Kate: Chrissy Metz

[debraran]

6 hours ago, chocolatine said:

It was more than a few years. We only saw an adult Kate flashback to when she was 28, which is more than ten years after Jack's death. She could have been gaining at the rate of 20 pounds a year, which doesn't seem that extreme in the short term but adds up over the years. And the longer she went on like that, the more difficult it was to change.

Thanks, I didn't know the 20's had an age mentioned. I didn't know if they were supposed to be 25, 26, etc.  I know it's hard with flashbacks and only using limited number of actor's to age or go back in time. I think the 20's is the hardest for the show, it's easier to make someone larger than smaller and as much as I love the acting on the show, the makeup department isn't the best with aging. I think Rebecca and Miguel need some tweaking ; )

Picking children to play them as kids, perfection!

Edited January 17, 2018 by debraran

[Blakeston]

On 1/10/2018 at 8:51 AM, Scarlett45 said:

I do want Kate to be more dimensional. Terribly so!! For someone that was a fat child, Kate is not a peace with herself in a way I would think. From my own personal experience, people (especially women) who grow up fat are not as traumatized by it, 1. Because it’s our status quo, 2. You’re either going to lose weight or you won’t do get on with it. 

I think there are two things that would make it unusually difficult for Kate:

1. Most overweight people aren't the only overweight person in their families. And not only is Kate the only heavy person in her family, everyone else is super toned and conventionally very attractive. She really sticks out.

2. She wasn't all that overweight as a child. She was chubby when she was 8-10, and she was a size 7 when she was 17. Superobesity would be something new to her as an adult.

[Scarlett45]

4 hours ago, Blakeston said:

I think there are two things that would make it unusually difficult for Kate:

1. Most overweight people aren't the only overweight person in their families. And not only is Kate the only heavy person in her family, everyone else is super toned and conventionally very attractive. She really sticks out.

2. She wasn't all that overweight as a child. She was chubby when she was 8-10, and she was a size 7 when she was 17. Superobesity would be something new to her as an adult.

I had not thought about the first point. 

My father was a “fat child” in the 1950s, when it was an oddity. A few of his extended family members were heavy but in his nuclear family he was the oddity- he was bullied and teased mercilessly in school and was determined that no matter what he would not have me hate myself. 

As far as point 2, many chubby children grow into heavy adults (normal society heavy- no issues fitting in airplane seats but shop in the plus/big & tall section as adults),  yes they may have a few years or periods of “slimness” but the weight comes back. The way I see Kate reacting to her weight reminds me very much of women who were effortlessly thin for many years and gain weight later in life. 

I guess I just want her to care passionately about something else besides her weight....

[debraran]

11 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

I had not thought about the first point. 

My father was a “fat child” in the 1950s, when it was an oddity. A few of his extended family members were heavy but in his nuclear family he was the oddity- he was bullied and teased mercilessly in school and was determined that no matter what he would not have me hate myself. 

As far as point 2, many chubby children grow into heavy adults (normal society heavy- no issues fitting in airplane seats but shop in the plus/big & tall section as adults),  yes they may have a few years or periods of “slimness” but the weight comes back. The way I see Kate reacting to her weight reminds me very much of women who were effortlessly thin for many years and gain weight later in life. 

I guess I just want her to care passionately about something else besides her weight....

I wonder why she always felt it defined her. I had "chubby" cousins, not all in their family were like Kate but some siblings. They swam, ran around, played with others, were interested in hobby's like art, music, etc. They make Kate so one dimensional that way though.  My aunt would do WW with them and did get on their weight at times but it didn't define them, wasn't a comfort or something they obsessed over.  They had some bullying, maybe more than they admitted, but I think because of there outgoing personalities, they weren't seen for just that either by some peers.  I feel for Kate, it's a crutch she likes, she can blame relationship failure on it, not getting a job, a gig, etc. I'm sure she hates it sometimes too, but if someone could wave a magic wand now and have her a size 10, she'd probably gain it back, she has to find out why.

Edited January 18, 2018 by debraran

[Wings]

On 1/16/2018 at 8:50 PM, debraran said:

I've heard people say that about any addiction. It was hard not having an issue that they had for so long.

I wonder if they will show Kate really thin, they could be padding teen Kate a bit, her clothes are cut in an unflattering way sometimes, and then she spirals. That is quite a lot of weight they want us to think she put in on in a few years but if she really spiraled after the death, I wish she got help earlier.

There is no padding on her.  Google her at SAG awards to see her in that blue dress. 

