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S06.E15: I Do!


Tara Ariano
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11 hours ago, poopchute said:

Amber saying this surgery is because her body never went back to the way it was before she had Leah.  She makes it sound like that's something that is beyond her control.  I'm not saying it's easy but it's been 7 years.  Most women have to work at it but she makes it sound like "oh well my body never went back" as if for most women it just "goes back" on its own.  She's a lazy fat fuck, the end.  

This is hilarious on its face. Amber was no slyph-like maiden who a breath would blow away before she had Leah. She was a very strapping, corn fed girl. She lost a lot of weight at one point (which she said was krav maga, but was actually drugs, right?). So this  "oh dear my body just isn't the slim supple one it was before I gave birth" is just another one of Amber's fantasies. If she says it enough it becomes true. I agree that she is lazy and looking for a quick fix. Love how she made it a point to say she was off the meds and was only taking ibuprofen. Sure you are, Amber.

11 hours ago, Brooklynista said:

So Maci bought all of this jewelry so her mom and Taylor could give it BACK to her in the name of a wedding gift right? Right?

And good on Taylor for getting a Rolex outta her.  If I've learned anything from  Kim of RHOA its to get tangible goods that retain value and be sold later if there's a breakup.  That's advanced hoeing.

Dying. @Brooklynista, advanced hoeing has undone me! hahahahahahahaha! 

10 hours ago, alexa said:

I loved Amber talking about her posh neighborhood to Leah and then how the next scene is them sitting in their garage!  Lol!  

I also noticed there was something wrong with one of Ryan's eyes at the end of the show so I guess that explains the sunglasses. I do feel bad for Ryan's girlfriend showing her underwear....

Poor Leah. You could see her hesitation to ask and that she was plucking up her courage. Amber doesn't give a damn about that darling little girl, its sickening.

I did not recognize Ryan at the wedding and said, out loud, "who the hell is that homeless guy?". He looks like shit. He was the "hot guy" just a few years ago. Amazing how fast he's gone to seed.

So--Matt thinks he's Howard Stern, I guess? He aims high, amirite? That's right Matt. Aspire.

What was up with Debra's dominatrix outfit?  She might have gotten away with it if it flattered her, but it fit poorly and accentuated her bony chest. Mutton dressed as lamb. Bet the boyfriend loved it though, huh? ("oh, you look so sexy, baby!"). He reminded me of Trump's doctor.

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Apparently I'm in the minority because I like Deb's new boyfriend. lol  Yes, his timing was inappropriate, but really so what?  For once, someone put Farrah in her place and she didn't have anything to say.  I don't care about the who, what, where, and/or when of it happening.  I just like that it happened.

How many times have we seen Farrah bringing up inappropriate stuff at inappropriate times?  Finally!  She got a dose of her own medicine and I like it!

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I gaurantee you I've spent the most time imagining the hilariously gross ways that doctor and Debra have sex. I'm sure he smells like cured meats, that he sweats so much the drips fall on her, and that there's a lot of farting once they fall asleep. Also, why did Simon say he's at the opera farting as loud as he wants and hooting and hollering as much as he wants? Was that some part of a conversation we missed where he was telling them about how he likes the opera and farting? Because that seems like a bizarre random assertion otherwise. 

3 minutes ago, Pepper Mostly said:

 

So--Matt thinks he's Howard Stern, I guess? He aims high, amirite? That's right Matt. Aspire.

And yes, since he stole the idea for the book cover.

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Best part of this episode was hearing Dr. Jen telling N-B Farrah she has to stop verbally attacking her mother.  Glad to see somebody finally tell her, she has no right treating Deb, her Dad, Simon,the MTV production crew, her employees or anyone who dares displease her, like garbage. I especially enjoyed seeing Dr J's words leave "I'm Better Than All of You Stupid People, FA speechless.

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I'm sure the plastic surgery cured all of Amber's issues. Not! She needs to focus on herself and being a Mom to Leah. Why can't she see that Matt is doing nothing for her? 

 

Maci: Your wedding to Taylor was great. I wish you a happy life together. 

Cate: Please get real help.

Farrah: You and your Mom will never be able to fix your relationship until you admit your faults in this. Stop bringing in fake therapists like Dr. Jenn who only want fame. 

