S05.E02: What Went Down

[itainttippithebird]

Quote

I feel like this is the first season where everything seems very obviously set-up. Maybe it's just that I recently rewatched the first two season, but everything is too slick and too shiny

Agreed - this whole Jax thing seems like a storyline he's pretty obviously springing on Brit in the name of show drama. After Kristen's TH this week, I'm now pretty convinced she's in on it and will eventually be "admitting" it in coming weeks.

Which then took me back to the whole Jax/Kristen boning thing, and suddenly I was like, wait, maybe they also made THAT up, that would make so much more sense....and then my poor reality TV loving brain exploded and I had to be put to bed.

P.S. Someone should tell James that just because an apartment's on the top floor, that does not a penthouse make.

[Duke2801]

17 hours ago, DrSparkles said:

What is James talking about?! He is NOT good looking, he is repulsive.

a mid-week wedding kind of makes sense since they're in the restaurant biz?

Yeah mid-week weddings are becoming a "thing" all around.  I've had friends schedule destination weddings on Wednesdays and Thursdays simply for the cost factor (not the convenience factor, that's for sure)

12 hours ago, ninjago said:

What would it take for Kristin to stop getting so drunk all the time?

Getting knocked up?  And even that isn't a guarantee with her, sadly.

[Tara Ariano]

In case you missed it, here's the Previously.TV post on the episode!

Vanderpump Rules Goes To The Dogs

Also, it's World Dog Day.

[ghoulina]

19 hours ago, Princess Sparkle said:

I don't believe Jax for a second. I believe Kristen and Brittany made out, but I think he made up the "go down on" story hoping that Brittany would get so mad that she'd break up with him so he wouldn't have to

I don't know why I didn't think of this before, but YES. This has to be it. Jax has had nothing but palpable annoyance at her presence since she arrived in CA. I totally believe he's trying to get her to leave. Thank you!

 

16 hours ago, Rebecca said:

Brittany is looking really unattractive to me. Not just the extra weight but she just looks dumpy. She extra looked terrible in the scene saying bye to Scheana and Shay.

Her hair is healthy, but too heavy for her face, IMO. Also, she's one of those people who gain weight, but keep dressing for their old size. Brittany is in no way HUGE, she just needs to flatter the shape she has, not the one she wants. 

[Madame Helvetica]

On 11/15/2016 at 10:41 AM, bichonblitz said:

I'm all for loving your mom, but seriously , LaLa talks to her mom 4 times a day? I work with women and have friends that talk to their grown adult kids every single day and I just don't get it. What the hell is there to say?  Especially 4 times??

 

I've wondered the same thing! "Oh hey mom! I was wondering what you think I should do for dinner? Spaghetti? Sounds good! What would I do without your unfailing support?!" I don't get it either ... though I also get annoyed when my husband calls me during the day while I'm at work and asks what I'm doing. Uh, working? (And reading snark on the interwebs.)

[JenE4]

1 hour ago, ghoulina said:

I don't know why I didn't think of this before, but YES. This has to be it. Jax has had nothing but palpable annoyance at her presence since she arrived in CA. I totally believe he's trying to get her to leave. Thank you!

Hmmm. The more I think about this... Every on-TV girlfriend has broken up with him, right? (Exception I think he dumped Laura-Leigh--but even that he MAY have driven her to dump him, I don't recall.) Jax definitely seems like the kind of person who's in love with the idea of being in love--even when he's not acting very loving (i.e., faithful, respectful) to his girlfriends. All of his relationships are very tumultuous, and yet that's never a deal-breaker from his side; he's in it until he gets dumped. Boy, I have a friend who would be perfect for him! She thinks the more they "fight for her" (I.e. fight WITH her), the more the guy loves her, and then she's always shocked when the guy eventually dumps her because they fight so much. The only time she dumps a guy is if he's nice and they DON'T fight because that's boring. sigh. Now I'm full circle thinking he might not be trying to make Brittany dump him. This is status quo relationship behavior for him.