[Nire]

On 1/10/2018 at 5:58 AM, debraran said:

I feel guilty but I thought the same thing, her face seemed puffier. I wondered if that is why they wrote the relapse in. I thought maybe when fans said it seemed like she was losing weight last season they might have her look heavier and then later, have her look thinner after eating less and exercising, etc.  Then they'd try again for baby. I wish her the best, have my own struggles with weight but they never addressed why in her TV life as a child, Kate had issues. She didn't buy her own food, was it genetics that made her weight more, less activity? Did the doctor have any suggestions? My cousin was heavier than her siblings who ate about the same but her parents had them all eat a bit less junk, took hikes, bike rides and she had a less addictive relationship with food later. I struggle with stress eating because like many kids, I was offered sweets when upset, bully bothered you, here's a cookie, bad day at school, here's a brownie. It is a pull for many, I'm just glad I don't like to drink alcohol so that was never a temptation.

Although obviously sometimes there is no real reason why somebody is heavier I feel like they missed a chance to explain it.  Since Kate was one of a set of triplets they could have said she was very tiny when she was born and her parents were instructed by doctors to feed her fatty foods and lots of foods to encourage her to grow.  My nephew is only ten but when he was a baby my SIL was instructed by his pediatrician (who was also my BIL's pediatrician so a doctor who had been practicing since at least the 80s) to do things like put extra butter on everything and feed him lots of fatty foods to help him gain weight because the doctor was concerned about why he was so skinny.  My SIL switched pediatricians but if that had been followed one could see how that could cause a unhealthy relationship with food from an early age.  I feel like something like that would help explain why Kate is the only one in her family that struggles with weight besides a great-grandmother.

[debraran]

They are going to make the weight gain a big part of the stress of her mourning Jack, but that has be mingled with other things. I also hope they show that someone at least tried to help her, suggesting therapy or other things to help her on the path to mental and physical wellness. She's an adult and will do what she wants, but at least show that someone other than her mom acknowledged it.

I felt the scene eating in the car in her 20's was profoundly sad.

Where are you at?" Kevin asks Kate, revealing he hadn't had an audition in nearly a year. "You still sittin' in your car, eating fast food and staring at where the house used to be?"

"He's gone," Kevin continues. "OK? And he's not coming back. Even if you sit there, in the exact same spot where you were when he left… he's not coming back."

Edited January 28, 2018 by debraran

[Mrs. DuRona]

Non-weight related re: Kate's character.  When she was watching the video Jack made in yesterday's episode, and Toby asked what song she was singing - she told him she wrote it.  Maybe instead of a singing career, she pursues a song writing career?  It would still be in the field of music, and writing songs could be therapeutic for her.  They probably won't go in that direction, but I think it would be a lovely one for her character to go in.

[Trillium]

1 hour ago, Mrs. DuRona said:

Non-weight related re: Kate's character.  When she was watching the video Jack made in yesterday's episode, and Toby asked what song she was singing - she told him she wrote it.  Maybe instead of a singing career, she pursues a song writing career?  It would still be in the field of music, and writing songs could be therapeutic for her.  They probably won't go in that direction, but I think it would be a lovely one for her character to go in.

And more realistic. Weight aside, they’ve shown she’s an ok singer but not great. I actually think they might go that direction. 

[GSMHvisitor]

11 hours ago, Trillium said:

And more realistic. Weight aside, they’ve shown she’s an ok singer but not great. I actually think they might go that direction. 

That's a great idea. I hope it's on the writers minds aswell.

[debraran]

I think so too, expand on your old dream. It's not a good legacy to keep mourning and not getting help when needed. Someone needs to point out to her again,  Kevin did once, that Jack would hate seeing her the way she is, even Kevin, he got help with AA, there is no shame in saying, I can't do something alone. 20 years of carrying that load is too much.

[methodwriter85]

On 2/5/2018 at 4:36 PM, Trillium said:

And more realistic. Weight aside, they’ve shown she’s an ok singer but not great. I actually think they might go that direction. 

I could see Kate becoming a manager for a band or something. She seems to be great at schmoozing with people, and Chrissy was a junior agent or something like that. That episode with Jami Gertz seemed to be the one time she actually seemed to be kicking ass and having fun.

[Pallas]

I hope this focus on Kate's songwriting is a misdirect, or becomes a thought that she considers but decides against, in the long run. But I'm afraid Jack's "You're not Alanis Morissette; what you are, is Kate Pearson" concept won't turn out to mean, "You don't have to be a pop star to have a self."  "You don't need to see yourself in the mirror, or on camera, or even in my eyes, to be a human being." 

If you don't want to become a vet anymore, Kate, please give your time and heart to helping animals. Or any other passion that includes service without stardom. 

