes me: " If we understood everything, we'd forgive everything."

[Barb23]

14 hours ago, Lizz said:

Another family who eats on or around the bed of the obese one like it's their kitchen table.  

Tanisha has nicer, more stylish clothes than some we've seen who look like they're draped in a king sized sheet and barefoot.   Too bad about the red, ill-fitting wig.  

I had never heard of the lice removal business. I hope they pay well. 

This was another family that didn't seem to own or use a dining table.  

On the Super size version it said she named her wigs and/or hairstyles.  The red clown one was named Deidre.

She did dress nicer than most but I'm still questioning her wearing of the hospital slipper socks to church.

I laughed when Tanisha told her daughter to put one of the pizzas on her dresser. She said it quickly so I'm sure she was hoping we or other family members wouldn't pick up on it. 

Things did seem to be off on this episode like Dr Now with the therapy or him not mentioning about exercise or her use of the walker.  I'm sure it had to do with such a long time line.  

The producer part was perplexing.  There was one time when she (the producer) laughed & I thought it was out of place. Maybe she couldn't believe she was the one who had to go after her even tho she is the producer.  Tanisha was threatening her & all she could come up with was "Oh Tanisha, are you having a bad day?" Weird all around.

Edited March 10, 2017 by Barb23

[Ocean Chick]

2 minutes ago, Hockeymom said:

Well yes, but she wasn't allowed to be, so it never became an option.

Or how about a friend of mine - grew up in an abusive (sexually, mentally AND physically) home.  It was her own flesh and blood father who sexually abused her (for years), cause her to leave home at 16 to try to make it on her own.  She ended up marrying a man at a young age, who also turned out to be abusive.  She had a baby with him, and then left him.  She lived for many years as a single mom, working and going to school to become a nurse.  She had a happy ending in that she did become a nurse and married a fabulous man who is still her husband, and her son grew up to be a good man, married and a father.  But she did not get overweight, even though she had no one else to forbid it.  It's just weird to me that the same stressors can produce such different results - the mystery of human differences.

[KateHearts]

23 minutes ago, Ocean Chick said:

Interesting thought about what creates an overeater.  Yes, Tanisha's childhood was horrible.  But then you have someone like Jaycee Duggard (not sure of spelling), the 11 year old who was kidnapped and kept prisoner for 18 years, used as a sex slave and forced to give birth twice before she was 18.  And she never became an overeater as a result.  I'd say her childhood was right up there with Tanisha's. 

Overeating, as well as drug abuse, alcoholism, self-abuse, child abuse, reckless behavior- is a symptom of something.  And it's individual how people manifest their traumatic or painful experiences. But I think it's pretty well known that if the root problems aren't addressed, then the drinking/overeating, etc won't be fixed.  There have been documentaries in the past of people who had weight-loss surgery and, while they got thin, didn't work on the causes of the overeating and substituted it for drinking, promiscuity, etc. 

Jaycee Dugard may not have become obese, but a) she is probably getting intensive therapy to help work on her horrible past; or b) we just aren't made privy to other struggles she's had as a result of that past. You can't just figure that trauma = food abuse, just as you can't assume that a morbidly obese person had a traumatic past (although a lot of them seem to have experienced some sort of trauma).

[karenkarenbobaren]

For some reason the reply option isn't working for me, but--FEEDER PORN.

I saw this on an episode of Real Life on MTV.  Unfrackingbelievable.  Yet so believable.

Some of these chicks find boyfriends who specifically want to be the "feedee" and they essentially feed them till they puke.

Looks like an easy (but humiliating) way to make money.  But then again, you're probably spending it all on food.  

If I remember correctly, one couple was living in their mom's basement and had a limited budget for food, and had to put some things back.  It was really confusing and bizarre.

http://www.mtv.com/episodes/g1dv6e/true-life-i-have-a-feeding-fetish-season-22-ep-19

 

If you dare, take a gander.  It's something else.

 

And, in Skin Tight, I can't recall her name, but the younger of the two was gorge.  She is one of the fortunate folks who lost a LOT of weight but her face didn't suffer.  I have noticed that the face becomes really gaunt/has lines from the nose to mouth.  She retained her youth beautifully.