[WhosThatGirl]

I think Jax didn't exactly break up with Laura Leigh but I do recall him having a "this is moving too fast" talk and then kind of forcing her hand when he refused to talk to her or take her calls. Because you are right, he's not the bad guy! These women just don't understand him. 

[Subie5]

Didn't Jazz breakup with Laura Leigh right after she brought him to one of her AA meetings?

[Rebecca]

26 minutes ago, Subie5 said:

Didn't Jazz breakup with Laura Leigh right after she brought him to one of her AA meetings?

Pretty sure that's right. I think he was all, "this is going too, fast too quickly" after they talked about how they spent 24/7 together for a few weeks. I think he could dump LL because he was still all about Stassi at that time anyway.

Edited November 17, 2016 by Rebecca

[chick binewski]

Well, Laura-Leigh (I believe the hyphen is required by SAG) didn't realize safe spaces lose their power when you invite Jax into them. She divulged pawning her family's belongings for drugs and Jax got this dear-in-headlights look. I guess he feared all his ill gotten gains from SUR were at risk if Laura Leigh relapsed.

VPR is set in an area that's not unfamiliar with rehab. Why do people continue to say things out loud like 'my husband is an addict but I don't want him to stop drinking!' or 'I can't handle my alcohol can I have a pinot grigio?'

I thought Joyce looked great at doggy fest. I didn't mind her & I liked her husband.

[hoodooznoodooz]

James using a hoverboard to answer the door pretty much says it all.

I enjoyed Schwartz finding Katie being so sensible a "turn on."

Argh. Christina Hendricks on WWHL believes Jax.

[Diane Mars]

So, I believe Jax ! Yep ! Dunno why, but I believe him !

Was also quite schocked with the scene with Lala and her mother and the Pinot Grigio thing... It was like some old friends of mine : "I really have to stop doing coke... OK, let's have a line..." Scary.

[HunterHunted]

2 hours ago, Diane Mars said:

So, I believe Jax ! Yep ! Dunno why, but I believe him !

Was also quite schocked with the scene with Lala and her mother and the Pinot Grigio thing... It was like some old friends of mine : "I really have to stop doing coke... OK, let's have a line..." Scary.

Well crack is clearly unhealthy because it's so damaging on your lungs when you smoke it, but a line of cocaine...that's practically vitamins.

I mostly believe Jax. That's basically how the cheating on Tom with Jax occurred. They were blitzed. Tom was passed out in the bedroom. Kristen and Jax made out and she went down Jax. He returned the favor. In this occurrence, Carter was passed out in the living room and Kristen and Brittany were in the bedroom. If there is an exaggeration, I feel like maybe Kristen was making out Brittany and finger banging her.

I think Brittany is proclaiming that it didn't happen because she doesn't want him telling their friends and doesn't want it on tv for her family to see. Remember, her mom is the big Vanderpump Rules fan.

[AbsoluteShower]

Anybody else want to bet that James' mantra when he is in his 'zen area' (aka the balcony) is either "White Kanye" or "Coachella"?

It's either that, or "I am a colossal bell-end"

[psychoticstate]

On 11/15/2016 at 9:39 PM, ninjago said:

What would it take for Kristin to stop getting so drunk all the time?

Prohibition? 

On 11/16/2016 at 10:08 AM, LucyHoneychrrch said:

I would like a Tom1 and Tom2 spinoff.

That I would be down for (no pun intended) but only if Flat Iron cuts his hair.  Can't believe the Nugget was so offended by that bacon tattoo but is okay with this . . . situation on his head.  

Brittany is a pretty girl but she's clearly becoming Jaxmatized.  

What does StASSi do for income?   Anything besides being a Vanderpump Tool? 

