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Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!


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It's not like the Duggars are alone in referring to the sex of a child as its gender. I've never heard of them being called "sex reveal parties"...not to agree with that sort of squeamishness, but it's not strictly some weird Duggarism/Gothard thing like working out in jeans.

 

lol... I know it's not grammatically correct but somehow "gender reveal party" sounds like a whoooole different thing than a "sex reveal party."  (agreed that it's fairly universal though - I don't think it's a "fundie" thing)

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My daughter recently announced the sex of her second child in a very cute way.  We had them over for dinner, and she brought cake pops for dessert.  She had tinted the cake and when we bit into them, we saw they were pink!!!  Granddaughter #2!

 

However, it was IMMEDIATE family.  Not on the Today Show, in the sky, or in a church where nobody even knew them.

 

It was fun and sweet, and like I said, immediate family.

 

But then the Duggars can't do anything low key.  Did you know that they have 19 kids?

 

And that Michelle delivered them all? 

 

See... I think your story is really cute and I could absolutely see that for immediate family. Congrats on your grandddaughter! THAT seems reasonable to me, and like a special moment for your family. I'd love to see Jill and Derick do something like this. Unfortunately they can probably make way more money selling the "reveal" to a magazine or TV show.

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Regarding the article about them writing out Bible passages, I like how they refer to them as Jill Duggar & Derick Dillard not Jill & Derick Dillard. Guess people wouldn't recognize them if Duggar wasn't included.

The top she is wearing in the picture is very clingy & form fitting, even with the prerequisite shirt underneath. Modest my ass.

Maybe at the beginning of labor she will want to read the encouraging bible verses. I can't imagine reading or even listening to verses once things get rolling. I'll take an epidural over bible verses for encouragement & yes I am a Christian.

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My son and DIL found out the sex of their baby this week. They invited me, her mom, and my mom to join them. The room had carpeted risers (think stadium bleachers on a small scale) that could hold dozens and a film crew if they wanted. It was such a special moment to see the baby on the big screen together and comment on what features we could see. They should do something like that, have Cathy and her husband and MEchelle and Boob, and film it for the whole world if that's what they want. Insert talking head of MEchelle talking about how she's been pregnant 20 more times than Jill. But keep the actual moment as intimate as you can make it on a TV show. My opinion.

BTW, it's a boy. :)

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Regarding the article about them writing out Bible passages, I like how they refer to them as Jill Duggar & Derick Dillard not Jill & Derick Dillard. Guess people wouldn't recognize them if Duggar wasn't included.

The top she is wearing in the picture is very clingy & form fitting, even with the prerequisite shirt underneath. Modest my ass.

Maybe at the beginning of labor she will want to read the encouraging bible verses. I can't imagine reading or even listening to verses once things get rolling. I'll take an epidural over bible verses for encouragement & yes I am a Christian.

 

Well she's gotta be able to show her belly somehow. Maybe the shirt's modest even if it's super tight, as long as it's showing a baby?

 

Interesting point that they show her name separately, especially since she is constantly talking about being engaged to DerickDillard.

 

I even like both of them, but wow, it's getting hard to continue liking them these days.

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Derek may be infatuated now, but the first time he tries to discuss anything with Jill - current events, pop culture, anything other than the Bible or pregnancy - he is going to be so bored. And sad. She has no friends or hobbies or education thanks to Gothardism.

I also wonder if someday she will get mad at Derrick for trying to seduce and defraud women with his immodest dress.

I think he will put up for all of the nonsense now while he's new to sex. But I think he'll put his foot down and ditch the Duggars'/Gothard's ideas once reality sets in.

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Does anyone know if there would be any restrictions to having sex during pregnancy in the gothard religion? If I were having sex for the first time I wouldn't want anything to get in the way.

I just noticed that his last name is got hard. Hmm.

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Derek may be infatuated now, but the first time he tries to discuss anything with Jill - current events, pop culture, anything other than the Bible or pregnancy - he is going to be so bored. And sad. She has no friends or hobbies or education thanks to Gothardism.