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8 hours ago, iheartla said:

Amber is such a bitch. Your child is asking why you live so far away and you say well because we live in an area where lots of people want to live. BTW, why does Amber always say "Leah's schooling?" instead of school, is that an Indiana thing? Gary does it too.

I think they say "Leah's schooling" because they think it makes them sound intelligent.  They are trying to sound smarter than they are.

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2 hours ago, AirQuotes said:

 

Apparently I'm in the minority because I like Deb's new boyfriend. lol  Yes, his timing was inappropriate, but really so what?  For once, someone put Farrah in her place and she didn't have anything to say.  I don't care about the who, what, where, and/or when of it happening.  I just like that it happened.

How many times have we seen Farrah bringing up inappropriate stuff at inappropriate times?  Finally!  She got a dose of her own medicine and I like it!

 

I guess, for me, I didn't get the sense that he was doing it because he was really outraged by Farrah's behavior. I felt like he just wanted his five minutes. I'd rather someone genuine call Farrah to task. He appears just as bad as the rest of them. And his uber-long hug had me all kinds of uncomfortable. Keep him away from Sophia!

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I'm not too impressed with Amber's plastic surgeon's ethics.  Any doc with the best interests of his patients in mind would not accept a patient like Amber who wanted to fix her depression with surgery.  Until the plastic surgery craze of the past decade, plastic surgeons wouldn't even accept a patient who wanted surgery on those grounds, but I guess any reason is good enough now and doctors are more concerned with making a name for themselves, building their practices, and making money than they are concerned about the welfare of their patients.  

In less than 5 years, Amber's body is going to be right back where it was before the surgery (not that it was drastically changed with the surgery, anyway!) and she's still going to have the same depression and image issues she's always had.  Her problem isn't her body, it's her brain.   

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I hate the producer that's working with Amber and Matt. She laughed uproariously at everything they said like they are so freaking funny. What an ass kisser.

I wonder if Amber thinks lipo works forever. Any chub she got sucked out will be back in 3 months. I'm guessing that surgery was around 20 grand. Have fun trying to pay that once the gravy train ends.

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On 11/24/2016 at 11:46 PM, bethster2000 said:
13 hours ago, deefizzle said:

Yeah what was UP with Ryan's eyes at the wedding?! One was all squinted up while the other was ready to pop out of his head!

And he wore sunglasses during the ceremony at the church.  Not only was it tacky, but he looked ridiculous.  I wonder what kind of nonsensical explanation they're going to come up with to explain his eyes this time.   I wonder if his family actually believes his ridiculous explanations, like he's just tired.  BS.  

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3 hours ago, Uncle JUICE said:

I gaurantee you I've spent the most time imagining the hilariously gross ways that doctor and Debra have sex. I'm sure he smells like cured meats, that he sweats so much the drips fall on her, and that there's a lot of farting once they fall asleep. Also, why did Simon say he's at the opera farting as loud as he wants and hooting and hollering as much as he wants? Was that some part of a conversation we missed where he was telling them about how he likes the opera and farting? Because that seems like a bizarre random assertion otherwise. 

And yes, since he stole the idea for the book cover.

Deb's boyfriend mentioned they were going to the opera after dinner.

I found it odd that Simon was saying Deb seems happier with the new boyfriend, but afterwards he was saying the dude is a con artist. Why then play into his con artist ways by telling him how much happier Deb is since meeting him?

I guess Simon changed his tune about the dude after he and Farrah were called out for the engagement ring bullshit.

Edited by GreatKazu
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33 minutes ago, Trampolina said:

I hate the producer that's working with Amber and Matt. She laughed uproariously at everything they said like they are so freaking funny. What an ass kisser.

AND her name is, for some reason, "Kerthy." I think I hate all the producers, for varied and valid reasons, including that this one's named Kerthy and dresses like a artisanel fromager from Portlandia. 

3 minutes ago, GreatKazu said:

Deb's boyfriend mentioned they were going to the opera after dinner.

 

Did he? What an asshole. 

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3 minutes ago, Snarky McSnarky said:

How much have property values declined on that street since Amber and Matt moved in?  Between the dogs running loose and those two camped out in that open garage, not to mention the film crew, the neighbors must be thrilled.  

