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Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!


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Shout out to everyone participating in the conversation about Jill’s miscarriage/stillbirth. You’re navigating a difficult topic with respect and thoughtfulness and your contributions are kind, considerate, constructive and informative. 

Thank you. 💚💚

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Well Iz is three weeks old and I for one think it's time for a new poll.  When will Jill announce her next pregnancy?  

 

Not until after she knows she can get a People cover. So maybe we'll have a poll after little Princess Catherine is no longer news. No point in doing it sooner.

 

Really, this family is on the same continuum as the Kardashians when it comes to promoting themselves. 

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Somehow I think she's going to BE pregnant in about 14-15 days, but I agree that the announcing will have to wait until after the royal baby's off the covers. I wonder how they're going to work it in with Ben and Jessa revealing their baby's "gender reveal" as well. No wonder Mechelle's scheduling job is so complicated... <eyeroll>

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Jill mentioned recently that she wants Izzy to have the traits of her siblings except perhaps of the youngest ones who have not been fully "trained" yet.

 

I think that Derick is in for a world of surprise when Jill starts whacking his infant son with a ruler. I can't even imagine what a family gathering at the Duggars will be like next summer when Izzy and his young cousins are sitting on a blanket while their respective mothers take turns with their grandmother whacking them with a bit of PVC pipe.

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He may have gone back to work for the salary.  Unless the rules are different in the corporate office, Wal-Mart doesn't offer PAID paternity leave, so he'd have to use his PTO.  And, honestly, there's not much for him to do at home.  By three weeks, Jill should be feeling more like herself, and it's not hard to take care of one newborn who sleeps alot, especially if she's gotten more comfortable with nursing.  Most of my restrictions were for the first two weeks.  Once I was past that, it wasn't bad being home with a newborn.  I actually enjoyed being home alone with a baby.

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I don't think there is anything weird with him being back at work. My husband went back on day 3 and frankly I think he would have gone back the next day except the baby was born on a Friday.

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She's nursing, right? It's pretty unusual for a nursing mom who is not supplementing to start cycling again so soon.

But they are the special Duggars they do everything just a little differently so she will be knocked up first time back to having baby making sex.

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Jill mentioned recently that she wants Izzy to have the traits of her siblings except perhaps of the youngest ones who have not been fully "trained" yet.

 

I think that Derick is in for a world of surprise when Jill starts whacking his infant son with a ruler. I can't even imagine what a family gathering at the Duggars will be like next summer when Izzy and his young cousins are sitting on a blanket while their respective mothers take turns with their grandmother whacking them with a bit of PVC pipe.

 

I feel badly stating it, but after Derick's actions over the last year, I just don't think he'll be the least bit surprised. I hope he will be, but I doubt it.

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I hadn't even thought about the unpaid aspect. I'm in California and fathers get 6 weeks of paid or partially paid paternity leave, so I forget it's not available everywhere. I can see where he may well have gone back specifically for the money, and/or he may know he'll need other FMLA time either to be with Jill, Iz, or his mom.

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Oh fuzzysox: you should visit below the mason-Dixon sometime. Y'all is some smooshed down buttered up version of "you all". I've actually looked up the origin before (because I was pretty sure it came from the KJV Bible). I never quite noticed the Duggar kids having the pronounced drawl of the south but maybe they do. Sadly, when I hear someone "doing" a southern accent on TV, I'm a little offended. We don't really sound like that!!!! (Oh yes, we do!!)

. She could have died yo'all. (sp? I suck at being county signed City Girl from Chicago!)

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(edited)

So is that a dig at Derrick?  Did he disappoint Little Miss Perfect by deciding to go back to work instead of staying home to serve Jill?  I can't see her getting any guidance from him, as she appears to run everything by her father first.

 

Maybe Derrick should go back into the Prayer Closet (you know she has one) and pray some more until God tells him to do what Jill wants him to do.

I didn’t get a dig from Jill’s post at all. She was THANKING Derick for his love and support and setting him as a example for other men on how to treat his wife. Here’s the link to her post so you can judge for yourself  https://instagram.com/p/2Gu6IiLs8o/ (side note - holy moly, Izzy is LONG!)

