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Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!

Chris Knight

By Chris Knight
in Counting On

CM-CrispMtAir
Message added by CM-CrispMtAir,

Shout out to everyone participating in the conversation about Jill’s miscarriage/stillbirth. You’re navigating a difficult topic with respect and thoughtfulness and your contributions are kind, considerate, constructive and informative. 

Thank you. 💚💚

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MLE

MLE

That story seems like its just trying to create a story. But I have noticed Derrick unable to hide his feelings about Ben before on the show. He just seems to find Ben kinda dumb nd annoying... and who can blame him??

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Barb23

Barb23

That story seems like its just trying to create a story. But I have noticed Derrick unable to hide his feelings about Ben before on the show. He just seems to find Ben kinda dumb nd annoying... and who can blame him??

Like a dumb little brother.

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mimionthebeach

mimionthebeach

Then, they should have talked about it before the wedding. Seems passive aggressive to go along with everything and then get angry afterwards.

To be clear, this version of events was provided in the comments of the ROL article. I'm not claiming it has any basis in reality, or even tv "reality". I just thought it was whacked out enough to share. The commenter seemed pretty leghumpy and very supportive of Benessa's alleged behaviour.

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flyingdi

flyingdi

I don't actually believe the Radar Online story but Jill and Jessa are the ones I do see getting along the least in real life. They seem to have totally different personalities. Jill seem a to like to present a wide eyed "Everything is Awesome!" grin. Jessa seems to not actually give a Damn what anyone thinks.

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jb0495

jb0495

I actually think he has a very dry sense of humor with a bad delivery coupled with his (at times) odd inflection in his voice. I do think that some of the teasing from Jessa did go over his head though.

For instance, when he said to Jessa "I'm looking forward to getting married" "well, on our wedding day we'll...get married" I laughed out loud! But I can also see friends of mine with the dry humor saying toungue-in-cheek "getting married" as a joke since duh, that's what happens.

I think he also speaks slowly but in a different way than Derrick so he appears dim.

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Fuzzysox

Fuzzysox

Oh we can all now have Jill's style because I saw her mustard colored sweater at Walmart yesterday on clearance for $7!!!!!!!!! I must have one and I will also order the totally bag and hunt the thrift stores for a rocking denim skirt. All I need is to grow my hair out for like 6 years so I can have frizzie unkept hair. *gasp* I have a pixie haircut now so it will take a long while to achieve Jill's look. loll

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Barb23

Barb23

Oh we can all now have Jill's style because I saw her mustard colored sweater at Walmart yesterday on clearance for $7!!!!!!!!! I must have one and I will also order the totally bag and hunt the thrift stores for a rocking denim skirt. All I need is to grow my hair out for like 6 years so I can have frizzie unkept hair. *gasp* I have a pixie haircut now so it will take a long while to achieve Jill's look. loll

Make sure your "rocking denim skirt" is the longer floor sweeping kind. I'd hate for you to defraud anyone by showing your knees. You will be stylin in your outfit. I'm jealous already.
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BitterApple

BitterApple

I don't believe Ben is the mental midget he is being made out to be.  After all, he bagged the "hot" Duggar girl. 

I agree. I don't think he's Mensa material, but I don't think he's a complete dolt either. It's hard to get the good edit on a reality show when your wife's family treats you like a buffoon and makes you scrub filthy toilets. Not to mention the way Jessa emasculates and runs all over him.

 

 

Is Jill the prettiest of age Duggar woman? I vote for Jana.

As far as the J'Slaves go, I think she's the least attractive. However I think Joy, Hannie and Jenny are going to be the lookers in the family once they come of age. When Joy had her hair and makeup done for the wedding test-run, she looked absolutely stunning.

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Barb23

Barb23

I agree. I don't think he's Mensa material, but I don't think he's a complete dolt either. It's hard to get the good edit on a reality show when your wife's family treats you like a buffoon and makes you scrub filthy toilets. Not to mention the way Jessa emasculates and runs all over him.

And who can forget how Boob pulled him with his tie at Jill's wedding?
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Marigold

Marigold

I wonder if Derrick is sorry.

