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Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!


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Shout out to everyone participating in the conversation about Jill’s miscarriage/stillbirth. You’re navigating a difficult topic with respect and thoughtfulness and your contributions are kind, considerate, constructive and informative. 

Thank you. 💚💚

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26 minutes ago, Loves2Dance said:

This is where I went too. I refer to my elder child as tiny in old picture and her tiny little body weighted a solid 10 lbs and she came out vaginally with no meds so it's not exactly an experience to forget. But she's 8 now and 10 lbs was tiny at the time. 

So I googled Jill's name today to see if baby had arrived and happened across this article https://www.thehollywoodgossip.com/2017/06/jill-duggar-derick-dillard-share-details-of-friends-shocking-mur/---I laughed so hard I spit my coke. Enjoy this quote: 

"Yes, Jill is the type of woman who never thought twice about living in an impoverished village throughout not one, but two pregnancies.

We're sure a little light hiking won't hurt her."

Oh dear. That made me do a spit take. They don't know Jill very well, do they? 

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10 hours ago, MyPeopleAreNordic said:

I had two babies who were between 9 & 10 lbs (one baby was 2 weeks late, one came on her own a week early). I had them both vaginally (with epidural and all the drugs and I see no shame in shouting how happy I was to have them).  

I did NOT have preeclampsia or gestational diabetes. The certified nurse midwife who saw me throughout my pregnancy and who delivered my son was surprised because she didn't figure he was going to be so big. An OB delivered my daughter and said the same. She said we'd have done a C-section if she'd thought she'd have been as big as her brother. Both times the medical practitioners and we were expecting 7-8lb babies and got 9-10lb babies. LOTS of pelvic floor PT for this mama!!! 

My husband and I are both rather tall, both of our dads are around 6'4,"  & my husband's grandfather was 6'7". My dad was an 11 lb baby when he was born in the 1940s.

I guess some families just have bigger babies....but generally I think taller/bigger people have bigger babies. I'm not sure how tall Derrick is, but I don't think any of the Duggars are particularly tall. Our kids were long rather than chunky, really, and now are the tall kids for their age. It does seem kinda strange that Derrick and Jill make such big babies, but I guess Dillard babies are huge.  

I hope Jill's labor goes well. I would have been begging for a scheduled C-section if I'd gone through what she did with Israel, but that's just me. I also am not hoping to have double-digits levels of offspring, though. And I still look back at my nearly 10lb babies and think "aww, my tiny baby!" because that's the tiniest I ever saw them. :) I call my daughter "Bitsy" sometimes because she's the youngest/smallest compared to her older brother, but she's definitely not small or bitsy compared to other babies her age....but to me she is. :)

Yep! 8'9 lb 22.5 inch first baby, 9'12 lb 23.5 inch second baby here. No GD.  Big babies expected as I'm 5'11 and DH 6'2. Pelvic floor PT, indeed. 

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2 hours ago, Loves2Dance said:

This is where I went too. I refer to my elder child as tiny in old picture and her tiny little body weighted a solid 10 lbs and she came out vaginally with no meds so it's not exactly an experience to forget. But she's 8 now and 10 lbs was tiny at the time. 

So I googled Jill's name today to see if baby had arrived and happened across this article https://www.thehollywoodgossip.com/2017/06/jill-duggar-derick-dillard-share-details-of-friends-shocking-mur/---I laughed so hard I spit my coke. Enjoy this quote: 

"Yes, Jill is the type of woman who never thought twice about living in an impoverished village throughout not one, but two pregnancies.

We're sure a little light hiking won't hurt her."

Why do we need a photo of Boob and J'Chelle leading an article about the Dillwads?  That last photo is the stuff of nightmares. 

