Jessa, Ben and Their Brood: Making a (Diaper) Mountain out of a Mold House

[overbooked]

I was thinking the same thing about the band being uncomfortable because it sticks out from the finger on the sides.  The last thing you would want is someone clutching your hand/fingers together like Ben does in many of the ring pictures.

[GEML]

I don't think posting what is by any standard a very modest ring is out of keeping with their lifestyle or "ministry." Marriage is the one moment in many of these women's lives where they are made to feel special, and the ring is part of that.

In fact, it was a fundamentalist minister friend who once said to me there are three things that are ALWAYS beautiful no matter what they look like: an engagement ring, a bride on her wedding day, and a new baby.

[ginger90]

three things that are ALWAYS beautiful no matter what they look like: an engagement ring, a bride on her wedding day, and a new baby.

 

A ring? And specifically an engagement ring? That seems odd to me. Oh well!!

[ariel]

A ring? And specifically an engagement ring? That seems odd to me. Oh well!!

I think  she might be a member of the Family Research Council.

[Higgins]

I think she is proud of her ring and she should be. It is a lovely ring fitting for a very young couple. When I was married at 20, My husband gave me a .72 carat diamond with smaller accent diamonds. Believe it or not, it was considered large at the time. It is a very nice diamond in quality standards but now it is considered modest to small in size. I have had it reset in an antique platinum pave halo setting and I love, it is delicate and flattering to my hand.

[BitterApple]

I don't think people are necessarily knocking the size so much as the God-awful, flimsy setting. It makes the ring look cheap. She's had it for what, two weeks, and the band is already nicked up. If I were her, I'd have the diamond reset, because the stone is pretty.

[Jynnan tonnix]

My engagement ring has a diamond of roughly 1/3 carat. I know my husband went out and talked to a bunch of local jewelers and looked at a lot of stones before selecting it. He could have found a larger stone within his means, but chose, instead, to go with the best one he could find. He told me, at the time, "it's practically flawless, just like you". Awww....30 years later, the diamond is still practically flawless, but I suspect he might have noticed a few faults in me since then :) At any rate, I would never trade it for something larger.

[Libby96]

When did .75 become a small diamond? Do ladies these days all expect a karat or more? Mine is a little under half a karat, is a good quality stone that my husband carefully selected, and was what was within his means at the time we got engaged. I would never "trade up" either.

I agree that the band on Jessa's ring is a little unusual, but the stone is quite pretty. The most important thing is that she loves it.

[SmallTownMom]

Everybody seems to refer to Jessa as "the pretty one."  I have to disagree- I think Jana is the real beauty in that family.  I'd like to see her smile more, and also to get a life of her own. 

 

I noticed during the video with Ben and Jessa showing off her ring, that he kind of talks out of the side of his mouth.  And she always does something weird with her chin when she smiles her smug little smile.  I know it's shallow, but they annoy me.

 

I can hardly stand to think of these 2 little kids getting married.  If they didn't have the Duggar money to fall back on, they would have absolutely nothing.

[3 is enough]

Not a style I would pick but it is her ring.  As long as she is happy that is all that matters.

I do have to wonder how Ben was able to pay for it.  

I got engaged 35 years ago.  I was almost 20, DH was almost 21.  We had both graduated with associate's degrees and he was going to night school to get his bachelor's degree.  We had decent paying technical jobs.  He spent $525 for a 15 point diamond.  It was small, but really good quality.  I was very happy with it.  When I turned 40 he got me a bigger stone, and had the original set in a pendant for me.

 

My point is, he got something he could afford without help from anyone. And we both had good jobs and saved our money for a year before we got married. We did not have a registry. Of course we got gifts, but they were modest and we were happy with them.

 

We got our educations, made sure we had good jobs, and THEN got married.  We didn't save our first kiss, or first anything, for that matter ;) for the wedding.  And we didn't have our first child for a long time.  We may have been young, but we approached marriage as adults. 

 

I don't get warm and fuzzy feelings about these two.  Two uneducated, unemployed, horny kids desperate to jump on each other is hardly a recipe for a successful marriage.  Add the inevitable baby ASAP and that is one honeymoon that will be over far too soon. 

