S05.E17: Drag Battle

[ScoobieDoobs]

22 hours ago, snarts said:

Scheana & Shay discussing picking up tips & clearing out accounts was pretty heavy foreshadowing of what's to come.  You have to wonder if that's what gave him the idea. 

Man, that was painful to watch.  Didn't Shay look so gaunt & distraught?  I've ALWAYS pictured him with a big/huge "L" (for LOSER) on his forehead.  Never more so than after witnessing this really pathetic scene.  She sure knows how to pick 'em, eh?  First Eddie, now this one?  Ah, but Schemer works fast tho.  She's onto the next.  Wait a sec, was she on Lala's case for being a cheap opportunist?  Or was that only Katie & the evil coven?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-4254918/Scheana-Shay-gets-racy-new-boyfriend-Robert-Valletta.html

[HunterHunted]

9 hours ago, OnceSane said:

Kristen bitching out FI Tom?  I get it, you don't want your ex spilling to your current...but maybe then don't arm the current bf with (potentially false) ammunition and have him enter the argument as though he's speaking absolute truth?  Ridiculous.  Carter had no place in the fight and Kristen should have known that Sandoval would jump to Schwartz's defense in any way necessary.  The "hugging it out" was stupid and unnecessary.

Jax's weird dancing during Schwartz's lap dance made me laugh.  I think he was warming up in case he had to sub in for Tom.

To be fair, Carter has fucked Katie so he at least has as much right to weigh in as Peter, who coincidentally kept his mouth shut. Carter take note. Carter should have stayed out of it mostly because he seems to have been on the outskirts of the group when the Vegas shit went down. Plus maybe Kristen shouldn't fill him in on all of the intimate details of your friends' lives. Crazy Kristen is still crazy. She was standing in an alley barefoot drunk smoking a cigarette and batching out Sandoval. 

I loved Jax's weird dancing.

[Ubiquitous]

14 hours ago, Mindthinkr said:

Since Stassi is an Awlins local I wonder why they didn't go to any cool places to see music, or eat the wonderful food except Galatoire's. Seriously, all that room service in a city known well for its scrumptious food? I'd have loved to see them slurping oysters at Acme (well then again with their propensity to eat and chat with their mouths open) or Beignets at Cafe du Monde. (Powdered sugar all over their faces)

Weren't they at Café du Monde, or was that just travelogue footage?

11 hours ago, tvfanatic13 said:

Did I miss how Brittney got that bruise?

I think that they were at Stassi's father's house, not her grandmother's (very cute by the way- reminds me of my Gram).

I must have zoned out when Brittaney had a bruise, but I am sure I saw the house identified as her grandmother's.

[snarts]

I thought it was listed as Stassi's parents house. She told the story of her coming home from school singing show tunes in the empty house.

[bichonblitz]

1 hour ago, ScoobieDoobs said:

Man, that was painful to watch.  Didn't Shay look so gaunt & distraught?  I've ALWAYS pictured him with a big/huge "L" (for LOSER) on his forehead.  Never more so than after witnessing this really pathetic scene.  She sure knows how to pick 'em, eh?  First Eddie, now this one?  Ah, but Schemer works fast tho.  She's onto the next.  Wait a sec, was she on Lala's case for being a cheap opportunist?  Or was that only Katie & the evil coven?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-4254918/Scheana-Shay-gets-racy-new-boyfriend-Robert-Valletta.html

Yeah, she works fast, alright.  That article says Sheana and Shay split in Nov. and she spent the holidays with the new guy. Wouldn't surprise me if he was in the background before the split. Just my opinion. I never trusted her and always thought she was just as much a cheap opportunist as Lala ever was, even more so, actually. The article also states the she and new guy are working on several projects together. How cute. 

[HunterHunted]

14 hours ago, Ubiquitous said:

Feyonce? I guess there's a joke about a singer I don't know about..

It's just a dumb homonym of fiance and feyonce. The neologism implies that you are a fabulous glamorous fiance, while recalling Single Ladies because the guy liked it enough to put a ring on it.

[Sai]

Who goes to New Orleans and orders chicken nuggets for dinner.  No wonder Scheana is divorcing him.