 

I knew a guy when I was in college who would tell anyone who would listen that he wanted an "old fashioned" wife. He eventually found his dream girl in an Asian mail-order bride. When we met them at gatherings (fortunately only once a year reunions), we would try to engage her in conversation, and ask her about herself, but she never had anything to say and would look to him for guidance.

 

Eventually, he divorced her. He said she was "boring," and he was angry about having to pay spousal support and wanted her to "get a job." He specifically chose her because she had nothing to say, and would never offer an opinion of her own, and had no skills or desire to work outside the home. The whole thing made me really angry. He had never once thought about that girl -- what it would be like to never, ever be able to express your own opinions or interests -- and how that would play out in real life. I broke off all contact with him after hat.

 

My point here is that I hope this doesn't happen to Jill and Derick. I hope that he encourages her to begin to take baby steps out into the world, and to develop her own interests. Not just for her sake, but also for his, and for their child.

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I knew a guy when I was in college who would tell anyone who would listen that he wanted an "old fashioned" wife. He eventually found his dream girl in an Asian mail-order bride. When we met them at gatherings (fortunately only once a year reunions), we would try to engage her in conversation, and ask her about herself, but she never had anything to say and would look to him for guidance.

 

I know a guy who dated (and broke up with) a Japanese girl for those very same reasons. He was all excited about the prospect of a woman catering to his every need and then consequently turned off by her doormat tendencies. I guess the grass isn't always greener.

 

I don't see Derick as the type of guy to hold Jill back, I see Jill holding her own self back because she's been bred to play the role of dutiful Stepford wife since she was a child.

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My point here is that I hope this doesn't happen to Jill and Derick. I hope that he encourages her to begin to take baby steps out into the world, and to develop her own interests. Not just for her sake, but also for his, and for their child.

 

I agree with you, and hope he does too. However, must say it really bothers me to think that is somehow her husband's role. It should have been her parents' job.

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Derick had to know what he was getting when he went after Jill. She's been on TV for years. He knew she is uneducated and not "worldly" etc etc. it would be so unfair to hold it against her when the new wears off. I really hope that through him she will branch out and want to do more and be more. I guess time will tell.

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Derick had to know what he was getting when he went after Jill. She's been on TV for years. He knew she is uneducated and not "worldly" etc etc. it would be so unfair to hold it against her when the new wears off. I really hope that through him she will branch out and want to do more and be more. I guess time will tell.

 

True... he had to know what he was getting into. Hopefully it's what he wants/wanted.

 

I always liked Jill and can't believe how gross she's become since she got "courted"/engaged - selfish, greedy, all about the fame (or at least that's how it seems to me). I keep hoping it's just temporary.

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Does anyone know if there would be any restrictions to having sex during pregnancy in the gothard religion? If I were having sex for the first time I wouldn't want anything to get in the way.

I just noticed that his last name is got hard. Hmm.

Michelle, JB and the Smuggars have all been to Bradley pre-labor/coaching classes and they have joked (JB mainly) about cervical softening with means to have sex to make the cervix more pliable or soft so the baby can exit more easily. So the answer is yes to sex during pregnancy.
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Methinks all this writing will become a book? I can see Jill writing books in her future.

I can't wait until Jill is in labor for hours and Derrick tries to read her those index cards.

Does anyone know if there would be any restrictions to having sex during pregnancy in the gothard religion? If I were having sex for the first time I wouldn't want anything to get in the way.

I just noticed that his last name is got hard. Hmm.

Sex is to make babies. But if a husbands wants sex a wife must give it to him

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I knew a guy when I was in college who would tell anyone who would listen that he wanted an "old fashioned" wife. He eventually found his dream girl in an Asian mail-order bride. When we met them at gatherings (fortunately only once a year reunions), we would try to engage her in conversation, and ask her about herself, but she never had anything to say and would look to him for guidance.

