S08.E04: Wedding Bells

[formerlyfreedom]

The Duggars go to Tennessee for Erin Bates' wedding, where the girls help with the preparations and the boys get into mischief.

 

[SmallTownMom]

Well, this episode was just what I thought it would be. Precious and neat. And a new season in life, as was mentioned once or twice or two hundred times.

I really like Erin and Chad. Even if she sounds like Smurfette. I thought their first kiss was very sweet. Seems like Chad maybe watched some old, romantic movies. Whatever, he got it right.

I wanted to slap the Duggar boys upside the head with something heavy. They sat there joking about Ben loading the bus, but had the energy to trash the newlyweds' car. I don't understand that tradition. Seems kind of rude and pointless to me. Sorry, Duggar boys, but I don't think you have much to offer a girlfriend. What a bunch of buffoons! And I think your sisters got all the looks. Jana is beautiful, but seems so shy during the talking heads segments. And why is Jessa allowed to hand off her chores because she is courting?

I hope that Anna's big announcement next week is that she scheduled a vasectomy for Smuggar.

[Fostersmom]

Okay, I'm gonna ask this as a serious question. What the hell is going on with Erin Bates? Cuz girlfriend seems like the dimmest bulb out there. When she was reading the note from Chad, I honestly thought I was watching a 3 year old. The pretty pretty princess room…. I'm surprised she didn't put up kitten wallpaper or have Lisa Frank decals plastered all over the walls. If I didn't know Santa and the Easter Bunny don't play in their world, I'd be convinced she's the girl who still believes as an adult since mommy and daddy never told her the truth and she never figured it out. 

Nice glossing over of how they met. What did they call it? A religious retreat in Chicago? Ha! 

Oh Jessa, I love you and your snark. Her face in her TH about the pink room was all kinds of awesome, as was the look on her face when JimBob was asking idiot questions on the bus. Ben seemed less creepy than I had previously thought and I think Jessa sees him as an easy way out of the Tinker Toy house and knows she will be able to do whatever the hell she wants if she marries him and he's not going to say a damn word. 

[bigskygirl]

Erin makes me want to beat my head against the wall.  Chad looks like Ben.  The Bates are good friends with the Duggars, but none of the girls were in the wedding party.  And thank you to the person(s) who made sure Smuggar and Anna did not show up at to the wedding.  JimBoob looks like he is ready to pop out a baby any second.  John David is becoming as obnoxious as Smuggar and JB.

[FinePoint]

Okay, I'm gonna ask this as a serious question. What the hell is going on with Erin Bates? Cuz girlfriend seems like the dimmest bulb out there. When she was reading the note from Chad, I honestly thought I was watching a 3 year old. The pretty pretty princess room…. I'm surprised she didn't put up kitten wallpaper or have Lisa Frank decals plastered all over the walls. If I didn't know Santa and the Easter Bunny don't play in their world, I'd be convinced she's the girl who still believes as an adult since mommy and daddy never told her the truth and she never figured it out. 

Nice glossing over of how they met. What did they call it? A religious retreat in Chicago? Ha!

Well, I have nothing good to say, so I hope that's going to be okay with everyone, because I know there are so many here and TWoP who love these couples, but I am just more and more squicked out the more I watch. So many WTF moments for me in this episode. I agree with you, Fostersmom, nice glossing over the (IBLP headquarters) religious retreat in Chicago.

And I'm with you on that bedroom, too. I can't get over that Disney princess room, either. I mean, what the everlovinghell? Sure, she didn't get to decorate the way she wanted to as a kid because she was sharing, and yes she's sheltered and not used to compromising with a husband I guess, but STILL. And wasn't there a little itty bitty white wooden chair in there? Like for a real 3-year old? And in the photo on his blog, it looks like a basket of children's books sitting on the floor at the end of the bed. I have nothing nice to say about this. It looks like a little girl's frilly pink bedroom. I think it's altogether weird that her husband just doesn't mind it at all, and even luuuurves it. And then Ben even says how nice it is that Chad just luurves it. What 18-year-old young man thinks a Disney princess bedroom is great for an adult male?

