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Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!


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Shout out to everyone participating in the conversation about Jill’s miscarriage/stillbirth. You’re navigating a difficult topic with respect and thoughtfulness and your contributions are kind, considerate, constructive and informative. 

Thank you. 💚💚

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On 1/19/2018 at 11:58 AM, Arwen Evenstar said:

When someone “gets saved” at the age of 3, I don’t think they really understand what it means.  This is exactly why the bar/bat mitzvah and confirmation happen at “an age of understanding” after attending extensive classes on what it means to be a good Jew or a good Christian.  Josh may have had a better understanding of what “accepting Jesus” means at 15 instead of 3.

The former minister at my current church wouldn't baptize kids under the age of 10 unless he had extensively talked with the kid and his/her parents.  It always would drive me CRAZY when I would see four, five, six-year-olds "getting saved" and baptized at the megachurch I used to go to.  At that age, they have no idea what they are doing.  I was 12 (or 13, oops I don't remember) and I don't know if I really understood what I was doing.  

Getting back on topic, I wonder how hard Derick & Jill will push Izzy (then Samuel) to admit they are sinners and need the grace of God.  After all, Izzy is going to be three-years-old in April.  Guess it's time to start putting that fear in him.  

Edited by Lisa418722
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5 minutes ago, Lisa418722 said:

I wonder how hard Derick & Jill will push Izzy (then Samuel) to admit they are sinners and need the grace of God.

With some sort of beating, followed up by a tear-filled confession that's filmed on an iPhone and uploaded to twitter. 

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21 hours ago, DangerousMinds said:

As a former Catholic, this makes no sense to me.

Former Catholic here as well. The whole grace by faith, not works makes me twitchy.  I was raised that it has to be both. Not necessarily building orphanages with your bare hands, but helping at soup kitchen, taking care of people, etc. 

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1 hour ago, Catfin said:

Former Catholic here as well. The whole grace by faith, not works makes me twitchy.  I was raised that it has to be both. Not necessarily building orphanages with your bare hands, but helping at soup kitchen, taking care of people, etc. 

I feel the same way. Of course, if a young child dies, obviously I believe they're going to heaven! Miscarried and aborted children, too. But if you're old enough to know right from wrong, I truly can't see a mass murderer getting a free pass. 

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56 minutes ago, Christina87 said:

I feel the same way. Of course, if a young child dies, obviously I believe they're going to heaven! Miscarried and aborted children, too. But if you're old enough to know right from wrong, I truly can't see a mass murderer getting a free pass. 

You mean Josh the Cheating Molester may not get a free pass, but he is so Godly, and has learn from his evil heathen ways.

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On 1/19/2018 at 2:50 PM, SMama said:

You are right, that’s the tragic result of inbreeding. Off to the prayer closet I go with homemade picó the gallo, tortilla chips, guac, and agua frescas. Channeling dinner.

Yummy! I'm coming with some adult beverages!! 

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On 1/18/2018 at 10:07 AM, Aja said:

t's so touching and special and sweet how Cathy uses the untimely death of  her husband and the father of her children as an opportunity to shake her Jesus pointy finger in our faces. Never a missed opportunity, eh Cathy

I had to it read 3 times before I realized her husband didn't know he was going to die. Not that he didn't know he found Jesus. I blame not wearing my glasses and the late hour. It was more interesting the first time I read it.

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On 1/18/2018 at 10:07 AM, Aja said:

It's so touching and special and sweet how Cathy uses the untimely death of  her husband and the father of her children as an opportunity to shake her Jesus pointy finger in our faces. Never a missed opportunity, eh Cathy?

But, this is the way Cathy's been brainwashed by the born-agains.  She practically can't help it.

The occurrence of any untimely death, is the catalyst for a poky "What if you, too, die tonight, heathen unchurched?  WHAT THEN?!?  Any of us could die at any minute, and then where will you be, roasting your toes in the fires of hell!"

Anything that sounds too heathen and modern to you, is to be knee-jerked out as "of Satan", or "we are truly living in the End Times...", (cue sad head-shake).    

If you have any questions about sinners in your life that rotate around their sin, like "what do I do if my boss wants to keep talking to me about their extramarital affair", you'd be advised posthaste and immediately to shut that down with cant about your being a Christian and not intending to listen to that stuff, lectures about how you should tell Boss to hie themselves to church smart quick and pray to Jesus Christ Your Lord and Savior for forgiveness, etc.  There'd be next to zero discussion or consideration about the fact that Boss might be Jewish, Muslim, or an atheist; or whether or not such an attitude might cost you your job. 