Im sure he loves Jill but that Duggar family led by Clown Jim Bob is a lot to get used to. Derrick has one brother and is used to privacy and being his own person.

He married Jill and like 20 other people or more!!!!! He must turn around and BOOM, there's another Duggar in his face.

I could never adjust to that.

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bigskygirl

bigskygirl

Derick probably does not want to rock the boat since she is pregnant. Wait until she has the kid and Jim Bob and crew show up. He is going to have to deal with an angry, jealous, bitter mother-in-law, a father-in-law who sees dollar signs and ratings in his eyes, and the rest of the obnoxious, ill-mannered in-laws showing up. His poor mother and brother will be tossed aside for the almighty Duggars.

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BitterApple

BitterApple

I wonder if Derrick is sorry.

Im sure he loves Jill but that Duggar family led by Clown Jim Bob is a lot to get used to. Derrick has one brother and is used to privacy and being his own person.

He married Jill and like 20 other people or more!!!!! He must turn around and BOOM, there's another Duggar in his face.

I could never adjust to that.

I couldn't either. I think Jill and Derick are still in that early relationship phase where you try to always say the right thing and be on your best behavior. For most of us, that stage has long since passed before we got married, but in Duggar circles you're already engaged and wed before you get to know the person you've committed to spending the rest of your life with.

 

In Jill's defense I think she's in a tough position. She knows damn well that her mother is a lazy sack of you-know-what and isn't going to give those kids any attention. She probably went through a lot of guilt leaving her buddies behind and is trying to overcompensate by having sleepovers and taking them out. The sad thing is, if Jill isn't doing it, who else would?

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NikSac

NikSac

I couldn't either. I think Jill and Derick are still in that early relationship phase where you try to always say the right thing and be on your best behavior. For most of us, that stage has long since passed before we got married, but in Duggar circles you're already engaged and wed before you get to know the person you've committed to spending the rest of your life with.

 

Exactly... usually by this point, at least in my experience, things are either pretty much either working out great or not working out at all. It's kind of the point of dating. The problem they have is that they're figuring this out after they're already committed to each other.

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Marigold

Marigold

(edited)

I think Jill has to bow down to Derrick.

But I think Derrick has to bow down to Jim Bob and the entire Duggar Way Of Life. It probably seemed very quaint and cute in the courting phase but imagine having 20 Duggars with their head up Jills hoo-ha when she gives birth. With minimal thought to how Derrick wants things. Jill is a Duggar; she wants what the Duggars want.

Plus, the Duggar TV show brings in money...Derrick has to participate. He would be financially foolish to miss that opportunity for money and it's a MINISTRY so he has to show his spiritual side and encourage the rest of us.

I just wonder if Derrick understood how much of himself he would be giving up by marrying Jill's family and Jill.

Edited by Marigold
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NausetGirl

NausetGirl

I think Jill has to bow down to Derrick.

But I think Derrick has to bow down to Jim Bob and the entire Duggar Way Of Life. It probably seemed very quaint and cute in the courting phase but imagine having 20 Duggars with their head up Jills hoo-ha when she gives birth. With minimal thought to how Derrick wants things. Jill is a Duggar; she wants what the Duggars want.

Plus, the Duggar TV show brings in money...Derrick has to participate. He would be financially foolish to miss that opportunity for money and it's a MINISTRY so he has to show his spiritual side and encourage the rest of us.

I just wonder if Derrick understood how much of himself he would be giving up by marrying Jill's family and Jill.

 

I think it's reasonable to say - of course he didn't know what he was getting into.  He may be a lot more "worldly" and street-wise than the Duggars but he's also just, what, 25 years old?  With a conservative and relatively-sheltered upbringing.  I just don't see how he could know.

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Fuzzysox

Fuzzysox

(edited)

Well I remember Derick's mom telling him just to date one girl then get married because it would save money on buying presents so I'm thinking that Derick was waiting for that one girl and Jill fit the bill.

 

I don't think he regrets anything. What just out of college kid wouldn't want to have a nice set up like a free mansion and free money just for being on tv once in a while? Me thinks Derick loves it otherwise he wouldn't have gotten married.