Eventually, he divorced her. He said she was "boring," and he was angry about having to pay spousal support and wanted her to "get a job." He specifically chose her because she had nothing to say, and would never offer an opinion of her own, and had no skills or desire to work outside the home. The whole thing made me really angry. He had never once thought about that girl -- what it would be like to never, ever be able to express your own opinions or interests -- and how that would play out in real life. I broke off all contact with him after hat.

My point here is that I hope this doesn't happen to Jill and Derick. I hope that he encourages her to begin to take baby steps out into the world, and to develop her own interests. Not just for her sake, but also for his, and for their child.

Sorry To Say In A COUPLE of years I see Jill a nd Derick separated or divorced. Unless something changes. I can't imagine Derrick talking about worldly events and Jill disagrees with him and talks about the bible. Derrick went to real school not gothard school

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I can't wait until Jill is in labor for hours and Derrick tries to read her those index cards.

 

haha... I'm sorry, I shouldn't be laughing but I was just thinking we may very well see the world's worst ever paper cut if that happens.

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Sorry To Say In A COUPLE of years I see Jill a nd Derick separated or divorced. Unless something changes. I can't imagine Derrick talking about worldly events and Jill disagrees with him and talks about the bible. Derrick went to real school not gothard school

Yeah but Derrick seems too decent just leave his wife and children because he's bored. 

Edited by Temperance
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Just because Derrick went to a state university doesn't mean that he's a worldly person or that he won't value things that Jill has to offer.  I do think it will take a lot of adjusting, but Jill will be a tremendously patient and loving mother, and I doubt that you could find a wife who would be more loyal to him.  In many ways, I think she will be a tremendous support and helpmeet to him, but he will have to provide a vision of what that means (taking a point from the Anna and Priscilla video) and steer her gently, but firmly away from the vision that her father has set about what a family is supposed to look like.  A family that's about being part of a show, but not the show, and that can be happy in its own skin for its own sake.  That's what being the head of a family is about, and unlike a modern day marriage -- even among Christians -- that is what a deeply traditional one looks like and what Jill has been trained to expect and, I do believe, honestly wants.  

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Just because Derrick went to a state university doesn't mean that he's a worldly person or that he won't value things that Jill has to offer. I do think it will take a lot of adjusting, but Jill will be a tremendously patient and loving mother, and I doubt that you could find a wife who would be more loyal to him. In many ways, I think she will be a tremendous support and helpmeet to him, but he will have to provide a vision of what that means (taking a point from the Anna and Priscilla video) and steer her gently, but firmly away from the vision that her father has set about what a family is supposed to look like. A family that's about being part of a show, but not the show, and that can be happy in its own skin for its own sake. That's what being the head of a family is about, and unlike a modern day marriage -- even among Christians -- that is what a deeply traditional one looks like and what Jill has been trained to expect and, I do believe, honestly wants.

If that does happen, maybe Derrick can also attend marriage counseling.

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I don't think Jill is at risk of being a blanket-trainer.  If anything, she's pretty easy on the kids; we've seen them walk all over her at times when she's tried to discipline them.  The kids usually mind her, but I think it's mostly because they like her - when they feel ornery, she doesn't have much control.

 

Jessa and Jinger are the ones I see having a copy of the Pearls' book.  Neither of them likes being with kids much, and Jessa is a huge control freak.  I see them as being the "children should be seen and not head" type who just want kids to obey, regardless of their emotional state.

Edited by WTFFF
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I agree on the gender reveal parties. I'm happy for anyone who's having a baby, but that sort of thing is like bamboo shoots up the nails to me. It's probably awful to say, but I just don't get that excited over babies.

 

I'm sure Jill will do something over the top because she's the first woman on the planet to give birth and her kid is so much more special than the thousands born every day (insert eye roll).

I don't think it is awful for you not to get excited about babies but it's also not awful that Jill does. I don't understand why she is being judged so harshly for being excited to become a mother. Everybody is different.

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I think that Jill genuinely loves children (Something that J'Chelle does not) and is very excited to have one of her own. She's spent her life raising her siblings. She'll be an amazing mom.