[WhosThatGirl]

Stassi has a podcast which she may get paid for? I just don't think she's allowed to talk about on the show? I don't even know. The reality show situation is confusing. I remember when The Hills aired, the show tried very hard to not let us know that the participants in it were becoming semi famous and getting their pictures in magazines and getting endorsements. It may be harder to control that now because of social media so I don't know if the show wants us to know that Stassi has a podcast as her job. It sort of blends reality. I assume she gets paid for it as I do listen and she has sponsors for it and she has to go away and promote it and do upfronts. 

[Diane Mars]

2 hours ago, HunterHunted said:

Well crack is clearly unhealthy because it's so damaging on your lungs when you smoke it, but a line of cocaine...that's practically vitamins.

--> no... When it's more than 3grams a day.... And even it's a "good" one, it damages your lungs a lot. And your kidneys too...

 

... I think Brittany is proclaiming that it didn't happen because she doesn't want him telling their friends and doesn't want it on tv for her family to see. Remember, her mom is the big Vanderpump Rules fan.

--> for my part, I think that she's "sincere too"... as she blanked out... For me, that's the only thing which makes sense.

[ghoulina]

1 hour ago, psychoticstate said:

What does StASSi do for income?  

Her boyfriend. 

[HunterHunted]

@Diane Mars, I was joking. I think we're all aware of just how dangerous cocaine is at least based on Len Bias, Charlie Sheen, and Whitney Houston.

[AnnieBananie]

Whether or not Kentucky Muffin-gate actually happened, Brittany is upset by all the discussion (and it was especially not okay for Tom Sandoval to bring it up in front of LVP). Jax's only appropriate move here is to say to Brittany, "If this topic upsets you, I'm sorry. I won't discuss it again."

But of course, this is Jax, so...

[teapot]

Does anyone know what that Princess Water was that Katie brought to Stassi? I've tried to Google it but not having luck

[straightshooter]

I'm another Jax believer, I have to admit.  It's the first time I've EVER believed him about anything, but I really think he's telling the truth, and he's a massive asshole for it.   I think he's doing it because he was jealous, although he keeps saying that he wasn't and that he doesn't consider it cheating if she's with another girl.  That part, I do NOT believe.  He's a crappy liar.   It's an underhanded, cold-hearted revenge move, in my opinion. 

I agree with the posters who said Brittany is just denying it to protect her family and her reputation.  I agree and I can't blame her.  Many of us have done things while wasted that we don't want advertised to the world.   I'd do what I could to avoid hurting my family or worrying them if I were in her situation.  I'd also dump the piece of shit "boyfriend" who threw me under the bus.   She can't really be shocked, though - she knew what she was getting into.   I think he's served his purpose by now, though.  Lisa said it herself - Brittany's a better employee than he is.  I think she has a shot at sticking around even if they do break up.  The girls sure do think the world of her.  

[methodwriter85]

Quote

Prohibition? 

I'm pretty sure Kristin would have fucked every known bootlegger in a 5-mile radius just to get her hands on booze if she had to live in the 1920's.

[Princess Sparkle]

6 hours ago, teapot said:

Does anyone know what that Princess Water was that Katie brought to Stassi? I've tried to Google it but not having luck

Stassi said on Twitter that it's Rose water from the LA Juice shop. I'm guessing she and Katie call it "princess water" because it's pink. 

[teapot]

3 hours ago, Princess Sparkle said:

Stassi said on Twitter that it's Rose water from the LA Juice shop. I'm guessing she and Katie call it "princess water" because it's pink. 

http://www.lajuiceshop.com/cleanmarket1/bulgarian-rose-water

 

hmmm, bottle online's not quite as pretty, but it can be ours for thirty bucks!!!  (mr. would be looking at me like I'm hitting a crack pipe for spending $30 on one bottle)

[Princess Sparkle]

21 minutes ago, teapot said:

http://www.lajuiceshop.com/cleanmarket1/bulgarian-rose-water

 

hmmm, bottle online's not quite as pretty, but it can be ours for thirty bucks!!!  (mr. would be looking at me like I'm hitting a crack pipe for spending $30 on one bottle)

Oh no, it's not that one.  It's on their juice menu.  I mean, it's still overpriced but not as expensive as that.