 

I also don’t see anything wrong about Derick going back to work. It’s funny because before Jill gave birth, people were complaining about how much time-off Derick seemed to have.  And now that baby Israel is here, people are complaining that he isn’t taking enough time-off from work. Ah, damned if he does, damned if he doesn’t! In that same People article, Jill said she's had family coming over to help at any time while Derick's at work. So it's not like she doesn't have a huge support system available to help take care of herself and her baby. Not many new moms can say they're as lucky, IMO.

Edited by Mariva
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She's nursing, right? It's pretty unusual for a nursing mom who is not supplementing to start cycling again so soon.  

Mechelle had a string of kids 13 months apart. Getting pregnant in this first month after the 40 days would put her right there. Kelly Bates did this as well, with even more kids in a row.

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She's nursing, right? It's pretty unusual for a nursing mom who is not supplementing to start cycling again so soon.  

I have a feeling she would start supplementing so she can catch a new blessing sooner.  Heaven forbid Jessa has twins and Jill is one down.  

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Mechelle had a string of kids 13 months apart. Getting pregnant in this first month after the 40 days would put her right there. Kelly Bates did this as well, with even more kids in a row.

 

 

I have a feeling she would start supplementing so she can catch a new blessing sooner.  Heaven forbid Jessa has twins and Jill is one down.  

 

Obviously it's not impossible to get pregnant that quickly but it's really unlikely if you are nursing full time. So you are probably right - supplementation in order to return the fertility. That just makes me ill. Enjoy the baby you have. You get to be home with him/her. Nurse the baby. You will be fertile again eventually. 

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Couldn't agree more. Any woman would look good ten hours after birth if they had a glam squad arrive at the hospital to do their hair, makeup and dress them in a perfectly tailored designer outfit before they're discharged It's Kate's job to be camera ready at all times. She's not going to walk out dressed in sweats, although maybe she wishes she could! Jill has never been a slave to beauty or fashion and that's okay, different strokes for different folks.

Actually, I'm fairly confident that no glamour squad on Earth could have made me look like that ten hours after delivery. Or possibly ever. I believe comparisons between Catherine and Jill were intended ironically, or facetiously.

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(edited)

I only nursed my son and guess what he was 3 months old when I found out that I was pregnant again.

Sure - it isn't something you want to use as birth control because this does happen. But for Michele to have it happen over and over and if Jill gets pregnant right away again while supposedly nursing, I'd have to say the odds are that they did it on purpose since the odds are that you don't cycle again after just a few weeks if you are exclusively nursing. 

Edited by 3girlsforus
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The 'average' first world mother who nurses exclusively doesn't ovulate for about 4 months, but there are wide variations.  Some will ovulate weeks after delivery, others won't ovulate for more than a year.  Since we know Michelle always stopped breastfeeding at 6 months, I'd presume it was so she would resume ovulation to get another blessing in the pipeline.  Women tend to take after their moms in these things, so I expect Jill to wean her baby by 6 months so she can conceive again.

 

The general recommendation of pediatricians is that it is optimal for women to breastfeed their babies for the first year.  Since Michelle seemed to have an adequate milk supply, was a stay-at-home mom who put all household responsibilities off on her daughters and certainly had no problem breastfeeding the kid anywhere and everywhere under her tent; there really doesn't seem to be any other logical reason for her not to have breastfed her kids for the first year.

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Except that some women don't want to breastfeed. I did with one child but not the other. I take women's bodily autonomy very seriously, and that goes for breastfeeding too.

Anna fits the "average" breastfeeding statistic pretty well. It's clear that Michelle and Kelly Bates are extremely good at not only getting pregnant, but also carrying to term with only a few issues between them over a 20+ year period. But it also seems pretty clear that they were likely supplementing in hopes of getting pregnant, and there has always been debate in quiverful movements as to what was the better way to go.

Jill will likely see if her body can handle it, but if she miscarries quickly, she may back off a bit, like Josh and Anna did. Or she may try and find a "reason" like her parents did with their first miscarriage and double down. Who knows?