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I started to read that article, but could not continue after this bit of bullshit

Quote

Jill Duggard and Derick Dillard have spent much of the last two years performing missionary work in Central America

Seriously?  They've spent the majority of the last two years in Arkansas with mini trips to Central America with even less "missionary work" unless you consider one sermon a week and baking banana bread to be serious missionary work. GMAFB

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49 minutes ago, tabloidlover said:

I started to read that article, but could not continue after this bit of bullshit

Seriously?  They've spent the majority of the last two years in Arkansas with mini trips to Central America with even less "missionary work" unless you consider one sermon a week and baking banana bread to be serious missionary work. GMAFB

Of course, Jill comes from a family that -- seriously -- considers going somewhere for a week and traveling around in a group on a tour bus handing out knock-off Dum Dums and painting the occasional fingernail to be missionary work. ... And I expect that the gossip rags would report that as a "mission trip," too, because the Duggars said it was. 

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(edited)
On 6/30/2017 at 8:57 AM, floridamom said:

I truly hope for Samuel's sake that all goes well and that he's healthy, born with no complications. BUT...why does Jill have to return to the US to have her baby? Look at Esther Shrader, Anna's poor sister, married to that 'real missionary' in Africa? Did she return to Florida and her parents' house to deliver any of her children while living in Africa? No, she had her children right there where she was. Why does Jill need to have them here? The Shraders are crazy, IMO, but they seem to be real missionaries completely dedicated to that region and STAY there. Esther was allowed a visit to her family around Thanksgiving, I think, but after some years away. The Dillards pale in comparison.

 

Not that I'm much of a Jill defender but...............could it be for the birth certificate?  The laws seem to vary from country to country but what I assumed was they figured that it's easier to come home and have a US recorded birth and certificate than dealing with the paperwork, dual citizenship etc that can come with a "foreign" birth.

ETA:  I agree though there are tons of missionaries who do just that - have families where they live - and they manage just fine.  But it's also possible that those families do their work through real accredited organizations that help them with documentation, paperwork, visas etc.  

Edited by sigmaforce86
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I think for all Jill's talk of wanting a home birth and being a midwife, etc., I think she's actually scared of the whole process and wants the security of her family nearby and a US hospital that she knows handy for the quite likely emergency situation. 

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I don't see Jilly using her midwifery skills AT ALL in the mission field as earlier described. I see her as a stay at home wife down there, who is mostly by herself with Izzy and once in a while has a women/social activity IN HER HOME. How is that being a missionary?

The Dillards have never come out and stated that they are down there of their own accord; freelancing it themselves. They are employees of no one but Dillard Family Ministries, something they made up themselves. I also believe they made up their own duties and most likely are an annoyance to the real, OFFICIAL and TRAINED missionaries.

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(edited)
12 minutes ago, floridamom said:

I don't see Jilly using her midwifery skills AT ALL in the mission field as earlier described. I see her as a stay at home wife down there, who is mostly by herself with Izzy and once in a while has a women/social activity IN HER HOME. How is that being a missionary?

The Dillards have never come out and stated that they are down there of their own accord; freelancing it themselves. They are employees of no one but Dillard Family Ministries, something they made up themselves. I also believe they made up their own duties and most likely are an annoyance to the real, OFFICIAL and TRAINED missionaries.

The Dillards have been coy about admitting it, but they've been going to Danger America to work for SOS Ministries (Derick is shown wearing an SOS Ministries T shirt in a recent photo posted around here somewhere), and I think have been living in one or more of SOS Ministries' houses/compounds down there. Of course, all the while, Jill and Derick have been posting on the Dillard Family Ministries website about their "work" without, AFAIK, mentioning SOS Ministries, because, DONATE! to Dillard Family Ministries.

SOS Ministries mainly, AFAIK, runs missioncation trips for which the Dillards act as chaperones and "leaders" - and Derick is probably about as trained a "missionary" as they have. 