Cathy is the type of Christian whom the more I learn about her, the more I am surprised she ever managed to hold down a job in the outside world.

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19 minutes ago, queenanne said:

But, this is the way Cathy's been brainwashed by the born-agains.  She practically can't help it.

The occurrence of any untimely death, is the catalyst for a poky "What if you, too, die tonight, heathen unchurched?  WHAT THEN?!?  Any of us could die at any minute, and then where will you be, roasting your toes in the fires of hell!"

Anything that sounds too heathen and modern to you, is to be knee-jerked out as "of Satan", or "we are truly living in the End Times...", (cue sad head-shake).    

If you have any questions about sinners in your life that rotate around their sin, like "what do I do if my boss wants to keep talking to me about their extramarital affair", you'd be advised posthaste and immediately to shut that down with cant about your being a Christian and not intending to listen to that stuff, lectures about how you should tell Boss to hie themselves to church smart quick and pray to Jesus Christ Your Lord and Savior for forgiveness, etc.  There'd be next to zero discussion or consideration about the fact that Boss might be Jewish, Muslim, or an atheist; or whether or not such an attitude might cost you your job. 

Cathy is the type of Christian whom the more I learn about her, the more I am surprised she ever managed to hold down a job in the outside world.

In Cathy's loving post to her husband wouldn't it have been more fitting to refer to him as her late husband and father of her 2 sons? She has a husband, Mr. Byrum, wonder how he feels about all the fuss over number 1.  And the picture of the police uniform on the hanger, is that displayed in their home as well? Creepy. 

I wonder if she found the correct Jesus after Mr. Dillard died. He seemed like a normal fun guy, and maybe like all the Fundie women she blamed herself a little bit, then went off the rails with religion. Do we know enough about Number 2 to determine if he's cray -cray? He seems to stay way out of the picture.

It's nice that she established scholarships in Dillard's name, it would be even better If one day Izzy and Sammy would be the recipients of those scholarships. When pigs fly.

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I also wonder about how Mr. Byrum reacted to Cathy's actions last week. Let the sons post about their dad. Let Jilly Muffin post the police uniform that hung at her wedding. From what I've learned, Mr. Byrum is 10 years Cathy's senior (so about 70) and presumably retired. He has to know what she's doing. 

I guess his reaction depends on when Cathy went down the fundie rabbit hole. Since we didn't know can of her pre-cancer, we can't honestly assess how religious she was before she got sick.

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3 hours ago, bythelake said:

In Cathy's loving post to her husband wouldn't it have been more fitting to refer to him as her late husband and father of her 2 sons? She has a husband, Mr. Byrum, wonder how he feels about all the fuss over number 1.  And the picture of the police uniform on the hanger, is that displayed in their home as well? Creepy. 

I wonder if she found the correct Jesus after Mr. Dillard died. He seemed like a normal fun guy, and maybe like all the Fundie women she blamed herself a little bit, then went off the rails with religion. Do we know enough about Number 2 to determine if he's cray -cray? He seems to stay way out of the picture.

It's nice that she established scholarships in Dillard's name, it would be even better If one day Izzy and Sammy would be the recipients of those scholarships. When pigs fly.

I think we can be pretty safe in assuming that Mr. Byrum is the passive "sit around and read a newspaper in silence" type of reticent spouse.  He doesn't seem to put his foot down about anything, and doesn't want even a corner of the Duggar shitshow.  Viewers don't even seem positive he's ever appeared on camera, and if he has appeared on camera, it's pretty sure that no one has ever heard him speak a word outside of maaaaaybe some common personality-free pleasantry, all of which indicates to me a very quiet, private sort of person.

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J_J_Tucker72 @J_J_Tucker72 7h Replying to @derickmdillard

Will your boys ever get the chance to go to college? Yeah, I didn't think so.

 

  Derick Dillard @derickmdillard 6h Replying to @J_J_Tucker72

Absolutely! As long as the school color isn’t red with a wagon mascot lol jk

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Home schooling is absolutely central to their belief system. If Derick even made a peep about sending the boys to school, all Hell would break loose.