I cannot wait to see Derrick with the cards, and Jill being like, "Bitch, I'm in labor. Don't worry about the damn cards!"

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I, too, would like to see Jill screaming in labor and Derick reading scripture to her! I'll bet she's not too interested at that point. I know we usually are pretty excited at our first child, but this girl wasn't even back from her honeymoon and she was already "expecting". She has had NO time at all to have a married day to day life. She and Derick were robbed of that important time. Having said that, I also think that she is due for quite a crash emotionally. She has had a warp speed courtship,engagement, wedding, pregnancy and impending birth of a baby all in the course of one year. After the birth excitement dies down, what then? She might be let down...as Jessa will be kicking up a storm in her bedroom and I bet from sheer activity, will be a mama too, and it won't be "just Jill" anymore..Jill has been riding on a "false high".

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I am curious about how they will raise their kids, since they seem to have been raised differently from each other. Are they having conversations about blanket training, schooling, etc. (okay, schooling is a ways off). But those are conversations that most couples have with each other before they actually have kids. They had limited opportunities to have real conversations with each other - without a chaperone - before getting married, and now they have a baby on the way within weeks of getting married. If Derrick wants to raise their kids differently than Jill was raised, does he, as the husband, get to make the rules?

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I don't know, I had my daughter right after getting married, don't feel like I "missed" anything...

When they were video chatting during courtship, JB was always listening in so Derrick could never disagree with JB and ME-CHELLE'S methods so talking about child rearing was futile.

One would hope that since they are married now, Jill and Derrick are having private convos and making their own decisions. I am hoping they go a different direction with Derrick's influence.

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I don't know, I had my daughter right after getting married, don't feel like I "missed" anything...

 

Was all the communication and contact you had with your spouse-to-be supervised to make sure you didn't cross Duggar lines?  I was a honeymoon baby and my parents were young but they had the opportunity before getting married to get to know one another, have private conversations even arguments. Duggars don't have that chance. 

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I don't think it is awful for you not to get excited about babies but it's also not awful that Jill does. I don't understand why she is being judged so harshly for being excited to become a mother. Everybody is different.

Because she's whoring out her pregnancy. Expecting gifts from strangers. Running to the media about every detail from her cravings, belly pics, and having a whole special. Give me a break

I am curious about how they will raise their kids, since they seem to have been raised differently from each other. Are they having conversations about blanket training, schooling, etc. (okay, schooling is a ways off). But those are conversations that most couples have with each other before they actually have kids. They had limited opportunities to have real conversations with each other - without a chaperone - before getting married, and now they have a baby on the way within weeks of getting married. If Derrick wants to raise their kids differently than Jill was raised, does he, as the husband, get to make the rules?

I wonder if they will use ATI books come school time. Will Jill homeschool? Or Derrick send his kids to christian or public school. I hope Cathy stays in her grandchild life

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Because she's whoring out her pregnancy. Expecting gifts from strangers. Running to the media about every detail from her cravings, belly pics, and having a whole special.

 

Could it be that the media is coming to her? Or that TLC is bringing them in and she's under contract? Could it be that complete strangers WANT to give her gifts so she's put up a registry to make it easier for them to do that?

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With all the trumpeting about God and modesty, I would think if the media were approaching Jill she would simply say that it is against her conservative religious beliefs to speak in such detail about her condition; to please give her some privacy at during this very special family time...I would think that would make a lot of sense for such a family. HOWEVER, we all know how her mother has been...modesty begins and ends with black stockings and denim skirts. Michelle speaks quite provocatively about reproduction and has part in it. I think it's all about money and if JB were truly a conservative Christian man, he would have insisted that he and his adult family members reserve the right to refuse publicity in certain areas of their life as it pertains to modesty and Godliness....but they don't!!! What does that tell you? Yes, they are attention seekers, gift hoarders, accept the kindness of others when they are on the receiving end and really don't have any boundaries.


That's just my opinion so far about this....but I still don't think it's a modest thing to be flashing one's pregnant belly around the internet and exaggerating it at that, with posture like Jill is doing. I'm pretty surprised at her carrying on like she has been doing. I don't think we can take weekly updated from her all the way to next March!