Edited by Fuzzysox
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BitterApple

BitterApple

He likes it now. But eventually it'll get old living with an intellectually non curious, naive, sheltered, JimBob-faced, mentally tween girl.

Well said. Do you remember the epi where Michelle and a few of the kids went to speak at the *gasp!* public elementary school and Jill could barely name one book that she'd read? She actually had to think for like thirty seconds before she blurted out Before You Meet Prince Charming. There are plenty of people who don't have college degrees yet are still well-read and educated, it's embarrassing to be that woefully ignorant. In the long run, it may turn out that Bin and Jessa are more compatible than Jilly Muffin and Derick.

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Rhondinella

Rhondinella

I still think we may be overestimating how "sophisticated" Derick is.  I mean, yes, he has a college degree.  But, again, that degree is from Oklahoma State University.  Yes, it's a fine school (I prefer it over OU for most things, in fact) and I'm not saying people don't get first-rate educations there if they want to.  But it's also OKLAHOMA, the state in which I have resided for a long time.   Believe me, it is COMPLETELY possible to achieve a degree from a state university here and not be sophisticated or liberal.  Just because you are exposed to new and different ideas and world views doesn't mean you adopt them.  Broadening horizons is certainly one purpose of education, but it doesn't mean it always sticks.  I know PLENTY of college educated people who live here in OK for whom education at a state university only CEMENTED their fundamentalist beliefs instead of changing them.

 

I don't know if that's the case with Derick or not, but it's certainly not impossible.

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Betweenyouandme

Betweenyouandme

I still think we may be overestimating how "sophisticated" Derick is. I mean, yes, he has a college degree. But, again, that degree is from Oklahoma State University. Yes, it's a fine school (I prefer it over OU for most things, in fact) and I'm not saying people don't get first-rate educations there if they want to. But it's also OKLAHOMA, the state in which I have resided for a long time. Believe me, it is COMPLETELY possible to achieve a degree from a state university here and not be sophisticated or liberal. Just because you are exposed to new and different ideas and world views doesn't mean you adopt them. Broadening horizons is certainly one purpose of education, but it doesn't mean it always sticks. I know PLENTY of college educated people who live here in OK for whom education at a state university only CEMENTED their fundamentalist beliefs instead of changing them.

I don't know if that's the case with Derick or not, but it's certainly not impossible.

Yes. Has Derick ever referred to himself as liberal? I can't think of anything he's said that would make me think he was liberal. It is a positive thing that he has been exposed to some different cultures through traveling.

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NausetGirl

NausetGirl

(edited)

He likes it now. But eventually it'll get old living with an intellectually non curious, naive, sheltered, JimBob-faced, mentally tween girl.

 

And Jill seems exactly like the type of girl who will - sooner or later - get really tired of always having to bend to his wishes, do things his way etc. I don't necessarily think Derick will be all he-man about everything; he doesn't seem like the type. At least not yet.  But Jill has clearly shown that she's far too dominant a personality to happily subjugate herself forever.  I see her turning into a "mini-Mechelle" fairly quickly.

 

Edited by NausetGirl
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Betweenyouandme

Betweenyouandme

And Jill seems exactly like the type of girl who will - sooner or later - get really tired of always having to bend to his wishes, do things his way etc. I don't necessarily think Derick will be all he-man about everything; he doesn't seem like the type. At least not yet. But Jill has clearly shown already that she's far too dominant a personality to happily subjugate herself forever. I see her turning into a "mini-Mechelle" fairly quickly.

I agree. Jill seems like a take charge personality. Though, I guess if she keeps having kids, she can use her "leadership skills" in that area. They do seem an interesting match. I personally like them together, but Derick seems hesitant to speak up. However, he does seem competent at navigating places and keeping his job. He's no dummy. Jill does get along great with Jim Bob, but he seems to have a stronger personality than Derick. Seems like Derick might need to be louder, literally.

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galax-arena

galax-arena

(edited)

I would never consider Derick liberal. But I can at least picture him sampling Ethiopian or Japanese cuisine without grimacing or being all, "Gosh golly gee, lookit these strange people with their strange foods and their strange customs!" the way the Duggars were during their traveling specials. I wouldn’t call Derick an urbane, sophisticated man of the world, but he does seem marginally less provincial (?) than the Duggars. That’s not saying much.