And speaking of an 18-year-old guy, Ben...I think it's all kinds of strange for an 18-year-old guy to have to have his Mommy go along as a chaperone. Especially when Ma and Pa Duggar are there, as well as Ma and Pa Bates, and when all the combined Duggar and Bates kids are there to "hold you accountable," as Jillard puts it. And wow, is the mommy ever wanting to hitch her wagon to this dog and pony show.

I didn't mind the Duggar boys sitting at the kitchen counter doing nothing on purpose and letting Mr. Fanatical Weekend Anti-Abortion Picketer load the bus himself.

So Jessa doesn't have to help pack any more because she's courting. Because she's so distracted over her courtship. Because even when Ben is not at the house, she's just so distracted over him that the synapses in her little feeble female brain just cannot handle the full load of both thinking of Ben AND getting daily tasks done. Just like her mom and the chess game. So she must just sit on the sofa all day, I guess?

I didn't think the alterations to Erin's dress worked. That extra panel she had them add in the front looked like it's a different colour altogether when they were out in the sunlight. I don't know if the dress originally came with those cap sleeves, or if she had those added in too, but the final effect, IMO, ended up looking like she was wearing a t-shirt underneath a sleeveless/strapless dress. To me, it looked like the sleeves and panel didn't belong there. Granted, I'm the only one in the Say Yes to the Dress thread on TWoP who doesn't mind sleeveless/strapless, but even so, the sleeves and panel looked like a different colour, and the way the fabric was placed made it look, to me at least, like a t-shirt under a strapless dress, not like one complete design.

And WTF, John David, if you put a fucking open tin of sardines in my car, and if that shit spilled, I'd make you pay to have the car professionally detailed or pay me back my losses if I had to sell the car.

Edited April 16, 2014 by FinePoint

[MarkySnark]

I had to laugh at the boys shopping for the car trashin' and they came across the petroleum jelly. I am sure they are very well acquainted with that stuff!! And, I think it was very nice of the Duggars to adopt Karl Childers from Sling Blade after he got turned loose from the state nervous hospital and name him John David.

[roamyn]

The tradition of messing up a bridal car goes back several generations. I saw nothing wrong with it.

My uncle poured open tobacco all over my mom & step dad's car. He taped up my mom & real dad's car from the inside & trapped himself in there (so I've always been told). My real dad left an open pan or bucket of sewage water in my uncle & aunt's car (hidden under a blanket).

Back before WWII it was common to kidnap the grooming his wedding night. I remember my grandfather telling us the story of how he threatened his groomsmen. And you didn't mess with my grandfather.

Edited April 16, 2014 by roamyn

[zebra2013]

What would Jesus do? Let's see, I cannot find anywhere in Matthew, Mark, Luke, or John where our Lord and Savior played dominos and told the disciples to wash each other's feet. Way to be Christ-like and let your houseguest schlep the clothing and undies your sister packed for you, Dugger boys!

Hey Erin Bates, nice pepto bedroom! Maybe Chad wears his wedding day blindfold in there?

I couldn't stand the stupidity flowing when the mothers were fellowshipping about courtships over pickle bologna pop assembly. Maybe if you didn't treat your daughters like chattel to be handed over you wouldn't feel that you were losing them. My relationship with my parents didn't change one iota when I got married, we got over me leaving the nest when I went to college out of state and got used to it when I started my career 1000 miles from home after I graduated. Keeping your 25 year old children living with toddler siblings till you accompany them on every date and participate in every conversation between her and her fiancé really would make the wedding day traumatic and heart wrenching. But it is not natural or necessary!!!!!!

[Lillybee]

I think that Chad went along with the overly pink bedroom because he knows that it will make the love of his life happy, so kudo's to him.

[Lillybee]

I have to say that I enjoyed that there were no  PDA's between Ma and Pa Duggar.

[CarolMK]

I like the Bates parents a lot better than I do Jim Bob and Michelle, and it was nice to see Erin got to have the wedding she wanted. John David et al wanting to trash the car just proves that when you keep adult children overprotected, they don't mature like normal people..this is something a 13 year old might think was funny, not a 24 year old grown ass man. Same goes for Erin and her pink bedroom..she never got to have it when she was 10, so she's got it now. 

