S11.E14: Secrets, Lies And Vicki's New Guy

[Tara Ariano]

Quote

Meghan throws a party to celebrate the grand opening of her candle store; Vicki threatens to expose a secret about Shannon; Heather throws a fancy party to celebrate the release of her book; Meghan proposes a trip to Ireland to explore her heritage.

[Snarky McSnarky]

Also...

Kelly and Michael argue over nothing.  

Kelly has a heart to heart discussion with her mom about nothing.

Shannon says she's over David's affair for the umpteenth time.

Tamra talks about wieners, sex toys, blowjobs, and anal sex.

Vicki says everyone needs to move on from last year.

Edited October 2, 2016 by Snarky McSnarky

[Giselle]

And Eddie straps on the feed bag and obliviously eats his way once again through screeching cat fights.

[What In The]

I haven't the slightest notion in my noggin what this episode's going to show but here is what I think it should:

Vicky admitting all and fading into the background never to reemerge from her office.

Kelly being chased by pitchforks back to AZ. 

[ElDosEquis]

22 hours ago, Giselle said:

And Eddie straps on the feed bag and obliviously eats his way once again through screeching cat fights.

Well, the way to a man's heart is thru.......oh, never mind......

[Giselle]

7 minutes ago, ElDosEquis said:

Well, the way to a man's heart is thru.......oh, never mind......

The 3 F's...Feed 'em, Fuck 'em and Flatter 'em.

[ElDosEquis]

3 hours ago, Giselle said:

The 3 F's...Feed 'em, Fuck 'em and Flatter 'em.

 You forgot, Fight 'em and Fool 'em.

That last "Eff" is pretty easy......

[bosawks]

On 10/2/2016 at 5:53 AM, Snarky McSnarky said:

Also...

Kelly and Michael argue over nothing.  

Kelly has a heart to heart discussion with her mom about nothing.

Shannon says she's over David's affair for the umpteenth time.

Tamra talks about wieners, sex toys, blowjobs, and anal sex.

Vicki says everyone needs to move on from last year.

Wouldn't Kelly first need a heart...............

[Jel]

On 10/2/2016 at 2:53 AM, Snarky McSnarky said:

Also...

Kelly and Michael argue over nothing.  

Kelly has a heart to heart discussion with her mom about nothing.

Shannon says she's over David's affair for the umpteenth time.

Tamra talks about wieners, sex toys, blowjobs, and anal sex.

Vicki says everyone needs to move on from last year.

And Heather glugs down another glass of Veuve Clicquot!

Can't wait.

[mbaywife123]

Vicki just pulled a classic Kim Richards empty threat ( doesn't know anything but implies that she does) on Shannon. 

[SCS]

I'm still trying to get past Meghan saying Jimmy is about to realize his lifelong dream of being a candle purveyor. Truly a first. 

 

ETA: ... and that Tamballs said that a party refreshment looked like a yeast infection.

Edited October 4, 2016 by steelcitysister

[bosawks]

Vicki really does have the emotional IQ of a gnat.  She is quite possibly morally insane.

[KLovestoShop]

All I want to do is climb through the TV and smack Vicki from here to hell.  What a disgusting bitch to use cancer and people's misery to sell insurance.   There's nothing that disgusting excuse of a human will do to sell anything.  She deserves to get torn apart on the Reunion show.  

[JAYJAY1979]

My life is complete...Vicki G and Shannon both responded to my tweets...and I didnt even have to use their twitter handles to do so :)

Edited October 4, 2016 by JAYJAY1979

[Steff]

Kelly is trying WAY too hard to make Michael look bad. 

[mbaywife123]

4 minutes ago, Steff said:

Kelly is trying WAY too hard to make Michael look bad. 

Was just going to post the same thing!

[Straycat80]

Kelly and her husband have a lot in common. Ugly drunks. 

This was a snoozefest of an episode. Bring on next week and the vacation porn that will be Ireland. 

[chick binewski]

So here I am thinking the editing monkeys are our friends by showing Vicki's contradictory nature. Then they show the boob hickey scene. Damn you to hell, Bravo.