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I'm watching the rerun of when Jill went wedding dress shopping. During that luncheon at Anna's house when Jill asked Jana to be her maid of honor, they cut to Jinger and I noticed for the first time, Jinger seemed quite disappointed that Jill didn't choose her for that. I always thought that Jill and Jinger were the closest sisters and that Jana and Jill teamed up to do all the work/cooking etc. I would have thought that Jinger would have been chosen also. I felt badly for her.

No way did Anna set that proper luncheon table at her house. I'm quite sure that Anna has no idea that the dessert spoon and ford went OVER the plate and not next to ti like the other utensils. These people didn't grow up with any etiquette that I can see. Not that the Kellers are bad people, I don't think that, they are just basic folks who don't bother with any of that stuff and we all know, Michelle still uses paper plates.

Another thing, when Jill was trying on wedding dresses, after the second one, she whined "I Don't Know"!  That girl can't make a decision on her own. How can Michelle think her daughter is ready to be married? Just some more observations in watching this episode yet again.

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With all the trumpeting about God and modesty, I would think if the media were approaching Jill she would simply say that it is against her conservative religious beliefs to speak in such detail about her condition; to please give her some privacy at during this very special family time...I would think that would make a lot of sense for such a family. HOWEVER, we all know how her mother has been...modesty begins and ends with black stockings and denim skirts. Michelle speaks quite provocatively about reproduction and has part in it. I think it's all about money and if JB were truly a conservative Christian man, he would have insisted that he and his adult family members reserve the right to refuse publicity in certain areas of their life as it pertains to modesty and Godliness....but they don't!!! What does that tell you? Yes, they are attention seekers, gift hoarders, accept the kindness of others when they are on the receiving end and really don't have any boundaries.

That's just my opinion so far about this....but I still don't think it's a modest thing to be flashing one's pregnant belly around the internet and exaggerating it at that, with posture like Jill is doing. I'm pretty surprised at her carrying on like she has been doing. I don't think we can take weekly updated from her all the way to next March!

Exactly. I had to hide the US magazine cover from my young kids that had the headline blaring about their Rules for Dating & Sex". Who would have thought I'd be hiding a Duggar headline?

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Floridamom - Spot on regarding your post about Jill's pregnancy & the public.

By the way, I think we may have been twins separated at birth. Lol. On several occasions I've gotten ready to reply to a post only to see that you already have with similar thoughts.

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I'm watching the rerun of when Jill went wedding dress shopping. During that luncheon at Anna's house when Jill asked Jana to be her maid of honor, they cut to Jinger and I noticed for the first time, Jinger seemed quite disappointed that Jill didn't choose her for that. I always thought that Jill and Jinger were the closest sisters and that Jana and Jill teamed up to do all the work/cooking etc. I would have thought that Jinger would have been chosen also. I felt badly for her.

 

I wonder why she didn't just have two maids of honor.  Maybe she didn't realize that was a possibility.

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Could it be that the media is coming to her? Or that TLC is bringing them in and she's under contract? Could it be that complete strangers WANT to give her gifts so she's put up a registry to make it easier for them to do that?

She could have made both her bridal and baby registries PRIVATE. The fact that she didn't plays right into the theory that this is a public event. Jill went straight to People with the most recent baby bump pics; they were posted to coincide with the episode. She certainly uses the same PR person that her parents do for promotion; these pics always show up on Episode Day. So yeah, she is selling her pregnancy to People and probably cashing a check from TLC as well. I think that qualifies as "whoring out" both the wedding (when she got paid to hashtag various companies that contributed to her day, including Jamberry for crying out loud!) as well as the Baby Dilly pregnancy.

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I actually understand somewhat about the pregnancies. You are going to get things from fans one way or the other, so it is better to at least try and get things that you want and can use rather than dozens of stuffed animals, hand knitted booties and outfits that are all 0-3 months and are never worn. Sure, you can donate all of that, but why not just get things you really can use the first time around? So I sort of get that.

