Jessa, Ben and Their Brood: Making a (Diaper) Mountain out of a Mold House

[RazzleberryPie]

On ‎1‎/‎25‎/‎2016 at 11:53 AM, RazzleberryPie said:

What it looked like to me was 1) Bin thought Jessa was hot and started coming to the TTH for 'fellowship' (the families were familiar with each other from homeschool conferences, etc., but not besties).

2) Bin suggested courting, Jessa the control freak was scared out of her mind, but as 'the pretty one' and the bolder one, JimBob and Michelle took the opportunity for a storyline AND to get Jessa married off before she embarrassed them by dating someone without their initiation. JimBob so had to keep up with the Bates and the people wondering why no one was courting.

3) Jill's courtship and engagement went much quicker than expected, sort of came out of the blue, which should've taken Jessa off the storyline home, EXCEPT Jessa wasn't about to let Jill steal any thunder, even if she was unsure if Bin.

4) Big Papa Seewald resents not controlling the whole situation, and starts blogging about families dangling their daughters in front of (his own) son(s), and needing to marry early to be able to righteously fulfill sexual desires, etc. Basically he told JimBob to hand over the goods (Jessa) ASAP. Bin moves into the TTH to get to know Jessa better.

5) Jessa decides Bin isn't terrifying and is tolerable, plus loves being off the Sister Mom hook because she is Courting. God forbid she hold down a job or do anything besides Court. Plus she gets a lot of attention for her reward from God for being the Perfect Christian Girl. Everyone is totally jealous, of course.

6) Bin and Jessa officially court and get engaged. Bin did speak with JB and Michlle prior to asking Jessa to court and to get engaged. JB gives approval, but seems hesitant. I think he'd backed himself into a hole, and thought that with Jill's wedding, they were off the hook for getting a daugther married, but by now, Jessa will have Bin and her wedding or die. She'd have married Hitler to spite everyone and show who was in control of her life, as best she could.

By now they both think they invented courting, dating, love, relationships, marriage, etc., plus Jessa starts to actually get the hots for Bin. She's sure the world is jealous.

7) Wedding. Jessa invents sex. Too bad none of the rest of the world knows about sex. Jessa gets pregnant, Bin graduates from community college. Jessa speaks at wonens's events, Bin follows her, but doesn't work or go to school, bc they're pregnant. Baby comes. Jill and Michelle almost kill Jessa. Josh. Bin starts YouTube videos but still no real job. TLC saves the day with anothe special. TBC.....

I think it's time for a TBC follow up..........

8) Joshgate 1 & 2. Jessa is angry because this Perfect Christian Fairytale Life in which she is The Princess is falling apart. She denies anything really happened, its all normal, and The Media and The Gays are led by Satan to destroy the Very Important Yet Vague Seewald 'Ministry'. Joe shows some humbleness. Jana somehow manages to go into hiding. Marj escapes. The smugness escalates in every single J-kid from Josiah down to JoHannnah.

9) Jill goes off her rocker during her monthly trips back and forth to Central America. I guess the toll of not being able to use your Starbucks gift cards and actually having to take care of your one Giant White Baby is stressful. Spending your whole life saying you're training to be a wife and mother apparently did not prepare her to be a wife and mother. I think at one point the people in their community took up a collection for soap and combs for the Crazy White People Who Think We Don't Know Jesus

10) Joy loses her mind and becomes the Fundie Patti Hearst with her Guns for Jesus pics and calling to be a wife and mother. Like, RIGHT NOW. Maybe she's learned that courting is the easiest jurisdiction.