If Bravo wants to continue filming Vicki, Bethenny, Luann and Theresa can't they put them together on one spin-off series? Like Non-MILF Island where they can hunt each other down. Also, is Meghan appearing in The Mikado? WTF was she wearing?

Clearly the winner of the evening was Heather's center part. 

[Steff]

Just now, mbaywife123 said:

Was just going to post the same thing!

lol There was nothing subtle about it, it was like she was playing it out like she's practiced in her head 1,000 x. 

[FlyingEgret]

8 minutes ago, Steff said:

Kelly is trying WAY too hard to make Michael look bad. 

And I really believe what Michael dropped was a chop stick; he was not holding a glass at that time. Some creative elf added the glass breaking sound...

[chick binewski]

8 minutes ago, Steff said:

Kelly is trying WAY too hard to make Michael look bad. 

YES! I'm like, Kelly - we've seen you in full-blown no holds barred harridan mode. Please don't tell me you find your husband horrifying when you have no concept of your own behavior.

[100PercentPain]

Meghan looked beautiful at her store opening party. Holy hell, could Vicki have been more insensitive when she said, "So the other didn't make it?" Meghan was more gracious than I would have been. At least Tamra gave an, "Aww". You know, something to indicate that she realized one of her embryos didn't survive might be a sad thing for Meghan. 

 

Anyway. Vicki only gets worse from there at the party and I'm over seeing her ugly mug on my TV. It's not even entertaining anymore. That's about all the mental energy I can commit to that. God bless the editors who played multiple clips of Vicki criticizing the other Wives' husbands between clips of her claiming she never criticizes anyone else's man. Kelly's an idiot if she believes whatever crazy story Vicki told her she "has on Shannon". 

 

If Shannon is willing to be filmed asking her husband to fish around in her ass for the tip of her home colonic device or tell the world all the gritty details of the affair, she ain't hiding anything. 

 

Meghan's doctor sucks if he really responded to her telling him she was feeling depressed was, "That's weird! Usually women are happy when they're pregnant!" The hormonal changes that come along with pregnancy can do all sorts of things to your brain and perinatal depression absolutely is a thing.

 

I cracked up at Vicki saying, "Whether or not Brooks had cancer isn't the point. I'm not hiding behind anything and if someone wants to shoot holes in me, I hope you never get cancer." Okay? If I'm ever diagnosed with cancer, I sure will be sorry I didn't believe Vicki Gunvalson that time she lied about her sleazy boyfriend having cancer and then starred a fake cancer charity on the heels of that. That'll show me?

 

Heather looked great at her party too. Say what you will about Heather, but she knows how to dress. Vicki needs to retire the deep V neckline, and Kelly's dress was a mesh nightmare. 

 

Really Tamra? "It looks like a yeast infection"? Gross. 

 

Good for Shannon for playing the game and not engaging with Vicki at the party. That clearly drives Vicki way more insane and Shannon comes out looking much classier than Vicki, who was repeating the David story AGAIN and rearing for a fight from the moment she walked into the party. 

 

Can you imagine how it would go over if one of the husbands was putting down his wife the way Kelly was doing to Michael at the end of the episode? Gotta love how during their chat on the beach she said, "When we drink we fight more" but at the party, HE is the drunk. Someone needs to let her know that she's already been filmed drunkenly screaming at people on multiple occasions. "You have a beautiful marriage!" Vicki. Please. 

 

IMO Kelly made the stylist way more uncomfortable than Michael did.

 

Not cool that Donn called his wife a "lying sack of dog shit", but his wife is also Vicki and well, he's not wrong...

 

Next week looks crazy. I figured it was someone talking about her daughter that made Tamra go off the deep end. I was downright GIDDY when Tamra spilled the tea about Kelly trying to find out how much the Dubrows owe on their lot. I cannot wait to see Heather's full reaction to that. 

[bosawks]

3 minutes ago, FlyingEgret said:

And I really believe what Michael dropped was a chop stick; he was not holding a glass at that time. Some creative elf added the glass breaking sound...

Jill Zarin?

