Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!

[Churchhoney]

31 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

Derick was sent through Cross Church's program. Nepal doesn't allow actual "missionaries" into their country, so they have to represent themselves otherwise. Derick was there on a student visa. I believe his LinkedIn is the source material. 

A caveat. Nepal does allow some missionaries. Just not as many as church mission boards would like and not as many as there are American Christians chomping at the bit to go. 

So Derick did what a lot of these too-many missionaries do -- go on an informal basis. Linked to a mission board slightly and kind of on the downlow, but ostensibly on their own. .And definitely on their own for raising the cash. CHristian business people do this as well as people who are or who can claim to be studying and even some who don't claim to be there as anything but tourists. It's an informal -- with plausible deniability for the mission board-- program that allows the boards to get more people on the ground in countries to at least talk up Christianity and increase the number of contacts between locals and Christians, while the boards stay under the official limit for actual missionary visas. 

Edited June 19, 2017 by Churchhoney

[Christina87]

1 hour ago, GeeGolly said:

So JB knew Derick for about 1 year and 2 months. 

March 2013: Their First Conversation

"The first time Jill and I spoke was over the phone in a brief conversation we had back in March 2013," Derick recalled. Added Jill, "Derick called my dad to give him an update and pray together and I happened to walk in the room. Unlike the other times when I had just listened in, this time my dad told Derick I had just come in the room and asked him to tell me a little bit about himself. We talked briefly that evening, however in the months following I didn’t think much about him."

"However in the months following, I didn't think much about him."

A LITTLE OVER A YEAR LATER, THEY WERE MARRIED!!!

what he f***?! Most couples who got married in June 2014 were probably engaged in March 2013, or close to being engaged! Jill had a brief conversation and didn't even think about him for months! This really puts into perspective how quickly it went, and how little they really knew each other. I have a friend who is fundie that met her husband in july 2010, and married in October 2011. I thought that was fast, but they were seriously dating all that time, unchaperoned (her dad tried his best to keep it more supervised, but she was basically an independent adult at this point, and they *gasp* had sex before marriage!). Still, she grew up in a fundie lifestyle, and reminds me a lot of Jana. We all laughed about their crazy fundie relationship, and how they wanted to marry quickly to legitimize having sex, but Jill and Derick's relationship prior to marriage is in a whole different league!

[ozziemom]

Butttt guys, they prayed about it and God told them they were perfect for each other! No need to actually get to know each other or spend time alone together. Plus Jilly and Triple D had marriage counseling from Boob and Meechelle, what more could they need?

[Christina87]

JB: "Would you ever go into debt?"

D: "no, I would never go into debt."

JB: "okay, well, you're ready to get married!"

such a joke. 

[JoanArc]

4 hours ago, Mollie said:

Those pictures of Izzy being tortured by his Mama and his Papa are going to live on the Internet forever.  Someday Izzy will see them.  In fact, someone should send the link to the Arkansas Department of Human Services and have Jill and Derick investigated for child abuse.  What they did was really that bad!

Perhaps someone has. The pictures were deleted, and they mutually resent Izzy. Maybe he attracted the 'wrong' kind of attention.

[Arwen Evenstar]

Jill is so hungry for attention that she no doubt routinely attracts the wrong kind of attention.

[Lunera]

[Arwen Evenstar]

I guess Muffy got a talking to about not wearing a modesty undershirt.  So Muffy thinks a "babymoon" is going to Olive Garden?  When have they not been on vacation?

[Sew Sumi]

59 minutes ago, Lunera said:

They were just at Silver Dollar City like 3-4 weeks ago for crissakes (the week after Joy's wedding). 

Not to mention, their anniversary isn't until Wednesday. What are their plans for THAT day? It's not as if they have to, oh, WORK or anything. 

Stop screwing up my birthday, Dullards! 

eta: The pic is horrible quality, but it looks like Derelict got his braces off. Or am I hallucinating?

56 minutes ago, Arwen Evenstar said:

I guess Muffy got a talking to about not wearing a modesty undershirt.  So Muffy thinks a "babymoon" is going to Olive Garden?  When have they not been on vacation?