11) Joshgate unhinges Jinger. She loses weight, looks on the verge of tears 24/7, and pretty much looks like one of those arched back, bug eyed feral cats who jumps a mile if a human comes within 20 feet. But Josh didn't do anything and none of them remember what he didn't do anyway. 'Everything's ooookaaayyyy' *plastered grin*

12) Jimbob and Jessa seem to be the two who realize they need to amp it up to keep the money and adoration rolling in. Jinger becomes the sacrificial lamb to be rushed into a courtship. Of course Jessa orchestrated it all, because she IS the HBIC.  Jeremy the Goalie becomes the perfect candidate, bc he is not only media ready, but a more recent Koolaid drinker, and no body gets drunker than a new drinker, er, seeks righteousness in this season of life after repenting of sinful guilt and shame - all in front of a televised/youtubed audience, of course. And his name starts with a "J".  Doesn't matter that Jinger seems terrified of him. It's OK that he's not so pure, because now that the world knows this family is cray, so JimBob has to have a red tent sale to get them gals married and keep the cameras rolling. For the Lord.

13) Jinger is now distracted from wasting away and the verge of tears 24/7, but is infatuated with BAAAEEEE. If Jill became a Stage 5 clinger, Jinger is at risk to become a Stage 10 clinger. Not to be outdone, Jessa is Blessa-ed with baby #2!

14) Bin runs around like a fool making ministry videos, rapping, wearing Ashton Kutcher's wardrobe from 2004, and whatever it is he's doing.

15) Derrick hones is craft/ministry of interpretive dance, wandering the streets of Central America (I don't know where, but you can Skype daily), and playing Xtreme 4 My Homeboy JC youth group games.

Have I forgotten anything? (Not Sierra. I left her out on purpose).

[Portia]

7 hours ago, RazzleberryPie said:

Is that Toddlerese for Jessa Buddy?

My guess is that dehuh = dear (say it with a Southern drawl).

[CarolMK]

Hmm, in regards to the Jessa kicking Jana's bunkbed story, Michelle and Jim Bob didn't even know how to discipline kids properly way back in the day. If that were my kid, I'd let them sleep on the floor in a sleeping bag- no air mattress. I bet one night of that would have cured the problem. Or if it didn't, she could stay there permanently.

[GeeGolly]

In addition to the creepy guys statement and the kicking of the bunk bed story, there are numerous candid clips in previous shows that show Jessa's personality. I can only recall 2 at this point. One where she was about 10 or 11 and a younger sibling was coming into camera range when Jessa was reciting some memorized virtues or something. She two armed, aggressively pushed her younger sibling out of camera range. She didn't hold an arm out, or use words to ask the sibling to leave, or let the sibling join her, she hauled off and shoved the kid to the ground. In another clip when she was late teens/early 20s, she was homeschool-teaching, and one of her little brothers was whining something about doing school work, and Jessa's aggressive reply was a nasty, "Well good thing I'm not ASKING you", with the implication she was demanding that the school work be done. 

In a more staged clip Michelle was describing Jessa as practical because Jessa found Ben's romantic moments as stupid. Jessa couldn't even get out of her own way to try and understand a guy she was intending on marrying. And I recall one of the sisters saying Ben was sweet & thoughtful so he was a good match for Jessa because he would balance the relationship.

IMO, her vibe is beyond not keeping sweet.

Anyway, we really don't know any of this family, but there is 10+ years of filming and throughout it Jessa does not come off as a very nice person. Even more so because she claims to be a nonjudgmental, all loving, Christian.

[ginger90]

Here is Ben's birthday greeting. Jessa hasn't re tweeted his or Jill's so they aren't on her twitter.

[Malvina]

The latest masterpiece from Bin, enjoy 

Dearest Jessa,

It’s your birthday, so I thought I’d take this opportunity to call you some names.

“Jessa-Blessa:” Because you were such a blessing to your parents growing up, and because you’re such a blessing to your own little family now. (Plus it rhymes!)

“Bride:” I could call you “wife” but “bride” carries more of the romantic sentiment of the wedding day. Because I want the young love to continue and remember the vows we made to each other, I’ll call you “Bride”…”MY Bride!”

“Mother:” Throwing this one in here for Spurgeon and Baby #2 because you are such a loving and caring mother to them. Since they’re too young to say “Happy birthday,” I’ll say it for them.

“Beautiful:” Because you are! Inside and out!

“Amazing:” Okay…maybe not a name, but you are amazing!