I hated Jim Bob giving Ben the third degree on the bus. Poor kid is trying hard to please. I loved Jessa's snarky faces and agree she might go ahead and marry Ben in a year or so just to get the hell out of her parent's house. Jim Bob may be idiotic in many ways, but he's got business savvy, for sure. He'll probably be able to keep this show going the next 5 years, marrying off all his daughters one season at a time. I don't think interest will hold by the time the Howlers are ready to marry, if they ever show enough maturity to do so. I'm not holding out much hope for John David marrying anytime soon.

And in the earlier episode, Michelle finally learning how to play chess about 7 years after her son learned it was just pathetic. I always played along with my kids as much as I could, but the only things I couldn't really do were skateboarding and video games. We all went skiing as a family several times and it's something we still enjoy , even now that my sons are 16 and 20. 

[Lillybee]

Even if Mullet  never played chess with the youngins, she should have watched them playing enough to have a clue as to how chess pieces moved. To me, this proves that Mullet has not interacted with the howlers for at least 5 years.

[berwoman]

I would not have eaten a single bite at that reception  Pickle-oney sandwiches??  BLECH.

[MrMattyMatt]

Typical fundy-wedding episode.  I'm sorry but Ben just gets creepier with each episode.  His mother is a fame-whore wannabe.  Did anyone notice how Ben seemed to cringe when Ma Bates came in with the full frontal hug? 

Heading to the prayer-closet to pray that Benessa don't get a spin off..

PS - Also so glad this one was Smuggar and Anna free, however it seems like we'll be getting a full dose next week.

[Jenniferbug]

Who was the cutie at the Bates house? He's not a Bates, didn't look like a Paine, and he wasn't Michael's guy either. 

Ben's mother going along on the trip just screams fame whore. I'm starting to buy into the theories that Ben's parents encouraged him to court a Duggar girl. 

I don't see the fuss over the pink bedroom. A guy friend of mine married a very girly girl and their bedroom was pink too. When teased about it, he said "a blanket is a blanket- doesn't matter to me what color it is, and it makes her happy." So good for Chad for caring more about Erin's happiness than making a statement about his masculinity.

I can't help it, I like the Bates family. They seem so genuine and loving.

[MMLEsq]

I thought it was odd that Michelle didn't seem to understand the first thing about chess.  I thought it was something that pretty much everyone learns as a child -- I guess I'm wrong about that.

Isn't the oldest Bates girl Michaela?  Am I completely off on her name/the spelling?  They clearly labeled her as "Michael" twice though.  I thought it was interesting that after sewing all the bridesmaids' dresses, she wasn't even a bridesmaid herself.  I know there are 9 (?) girls in the family, but you would think that Erin would have at least all of the older Bates girls as bridesmaids.

Growing up in the Northeast, I'm used to fancy weddings that cost $$$$$ (I had one myself), so it's nice to see a more casual wedding, where the family takes care of the catering, decorating, flowers, etc.  I really liked the flowers, actually, although I'm partial to blue.

I can never remember what's allowed and what's not allowed.....is hand holding only allowed once you're engaged?  Chad and Erin seemed pretty naturally affectionate (well, as affectionate as you can be while following all these ridiculous (IMO) courting rules)..  Jessa and Ben look completely awkward with those side hugs. 

This is going to sound mean, but I hope Joy Anna is going through a teenage, awkward phase.  There's something about her eyes -- I think maybe they're just set a smidge too far apart.   

Lastly, I always love a TH from Jinger and we got more than usual this episode.  For some reason, she's always been one of my favorites. 

Edited April 16, 2014 by MMLEsq

[MMLEsq]

One more thing....regarding something they showed in the preview for next week's episode.  I had to pause when they showed Josiah's graduation cake.  I really hope that something's going to be placed on the cake...a pretend diploma or something....because otherwise it looked very silly.  The "Congratulations Josiah" was in small writing at the top left of the cake and just looked very strange.

Edited April 16, 2014 by MMLEsq

[SunnyBeBe]

It's nice that Erin allowed some tv time for the Duggar girls to help her with her dress, say a prayer with her and do the things her bridesmaids normally do.  Did anyone recognize the bridesmaids? Were they her sisters?  That would be understandable.  Were the Duggars doing things with her so some of the wedding costs could be covered? Just curious. Erin said it was her dream wedding.