[ShadowFacts]

I was thinking that now that we know Jack died of a heart attack, Kate should be focused more on that aspect of her health.  She has a first degree relative who died before age 55 from a coronary blockage, massive coronary, widowmaker, however it may be termed.  I have read that in Chrissy's family, her father had bypass surgery and her mother had a stroke.  If true, and I don't know that it is, she has a possible ticking time bomb herself. 

[chocolatine]

17 minutes ago, Pallas said:

I hope this focus on Kate's songwriting is a misdirect, or becomes a thought that she considers but decides against, in the long run.

I hope so too, because the one instance of her songwriting that we've seen wasn't impressive. While Alanis wasn't everyone's cup of tea, her lyrics were daring and provoked a reaction. Kate's lyrics about "staying strong" and "hanging on" were generic and bland.

[JudyObscure]

Another season without enough Kate to satisfy me.  She is the character who interests me most and I keep hoping they will  do more about her job, and go deep into the world of weight struggles with her.  At the same time, I just read a new study that says morbidly obese women die, on average two years earlier than normal weight women.  Two years.  Meaning Kate's life expectancy is 79 instead of 81.  And that's only for morbidly obese.  So I'm thinking, would I rather live to 79 eating whatever I want, or live to 81 hungry?  I think I would choose powdered donuts and 79!  Maybe Kate/Chrissy Metz would, too.  If that's Kate and Toby's thinking I wish they would show that.  In any case I guess we should quit expecting Kate/Chrissy to collapse in a heap at any moment.  I'll admit I have been frightened for her.

[blondiec0332]

2 hours ago, JudyObscure said:

Another season without enough Kate to satisfy me.  She is the character who interests me most and I keep hoping they will  do more about her job, and go deep into the world of weight struggles with her.  At the same time, I just read a new study that says morbidly obese women die, on average two years earlier than normal weight women.  Two years.  Meaning Kate's life expectancy is 79 instead of 81.  And that's only for morbidly obese.  So I'm thinking, would I rather live to 79 eating whatever I want, or live to 81 hungry?  I think I would choose powdered donuts and 79!  Maybe Kate/Chrissy Metz would, too.  If that's Kate and Toby's thinking I wish they would show that.  In any case I guess we should quit expecting Kate/Chrissy to collapse in a heap at any moment.  I'll admit I have been frightened for her.

But what is the quality of life for those two years?  Being obese causes a wide range of health issues.

[ShadowFacts]

2 hours ago, JudyObscure said:

Another season without enough Kate to satisfy me.  She is the character who interests me most and I keep hoping they will  do more about her job, and go deep into the world of weight struggles with her.  At the same time, I just read a new study that says morbidly obese women die, on average two years earlier than normal weight women.  Two years.  Meaning Kate's life expectancy is 79 instead of 81.  And that's only for morbidly obese.  So I'm thinking, would I rather live to 79 eating whatever I want, or live to 81 hungry?  I think I would choose powdered donuts and 79!  Maybe Kate/Chrissy Metz would, too.  If that's Kate and Toby's thinking I wish they would show that.  In any case I guess we should quit expecting Kate/Chrissy to collapse in a heap at any moment.  I'll admit I have been frightened for her.

I agree I'd like more of Kate's weight struggles.  But I haven't stopped worrying about Chrissy.  If what I've read is correct, her father has had bypass surgery and her mother had a stroke, and they're not very old.  We also know now that Jack died from a widowmaker cardiac blockage.  So her/Kate's life expectancy might not be much shortened, but there could be very significant impacts.  I would also choose powdered donuts, probably (who am I kidding, I do), but I'm not her size nor do I have that exact family history.  The show needs to return to it because it was a stepping off point in her introduction at the age 36 birthday.  She said to Kevin words to the effect, "Tell me to lose the weight already." 

[cameron]

I definitely think she is getting fatter in real life.  Obese enters in my mind.

[Guest]

4 hours ago, JudyObscure said:

Another season without enough Kate to satisfy me.  She is the character who interests me most and I keep hoping they will  do more about her job, and go deep into the world of weight struggles with her.  At the same time, I just read a new study that says morbidly obese women die, on average two years earlier than normal weight women.  Two years.  Meaning Kate's life expectancy is 79 instead of 81.  And that's only for morbidly obese.  So I'm thinking, would I rather live to 79 eating whatever I want, or live to 81 hungry?  I think I would choose powdered donuts and 79!  Maybe Kate/Chrissy Metz would, too.  If that's Kate and Toby's thinking I wish they would show that.  In any case I guess we should quit expecting Kate/Chrissy to collapse in a heap at any moment.  I'll admit I have been frightened for her.