“Beloved:” Because you’re my Beloved and you are beloved of God.

I thank God that He brought you into the world and that He brought us together! You’ve blessed my life and the lives of others in so many ways! I love you from the depths of my heart!

Happy birthday, Sweetheart!

[BunnyBlueBrown]

I like Ben's little birthday shoutout. At Ben's age and life experience, he should not be trying to go all deep like in those religious posts he attempts. Keep it simple and young-hearted like the bday post.

[Jynnan tonnix]

Aw...that's really rather sweet :)

[Malvina]

24 minutes ago, DOBABYR said:

I like Ben's little birthday shoutout. At Ben's age and life experience, he should not be trying to go all deep like in those religious posts he attempts. Keep it simple and young-hearted like the bday post.

Too generic for me, my name could be there except for Blessa part.

[Sew Sumi]

Happy birthday Spurge! 

1. eta: How many leghumpers will ignore the dire warnings to use the photos without their permission. I think one fanpage already copied them yesterday! I know Jessa is busy today, but can someone tag her and let her know that @duggarsisters is doing this? Much appreciated. :D

Edited November 5, 2016 by Sew Sumi

[Sew Sumi]

She wrote another novel. She really does have a lot of time on her hands, even with being Jinger's MOH and everything: 

Quote

Spurgeon Elliot,

Happy birthday, sweet boy! Wow! Your daddy and I can't believe a whole year has gone by since we held you in our arms for the very first time and got to kiss your chubby little face. ?

You light up our world in a way we never imagined possible. You have such a loving disposition and you've been a smiley little fella since the day you were born. You give the sweetest slobbery kisses that simply melt us! When we've been out on a date and come back to Grandma's to pick you up, you squeal with delight and crawl over to us as fast as you can. We always miss you no matter how short a time we've been apart!

All the milestones and sweet moments have been such a joy to be part of! Three days ago you took your first steps, so we know it won't be long before you'll be cruising all over the house. And you already have ten teeth! We're waiting on those other two molars to pop in any day now. You went from being practically bald at 3 months to now a full head of curly locks. I don't know how I will ever bring myself to cut that hair of yours... not happening anytime soon!

You love bath time and anything to do with water. You're gonna be a little swimmer! You love getting in your stroller and going on walks with mom and dad. And you love car rides! You love crawling around the living room and "wrestling" with Daddy in the evenings, and Mommy loves that it gets you all tuckered out for a good nights sleep!

Your favorite toys right now are your toy tractor, your ball, spoons, bowls & anything that makes music. You also love books and being read to. When we sing during the worship service at church you try to join in! Only problem is, you want to keep singing when right into sermon time! ? Haha! You're starting to understand "shhhh," and you'll bring it down a notch. But often your daddy or I will have to take you out and stand in the back because you end up bursting into song again! However we greatly cherish these days and wouldn't have it any other way! We realize that you're growing up fast... soon you'll be a big boy and I know we're going to miss your spontaneous choruses.

It's so fun to watch your understanding and vocabulary develop! When you see a puppy dog you always shout "Arf, Arf!" You've learned to say "ma" when you're asking for "more" food, and "allllll" when you're "all done" eating. You can sign "please," and you try to mimic us in saying "thank-you" too! When we ask you where your ball is you start searching around the room till you find it and say "Ball!" But of all the words you've learned to say, "Mama" & "Dada" are definitely the sweetest to hear.

We are so excited to celebrate your birthday with family and friends! We pray God blesses you in this new year! May you come to know Christ at an early age and grow into a man who loves and serves God no matter the cost. ❤️

We love you! 
-Mom

Edited November 5, 2016 by Sew Sumi

[Churchhoney]

18 minutes ago, Malvina said:

Too generic for me, my name could be there except for Blessa part.