Those boobs make Brittany look huge.  And not in a good way.  

[HunterHunted]

17 minutes ago, Sai said:

Who goes to New Orleans and orders chicken nuggets for dinner.  No wonder Scheana is divorcing him.

Those boobs make Brittany look huge.  And not in a good way.  

But she's the same person who says she doesn't eat seafood because of all the work involved in shucking, shelling, deboning, and scaling it even when presented with dishes where none of those are an actual concern or would be required for Scheana to enjoy said dishes.

Brittany's boobs are terrible. They do make her look like she's gained a ton of weight. It also seems like she's a bit sensitive about flashing cleavage so she is far more covered up than she was before.

[Silly Angel]

22 hours ago, rho said:

So I flipped to Bravo right at the end of this episode when Jax was wearing the silicone shoe inserts under his eyes. Dead!!! I can't believe he thought those would do anything for his face. Also, what happened to Brittney's face that she's wearing sunglasses inside with the shades drawn? It looked like she had a bruise or a big scab on her cheek?

I think they were those under-eye gel thingies you're supposed to put in the fridge. I use some that have cooling coconut water or whatever. They feel great, but it's probably the cold, not the ingredients, that calm down under-eye puffies. He just called them chicken cutlets because he's a moron and doesn't know words.

Wonder if he knows fists, though? If he did assault Brittney, she was being awfully cheery and normal to him afterward. And if he didn't, it's worth saying, "Sorry you ran into a door while drunk/fell down on a sidewalk while drunk/started a fight with a stranger while drunk/hit yourself with the karaoke mic while drunk; the bruise is looking better, babe." But he didn't.

[Ubiquitous]

Who goes to New Orleans and orders chicken nuggets for dinner.

The cast of RHoOC.

[teapot]

dear Lord, I think I got "contact drunk" from watching that episode, if it's possible...

[b2H]

23 hours ago, yourmomiseasy said:

Schwartz and Katie's "ain't nobody got time for fixing our problems, we've got a weeding to plan" mantra makes me cringe.  Anytime Scheena opens her mouth to smugly give her thoughts on marriage makes me cringe too.  That packing scene with her and Shay might have been funny if everyone didn't know the sad outcome.

Well, I'm a little slow on the uptake, but I had to follow up on the sad outcome.  I missed that news somehow.  Geez.  Puts a whole different spin on their storyline for what's left of the season.

[ghoulina]

13 hours ago, HunterHunted said:

To be fair, Carter has fucked Katie so he at least has as much right to weigh in as Peter, who coincidentally kept his mouth shut

Ewww. I either didn't know this, or blocked it out. This group could not BE more incestuous. 

And I still want to know where Carter was this episode? Did he have to fly home early? Did he get Shay's "sun poisoning"? Did an alligator eat him? Did Kristen forget to untie him from the bedposts? 

[HunterHunted]

36 minutes ago, ghoulina said:

Ewww. I either didn't know this, or blocked it out. This group could not BE more incestuous. 

And I still want to know where Carter was this episode? Did he have to fly home early? Did he get Shay's "sun poisoning"? Did an alligator eat him? Did Kristen forget to untie him from the bedposts? 

They really are. It was that weird diagram of who has slept with who that sold this show to Bravo. 

I still want Kyle from Below Deck to move to LA, crew with Captain Alecks (who Kristen also banged), and make his way into this group of people. Kyle loves to drink and make terrible decisions. He knocked up some girl on their first date when they had sex next to dumpster. He got engaged to his on and off girlfriend Ashley, who is a transwoman, and cheated on her with his baby momma that he knocked up again. And he just got arrested for robbing a bar. Apparently he just back from a trip to LA when he was arrested in the airport. Fingers crossed.

[jaync]

Quote

I wonder how many times they had to rehearse the Sandoval door kick so it perfectly framed Schwartz plaintively sitting on the bed?

No telling, but I don't even care, because that shit was brilliant.

THCKatie >>> TequilaKatie

FI only seems to "smoke" when he needs an excuse to speak alone with Kristen.