Where did Erin get that dress? She said it was the only one there is her size?  It was a pretty dress, but I agree, the alterations weren't right.  It distracted from the true look of the gown, but, if she's happy, so be it.  I thought she and her husband seemed very happy, so that's good.  

Erin seems to be living in a dream world, but it's not much different than her mom's so I guess that's normal in their world.  I will never feel okay with Mrs. Bates.  Her words to Michelle, when Josie was hanging onto life were horrific. Something about no matter how risky it is and how many babies who perish, have more and more babies.  It was downright cruel and let me know what Mrs. Bates is really like.

The trashing of the car is a regional tradition that I abhor. It was big in the south years ago. I thought it had faded away.  I guess the guys had to have some role in the show/wedding. And it came so natural to them.  lol

I''m confused as to why Jessa can't pack bags and court a guy who lives over a hundred miles away.  Those female brains are so easily taxed.  

I've never seen grown people so obsessed with physical contact, or the lack thereof, in my life. They are salivating over it.  It's kind of scary how their minds are so concentrated on kissing, hand holding, hugging......It's so all encompassing that you can't even fold clothes anymore.

Can someone tell me why Jana can't talk to the camera? She just sits there with whichever sister they pair her with and looks at them while they narrate.  She looks at them like she is amazed at what they saying.  Doesn't she have anything to offer?  Can't she speak?  It's like they don't trust her to properly narrate.  Why?

The farewell wishes from the Duggar girls to Erin and her husband were nice, but they didn't feel genuine to me. All that talk about "the path where God leads you" and "what God has in store" sounded more like something the parents wrote or they got off of a religious wedding card, not the words of a close friend.  And I say that as a woman who was raised VERY much like the Duggars, without the large family. 

[Rhondinella]

I cannot find anywhere in Matthew, Mark, Luke, or John where our Lord and Savior played dominos and told the disciples to wash each other's feet.

 

I haven't seen the episode, and far be it from me to defend most of these practices (although I don't have the contempt for the family and their ways that many do).  Having said that, Jesus does tell his disciples in John chapter 13 to wash each other's feet, after washing their feet as a sign of humility and servanthood.  (That story is not in any of the other gospels).  The practice of footwashing as a spiritual sign of servanthood to other people is actually fairly common in some denominations, mainly of the more conservative evangelical tradition.  My mother grew up in the Church of God (Anderson) in which foot washing was (and still is, I believe) one of the sacraments.  And even in churches that do not consider it a sacrament it is sometimes still practiced on special occasions, mostly commonly on Maundy Thursday (tomorrow!!!).  There's a long history of Popes, kings and queens washing the feet of the "common people" on Maundy Thursday.

So ends the lecture period by Dr. Rhondinella.  Please read chapter 17 for next time, and don't forget your papers are due on Monday!!

(PS--I can find no canonical reference to Jesus ever playing dominoes).

[Bella]

I grew up Catholic and recall the priest washing the feet of some altar boys as part of Mass in the lead-up to Easter. So yes, it's done. Dominoes were not part of any service I ever attended, however. Maybe it's unique to the Duggars' religion.

[zebra2013]

re: footwashing, I'm referring to the fact that Jesus DID wash feet.  It is a huge act of humility and hospitality and love.  I'm comparing the Duggars "WWJD" moment of mocking Ben as he did chores when he was a guest in their home while they played a game.  Because Jesus would have at least helped, he was had a REAL servant's heart toward his fellow man and woman.  Unlike the smug Duggars.

[Rhondinella]

Ah, ok.  I see.  You mean he did the washing instead of watching while the disciples did it.  Got it.  Sorry I misunderstood.  

I still stand firm on the dominoes thing, though.

[SnarkyMcSnarkerson]

I think they make it up as they go along, so maybe dominoes are part of their religion now.

[zebra2013]

I know some family members of mine who are strict Christians who don't think it is ok to play cards of any kind, but they love dominos :)  Everyone has their little semantics.  In the case of cards vs. dominos, it seems harmless. 

[bigskygirl]

Is John David a volunteer constable?  I feel bad for the people who he is suppose to protect and serve.  I would be unhappy if I saw a local reserve police officer and/or sheriff deputy acting like an ass on national television.  Another JimBoob and Smuggar in the works.  Ugh!!!