[Fostersmom]

Is Jessa's ring that much bigger than Jill's? They both look to be about a half a carat. I like the cut of Jessa's diamond but I think it would have been so much prettier if it had been set traditionally in a sparkly band. For some reason that setting just doesn't say "engagement ring" to me. I guess if she likes it, that's all that matters, but it's not a ring I could see myself wanting to wear twenty or thirty years down the road. 

 

Jessa's is a bit bigger, but it's not like she's walking around with 2 carats on her finger. It doesn't look like any bridal set I've ever seen. It reminds me of those "right hand rings" jewelry stores were pushing in the late 90's. Seeing the close up of the shape of the band and the diamond, I can see her easily accidentally scratching a baby with it. I know I got my nephews a couple of times with rings with much less angular settings.  

[BitterApple]

When did .75 become a small diamond? Do ladies these days all expect a karat or more? Mine is a little under half a karat, is a good quality stone that my husband carefully selected, and was what was within his means at the time we got engaged. I would never "trade up" either.

I agree that the band on Jessa's ring is a little unusual, but the stone is quite pretty. The most important thing is that she loves it.

Where I live women tend to want oversize rings, even if their husbands are still paying on them ten years into the marriage. I always wanted a big ring and when I got one I was happy until I realized it was a total pain in the ass to wear because it snags on everything. So the only time it sees the light of day is if I'm going out for the evening, otherwise it's too cumbersome to wear.

Edited September 9, 2014 by BitterApple

[Ripley68]

As long as she likes it, that's all that matters.  I agree with band, it's not going to hold up and it will hurt her hand.

 

She says they have most of the wedding planned...well duh!  She probably planned along with Jill, picked out her dress and everything probably the same time.  Not too shocked about that.

[Almost 3000]

Am I a bad person in that it amuses me that the uncomfortably designed choice for an engagement ring mirrors an uncomfortably bad choice this engagement appears to be?

[BitterApple]

Am I a bad person in that it amuses me that the uncomfortably designed choice for an engagement ring mirrors an uncomfortably bad choice this engagement appears to be?

It is rather apropos, isn't it? 

[overbooked]

^^^ If this were a novel I'd call it foreshadowing:)

[NausetGirl]

And to think I felt sort of guilty asking for a $50 blender when hubby and I got married (our friend who likes margaritas bought it for us haha). 

 

Furniture, laptops, and restaurant gift cards?  I just can't even imagine. It's definitely nice to receive a "night out" gift like dinner, movie, etc. but I can't imagine registering for it. As someone mentioned earlier I bet they plan to return most physical gifts for store credit too. That seems to be the norm lately. So far I've gotten two different shower/wedding invites that pretty much said (in slightly nicer language) "please include gift receipts, as the bride and groom will be returning everything."  Ohhhkayyyy.

 

Don't people in the South have showers? In my region [mid-Atlantic] showers are for basic household needs and wedding presents usually consist of cash or the more expensive tabletop items like china, crystal, flatware etc [of course being a Duggar, Jessa won't need anything permanent in the tabletop area].  Me-ow!  And not for nothing but when did couples begin to get this sense of entitlement regarding wedding presents?  Gifts used to be given because a bride and groom were setting up a household for the first time.  This is rarely the case these days.  Most couples in the US get married when they're older now or at least have been out in the world working for a few years.  Most or at least many have had their own apartments, sometimes even houses.  Many are already living with the person they're marrying.  There is no more need for couples to receive a massive influx of gifts since basic households needs have already been met - sometimes doubly.  Personally I'd like to see presents given ONLY at the big anniversaries - 10, 25, 40, 50 etc - when the couple has something to show for it.  STAYING married is a reason for gift-giving - that's an accomplishment.  GETTING married is not.  

Edited September 9, 2014 by NausetGirl

[Higgins]

Don't people in the South have showers? In my region [mid-Atlantic] showers are for basic household needs and wedding presents usually consist of cash or the more expensive tabletop items like china, crystal, flatware etc [of course being a Duggar, Jessa won't need anything permanent in the tabletop area].  Me-ow!  And not for nothing but when did couples begin to get this sense of entitlement regarding wedding presents?  Gifts used to be given because a bride and groom were setting up a household for the first time.  This is rarely the case these days.  Most couples in the US get married when they're older now or at least have been out in the world working for a few years.  Most or at least many have had their own apartments, sometimes even houses.  Many are already living with the person they're marrying.  There is no more need for couples to receive a massive influx of gifts since basic households needs have already been met - sometimes double.  Personally I'd like to see presents given ONLY at the big anniversaries - 10, 25, 40, 50 etc - when the couple has something to show for it.  STAYING married is a reason for gift-giving.  That's an accomplishment.  GETTING married is not.