[AbsoluteShower]

13 minutes ago, Princess Sparkle said:

Oh no, it's not that one.  It's on their juice menu.  I mean, it's still overpriced but not as expensive as that.

Stassi drinking a mood enhancer! A MOOD ENHANCER!! So many lolz...

[OnceSane]

1 hour ago, AbsoluteShower said:

Stassi drinking a mood enhancer! A MOOD ENHANCER!! So many lolz...

It didn't work.

I lean to believing Jax, but what a douchenozzle.  But Brittany must have approved this storyline (maybe in order to get their spin-off), so I'm side-eying her too. 

[StevieRocks]

Why did fugly Vyle Richards have to come clomping up with her thirsty ass? Ugh. Go back to the Real Hags of BH, Vyle.

[Marley]

What? I don't remember seeing Kyle?

[Princess Sparkle]

Kyle was on very briefly; if you blinked, you probably missed her.  She gave Lisa a hug at Lisa's event, but I don't think we saw her after that.

[nexxie]

Seems Lisa's doggie day was doing double duty - look for it on RH of Beverly Hills.

[Diane Mars]

On 18/11/2016 at 0:19 AM, HunterHunted said:

@Diane Mars, I was joking. I think we're all aware of just how dangerous cocaine is at least based on Len Bias, Charlie Sheen, and Whitney Houston.

Sorry, I didn't got it, because there are so many uninformed people (EDIT : I was mostly thinking about IRL life), that I thought you were one of them ! Apologizes.

Edited November 19, 2016 by Diane Mars

[HunterHunted]

On Friday, November 18, 2016 at 1:50 AM, methodwriter85 said:

I'm pretty sure Kristin would have fucked every known bootlegger in a 5-mile radius just to get her hands on booze if she had to live in the 1920's.

I'm pretty sure the only thing that would stop her is a Hannibal Lecter mask, a straight jacket, and 4 point restraints.

I don't know if you saw the behind the scenes special about season 1. It was interesting/ horrifying to hear from the producers about the cast' priorities for spending their money. The priorities were:

1. booze;

2. clothing, hair products, and make up

3. Everything else (food, rent, utilities, car payments, car insurance, student loans and parking tickets)

This cast is stupid drunk all of the time.

One of the things that I think is interesting about the Kristen and Brittany tryst is that this is almost exactly what happened when Kristen and Jax hooked up. In that situation, Tom passed out in his bed and Kristen went down on Jax. Here, Carter passed out on the sofa and Kristen went down on Brittany in the bedroom. A drunken Jax discovers them in bedroom. Jax is sort of in a quasi Sandoval role.

4 hours ago, Diane Mars said:

Sorry, I didn't got it, because there are so many uninformed people (EDIT : I was mostly thinking about IRL life), that I thought you were one of them ! Apologizes.

It's ok. I'm a fairly cynical person. I've been working on behavioral health research, policy and program development, and legislation for 16 years. I just had a piece of mental health legislation that I'd been working on for 3 years torpedoed in the first 15 minutes of an hour long meeting yesterday. I have a really dark sense of humor that helps me make sense of how legislators can hear that something is a best practice and will save lives and respond with a "meh." But I have also worked as a legislative aide, so I get that side too.

[KungFuBunny]

I’m another that believes Jax. I also think, he didn’t back out of the room because he was freaked out by it but because…Kristen and Brittany did not want a 3-some..so he left in a huff.

Another telling clue was Carter saying I was there…um how exactly do you know which specific incident they were talking about unless Kristen coached you on what to say. They never said if it was at Kristen’s apt or at Jax’s apt. These are people who hang out often and drink till they pass out. Kristen can get so drunk she’ll land on her face falling out of an Uber.