[MrMattyMatt]

It's interesting that there was no mention about the couple's hopes to have children and a family.  I would have thought we would hear at least something about that.  I guess TLC does have some tact considering Erin's miscarriage.

[wanderwoman]

Oh my.   Where do I start on that hot mess?

I am not entirely convinced that Jessa gives two flying f***** about this entire courtship with Ben.  I mean, her demeanor toward him is dismissive and annoyed.  I thought, maybe, that she just wasn't great with showing emotion, period.  But, after so many years of watching, we HAVE seen her get excited about things.  We have seen her smile more when shopping at the thrift shop!   With Ben, I just don't see a spark.  Jill and her guy have a spark and Jill lights up when his name is mentioned.  Erin and Chad have it.  Josh and Anna have it.  So, it can't just be the fact that they're reserving emotional connections and physicality until marriage.  Am I alone in this feeling?

Erin's dress looked really similar to Michelle's abomination of a wedding dress from Kleinfelds.  The rouching in particular looked like a carbon copy.  Check it out.  And,why these people always choose strapless, sleeveless dresses to "alter", rather than choosing a modest dress to begin with escapes me.  The bridesmaids dresses were o.k..  the flowers and cake were gorgeous.  But, 1000 people at that wedding...and all you serve is cheese and bologna on a toothpick?  I did laugh at the look on grandma's face when Michelle pulled the paint off the church wall.  They must have bolts of that God awful toule that they recycle for every occasion.

The boys that trashed the cars are childish a-holes.  There is NOTHING cute or funny about loading up the car with trash and sardines.  Decorating the car is one thing- go nuts with ribbons and shaving cream or whatever, but sardines and mothballs?  That's just stupid and cruel.  Nothing says romantic like having to bust through the car's plastic wrap hymen!   Starting that you showed restraint (John David) by not putting anything on the engine block or rewiring the brakes to the horn doesn't make you a prince!  It makes you a self-admitted vandal!  

The pink room.  Sigh.  Is Erin 9 years old?  Pink is fine.  Pair it with soft grays or chocolatey browns and you can make a beautiful presentation.  But, that room looked like bubblegum and babies.  

Edited April 16, 2014 by wanderwoman

[SunnyBeBe]

It's interesting that there was no mention about the couple's hopes to have children and a family.  I would have thought we would hear at least something about that.  I guess TLC does have some tact considering Erin's miscarriage.

I don't follow.  When did this happen?

[MamaMax]

I think they make it up as they go along, so maybe dominoes are part of their religion now.

But the dominoes aren't allowed to touch.

[MamaMax]

So Jessa doesn't have to help pack any more because she's courting. Because she's so distracted over her courtship. Because even when Ben is not at the house, she's just so distracted over him that the synapses in her little feeble female brain just cannot handle the full load of both thinking of Ben AND getting daily tasks done. Just like her mom and the chess game. So she must just sit on the sofa all day, I guess?

 

 

I may have just assumed this, but I thought that they were relieving her of some of her duties and having her train the next one,  in anticipation of a wedding. My understanding is that their engagements are only about 3 months long. So I figured they were already thinking that she may be gone soon. Also, I don't think the littles pack for themselves becasue I'm pretty sure they share a lot of clothes and have a communal closet, so trying to get 10 people to pack for a week from a communal closet would be a disaster.

 

Edited April 16, 2014 by MamaMax

[Fostersmom]

It's interesting that there was no mention about the couple's hopes to have children and a family.  I would have thought we would hear at least something about that.  I guess TLC does have some tact considering Erin's miscarriage.

I didn't even think of that while watching, but yeah, you can bet the original edit had a shit ton of references to babies. Many, many babies. I caught a glimpse of Gothard marrying them, but no mention or pop ups about him, and knew they probably had to do a little editing to cut him out as much as possible, but forgot about her miscarriage. 

[MrMattyMatt]

I don't follow.  When did this happen?

http://blog.thebatesfamily.com/2014/03/20/in-heaven/

[Rhondinella]

And,why these people always choose strapless, sleeveless dresses to "alter", rather than choosing a modest dress to begin with escapes me.

I've watched enough Say Yes to the Dress to know that approximately 85% of wedding dresses you can choose from these days are strapless. Why so many people are fascinated with that style I don't understand, but there it is.  Yes, they do have dresses with sleeves, but a far smaller selection to choose from.

