S04.E09: In Sickness and In Health

[BunnySlippers]

2 hours ago, psychoticstate said:

Hmm, I don't find that strange.  When I was going through a divorce, there was a part of me that worried that it was something I had done and I did put more concern into what other people thought that was really necessary.  In Derek's case, he did something that the majority of people would find strange to begin with - - he married a stranger.  He may have received flak over that.  So I can understand why he would now be worried about what people would think and maybe the inevitable "I told you so"s.  

 

It was just strange to me, since the only people I've known in my life who were concerned with what other people might think were women. So, to me, it was a little strange to hear that from a man. But you're right, everybody's different and men can feel like that as well. And if Derek had received flak over him doing this show from his friends/family, he probably dreads telling them that they were right. But it also shows, at least to me, that how he's perceived by others is very important to him.

 

1 hour ago, Snarklepuss said:

I agree and I think that's because Derek is quite insecure.  I also think he's touchy because he's 35 and has probably had a dreadful relationship history.  He's probably worried about his friends' and family's reactions because he has likely screwed up what might potentially be a good thing many times before and they know that.  I could just see his mother act very disappointed in him in private after seeing him on screen telling what was for all intents and purposes a relative stranger to "get off her high horse" and that she was acting like she was "from the 1940s" or something.  The more I think about that the more it hits me that he was definitely reacting like a child to a parent.  His response was DRIPPING in misplaced mommy issues and I think Heather saw that right away.  His response was OTT and reeked of a type of familiarity he just did NOT have with Heather at that point.  They had only known each other a scant few days.  He was reacting like he knew Heather for decades!

Yes, maybe he's screwed up a lot of times before, so it's embarrassing to him to have yet another failure. And that's a good point: he lashed out at Heather and threw insults at her as if he'd known her for years, when in fact they'd only known each other for a couple of days.

 

1 hour ago, julyjen said:

He seems to only want to have quiet. It's not like she bombarding him with hard hitting questions.  She was sitting there and wanted to chit chat.  He just outright ignored her. It was a hard scene to watch. 

It was also sad how she asked the dog, "How was your day?" because she couldn't have a discussion like that with her husband.

[okerry]

54 minutes ago, cinsays said:

Maybe they tried to have sex and he couldn't..........

So now he's saying he doesn't find her attractive just to give him an excuse for not being able to do the deed?  He's embarrassed and trying to blame her?  Kinda like......If she was hotter, he'd have been the best lover in the world, so it is not his fault.......

Oooooh, I think we've got a winning theory here - 

[Snewtsie]

It's clear Nick came on the show to promote his business- nothing more.  It's just so ridiculous how he wears his damned Section 8 YC t-shirts in every scene.  I felt so bad for Sonia when he blew up.  She had made some really positive efforts, & all were wasted.  She seems like a really nice person & didn't deserve his cruelty.

In the preview scene ...I can't believe they consummated the marriage, but perhaps they fooled around a little during one of the last nights they were together. "We had sex" doesn't necessarily mean intercourse.  And if he couldn't perform easily due to his lack of attraction, that may have been the final straw in pushing him to be honest about it.  Just a thought.

[booboopbedoo]

Quote

I'm still not believing Nick and Sonia had sex.

Maybe they did and he couldn't get it up and now blames her or she is weird in bed and makes barnyard noises.

I really disliked this episode and also fast forwarded it -really pissed me off.

[Cherrio]

25 minutes ago, BunnySlippers said:

  1 hour ago, julyjen said:

He seems to only want to have quiet. It's not like she bombarding him with hard hitting questions.  She was sitting there and wanted to chit chat.  He just outright ignored her. It was a hard scene to watch. 

I agree with this.   I don't see her as a non stop talker, but rather desperate to get him to talk.  To me she seems like a really sweet person. Not perfect, but sincere and kind.

[psychoticstate]

19 minutes ago, Snewtsie said:

It's clear Nick came on the show to promote his business- nothing more.  It's just so ridiculous how he wears his damned Section 8 YC t-shirts in every scene.  I felt so bad for Sonia when he blew up.  She had made some really positive efforts, & all were wasted.  She seems like a really nice person & didn't deserve his cruelty.