[Hockeymom]

59 minutes ago, Ocean Chick said:

Or how about a friend of mine - grew up in an abusive (sexually, mentally AND physically) home.  It was her own flesh and blood father who sexually abused her (for years), cause her to leave home at 16 to try to make it on her own.  She ended up marrying a man at a young age, who also turned out to be abusive.  She had a baby with him, and then left him.  She lived for many years as a single mom, working and going to school to become a nurse.  She had a happy ending in that she did become a nurse and married a fabulous man who is still her husband, and her son grew up to be a good man, married and a father.  But she did not get overweight, even though she had no one else to forbid it.  It's just weird to me that the same stressors can produce such different results - the mystery of human differences.

I guess people are just wired differently.

I love food. Perhaps because growing up, food was always a big deal in our house. Every family picture has a turkey, someone carving a turkey, or someone proudly holding the winning end of a broken wishbone. Every party has a picture with our heads cut off, but the food table framed beautifully.  We were food centric. When I win the lottery, I'm taking the family on a gastronomic tour. We'll start in Japan and eat our way around the world!

On the other hand, I have friends for whom food is fuel. Never had a weight problem and never will. They will never understand my desire to spend the day cooking. They will never understand the thrill of a new cuisine. A new spice, a new flavor. Their memories are different. They sewed with their moms, or practiced cheer leading, or built doll houses.

I think in times of stress, we revert to learned behaviors. If we never learn them, its not our go-to thing. For many of these people, there was already a food issue, the trauma just exacerbated it. I have a friend who cleans when stressed. That would never even cross my mind! I love a clean house, I just don't want to be the one to clean it!

I'm not saying anyone forbade them from over eating, it just wasn't part of the fabric. Food doesn't equal comfort for them.  A sparkling floor / organized closet /  balanced budget does.

[KateHearts]

5 minutes ago, Hockeymom said:

I think in times of stress, we revert to learned behaviors. If we never learn them, its not our go-to thing. For many of these people, there was already a food issue, the trauma just exacerbated it.

Perhaps, but there are other associations with food as well. In my husband's  (Italian) family, food was part of a loving gathering, and an expression of love and caring amongst family members. We all bond around meals together.  Do we overeat when together? Yes, not excessively so- that does not translate into gorging on a regular basis or sitting around eating buckets of chicken and take-out every day.

For these people, unlike you, food is an escape rather than an enjoyable part of life. I don't think they are really savoring nor appreciating the various flavors of what they are eating. You describe a very different relationship with food. 

[Kellyee]

Quote

Tanisha was a toughie. I thought she was going to quit completely when the producer was at her house. Tanisha seemed to understand what she needed to do but her stressors got the best of her.

I don't think stress actually had anything at all to do with Tanisha's problem. I think claiming "stress" was just an excuse. The real problem was that Tanisha was conflicted about whether she wants to stop eating crap or not. She wants to lose weight and she doesn't want to die, but she loves fried chicken, and I suspect she also secretly likes the attention one gets from being "ill". The whole family, cousins and all, have to come to Tanisha's house because she can't go out. Every body has to feel bad for Tanisha. Hell, the church has to give Tanisha a special prayer to help her. That kind of sympathy and attention can be an addiction in itself. And the immaturity that sometimes comes with being molested and stopping your emotional growth at the point you were abused.

And also, fried chicken. And chocolate shakes. And pizza.

One thing I can't figure out is these people allow the most humiliating things to be filmed. Are they told they have to, or does this issue come with a certain amount of obliviousness to how you appear to the world? I can't get over the naked crotch shots every single episode.

[CouchTater]

3 hours ago, Motor City said:

CouchTater said:

On that note: so many of the people allege that they’re “doing this for my kids”.  So.  What message does it send to the kids when the 600lb-er goes off plan, or even says “screw this program” a la Tanisha?  That they’re not worth it?

I think putting so much emphasis on the “doing it for my kids” message can screw a kid up when it does not work out.  Much like Tanisha’s little girl thinking her existence caused her mama’s super morbid obesity, when in reality her mama was already huge before she was born. 

I totally agree.  P.S. I love your avatar!

Thanks Motor City. Are you in or from Detroit? I'm a detroiter!

[Motor City]

Yes, I am in and from Detroit

[Morgalisa]

One of the parameters I use for whether I think the person will regain the weight is where they eat, whether they have a family meal at the table (preferable), or eat in bed, standing, or sitting on the sofa. 