[Pickles]

Does anyone know what Chad does for a living?

[Absolom]

The simple food at the reception is a southern fundie standard. It would be more unusual to serve a full meal. I was upset with John David and his Jim Bobbish prank on the car. That goes way beyond the normal and for me acceptable. Then again, we hid the car for our wedding. I found it tacky and childish even then.

That dress! It was on sale on the rack at David's Bridal. That says enough for me right there. I'm definitely not a David's Bridal fan and wouldn't even let my daughters look there. Their alterations if not extremely basic are not usually well done at least not at their stores in our area. The sleeves were added and then they stuck some allegedly matching material in the bodice and up the back. I think they turned the material opposite to the grain used on the dress or else it wasn't exactly matching material. Whatever it looked tacky to me. I'm glad Erin was happy with her dress. Her SIL chose what I thought was a better option and bought a bolero and skipped the alterations. I don't think Zach and Whitney's wedding will be shown though.

Weddings pull in ratings: 2.238 M viewers and a .7 rating.

[all fall down]

Isn't the oldest Bates girl Michaela?  Am I completely off on her name/the spelling?  They clearly labeled her as "Michael" twice though.  I thought it was interesting that after sewing all the bridesmaids' dresses, she wasn't even a bridesmaid herself.  I know there are 9 (?) girls in the family, but you would think that Erin would have at least all of the older Bates girls as bridesmaids.

Michael is her legal name. 

Kelly said the following on their blog:

"As a young Christian, I wanted to give her a Bible name. I read a list of women’s names in the Bible and saw David’s wife (spelled “Michal”). Unfortunately, when she was less than a year old, I read through my Bible for the first time and discovered Michal wasn’t a good role model. We legally could change her name for free if we only slightly changed the spelling while she was under a year old. We changed the spelling to Michael, which means “Who is like the Lord,” which she has certainly tried to live up to!! 

We did start calling her Michaella when she was around 5, because on cards people didn’t realize it was referring to a girl."

**

Kelly also said Michael is really shy, so she didn't want to be a bridesmaid. I think she was asked, but declined. 

Guess she'll have to get over that if Brandon proposes and she gets married. Or maybe she'll elope. Ha. 

[leighdear]

 

Her SIL chose what I thought was a better option and bought a bolero and skipped the alterations. I don't think Zach and Whitney's wedding will be shown though.

Whitney looked stunning in those photos.  Her dress was very modern and tastefuly modest.  She could have stepped right out of a bridal magazine.  Some Catholic ceremonies require a bride's shoulders to be covered, so it's not really unusual to purchase a bolero or shrug for the church part.

I also loved the bridesmaid's dresses, and the color scheme. 

[MMLEsq]

Michael is her legal name. 

Kelly said the following on their blog:

"As a young Christian, I wanted to give her a Bible name. I read a list of women’s names in the Bible and saw David’s wife (spelled “Michal”). Unfortunately, when she was less than a year old, I read through my Bible for the first time and discovered Michal wasn’t a good role model. We legally could change her name for free if we only slightly changed the spelling while she was under a year old. We changed the spelling to Michael, which means “Who is like the Lord,” which she has certainly tried to live up to!! 

We did start calling her Michaella when she was around 5, because on cards people didn’t realize it was referring to a girl."

**

Kelly also said Michael is really shy, so she didn't want to be a bridesmaid. I think she was asked, but declined. 

Guess she'll have to get over that if Brandon proposes and she gets married. Or maybe she'll elope. Ha. 

Thanks for the background information re: the name.  It's kind of funny that she was named after someone they picked from a list of Bible names, without actually reading the story about the person whose name they picked. 

[wanderwoman]

Thanks for the background information re: the name.  It's kind of funny that she was named after someone they picked from a list of Bible names, without actually reading the story about the person whose name they picked. 

I found that humorous, too.  Even funnier/sadder is that it is in no way pronounced "my-cull".  The correct, biblical and Judaic pronunciation is "me-hawl".  This sort of biblical and cultural ignorance, especially in "devout, biblical literalist", as the Bateses claim to be, is sad.  

[MamaMax]

Can I ask, who is Whitney? Erin's SIL? Married to whom?

