S05.E09: The Talk Of Montauk

[MVFrostsMyPie]

Haha, props to Cline for putting up with these embarrassing twats. I think I still have a couple of Cline zinfandels. They are super nice there... although most of the wineries are super nice. It's a good first stop on one's winery tour, although it's no fun going to a wine tasting with people who aren't into it. I'm personally a fan of Twomey and Silver Oak. I'm surprised the group didn't go to Chandon- that's like the perfect place for big groups of obnoxious people. Good place to end one's tour with some champagne and oysters. And now I'm going to go drink some of my own wine.

Edited January 4, 2017 by MattDuffysCat

[Tara Ariano]

In case you missed it, here's the Previously.TV post on the episode!

Two Separate Birthdays Bring Everything Together On Vanderpump Rules

Trading WeHo for the lighter locales of Sonoma County and Montauk, this week finally SURves up something good.

[windtrix]

I really tried to like this show or even hate-watch it, but these people are so vile and disgusting that I just can't do it anymore.

[RHJunkie]

Ariana should probably drink more often...she's far less pretentious when she does. Is she the oldest among the group of girls on the show? Because she seems the most naturally pretty and youthful. Kristen also looks pretty great, and others have mentioned, it's like some freak of nature sort of thing given that she lives off of vodka and cigarettes.

The Montauk birthday was pretty drag. I suspect that Scheana probably didn't want to splurge because of diet reasons but felt that the others would come down harshly on her for it so she made a more socially acceptable excuse about not being able to handle the alcohol of choice for the night. She still sounded like a debbie downer while doing it but it's also annoying when you're with a group of people and they insist that you have to do exactly what they do.

Had to laugh at Stassi saying she's going to need a lot of help if that's what the dating pool looks like. If I were a single man that had any inclination to the type of person Stassi was, I would look at her and think the exact same thing.

James was actually tolerable this episode.

[editorgrrl]

1 hour ago, RHJunkie said:

Ariana should probably drink more often...she's far less pretentious when she does. Is she the oldest among the group of girls on the show? Because she seems the most naturally pretty and youthful.

Kristen is 33. Ariana and Scheana are 31. Katie is 30. Stassi is 28. Brittany is 27. Lala is 25.

[The Mighty Peanut]

Scheana just has that aura of sanctimony about her whether she's claiming one shot will make her pass out or ordering every drink on the menu for her birthday, or shooting fireball at her wedding. Just "no thanks" or "I'm supporting Shay" or "I have to maintain for my deal with Hydroxycut." But it has to be a Thing. I have no doubt the workout regime quip in her TH will make waves.

Kristen Fucking Doute. I remember in the first season, and you can find the post if you stalk hard enough (unless it's on twop, which it might have been)...anyway, I literally looked up and for a second wondered who the new male cast member was. Remember how lankhaired and mannish she was? And now she's gorgeous. I need to drink and smoke and punch people. 

I don't think any of these women are remotely overweight and the social media backlash pisses me off too, tbh. 

Edited January 4, 2017 by The Mighty Peanut

[ghoulina]

17 hours ago, ParadoxLost said:

I think ScheanA's only reason not to drink was to limit caloric intake but she knew better to say it.  She knows that the others are looking for an excuse to go off on her and that would get twisted blow up in her face even if as she meant nothing by it.  So she had to come up with other excuses.

That is a good point. If she said her diet doesn't allow the excess sugar and calories, they might have countered - "Oh, but we're already fat so it doesn't matter???" 

Like I said, I don't think she could have won no matter how they handled it. 

[JenE4]

I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one in shock that I thought James actually looked somewhat cute with his glasses, honey-lavender gelato, and introspective talk with Arthur. Arthur should just go from Bravo show to Bravo show and give the various castmates some real talk. 

Edited January 4, 2017 by JenE4

[biakbiak]

3 hours ago, The Mighty Peanut said:

Scheana just has that aura of sanctimony about her whether she's claiming one shot will make her pass out or ordering every drink on the menu for her birthday, or shooting fireball at her wedding. Just "no thanks" or "I'm supporting Shay" or "I have to maintain for my deal with Hydroxycut." But it has to be a Thing. I have no doubt the workout regime quip in her TH will make waves.