 I tried to google up more because I'm surprised to hear that 1 year (oops, 2), and I ran into this one that says it's 10 years for severe obesity.  Not sure I'd take the donuts in that case.  https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/03/090319224823.htm

Oh wait, I found it--  https://qz.com/1218219/the-obesity-paradox-is-wrong-being-overweight-can-lower-a-male-life-span-by-six-years/

Edited March 16, 2018 by Guest

[MsJamieDornan]

18 hours ago, JudyObscure said:

And that's only for morbidly obese.

We have had this discussion here before, she is way past morbidly obese. 

Edited March 17, 2018 by MsJamieDornan

[ChromaKelly]

5 hours ago, JudyObscure said:

Another season without enough Kate to satisfy me.  She is the character who interests me most and I keep hoping they will  do more about her job, and go deep into the world of weight struggles with her.  At the same time, I just read a new study that says morbidly obese women die, on average two years earlier than normal weight women.  Two years.  Meaning Kate's life expectancy is 79 instead of 81.  And that's only for morbidly obese.  So I'm thinking, would I rather live to 79 eating whatever I want, or live to 81 hungry?  I think I would choose powdered donuts and 79!  Maybe Kate/Chrissy Metz would, too.  If that's Kate and Toby's thinking I wish they would show that.  In any case I guess we should quit expecting Kate/Chrissy to collapse in a heap at any moment.  I'll admit I have been frightened for her.

I think there's a difference between clinical morbidly obese, which TBH isn't all that obese from a how people look perspective. I'm morbidly obese at 50 lbs overweight. But I'm not like OMG look at the fat lady. I can sit in normal seats, I can walk several miles, no one stares at me, etc. Then there's Chrissy Metz and people in her weight range where it really affects your daily life. That much weight on a person wears the body down, there is no way someone of that weight live a normal lifespan. 

[JudyObscure]

1 hour ago, ChromaKelly said:

Then there's Chrissy Metz and people in her weight range where it really affects your daily life. That much weight on a person wears the body down, there is no way someone of that weight live a normal lifespan. 

Well Chrissy comes in at the morbidly obese BMI and that's the group (and the only group) of women who have a shorter life expectancy because of their weight. (According to the Study-of the-Day.)

I agree that the weight can cause lots of problems and make normal life a struggle, but I was only talking about the life expectancy thing, because I had just read about it on Winston's second link.

[CelticBlackCat]

Chrissy Metz Says Stepfather Abused Her While Growing Up

http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/tv/chrissy-metz-stepfather-abused-growing-article-1.3887688

[methodwriter85]

2 hours ago, CelticBlackCat said:

Chrissy Metz Says Stepfather Abused Her While Growing Up

http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/tv/chrissy-metz-stepfather-abused-growing-article-1.3887688

I really hope for her sake, she's in therapy because you do not get that big without a lot of self-hatred and stuffing your feelings down. I think a lot about the 650 pound virgin, who lost the weight but then gained it all back. He eventually admitted that he had been abused growing up and that he could not handle seeing a good-looking guy in the mirror. Pretty sad.

[CelticBlackCat]

I am very sad for Chrissy's childhood abuse.  She went on to say in the interview about her new book that she forgave the stepfather and that they are in a good place now.  If that is what works for her to get through life, so be it.  I really hope as well that therapy is part of her life.  She said she lost weight before by eating a 2000 calorie diet and walking 20 minutes a day.  If she could do that once, she could do it again.  I wish her the best.

[crowsworks]

On 10/26/2016 at 11:45 AM, random chance said:

I agree with you completely - it is one of my pet peeves that people who diet on TV always insist on eating godawful food that has the same amount of calories as something that would actually taste good - but since that's how TV works, in-universe, I don't think he's complaining about that, (especially since he isn't offering up alternate same-calorie, better-tasting choices, and it's clear from his size that he has no clue either). I think he is merely undermining her effort to eat healthy low-calorie meals.

Toby is one of those insecure 50's - 60's hubby's "More of you to love" guys. who encouraged their wives to gain weight.

In the fifties I got chunky (ahead of a growth spurt) and my doc gave me - at 10 - diet pills. yeah Diet Pills. (Quote Elvis - They're like vitamins - only better) 

Jump ahead a year, and another doc prescribed liquid valium as I was hyperactive.  (bouncing off the walls)

Mom stood up to her doctors and took me off everything.