Edited October 4, 2016 by bosawks

[Bronzedog]

Kelly left Michael at Costco because she couldn't find him after she bought a hot dog?  Is that what she said?  That conversation totally confused me.

[Ubiquitous]

I think after their chat at the beach, she went to get a hot dog and he left without her, assuming Kelly isn't making shit up.

[WireWrap]

1 hour ago, mbaywife123 said:

Vicki just pulled a classic Kim Richards empty threat ( doesn't know anything but implies that she does) on Shannon. 

I suspect that Shannon confided way too much with Vicki 2 seasons ago, about her/David's marriage, and Vicki is about to reveal whatever she was told and embellish it to boot.

3 minutes ago, Bronzedog said:

Kelly left Michael at Costco because she couldn't find him after she bought a hot dog?  Is that what she said?  That conversation totally confused me.

Yes, she did say that! LOL I guess he was supposed to stand there holding on to her skirt tails while she ordered it. LOL The woman is BSC....worse that Kelly B (NY) IMO.

[Marley]

Vicki is such a disgusting piece of trash. She's not even fun to hate on. Seeing her lying bitch face makes me want to quit watching.  

Nothing she does is cute or funny either. Such a desperate try hard.

Edited October 4, 2016 by Marley

[chick binewski]

11 minutes ago, 100PercentPain said:

I was downright GIDDY when Tamra spilled the tea about Kelly trying to find out how much the Dubrows owe on their lot. I cannot wait to see Heather's full reaction to that. 

Right there with you on the giddiness. CANNOT WAIT.

[Ubiquitous]

I kept calling Vicki a certain c-word under my breath every time she appeared on my TV. It takes a lot of gall and unawareness to make a commercial for a fake cancer charity after what she did and to keep denying she did anything wrong to Shannon.

 

I think whoever conjectured that Kelly is trying to make her husband look bad for her eventual divorce is right. Too bad for Kelly she is the one who looks bad.

[Bronzedog]

Well, hell!  If my husband wandered away from me when I was ordering a hot dog I'd want a divorce too!  If a friend did it, I'd end the friendship!  It's the only rational thing to do.

[Mu Shu]

I shouldn't laugh, but that flashback of Donn calling Icki a lying piece of dog shit made me happy.  The editors clearly hate her, not just because they show her acting like a lying piece of dog shit, but showing shots of her looking so awful.   She looks great in posed, curated shots in her talking heads, but live action tells another tale.  The woman is hideous.    I blame it on her awful personality.    She should invest not only in nipple covers, but in a head to toe shroud.   How much is she paying that decent looking guy to date her abominable snow monster ass.

Fuck all you hags.  Shannon has an actual airport named after her.   Shannon wins everything, including frumpiest dresser.   

[mbaywife123]

13 minutes ago, Bronzedog said:

Kelly left Michael at Costco because she couldn't find him after she bought a hot dog?  Is that what she said?  That conversation totally confused me.

Yes she did! Good grief lady you are at Costco not Disneyworld.

Let me give you a clue: he was probably in the store or waiting at the door for you.

I can just picture her turning around and not seeing him then storming off to the car and driving off ranting like the crazy bitch she is.

[jinjer]

Free Donn!  Hahaha - It was fun seeing Vicki looking all shocked at being called out by him esp now knowing what a endless pit of neediness she is with her empty love tank.

[Ubiquitous]

The one scene of Vicki I did enjoy was her bitching about everyone judging her boyfriend, followed by clips of her doing just that!

 

I am glad we got to see the opening of Jim's candle store; It saved us from hearing about Meghan being pregnant.

[Lady Grump]

Yeah, no. My compassion tank is empty when it comes to Vicki. (Same thing happened with Bethenny.)

Vicki is a horrible person. She's lived too much life to still be the way she is. She needs to crash and burn.

A Maserati? Homegirl is TOO concerned about keeping up with the Jonses. It's nauseating. She's nauseating. And completely lacking a self-awareness gene.

[mbaywife123]

6 minutes ago, Bronzedog said:

Well, hell!  If my husband wandered away from me when I was ordering a hot dog I'd want a divorce too!  If a friend did it, I'd end the friendship!  It's the only rational thing to do.