Still, it seems to me that he and Derick are both a lot less generic with this stuff than Duggar-to-Duggar communications. The thing is, they're just really not that bright. And when you're not that bright or educated or sophisticated as a writer, I think cliches and generalizations not only come to you more easily but they often seem more grand and inspiring. I think we clearly see that in these guys' missives, especially Bin's. So, yeah, it's generic, but coming from somebody like Bin, I think I'd take it. I'm sure he's never taken a writing class where he was shown how powerful specifics are!

[Churchhoney]

7 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

She wrote another novel. She really does have a lot of time on her hands, even with being Jinger's MOH and everything: 

Well, I suppose this has elements of FU Internetz. But good for her for knowing and being interested in specifics about her child. And for spending long enough thinking about him to write something of this length. I'd bet that one big reason JB and M write such paltry birthday notes is they can't spare much more than 30 seconds to think about any other person who isn't JB or M. Even their own kids.

[lascuba]

18 hours ago, Churchhoney said:

 

But Jessa, as you've said, does show some signs of mouthiness, some signs of contrariness, some signs of perhaps a bit of personal backbone -- and that does suggest possibly a tiny bit more intelligence or guts. And yet -- to my eye, she's every bit as stupidly I'm-a-Duggar-so-I'm-great arrogant and committed to the damn Gothard principles as any of the rest of them. And, to me, if she had any real guts, she might question the family traditions and family brainwashings a bit.

 

I've spent way too much thinking about this, and I've come to the conclusion that it's a matter of agency for me. (Granted, none of these kidults actually have much real agency, but bear with me.) I'd rather a woman make choices I think are stupid, evil, dangerous, etc. than just sit back and let those stupid, dangerous, evil things happen to her. And I know I sound dismissive of victims with that statement and I hate that I can't think of better wording, but one of the most frustrating things about the Duggar kidults is that they are in a much better bargaining position than the vast majority of people in their belief system and they don't do a damn thing with it. All those bogus tabloid stories about them standing up to their parents wrt to filming? There's no reason they couldn't be true except that they're so goddamn weak. They have celebrity, access to money, and if they were smart they could hold that against JB and Michelle and essentially blackmail them into living how they want, because no way will those two risk the public backlash that would result from them disowning their children for doing things the rest of the world deems normal adult behavior. But they don't do that. They're stuck in an emotional prison and are too stupid to see that the physical resources are there for them to get out whenever they want. Jana's a sad sack raising her siblings, Jill is living a lifestyle that makes her miserable because that's what her husband wants/Jesus demands, and Jinger...well, let's hope I'm wrong about her future with Jeremy, because yikes. The boys are all just there, working for the family, doing nothing for themselves. Even JD's pilot license is in service to his family. 

Jessa, on the other hand? She's made a conscious decision to be the big fish in the little pond (I 100% agree with that assessment). She's looked at her life and her prospects, analyzed the tiny bit she knows about the world, and has just enough self-awareness to know that with her lack of education and skills, she can't hack it anywhere else. I'm not saying she's made good or intelligent or admirable decisions (Ben and Gothard), but she's actively deciding things for herself instead of being like her siblings and letting decisions happen to her. I don't like her or respect her choices, but in the context of her family? I like that she *makes* choices. 

[RazzleberryPie]

44 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

She wrote another novel. She really does have a lot of time on her hands, even with being Jinger's MOH and everything: 

That's because being Jinger's MOH is about Jinger, but writing about Spurge is about Jessa herself. Jana can do the MOH stuff for Jessa, thus giving Jessa time to devote to her brand, er, vanity.

[Sew Sumi]

Of course. I wonder if she even threw Jinger's shower or if that also fell on Jana's shoulders?

[lascuba]

19 hours ago, RazzleberryPie said:

 

Despite all the 'Free Jinger' claims, I actually think she may be the most brainwashed. She's the not who seems ready to crumble at any second, especially after Jessa flew the dorm. Jinger's eye rolls to me were more of 'we are SOOOO cool, right Jessa? Everybody wants to be US, bc we do everything differently! Anything different *insert eyeroll*.' 