She's got on a black tank under her shirt. It's just not cut up to her neck like her usual fare. 

Edited June 20, 2017 by Sew Sumi

[lianau]

15 hours ago, Churchhoney said:

The Duggars are just extremely lucky that nothing has happened yet. 

Unfortunately, they think they're not lucky but blessed because they're so marvelous. 

I really hope Jilly Muffin isn't trying to have a homebirth at all costs. 

 

 

39 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

 

Not to mention, their anniversary isn't until Wednesday. What are their plans for THAT day? It's not as if they have to, oh, WORK or anything. 

 

Maybe they'd rather forget the day they got married .

[Arwen Evenstar]

Happy birthday, Sew! It's my sister's birthday today too! Hope that cancels out Muffy spoiling your day.

[cmr2014]

People have been posting about arranged marriages, and I know that they are often successful, but:

1. People who arrange marriages for their children usually come from a tradition where that is the norm. They seek out people with similar backgrounds, and often do a lot of work (or hire someone to do a lot of work) to make sure that the people are compatible.

2. When people come from a tradition of arranged marriages, they usually are not expecting the world. They expect that the person will be a good person, with similar values, who they will get to know over time. I think that all of the Duggar girls were raised to believe that their husbands would be white knights.

Like a lot of other posters, I think that I had hoped that Derick would be a good influence on Jill. What I wasn't expecting (and I should have) is that Jill isn't open to anything new. She expected Derick to completely integrate into her world (her parent are, after all, perfect), and he has been a uge disappointment.

[ginger90]

Jill's message to Jim Bob

http://www.dillardfamily.com/2017/6/happy-father-s-day

[JoanArc]

She again mentions Samuel. Guess that's the name. Not bad. 

 

Again, no thanking Jim Bob for protecting her from Josh, or treating her with dignity.

[louannems]

Why would Derick post such a grain, poor quality picture?

I'm sure they're using donor money to fund their little vacation to Silver Dollar City and the restaurant.

#babymoon. Is there a full moon soon?

[Westiepeach]

Once again, poor Izzy has no idea how blessed he is. Neither does Samuel. Who isn't even born yet.

[LilJen]

10 hours ago, cmr2014 said:

People have been posting about arranged marriages, and I know that they are often successful, but:

1. People who arrange marriages for their children usually come from a tradition where that is the norm. They seek out people with similar backgrounds, and often do a lot of work (or hire someone to do a lot of work) to make sure that the people are compatible.

2. When people come from a tradition of arranged marriages, they usually are not expecting the world. They expect that the person will be a good person, with similar values, who they will get to know over time. I think that all of the Duggar girls were raised to believe that their husbands would be white knights.

Like a lot of other posters, I think that I had hoped that Derick would be a good influence on Jill. What I wasn't expecting (and I should have) is that Jill isn't open to anything new. She expected Derick to completely integrate into her world (her parent are, after all, perfect), and he has been a uge disappointment.

That's my biggest beef with these courtships (and, indeed, most non-arranged marriages in the US, too!). Marriage is held up to be this always-wonderful thing, and if THE ONE is really THE ONE everything will just fall into place like a Disney movie. Then, when conflicts arise--because they do, because we're all human--they have no idea what to do. Outside the fundy world, many people simply divorce; in Duggarville, you just pray a lot and remain miserable, instead of talking about your needs and your hurts and your wants and trying to understand and support each other.

[Christina87]

I wonder why they love Olive Garden so much all of a sudden. I'd think they'd want to avoid it at all costs, because every location I've ever been to has a huge wall-sized rack of wine! They also ALWAYS offer a sample of wine. It seems like this place would be way too heathen for the duggars!

[Lunera]

14 minutes ago, Christina87 said:

I wonder why they love Olive Garden so much all of a sudden.

Because they have unlimited soup, breadsticks, and salads for 6.99. That's probably all they order.

[ginger90]

26 minutes ago, Lunera said:

Because they have unlimited soup, breadsticks, and salads for 6.99. That's probably all they order.

And they probably have gift cards.