Beverlyhillbilliestruck-4.jpg

My thoughts exactly.  We have some ritzy communities in our town, and there have been occasional complaints (info gleaned via facebook and other gossip) that people judge eachother for kids' toys left outside and the condition of the neighbors' lawns.  Amber & Matt's neighbors must love them sitting in the garage (I just feel like said garage is always open).  It must just brighten up their posh neighborhood!

I know I'm generalizing, I'm sure that there are very nice non-judgmental ritzy-neighborhood dwellers.  However, I will probably never know this firsthand. 

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I don't get why they're always filming in the garage in those literal six dollar soccer chairs. I thought the whole point of moving into that house was to live the fancy life, maybe the landlord didn't want a film crew traipsing through there all the time. Or maybe Kerthy was like "The overwhelming stench of dog shit makes filming in there intolerable. Limit it to the car and someplace where the air circulates." 

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To start with the positive, I loved Maci's dress and their vows seemed very sweet and heartfelt.  I am happy for them.  I also liked the color and styles of the bridesmaid dresses.  But OMG, seriously, a ROLEX?!?!   That is just way over the top and obviously meant to impress the viewers.  Teen Mom indeed.

I'm fascinated watching Farrah turn her horrifying personality on and off.  I had noticed before that when she is on other shows like with Dr. Phil and Dr. Jenn she "acts" like she is making some sort of progress and comprehends what people are telling her.  Then, it evaporates as soon as she is with her family or close friends.  The dinner with mom/boyfriend was all sorts of whack.  I suspect Debra set up the boyfriend to ambush Farrah by saying all the things Debra wanted to  but was afraid to say.  Pretty sick & twisted, but sadly normal for this lot. 

Clearly Amber wants to be Marilyn (Monroe) 2.0.  So Matt did a photo shoot for his book cover with Amber the day before her surgery.  Then, what, did he do another (semi nude) shoot without her while she was in the hospital?  Those two really do deserve each other.  Along with others here I have noticed Amber saying how happy she and Matt are, while at the same time looking sad with dead eyes.  Girl really could benefit in many ways by getting up off of and moving her @ss. 

And Catelynn, PLEASE don't have any more Carly's.  Tyler's hair when it's all slicked back looks positively plastic. 

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Maci is not one of my faves and by the time she’s my age she’s probably going to look like she’s 90, but I enjoyed her wedding. Her dress wasn’t bad, although I wish she’d covered up the tattoo but hopefully the photographer will clean up some of the images. The bridesmaid dresses were pretty and a lovely color. I also like the fact that she and Tayler have a good group of close friends instead of hangers-on like some of the other girls. Chelsea in Teen Mom 2 is another one with real, long-term friends. The moment when her mother gave her the pearls, which I hope have been in the family and were not purchased by Maci, was touching. Loved Larry running for the open bar and talking about how wonderful marriage is.

Does anyone know what the hell has happened to Ryan? Does he have some sort of disability because of all of his drug use? He looks like something’s definitely not right. So sad, too, because as someone else noted, he was one of the few hot ones, and Bentley deserves a better father. Maybe he’s on opioids?

Gary may be the farthest thing from a sexpot, but he makes beautiful children. I noticed last night how much Leah and Emilee look alike, so it must come from him. Poor Leah. She’s tired of the stupid commute and Amber’s response to the distance was total crap. But our little girl is a smart one, which is why she has allowed herself to grow so close to Christina. She knows real mothering when she sees it and that it’s not coming from the couch potato who bore her.

I also don’t like the producers who work with Amber and Matt because they are complete enablers. If they cared about her they’d say, Girl, you in danger. In addition to being a rotten mother, Amber is a very bad friend. She knew about that wedding and missed it to have unnecessary surgery that could have waited. Anyway, when Matt is gone, Amber is going to totally lose it along with any financial security she might have had. In the meantime, Matt’s living his Teen Mom dream.

Caitlyn and Tyler. What can one say? They are so sad. Were the editors throwing shade when she said Nova was tired and sleeping and the cameras cut to her smiling for once in her short life, having fun in the crib away from her terrible parents?