Jump ahead to 17 - 5ft6 145 - big boned, athletic size 10. A doctor told me I had to diet as I should weigh 118. Remember Twiggy was the ideal. I got to a bony 125 before going to 155. And I dieted my way up to 250 before getting back to 200. Thanks doc. Yoyo. 

Kids get a little chubby before growth spurts. And the scales don't always tell the whole story

[chocolatine]

4 hours ago, CelticBlackCat said:

I am very sad for Chrissy's childhood abuse.  She went on to say in the interview about her new book that she forgave the stepfather and that they are in a good place now.  If that is what works for her to get through life, so be it.

If that's true, she's a much better person than I am. My father, who in many ways is a great dad, used to ridicule me about my weight when I was a teenager and monitor everything I ate. That, plus point out to me every overweight girl or woman he saw (never a boy or man) as if they were moral failures. I wasn't dangerously overweight, just 10-15 extra pounds, most of it in my boobs (DD-cup by age 15), but he said if I was already chubby as a teenager I would grow into an obese adult. I still haven't completely forgiven him for that 20+ years later, even though he's been very supportive of me in all other ways - education, career, etc. He still looks me up and down every time he sees me and comments on how I look - yay if I'm slim enough for his standards, nay otherwise. I've learned to accept that that's how he is and he's not going to change, but it's still hurtful. I can't even begin to imagine how hurt I would have been if a family member had treated me the way Chrissy's stepfather treated her.

[Guest]

9 hours ago, chocolatine said:

He still looks me up and down every time he sees me and comments on how I look - yay if I'm slim enough for his standards, nay otherwise. I've learned to accept that that's how he is and he's not going to change, but it's still hurtful.

That's how my mother is and always has been.  She's 80 now.  I wonder if they're similar era.  Not that it ever was anything but hurtful.  

My sister was recently diagnosed with an eating disorder.  

[BoogieBurns]

45 minutes ago, Winston9-DT3 said:

That's how my mother is and always has been.  She's 80 now.  I wonder if they're similar era. 

My parents are in their mid 50's and they do this to me as if it's an uncontrollable reflex. Unfortunately, it's not just the era.

[chocolatine]

2 hours ago, Winston9-DT3 said:

That's how my mother is and always has been.  She's 80 now.  I wonder if they're similar era.  Not that it ever was anything but hurtful.  

My father is in his early 60s, so not the same generation as your mother, but still "old-school" in that way. My aunts and uncles are the same way, and my cousins and I just roll our eyes at each other when one of them makes a comment regarding someone's weight. 

2 hours ago, Winston9-DT3 said:

My sister was recently diagnosed with an eating disorder.  

I'm very sorry to hear that.

[qtpye]

17 hours ago, crowsworks said:

Toby is one of those insecure 50's - 60's hubby's "More of you to love" guys. who encouraged their wives to gain weight.

In the fifties I got chunky (ahead of a growth spurt) and my doc gave me - at 10 - diet pills. yeah Diet Pills. (Quote Elvis - They're like vitamins - only better) 

Jump ahead a year, and another doc prescribed liquid valium as I was hyperactive.  (bouncing off the walls)

Mom stood up to her doctors and took me off everything.

Jump ahead to 17 - 5ft6 145 - big boned, athletic size 10. A doctor told me I had to diet as I should weigh 118. Remember Twiggy was the ideal. I got to a bony 125 before going to 155. And I dieted my way up to 250 before getting back to 200. Thanks doc. Yoyo. 

Kids get a little chubby before growth spurts. And the scales don't always tell the whole story

I remember the four girls on the Facts of Life got a lot of grief because they were naturally going through some weight growing pains. Doctors were still jerks in the nineties. I remember my doctor giving me grief for weighing 108 pounds in the fifth grade and totally discounting that I was 5'3" and past puberty. To him, he just saw that was big for a fifth grader.

17 hours ago, chocolatine said:

If that's true, she's a much better person than I am. My father, who in many ways is a great dad, used to ridicule me about my weight when I was a teenager and monitor everything I ate. That, plus point out to me every overweight girl or woman he saw (never a boy or man) as if they were moral failures. I wasn't dangerously overweight, just 10-15 extra pounds, most of it in my boobs (DD-cup by age 15), but he said if I was already chubby as a teenager I would grow into an obese adult. I still haven't completely forgiven him for that 20+ years later, even though he's been very supportive of me in all other ways - education, career, etc. He still looks me up and down every time he sees me and comments on how I look - yay if I'm slim enough for his standards, nay otherwise. I've learned to accept that that's how he is and he's not going to change, but it's still hurtful. I can't even begin to imagine how hurt I would have been if a family member had treated me the way Chrissy's stepfather treated her.