Edited April 17, 2014 by MamaMax

[Lillybee]

Zach married Whitney. They met when she was working at Sonic Burger and it appears that he was seeing her on his own for a bit.

[MichaelaRae]

Thanks for the background information re: the name.  It's kind of funny that she was named after someone they picked from a list of Bible names, without actually reading the story about the person whose name they picked.

Not surprised at all, personally. The Bates and Duggars are the types, IMO, that cherry pick their " Bible learnings."

[Jellybeans]

The tradition of messing up a bridal car goes back several generations.

My grandmother told me when she was a bride the men would find the newlyweds and throw a goat into the window. Nuts!

[SpaghettiTuesdays]

Re: the car trashing - It's a tradition in my family as well. I believe it was a country thing. In my family, both the bride and groom are "kidnapped" and dropped in a field as well. It's weird but I'm sure it was an old timey ritual or something.

I like this episode, but the Bateses hold a special place in my heart. I gagged at the food, but it's not my wedding.

I actually shouted at my television when I saw the boys sitting there playing dominoes while everyone else worked. It was disgusting to me. (And reminded me of the laziness of my own brothers.)

I also had to double take when JChelle was "cuddling" the little girl from  that family that adopted 22 kids. You couldn't hug your own?? And the Duggars sitting so close to the front when the guest list was 1000? You don't have anyone else you'd rather sit up there?

Their house was cute and good for Chad for letting Erin decorate how she wants. I don't understand the big uproar. She'll probably paint it again in a couple years. I understand she's a little childish, but she also seemed extremely happy and excited. I imagine some of that giddiness disappeared after her miscarriage. Poor girl.

JChelle ripping the paint - you know she probably covered it up and didn't tell anyone. Not very Christian, if you ask me.

There are other things I'd like to say but I'll edit later as I think of them.

[Bella]

When I was very small and able to hide behind a hedge, I remember my parents taking me to a chivaree ( http://www.thefreedictionary.com/chivaree ) after my uncle got married. It was also a country thing, but it's probably too close to thinking about sex for the Duggars. We were right under my uncle and new aunt's bedroom window, banging pots and yelling. They were expecting it, of course. No trashed cars, though. I think if I had to choose, I'd go with the chivaree.

[Rhondinella]

Thank you for that link.  I knew I'd read the term for this years ago and I thought it was something like "shivery" but could never find it when I looked for it.  I've never been to one of these but apparently they were common in many cultures and are still today in some places.

I think in olden times it also involved handing the bloody sheets out the window after the deed was done as proof, a) that it had been consummated; and b) that the woman had been a virgin.  Squicky.

Frankly a little surprised the Duggars don't still do this.

[DangerousMinds]

Okay, I'm gonna ask this as a serious question. What the hell is going on with Erin Bates? Cuz girlfriend seems like the dimmest bulb out there. When she was reading the note from Chad, I honestly thought I was watching a 3 year old. The pretty pretty princess room…. I'm surprised she didn't put up kitten wallpaper or have Lisa Frank decals plastered all over the walls. If I didn't know Santa and the Easter Bunny don't play in their world, I'd be convinced she's the girl who still believes as an adult since mommy and daddy never told her the truth and she never figured it out. 

 

 

And her hair? What the hell?

[Libby96]

Erin Bates is a beautiful young lady, but that front poof needs to go. Now.

[SpaghettiTuesdays]

Ah, yes, the chivaree.

Maybe when Erin has five little ones under five she won't have the time for such volume.

[jcbrown]

 

With Ben, I just don't see a spark.  Jill and her guy have a spark and Jill lights up when his name is mentioned.  Erin and Chad have it.  Josh and Anna have it.  So, it can't just be the fact that they're reserving emotional connections and physicality until marriage.  Am I alone in this feeling?

You are not alone in that feeling. I wonder if Jessa is simply in love with the idea of courting and is trying to persuade herself that she has feelings for Ben she may not actually have.  To me, that would explain the utter lack of spark between them. If I didn't know of Ben's politics, I would think he is a nice young man. I hope she has some feelings for him that we are not seeing, otherwise it does not bode well for a successful relationship. I can't imagine having to have your first ever relationship until your parents' microscope, as well as on TV. Yikes.