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S06.E06: Speechless


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The Pleated Avenger Does Dallas

Gold, Jerry.  Gold!

I admit, I always remember Brandon's self-righteous rant in this one.  "Steve, is this, PORNOGRAPHY.  It's disgusting, it's degrading, it's FILTHY."  Ah, go **** yourself, Brandon!

Why was Val on this road trip again?  At least someone pointed out that Kelly cheated with her best friend's boyfriend.

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If Dylan has enough evidence to put Marchette away for life, why doesn't he just give it to the cops, feds, or DA instead of playing these stupid gun-under-the-table games with gangsters?

Kelly trying to slut shame Valerie, again, when Kellys herself has slept with everyone in the group and also cheated on or with several of them is rich....and so damn typical.

I loved that Claire was all, "I just want to eat some damn mashed potatoes, bitch!" during the dinner.

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No offense to any men with blonde hair, but there is nothing creepier than a blonde mustache.

I listened to the podcast before I saw the visual aids and when they brought up Donna's half shirt at the convent I thought, "Well, half shirts are probably the only kind of shirts she packed." But she *chose* to tie her normal tee shirt into a half shirt at the convent. A super Catholic like Donna should know better!

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1 hour ago, MerBearStare said:

No offense to any men with blonde hair, but there is nothing creepier than a blonde mustache.

I listened to the podcast before I saw the visual aids and when they brought up Donna's half shirt at the convent I thought, "Well, half shirts are probably the only kind of shirts she packed." But she *chose* to tie her normal tee shirt into a half shirt at the convent. A super Catholic like Donna should know better!

Right. AND she's wearing a flannel over it. Double the options to not have half her torso visible. 

Kelly remains the worst. 

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I've always loved this episode.  It's not exactly good but it has a lot of individual moments that are excellent.  Outside of Brandon I think the porn story is pretty amusing and the convent story includes Kelly FINALLY being confronted about cheating on Brenda.  I think it's interesting that this is the same episode that reveals that Kelly's best kiss was while she and Dylan were cheating.  Not when he picked her to be his girlfriend, or while the were together, but while she was helping him cheat on Brenda.  More proof that Kelly is happiest when she's cheating on someone.  Oh, and Kelly silently phrases it as "I slept with my best friend's boyfriend.  I slept with my boyfriend's best friend."  When she was cheating on Brenda we were led to believe that she and Dylan didn't have sex.  I've always thought that she did bone Dylan when he showed up at the apartment last season but I also think this confession officially clarifies/retcons the SOD into Kelly sleeping with Dylan at least once before Brenda came back.  The phrasing can be interpreted as Kelly acknowledging that Dylan had been Brenda's boyfriend as well as Brandon's bestie but I do think that, if I were making such a confession and I didn't actually have sex with the guy, I'd phrase it as "my best friend's ex-boyfriend" if only because it doesn't sound as bad.  Since only Kelly knew what she was thinking I'm taking it as proof (even if in a retcon way) that she did bone Dylan that summer. 

Finally, if Kelly's silent confession had been the end of her slut shaming and judging Val then it would have been great.  Alas, Kelly forgets all of this and the judgment continues. 

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I know Val's got the Ur Boobs, but Susan gives her a run for her money in that white polo top. I miss being bouncy. 

Donna's useless contour barrettes are extra annoying in light of the so-very-pointless bang pieces greased back from her face. I blame a very specific issue of Sassy and by extension, Drew Barrymore (sorry, love you both), for the baby barrette thing that spread like herpes in the 90s.

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5 hours ago, luckyroll3 said:

If Dylan has enough evidence to put Marchette away for life, why doesn't he just give it to the cops, feds, or DA instead of playing these stupid gun-under-the-table games with gangsters?

I wondered the same thing - what the hell kind of evidence is in that safety deposit box?  Nothing Dylan has gathered from his spying or Brandon's stupid dossier proves Marchette had Jack killed.  A note saying "I'm sniffing around a mobster, he might try and kill me!" is also not evidence of anything.  Dylan, you are terrible at this.