That's interesting because when I was young here in the Mid Atlantic, showers were given for the bride and gifts were more personal to her like night gowns and lotions and feminine things and household things were given for the wedding. I don't see the point in a shower for household items from the registry.

[NausetGirl]

I still don't understand why she is posting using his last name. 

 

I know, me too. I think that is just the weirdest thing!  Why on earth would you start using your boyfriend's last name?  I'd be nervous about using it the day before my wedding to the guy, it would be like jinxing things.  Very very odd...

[WTFFF]

She was calling herself Jessa Seewald before they were engaged (kind of like a tween girl doodling in her notebook).  But as long as they don't hold hands, her heart is protected!  This family is ridiculous. 

 

 

I don't see the point in a shower for household items from the registry.

 

Twice the presents.  That's pretty much it.  You're expected to give at both.

[GEML]

I think  she might be a member of the Family Research Council.

Oh my word, this is so hilarious!  If there was a way to show you photos of my daughter with Democrat politicians, I would, but you'll just have to take my word for it, that Josh and I don't run in the same circles.  I am in politics though.  And I was raised in several different types of fundamentalist worlds, and studying American Protestantism is a hobby, so I find the Duggars interesting, although they are far from being the most interesting movement going.

[NikSac]

That's interesting because when I was young here in the Mid Atlantic, showers were given for the bride and gifts were more personal to her like night gowns and lotions and feminine things and household things were given for the wedding. I don't see the point in a shower for household items from the registry.

 

Granted I'm pretty far away both geographically and religiously but I've been to showers of both types. I thought the ones for the bride where gifts were personal were a lot more fun and allowed for some creativity in gift giving. The more recent ones I've been to were more like "here is the registry; buy from it!" for the engagement, and the shower, and the wedding, and sometimes the following Christmas, birthdays, and housewarming.

Edited September 9, 2014 by NikSac

[lottiedottie]

She was calling herself Jessa Seewald before they were engaged (kind of like a tween girl doodling in her notebook).  But as long as they don't hold hands, her heart is protected!  This family is ridiculous. 

 

 

Twice the presents.  That's pretty much it.  You're expected to give at both.

I suspect that they have been engaged longer than we've been led to believe. Maybe they felt like they needed to wait to announce it until Bin was 19 so it wouldn't seem so ill-advised? Maybe they felt people would be less outraged at a19-year-old getting married than an 18-year-old?

[Catlyn]

Don't people in the South have showers? In my region [mid-Atlantic] showers are for basic household needs and wedding presents usually consist of cash or the more expensive tabletop items like china, crystal, flatware etc [of course being a Duggar, Jessa won't need anything permanent in the tabletop area].  Me-ow!  And not for nothing but when did couples begin to get this sense of entitlement regarding wedding presents?  Gifts used to be given because a bride and groom were setting up a household for the first time.  This is rarely the case these days.  Most couples in the US get married when they're older now or at least have been out in the world working for a few years.  Most or at least many have had their own apartments, sometimes even houses.  Many are already living with the person they're marrying.  There is no more need for couples to receive a massive influx of gifts since basic households needs have already been met - sometimes double.  Personally I'd like to see presents given ONLY at the big anniversaries - 10, 25, 30, 50 etc - when the couple has something to show for it.  STAYING married is a reason for gift-giving.  That's an accomplishment.  GETTING married is not.

That's interesting because when I was young here in the Mid Atlantic, showers were given for the bride and gifts were more personal to her like night gowns and lotions and feminine things and household things were given for the wedding. I don't see the point in a shower for household items from the registry.

 

Depends on what part of the Mid-Atlantic region and what time. There used to be a time when there was themed showers for the bride, back when she truly was setting up house for the first time. Kitchen showers, usually the centerpiece was a mop dressed in kitchen items such as a apron, rubber gloves etc., household where the bride may have been lucky enough to get an upright vacuum (Or an ironing board) dressed in yes, an apron and other items needed for the house, which you usually forget to get until you move in. There were some personal items also, but mostly the showers were for setting up house as the bride should have been getting the personal things as she was preparing her trousseau.