My mother thinks anything that is not stick skinny is fat. If you are bigger than old school Kate Moss you are fat.

It is funny, the more rights women got in society the skinnier the ideal female body became. In the sixties to the nineties, very slender to skinny was the ideal. Think about Charlie's Angels to Allie McBeal.

[Guest]

If it makes anyone feel better, my 17 year old daughter (who is stick thin) says her body isn't the ideal now, it's more the curvy, Kardashian thing that's what all the young girls want.  In some ways I'm glad if it is changing but I also feel sorry for her for feeling out of vogue, like we all do and did.  And I figure the curvy girls probably envy her twiggy look because that whole "only fat in the ass" thing isn't exactly natural or attainable, either.  

[CelticBlackCat]

The pressure for girls who are still growing throughout puberty and trying to find themselves in the world is unrealistic and harmful.  Look at all the magazines that show airbrushed, Photoshopped girls and women and this is the standard to which they should all strive for.  It's all ridiculous.  There's a reason more females suffer from eating disorders than males do.  It's my belief that all it takes is for one comment from someone that is influential in someone's life and if the switch gets thrown, there's your recipe for anorexia nervosa and bulimia.

Chrissy is another victim of size shaming.  She has eaten herself to such an unhealthy weight and really needs therapy to sort it all out in her mind, not just a diet or gastric bypass surgery.  She is a worthy person and is very beautiful.  I'm sure Chrissy is not like Kate in real life as far as her self-centeredness, etc. goes.

[debraran]

7 hours ago, CelticBlackCat said:

The pressure for girls who are still growing throughout puberty and trying to find themselves in the world is unrealistic and harmful.  Look at all the magazines that show airbrushed, Photoshopped girls and women and this is the standard to which they should all strive for.  It's all ridiculous.  There's a reason more females suffer from eating disorders than males do.  It's my belief that all it takes is for one comment from someone that is influential in someone's life and if the switch gets thrown, there's your recipe for anorexia nervosa and bulimia.

Chrissy is another victim of size shaming.  She has eaten herself to such an unhealthy weight and really needs therapy to sort it all out in her mind, not just a diet or gastric bypass surgery.  She is a worthy person and is very beautiful.  I'm sure Chrissy is not like Kate in real life as far as her self-centeredness, etc. goes.

That's true, there usually is a combination of things, but I had a friend who was told by someone she admired, she had a big butt (she didn't) and would probably always have dark circles and was always sensitive about it. More going on there but it didn't take much. My Mom was influenced by others and would point out what others said about my weight hair, etc whether complimentary or not, the same look or weight would evoke so many opinions. It actually made me not care early on, because I saw how arbitrary it was. 

I only see a tiny fraction of people who had bypass or other stomach surgery for weight and it can be successful but "just wanting to be thin" is not enough. So many seem to get it without a good psych consult or followup. I've seen about 8-10 over the years and more failed or caused harm than helped. Most gained weight back, which is normal, but some you can't tell they ever had it. A few were successful and changed their lives in all areas so still get counseling, changing your eating is easy for a while, then it's harder.  Chrissy could lose a lot with surgery but she could also hurt herself trying to go back to her old habits. She can also do it without surgery, slower, but I know if he wanted too, she'd get a lot of support.

[qtpye]

12 hours ago, Winston9-DT3 said:

If it makes anyone feel better, my 17 year old daughter (who is stick thin) says her body isn't the ideal now, it's more the curvy, Kardashian thing that's what all the young girls want.  In some ways I'm glad if it is changing but I also feel sorry for her for feeling out of vogue, like we all do and did.  And I figure the curvy girls probably envy her twiggy look because that whole "only fat in the ass" thing isn't exactly natural or attainable, either.  

Yeah, I remember talking to an older lady who was a teenager in the fifties who hated that her slender body and wished she was curvier like the movie stars of the time. I wish I could tell all young girls to forget about what pop culture tells them is ideal and love themselves. I think a lot of women gave themselves tons of grief when they were younger because they thought they did not fit the proper "mold". It is ridiculous because there is great beauty in all types of physiques and shapes.

[qtpye]

Quote

 

he pressure for girls who are still growing throughout puberty and trying to find themselves in the world is unrealistic and harmful.  Look at all the magazines that show airbrushed, Photoshopped girls and women and this is the standard to which they should all strive for.  It's all ridiculous.  There's a reason more females suffer from eating disorders than males do.  It's my belief that all it takes is for one comment from someone that is influential in someone's life and if the switch gets thrown, there's your recipe for anorexia nervosa and bulimia.