So who is mysterious Paul, old stoner guy with a penthouse that allows James to stay over? Kind of reminds me of that guy that housed Jax when he first hit the modelling scene.

I was waiting for the hoverboard to burst into flames, followed by a muppet leaping and screaming off a balcony.

Lala and her mom – glad to see her keeping to a 2 drink limit – each drink a full sized goblet.

Schwartz is absolutely right…Kate is mean when she is with Stassi and Kristen. The good thing about this is Tequila Katy is back.

The pink rat tail extension Sandoval has is not a flattering…For some reason he is giving me the bad guy from the Fifth Element look

[WhosThatGirl]

I believe Jax too but seriously he's a jerk because all he does is run his mouth and yeah. Aside from that, like I said I don't know what Lisa's deal is either, in an earlier post I think I said she was unprofessional in talking to Brittany and also the conversation with Kristen wasn't funny. She was doing it because she wanted to make Kristen uncomfortable. That's not a good quality to have. 

Lala and her mom at her lunch were bad "well maybe I shouldn't drink, it's where all my problems come from" "yes with our family" "can I get you something to drink?" "Yes a glass of wine" the hell? I feel like perhaps this was supposed to be kind of a haha moment that fell flat 

Also is there any viewer who enjoys James?!? He's the worst. 

Edited November 19, 2016 by WhosThatGirl

[AbsoluteShower]

12 minutes ago, WhosThatGirl said:

Also is there any viewer who enjoys James?!? He's the worst. 

"Fearless truth-teller", I think you meant to write.

 

No, wait...

[MrsRafaelBarba]

On 11/14/2016 at 10:01 PM, Sai said:

 

 

 

On 11/14/2016 at 10:01 PM, Sai said:

 

 

On 11/14/2016 at 10:01 PM, Sai said:

I'm probably the only one but I totally believe Jax.

 

You're not alone, I do too.

Going around and blabbing it, he's wrong for that.

But, Britney knew how much a fuckboi he  is going in.

Edited November 19, 2016 by MrsRafaelBarba

[The Mighty Peanut]

3 hours ago, WhosThatGirl said:

I believe Jax too but seriously he's a jerk because all he does is run his mouth and yeah. Aside from that, like I said I don't know what Lisa's deal is either, in an earlier post I think I said she was unprofessional in talking to Brittany and also the conversation with Kristen wasn't funny. She was doing it because she wanted to make Kristen uncomfortable. That's not a good quality to have. 

Lala and her mom at her lunch were bad "well maybe I shouldn't drink, it's where all my problems come from" "yes with our family" "can I get you something to drink?" "Yes a glass of wine" the hell? I feel like perhaps this was supposed to be kind of a haha moment that fell flat 

Also is there any viewer who enjoys James?!? He's the worst. 

LVP just wants to have it both ways sometimes. Sometimes she's bawdy and saucy talking about Kentucky muffin; sometimes she's all "What's sex? How do you sex?" Brandi Glanville, for all her issues, had a point when she said Lisa was raunchy until it didn't suit her narrative.

James is indeed the worst. 

Edited November 19, 2016 by The Mighty Peanut

[WhosThatGirl]

I don't watch any of the housewives shows, I never have so I don't know what Lisa is like there but I suppose you're right. Lisa likes it both ways with everything. 

[HunterHunted]

I loved Jennifer Lawrence when she was on WWHL. On the subject of James, her thoughts were "No one is actually having sex with that dude, right?!?!"

[aussieinsydney]

On 16/11/2016 at 1:21 AM, Duke2801 said:

 OR.  b) He's just that gross that he sleeps, lives, and works in the SAME shirt without giving a thought to how dirty or foul-smelling his clothes must be.

 

        Well, a few of the cast memebers commented about how foul his breath is, so I guess he has no regular hygiene routine at all.