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I also don’t see anything wrong about Derick going back to work. It’s funny because before Jill gave birth, people were complaining about how much time-off Derick seemed to have.  And now that baby Israel is here, people are complaining that he isn’t taking enough time-off from work. Ah, damned if he does, damned if he doesn’t! In that same People article, Jill said she's had family coming over to help at any time while Derick's at work. So it's not like she doesn't have a huge support system available to help take care of herself and her baby. Not many new moms can say they're as lucky, IMO.

ITA. Derick gets criticized for taking too much time off work, but then when he goes back to work, it's criticized as well. Just weird. Jill has 15+ people around her who can help out as needed.

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(edited)

I figure he took paid vacation to be off some with Jill. Just like almost all men (Who have paid vacation) do when a baby is born. To me, Derick takes off no more or less than most men in a white collar job that has a schedule that has a little bit of give in it, which accounting or payroll do.

Edited by GEML
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The little guy is 4 weeks old.  Why wouldn't dad go back to work?  Life goes on.

 

Jill has plenty of help if she needs it.  And seriously, if her little trip to Texas set her back a bit on the road to recovery she has no one to blame but herself.

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I fully-expected Derick to take the whole 90 days or whatever is allowed for FMLA and was stunned to hear he's actually going back to work now. I can't imagine that Jill is at all happy about that. Would love to why he's going back so soon. Feeling any kind of pressure from WalMart - or just his co-workers? Stressed-out and over-worked at home? Bored silly at home? Financial reasons? All of the above? I think for Derick, the bloom might be off the rose right about now.

Just throwing this one out here: One can only imagine how tired derickdillard's co-workers must be getting with the absences, the (most likely) constant phone calls in the middle of the day from tabloids, TV, their agent... It's tough to work when one is also trying to be a reality TV star.

 

And re: Jilly Muffin vs. Kate, Duchess of Cambridge: Wait until JM finds out that the adorable HRH Charlotte Elizabeth Diana Windsor-Mountbatten was delivered by two midwives. According to the article I read in one of the British papers yesterday, the three obstetricians mostly stood around while the midwives did their thing.

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(edited)

And re: Jilly Muffin vs. Kate, Duchess of Cambridge: Wait until JM finds out that the adorable HRH Charlotte Elizabeth Diana Windsor-Mountbatten was delivered by two midwives. According to the article I read in one of the British papers yesterday, the three obstetricians mostly stood around while the midwives did their thing.

I doubt that will come as any big surprise to Jill. Using midwives among the Brits is not uncommon there. The bigger difference between Kate and Jill is that Kate chose midwives who have a great deal of experience and are better educated and certified to perform hospital deliveries and likely don't conduct business in a shed.

Edited by msblossom
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Midwives are the norm in the UK for everyone. They are all qualified as nurses through the NHS so no regional variation. Most women with low risk pregnancies will only see a midwife from booking in to birth - only HRH's would even have specialist ob gyn on stand by.

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Have you seen the picture Derrick posted on Instagram- pic of Jill with Izzy at the ATI homeschool conference with the hashtag starting early! Doesn't look like school is anywhere in Izzy's future - Derrick must be fully sold on the kool aid experience

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I doubt that will come as any big surprise to Jill. Using midwives among the Brits is not uncommon there. The bigger difference between Kate and Jill is that Kate chose midwives who have a great deal of experience and are better educated and certified to perform hospital deliveries and likely don't conduct business in a shed.

 

I agree that Jill would probably know that. The UK uses primarily midwives. My midwife was trained in the UK. My guess based on the timeframe of her hospital arrival and delivery she didn't have any interventions which helps contribute to her looking so good just 10 hours later. No medications to shake off. Even on my best day I have never been as beautiful as Kate is but 10 hours after I gave birth I was up, showered, dressed and looking as good as I am able. After my birth with meds I was groggy for hours. 

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I really would like to know how much vacation time he gets . Because it took my daughter 5 years working at Walmart HQ in a higher mposition to get 3 weeks vacation.