I wonder what the babymoon destination is. DONATE!

https://mobile.twitter.com/derick4Him/status/877179360914157571?p=v

[lascuba]

16 hours ago, HoboClayton said:

For those being surprised about those photos not being sent to authorities.. Well? What's stopping you from doing it then? If it bothers you that much, do it yourself. But, if you think those photos are going to make them swoop down on Jill and Derrick, that's not going to happen. 

Yes, people greatly underestimate the horrors that family services deal with. Those pictures of Israel are awful but it's not anywhere near the realm of horrible that that would result in CPS getting involved.

[cdp73]

16 hours ago, Marigold said:

Jim Bob also picked a guy who had no father and there is no other man for Jim Bob to have a power struggle with. 

Ding, ding, ding...we have a winner.  JBoob also has an uncanny ability to find spineless losers.  Some (like Jeremy) may just take longer to show their spinelessness.

[JoanArc]

Quote

Neither does Samuel. Who isn't even born yet.

"If he knows whats good for him ,he'll be born the way I want!" - Jill

Quote

Yes, people greatly underestimate the horrors that family services deal with. Those pictures of Israel are awful but it's not anywhere near the realm of horrible that that would result in CPS getting involved.

Yes, they'd likely get a talking to - have to do a parenting class (which honestly they need!) - and then be followed up with. That's it. Still better than nothing for people who simultaneously want to tell everyone how to raise children without facing any actually negative criticism.

 

Quote

I wonder what the babymoon destination is.

Looks like anywhere the baby isn't. I hope Cathy has Izzy. This is a weird kind of inception - they're on a vacation from their vacation from their missioncation. I'm starting to lose track.

[Lunera]

#myhubbylovesme is beyond pathetic

I'm also guessing Jill just learned the meaning of the term babymoon and is trying to be a hip mommy. Next she'll be bragging about a push present.

Edited June 20, 2017 by Lunera

[BitterApple]

Isn't your husband loving you supposed to be a given? Does it really warrant hash tags?

[awaken]

#cinnamonrolls ?  Really?!

they both look better and healthier in this pic. 

[lascuba]

I thought "babymoon" was that time following the birth where the parents are supposed to bond with the new baby.

[Arwen Evenstar]

12 minutes ago, Lunera said:

#myhubbylovesme is beyond pathetic

I'm also guessing Jill just learned the meaning of the term babymoon and is trying to be a hip mommy. Next she'll be bragging about a push present.

I...can't...even

[WhineandCheez]

changed mind..

Edited June 22, 2017 by WhineandCheez

[Lunera]

4 minutes ago, lascuba said:

I thought "babymoon" was that time following the birth where the parents are supposed to bond with the new baby.

A babymoon is something I've been hearing about recently among younger couples. It's a vacation the parents take to relax before the baby is born.

The Roloff couples went to Hawaii for a week for their babymoon . The Dullards are such cheapskates they wouldn't take out a few more bucks from their "donation" account for a nicer anniversary/babymoon.

[Triple P]

1 hour ago, JoanArc said:

"If he knows whats good for him ,he'll be born the way I want!" - Jill

Yes, they'd likely get a talking to - have to do a parenting class (which honestly they need!) - and then be followed up with. That's it. Still better than nothing for people who simultaneously want to tell everyone how to raise children without facing any actually negative criticism.

 

Looks like anywhere the baby isn't. I hope Cathy has Izzy. This is a weird kind of inception - they're on a vacation from their vacation from their missioncation. I'm starting to lose track.

Cathy replied to Derick's tweet. She has Izzy.

Autocorrect suggested devil for Derick. Even Android disapproves.

[JoanArc]

1 hour ago, WhineandCheez said:

My Guess is Bradford Inn !DONATED! a room for the free publicity.  Its a Griftymoon!!

$94 per night. I hope it was DONATED for social media purposes. I mean, that would feed a family in CA for a month...