Kelly is SUCH a bitch in this one and thus I really enjoyed Valerie throwing the Summer of Deception in her face (and, correct me if I'm wrong, but that "best kiss ever" with Dylan was from said period of hooking up with her best friend's boyfriend, correct?).

Claire being "Oooh, tell us the goss!" about Val's kiss with David was kinda weird in comparison to Donna's OTT reaction.  I mean, I get that she's already moving on to Steve, but David is her recent ex-boyfriend, does she really want to be hearing that?

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All the young people living at and hanging out around Walsh House reminds me of Starlight Manor. To bad Synergy can't hologram Brandon into Jem. 

God Forbid Dylan and Brandon move on after Kelly rejected them. She dumped then both decisively and is in a relationship with Colin that she flaunts in their faces, she doesn't get to act possessive or hurt. 

It started last season that we couldn't go an episode without dialogue saying how attractive Kelly and/or Donna are. It's not endearing. 

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I demand a refund! Well actually, I don't. But I am the "recidivism Dave Word" requester, and I thoroughly enjoyed the recursive error computer joke.  

This girls-trip/convent visit felt like Brandon/Dylan sweat lodge redux. Apparently in 90210 it is common to go on road trips with people you have strained relationships with and then end up in some wacky place which forces you to work out your issues. 

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No offense to any men with blonde hair, but there is nothing creepier than a blonde mustache.

I listened to the podcast before I saw the visual aids and when they brought up Donna's half shirt at the convent I thought, "Well, half shirts are probably the only kind of shirts she packed." But she *chose* to tie her normal tee shirt into a half shirt at the convent. A super Catholic like Donna should know better!

The "creepy blonde mustache" reminded me of Spencer Pratt's "creepy, flesh-colored beard" from "The Soup" (Joel McHale).

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15 hours ago, TeeVee329 said:

I wondered the same thing - what the hell kind of evidence is in that safety deposit box?  Nothing Dylan has gathered from his spying or Brandon's stupid dossier proves Marchette had Jack killed.  A note saying "I'm sniffing around a mobster, he might try and kill me!" is also not evidence of anything.  Dylan, you are terrible at this.

Kelly is SUCH a bitch in this one and thus I really enjoyed Valerie throwing the Summer of Deception in her face (and, correct me if I'm wrong, but that "best kiss ever" with Dylan was from said period of hooking up with her best friend's boyfriend, correct?).

Claire being "Oooh, tell us the goss!" about Val's kiss with David was kinda weird in comparison to Donna's OTT reaction.  I mean, I get that she's already moving on to Steve, but David is her recent ex-boyfriend, does she really want to be hearing that?

 

Apparently she does want to hear it. Claire's face was like WTF when Val said it.

Yeah I swear that was when Dylan cheated on Brenda

 

12 hours ago, penguinnj said:

I hate myself for this- but I cracked up at Priestly's grimace/eye roll when Susan asks what it says about him that he's living with a pervert :) Sorry, not sorry.

Yeah, it was like "She's got a point there" at least that's what I thought.

 

Donna is scary at a convent and it was cringe worthy. Kind of wish she did what Diane in Cheers did but alas it didn't happen. Kelly is the worst.

The guys seemed like they enjoyed their thing. That banter minus the Bray.

Dylan is a dumbass.

3 out of 4 women picked David as their best kiss. I mean Donna has kissed like 3 guys but Claire and Val? Dang, Silver must have skills if he can be their best kiss. Poor Steve, has kissed 3 of them and doesn't get a mention.

Also shut up Kelly.

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Kelly's slutshaming is even more ridiculous considering she dropped a year-long relationship with Brandon the moment Dylan kissed her and cheated with him once again, this time screwing over her actual boyfriend.

Kelly and Dylan seem to have George's attitude towards Susan on Seinfeld.  When they broke up, George was desperate to get back together.  When they got back together, he was miserable and looking for any chance that he could to break things off.  Kelly and Dylan only thrive together in a relationship when they were screwing someone else over.