 

It sounded like she was fine with drinking she was just objecting to the sugary green tea shots, the only time I have ever gotten a hangover is when I have had shots are drinks with extra sugar and lower alcohol which also increases the sugars.

[ghoulina]

54 minutes ago, biakbiak said:

It sounded like she was fine with drinking she was just objecting to the sugary green tea shots, the only time I have ever gotten a hangover is when I have had shots are drinks with extra sugar and lower alcohol which also increases the sugars.

Right. I just felt like Scheana wanted to be in control of what she drank and how much. Stassi think that since it's her birthday, everyone should do exactly what she's doing. Followers, Katie and Kristen may be fine with that, but she shouldn't expect everyone to be. 

[The Mighty Peanut]

I agree, and it's her business how much she does or doesn't drink, but I still think there was a way for Scheana to handle that without sounding so judgmental. The "you have your sugary shots" TH confirmed it, IMO. 

[RHJunkie]

23 hours ago, editorgrrl said:

Kristen is 33. Ariana and Scheana are 31. Katie is 30. Stassi is 28. Brittany is 27. Lala is 25.

Thanks for that :)  I'll stand by what I said then - Kristen and Ariana look the the best for their age. I still think that these girls are ruining themselves with their 'preventative' treatments. It just doesn't seem right that any person at the age of 25 should feel the need to stick their face with a needle to prevent aging. If it weren't for reality trash TV, I wouldn't even have thought that people in that age group even think to do such a thing. If the girls want to look younger, they could stop botox and start with going with a more minimalist look with their make up. It's probably why I think Kristen and Ariana look younger than the others - their make up is more natural than it is over the top.

Edited January 5, 2017 by RHJunkie

[Teddybear]

Quote

I agree, and it's her business how much she does or doesn't drink, but I still think there was a way for Scheana to handle that without sounding so judgmental. The "you have your sugary shots" TH confirmed it, IMO. 

Yep I agree, and she is now VERY thin.  Even Jax was commenting on it.  "Where'd her ass go?" was hilarious, because she really did have quite a nice booty before.  It seems like she's not having much of anything except her Hydroxycut gummies which she loves to post on her Instagram.   She seemed like such a Debbie Downer on the trip but I don't know if she would have had any more fun drinking tequila from a bottle hanging out of an RV.... 

[dosodog]

Well now. Perhaps it's because I'm watching the early season and the timing is a coincidence......

I just found out that FI cheated on Kristen with a Vegas Bottle Girl because they hadn't had sex for 3 months.....

And this very episode?  He was venting about the lack of sex. ......

Hmmmmmm........

Could Tom be the mystery boyfriend ;).......

[ghoulina]

Oh my gosh, I would LOVE if Sandoval was cheating on Ariana with Lala. Only because something interesting needs to happen on this show! James is sober. Kristen seems to have had a lobotomy. Jax is domesticated and hanging curtains. Scwartz and Katie are sucking up half the season with their overpriced wedding. YAWN. 

Where is Laura-fucking-Lee????

[Drogo]

Ariana was great at NASCAR.  One has to wonder how much more likeable she would be if she weren't always surrounded by people she dislikes so much (for keeping Tom away from her a few years.)  And if she were always eating meats without utensils.

I just have to say that I miss the old intro...
 

Spoiler

 

and how much FI Tom is not catching that vodka bottle.

 

[ScoobieDoobs]

Just to explain about what some observed as the "unimpressive" Montauk place they were in.  First off, there are very, very, very few places to stay in Montauk -- and only a tiny few with direct access to the beach.  A room in season could go for 500 or more a day -- if you could get one, which is very difficult.

Actually, Montauk is technically part of the Hamptons, but most don't think of it that way because it is quite far away from the towns most refer to as "the Hamptons", such as East Hampton, Southampton, Sag Harbor, etc.  Montauk is at the very tip of Long Island.

Anyone catch when the BH gals were in the Hamptons (not Montauk)?  Most of 'em thought the motel they were in was meh.  And it was.  And Kyle (well, probably Mauricio) found a stunning house for them to stay in.  Same kinda deal in Montauk.  Surprisingly there are no exceptional luxury accomodations anywhere to be found.  Sure, there are a few super expensive & wanna be considered "luxury", but they're not especially impressive.  Nah, if you've got buckets of unlimited dough, you'll rent a faboo private estate.  Those are aplenty.