Quote

If he did assault Brittney, she was being awfully cheery and normal to him afterward.

Apparently, it wasn't a bruise. (See itainttippithebird's post).

Classic episode.

[walnutqueen]

2 hours ago, teapot said:

dear Lord, I think I got "contact drunk" from watching that episode, if it's possible...

I think I need a liver transplant from watching that episode.

[tinaw]

If they weren't already married I'd have started a gofund me page for tom and Katie to NOT get married.

Its unbelievable

[Guest]

On 2/28/2017 at 0:35 AM, Pachengala said:

I took some heat awhile back when I 'girl please'd Katie's podcast claim that she's a 4/6, but I'm going to refer everyone who argued with me to this episode.

I have a pair of Vanderbilt jeans from about 12 years ago, size 12, and a pair from this Christmas,  size 4.  They fit identically,  I kid you not. 

[HouseofBeck]

I finally just started to watch this ep, and I am oddly impressed (or dazed, or confused) by how calm Katie was during the first part. Either she was on some non-ragey something or she couldn't muster up any care for this ridiculous plot, but it was almost soothing by comparison. And Jax's sense-making was also oddly impressive. I'd rather watch this show. Pity it won't last.

FI Tom needs to just...go. 

[dosodog]

18 hours ago, HunterHunted said:

It's just a dumb homonym of fiance and feyonce. The neologism implies that you are a fabulous glamorous fiance, while recalling Single Ladies because the guy liked it enough to put a ring on it.

And here I thought it was an homage to Tina Fey.  

Oops....

[Double A]

On 2/27/2017 at 10:00 PM, ivygirl said:

And it looked like he was LAUGHING! Am I wrong on that?

How could he not? Sandoval was positively operatic and the make up just perfected the scene. 

[bethster2000]

On 2/28/2017 at 9:30 AM, HunterHunted said:

I don't believe Schwartz had sex with the Vegas girl.

I don't think so, either.  He might have had sex in Vegas, but it was more likely to be with someone whose name rhymes with "Bandoval."

There should be a wedding on the show, but it shouldn't involve Katie in any way other than being the jilted fiancé.

[HunterHunted]

3 minutes ago, bethster2000 said:

I don't think so, either.  He might have had sex in Vegas, but it was more likely to be with someone whose name rhymes with "Bandoval."

There should be a wedding on the show, but it shouldn't involve Katie in any way other than being the jilted fiancé.

He let Stassi crash his honeymoon. Need I say more.

http://www.bravotv.com/the-daily-dish/stassi-schroeder-crashes-tom-schwartz-and-katie-maloney-honeymoon

[ghoulina]

Stassi really wanted to stay in Katie's room, not alone in her single person's room. I think that's why she kept acting so aghast about the Vegas thing and bringing the subject back up. If Schwartz was on the couch, Stassi could enjoy the big, comfy bed with Katie. 

[hatchetgirl]

Quote

Also I can't be the only person uncomfortable when they show Schena and Shay talk about their marriage.

You and me both! By this time in filming, in thinking they would have to be separated, right? They don't put these shows out that fast.  

[KnoxForPres]

On 3/1/2017 at 8:09 PM, dosodog said:

And here I thought it was an homage to Tina Fey.  

Oops....

Ha- me too. When I read what it was I laughed at myself for not once getting the "fiancé" out of that. Bachelorette party and all- right over the ole noggin!

[bethster2000]

Do these people ever bathe?  All of them look like they just roll out of bed with a two-day stink about them, the girls trowel on more makeup, and they're ready to face the day.  The only one of them who looks like she showers on the regular is Stassi, and come to think of it, she was the only one in the last episode shown after taking a shower.  Katie, in particular, looks dirty to me.

[JenE4]

On 2/28/2017 at 8:17 AM, ghoulina said:

But here's a tip, if your fiance tells you "You were a nightmare the first 2-3 years of our relationship", you should probably call off the wedding. Not only is that a horrible thing to say, but who STAYS with "a nightmare" for that long??? Katie is a bitch and Schwartz is pathetic. I don't think the marriage will ever implode. I think they'll just continue to make each other miserable until one of them dies and finally gets some peace. 