Tyler cracked me up talking about how she might get pregnant at the wedding. I bet he taps that as infrequently as possible. Caitlyn needs to go to that Dr. Jen chick, who may be in it for the fame but at least tries to keep it real from the little I’ve seen. I loved it when she asked Farrah if she’s paying Debra for the privilege of being “allowed” to help out on her many projects. And also told her how offensive she is when she talks to people.

Farrah had better watch out because it seems as though Sophia is gravitating more to Debra, who while a bit off of her rocker, is a kinder, gentler person than the banchee that is her mother. As for Debra’s doctor dude, loved how he gave Farrah a much-needed read although the timing was a bit off. And the hug he gave Farrah before leaving for the opera was very creepy. Also liked how Simon told her she was just making shit up. More people like to be honest with this chick because she has gone way over the top with the way she treats people.

It was a good episode overall and I wish Maci and Taylor much love and luck. They need to get some “real jobs,” though, as my mother would say. Having three children is not cheap.

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14 hours ago, Christi said:

Jerry Garcia Medical Marajuana ...Dr. Feelgood throws on a suit...

Wow lololol

I'm crying!! A match made in musical heaven, because Deb sure was channeling Whitney, circa "It's Not Right, But it's Okay." I hope Farrah let's Jerry name a  new Froco flavor.BVQU8H6IQAAUynd.jpg

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Damn. You. Maci. I love me some Josh Abbott and the closest I got to him playing at my wedding was giving the DJ a copy of some of his songs I downloaded off iTunes. I was actually skipping the wedding segments, but I clicked too soon and saw them playing. Again, damn you Maci. Other than that the glimpses of the wedding did look nice and when I went back to see Ryan's girlfriend flash everyone I caught Larry's speech and it was cute--in a slightly drunken way.

That's pretty much it. Everyone else is a waste of space and I hope their kids turn out OK despite their separate but equally sad upbringings (minus Leah's time with Gary).

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6 hours ago, Uncle JUICE said:

FREE AT LAST. Holy shit, it's finally over. 

I have to admit I only watched like 28 minutes of this actual show because I simply refuse to participate in the wedding nonsense. Which means I basically watched only the Farrah and Amber segments, because even C&T were wrapped up in the wedding stuff. Obvious highlight was the dinner between Dr. Bruce Vilanche / Jerry Garcia, his Fifty Shades of Crazy lovah Debra, Blondie Asschest and "I can't believe I'm about to sincerely say" Poor Simon. I love Simon, he is just entirely over this crap, but is glad to get paid to go be the voice of the viewer. The way he reacted to their post - dinner conference was hilarious, basically fuck you, I don't have any interest in you romantically (but if you want to blow me, I'm down), this guy is weird and you're mom's set up AGAIN to give out her bank routing numbers and end up more miserable. He knows Farrah's never going to be happy as sure as he knows her hair volume once again changed in a really disgusting looking way. And who goes to meet their mom's boyfriend with their tits THAT exposed? This isn't the Source Awards, it's a cheesecake factory outside of Austin. 

That doctor, what's he a doctor OF? Because it can't be anything scientific, right? I mean could you imagine him talking to you about serious health concerns looking like a resident of Middle Earth? If you go with that hair, you can't also have the job of saying "I think we caught it early enough." He has to be like a college professor doctor, right? And even that has to be in like dead languages / Philosophy of the Byzantine Empire sort of worthless in real life classes (Said the guy who has an English degree, hello kettle). But he should in no way have broached the engagement ring topic, he should havenever brought up the show, and he DEINITELY shouldn't have gone for that waaaaay, too long hug at the end. I just imagine him thrusting his pelvis onto Farrah's thigh, smelling her extensions, and getting a half chub on. It almost made me feel for Farrah, but then I remembered she's one of the five worst people America has produced in the last five years. It's really clear she has no interest in Sophia, because I don't know anyone with a seven year old who still talks to her the way Farrah does. My wittoo beebee boo, SOOOO BIG! SOOOOOO BIG! Show that kid some respect. 