I agree because I speculated on this somewhere myself, that maybe Nick had no intention of being set up for a real marriage and he's angry/frustrated/resentful because he was matched with someone who clearly does.   I guess this is why I don't want to guess what surrounded any type of sexual activity they had or didn't have, why it worked or it didn't, etc.  We don't really know and won't unless one of them says.

[psychoticstate]

38 minutes ago, BunnySlippers said:

It was also sad how she asked the dog, "How was your day?" because she couldn't have a discussion like that with her husband.

Concur.  Especially coming from someone who is not a dog person whatsoever - - and yet she appears more relaxed and comfortable talking to Dax and Lola.

[Jessie]

The shows producers should give Sonia a 2nd try on another season, and just end this marriage.  Nick has not given any real attempt to bond with Sonia. He always has the look of annoyance when around Sonia.  I feel so bad for her, because you can tell she is trying.  The comments he made on the last episode were mean and uncalled for.  Plus I think he is onto men, sorry just do. 

[Vinyasa]

Quote

It's clear Nick came on the show to promote his business- nothing more.  It's just so ridiculous how he wears his damned Section 8 YC t-shirts in every scene.

Why are the producers allowing Nick to promote those stupid T-shirts?

That is the million dollar question.

[Passthepopcorn]

Wow!! And the beast was unleashed. Holly cow, Nick. Thanks for saving Sonia's time. She did exactly what needed to be done. Bye bye on the spot. Enough said. He wants instant attraction and getting along or nothing. No work. Being with a man that feels like that about you would be like begging and getting the crumbs ("would he like me if I did this, said that, wore that?") There is NO way.

I have to say that I don't relate to the strong dislike for Derek in this forum. I wouldn't have picked him as a husband and I know that he did and said some stupid things. But I see heart in him. I really do. I'd be ok with someone like that as a coworker, neighbor, acquaintance. And don't get me wrong, I get Heather's decision, I respect that she respects herself. I thought this was completely finished and dead, until I saw the preview... Did I see sparks?

Tom and Lily seem like they've known each other for a while. All comfortable there.    

Edited September 21, 2016 by Passthepopcorn

[Evil Queen]

2 hours ago, Neurochick said:

I think Sonia could turn anybody into a jerk, make that Sonia + Producer manipulation.  If someone is on their computer and not saying anything, that means they want quiet.  Nothing jerky about wanting quiet sometimes. 

Where is Heather's family in all of this?  We saw Derrick's mother last night, what about Heather's family and friends?  I wonder what they think of all this.

Did we ever her if her parents live near here or even in the same state? Which could be a reason we haven't seen them since the wedding plus maybe they aren't full on wanting the cameras in their face like some might. As well as her friends and family may know what really went on and wanted nothing to do with the show past the wedding after hearing things. Things that I wish we knew happened and they aren't telling us. LOL 

If Nick wanted quiet he could have nicely said something but the guy doesn't know how to do such things. There is nothing shy or introverted about him. He isn't a people pleaser or anything else. He is one of those people that will use whatever excuse in the moment to make it work for him to never take blame or responsibility for a single thing. 

1 hour ago, Jellybeans said:

Men tend to say what they mean.  He said he was attracted to her in the beginning and over time due to her inability to communicate (i.e., walking out of the room) he found her less attractive over time.  She seems to be figuring this out.

Did I miss the boat here?

He was never attracted to her. That walking out of the room is just an excuse he is trying to use to excuse himself from anything wrong. 

1 hour ago, ChristmasJones said:

Nick has been very difficult to engage with from the start. I remember them standing at that table right after they said their vows, sipping champagne, and Sonia was trying to make conversation and Nick was giving one-word answers.

He is using deflection when he discussed her walking away.  That is just a way to take the focus off his own behavior.

BINGO! Deflection is what he is doing. He wants it to be all on her for everything wrong but not himself. He has not done anything to match all of what he has said on her and the marriage. I'd walk away from his bs too but I would have probably thrown in a few words to him. The times we saw her not want to deal with him in those moments were the times he said off the wall things that had nothing to do with what was being talked about or asked. He had that look on his face each time like he was trying to get a rise out of her or something. They were comments that I thought were telling her he didn't like her but I think she wanted him to just say it since he was also sending conflicting messages with telling her she is "awesome" or the "marriage is an 8" and so on. All he had to do was say in some respectful, non assholish way, that he wasn't feeling things between them and ask maybe how she felt about them as well. I am not sure why he ever signed up for this show beyond trying to sell his shirts. 