Edited by benteen
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I'm not sure why did Val confess that she and Ray hooked up twice? I know it was "no lies" but if you're in a car with the person your transgressions affected, I'd sure as heck be telling a bunch of lies.  How would this bring them all together? Poor Val- I wish she'd had just asked the nun to take her to the nearest bus station and gone home.  Who needs these slut shaming bitches?

I think Donna figures since she's technically a virgin, it doesn't matter how she dresses- even in front of the nuns. 

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21 hours ago, scarynikki12 said:

Since only Kelly knew what she was thinking I'm taking it as proof (even if in a retcon way) that she did bone Dylan that summer. 

Oooh, interesting theory! I never thought of it that way before, but that's a good one. Or, we could go all Cindy Walsh and assume that since they were fooling around (but not having sex) and sharing intimacies that they were engaged in an emotional affair. Which, we all know, is just as bad as a physical one!!!

Also hate how she's all smug about it EVEN WHILE TALKING TO GOD! It's like teehee, so cute, I screwed over 2 people I supposedly care/cared about. Bitch. And the "You really are a slut, aren't you." WOW. Way harsh, Tai, even in the 90s when we didn't know what slut shaming was... And saltless pretzels? What's next? Sugarless cupcakes? Jesus, Kelly, could you get even more bland?

re: Tara's confusion about Ray and Val and what Donna knew when - I always got the impression that Donna suspected something was up way back (she worriedly noted them flirting on a couple of occasions) and it hit her in her big insecurity - that she can't "hold" a man because she doesn't put out. So I think it was really, she knew on some level, but didn't want to know. For that I give the writers a smidge of credit, because that's what someone desperate and simple-minded like Donna would do. Now I hate myself for giving the writers credit. So let me go back to fucking hating Donna's EXTRA piousness at the Convent. The poses and the sugary syrupy verse. As Sarah says, Now, I've got the diabetes. Shut UP, Donna.

17 hours ago, TeeVee329 said:

A note saying "I'm sniffing around a mobster, he might try and kill me!" is also not evidence of anything.

AHAHAHAHA! Knowing Dylan, that's about it. And according to Dylan (see his letter TO THE FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION), the FBI, et al, already know that Marchette killed his Dad and apparently don't have enough evidence on him to indict, so, um, what's his fucking safety deposit box gonna do? Dylan, you are such an idiot. 

Count me in as loving Toni's hair. (Yes, I'm biased as a curly girl) but it's so full and lovely. The granny shoes, not so much. 

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45 minutes ago, CurlyATX said:

I'm not sure why did Val confess that she and Ray hooked up twice?

I think that was there to set up Ray later - Ray claims to Donna when confronted it was only once and she has the ammo to volley right back that he's still lying to her.

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As usual, WHY IS VALERIE INVOLVING HERSELF WITH THESE IDIOTS?? Because the writers needed to keep her in the rotation, I know, but there is zero motivation for this character to invite herself on a road trip with a couple of girls she knows hate her. Val, you can do better. Go find D'Shawn. Be on a better show.

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3 hours ago, Klaw said:

re: Tara's confusion about Ray and Val and what Donna knew when - I always got the impression that Donna suspected something was up way back (she worriedly noted them flirting on a couple of occasions) and it hit her in her big insecurity - that she can't "hold" a man because she doesn't put out. So I think it was really, she knew on some level, but didn't want to know. For that I give the writers a smidge of credit, because that's what someone desperate and simple-minded like Donna would do.

I agree - I think it makes a lot of sense for her to have known that something was going on, and to know/suspect deep down that they slept together, but if she never actually had the details she could still kind of lie to herself that maybe they hadn't. To have it confirmed that they did bone, and more than once, would be upsetting in that context. Of course, the writers forgo making any of that clear in favour of her diabetes-inducing prayers, because they suuuuuuuck.

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A note saying "I'm sniffing around a mobster, he might try and kill me!" is also not evidence of anything.

But Dylan is a great writer!  Right?

It's his "pain" that makes him think he is a great writer...

Edited by benteen
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1 hour ago, luckyroll3 said:

LMAO!  Oh my god, this, plus how irritated Tara and Sarah were getting, cracked my shit up during this episode.  Good times. 