I think that was the most shocking revelation of the episode. That implies that the first few years were WORSE than these last few years?!? How could they possibly have made it this far--and WHY would they have wanted to?!? I almost feel like they ONLY got together because of the BFF-coupledom triumvirate of Stassi/Jax, Sandoval/Kristin, and the two of them. They forced themselves to make it work because it's like "meant to be" BFFs and soul mates. Then the other two couples break up, neither Katie nor Schwartz want to deal with starting over. If they've invested all this time "fighting for each other" (read: fighting WITH each other), and if they made it through all that... I don't know. It's very sad to watch. It's taking the joy out of this show. I like to laugh at their petty drama, but this is too real. I'm on Team Sandoval here. Everyone else is trying to pin all of this anger and pain on one event or it's because this person said this--or that person didn't say that--and everything would otherwise be perfect. I think Sandoval is the only two who can see how crazy ALL of this is and how Katie and Schwartz bring out the worst in each other. Who wants to live a life like that? 

It seems that I'm alone in thinking that Sandoval would do a great job running a restaurant. It makes sense that as Lisa and Ken are getting on in years, and their other partners are also retirement age, that they're looking for someone who can eventually take the reins. I though they were buying that adult shop for a restaurant for their son, but he has no ambition beyond busboy and has some questionable addiction issues, I think? And Pandora doesn't seem interested in the empire beyond the sangria, either. If they're looking for a surrogate child to partner with, I think Sandoval is a good pick. He would work hard and really care about making the restaurant a success.

[blondiek237]

9 hours ago, JenE4 said:

I think that was the most shocking revelation of the episode. That implies that the first few years were WORSE than these last few years?!? How could they possibly have made it this far--and WHY would they have wanted to?!? I almost feel like they ONLY got together because of the BFF-coupledom triumvirate of Stassi/Jax, Sandoval/Kristin, and the two of them. They forced themselves to make it work because it's like "meant to be" BFFs and soul mates. Then the other two couples break up, neither Katie nor Schwartz want to deal with starting over. If they've invested all this time "fighting for each other" (read: fighting WITH each other), and if they made it through all that... I don't know. It's very sad to watch. It's taking the joy out of this show. I like to laugh at their petty drama, but this is too real. I'm on Team Sandoval here. Everyone else is trying to pin all of this anger and pain on one event or it's because this person said this--or that person didn't say that--and everything would otherwise be perfect. I think Sandoval is the only two who can see how crazy ALL of this is and how Katie and Schwartz bring out the worst in each other. Who wants to live a life like that? 

It seems that I'm alone in thinking that Sandoval would do a great job running a restaurant. It makes sense that as Lisa and Ken are getting on in years, and their other partners are also retirement age, that they're looking for someone who can eventually take the reins. I though they were buying that adult shop for a restaurant for their son, but he has no ambition beyond busboy and has some questionable addiction issues, I think? And Pandora doesn't seem interested in the empire beyond the sangria, either. If they're looking for a surrogate child to partner with, I think Sandoval is a good pick. He would work hard and really care about making the restaurant a success.

This is exactly how my ex and I got together, and I am sad to say we were together for 7 years before we married and 7 years after

[zoeysmom]

On ‎3‎/‎3‎/‎2017 at 6:52 PM, bethster2000 said:

Do these people ever bathe?  All of them look like they just roll out of bed with a two-day stink about them, the girls trowel on more makeup, and they're ready to face the day.  The only one of them who looks like she showers on the regular is Stassi, and come to think of it, she was the only one in the last episode shown after taking a shower.  Katie, in particular, looks dirty to me.

You might be on to something. Does anyone know if Katie is pregnant?  I am kind of ducking but she looks to have a baby bump in this photo.  Her face looks great. 

[MVFrostsMyPie]

Maybe. That outfit looks like it would make most people look pregnant though. This cast generally has horrendous trash urban-outfitters-rack-sale fashion sense. WTH is Kristen wearing? A onesie that tore apart?

PS. This whole cast looks like they all smell like smegma, especially when they're all together on their drunken weekend getaways.