[Evil Queen]

1 hour ago, BunnySlippers said:

It was just strange to me, since the only people I've known in my life who were concerned with what other people might think were women. So, to me, it was a little strange to hear that from a man. But you're right, everybody's different and men can feel like that as well. And if Derek had received flak over him doing this show from his friends/family, he probably dreads telling them that they were right. But it also shows, at least to me, that how he's perceived by others is very important to him.

 

Yes, maybe he's screwed up a lot of times before, so it's embarrassing to him to have yet another failure. And that's a good point: he lashed out at Heather and threw insults at her as if he'd known her for years, when in fact they'd only known each other for a couple of days.

 

It was also sad how she asked the dog, "How was your day?" because she couldn't have a discussion like that with her husband.

Did Derek say during the honeymoon something about all his relationships not working for a certain reason? I can't remember the exact words but it came off more as if he never once has taken responsibility for his part of relationships not working out and its always the woman's fault. Which I wonder if that is how he grew up as well. He does seem very much like a mama's boy to me and I wouldn't be surprised if she always told him that it was all ok and not his fault that for things. When really he should have been responsible instead for things that went on and learned to deal with it. Here we have him not once excepting his part in this marriage failing fast and what he might have done to fix it or how he shouldn't have done certain things. *steps away from armchair therapy* 

[Jellybeans]

Heather did too. 

[Vinyasa]

2 hours ago, RocketGirl said:

At least we weren't subjected to Derek's backwards baseball cap again

Now we were subjected to Nick's backwards glasses around the back of his neck.

Did anyone notice that?

[Passthepopcorn]

15 hours ago, Evil Queen said:

Yet even if its a dog I can handle I do not want it jumping on me or licking me. 

Agree! And I've had dogs most of my life. To see the dog putting his butt on Nick's pillow, the other dog on Sonia's side and licking his entire face. Yuck, no no.

Not the dogs fault though. They are being dogs, they love their human. But you have to step up as a leader and set the boundaries. Especially when you are next to someone who doesn't like dogs.

[Liberty]

42 minutes ago, Vinyasa said:

Why are the producers allowing Nick to promote those stupid T-shirts?

That is the million dollar question.

He is paying a promotional fee.  

 

They don't even show a restaurant's name unless they are paid a promotional fee.  They cover the company name on the gift bags Rachel gave the couples with tape. etc.

[gonecrackers]

I'm surprised at my own interpretation of this episode, but here goes...

Neither Nick or Sonia should have been chosen for this show, except to make TV. She can't communicate & when she tries she gets pushy, because he's difficult & she doesn't know how to connect with him. Nick's response, since he also doesn't know how to communicate, is to say something stupid &/or inappropriate, & in this episode, downright mean. 

I tried to really listen to him, & I think he felt no spark with her from the get go (I could see that), but 'tried' - & I mean that with whatever 'tried' means to him, on the honeymoon, but when things didn't improve (in terms of how he was feeling but not sharing), he became more shut down. In response Sonia became more insistent that he 'open up' (maybe production or 'expert' driven nagging), which clearly not only shut him down more but pissed him off. Honestly when I'm pushed too hard I can get pissed too, although older & now I can control my reaction more, even if annoyed. She also pushed him while he was clearly drunk & in front of the cameras & crew. I wonder why except that everyone (perhaps even Sonia herself), wanted a reaction - which of course they got. It was not the time for that at. all.

His comments on this being work & shouldn't be - clearly very naive, but not surprising if he's never had a committed relationship yet. I'm thinking he really put a bit too much on the 'experts' on that one, or maybe he's just someone who wants everything relational to come easy or it's too intense for him (not relationship material guy which may be why he's still alone).

This episode had me so tired of hearing 'open up' & 'communicate'. I don't know if even the 'experts' know what that means or how to apply it properly to the couples. There was no guidance for two people thrown together who can't communicate - what is that?? They needed to sit down - together - with a qualified counselor (notice I didn't say 'expert') & have that person help them learn what that actually means to each other & how to apply it when they are together.