 

Though it's obviously, and absolutely, none of my business, I wish we did know the particulars of Derick's situation too. For someone with only a bachelor's degree - and no other previous experience that we're aware of - who began an entry-level position just over a year ago, he does seem to have an extremely "fluid" work environment. As I've said previously, I'd have no problem at all being generous and flexible boss, once I knew what his competency level was, how well he worked with others and his overall value to the organization. But it takes time to learn these things. It certainly takes more than a year, IMO. My personal guess is that if Derick is getting special treatment at WalMart, it's much more likely to be due to Cathy - and not his Duggar connection.

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I would guess three weeks. As wages have remained stagnant for two decades, vacation, flex time and even a personal day or two have been incentives offered to employees instead - especially employees who often have jobs that will require them to occasionally regularly work a long day a week (if you were say, doing payroll) or in accounting, when things are crazy at the end of the fiscal year, and then again in the early part of the year for filing on April 15. Derick could qualify for any of these situations.

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(edited)

Though it's obviously, and absolutely, none of my business, I wish we did know the particulars of Derick's situation too. For someone with only a bachelor's degree - and no other previous experience that we're aware of - who began an entry-level position just over a year ago, he does seem to have an extremely "fluid" work environment. As I've said previously, I'd have no problem at all being generous and flexible boss, once I knew what his competency level was, how well he worked with others and his overall value to the organization. But it takes time to learn these things. It certainly takes more than a year, IMO. My personal guess is that if Derick is getting special treatment at WalMart, it's much more likely to be due to Cathy - and not his Duggar connection.

I guess he should be thankful he is not a part of one of the Walmarts that have closed recently (giving employees no notice) due to "plumbing problems".  lol  Not to mention what they did to the corporate employees a few years back.  No notice- just bye bye.  They really are not a nice company to work for. Therefore, I think DerrickDullard must have some special gig going on. 

Edited by truthtalk2014
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Full disclosure first: I have no children, never wanted any, and turns out I couldn't have had babies anyway. So that all worked out just fine, but, OH!, the wasted money on birth control !!!  :)

 

That being said, as a non-mother, I'm simply appalled at the pressure women are under to have the "perfect" birth, Jill included. Seems like if you labor too long you're not trying hard enough or something; if your labor is short, sweet, and uneventful then you're missing out on the "honor" of bearing the pain and earning your badge as a "real" mother. In this day and age NO ONE can have a baby without the full force of the Interwebs coming down on them to shame them for some imagined deficiency. So Jill is too big, Jessa is too small, and Anna is too... Anna ? For a family that I absolutely do not like and disagree with on so many things it's hard to keep track of them I nonetheless feel like it's time to give them a break for once. Every labor and delivery is different, every baby is different, and every new mother recovers at a different rate. Poor Kate, The Duchess of Cambridge, appearing only hours after giving birth to Princess Charlotte Elizabeth Diana, is catching some serious shit for being "too perky" and glamorous post-birth. Would the world be happier if she'd languished for days and was miserable and haggard ?

 

There are certainly LOTS of things I can call out the Duggars for - the most recent being Baby Sling Gate, which even I recognized as a screwup, but I look at Jill as a work in progress. All new moms make mistakes, so I genuinely hope she learns from them before we all have a collective heart attack. And at least it wasn't that Breast Friend/baby scaffolding contraption that Michelle misused over and over again ! I hope to never see that particular piece of freak show equipment on this show again - if it makes an appearance with Jill and it's being used as a shelf while she's standing to support Israel I'm gonna be ALL over that... ! You'd think she'd be much more in tune with baby health and safety with being a doula/midwife/whatever-she-is, but it remains to be seen. I hope for the best for baby Iz as he is a cutie and deserves a good life. Probably too much to ask that he not just become a "buddy" and then an uneducated headship doomed to further the Gothard cause, but a girl can dream, right...?

 

I truly hope that Jill and Derick use some "creative spacing" before the next little blessing is announced. Give yourselves a break and just enjoy the one you already have !!! My mother (Catholic, circa 1950s) had my older sisters just 10 months apart - Irish Twins ! - and then waited 20 years to have me, so I assume she figured out how hard it can be to pop kids out like a Gatling Gun !  Like the song says "Baby, you can do it, take the time, do it right..."