Edited by Jeeves
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Since their goal as missionaries is to share the Gospel and lead people to salvation, I can see where they believe they are doing missionary work. They're not in DA to dig wells or build schools, they're there to preach the Word of God to the unsaved. Derrick preaches once a week in a language no one understands and makes visits to the men in the community. Jill makes banana bread/cake for Derrick to take on his visits, has a lady's Bible study, helps a fellow missionary teach the local women how to make & sell pinatas, and hosts small groups of children for snacks and playtime after church. Given they do absolutely no work, outside of the TLC stuff, when they're home they probably think they're working their tails off in DA. For Jill, it has to be doubly hard, because not only is she surrounded by people who are not Duggars, which is way outside her comfort zone, but Derrick is not home 24/7 and she's already demonstrated her inability to cope without him velcroed to her side.

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How does Jill host these get togethers when she can't speak Spanish? It's awkward to always have to have an interpreter at your side. She should have been immersing herself in Spanish since she realized she wanted to be a missionary and have mastered the language FIRST, like we have been saying here...Does she know those medical terms in Spanish when delivering all those babies she trained for? These two people are like two sheets in the wind, IMO. They both live their lives with no real planning, just spur of the moment..."God putting things suddenly on their hearts".  Poor Izzy and Samuel. They will be dragged around their whole lives with no permanent address.

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39 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

 

Now, as I said, well past the usual age of "retirement" and far into their golden years, each of them continues to work, and they truly help others. I'd bet the rent that either one of them accomplishes more in a DAY than Derick does in a WEEK and Jilly gets done in a MONTH. (I mean, these are people that the neighbors know have their back. One day the phone rang at 5 AM. A neighbor needed to get to work and her car wouldn't start. The wife rolled out of bed and drove her neighbor to work. Just one tiny example of how these people live.)

Sorry, I don't really want to drag these people too far into this discussion. I'm not an evangelical, but I know the lives these genuine missionaries have led, and continue to lead. I respect them tremendously. And it just frosts my buns when those indolent childish self-absorbed ignorant twits, the Dillards, are said to be "performing missionary work." "WORK???" Oh, please. I don't think Jilly knows what work is, and Derick abandoned full-time work as fast as he could. 

/rant

If I could like your post a million times, I would.  I find it offensive that the dullards call themselves missionaries.  Baking banana bread, posting you're going to hell posts and doing interpretive dances does not a missionary make.  Having a true servant heart and backing it up with actions, big and small, actions that make a real difference in people's lives is what makes you a servant of God.  Know how to create a blog with a big DONATE button does not make you a missionary.

I'm just repeating what we've all said.  I'm going to stop now.  These people just infuriate me so it's time to take my dog for a walk and enjoy the morning.

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Isn't it ironic the Duggar 19 grew up with having to be accountable for how long they spent in the bathroom and every other thing they did, yet now Jill's 'job' has no accountability whatsoever. 

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3 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Isn't it ironic the Duggar 19 grew up with having to be accountable for how long they spent in the bathroom and every other thing they did, yet now Jill's 'job' has no accountability whatsoever. 

Good point.

And I think if we look at the whole picture, we'll notice that that's quite the pattern in Duggardom.

Picky, ridiculous, legalistic "Accountability" out the wazoo for things that are largely nonsense.

But when it comes to doing jobs or educating your children -- or any actual serious personal stuff, such as allowing your sister-molesting son to go untreated and undealt with and your molested daughters to go uncounseled forever, while lying about it to literally everyone until you're caught out by the evil media --  accountability is nil in Duggar world. 

They believe in real accountability as much as I believe in the Kingdom of Oz. .... Wait.....They believe in it less than I believe in Oz. 

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Don't know why Jilly didn't have Sam in CA. Medical care is way cheaper and she can make the local midwives give her a VBAC. When her birth is botched she can just blame the Godless heathens instead of her stupid self.

Honestly, the midwives there are probably more trained than the woman who tried to birth Iz.