[HouseofBeck]

Finally was able to watch the whole thing after reading all of these comments--a big yep to everything said before, and I am thankful that I knew ahead of time which scenes to fast forward through because of extra dullness on top of the general dullness.

I also thought James looked particularly less repellent and weasely than ever before, and realized why: No armpits. The dark shirt with dark blazer works for him. That said, I am backing away from the evident charisma he has (else why would he keep invading all these jobs and women) because this is not going to be the Year of the Weasel, no.

I wonder if it will sink in with Stassi that having such a smaller coterie at her disposal for her birthday, with at least one of which unwilling to give up her freedom of decision, means that she's going about this whole friendship business all wrong. Probably not.

Funny how only now is James expressing all of his Concerned Friend Feelings about Lala's relationship. He almost seemed normal there, though. 

[zoeysmom]

On ‎1‎/‎6‎/‎2017 at 0:03 PM, ScoobieDoobs said:

Just to explain about what some observed as the "unimpressive" Montauk place they were in.  First off, there are very, very, very few places to stay in Montauk -- and only a tiny few with direct access to the beach.  A room in season could go for 500 or more a day -- if you could get one, which is very difficult.

Actually, Montauk is technically part of the Hamptons, but most don't think of it that way because it is quite far away from the towns most refer to as "the Hamptons", such as East Hampton, Southampton, Sag Harbor, etc.  Montauk is at the very tip of Long Island.

Anyone catch when the BH gals were in the Hamptons (not Montauk)?  Most of 'em thought the motel they were in was meh.  And it was.  And Kyle (well, probably Mauricio) found a stunning house for them to stay in.  Same kinda deal in Montauk.  Surprisingly there are no exceptional luxury accomodations anywhere to be found.  Sure, there are a few super expensive & wanna be considered "luxury", but they're not especially impressive.  Nah, if you've got buckets of unlimited dough, you'll rent a faboo private estate.  Those are aplenty.

This article claims they aren't even filming the new show in Montauk.  http://www.realitytea.com/2016/12/14/montauk-residents-show-summer-house-hasnt-even-aired-yet/  I guess this is suppose to be the big crossover.  Mondays show is two hours long with the kick off of the Summer House show.

Before Bethenny got rich she use to brag about the fact she selected Montauk as her Hamptons vacation spot.  Then she hit it big bought a $3.2 million in Bridgehampton and started questioning the location of others' Hamptons homes.

[ScoobieDoobs]

Ah, thanks for that link, ZM.  Now we have our explanation for the forgettable appearance of those idiot blondes.  Nothing even remorely memorable about their looks -- other than having neon-colored hair.

I was surprised the chucklefuck gals weren't staying at Gurney's, cuz that's THE place to stay out there.  It's OK, but nothing exceptional.  But it's the best place to stay in Montauk.  Bet they wouldn't let 'em film there.

You know, on one hand Stassi can really be a hoot to watch.  Her reaction to those various goons siddling up to her gave me a giggle.  But her jokey references to being an alcoholic?  Not funny, Stassi.  And pressuring ANYONE to drink is just not cool.  I'm very hot & cold with Stass.

[Sun-Bun]

3 hours ago, ScoobieDoobs said:

Ah, thanks for that link, ZM.  Now we have our explanation for the forgettable appearance of those idiot blondes.  Nothing even remorely memorable about their looks -- other than having neon-colored hair.

I was surprised the chucklefuck gals weren't staying at Gurney's, cuz that's THE place to stay out there.  It's OK, but nothing exceptional.  But it's the best place to stay in Montauk.  Bet they wouldn't let 'em film there.

You know, on one hand Stassi can really be a hoot to watch.  Her reaction to those various goons siddling up to her gave me a giggle.  But her jokey references to being an alcoholic?  Not funny, Stassi.  And pressuring ANYONE to drink is just not cool.  I'm very hot & cold with Stass.

I'm equally hot and cold on Stassi. I appreciate her humor when it does show up now and then, and I do enjoy her fashion/decor styling and even like her podcast on occasion, but she's been extra thirsty this season and it's just not a good look on her.