On Nick though - again the naivete showing - he wanted everything to progress naturally, however, the situation he put himself in was not in any way natural or 'organic'. oy & sigh

She's probably nice enough, but I have to agree with those who find Sonia a bit annoying though, as I can get irritated & drained listening to her too, & I don't even hear much. She may really just be rubbing him the wrong way (no pun intended on the previews) & he can't deal with her anymore.

However, that in no way condones what he said to or about her, but I think it gave the TV people what they wanted.

[Vinyasa]

6 minutes ago, Liberty said:

He is paying a promotional fee.  

 

They don't even show a restaurant's name unless they are paid a promotional fee.  They cover the company name on the gift bags Rachel gave the couples with tape. etc.

It is insane that the "participant getting married" can even be allowed to pay the fee. It shouldn't even be an option!

They are there for a because they want to be married, which all of them swear by!

I can understand the restaurants  but not the "husband".  Right?

[zxy556575]

3 minutes ago, gonecrackers said:

However, that in no way condones what he said to or about her, but I think it gave the TV people what they wanted.

It's too bad he had to be drunk and angry to finally spit it out, but being honest about his true feelings towards Sonia is the first thing Nick has done that I approved of.

[gonecrackers]

Derek is still not taking responsibility - he's walking around acting depressed & whiny. I would love to just hear him say he wished he did something differently; that would make me feel differently about him.

His mom is just believing whatever he tells her. She probably does not know him as well as she thinks; that happens a lot with kids & their parents.

I liked Heather's reaction to the letter writing better than Derek's. She seemed to realize it could promote closure & healing (it can even though they didn't 'share' much good), & he looked like he was annoyed at the suggestion. I'm very interested to see their meeting in the next episode.

Derek looked out of it the whole time - kind of stoned maybe? Something didn't seem right about him & his eyes looked irritated.

His dog Jake sure is cute though. It's too bad because Heather had told him she loves dogs, so it would not have been a 'Sonia situation' there.

Tom & Lilly are cute together (I never thought I would think that never mind 'say' it), so far, but I'm still waiting to see what happens there. It's good to see something besides all the crazy with everyone else though. The bathroom policy discussion was pretty funny - was Tom drunk there? He looked to be & maybe that's why he didn't care just saying it LOL.

Btw, for Nick & Sonia, coconut oil works really well for cooking eggs, IF they ever cook together again. They also don't 'pretend asleep' very well. I'm doubting they just woke up when the dog jumped them due to them being all mic'd up, unless they have to sleep that way (maybe they want hours of snoring footage?).

Edited September 21, 2016 by gonecrackers
spelling

[ChristmasJones]

I don't think Sonia and the producers would still be asking Nick to open up if he had the ability to relate in a genuine way to begin with. This was not a guy who was open and friendly to start with and then shut down once he got to know her. He has been practically mute since the very beginning.  I believe Sonia's expectations for conversation are entirely normal. I don't know where this whole narrative of her being a "bad communicator" came from, but I just don't see it.  Nick has been like a stone wall all the way through.  We don't see him laugh or show any facial expressions. She is being expected to interact with a wooden puppet, and then blamed for being a poor communicator.

[gonecrackers]

6 minutes ago, lordonia said:

It's too bad he had to be drunk and angry to finally spit it out, but being honest about his true feelings towards Sonia is the first thing Nick has done that I approved of.

Yeah he was seriously pent up, & under the influence just exploded.

[gonecrackers]

3 minutes ago, ChristmasJones said:

I don't know where this whole narrative of her being a "bad communicator" came from, but I just don't see it.  Nick has been like a stone wall all the way through. 

I think it was said that it's been a problem for her. From what I saw she seems to have trouble expressing herself, however, I will give her kudos for trying, especially with Nick, who was very difficult & yes, closed up pretty tight.

I think he had negative emotions about the whole thing from the beginning & had zero idea how to handle it, so it became a mess.

[watch2much]

19 hours ago, PityFree said:

Letters? Gawd, Dr. Pepper, you are ridiculous. Way to make things drag out for Heather and Derrick. They said goodbye last time they saw each other. They had closure. They don't need more of it. THEY AREN'T GOING TO GET BACK TOGETHER! 