Jinger might be destracted for a split second by this wedding, but she's drunker on the koolaid than Jill. Jill is a space cadet, Jessa is hustling to keep her HBIC status intact, but Jinger neck deep in Koolaid. Joy's smugness and hatefulness disappoints me the most so far. I have hopes for Jenny, but that's about it. 

I really believe that all the "free Jinger!" stuff, going back to TwoP, really messed things up for her. Because the family no doubt has always been aware of it, which means the pressure for Jinger to conform must have been even more intense.

[RazzleberryPie]

5 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

Of course. I wonder if she even threw Jinger's shower or if that also fell on Jana's shoulders?

Do I have to say the "S" word? You know she was ready and willing with her oriental trading company catalog and hot glue gun.

[Sew Sumi]

No, she posted on IG that she's selling all of her catering stuff; it's in storage right now. At most, she did coordinate this affair, but no, she did not cater it. 

[RazzleberryPie]

2 minutes ago, lascuba said:

I really believe that all the "free Jinger!" stuff, going back to TwoP, really messed things up for her. Because the family no doubt has always been aware of it, which means the pressure for Jinger to conform must have been even more intense.

Oh it definitely made them watch her closer, no doubt. She seems the most easily influence if the bunch and is definitely a follower.

jessa is the one who would've been most likely to show some independence, which is why all but forced her into courting Bin. She's just stupid and stubborn enough to cut off her own nose to spite her face.

Jinger's 'I want to be a photographer in a city' were about as random and daydreamy as when a 10 year old who has never picked up a basketball and is genetically destined to be built like Danny DeVito says he is going to be the next LeBron. 

[Minivanessa]

36 minutes ago, lascuba said:

I've spent way too much thinking about this, and I've come to the conclusion that it's a matter of agency for me. (Granted, none of these kidults actually have much real agency, but bear with me.) I'd rather a woman make choices I think are stupid, evil, dangerous, etc. than just sit back and let those stupid, dangerous, evil things happen to her. And I know I sound dismissive of victims with that statement and I hate that I can't think of better wording, but one of the most frustrating things about the Duggar kidults is that they are in a much better bargaining position than the vast majority of people in their belief system and they don't do a damn thing with it. All those bogus tabloid stories about them standing up to their parents wrt to filming? There's no reason they couldn't be true except that they're so goddamn weak. They have celebrity, access to money, and if they were smart they could hold that against JB and Michelle and essentially blackmail them into living how they want, because no way will those two risk the public backlash that would result from them disowning their children for doing things the rest of the world deems normal adult behavior. But they don't do that. They're stuck in an emotional prison and are too stupid to see that the physical resources are there for them to get out whenever they want. Jana's a sad sack raising her siblings, Jill is living a lifestyle that makes her miserable because that's what her husband wants/Jesus demands, and Jinger...well, let's hope I'm wrong about her future with Jeremy, because yikes. The boys are all just there, working for the family, doing nothing for themselves. Even JD's pilot license is in service to his family. 

Jessa, on the other hand? She's made a conscious decision to be the big fish in the little pond (I 100% agree with that assessment). She's looked at her life and her prospects, analyzed the tiny bit she knows about the world, and has just enough self-awareness to know that with her lack of education and skills, she can't hack it anywhere else. I'm not saying she's made good or intelligent or admirable decisions (Ben and Gothard), but she's actively deciding things for herself instead of being like her siblings and letting decisions happen to her. I don't like her or respect her choices, but in the context of her family? I like that she *makes* choices. 

Good points, especially that bolded sentence. We're all in one way or another, products of our upbringing. Whether we accepted all of it, or questioned some of it, or rejected it completely. Some of us were lucky enough to be reared in loving and emotionally healthy supportive families; others were cursed with controlling nutjob parents. Boob and MEchelle have the perfect recipe for raising kids with all the spunk, individuality, initiative, and self-respect efficiently sucked out of them by the time they can drive a car. The recipe includes TV money and celebrity, strict isolation from the evil world, and toxic religion. 