[TresGatos]

I've known 2 people in arranged marriages. The 1st was a woman in one of my college classes. She was from India and the way she described it was hat her parents found potential matches who seemed suitable and she fell in love with him so it seemed like matchmaking. She was an adult, educated, woman living away from her family and didn't seem like there was any pressure that she had to marry who her parents chose. I remember her saying that her parents knew her better than anyone and she trusted they had her best interests at heart so the only odd thing is the belief that she had to get married, eventually, but probably most people think that they will get married, eventually. The 2nd was a 16 year old girl who worked at the same place I did. The minute she turned 16 her parents had her drop out of (public) school and married her off to a 24-year-old man from their fundy religion. From the time I knew her (when she was 15) this marriage had been arranged and she seemed totally brainwashed about it. It's been over 20 years and she's still married with a couple  of kids, living in Texas, but it still seems awful. Right before she dropped out she was selling plants as part of a school fundraiser. I bought a white Bleeding Heart from her and always think about her when it blooms. I also worry about what happened to her little sister. Fundy loons. 

[ChocolateAddict]

I know (middle aged and older) couples in our community who have arranged marriages. As others have mentioned, both parties go in with a clear understanding that this is a relationship based on mutual benefit not an overwhelming emotional connection.  Excluding forced arranged marriages, today both people have met and spent time together, making sure that they could at least live together for the rest of their lives.  Generally, they have a clear idea of what the other person wants from their relationship, career and future family life. 

Jill and Derrick would have benefited enormously from this sort of pre-planning.  They both went in with an idealised version of the other - Jill thought that she was getting an occasional missionary who would worship the ground she walked on and would be happy to hand out cupcakes and nail polish.  Derrick thought he was getting a trained midwife who wanted to travel overseas and preach.  Jill thought that they would stay near her family and make trips overseas, Derrick thought they would be living overseas.  

I truly doubt there was a serious conversation about their future together beyond "We will never go into debt!", "We want a busload of kids!" and "We will help the unwashed, heathen masses!".  Now they have both had to compromise and neither seems happy. 

This is one of the reasons that the Duggars piss me off.  They present these wonderful courtships where almost every time the couple falls into the most special, blessed, pure love and lives happily ever after.  Ummm, no.  The girls were offered to men who passed Daddy's test and when you are "courting with the intention of marriage" along with the pressure of keeping the family reality show going, there are very few options for changing your mind.  Jill and Jessa were the First! Duggar! Girls! to enter serious relationships, the People magazine offers would have ended pretty damn quick if they failed.  Jinger was supposed to get viewers interested in an otherwise boring season of Counting On.  The pressure to prove that the Duggar way of doing things "a little bit differently" is the bestest way of being a successful Christian was riding on the girls being happily ever after.  

The girls might have said yes to Derrick/Ben/Jeremy/Austin but once it got going, there was no way out. 

[Normades]

My daughter had two friends who were cousins when she was in school.  They were Muslim.  Their parents offered to arrange marriages for them.  One took them up on it and the other did not.  It worked out well for both of them.  One has a nice husband and is very happy.  The other girl is  single and pursuing higher education.  Their parents were really kind people who valued education and respected their daughters' choices  I was really impressed with how it was handled since I had always heard arranged marriages with a negative connotation.  The married girl also went to college, just not as far as the single girl.  What a huge difference from the Duggars!!!

[floridamom]

ChocolateAddict: I'm not sure how to copy and paste your post here, but I agree completely with you. This is what happens when you have absolutely NO social experience dating and when you marry someone you don't really know.

[louannems]

This was taken the night before Jerick returned to NWA.

[ginger90]

4 minutes ago, louannems said:

This was taken the night before Jerick returned to NWA.

Strange thing to post while on a babymoon, lol. And how posed is it? Was Jill going to scoop the icecream in to the bag of cones?

[JoanArc]

Stranger that shows up for free ice cream = sweet friend.

Quote

Strange thing to post while on a babymoon, lol.

Guess she has to feel like she really does SOMETHING with her life that she can justify taking a vacation from.

[Genevrier]

3 hours ago, ginger90 said:

Strange thing to post while on a babymoon, lol. And how posed is it? Was Jill going to scoop the icecream in to the bag of cones?

...probably. 

[Sew Sumi]

1 hour ago, JoanArc said:

Stranger that shows up for free ice cream = sweet friend.