Not to mention what a demanding drama queen megalomaniac she is overall---I couldn't hang out with someone like her if I tried, especially with the way she can turn on her supposed friends so quickly((lest we forget two seasons ago when she dramatically told the entire cast she was "so over these horrible people.")). Her insane bathroom floor weepy shit-fit a few episodes ago kinda sealed the deal for my overall thoughts on her: bitch be cray.

Edited January 9, 2017 by Sun-Bun

[HunterHunted]

7 hours ago, zoeysmom said:

This article claims they aren't even filming the new show in Montauk.  http://www.realitytea.com/2016/12/14/montauk-residents-show-summer-house-hasnt-even-aired-yet/  I guess this is suppose to be the big crossover.  Mondays show is two hours long with the kick off of the Summer House show.

Before Bethenny got rich she use to brag about the fact she selected Montauk as her Hamptons vacation spot.  Then she hit it big bought a $3.2 million in Bridgehampton and started questioning the location of others' Hamptons homes.

I bet Bravo is going to try to pull the same stunt they pulled when they spun Vanderpump Rules off of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. They just had the episodes transition seemlessly into each other.

[zoeysmom]

2 hours ago, HunterHunted said:

I bet Bravo is going to try to pull the same stunt they pulled when they spun Vanderpump Rules off of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. They just had the episodes transition seemlessly into each other.

Actually the 2 hour is on Monday January 16th.  It seems they ar4e doing the same  It just doesn't seem like there is three parts to Montauk, they women look pretty bored.

[tvfanatic13]

^^ My tv guide says 2 hours for tonight.

[hoodooznoodooz]

I enjoyed Kristin balancing an orange (or grapefruit) on her head while someone else was using a cellphone.  

[PumpkinPK]

On Friday, January 06, 2017 at 7:36 AM, ghoulina said:

Oh my gosh, I would LOVE if Sandoval was cheating on Ariana with Lala. Only because something interesting needs to happen on this show! James is sober. Kristen seems to have had a lobotomy. Jax is domesticated and hanging curtains. Scwartz and Katie are sucking up half the season with their overpriced wedding. YAWN. 

Where is Laura-fucking-Lee????

Great post!  The above would make this show interesting again.  The chucklefucks "behaving" is so boring.  I have no desire to watch 30 something normal people in the food service industry.

The Katie wedding.  Thank goodness for fast forward.

[SuzWhat]

On 1/4/2017 at 0:40 AM, windtrix said:

I really tried to like this show or even hate-watch it, but these people are so vile and disgusting that I just can't do it anymore.

Come one @windtrix, quitters never win.  Just kidding.   We'll watch it and report back for you.  We got you!

[Judi Sunshine]

On 1/8/2017 at 10:33 PM, HunterHunted said:

I bet Bravo is going to try to pull the same stunt they pulled when they spun Vanderpump Rules off of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. They just had the episodes transition seemlessly into each other.

I never watched any Real Housewives, but would love to see this! Is it the whole gang, or just Scheana?

[HunterHunted]

15 minutes ago, Judi Sunshine said:

I never watched any Real Housewives, but would love to see this! Is it the whole gang, or just Scheana?

It's basically just Scheana, but now I'm curious to go back and watch that season to see if some of the SURvers are in the background. Part of LVP's storyline in season 3 was remodeling SUR, though I think the show might have framed it as opening her new restaurant SUR. SUR had actually been open for awhile. The other part of LVP's story was becoming friends with Brandi. When Brandi realized that Scheana still worked at Villa Blanca she had a fit. LVP sent Scheana home from work when they filmed with Brandi at Villa Blanca. I think there might have also been one episode when LVP pretextually had Scheana drop something off at her house when Brandi was there. Eventually, Scheana comes to LVP and says she wants to have a sit down with Brandi to apologize for the affair with Eddie. All of this is happening on RHoBH. They have the apology at the end of the episode of Real Housewives. Scheana gets up and walks out, the camera follows her, and suddenly we're in the first episode of Vanderpump Rules.

I wish the forums at TWoP had been preserved because there were 2 pages of posts that were some version of this: "what is this?!?!?!?!?"