You can't completely isolate and control your children 24/7 if they're allowed to go to school. Allowing Izzy and Sam to go to public school could pollute the entire pot of cousins.

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22 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

J_J_Tucker72 @J_J_Tucker72 7h Replying to @derickmdillard

Will your boys ever get the chance to go to college? Yeah, I didn't think so.

 

  Derick Dillard @derickmdillard 6h Replying to @J_J_Tucker72

Absolutely! As long as the school color isn’t red with a wagon mascot lol jk

I wonder if the answer would be the same for girls.

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8 minutes ago, cmr2014 said:

Home schooling is absolutely central to their belief system. If Derick even made a peep about sending the boys to school, all Hell would break loose.

You can't completely isolate and control your children 24/7 if they're allowed to go to school. Allowing Izzy and Sam to go to public school could pollute the entire pot of cousins.

They don't have to go to public school. It's a few more years Derick could find a job and some sort of private school. 

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12 minutes ago, Temperance said:

They don't have to go to public school. It's a few more years Derick could find a job and some sort of private school. 

Thanks for giving me the biggest laugh of my day! 

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11 minutes ago, Temperance said:

They don't have to go to public school. It's a few more years Derick could find a job and some sort of private school. 

School of any kind would give them some access to the outside world -- that's just not an option. 

And, yes, Derick could get a job, but I doubt he will get a job. Even if he did get a job, history suggests that he won't be able to keep a job-- and that would be necessary to pay private school tuition.

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Plus, they would have to slow the roll on the kids if they wanted to send them to private school. I would be all for it, though. I would LOVE to see the conversation:

Derick: "we're sending them to Shiloh."

JB: "whaaaaaat?!"

derick: "well, you went there, didn't you? You still turned out fundie!"

It does make me wonder, though...I think it's great that they're establishing scholarships, but ARE they saving anything for the boys' possible college? To me, it's sort of sad if they're giving money away for other people to go to college when their sons won't be able to go. However, at least someone is getting an education. 

Btw, I have the flu and am at a level of boredom that is unprecedented. I turned on "counting on" on demand, and it's that episode where Austin asks JB to marry Joy. It was filmed about a year ago. Everyone looks just the same, plus or minus a baby bump, but then the camera showed Derick and I jumped! That was in his man bun, two pound phase and he looked HORRIBLE!!! It was like they had a creepy looking scarecrow sitting next to Jill! There's something drastically wrong with him. 

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28 minutes ago, Christina87 said:

Plus, they would have to slow the roll on the kids if they wanted to send them to private school. I would be all for it, though.

Maybe..., but they already are "slow" by fundie standards, and Jill is already twenty-six. I know several Catholic families of five or six kids that send their kids to private schools, and these people don't necessarily have more money than Jill and Derick. In one family, the father was out of work for many years, and they lived off money they already had.

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35 minutes ago, Temperance said:

Maybe..., but they already are "slow" by fundie standards, and Jill is already twenty-six. I know several Catholic families of five or six kids that send their kids to private schools, and these people don't necessarily have more money than Jill and Derick. In one family, the father was out of work for many years, and they lived off money they already had.

The Catholic schools in my area reduce tuition for kid 2 and 3 and the rest attend for free.

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37 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

The Catholic schools in my area reduce tuition for kid 2 and 3 and the rest attend for free.

Didn't know that. Wow. Is that for kids going to same school or other Catholic schools? Does it include kids who already graduated? I could see a place like Shiloh doing the same.

Edited by Temperance
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I assume any Christian School in the are would jump at the chance to let dullard kids attend free or very cheap if they wished to send them, for the chance to have a “celebrity “ family making a name for the school!  Imagine the jump in enrollment with all the fans trying to get closer to mega-fundie stars. 

Edited by awaken
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2 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

The Catholic schools in my area reduce tuition for kid 2 and 3 and the rest attend for free.

 In my area (N.J.) they have reduced tuition for each younger child, but it's not free. Tuition for elem. school can run 10k per year. H.S. tuition is 16k per yr. Still very pricy.

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I checked on-line and Shiloh charges $8000+ for the first child and slightly less for each child (up to 4). Even if Derick could get (and keep) a job, there's a huge difference between "having a job" and "having an extra $16,000 to send the kids to private school," and that assumes that they would stop at two.