Edited March 6, 2017 by MVFrostsMyPie
adding 'look' between people and pregnant makes a difference.

[bethster2000]

23 minutes ago, MVFrostsMyPie said:

PS. This whole cast looks like they all smell like smegma, especially when they're all together on their drunken weekend getaways.

*SPLORT* Crystal Light lemonade all over my laptop!  It's true!  It's true!

[Guest]

Does Kristen have any idea how bad she looks?

[FozzyBear]

Duuuuuuude, I am so on Katie's side right now. Even though she is an idiot for marrying a guy that has no respect for him. I've long had a suspicion, but this episode solidified it for me, Tom is a huge asshole hiding behind the facade of a nice guy. Nothing is ever his fault, nothing is ever his responsibility, and he will spend the rest of his life surrounding himself with people he doesn't have any affection for just so he never has to be in the wrong. He is a bad, bad guy and Katie may be a dramatic bitch, but even she doesn't deserve the lifetime of head games that are in store for her.

[Pachengala]

1 hour ago, Swim mom said:

Does Kristen have any idea how bad she looks?

No! Literally never! She has always looks plain AF with stringy, limp hair, and yet has always maintained she is "5'9 and fucking gorgeous." It's one of life's great mysteries, truly. 

But...well, you probably meant her behavior, huh? 

[FozzyBear]

Also Brittney should give up the chokers. Her neck is not her best feature.

[HunterHunted]

Katie's denim lace jumpsuit is a fashion abomination just shy of whatever Kristen is wearing. Ugh, seriously.

[WhosThatGirl]

9 minutes ago, FozzyBear said:

Duuuuuuude, I am so on Katie's side right now. Even though she is an idiot for marrying a guy that has no respect for him. I've long had a suspicion, but this episode solidified it for me, Tom is a huge asshole hiding behind the facade of a nice guy. Nothing is ever his fault, nothing is ever his responsibility, and he will spend the rest of his life surrounding himself with people he doesn't have any affection for just so he never has to be in the wrong. He is a bad, bad guy and Katie may be a dramatic bitch, but even she doesn't deserve the lifetime of head games that are in store for her.

Yup. Tom really does gaslight her constantly. Everyone around him though allows him to do it to her. At least his friends do. It is way too easy for him to bring up "Tequila Katie" and then all his friends nod and agree. And I've said it many times that he gets to act all wounded and FI gets to throw away terms like battered wife. Uh.. what the hell are you talking about? It's not right.

[Tara Ariano]

In case you missed it, here's the Previously.TV post on the episode!

The SURvers Hit (And Spin) The Bottle On Vanderpump Rules

Schwartz lets it all out, and boy is it a lot to take in!

[ghoulina]

16 hours ago, Swim mom said:

Does Kristen have any idea how bad she looks?

Especially in the opener for this show. She looks so stiff and awkward holding the champagne bottle as it jizzes all over her. 

[55Unicorns]

On 3/5/2017 at 7:54 PM, MVFrostsMyPie said:

Maybe. That outfit looks like it would make most people look pregnant though. This cast generally has horrendous trash urban-outfitters-rack-sale fashion sense. WTH is Kristen wearing? A onesie that tore apart?

PS. This whole cast looks like they all smell like smegma, especially when they're all together on their drunken weekend getaways.

Ewww...but you're right

[ihatecommercials]

New here!! A couple of things I noticed... 

Did anyone else find it funny that when Jax was ushering Brittney & Kristen out of the hotel room so Katie & Tom could talk, he told Brittney he needed his*ick sucked. The look on her face was priceless & then he apologizes & says he'll go down for her & Kristen shakes her head like yeah that's the better deal. I'm sure Brittney's mom is loving that!

Also, the exchange I got from Shay & Scheana about clearing out the account was, they were comparing their relationship to others per usual & Scheana says what are we gonna do, clean out our back accounts & pick up our tips from work? I think Shay answered truthfully yes! Scheana wasn't expecting his answer. 

Where did the shakedown of the wannabe SUR server come from? Did Brittney actually pass that test? I'm sure not! Tom & Katie are doomed!!