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On 6/30/2017 at 7:12 AM, ginger90 said:

In that update there are a few pictures. One is of Derick at their house. The picture is captioned,

"Some of the brothers came over for some guy time the other night"

5DC1FDDBFC68CC34499C1793C9899B23.7-img-6

Yup, SOME

 

I

Jeez what a homely bunch. Sadly Jill will have kids until she dies. I fear for her and baby's safety. 

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46 minutes ago, Lunera said:

 

Honestly, the midwives there are probably more trained than the woman who tried to birth Iz.

I'm sure that's true. Plus, they don't have some kind of ideological loathing for science, medicine, reason, good sense .... they're looking for the best outcome and will be pleased with any knowledge or assistance that helps produce it. .... The opposite from the loons that the Duggs associate with in the U.S., in other words.

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38 minutes ago, galaxychaser said:

Jeez what a homely bunch. Sadly Jill will have kids until she dies. I fear for her and baby's safety. 

It looks just as boring as the Girls Night Out.  Did they watch a Kurt Cameron Movie?  These people just don't know how to have fun.  

No child care involved because they are men & that's women's work.

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On 6/30/2017 at 7:12 AM, ginger90 said:

In that update there are a few pictures. One is of Derick at their house. The picture is captioned,

"Some of the brothers came over for some guy time the other night"

5DC1FDDBFC68CC34499C1793C9899B23.7-img-6

Yup, SOME

 

I

It's been a minute since I've watched the show. Which unfortunate looking Duggarling is in the middle with the Duggar Studios shirt on? 

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1 hour ago, Lunera said:

Don't know why Jilly didn't have Sam in CA. Medical care is way cheaper and she can make the local midwives give her a VBAC. When her birth is botched she can just blame the Godless heathens instead of her stupid self.

Honestly, the midwives there are probably more trained than the woman who tried to birth Iz.

I don't think she really wants to be there. I think she likes the idea of going to some dangerous, exotic location, swooping in to save all the heathens who are marching straight into hell, and having the Baby Jesus throw her some sort of parade. However, she got there, and it really is pretty mundane. Lots of people just minding their own business, just trying to live, who already are Christians, and she's disappointed. She also gets to watch her husband playing soccer and goofing off, while she has to watch a toddler that she resents, and can't dump him off like she could at home. So she bums money and goes as little as possible, but races back to the compound where she can lazy around and be sanctimonious.

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12 minutes ago, FakeJoshDuggar said:

It's been a minute since I've watched the show. Which unfortunate looking Duggarling is in the middle with the Duggar Studios shirt on? 

Why, that's Justin!

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25 minutes ago, FakeJoshDuggar said:

It's been a minute since I've watched the show. Which unfortunate looking Duggarling is in the middle with the Duggar Studios shirt on? 

Unfortunate looking does not narrow it down much. :)

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On 6/30/2017 at 2:02 PM, Lunera said:

This is the 1st picture I've seen of Jill holding Izzy where they're both smiling and looking happy. I think Jilly has been reading comments on here.

So now he's affectionate, Jill? Must be trying to manipulate you into giving him love.

 

On 6/30/2017 at 3:48 PM, Jynnan tonnix said:

They do look happy, but the positioning of Jill's hand seems a bit weird to me...I think that if I was getting hugs from my toddler (not that I've had a toddler in over 20 years), I'd tend to cradle him to me a bit more rather than looking as though I was about to pinch his arm. I'm sure (I hope) that it's just bad timing on the photo, but it still always amazes me that she seems to have absolutely no self-awareness or ability to reflect on how any given photo is going to come across. They seem to stage enough photo-ops as a matter of business that they should have learned to take a few shots and pick the best one.

My very first thought was she looks like she's going to pinch him. Like if she doesn't get the picture she wants, he gets a pinch. 

I'm beginning to worry if they know there's going to be a major birth defect when Samuel is born. It seems odd to me they announced the name, first a few weeks ago, and now the middle name too, so early. Since when does a Duggar do this? I hope like hell I'm wrong, but I'm seeing red flags here. 