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4 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

The Catholic schools in my area reduce tuition for kid 2 and 3 and the rest attend for free.

It's too bad they're not at all flexible on what kind of religious education their kids would have. I could see a lot of catholic schools doing this, because in many areas, their families are big, and the church would rather those big catholic families go to Christian school than regular school. If Jill and Derick were tolerant enough for this kind of thing, it would likely be the best option. Of course, we know that would NEVER happen, because of the ebil Catholics!

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3 hours ago, bythelake said:

 In my area (N.J.) they have reduced tuition for each younger child, but it's not free. Tuition for elem. school can run 10k per year. H.S. tuition is 16k per yr. Still very pricy.

The policy for one of the parochial Catholic schools in my area used to be "Come one, come all", meaning families would pay tuition for one child and the rest would be free, which made the schools accessible for larger Catholic families. Schools today do reduce tuition if families have siblings attending, but such a policy is no longer achievable because these schools are no longer staffed by nuns, providing very low labor costs. Catholic schools are now staffed mostly by laypeople, who receive benefits and higher wages than nuns, and the combination of rising costs and declining enrollment have created an epidemic of Catholic school closures in the US. The Catholic schools that survive the next ten years are going to be the ones that either get lucky or get creative.

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1 hour ago, Christina87 said:

It's too bad they're not at all flexible on what kind of religious education their kids would have. I could see a lot of catholic schools doing this, because in many areas, their families are big, and the church would rather those big catholic families go to Christian school than regular school. If Jill and Derick were tolerant enough for this kind of thing, it would likely be the best option. Of course, we know that would NEVER happen, because of the ebil Catholics!

As a graduate of 12 years of Catholic school, I also do not see this fitting the children of Jill Duggar.  Catholic schools teach science, they also give a pretty good overview of other religions without putting them down.  At least mine did years ago.  They really stress the value of a well rounded education.  Plus, at least when I was there years ago, there a lot of big old liberal hippie Catholic school teachers.  I even had a nun tell about burning her bra in the 60's.  Her favorite author was Stephen King.  She was fun!

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Parochial schools (Evangelical, not Catholic or Yeshiva) give a sibling discount.  I have a large family.  The first two were regular price and the next children were 20% off or something like that.  Tuition runs around 10k a year, per child.  No thanks. 

 

Shiloh Christian rates

This is the school, right? 

Edited by Marigold
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6 minutes ago, WhineandCheez said:

I may be slow--what is he talking about here?

The University of Oklahoma (considered a football rival of Oklahoma State University, where Derick went).  OU vs. OSU:  OU is considered to be the better school.

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Quote

 

I may be slow--what is he talking about here?

The University of Oklahoma (considered a football rival of Oklahoma State University, where Derick went).  OU vs. OSU:  OU is considered to be the better school.

 

Oh Geez--I saw the red part and I'm thinking S A T A N !! (said in The Church Lady voice)

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34 minutes ago, WhineandCheez said:

Oh Geez--I saw the red part and I'm thinking S A T A N !! (said in The Church Lady voice)

Derick just loves to speak in riddles, doesn't he?  The OU team mascots are two white ponies who lead a covered wagon.  The ponies are named Boomer and Sooner, references to the pioneers who settled Indian Territory during the 1889 Land Run and who were the original "Sooners" in what is now the state of Oklahoma. The OU football team is called The Sooners.  During games, the two ponies confront OSU's Pistol Pete. 

 

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18 hours ago, tabloidlover said:

Derick has to realize how uneducated Jill is.   It's going to be interesting to see if he allows her to attempt home schooling.   I have my doubts.

He “allowed” Jill to try for a home birth that ended with a C-section, then “allowed” her to try for a home VBAC. Derelict lives in Fantasy Duggar Land, probably thinks Jill is smarter than a college graduate.

Edited by SMama
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2 hours ago, Marigold said:

I'm a non drinker so excuse my ignorance.  Aren't they usually beer mugs? 

They look more like coffee mugs to me, and give their fondness for Starbucks they obviously have no disdain for caffeine, so the wording is really weird. Maybe he didn't want to leave out the tea or cocoa lovers, but it still smacks of something more unmentionable LOL. Reminds me of something my son wrote for homework when he was about six. Granted, I'm not a morning person, so I was probably never at my best while getting him off to school, but his take on it was "every morning my mom just sits on the couch and drinks"...

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