Face it Dr. P. You and the other experts shouldn't be trusted to pair up socks out of the dryer much less people.

I about fell off my chair reading the socks comment.   I totally agree.  Are the so-called "experts" trying to prove there was some reason those two were matched?  Heather looked poised, attractive, took off the ring (duh, why wouldn't you?).  Derek looked clear eyed with Dr. P but every other time he has droopy eyes.  and those glaringly bright tatoos...ugh.  Heather should just say, I saw red flags that he has an abusive personality and I can't let myself be exposed to that for my own emotional well being.

[Kareem]

18 minutes ago, Passthepopcorn said:

Wow!! And the beast was unleashed. Holly cow, Nick. Thanks for saving Sonia's time. She did exactly what needed to be done. Bye bye on the spot. Enough said. He wants instant attraction or nothing. Being with a man that feels like that about you would be like begging and getting the crumbs ("would he like me if I did this, said that, wore that?") There is NO way.

I have to say that I don't relate to the strong dislike for Derek in this forum. I wouldn't have picked him as a husband and I know that he did and said some stupid things. But I see heart in him. I really do. I'd be ok with someone like that as a coworker, neighbor, acquaintance. And don't get me wrong, I get Heather's decision, I respect that she respects herself. I thought this was completely finished and dead, until I saw the preview... Did I see sparks?

Tom and Lily seem like they've known each other for a while. All comfortable there.    

You're not alone on the Derek thing, Popcorn. If I had to spend a day with either of them, I would pick him.  I have such a short fuse for the non-stop sour, judgmental, condescending, holier than thou, bug flicking, suitcase unpacking, beotch on a bike, boozer, ready to bail on Day 2 sideshow I saw of her personality. Even her girlfriend seemed to have her number. Was there anything that made her smile aside from reminiscing about beer bongs while getting loaded and pointing out what a dud he was?

The look on her face in the preview when he walked in was surprising. Maybe she liked the way he looked in a button down shirt or something. It was odd.  Maybe she doesn't love her life as much as she claims to. Knucklehead.  

[watch2much]

6 hours ago, RocketGirl said:

Did I hear Pepper end her conversation with Derek by telling him that he did a "great job"?  A great job at what?  Being insufferable?  She must've shared a joint with him before making that statement.

omg, another great laugh.  I totally agree.  When I heard her compliment him on his "great job" I almost choked.  Perhaps they are trying to offset all the discussion on what he smokes.

[watch2much]

41 minutes ago, lordonia said:

It's too bad he had to be drunk and angry to finally spit it out, but being honest about his true feelings towards Sonia is the first thing Nick has done that I approved of.

yep, and it's too bad Sonia didn't use the opportunity to get some things off her chest.  Maybe they needed a good fight to say some of the things they've been thinking but kept to themselves.  

btw, did Sonia drive off in a new looking Lexus?  now, that would make me curious if someone was in debt as much as she is drives an very expensive car.  I would have a problem with that.  

Looked like the dogs liked her better at the end.

[ctbabe]

1 hour ago, Passthepopcorn said:

have to say that I don't relate to the strong dislike for Derek in this forum. I wouldn't have picked him as a husband and I know that he did and said some stupid things. But I see heart in him. I really do. I'd be ok with someone like that as a coworker, neighbor, acquaintance. And don't get me wrong, I get Heather's decision, I respect that she respects herself.

I totally agree with you. I don't get the strong dislike for Derek.

[Empress1]

57 minutes ago, ChristmasJones said:

I don't think Sonia and the producers would still be asking Nick to open up if he had the ability to relate in a genuine way to begin with. This was not a guy who was open and friendly to start with and then shut down once he got to know her. He has been practically mute since the very beginning.  I believe Sonia's expectations for conversation are entirely normal. I don't know where this whole narrative of her being a "bad communicator" came from, but I just don't see it.  Nick has been like a stone wall all the way through.  We don't see him laugh or show any facial expressions. She is being expected to interact with a wooden puppet, and then blamed for being a poor communicator.

Her best friend said it, both to Sonia's face and in a talking head. She said that many of Sonia's past relationships ended because she couldn't communicate, and she told Sonia that it was time for her to learn to communicate. Her best friend doesn't owe the show anything and she seemed like a blunt sort of person, so I'm inclined to believe her when she says it's long been a problem for Sonia. 