Actually, Jessa's got what it takes to be good at her job: reality TV personality. The rest of her siblings are scandal-scarred (Josh), uninterested, unattractive, and/or just kind of dim - not good for TV. Jessa's telegenic, with some kind of spark to her even if it's mostly negative, and she 1000% wants to be on TV. She lusts for it so hard that her declaration that they're not a TV family, just a family that's on TV, was such comedy gold bullshit. 

Yep, I don't like her, either. But, agreed, she at least makes choices, and has an inkling that she has some power over JB and Michelle. Didn't she "joke" about eloping? Heh. I can't imagine any of her siblings even thinking of that kind of backtalk, much less saying it. 

Jill, OTOH, is just a mess. I really don't think she has a clue that she has value as a TV reality star. I think that in her Jesus-imbued brain, she's famous because she's so fucking righteous and religious and good. And there's often a professional TLC camera crew recording her life for similar reasons. I don't think she even understands very much about where the family income comes from. We've seen evidence that Derick is trying to teach her some basic life skills, like where their income comes from, and how to budget. Jill learned to raise her eyebrows when photographed and that could be the limit of her media savvy despite all those years on TLC and all those People magazine covers. 

Edited November 5, 2016 by Jeeves

[RazzleberryPie]

3 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

No, she posted on IG that she's selling all of her catering stuff; it's in storage right now. At most, she did coordinate this affair, but no, she did not cater it. 

I trust your knowledge 100%, and hope they actually have some real food!

[GeeGolly]

Uh oh, Jessa better prepare for the barrage of hater comments. In the pics on her blog Spurge has bruises on his arms in photos 5, 7 & 10.

[DangerousMinds]

17 hours ago, ginger90 said:

Can't they ever just say happy birthday ?

Yeah, maybe just in person?

[Sew Sumi]

I just realized that Benessa made that barrage of posts a couple of hours, which was about 10 their time. Shouldn't they have been at the church by then? Or did they have this stuff written and saved on their devices to launch when they had a second to deploy the send buttons? Because yeah, they should have been at the church hours ago to get ready and take the bridal party pictures. The wedding should be going off anytime between now (noon central)  and a couple hours from now. 2:00 is about the latest I've seen for a fundie wedding on a Saturday...have to make sure everyone gets home for church on Sunday! 

I doubt we'll get any ceremony shots unless someone in the middle of a row is really sly. TFDW got some pics of Michael Bates' wedding, but I don't think security was that tight at any of the Bateses' events, even though they were all filmed. 

[Sew Sumi]

1 hour ago, RazzleberryPie said:

I trust your knowledge 100%, and hope they actually have some real food!

This was posted to JinJer's thread: 

[Absolom]

I think the wedding is at 2:00 PM.

[GeeGolly]

2 minutes ago, Absolom said:

I think the wedding is at 2:00 PM.

Hmm... you going?

[lascuba]

36 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

I just realized that Benessa made that barrage of posts a couple of hours, which was about 10 their time. Shouldn't they have been at the church by then? Or did they have this stuff written and saved on their devices to launch when they had a second to deploy the send buttons? Because yeah, they should have been at the church hours ago to get ready and take the bridal party pictures. The wedding should be going off anytime between now (noon central)  and a couple hours from now. 2:00 is about the latest I've seen for a fundie wedding on a Saturday...have to make sure everyone gets home for church on Sunday! 

I doubt we'll get any ceremony shots unless someone in the middle of a row is really sly. TFDW got some pics of Michael Bates' wedding, but I don't think security was that tight at any of the Bateses' events, even though they were all filmed. 

Deliberate ploy to make people think the wedding isn't today?

[Sew Sumi]

I forgot to bring that up in my post, but yeah, that's the point I was actually trying to make. Subterfuge. But if the wedding isn't until 2, I guess they would have had a few minutes to copy/paste a post to Jessa's FB. I didn't see Ben's blog post until this morning, but I imagine it went up yesterday (I don't read their blogs because they're all monetized).

[Bitter Betty]

A lot of apps that post to social media let you schedule when a post is posted. It's entirely possible the posts were written days/weeks/etc ago.  