[Miss Chevious]

Why is it so many of the 600-lb people have obese family members too and they don't follow along with the diet too.

In Tanisha's case, her daughter Jermonica could stand to lose a few pounds. As did Michael's wife last episode. But they didn't seem interested at all in trying to lose weight themselves.

[CaughtOnTape]

16 minutes ago, Miss Chevious said:

Why is it so many of the 600-lb people have obese family members too and they don't follow along with the diet too.

In Tanisha's case, her daughter Jermonica could stand to lose a few pounds. As did Michael's wife last episode. But they didn't seem interested at all in trying to lose weight themselves.

I wondered the same but I think it comes down to the fact that they are still mobile and living life for the most part.  They haven't graduated to sponge baths and being hosed off in the backyard so while they are obese, the mindset is that if they just lost a couple pounds they'd be fine.

Tanisha certainly had a come to Jesus moment there didn't she?  She was infuriating at the beginning of this episode.  It's super hard to feel bad for people who are so fantastically rude.

[Lunula]

I'm finding each person featured this season harder and harder to watch. At first, I thought Tanisha would do really well - she seemed to understand that she created this problem for herself, regardless of her past, and that she had to stop or die. We almost had to turn off last week's episode because Nicole just flat-out sucked. This episode was looking up and then the real Tanisha showed up and I was even more frustrated than last week. She was just delusional. Has she never watched this show before? She really thought losing 11 lbs, when Dr Now wanted her to lose 30 (and what happened to the 50 lbs in a month he used to demand?) was good enough to be approved for surgery? Then she comes back the next month having gained it all back and she still thinks he's going to approve her? 

Do people really believe that they'll just have surgery and it'll be all good? They'll just drop 450 lbs and never have to worry about their own bad habits ever again? ARG! So frustrating!

I honestly felt sincere horror at the crap she endured in life, but my GOD - stop making excuses. Stop saying you're "doing this for your kids" when you're not doing a damned thing. 

I'm annoyed at the 2-hour long episodes, especially when the people are so incredibly unlikable and unwilling to take any personal responsibility. I understand that not every story will end well, that's life - but please, find some people who are not insane and who truly want to take advantage of this life-saving opportunity. 

Edited March 10, 2017 by Lunula

[Tabbygirl521]

On 3/9/2017 at 11:06 AM, Hockeymom said:

How are they putting her life at risk by asking her to pick up the phone?

They only went to the house because she was ignoring all the calls, texts, and emails. Maybe if Tanisha really wanted to be left alone, she could return the check.

Maybe they thought she was dead of a heart attack or something? I haven't had a chance to watch yet. 

[mamadrama]

8 hours ago, Carrie said:

Did you have a social support system?  Many of these hoarders seem extremely isolated.  [ I'm so very sorry for your losses!  ❤️ ]

Not outside of my husband, no. In fact, our friends and family were so uncomfortable that we lost most all of them and now, 6 years later, we are only just starting to rebuild our social group. My in-laws blew to the wind; we have not seen or heard from them since the funeral. My daughter, born a year later, has no idea what aunts, uncles, or a grandpa is.

[sidka]

Dragging myself out of lurker-mode because the intro to this episode was sickening and appalling. 

What the hell is going on in our cultural mindset that makes people think its okay to do what was done to Tanisha as a child? In fact, it seems like a good three quarters of this show's participants have been sexually molested/assaulted in their lifetimes, sometimes even with more than one occurrence. And what is equally as bad is that we never hear of these victims getting the help they need at the immediate aftermath of the incident or the perpetrators being brought to justice. I know that is not what this show is about, but these things are obviously traumatically linked to these individuals' food addictions and other emotional instabilities/dysfunctional manifestations in their lives.

 

The whole intro portion made me so heart sick that all the shock value material they always show seemed so trivial. She's pissing in a bucket? Who cares? Can we talk about this obvious link between extreme trauma and morbid obesity? I only breathed a small sigh of relief when she finally got referred to the therapist.  Its egregious that she's only just now seeing one at her age; she should have been offered that support during childhood. 

Sexual trauma is almost in every episode intro now.  Its getting to the point that whenever I see someone extremely pathologically super morbidly obese I seriously start to wonder if there is a good chance they were sexually assaulted at some point in their life.