 

You absolutely do not have to be a Clown Car to be a good mother, Jill. If you're taking your cues from your own checked-out, befuddled, screeching whirlwind of a mother you may have a tough road ahead. 

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(edited)

I doubt Derick is receiving special treatment. He probably has a decent vacation package that he can supplement with personal time/sick time as needed. He might also have an arrangement with his boss that as long as the work is done (i.e. he works longer days x amount of times a week), he can travel. Maybe he has a work from home option that allows him to bring a computer on the road. Some employers are more generous with time off than others. There are many possible scenarios.

Edited by trimthatfat
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Even on my best day I have never been as beautiful as Kate is but 10 hours after I gave birth I was up, showered, dressed and looking as good as I am able. After my birth with meds I was groggy for hours. 

I'll bet you looked a lot better than you think. You had that "new mama" glow of happiness.

 

Jilly Muffin still looks exhausted. I'm sorry that nobody in her life is capable of telling her to get some quality rest while they take care of Izzy.

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I really don't see the point in comparing Jill and Kate - their circumstances couldn't be more different. I think holding any mother up to the Kate standard is unfair.

Well said. I'm sure we'd all look amazing after giving birth if we had a stylist, hairdresser, and makeup artists show up to our bedside. I really hope people don't compare themselves or other new moms to Kate or anyone else with a limitless budget. That's an impossible standard to meet. Nor can I cheer because Kate had a relatively easy delivery while Jill did not.

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Jill has always had a very "casual" look which sometimes appears as a bit sloppy. (no judgment; I'm often look a bit sloppy too)So after having a baby, I wouldn't expect her to be looking any more fashionable than she normally did. 

 

Kate always looks stunning and surprise, surprise, she looks stunning after giving birth.  

 

Hey, we all know people like Jill and Kate in real life!  The fashionista and the "sloppy ponytail" girl! 

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Though it's obviously, and absolutely, none of my business, I wish we did know the particulars of Derick's situation too. For someone with only a bachelor's degree - and no other previous experience that we're aware of - who began an entry-level position just over a year ago, he does seem to have an extremely "fluid" work environment. As I've said previously, I'd have no problem at all being generous and flexible boss, once I knew what his competency level was, how well he worked with others and his overall value to the organization. But it takes time to learn these things. It certainly takes more than a year, IMO. My personal guess is that if Derick is getting special treatment at WalMart, it's much more likely to be due to Cathy - and not his Duggar connection.

Walmart is a corporation.  They can't give out passes to certain employees without risking a lawsuit from others that can't get that special treatment.

 

Seriously, having a bachelors degree in accounting means almost nothing this day and time. Walmart has certain stipulations for sick days, personal time and vacation days.  DerrickDullard is not an executive by any means. 

 

I'm beginning to wonder if he is part time.  As much as he is drinking the kook-aid, I'm sure he will resign before long. A couple of the People covers probably makes up for his Walmart salary for a year. 

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Jill has always had a very "casual" look which sometimes appears as a bit sloppy. (no judgment; I'm often look a bit sloppy too)So after having a baby, I wouldn't expect her to be looking any more fashionable than she normally did.

Kate always looks stunning and surprise, surprise, she looks stunning after giving birth.

Hey, we all know people like Jill and Kate in real life! The fashionista and the "sloppy ponytail" girl!

It's not that Jill looks casual but moreso unkempt. As in, she looks like she hasn't bathed in awhile. She looks sweaty and her frizzy, mountain woman hairstyle does her no favors. She also doesn't wear shoes so I bet her feet are filthy. "Swamp ass" is what comes to mind.

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I know it is no competition, but Jill's smugness makes me applaud the royal birth.  That girl did something right or she is just more meant to give birth than Jilly Muffin.  

 

Wow!  She looked good when she left the hospital.  I wouldn't say so much, but Jill was just so smug and still is.  I wish People would post some advice from Kate to Jilly Muffin.  OMG!  How awesome that would be and I can only imagine the steam coming from JM's head. 