 

43 minutes ago, Halo said:

Sarah calling you "Twatson" is my favorite part of the whole episode. 

I have to agree with this. Sorry, Tara and Sarah!

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UGH, Kelly and the hands on her hips!! It comes off as so judgmental- it doesn't help that it's usually paired with bitchface and/or cat butt mouth. I really can't stand it, and there is SOOOOO much more of it to come. Somehow this became, like, Kelly's signature move? Bad choice, Jennie Garth.

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9 hours ago, maxineofarc said:

As usual, WHY IS VALERIE INVOLVING HERSELF WITH THESE IDIOTS?? Because the writers needed to keep her in the rotation, I know, but there is zero motivation for this character to invite herself on a road trip with a couple of girls she knows hate her.

Interestingly, in the clip from the podcast when Claire is explaining the invitation, it really sounds like Donna and Claire don't hate Val/aren't that irritated that she's coming along, they just know Kelly hates Val and will be irritated (slash a bitch, natch) about it.

And in the car, the girls are having fun goofing around together, it's Kelly that uses the opportunity to slut sham Val twice.

Edited by TeeVee329
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14 hours ago, SoupThrower said:
On 2/20/2017 at 7:38 PM, penguinnj said:

I hate myself for this- but I cracked up at Priestly's grimace/eye roll when Susan asks what it says about him that he's living with a pervert :) Sorry, not sorry.

Yeah, it was like "She's got a point there" at least that's what I thought.

It makes me crazy, but, despite my better judgment for most of the next few seasons, "small voice, ducking" I find a lot of the Brandon/Steve STUFF amusing.  I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that they look like they are break character for at least half of it and are making their own fun as Tara and Sarah say.  And if you hate me because of this, I guess I'lll run along the side of the car will Val- and her boobs of course.

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10 hours ago, penguinnj said:

It makes me crazy, but, despite my better judgment for most of the next few seasons, "small voice, ducking" I find a lot of the Brandon/Steve STUFF amusing.  I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that they look like they are break character for at least half of it and are making their own fun as Tara and Sarah say.  And if you hate me because of this, I guess I'lll run along the side of the car will Val- and her boobs of course.

I honestly think the reason I don't hate Steve, who has many hateful qualities, is because Ziering spends a whole lot of time making his own fun.

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Why did they go to the trouble of making Ray kind of likable and getting along with the others and adding Jamie Walters to the opening credits only to wait until now to burn him? And then let him come back and drag it out and make it even worse? I am perplexed by why Jamie Walters would take this deal.

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1 hour ago, ZeroDiscipline said:

Why did they go to the trouble of making Ray kind of likable and getting along with the others and adding Jamie Walters to the opening credits only to wait until now to burn him? And then let him come back and drag it out and make it even worse? I am perplexed by why Jamie Walters would take this deal.

From what I read , ray was supposed to be signed on for another season but Aaron spelling didn't want his daughter attached to the abusive story line anymore . Something like that 

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This is the definition of "Throwback Thursday", which is today, if you're reading this on a non-Thursday in the future, but I remember Jamie Walters in this VH1 show many years ago, featuring several formerly famous people, including David Chokachi & Hobie, both from "Baywatch", who'd fallen a bit in their fame. If I remember correctly, JW said that he asked to be written off the show, because fans were coming up to him at shows/concerts & saying things like "please stop hitting Donna", & "quit cheating on Donna with Val", or saying they wouldn't go to concerts because of Ray's behavior. It was affecting his revenue on that end, so he wanted off 90210. In retrospect, maybe not the best idea, as neither his acting career or his singing career panned-out too well. I think he might now be a firefighter or EMT or something, both completely noble professions, & much more dependable than acting/singing, but if he wants the fame & glory, he might've should've stuck with Ray Pruit.

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Jeez, I feel so old listening to you two talking about "the woman" playing Claudia with no apparent recognition.  Mary Crosby is notorious for two things.

1.  She's the daughter of Bing Crosby who once stated in a Barbara Walters interview (ask your parents) that the only reason he would disown one of his children is if they were to have premarital sex.

2.  She shot JR!

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