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1 hour ago, Fostersmom said:

I'm beginning to worry if they know there's going to be a major birth defect when Samuel is born. It seems odd to me they announced the name, first a few weeks ago, and now the middle name too, so early. Since when does a Duggar do this? I hope like hell I'm wrong, but I'm seeing red flags here. 

It seems like they took a huge risk by conceiving in the Zika danger zone. Let's hope Samuelito doesn't end up microcephalic or something. That would be horrible on its own, of course, plus Jill would have her own Jubilee style story to harp on forever. 

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1 hour ago, JocelynCavanaugh said:

It seems like they took a huge risk by conceiving in the Zika danger zone. Let's hope Samuelito doesn't end up microcephalic or something. That would be horrible on its own, of course, plus Jill would have her own Jubilee style story to harp on forever. 

Didn't Derick tweet several anti-abortion rants about the time of Jill's second trimester?

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Just now, louannems said:

Didn't Derick tweet several anti-abortion rants about the time of Jill's second trimester?

Maybe so. Yikes. If he did, then either 1. they found out the baby has Zika or other birth defects; 2. they found out he's fine but figured that would be a great time to troll everyone; or 3. it was just a coincidence. 

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3 hours ago, RazzleberryPie said:

I don't think she really wants to be there. I think she likes the idea of going to some dangerous, exotic location, swooping in to save all the heathens who are marching straight into hell, and having the Baby Jesus throw her some sort of parade. However, she got there, and it really is pretty mundane. Lots of people just minding their own business, just trying to live, who already are Christians, and she's disappointed. She also gets to watch her husband playing soccer and goofing off, while she has to watch a toddler that she resents, and can't dump him off like she could at home. So she bums money and goes as little as possible, but races back to the compound where she can lazy around and be sanctimonious.

Let's not pretend that Jill ever had a good role model. Her only example of motherhood was to dump the kid on someone else at the age of six months, sooner if she got knocked up (I'm looking at you, poor Jordyn.) 

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Jordyn was properly handed off at six months. Josie was conceived right about that time - remember, she was originally due in March. I recall figuring that she was conceived around Father's Day 2009. Jordyn would have just turned six months then, depending on what day Father's Day fell on that year. Remember, that's also when Mechelle announced that her milk goes sour or something when she gets pregnant, which obviously gives her the excuse to hand them off to the next sister mom in line. In poor Jordyn's case, it was Jessa's turn. Jessa was a pretty shitty sister mom, as evidenced in Jordyn's poor care as a toddler during Josie's stay at the NICU in Little Rock. Jessa as a sister mom is also why @FakeJoshDuggar couldn't identify Justin out of a lineup. He's another one of "hers." 

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1 minute ago, Sew Sumi said:

Jordyn was properly handed off at six months. Josie was conceived right about that time - remember, she was originally due in March. I recall figuring that she was conceived around Father's Day 2009. Jordyn would have just turned six months then, depending on what day Father's Day fell on that year. Remember, that's also when Mechelle announced that her milk goes sour or something when she gets pregnant, which obviously gives her the excuse to hand them off to the next sister mom in line. In poor Jordyn's case, it was Jessa's turn. Jessa was a pretty shitty sister mom, as evidenced in Jordyn's poor care as a toddler during Josie's stay at the NICU in Little Rock. Jessa as a sister mom is also why @FakeJoshDuggar couldn't identify Justin out of a lineup. He's another one of "hers." 

@FakeJoshDuggar has been busy binge watching The Handmaid's Tale, House of Cards, and Billions. Puberty has done that little fella no favors.  The last I saw of him, he was a little talking head on my tv screen. But that was what? Two years ago?