 

Then when women began moving out earlier, with or without partners, room mates, etc. the more personal items came in for showers. Now it's anything goes. and apparently for Wedding gifts also. 

 

But, I'm wondering if some of the gift cards that are on Jessa's list are because they know they are going to get gifts from fans and have the gift cards so fans can buy something and easily mail it to them without breaking the fan's budgets. I'm sure they've gotten things for birthdays, etc. so they know they have some people out there who want to be a part of it no matter what.  

[roamyn]

^^^ If this were a novel I'd call it foreshadowing:)

That's exactly what I was thinking: A short term band for a short term marriage.

[Fuzzysox]

I grew up wearing only jewelry made out of 18 kt gold so when my fiance and I  were looking for wedding bands I wanted 18 kt of course. The jeweler said you don't want that because it's way too soft for everyday wear and wear and we ended up getting 14. So I'm very suspect on Jessa's ring because last time I was in a high end jewelry store they barely had any gold just white gold and they told me that they don't get a lot of requests for it either. 

 

I'm thinking that ring was something that Boob might have picked up at an estate sale for Bin????? I can see him buying used for Jessa because Bin ain't going to be around for long so why waste the money??

[GEML]

I think it's likely that it was bought used and quite possibly from a pawn shop. That would allow Ben to get Jessa the largest diamond of all the so far (I will always remember that Anna's is "half a carrot" from the skit. That was genuinely funny.)

[BitterApple]

I think it's likely that it was bought used and quite possibly from a pawn shop. That would allow Ben to get Jessa the largest diamond of all the so far (I will always remember that Anna's is "half a carrot" from the skit. That was genuinely funny.)

That's exactly how someone like Bin would think. Derick bought Jill a ring that is classic and tasteful, Bin buys Jessa a ring that looks like it's going to slice through her fingers just to get .10 more in carat weight. 

[Sew Sumi]

As if Blessa's ego couldn't get any bigger, she set herself up with a facebook account today in which she lists her occupation as "author." I guess she forgets that ghostwriter who actually did all the work on that awful book.

 

At any rate, yet another place for the leghumpers to fawn over how wonderful and perfect and beautiful she is, as well as the usual Duggar accolades. Barf.

[Working mommy123]

There is just something not right about Jessa and Ben. Ben seems like the type who's temper is simmering just under the surface...you can tell by his reactions to some of the Dugger brothers and sisters when they kid him or pull him away from Jessa....like he's on the verge of telling them to shove off. His father obviously has a temper too, judging by his responses on his blog towards people who don't agree with him. It makes me think that Ben probably grew up around that kind of man/father. I might be wrong, it's just an observation based on what I see on TV and what I've read on Seewald's blog.. Unfortunately, once a courtship is in the works with people who practice religion like the Duggers do, it's like a runaway train that can't be stopped without loosing face. The families are so involved that it's like there is already a covenant between them, before the poor kids barely even know each other. This is not the set up for a successful marriage, especially with people this young, and that is just so sad.

Edited September 10, 2014 by Working mommy123

[Fuzzysox]

^^^Your not the only one. I can see Bin having a raging temper once he is in charge of Jessa.

[Adeejay]

I found Jason’s comment about the possibility of Jessa and Ben not making it all the way to the altar, rather interesting.   With the exceptions of Michelle and Johannah, the Duggars don’t seem to care for Ben; especially the guys.

[Fuzzysox]

I looked up Jessa's FB page. Yeah I made a comment about Bin I bet I will get banned real quick (Duggar speak)

[zenme]

I know it has been said before, but damn! Jessa's skin is so distracting, I wind up having to rewind to hear what she's actually saying in her talking heads.  It seems that her skin has gotten progressively worse in the last couple of years--which happens to coincide with her increased makeup application.  Hopefully among all of her gift card requests she's got some for some facials, or perhaps new makeup and makeup brushes...face soaps, etc. 

 

I have a feeling that after November 1, when Ben's really gotten Jessa, she'll start to see the real Ben Sewald.  I predict it will be little by little, and especially after the first couple of kids, the honeymoon will be over and Jessa unhappy with her choice in husband.  I give her 3 years to realize this. 