But I do not and can't think that I will ever get the idea of having the baby registry so soon into the pregnancy AND WHILE MY SISTER IS IN THE MIDST OF HER WEDDING. I know I keep harping on that, but it just seemed/seems so greedy that you couldn't let your own sister have her own wedding gifts for just two months, when there is no reason why they couldn't wait.

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RIghts to the little gherkin have been sold to the highest bidder. You notice that the most recent bump pictures didn't appear on social media until after they were made public by People mag. I was wondering why we hadn't gotten the 15 week photo right on schedule with all the others. Bingo $$$.  As far as all her notecards leading to a future book--- that would be the most boring/worst book ever since it would consist of random KJV bible verses and lyrics to Christian songs.

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Could it be that the media is coming to her? Or that TLC is bringing them in and she's under contract? Could it be that complete strangers WANT to give her gifts so she's put up a registry to make it easier for them to do that?

I can understand if a fan came across their registry and brought them something. Registries are typically for close family and friends not fans that don't know you. And I doubt the media wants to know about Jill's Skype anniversary date or what she's cooking for her husband. People still don't know who the Duggars are except for a small amount of the population who watch their show. They don't sell magazines like other celebs.

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==.that would be the most boring/worst book ever since it would consist of random KJV bible verses and lyrics to Christian songs==

 

I'm not all that knowledgeable about the various Bibles, but the slips of paper that I saw  in their photo did not appear to have KJV verses.  I was raised on KJV, which is hard to read/understand.  Those verses appeared to come from one of the translations that have appeared in the last 30 years or so.   I was happy to see them because maybe the Bible version they used points Jill to modern teachings in companion books.

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Well, Barb23, thanks for being a kindred spirit! I'm glad to see that someone else shares my opinions and observations regarding this family. Some times I think maybe I'm just being harsh on them or being sinful myself... but, no, I was brought up in a Christian religion too and even common sense- wise as a mother, this family just doesn't add up. Please, feel free to go ahead and post anyway, as I enjoy reading others' opinions regarding this very puzzling family..

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Could it be that the media is coming to her? Or that TLC is bringing them in and she's under contract? Could it be that complete strangers WANT to give her gifts so she's put up a registry to make it easier for them to do that?

I think of it this way. The Duchess of Cambridge, perhaps the most famous woman on the planet, is pregnant. She's had insane morning sickness and knows, on some level, that the media wants to know about her pregnancy and that people will want to give them gifts. But, Kate and William have chosen to keep the details of their pregnancy private and restrict information out of a protective instinct for, not just their privacy, but their unborn child's wellbeing. Compare that to Jill. Jill is not a bad person. She's naive. She was born into a family whose soul mission is to increase the number of arrows in God's quiver. This is her purpose. Her family trained her to be who she is. Knowing that makes me cut her a little slack, but saying she's "right" to put out a registry or share intimate details because of her fame is a false conclusion.

Edited by wanderwoman
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The Duchess/Jill comparison isn't equitable.  Kate has an entire staff to handle all of that for her, and yes, she will get a ton of things from people all around the world.  They also did for their wedding.  It's also not as much a British custom to use things like registries the way we do here, and for the Royal family to ask, even discreetly through a tabloid, the British people for anything, when they are already living on the largess of the people through taxes would cause a minor riot.

 

I'm not trying to say what Jill did was right -- but I'm someone who grew up in that culture and I know what it's like to get presents from people I don't know and I wasn't even a celebrity.  But they come from friends of parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins friends who went to my parents' church, churches where my father had preached, the church I'd gone to as a little girl in another state, the church where my grandfather had preached, where my uncle preached etc. -- it's the way that culture happens to work.  Add on people who think they know you through the television, and I genuinely can imagine that it's enormous.  If you aren't part of that culture, you might not understand how it functions, and why a gift registry isn't as awful as it sounds.  But that doesn't mean it should have been put in PEOPLE magazine (or wherever it was) or that it should have been announced so early in the timeline.

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