Chrissy is another victim of size shaming.  She has eaten herself to such an unhealthy weight and really needs therapy to sort it all out in her mind, not just a diet or gastric bypass surgery.  She is a worthy person and is very beautiful.  I'm sure Chrissy is not like Kate in real life as far as her self-centeredness, etc. goes.

 

I know that it is the way it was for me. People almost harrassed me to the point that I wanted to be skinny just to disappear. When I say "people" I mean adults who would say things like "You are getting fat" and thought they had the right to criticise my young body just because I was female. I got very skinny, to the point where I stunted my growth a bit. I remember being actually shocked when a lot of men did not find that attractive because I was always told that was the ONLY thing men found attractive.

[NutMeg]

It's amazing how powerful what we hear about our body as children/preteen is. It's also amazing how we react to it, whether it's to reinforce the message or to invalidate it.

I've known both, as a child I was all legs and arms, muscular thanks to ballet but also super slim. My mother, who came of age in the 50s/60s, convinced me that my apparent clavicles, and that little bone protruding on my shoulder (genetic from my father's side) had to be kept hidden. It's only in my 30s that I realized my arms looked great in tank tops, before that I had always hidden them behind sleeves.

In my early teens, I decided to put on weight to hide these flaws, and started eating as much fattening food as I coud (not that much, actually, because what I'm more inclined to are veggies, bread and pickles:)...). But I put on weight, and puberty hit at the same time, and suddenly neighbours were commenting on how much weight I had put on (maybe 10 pounds...) and what a shame it was when I had had such a nice silhouette before (well where were they when I was fretting about my protruding bones???).

I was lucky back then, once the worst of puberty was over, my genetically inherited quick metabolism helped me go back to my normal weight, and apart for the embedded compulsion to hide my clavicles, I had a healthy relation with my body.

I hope I don't sound like a Madison here. (And by the way, I'm now experiencing a slower metabolism, and I'm still adapting - my abs are stronger than ever, but still the tummy, it is not flat....) I just wanted to add my two cents about weigh issues and how powerful any comment about that is to a growing young girl.  

[Pallas]

On 3/22/2018 at 6:52 PM, qtpye said:

It is funny, the more rights women got in society the skinnier the ideal female body became. In the sixties to the nineties, very slender to skinny was the ideal. Think about Charlie's Angels to Allie McBeal.

And along with skin and bones came hairless. The rise of the unbearded lady parts. Together with the too-long sleeves meant to be clutched, thumb to palm, like hand-me-downs from an imaginary big sister. All designed to appease and suggest that, never mind -- women just want to be girls, and girls just want to be pets. 

On 3/23/2018 at 9:20 AM, qtpye said:

When I say "people" I mean adults who would say things like "You are getting fat" and thought they had the right to criticise my young body just because I was female.

They were only thinking of your future!...And alas. Their vision of a female's future in the eyes of many was accurate: that we'd be visible only insofar as we can be objectified; seen as valuable only insofar as we can be used.

[qtpye]

3 hours ago, Pallas said:

And along with skin and bones came hairless. The rise of the unbearded lady parts. Together with the too-long sleeves meant to be clutched, thumb to palm, like hand-me-downs from an imaginary big sister. All designed to appease and suggest that, never mind -- women just want to be girls, and girls just want to be pets. 

They were only thinking of your future!...And alas. Their vision of a female's future in the eyes of many was accurate: that we'd be visible only insofar as we can be objectified; seen as valuable only insofar as we can be used.

Yes, even though I was always told to get a good education and land a solid career, there was still an element of "What will happen if she cannot attract a good man" type of mentality still left when I was growing up. It was assumed that a woman would work and have the perfect family life as well. To be single or unmarried for the long haul was unthinkable so the obsession with the appearance set in with me and many of my peers.

[Lady Calypso]

It's cool if you'd like to discuss beauty standards and weight/body issues as it pertains to Kate or Chrissy Metz. That is on topic here. What isn't is talking about these topics generally. If you'd like to talk about these topics in a more general sense, please feel free to take it to our Small Talk thread.

Thanks everyone! 

[chocolatine]

6 minutes ago, Winston9-DT3 said:

The book has a very derivative title-- 'This Is Me'.  

I agree, plus her having written a memoir at this point in her career is a bit preposterous. I like reading memoirs by actresses who've had long and prolific careers, but Chrissy only has a guest stint on American Horror Story and two seasons of TIU under her belt. Is the book mostly about her struggles with her weight, and how poorly she was treated because of it? She has my sympathy, but I don't think that makes for compelling reading.