This is why I think LVP is so ride or die for Scheana because LVP asked Scheana to be pilloried nationally for a couple of episodes of Beverly Hills to set up the spin off, Vanderpump Rules. LVP gets a producers credit and probably a salary bump and the spin-off only pays the SURvers $5,000 each for the entire first season.

[WhosThatGirl]

I completely agree, above post. LVP will always be Schenas ride or die because Schena put herself out there so she could get a show. I didn't watch real housewives nor do I now but I know the backstory.

I also know during that BTS special of season one vanderpump rules we got last year, Stassi and the others talked about how the first scene that shot was the brunch scene to make them feel more comfortable about filming and Schena stated she didn't get that luxury, her first time filming was the Brandi stuff. So yeah. I mean.. Schena is the main reason why Vanderpump is even a thing, and I swear that originally on the same BTS special Andy said they wanted to do a show at Villa Blanco but Lisa wanted SUR. Any reason for that? 

[HunterHunted]

On 1/11/2017 at 3:22 PM, WhosThatGirl said:

I completely agree, above post. LVP will always be Schenas ride or die because Schena put herself out there so she could get a show. I didn't watch real housewives nor do I now but I know the backstory.

I also know during that BTS special of season one vanderpump rules we got last year, Stassi and the others talked about how the first scene that shot was the brunch scene to make them feel more comfortable about filming and Schena stated she didn't get that luxury, her first time filming was the Brandi stuff. So yeah. I mean.. Schena is the main reason why Vanderpump is even a thing, and I swear that originally on the same BTS special Andy said they wanted to do a show at Villa Blanco but Lisa wanted SUR. Any reason for that? 

The reason LVP wanted SUR to be the setting is because she knew how incestuous the staff was there. I also suspect that because SUR is in West Hollywood that the staff is a little less professional than Villa Blanca's staff. Before the first episode even aired, this was the history of the chucklefucks:

• Peter has slept with Stassi and Katie.
• Sandoval and Kristen are dating and living together. They cheat on each other constantly. Sandoval has cheated on Kristen with Ariana.
• Stassi and Jax are dating and living together. They cheat on each other: Stassi with Frank and Jax with unknown women and a stripper in Las Vegas. Jax also used to date Kristen's and Stassi's friend, Rachel. He cheated on her too.
• Katie and Schwartz are dating and living together. Schwartz cheats on Katie. Katie used to bang Peter and has banged Kristen's future boyfriend Carter.
• Sandoval has been roommates with every one of the guys in that same crappy apartment, including DJ Muppet Baby for about a month.

Some of this has taken years for them to admit (like how Stassi was fucking Frank when she was with Jax), but this is their crazy messy history together. LVP had some sense of how messy the staff was and knew it was gold. I think Andy said they were still on the fence about the show until the producers showed Bravo the relationship diagram and then Bravo was sold. I don't even want to know what that diagram would look like now.

They really are an incestuous group. Of course Kristen would end up in her perfect relationship with a guy Katie has had sex with. Of course Frank would show up again peddling a sex tape of Stassi. Of course Scheana's wedding photographer would get into a fight with James at Pump and then film Ariana's cocktail video. I now know to pay attention to everyone who shows up and interacts with these morons because it will always turn into something years later.

This show is like watching the butterfly effect in action, for example: Jax and Tom Sandoval have a modeling job in Las Vegas. Jax sleeps with a stripper who ends up pregnant. Sandoval cheats on Kristen with Ariana. Jax tells Frank about the stripper. Stassi is cheating on Jax with Frank, but won't break up with Jax. Frank tells Stassi about Jax and the stripper. Stassi breaks up with Jax and kicks him out. Jax moves in with Sandoval and Kristen. Stassi is now with Frank. While together, Stassi makes a solo sex tape for Frank. Frank is fired and breaks up with Stassi. Ariana comes to work at SUR and Kristen flips out. Kristen starts hearing rumors (likely from Jax) that Sandoval cheated on her with Ariana. Kristen and Jax have sex. The Sandoval Ariana thing and the Jax Kristen thing come out at the end of season 2. Stassi quits SUR.

I could go on, but almost all of the action for season 1 and 2 is driven by Jax and Sandoval's inability to keep it in their pants during that modeling job.