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Damn, I'm only on Ep. 7 of House of Cards. I gotta get off the interwebs and start binge watching. As Scarlett O'Hara said, "Tomorrow's another day." LOL

Since this is Jill's thread, I will give her credit for keeping her little buddy team intact and close to each other. OTOH, I did saw Justin help Jordyn once. I think it was when Benessa dragged the "team" to Wally World to load up their bridal registry. I think he helped her pick stuff, which is probably why they had some really outrageous things on it. 

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2 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

OTOH, I did saw Justin help Jordyn once. I think it was when Benessa dragged the "team" to Wally World to load up their bridal registry. I think he helped her pick stuff, which is probably why they had some really outrageous things on it. 

I think he was also the one who made sure she was fed on occasions (oatmeal made with tap water or dry ramen or something?)

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Was that Jordyn with the dry ramen? I thought maybe Jenni, but it was probably all of them....at least until Josie showed up and licked everyone's "breakfast." 

That was really one of the most pathetic of Duggar Moments, and they've had plenty from which to choose. 

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12 hours ago, floridamom said:

How does Jill host these get togethers when she can't speak Spanish? It's awkward to always have to have an interpreter at your side. She should have been immersing herself in Spanish since she realized she wanted to be a missionary and have mastered the language FIRST, like we have been saying here...Does she know those medical terms in Spanish when delivering all those babies she trained for? 

I can see Jill struggling over trying to translate phrases like 'joyful availability' and 'purpose to...' into Spanish. 'I'll get my medical things' should be easier.

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(edited)
12 hours ago, Jeeves said:

Preach. I've been yanking my fingers away from the keyboard all week (the forum equivalent of biting my tongue), but I just gotta say something here. I'll do my best to keep it brief. But. I recently spent a few days visiting a couple who are well into their "golden years" and who, several decades ago, served for about 20 years as IMB missionaries in a foreign country. Yes, *real* IMB missionaries. Their levels of education (lifelong - each earned their masters' and doctorate degrees after returning to the US in their 40's), training, mastery of foreign languages, work ethic, true hearts for helping others, and general maturity - are LIGHT YEARS ahead of either one of the Dullards. Yes, they are older, but by their mid-20's they each had bachelor's degrees, had completed seminary studies and mastered the language of the country they were sent to, and were serving in the mission field (with their young children). No running home to the States every few months, either. 

Now, as I said, well past the usual age of "retirement" and far into their golden years, each of them continues to work, and they truly help others. I'd bet the rent that either one of them accomplishes more in a DAY than Derick does in a WEEK and Jilly gets done in a MONTH. (I mean, these are people that the neighbors know have their back. One day the phone rang at 5 AM. A neighbor needed to get to work and her car wouldn't start. The wife rolled out of bed and drove her neighbor to work. Just one tiny example of how these people live.)

Sorry, I don't really want to drag these people too far into this discussion. I'm not an evangelical, but I know the lives these genuine missionaries have led, and continue to lead. I respect them tremendously. And it just frosts my buns when those indolent childish self-absorbed ignorant twits, the Dillards, are said to be "performing missionary work." "WORK???" Oh, please. I don't think Jilly knows what work is, and Derick abandoned full-time work as fast as he could. 

/rant

I hear you!!! This reminds me of some people I know, too. They went to Africa for many years, where they established a school and church, among other things. When they left the area, they really wanted to keep helping, so they return several times a year with supplies. They also raise money to sponsor children to attend the school, buy lamps and animals for people, and do big events like Christmas dinner for the village. They work so hard on this, and keep in constant contact with people from the village. When they return, they literally bring as many suitcases as they can, stuffed with DONATED items that will actually do some good...underwear, clothes, medical supplies, etc. They also recruit people to join them to work on projects when they go. These people also own a local business here in town while they're doing all this. This family is a real missionary family! It angers me that the dullards can even be considered on the same plane. 

Edited by Christina87
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Nah, too soon. She was still pregnant at Joy's wedding and during the#babymoon two weeks ago. Even if she gave birth on their anniversary, it's still way too soon for them to be having sex.

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