[Carrie]

47 minutes ago, mamadrama said:

Not outside of my husband, no. In fact, our friends and family were so uncomfortable that we lost most all of them and now, 6 years later, we are only just starting to rebuild our social group. My in-laws blew to the wind; we have not seen or heard from them since the funeral. My daughter, born a year later, has no idea what aunts, uncles, or a grandpa is.

My heart breaks or you - and I can empathize.  I lost my brother last summer and my nephew committed suicide in the fall.  People don't know how to react to such extravagant loss so they say stupid things initially, and pretty much run for the hills afterwards.  I have a large family thankfully - and I don't blame my friends because I have often been at a loss myself as to how to be supportive in the face of such tragedy.  But, yes, you often walk alone through these kinds of horrors. ?  I go to a bereavement support group. I'm glad to know you are rebuilding your relationships.  

[mamadrama]

19 minutes ago, Carrie said:

My heart breaks or you - and I can empathize.  I lost my brother last summer and my nephew committed suicide in the fall.  People don't know how to react to such extravagant loss so they say stupid things initially, and pretty much run for the hills afterwards.  I have a large family thankfully - and I don't blame my friends because I have often been at a loss myself as to how to be supportive in the face of such tragedy.  But, yes, you often walk alone through these kinds of horrors. ?  I go to a bereavement support group. I'm glad to know you are rebuilding your relationships.  

Local support groups didn't want me because it was neither a pregnancy loss or an "older" child loss. I didn't seem to fit in anywhere. I eventually found support in online infant loss groups. That was helpful. I ended up writing a book about our experiences with his death. The working title was "Infant Loss: Surviving Other People." The other people were sometimes harder to take than the actual grieving process. Not only did people run for the hills, they said some of the stupidest things. A sampling:

-At least he was just a baby so you didn't have time to get attached. 

- Just think of the money you'll save on diapers!

- I know how you feel. When my transmission went out last spring, I really thought it was the end of the world. 

I am so sorry about your family members. Grief is a funny thing-we're connected by enrollment in a club that none of us want to belong to. 

As far as Tanisha goes, I think they stuck with her for filming just to get under her skin. There are other people that the production company has dropped halfway through filming either because their story was "too boring" or because they left the show-so there WAS a precedent. I think they probably figured that they were in so deep with Tanisha, and that she was so volatile, that they might as well stick it out with her and hope for some kind of interesting story. 

[NeitherSparky]

That pisses me off, mamadrama. Geez. :{ I'm so sorry.

Btw y'all keep mentioning how Tanisha got a new new boyfriend "so fast"...Guys, it wasn't fast. Did you not miss when he said they'd been "best friends for a long time" and that "this transition was only natural" (paraphrasing)? Her first husband may have loved her once but I'm sure he was completely done with everything before the show started filming. (Or I'm talking out of my butt; I have never been in a relationship to speak of myself.)

[Azubah]

I know we're not supposed to talk about the Facebook drama here on this site, but you might want to duck over there and check in. Tanisha and several of her friends are saying that this episode was almost entirely scripted fiction. It didn't really go down the way the show portrayed it.

[aliya]

2 hours ago, mamadrama said:

At least he was just a baby so you didn't have time to get attached. ...

I am so sorry about your family members. Grief is a funny thing-we're connected by enrollment in a club that none of us want to belong to. 

I hear you. I was a widow at 38. My husband was 42-ish. I used to say he had a heart attack (the real reasons I share only with a few people), but people kept saying, "So young! What were you feeding him?"  It's unbelievable the stupid stuff that people say. 

I finally found some support in one of the early AOL chat rooms. All the IRL widow's groups were for old women... women who didn't even know how to write a check and needed some basic life skills while they coped with their loss. 

To get this back on point, kinda, I could have slapped Tanisha every time she said "stress." What stress - choosing between the 3 pack and the 8 pack chicken nuggets? What loser of a man you're going to bring into your home (because none of them apparently have a home of their own)? 

[SouthernCross]

2 hours ago, Azubah said:

I know we're not supposed to talk about the Facebook drama here on this site, but you might want to duck over there and check in. Tanisha and several of her friends are saying that this episode was almost entirely scripted fiction. It didn't really go down the way the show portrayed it.

Meh...she was 600+ lbs. She didnt get there by eating steamed vegetables and running marathons every day.  

Edited March 11, 2017 by SouthernCross