[ginger90]

I thought Ben and Jessa's posts were nice (came this close to saying sweet!!!). Jessa's would make a nice entry in Spurgeon's baby book, if he has one.

[Churchhoney]

2 hours ago, lascuba said:

I've spent way too much thinking about this, and I've come to the conclusion that it's a matter of agency for me. (Granted, none of these kidults actually have much real agency, but bear with me.) I'd rather a woman make choices I think are stupid, evil, dangerous, etc. than just sit back and let those stupid, dangerous, evil things happen to her. And I know I sound dismissive of victims with that statement and I hate that I can't think of better wording, but one of the most frustrating things about the Duggar kidults is that they are in a much better bargaining position than the vast majority of people in their belief system and they don't do a damn thing with it. All those bogus tabloid stories about them standing up to their parents wrt to filming? There's no reason they couldn't be true except that they're so goddamn weak. They have celebrity, access to money, and if they were smart they could hold that against JB and Michelle and essentially blackmail them into living how they want, because no way will those two risk the public backlash that would result from them disowning their children for doing things the rest of the world deems normal adult behavior. But they don't do that. They're stuck in an emotional prison and are too stupid to see that the physical resources are there for them to get out whenever they want. Jana's a sad sack raising her siblings, Jill is living a lifestyle that makes her miserable because that's what her husband wants/Jesus demands, and Jinger...well, let's hope I'm wrong about her future with Jeremy, because yikes. The boys are all just there, working for the family, doing nothing for themselves. Even JD's pilot license is in service to his family. 

Jessa, on the other hand? She's made a conscious decision to be the big fish in the little pond (I 100% agree with that assessment). She's looked at her life and her prospects, analyzed the tiny bit she knows about the world, and has just enough self-awareness to know that with her lack of education and skills, she can't hack it anywhere else. I'm not saying she's made good or intelligent or admirable decisions (Ben and Gothard), but she's actively deciding things for herself instead of being like her siblings and letting decisions happen to her. I don't like her or respect her choices, but in the context of her family? I like that she *makes* choices. 

 

I think you make a really good point here about the agency and choice. I think you're probably quite right about agency being something we see in Jessa but see not at all or almost not at all in the other females.  And not just in the girls, actually -- we don't see much agency in the boys either, which tells me just how sick and messed up this family is. When you've got nearly a dozen young people past high school age, at least some of them are supposed to be channeling their young energy toward making new and individual lives of their own in the wide world.

I think I'm obsessively annoyed with her because I so badly want somebody to get out of there that seeing anybody use their modicum of gumption for any other purpose seems a horrifying waste. Because, to me, the only way for any of them to make their lives worthwhile is to break with the family traditions and get out of Dodge. That's so urgent, to my mind, that I can't stand seeing anybody use energy to do anything else. (And I'm still waiting to see anybody using energy for that, of course.)

(For me there's a slight caveat regarding Jill on the agency front -- I suspect that she probably did fairly actively choose and assent to the mission work initially. And that that and her embrace of Derick were a bit of agency and choice, too -- missions were her longtime dream and I suspect that a lot of her enthusiasm for Derick (aside from his being the first guy who'd looked at her, of course) was based on seeing him as somebody who would share her own hopes and ambitions. But then, of course, she found out that everything she thought she "knew" about missions was dead wrong, once she was involved in a [sort of] real one. And it completely deflated her and now she's just letting herself be dragged along like a sad balloon.)

And, yep, I've spent too much time thinking about this, too. On the other hand, I'm sure that clarifying one's thinking about something is ever a waste of time -- even if the subject is the Duggars.

Edited November 5, 2016 by Churchhoney

[Absolom]

1 hour ago, GeeGolly said:

Hmm... you going?

Hardly, I'm sick in bed in a different state with no invitation.  ;)

[Westiepeach]

13 minutes ago, Absolom said:

Hardly, I'm sick in bed in a different state with no invitation.  ;)

Invitations don't matter!