[Enero]

14 minutes ago, watch2much said:

yep, and it's too bad Sonia didn't use the opportunity to get some things off her chest.  Maybe they needed a good fight to say some of the things they've been thinking but kept to themselves.  

btw, did Sonia drive off in a new looking Lexus?  now, that would make me curious if someone was in debt as much as she is drives an very expensive car.  I would have a problem with that.  

Looked like the dogs liked her better at the end.

Sonia did get a few things off her chest. She straight up told Nick that he wasn't what she was looking for nor was she in love with him. Basically she let him know he isn't all that and wasn't rocking her world either, but that she was "committed to the process" and willing to work at the relationship, which was something Nick obviously wasn't willing to do. When Nick's intentions or lack there of were made clear, Sonia wisely left his ass, no need to waste anymore words or brain cells on the dull blade that is him.

I agree with others, though Sonia at times can come off a little annoying, I'm so glad that when Nick showed his ass, she showed him hers by walking out the door. And for all the comments about her being whiny and tremulous, she didn't shed not one tear (at least not on camera) over him. I think she's a lot tougher than what people give her credit for.

[RocketGirl]

So.....what are the "experts" going to do now to convince Nick and Sonia that they really do love each other?  You know they're not going to let Sonia just walk away!

[zxy556575]

Quote

I have to say that I don't relate to the strong dislike for Derek in this forum.

Quote

I think people here are being unfair to Heather.

I think they're both awful.

But it different ways that never should have been matched. ;)

[psychoticstate]

2 hours ago, Kareem said:

You're not alone on the Derek thing, Popcorn. If I had to spend a day with either of them, I would pick him.  I have such a short fuse for the non-stop sour, judgmental, condescending, holier than thou, bug flicking, suitcase unpacking, beotch on a bike, boozer, ready to bail on Day 2 sideshow I saw of her personality. Even her girlfriend seemed to have her number. Was there anything that made her smile aside from reminiscing about beer bongs while getting loaded and pointing out what a dud he was?

The look on her face in the preview when he walked in was surprising. Maybe she liked the way he looked in a button down shirt or something. It was odd.  Maybe she doesn't love her life as much as she claims to. Knucklehead.  

 

1 hour ago, ctbabe said:

I totally agree with you. I don't get the strong dislike for Derek.

 

3 hours ago, Passthepopcorn said:

I have to say that I don't relate to the strong dislike for Derek in this forum. I wouldn't have picked him as a husband and I know that he did and said some stupid things. But I see heart in him. I really do. I'd be ok with someone like that as a coworker, neighbor, acquaintance. And don't get me wrong, I get Heather's decision, I respect that she respects herself. I thought this was completely finished and dead, until I saw the preview... Did I see sparks?

I'm glad I'm not alone in this.  I don't get the dislike for Derek either.  Sure, the comment he made about Heather's age was childish and mean and he absolutely should not have said it but I don't think that one comment is an indicator of all his behavior up to that point.  He did at least appear to be trying and even Heather admitted that he stopped smoking when she spoke to him about it.

We have no idea what all is filmed and in what order some of these things are being shown so I guess we really can't fully criticize Derek or Heather.  Do I think she quit early?  Yep.  She seemed to shut down almost immediately and I don't think it was just the smoking issue.  I don't know exactly what it was and probably won't unless Heather decides to speak on the matter.  I do keep thinking of the interview that was posted around here somewhere where she said that she never thought she would be chosen so maybe that was part of it.  She was picked and she went forward and maybe she wasn't wholly into it.

Regardless, Derek doesn't seem like a bad guy overall.  Maybe he needs more button down shirts and less backward facing caps and going online to Wayfair for some cool accessories and furniture might be a good move (free shipping) but otherwise . . . I'll give him the benefit of the doubt because I do like his dog and his mom. 

[Verojama]

1 hour ago, Enero said:

 

Again i dont understand where everyone is getting that derek is a pothead... I like him i think maybe he made some comments because heather had made a bunch as well plus leaving him behind all the time .. I think he did do a good job and she cowardly left this relationship not wven for the during of 6weeks.. I like derek's dog and mom too

[Paddywagon]

8 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

Heather's letter to Derek...