 

Of course, my assumptions are based on my belief that the Duggars were terrible during their trip to Japan, and it would be hard for Derick to be equally as terrible, especially when he spent two years in Nepal. My comment should be considered as less praise towards Derick and more condemnation towards the Duggars.

Edited by galax-arena
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Betweenyouandme

Betweenyouandme

I would never consider Derick liberal. But I can at least picture him sampling Ethiopian or Japanese cuisine without grimacing or being all, "Gosh golly gee, lookit these strange people with their strange foods and their strange customs!" the way the Duggars were during their traveling specials. I wouldn’t call Derick an urbane, sophisticated man of the world, but he does seem marginally less provincial (?) than the Duggars. That’s not saying much.

Of course, my assumptions are based on my belief that the Duggars were terrible during their trip to Japan, and it would be hard for Derick to be equally as terrible, especially when he spent two years in Nepal. My comment should be considered as less praise towards Derick and more condemnation towards the Duggars.

Ok, I agree. I always get confused about the way the word liberal is used...like, politically liberal, socially liberal, culturally liberal etc. I get nervous about saying it and then implying something different than what I meant. I wish we saw Derick interacting more with the locals during the Nepal visit. I mean, he seemed nice and respectful. I just wish there was more.

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WTFFF

WTFFF

It's funny to me how Jill, who loudly declared herself a follower, not a leader, and even said "I LIKE being a follower!" loudly and proudly has been quite the bossy boots with Derick from the start. 

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bigskygirl

bigskygirl

Like mother, like daughter.


Well I remember Derick's mom telling him just to date one girl then get married because it would save money on buying presents so I'm thinking that Derick was waiting for that one girl and Jill fit the bill.

 

I don't think he regrets anything. What just out of college kid wouldn't want to have a nice set up like a free mansion and free money just for being on tv once in a while? Me thinks Derick loves it otherwise he wouldn't have gotten married.

I have a hard time believing his mother said that. I mean date one girl to save money on presents. I call some heavy editing to make her look like she was happy about her son dating and marrying a Duggar girl.

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Barb23

Barb23

He likes it now. But eventually it'll get old living with an intellectually non curious, naive, sheltered, JimBob-faced, mentally tween girl.

During their courting, I'm sure most of their conversations dealt with the wedding & house but I wonder what else they talk about now besides Baby Dill. Most of the conversations in my house start with something we heard on the news, saw on TV, read in the paper, happened at work, etc. Hopefully now she takes advantage of the above (TV, newspaper)& can discuss something besides her family but I'm doubtful. Does he talk about his work & does it upset her he works with women or talks about them?
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mythoughtis

mythoughtis

 

Well I remember Derick's mom telling him just to date one girl then get married because it would save money on buying presents so I'm thinking that Derick was waiting for that one girl and Jill fit the bill

 

I think that what she said (in a TH, in probably what was a response to a question about courting), was that while her children did not 'court', she encouraged them when they were YOUNGER to do things in groups rather than date, because it was so expensive.  Think about it - Derek's Dad died when he was 18 and Dan was 14?  She became a single parent, and didn't have a lot of money to be helping them take girls to dinner, movies, etc.  If you hang out in groups, you only have to pay for yourself.   With the cost of things these days, a lot of high school and college age boys are limiting their dating because they just can't afford it.  I don't think she was philosophically opposed to them having girfriends  Although like lots of parents, she probably didn't want them to get too serious with anyone too early in life.  

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Fuzzysox

Fuzzysox

Like mother, like daughter.

I have a hard time believing his mother said that. I mean date one girl to save money on presents. I call some heavy editing to make her look like she was happy about her son dating and marrying a Duggar girl.

 I think Kathy said it then or when they got engaged. I could be wrong but she did say it.