        Regarding Kristen going down on Britney, if it is true, I'll bet Kristen was way better at the job than Jax. I imagine Jax would be a selfish prick in bed.  He'd cautiously venture south, give a few hesitant flicks of his tongue and say "Ok, that's enough, my turn now!"

        I know Katie has put a little bit of weight on, but she's still damn smoking hot to me :D

[aussieinsydney]

On 16/11/2016 at 4:39 PM, ninjago said:

What would it take for Kristin to stop getting so drunk all the time?

        Prohibition ;)

[Rebecca]

On 11/17/2016 at 4:13 PM, ghoulina said:

Her boyfriend. 

Ha, but they've been broken up for months. She definitely gets paid for the podcast...she has so many damn commercials lately for her sponsors that I haven't been listening much. I used to enjoy her podcast. She has spoken about the show a fair amount over the many episodes.

[ghoulina]

10 hours ago, Rebecca said:

Ha, but they've been broken up for months.

In real time? Because on the show she made it sound as if they were on again, just not living together. What does he do for work? Does he travel a  lot, or need to live in one specific location?

[xtwheeler]

On 11/15/2016 at 8:28 PM, Rebecca said:

 

Prenups only apply to assets attained before the marriage, right? So it would only apply to whatever Katie or Tom had..which I would assume is pretty much only VR money and mostly equal...before they wed. The prenup story just seemed stupid, especially due to this... unless I am mistaken and it could apply to future earnings while they are married too?  

Pre-nups generally identify pre-marriage assets and set them aside as separate, and seek to set aside during-marriage assets and earnings as separate to some extent, too. But in theory, a pre-nup can do things like convert the character of all pre-marriage separate assets to community assets if you're feeling generous. Mind you, I doubt the chuckleheads would do this, but a pre-nup is just a contract. It can change the character and disposition of assets however you want. 

[JenE4]

7 hours ago, ghoulina said:

In real time? Because on the show she made it sound as if they were on again, just not living together. What does he do for work? Does he travel a  lot, or need to live in one specific location?

Isn't Patrick a radio DJ? I thought that's why she moved to NY with him originally, but then I guess he was transferred back to LA last season? I have no doubt someone will chime in with his full resume, lol.

[Princess Sparkle]

You're right; he is a DJ and that's why she moved to NYC. I think he got fired from his show and while he was finding a new one, they decided to live apart, and that's when she moved back to LA. I remember from her podcast that she said their apartment in NYC was very small, and when they ended up being home together a lot they drove each other nuts, so when they were "off-again" she moved to LA because they both needed the space. 

And as for timing, from the podcast where she talked about her breakup, I want to say it was late August/early September when they broke up, so there probably is a chunk of filming where they're still together. 

[WhosThatGirl]

On the podcast though she talked about being single a lot. It was her summer of yes! She talked about joining online dating sites and such. 

[Rebecca]

On 11/21/2016 at 10:08 AM, ghoulina said:

In real time? Because on the show she made it sound as if they were on again, just not living together. What does he do for work? Does he travel a  lot, or need to live in one specific location?

Yep, in real time. Patrick hosts a sports podcast now, Stassi said something about it being his dream job. Is there something that says he was fired from Cocktails With Patrick? For some reason I thought the sports thing sounded like advancement. I don't remember what "network" (or whatever) it's on but maybe that was why. He moved to LA, I assume for the sports show. They moved to LA together and then later each got separate places. They played it off like that was a good idea but broke up and got back together a bunch and then eventually broke up "for good." I think it's telling if you can't live together. He's smart for not getting involved in VR, if you ask me.

EDIT: I just googled and he went from hosting Cocktails with Patrick on Sirius XM to The Wrap With Patrick for something called Mad Dog Radio, which also on Sirius XM. Thinking he was never fired but simply switched because he wanted to.

Edited November 23, 2016 by Rebecca