Dear Derek,

This a fake letter for you to read for the cameras and producers.

Read this...and now, this ... and now read across like there is something deep and profound, lips pursed.... Nod your head in agreement.

Next line...run your gaze to the right and now imagine a hemp emoji...give a soft chuckle and scrunch up your squinty eyes to show amusement.

Finally, faux husband...give a sad wistful tilt of the head, gentle sigh... now fold the letter and look up with eyes welled with tears.

Good job.

Haha love it!  But I think her letter was more along these lines:

Dear Derek:

This show is so fucking stupid if they think I'm going to write you a note to tell you I'm glad we shared that week from hell.  I hated every minute of it.  I hated the smell of you smoking weed on the balcony every day but since I'm under a gag order I can't mention it.  Your whiney voice is like nails on a chalkboard.  I hate you.

I hope this letter helps give you closure you fucking loser.

P. S.  I'm having drinks with the surfing instructor after I mail this.

[Neurochick]

6 hours ago, Jellybeans said:

Men tend to say what they mean.  He said he was attracted to her in the beginning and over time due to her inability to communicate (i.e., walking out of the room) he found her less attractive over time.  She seems to be figuring this out.

 

I agree with this.  Nick was attracted to her in the beginning, then she started to exhaust him and grew less attractive in his eyes.  

I keep thinking of their conversation when Sonia said the relationship took work, while Nick felt there shouldn't be work.  But, I got the sense that when Sonia met with the dog trainer, she had a motive in doing it, she wanted to show Nick, "see, I'm willing to make this work."  On the other hand, when Lily surprised Tom with his brother and a party, I didn't get the feeling that Lily was doing it because she wanted to show Tom how much she was making the relationship work.  I felt that she did it, because she wanted to.  

Also, I don't think Sonia had a clue what it meant, to tell Nick to "open up."  When Nick asked her, what did she want him to open up about, she had no idea.  Perhaps that is because that's what the producers told her to say. 

[kira28]

I think Tom and lily have a shot at making it work.. I think she needs to keep her sister away from him though.  I know she was joking with Tom but it was annoying and too much.  I don't really like Tom because of what he did to lily's dog and found it to be hilarious.. He's still very immature.  I did think lily's party idea was very sweet. 

Nick is a total little bitch.  I would totally believe he's not attracted to Sonia because she is not a man lol.  Most men.. Not all,  would have sex with someone even if they weren't totally attracted to her and unless something gross happens they consider that any sex is good sex.  I mean Nick has locker room sex or bathroom sex so his standards aren't very high.. So I don't see how he could be so turned off if he and Sonia had sex.  

Maybe he just wanted to promote his businesses and is pissed that he has to keep up the charade that he might actually want a relationship. 

Derek is full of shit.  Pretending he's so heartbroken over his failed marriage. He looked like he was high when he was talking to his mom.  

[Paddywagon]

What I find strange about Heather/Derek is she said Derek smoked every day.  Derek said he quit after she complained about it. I have no idea who to believe.

Edited September 22, 2016 by Paddywagon

[Blissfool]

44 minutes ago, Verojama said:

Again i dont understand where everyone is getting that derek is a pothead... I like him i think maybe he made some comments because heather had made a bunch as well plus leaving him behind all the time .. I think he did do a good job and she cowardly left this relationship not wven for the during of 6weeks.. I like derek's dog and mom too

I believe the rumors that it's pot because the cameras never showed him smoking. Surely, if it was cigarettes, we would have gotten shots of him smoking on the balcony  (or some far off place) followed by shots of Heather rolling her eyes thinking "there he goes again..."

[LazyToaster]

Ugh, this episode was the worst. 

I simply cannot take Dr. Pepper serious.  That name - I mean, really?  I think the letter writing assignment was only an attempt to keep Heather and Derek on the show and fill time. 

Speaking of filling time - this is the absolute worst show for repeating itself continually. 

Heather and Derek - please, for the love of God, just move on - Heather was right - it would never work. 

Tom and Lily - I have a glimmer of hope for them and think they are cute together; but, feel cautious about it because I think she's insecure and he's immature.  We'll see. 