Guess she has to feel like she really does SOMETHING with her life that she can justify taking a vacation from.

eff YOU, Internetz!!!!!111

[lianau]

On 20.6.2017 at 7:26 PM, BitterApple said:

Isn't your husband loving you supposed to be a given? Does it really warrant hash tags?

Overcompensation , in the same way TFDW tags everything with #family .

Edited June 21, 2017 by lianau
Who is TFDT ?

[bigskygirl]

If I was one of her "friends", I would be celebrating the fact she is not there to shove her Godly beliefs down my heathen throat.

[Churchhoney]

19 hours ago, Lunera said:

A babymoon is something I've been hearing about recently among younger couples. It's a vacation the parents take to relax before the baby is born.

The Roloff couples went to Hawaii for a week for their babymoon . The Dullards are such cheapskates they wouldn't take out a few more bucks from their "donation" account for a nicer anniversary/babymoon.

If they did, though, we'd bash them hard for using the money in that way. 

[Churchhoney]

13 hours ago, floridamom said:

ChocolateAddict: I'm not sure how to copy and paste your post here, but I agree completely with you. This is what happens when you have absolutely NO social experience dating and when you marry someone you don't really know.

Absolutely. Plus -- as ChocolateAddict also mentioned -- when you get married for reasons unrelated to your thoughts and feelings about your partners and hers/his for you. And in this case, the Duggar girls have all married at least in part for reasons that had nothing to do with them but were completely tied up with their father's desire to make the family living by having a long-running tv show. 

If a marriage you enter for that kind of off-the-wall reason works out well, it's only because you are very very very very lucky, I think. 

[tabloidlover]

I'm still not understanding what they needed a vacation getaway from.   They don't do anything....  The whole babymoon idea is to relax one last time before the baby arrives since you won't be sleeping or relaxing much once it's born.   This premise doesn't apply to them because they have built in servants helpers.  Their life will not be any harder once Samuel is born.  They are just more ridiculous every day. 

Preaching once a week in DA for a couple of months, then come home and hang around your free house all day for a few months.  Lather, rinse and repeat.  DONATE!!!!

[Churchhoney]

21 hours ago, Christina87 said:

I wonder why they love Olive Garden so much all of a sudden. I'd think they'd want to avoid it at all costs, because every location I've ever been to has a huge wall-sized rack of wine! They also ALWAYS offer a sample of wine. It seems like this place would be way too heathen for the duggars!

They offer a sample of wine? Could it be that that's only in some areas? I've only been to Olive Garden a couple of times, but in a pretty conservative area, and although wine was visible when you walked in, nobody ever mentioned wine to us. Maybe they don't mention it proactively in places where they know a lot of the locals object? If so, Arkansas would also be such an area. 

9 hours ago, JoanArc said:

Stranger that shows up for free ice cream = sweet friend.

 

She's been told all her life that passing strangers are "sweet friends," though. Bank on it. That's not only her psychologically warped parents' way, it's Gothard's way. Both by natural family and adopted cult, the Duggarlings have been programmed to have absolutely no idea what actual friends are like or what you do with them. And Jill is not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree. She's not lying. She's convinced that's a sweet friend. I guarantee it. 

Edited June 21, 2017 by Churchhoney

[Fuzzysox]

I'm not a doctor nor do I play one on tv but I'm thinking Derick has Bells Palsy. My uncle had it and it makes a lot of sense to me given his face drooping.

https://www.ninds.nih.gov/Disorders/Patient-Caregiver-Education/Fact-Sheets/Bells-Palsy-Fact-Sheet

[JoanArc]

Quote

She's been told all her life that passing strangers are "sweet friends," though. Bank on it. That's not only her psychologically warped parents' way, it's Gothard's way. Both by natural family and adopted cult, the Duggarlings have been programmed to have absolutely no idea what actual friends are like or what you do with them. And Jill is not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree. She's not lying. She's convinced that's a sweet friend. I guarantee it. 

No question. Jill has no idea what a friend is or should be.

[sheshark]

On 6/20/2017 at 7:30 AM, ginger90 said:

Jill's message to Jim Bob

http://www.dillardfamily.com/2017/6/happy-father-s-day

Daddy?  At her wedding she called him Pops.  Guess she doesn't know what he is (for sure).