And if you're serious about Therapy, maybe do it off camera, for realsies. They flew Dr. Jen to Austin, reserved a spot in the back f some coffee shop I hope, or rented out an old warehouse, bought a bunch of old books from the hipster used book store so the atmosphere looked more academic (this is far more likely), and Farah walked into the "It sounds entitled" thing. Then they returned the books. 

Amber: lots of mommies don't like their body after babies (though in fairness, seven plus years is no longer "after babies"). Amber HAD a slimmer figure right before she went to jell, though. She just ate to feel good and now she's 50 pounds heavier. So the answer: surgery. God I hope she ends up llooking more monstrous when she puts weight back on AND has all that plastic, because you know that's how this story ends. 

The award for the greatest post of all time goes to....Uncle Juice!

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Nothing summarizes Farrah better than her statement that she "allows" people to help her with her projects.  I had a family member who hired household help, treated them like shit, and then was flabbergasted each time one of them quit without notice and wouldn't return his calls.  He just couldn't understand why they didn't want to return to work and be yelled at and berated all day in return for sub-minimum wage compensation.

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15 hours ago, Meatball said:

Original Catelynn VO: We're going to Maci's wedding in a week so since my mom is already taking care of NotCarly, we decided to leave her there and we'll see her when we see her.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Either I'm really tired today or this is absolutely hilarious.  The carefree shrug is the icing on the cake (and pretty damn accurate).

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I was horrified by all the various kinds of inappropriate at that dinner with Debra's new man. Farrah's tits are always slightly alarming to me generally, but putting them on display in a family restaurant might cause patrons to lose their appetites. Deb's outfit makes me wonder if she's into BDSM and that dude is her Dom.

But HE broke all the records for inappropriate dinner convo with your gf's adult daughter. Immediately apparent he too is a fame whore and wanted to make sure the scene was included in the final cut for the episode. Simon called it 100% on target afterwards: he "negs" Farrah to make her cry and then brings her in for unwilling fake bonding.

I have no great love for Farrah but I sense this scene has been played out before. Farrah's face when she came in following her tits, you could tell she was practically gritting her teeth trying to make conversation with this guy. She was at least going to TRY to have a nice dinner with them. This is when we are getting acquainted, making first impressions, but he goes on the attack, below the belt, right away. OK, he may be 100% right about everything he said to her, but as a total stranger, 1) it's not his place to say, and 2) this is absolutely not the time for this kind of convo. And that extremely inappropriate and lengthy hug -- ugh! How she managed to stand there and allow it without puking on his shoulder, I do not know.

But what was strangest about this strange scene to me was the way Farrah reacted -- or I should say didn't react. As he went on attack, she limply backhanded him some rebukes, but seemed caught off guard, and you know Farrah is NEVER caught off guard. I was waiting for her other head to come out and blast him, but she remained strangely human, like she really didn't have the energy to defend herself. And then when she finally decided she'd had enough of this asshole and got up to make a dramatic exit, he leaps up and blocks her way by grabbing her and hugging her. PERSONAL SPACE INVASION on a magnitude 9.9. And she stood there and took it! I would have pushed that fucker away and said: "Take your hands off me please now," and if he didn't, I would have kneed him in the fucking groin. She stood there and allowed that insulting inappropriate asshole to handle her.

Simon is right: he insults her, attacks her, breaks her down and makes her cry with "negs" -- and then forces her to hug him -- classic abuser behavior. I doubt if Farrah or Debra realize this, but I suspect this is not the first time this dynamic has been played out.

Edited by lidarose9
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17 minutes ago, Booger666 said:

Deb's BF lives in Marquette?!  That is way, way up there. I wonder how much time those two have actually spent together. 

Since slavemaster, Farrah, doesn't give her mother time off from hauling trees around her yard and schlepping frozen yogurt - probably a total of 2 days. 

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This doctor boyfriend seems like a sleaze but I loved him saying to Farrah's face what so many people have wanted to say. Simon is just jealous he has competition and Farrah can't handle that she can't control him by holding her daughter or her pocketbook over him. 

Amber looks worse now. She never had small boobs but now they're cartoon big and make her look like she's bigger. She definitely does not look slimmer. And the Marilyn hair and makeup are just hilarious. And that cover photo shoot? Hilarious they did it before the surgery, it also isn't the cover, and Matt is so immature and disgusting. Flipping off the camera is what edgy 15 year olds do, not grown men who honestly have moved past caring about "the haters."