Nick and Sonia - I'm so over Nick, what a jerk he turned out to be.  Even though she could be annoying - at least Sonia was trying.  Nothing she did got her any approval from him at all.  The very big thing of her trying hard to adjust to the dogs?  Nah, he didn't care.   He was purposely cruel to her - on camera - for the world to see - and it was totally wrong.  Message for Nick - I zero care if you are straight, gay, or bi - but, you're a jerk and your personality stinks big time.  I don't think you are shy.  I think you are a self-absorbed ass.  Message for Sonia - run girl run.  Stop talking in question form all the time (it's silly) .  Work on your confidence and go meet a guy that appreciates you. 

[LillyLee]

Does anyone think that the producers are setting us up for Heathers and Derek to get back together or an I the only one??

[LazyToaster]

LillyLee - I agree - but, I think it is probably just another cliffhanger & keep 'em coming back thing. 

[cardigirl]

2 minutes ago, LillyLee said:

Does anyone think that the producers are setting us up for Heathers and Derek to get back together or an I the only one??

Well, past experience with this show makes me pretty sure that they aren't doing that. But I would really love it if something like that happened, cause it would be something DIFFERENT! 

[Vinyasa]

Quote

Does anyone think that the producers are setting us up for Heathers and Derek to get back together or an I the only one??

I'm not falling for it.

They left us hanging about the "divorce decision" so I'm no longer paying attention to Heather and Derek. They are wasting time on my TV.

There is better snarking on the other couples!

[kira28]

14 minutes ago, Paddywagon said:

What I find strange about Heather/Derek is she said Derek smoked every day.  Derek said he quit after she complained about it. I have no idea who to believe.

How I understood it and I could be wrong.. They went on their honeymoon he asked if she minded if he lit up and she said no probably because she was thinking it was a one time or occasional thing since he was on vacation but he ended up using as soon as he got up in the morning and every day until Heather told him it bothered her.  Then supposedly he quit but he had already blown her first impression of him and he acted like a grumpy petulant child because he stopped using.  He may have stopped but as others pointed out usually one is on his or her best behavior when they meet someone new and especially if they are on a television show they want to appear in a favorable light.  So Heather was probably totally turned off that this was Derricks idea of being on his best behavior.  

[gonecrackers]

1 hour ago, Blissfool said:

I believe the rumors that it's pot because the cameras never showed him smoking. Surely, if it was cigarettes, we would have gotten shots of him smoking on the balcony  (or some far off place) followed by shots of Heather rolling her eyes thinking "there he goes again..."

Didn't they show Doug with a cigarette? And they said the word, 'cigarette', not just 'smoking'?  That's not been the case with Derek; I never heard the word cigarette - just smoking.

[Jade Foxx]

I wonder if Derek whines while speaking Farsi, the big baby. ?

[Stillhoping]

I really like Lilly and Tom as a couple. I think they are very natural and the family get togethers seem very real. Lilly pulled off a great B day and Tom was genuinely appreciative.

Yeah the producers are crafting more drama but so far each time these two pull through. I hope this is yet anithermuch ado about nothing. Even the littledisagreements they have had have been respectful...they dont seem to hit the low blows.
 

Derek and Nick and Heather have all said things that will be hard to forgive and forget.

[RocketGirl]

6 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

This episode had me so tired of hearing 'open up' & 'communicate'. I don't know if even the 'experts' know what that means or how to apply it properly to the couples. There was no guidance for two people thrown together who can't communicate - what is that??

Where is Logan with her fishbowl full of touchy questions when you need her?

[spunky]

On 9/20/2016 at 10:45 PM, potatochips said:

I doubt Sonia and Nick had sex but either way, she was smart to walk out the door. She was trying very hard to make it work. He was just being mean and hurtful. A real jerk. I hope she has the sense to stay far away from him. Aside from that, I can't stand watching him with those licking, spastic dogs.

Nick came across as a classic abuser. He had a temper tantrum most likely expecting Sonia to cry and beg for his forgiveness. He is a complete jerk. Sonia and I are in the same field of work, but she has way more patience than me. I understand her shutting down when he makes a statement because he's always rude. I believe Sonia and Derek might have been a better match than the two month old she was matched with.