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(edited)

Walmart is a corporation.  They can't give out passes to certain employees without risking a lawsuit from others that can't get that special treatment.

 

Seriously, having a bachelors degree in accounting means almost nothing this day and time. Walmart has certain stipulations for sick days, personal time and vacation days.  DerrickDullard is not an executive by any means. 

 

I'm beginning to wonder if he is part time.  As much as he is drinking the kook-aid, I'm sure he will resign before long. A couple of the People covers probably makes up for his Walmart salary for a year. 

 

Yes, more and more it seems to make sense that Derick is part-time, although I doubt the Duggars would ever admit this. It certainly would go a long way to explain why he's been so available for nearly every Duggar/TLC occasion. I'm not sure whether vacation or FMLA time would apply in a part-time situation - I'm fairly sure it wouldn't. And I've been expecting a resignation for a while too. I hope he's full-time, and if he is, I hope he's not reckless enough to leave WalMart. But he seems to be gulping down that Kool-Aid so I won't be surprised at all if he does.

Edited by Wellfleet
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It's not that Jill looks casual but moreso unkempt. As in, she looks like she hasn't bathed in awhile. She looks sweaty and her frizzy, mountain woman hairstyle does her no favors. She also doesn't wear shoes so I bet her feet are filthy. "Swamp ass" is what comes to mind.

I have very thick hair & right now I need a cut- it's shoulder length now. It's such a PITA to wash & takes forever to blow dry. I wash it every other day.

As I was washing it I was thinking how much more of a PITA it must be to have Duggar hair. To wash & dry, then curl that long, long hair. So I wonder how many days go between washings, & maybe that's why Jills hair usually looks unkempt.

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Yes, more and more it seems to make sense that Derick is part-time, although I doubt the Duggars would ever admit this. It certainly would go a long way to explain why he's been so available for nearly every Duggar/TLC occasion. I'm not sure whether vacation or FMLA time would apply in a part-time situation - I'm fairly sure it wouldn't. And I've been expecting a resignation for a while too. I hope he's full-time, and if he is, I hope he's not reckless enough to leave WalMart. But he seems to be gulping down that Kool-Aid so I won't be surprised at all if he does.

 

I think that he's been cut an enormous amount of slack because of the Cathy's illness and the wedding, and I think that being Cathy's son probably helped, too. 

 

JB may well have offered to make him the accountant for JB's business, and he is probably getting pressure from Jill, too. With his "paycheck" from JB and the TLC money, it probably looked like a pretty cushy situation. Still, Derick has a family and a background, too. Both his parents went to work every day. People aren't usually drawn to accounting because they like piecemeal work, and chaotic working conditions. I just don't see him being comfortable with the Duggar style of wandering around the house all day and working here and there on projects.

 

My feeling on hearing that he was going back to work, was that something happened that made up his mind for him, and he has decided to go all-in at WalMart. Maybe he looked at his son and thought about his long-term responsibility to him; maybe he went down to Big Sandy and saw what the Gothard lifestyle had in store for his family; maybe his bosses said "we've given you a lot of slack, if you're going to work here, we expect you to start coming to work regularly for the next 6 months," or maybe he was planning to return to work after a few weeks all along.

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I know it is no competition, but Jill's smugness makes me applaud the royal birth.  That girl did something right or she is just more meant to give birth than Jilly Muffin.  

 

Wow!  She looked good when she left the hospital.  I wouldn't say so much, but Jill was just so smug and still is.  I wish People would post some advice from Kate to Jilly Muffin.  OMG!  How awesome that would be and I can only imagine the steam coming from JM's head.

I understand that people have choices, and that Jill totally drank the Koolaid, but I can't fault her for being smug. That's just how she was raised, with two smug, idiotic parents. She became a smug idiot. So did Josh and Jessa and JD. In fact, the only ones that aren't like that are Jana, Joyless Anna, and maybe Jinger and Josiah (IMO).

As for looking good 10 hours after birth, I'm 2 months pregnant and I already look and feel like shit, and so did Jill. My hopes for looking pretty at any time during pregnancy are very low.

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