[BunnyBlueBrown]

7 hours ago, Malvina said:

Too generic for me, my name could be there except for Blessa part.

Of course & so is Ben & Jessa so it's perfect 

[ginger90]

3 hours ago, Absolom said:

Hardly, I'm sick in bed in a different state with no invitation.  ;)

Feel better!!

[Love2dance]

5 hours ago, Absolom said:

Hardly, I'm sick in bed in a different state with no invitation.  ;)

Awww. Hope you feel better soon, ABSOLOM. 

[ChaChaSlide]

9 hours ago, lascuba said:

I really believe that all the "free Jinger!" stuff, going back to TwoP, really messed things up for her. Because the family no doubt has always been aware of it, which means the pressure for Jinger to conform must have been even more intense.

I was just saying this, that all of the early spunk viewers saw was "trained" out of her, likely in reaction to FJ. I also wonder if FJ sees their place in her supposed misery; as harshly as they police speculation about minors and "adults still under the influence of their parents (whatever that means )", I've never seen anyone on that site speculate on the effects of a freaking WEBSITE being named after a minor girl (at the time) in an extremely patriarchal controlling family. The hypocrisy of it all is just...tch. 

[Absolom]

Thank you, all.  I think I may be improving.  At least it's been fun being able to keep up with Duggar news.

[Ljohnson1987]

Happy belated birthday Spurge. He's a cutie

[Barb23]

12 minutes ago, Ljohnson1987 said:

Happy belated birthday Spurge. He's a cutie

Spurge's expression on the wedding picture that Lawson Bates is holding him is priceless.  He looks just like any other guy wearing a tux or formal attire - "How soon can I take this off?"

[sheshark]

I cannot figure out why Blessa changed from a beautiful purple gown to a nothing black dress for the 'reception".

[Readalot]

1 minute ago, sheshark said:

I cannot figure out why Blessa changed from a beautiful purple gown to a nothing black dress for the 'reception".

Maybe she didn't take the tags off and she is going to resell it at the consignment shop. 

[louannems]

23 minutes ago, sheshark said:

I cannot figure out why Blessa changed from a beautiful purple gown to a nothing black dress for the 'reception".

Maybe it was too tight at the waist with her being Big Pregnant and all.

[Absolom]

It looks like they were leaving the reception perhaps and she didn't want to ride home in the possibly tight long dress or maybe Spurge spilled something on her.

[RazzleberryPie]

Jessa is about Jessa. Even at her former lapdog Jinger's Most Important Day of Her Life, Jessa is going to serve herself ASAP. She's going to rid herself of anything that gives attention to anyone else and leave as soon as she can. 

[Sew Sumi]

1 hour ago, sheshark said:

I cannot figure out why Blessa changed from a beautiful purple gown to a nothing black dress for the 'reception".

It looks like they were leaving the reception venue, so they were done. Jessa is holding what looks to be a clothes bag and is carrying a huge tote. Jeremy is also carrying stuff. I guess someone had to transfer all of their clothing from wherever they changed to the end point; there were plenty of male Duggar drivers who could bring the guy's stuff (for those who didn't show up already dressed). The wedding planner and her assistants could bring over the women's clothes during the ceremony. 

[riverblue22]

Maybe they rented the bridesmaid dresses and Sierra had to get them back by 6!

[FakeJoshDuggar]

On 11/4/2016 at 8:28 AM, lascuba said:

How? I'm seriously asking. What has Jessa ever done or said that would give the impression that she'd be cruel?

They're all cruel. The whole damn family. 

Trying to legislate women's bodies because of your fucked up religious beliefs? Cruel.

Robo calling constituents telling them that transgender women are raping little girls in bathrooms (hello, irony calling). Cruel. 

A family who purports to have millions of dollars go on poverty tours and the only thing they bring people less fortunate than themselves is a few bottles of nail polish. Cruel.

Although victims themselves, Jessa and Jill sat there on Fox News and excused away their pedophile brother's molestation of their five year old sister. That's really effing cruel.