Don't forget the stakes were even higher in this situation because she had also ordered a diet Coke!

[Giselle]

9 hours ago, ElDosEquis said:

 You forgot, Fight 'em and Fool 'em.

That last "Eff" is pretty easy......

I've been with my boyfriend 5 years. We still haven't had our first fight, we do agree to disagree but without drama and there is no reason  to fool him. I love the guy. We both each think we're the "lucky one" and say as long as we both keep thinking that we're good.

[zoeysmom]

9 minutes ago, Bronzedog said:

Well, hell!  If my husband wandered away from me when I was ordering a hot dog I'd want a divorce too!  If a friend did it, I'd end the friendship!  It's the only rational thing to do.

Well it all depends was the hot dog grilled or boiled?

[rustyspigot]

Vicki's silent commercial "Do you want me to talk now?" No just stare silently into the camera.

Why did Shannon have a random headless mannequin in her house?

Let's hope this is the last we will hear of Meghan's candles.

Heather wore a color! Alert the media.

[Thumper]

Tamra goes to the opening of a CANDLE store wearing a top cut down to her navel?  Her breasts looked weird.

Also did not need to see Kelly's mesh breast exposure at the book party.  Is that a CA thing?

[Bronzedog]

6 minutes ago, zoeysmom said:

Well it all depends was the hot dog grilled or boiled?

It was Costco so it had to be a top quality hot dog!  And, Michael just wandered away!  Is this the world that we live in?

[mbaywife123]

1 minute ago, Bronzedog said:

It was Costco so it had to be a top quality hot dog!  And, Michael just wandered away!  Is this the world that we live in?

Welcome to the world of wandering weenies!

[nexxie]

Not even good food porn - zzzzzzzzzz

[Mu Shu]

12 minutes ago, zoeysmom said:

Well it all depends was the hot dog grilled or boiled?

Costco actually has great dogs.  About one a month my co worker has her husband drop us off some on his way to work.  We love Cistco hot dog day.   Uh, couldn't Kelly text or call him?  Isn't that what you do when you go shopping and lose track of the person you came with?   I have been doing this wrong for awhile now. Bone I know to abandon them to Uber.

[Carolina Girl]

26 minutes ago, mbaywife123 said:

Yes she did! Good grief lady you are at Costco not Disneyworld.

Let me give you a clue: he was probably in the store or waiting at the door for you.

I can just picture her turning around and not seeing him then storming off to the car and driving off ranting like the crazy bitch she is.

I was at Disneyworld for my niece's wedding over the summer.  When we wanted to find someone we used this crazy new invention called a cell phone.   

[biakbiak]

10 minutes ago, Bronzedog said:

It was Costco so it had to be a top quality hot dog!  And, Michael just wandered away!  Is this the world that we live in?

Julia Child loved Costco's hot dogs.

[mbaywife123]

Uber is getting some good advertising from this show.

First they give Vicki a ride home from her near death experience then the rescue Michael from "wiener gate".

[SCS]

7 minutes ago, Mu Shu said:

Costco actually has great dogs.  About one a month my co worker has her husband drop us off some on his way to work.  We love Cistco hot dog day.   Uh, couldn't Kelly text or call him?  Isn't that what you do when you go shopping and lose track of the person you came with?   I have been doing this wrong for awhile now. Bone I know to abandon them to Uber.

 

Uber again? Vix called Uber to get her home from the hospital. I don't know -- Ima thinking product placement here, courtesy of Bravo's crack marketing team. Now if only Slade would appear as an Uber driver. But then he'd actually be working and lose those Medi-Cal bennies.

 

Hey, mbaywife123, I think we had a mind meld!

Edited October 4, 2016 by steelcitysister
mbaywife123 is qwicker on the keyboard!

[nexxie]

It does seem as if Kelly came on the show to get divorced, but she consistently looks at least as bad as her husband. 

[mbaywife123]

6 minutes ago, Carolina Girl said:

I was at Disneyworld for my niece's wedding over the summer.  When we wanted to find someone we used this crazy new invention called a cell phone.   

What is this new fangled invention you speak of?