[Pallas]

She's also doing a book tour, coming to Boston on Thursday. From the bio there:

Quote

When This Is Us first debuted, viewers embraced a show that celebrates human connection and the power of family. The critically acclaimed series is now beloved and viewers overwhelmingly relate to the humor, depth, and vibrancy Chrissy Metz brings to playing Kate Pearson.

This spring, join Chrissy Metz on her This Is Me Tour for an evening of honest conversation about life and its lessons – featuring real advice, tough love, and shared moments of are-you-kidding-me, I-wish-I-was laughter. Chrissy will share the struggles and triumphs of her life, and invites you to join her on a journey not just of self-acceptance, but of embracing the lives we want and deserve.

Each ticket includes a copy of Chrissy Metz’s memoir, This Is Me: Loving the Person You Are Today (a $26.99 value, on sale March 27).

[Lady Calypso]

3 hours ago, chocolatine said:

I agree, plus her having written a memoir at this point in her career is a bit preposterous. I like reading memoirs by actresses who've had long and prolific careers, but Chrissy only has a guest stint on American Horror Story and two seasons of TIU under her belt. Is the book mostly about her struggles with her weight, and how poorly she was treated because of it? She has my sympathy, but I don't think that makes for compelling reading.

True. But on the hand, she may be at the peak of her career right now. Once the show ends, she may get good roles, but they won't be as popular as her role now. So why not capitalize on her infamy with a book? It has higher chances of selling now, with the show being at its peak (as I suspect, once this show gets to season 4, it won't be as popular as it is now). 

It's actually a very smart career move for her. I don't plan on buying her book, but I think a lot of people will be.

[chocolatine]

5 minutes ago, Lady Calypso said:

So why not capitalize on her infamy with a book?

Because it's a vanity project and she likely doesn't have much of interest to write about.

[debraran]

1 hour ago, Lady Calypso said:

True. But on the hand, she may be at the peak of her career right now. Once the show ends, she may get good roles, but they won't be as popular as her role now. So why not capitalize on her infamy with a book? It has higher chances of selling now, with the show being at its peak (as I suspect, once this show gets to season 4, it won't be as popular as it is now). 

It's actually a very smart career move for her. I don't plan on buying her book, but I think a lot of people will be.

I agree, I wont buy the book but wish her well. This might be her peak and if honestly, she doesn't lose weight, in her medium, jobs might be scarce. It's just a reality.

I hope she is happy and if not, she finds it in whatever healthy way she can. We all want that.

[Wings]

16 hours ago, chocolatine said:

Because it's a vanity project and she likely doesn't have much of interest to write about.

Agree.  The topic of weight/eating disorders in relation to abuse and social pressure has been done over and over again.  I doubt she has a new light to shine on it.

To me her book is just cashing in on the popularity of this show.  She may have been approached by a publisher offering her a deal to tell her story to a ghost writer they furnish. 

Edited March 27, 2018 by Wings

[chocolatine]

1 hour ago, Wings said:

She may have been approached by a publisher offering her a deal to tell her story to a ghost writer they furnish. 

 

I was curious about that so I checked the "look inside" feature on the book's Amazon page, and indeed another writer is credited:

 

Plus, Amazon categorizes this book under Self-Help as well as Biographies & Memoirs, which is even more reason for me not to read it.

Edited March 27, 2018 by chocolatine

[debraran]

Chrissy is in my area of CT today, usually this bookstore doesn't charge but they moved it to a school auditorium and charging 33.00 for book and talk.  They have had long lines at bookstore before but maybe they thought with the popularity of the show, to have it in a larger area.  It sold out but I didn't really want to go. Meeting her would have been nice but I don't think I would want the book or feel she is qualified to tell tell others how to work things out when she is still doing that herself. Not the first time the popularity of a show made a quick book but I hope she does well, I'm sure she'll sell out many places.  I also feel a lot of the questions will be about the show vs the book.  ; )

[SunnyBeBe]

I wish her well and hope the book was therapeutic for her.  I heard a snippet that she thought her stepfather insisting that she weigh on a scale as a child was abusive.....that kind of made me wonder about her allegations, because, parents do have a responsibility to monitor their child's health....so....I don't know.  From what I've been seeing lately with morbidly obese people......there seems to be a skewed sense of reality of when they were kids. Like a parent starved them because their snacks were limited.  Maybe, I should read her book, but, I doubt that I will.  Watching her is quite painful and I don't want to read about how she's justifying it.  It's painful for me (her physical health) so I can't even imagine how painful it must be for her.  At least that's my take on it. 

 http://toofab.com/2018/03/21/this-is-us-chrissy-metz-stepfathers-body-shaming-abuse/

Edited April 2, 2018 by SunnyBeBe