Someone earlier commented on Maci and Taylor having a good group of friends, and I agree. They don't seem like they're just around for the camera and I bet they're a fun group to hang out with. I thought their vows were also cute without being the over-the-top-sappiness-sentimental-try-hard you got from Tyler. I love that Ryan's parents are so supporting of Maci and I bet a part of them wishes that she was with Ryan. 

Tyler and Catelynn are boring. I feel bad for Catelynn and how she looks on national TV. The purple hair could be cute if she kept up her hair, but she's just all around sloppy.

Edited by DoctorWhovian
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1 hour ago, ktwo said:

Maci, who is the thoroughbred of this stable, interrupted her husband's vows to announce "He's got balls" to God and everybody during her wedding ceremony. Aaaaaaaaaagh.

I thought she said "Go Vols", since she was from Tenn. But then, I tuned out a lot.

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Debra's boyfriend Dr. Creepy hugging Farrah and then physically holding her there while he had his say was all sorts of triggering.  Just, no.  You DO NOT get to physically restrain someone just because they are smaller than you and because you have something paternal and gross to say to them.  No. No. NO.

Of course Debra loved hearing her man reading the two of them. She was like the cat that ate the canary. In case you were wondering Debra, the appropriate emotion there is closer to mortified.

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2 hours ago, Sgt Pepper said:

The picture.  Pure class. 

I swear, there's a picture in a dusty box somewhere of me and my fellow sixth graders from 100 years ago, making that same face and flashing our middle fingers.  My GOD, we were so gritty and dangerous (until my mother saw it and took my TV privileges and Walkman away for the night for being so rude)!  Grow the fuck up, Matt.  When the cameras are gone, he is so outta there, on to the next emotionally damaged "mother" with a few dollars in her pocket. 

Edited by SuzyLee
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Matt has a very high opinion of himself. No one in their right mind would pay more than $.25 for his novel lol.

Taylor's vows were all about Maci. Maci's vows were also all about Maci. Odd. You are supposed to talk about your love for the other person, not about yourself. I liked her dresses and her friends have been on the show many times before. We don't see that with the others.  Farrah has not had a friend on in years.

Larry sometimes seems like he's half in the bag but I think he & Jen are good to Maci and I loved his speech about how much he loves his wife.

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When does Riine's caregiver flash eveyone?   I kind of fast forwarded through the Maci scenes...  help a girl out, please.  Don't make me watch this mess twice. 

Edited:  nevermind.  I saw it. It is when she catches the bouquet.  Bless her heart.  ❤️️

Edited by SuzWhat
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Do we think Tyler have never been to another wedding other than his own?  He kept repeating that he was excited to go to a wedding that wasn't his own.  And he was looking forward to drinking FOR FREE!  They probably didn't have an open bar at their wedding, but why was that such an attraction for them?  I don't go to a wedding and think that I'm getting to have a meal and drink all night FOR FREE!  Is it just that he hasn't been to a lot of weddings - or any?

Ryan's girlfriend flashing her undies not once, but twice, was most unfortunate!  But seriously, her dress was THAT short???  Yikes!  

I did like Farrah getting called out by Dr. Jenn and Dr. Feelgood.  I don't have any opinion on Debra's doctorfriend other than the fact that he must be a little strange to willingly get involved with the Abraham/Danielson bunch.   Simon was also an unlikely voice of reason with Farrah, too.  

Also another unlikely voice of reason?  Leah!

Edited by Marisagf
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4 hours ago, CourtneyCourt said:

Me too. He mentioned something about playing against Georgia and I know they are Tennessee fans. 

She did say "Go Vols" (TN) and he did mention Georgia ['Dawgs]. Those teams played October 1st and Vols won. I think they got married on Oct 8, correct? If so, that would probably be the last game they watched before their wedding day. It was a close game. 

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So what happened with Butch?  Do we know if he really violated his parole or was he back on drugs?  I don't know if they mentioned it again.  

I'm pretty sure Taylor has already had 4000 more haircuts than I have.  

"That's in front of my face." --Amber.   OMG line of the night.  

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