I think that what she said (in a TH, in probably what was a response to a question about courting), was that while her children did not 'court', she encouraged them when they were YOUNGER to do things in groups rather than date, because it was so expensive.  Think about it - Derek's Dad died when he was 18 and Dan was 14?  She became a single parent, and didn't have a lot of money to be helping them take girls to dinner, movies, etc.  If you hang out in groups, you only have to pay for yourself.   With the cost of things these days, a lot of high school and college age boys are limiting their dating because they just can't afford it.  I don't think she was philosophically opposed to them having girfriends  Although like lots of parents, she probably didn't want them to get too serious with anyone too early in life.  

Ok I read this afterwards but your right. Kathy did say this.

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Betweenyouandme

Betweenyouandme

Does this describe Jill or someone else in the family better: Diva: a bitchy woman that must have her way exactly, or no way at all. often rude and belittles people, believes that everyone is beneath her and thinks that she is so much more loved than what she really is. selfish, spoiled, and overly dramatic.

A diva or hustler, that award goes to MEchelle, lover of the bling, cheerleader skirt, and stirring up controversy all for the dollar bill. Glory to MEchelle in the highest...neckline.

Jill would need more pizzazz to compete, imo.

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BitterApple

BitterApple

Does this describe Jill or someone else in the family better: Diva: a bitchy woman that must have her way exactly, or no way at all. often rude and belittles people, believes that everyone is beneath her and thinks that she is so much more loved than what she really is. selfish, spoiled, and overly dramatic.

Definitely Michelle. I think a lot of Jill's bossiness is due to the fact that she's been raising a dozen siblings for 10+ years. It's like she's been in Mom-mode since before she hit puberty. I honestly don't think she's even aware of how she talks over Derick and monopolizes their interviews.

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Barb23

Barb23

Definitely Michelle. I think a lot of Jill's bossiness is due to the fact that she's been raising a dozen siblings for 10+ years. It's like she's been in Mom-mode since before she hit puberty. I honestly don't think she's even aware of how she talks over Derick and monopolizes their interviews.

Awww .....that's so sweet. (Sorry, I'll get my things & head to the Prayer Closet....)

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GEML

GEML

We also don't know that Derick reads for pleasure or does any liberal arts type things. My sister is an accountant and married to one. It's not an easy college degree to add English and philosophy and humanities courses to, and often only the most basic requirements are done as many who take this path don't write well.

Jill playing the harp, for instance, will likely seem very sophisticated to Derick and likely many of his friends.

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NausetGirl

NausetGirl

Reading and writing are totally different things. I love to read but hate to write.

 

Very true - many people like to read but loathe having to write anything. However virtually ALL writers started out as enthusiastic readers, at least in my experience. You never meet good writers who don't like to read.

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cereality

cereality

Jill seems very clingy and immature. You know she must call Derick 100x a day while he's at work. She seems so needy and annoying as hell. She needs a hobby of some sort to keep her busy.

I've always wondered about this. He ONLY works an 8 hr day -- which I'm sure seems long to Jill -- but in reality this isn't NYC investment banking where he's gone 70 hrs a week and then also logging in from home. But he's only away 40 hrs a week, and it seems like he and Jill STILL need to get together for lunch regularly during the week. And she has said that she was emailing/texting him at work all the time before the wedding; somehow I don't think the emails simply "root beer floats or ice cream sundaes" but more along the "hey babe -- how are you? How's work? So I was thinking about desserts for the wedding . . . " And I bet she expected similar responses from him, not just "that's fine." Somehow I doubt this has totally fallen by the wayside now that the wedding is done -- now it's probably texting about pregnancy symptoms and baby planning.

 

I also wonder how she feels about him working with women. I would be shocked if there weren't at least 1-2 female junior accountants in Derick's group; it's quite possible that when all the 22 yr olds in that group run to the cafeteria to grab lunch, that includes a few women. I wonder if Jill is perplexed or jealous about that? Derick went to a secular, co-ed college and likely had female friends in his dorms, classes etc. who were not his girlfriends. But Jill has been raised to believe that even female and male siblings shouldn't spend too much time together (see Joy and Josiah) as it'll stir up God knows what -- so what could be stirred up by these heathen women choosing to work who have the cubicle next to her husband!? Though I wonder if Derick is learning the way husbands do -- i.e. nothing good can come from telling my wife that I regularly talk to my female cubicle-mate everyday, so let me not mention it and let her assume that my buddies are all guys.

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