Edited January 15, 2017 by HunterHunted

[runforcover]

On 1/3/2017 at 8:33 AM, ghoulina said:

Other than that, their trip seems way more fun, though. I just can't with Stassi and crew. They really are so hive minded. What, just because it's your birthday you get to micromanage what every other person does - from drinks to clothing to pool time? No. Scheana can be a tad OTT with her protestations, but as long as she's still hanging out and having a good time, who cares how much she drinks? I really hate that peer pressure drinking shit. You guys are all bloated and your skin looks like shit. So don't blame Scheana if she doesn't want to end up the same. 

 

Quote

As for where Lala really is? Don't care. She is shrouding herself in mystery so that everyone will be trying to guess what's going on, and I'm not having it. I just do NOT CARE. But I do think it was super shitty of her to bail last minute when she knew full well that Arianna had to buy a ticket in everyone's name. Fuck you, Lala. 

 

Agreed, Lala is not that great a character that she can get away with zero storyline.  

The thing with Scheanbag (who I actually adore more and more, as she morphs into to just a set of eyeballs) is that all of her weird alienating shit seems to be around consumption, period.  Total speculation obv,  but I'm just getting a typical eating disorder-y vibe. Nothing too serious, just the usual conspicuous hyper-control that pushes people away.  I mean they are all weirdos with weirdo regimens but they all share a lot of behaviours, thus actually qualifying them as a kind of community (I know).  There's just something very lonely about Scheanler right now.

EDIT: Guys, I'm an idiot! I blanked on Scheanski's hydroxycut gig 

Edited January 14, 2017 by runforcover

[goofygirl]

So apparently, working at SUR is  not even required to be on VR any more.  We now have Kristen, stASSi, Muppet Baby, and Schwartz who don't even work there...  Where in the hell are they going to film when the rest of them leave?

[Pachengala]

23 hours ago, HunterHunted said:

.Schwartz cheats on Katie

Whoa! Did we learn this on the show? Somehow I missed this and as a Katie-hater I want the deets!

[ghoulina]

I think he cheated on her in Vegas. Haven't all the guys cheated in Vegas? I believe the official word was that it was JUST "making out", but who knows.

[editorgrrl]

In February 2015, Katie said

http://hollywoodlife.com/2015/02/07/vanderpump-rules-katie-maloney-tom-schwartz-cheating-apology/

Quote

“For me, a lot of the reason why I could get past it was [because] there wasn’t a romantic relationship or affair. There were no emotions attached to it, drunken, sloppy make-out—that’s not a lot to get your panties in a twist about. You know? It’s really not, in my opinion. And I think cheating is so bad, and it’s really hurtful and damaging to relationships, but it happens. It happens to a lot of couples, and couples that have been together longer than we have,” Katie EXCLUSIVELY explained.

“I can have an understanding—as long as [he’s] not texting and telling someone that [he] loves them and misses them more than me, it’s fine. I’m not saying [he] should go out and do it again, but it’s really not the end of the world,” she added.

[HunterHunted]

7 hours ago, goofygirl said:

So apparently, working at SUR is  not even required to be on VR any more.  We now have Kristen, stASSi, Muppet Baby, and Schwartz who don't even work there...  Where in the hell are they going to film when the rest of them leave?

They'll have to find another alley to have drunken arguments in. Didn't LVP and Ken acquire that Chi Chi La Rue location that they are planning on turning into a gastropub. I'm sure that the former porn and dildo shop has to have a fantastic alley.

[chick binewski]

6 hours ago, editorgrrl said:

“I can have an understanding—as long as [he’s] not texting and telling someone that [he] loves them and misses them more than me, it’s fine.

She should really include this in her vows. 

[luleetuni]

This all happened during season 3, first it was a kiss years ago with a random girl, but denied sleeping with Tiffany's(jax's Vegas girlfriend) friend.  Later in the season, Jax gave his phone to kristen and Carmen and left a text up busting tom.  He didn't sleep with her friend but did make out with her.  The first accusation was made during the same time Katie was being accused of motorboating a d.

Edited January 15, 2017 by luleetuni

[ghoulina]

Holy shit, I forgot about the morotboating a d thing. Classic VPR.

[ExplainItAgain]

4 hours ago, ghoulina said:

Holy shit, I forgot about the morotboating a d thing. Classic VPR.

Please. She was just taking her shoes off!