 

It's all really sad.  A young woman should be able to date as she pleases, thus avoiding winding up with a dud of a husband.  At least she would have experiences and learn what it is she likes and dislikes in a partner.  Unfortunately, having your heartbroken is a part of life.  We can't avoid that. I have given away many "pieces of my heart," and I learned something from each and every relationship.  I wouldn't go back and change that, because along with the breakups, there were also the first glances, the first time he asked me out, the first date, the first kiss...all those firsts.  Those Duggar girls are missing out on LIFE!

[joanofarch4]

Bessa, "author"?  I just watched another "Dishin' with the Duggars" flashback episode - which has become my entire life -  in which they visit the elementary school, and Bessa says, "I think this will be all the book writin' for me!"  I've about decided that DVR is evil.  Agree that Bin is a potential batterer in waiting.  On a happier note, the scene in which Joyless Anna tries to get the five little ones "in training" to practice a song is hysterical...  "Instantly obey!"  She's got a rough five years ahead of her.

Edited September 10, 2014 by joanofarch4

[ginger90]

I wonder if the Facebook page is really Jessa ?

[Turquoise]

As if Blessa's ego couldn't get any bigger, she set herself up with a facebook account today in which she lists her occupation as "author." I guess she forgets that ghostwriter who actually did all the work on that awful book.

 

At any rate, yet another place for the leghumpers to fawn over how wonderful and perfect and beautiful she is, as well as the usual Duggar accolades. Barf.

It's precious that Jessa has entered the Facebook season of life...

[truthtalk2014]

I found Jason’s comment about the possibility of Jessa and Ben not making it all the way to the altar, rather interesting.   With the exceptions of Michelle and Johannah, the Duggars don’t seem to care for Ben; especially the guys.

I think the Duggar boys are jealous of Ben.  He's a good looking man.  He's outnumbered so bad with the clan and can't really tell them to go F* themselves and I can imagine he wants to.  I wish he would slam a couple of them around good and tell them who is boss.  But he won't.  He's under inspection.  Poor guy.  I hate that he takes their crap and doesn't speak up.  

 

What I really hate is that Boob had the nerve to put him on the spot at a huge gathering and ask if he would like to move into their guest hovel.  What was he going to say??? NO!  OMG- he should have.  

It's precious that Jessa has entered the Facebook season of life...

I think it's precious and sweet!

^^^Your not the only one. I can see Bin having a raging temper once he is in charge of Jessa.

I would have a raging temper if I was in charge of Jessa- trying to break her out of her legs closed mentality that I am sure she will bring into the marriage.  I feel SO sorry for the guy.  I am sure divorce will happen in a few years when he just can't take it anymore.  

[zenme]

What I really hate is that Boob had the nerve to put him on the spot at a huge gathering and ask if he would like to move into their guest hovel.  What was he going to say??? NO!  OMG- he should have.

 

I don't feel sorry for Ben in the least.  If he's a grown ass man enough for him to be considering marriage, then he should be man enough to  say to Jim Bob, "That's definitely something for me to consider," (which I think he did), and then if he doesn't like the idea, for him to say, "I thank you, Mr. Duggar, but I think I've decided to XYZ..."  Something tells me that this was likely discussed off camera at some point, and for the sake of the show, Ben feigned surprise. 

Edited September 10, 2014 by zenme

[truthtalk2014]

I just think he's too young and stupid to have the balls to stand up to Boob and suggest that Jessa move to LIttle Rock instead!  lol Now how funny would that have been.  

[starfire]

As if Blessa's ego couldn't get any bigger, she set herself up with a facebook account today in which she lists her occupation as "author." I guess she forgets that ghostwriter who actually did all the work on that awful book.

 

At any rate, yet another place for the leghumpers to fawn over how wonderful and perfect and beautiful she is, as well as the usual Duggar accolades. Barf.

 

 

The Business Person is marrying the Author. Neat!

(I guess that sounds better than JimBob's teenage yard bitch is marrying the unemployed Majestic Princess.)

[Fuzzysox]

LMAO Bin is JimBoob's bitch!

[WTFFF]

 

^^^Your not the only one. I can see Bin having a raging temper once he is in charge of Jessa.

He always seems to be ready to get pissed off whenever Jessa makes one of her comments that he thinks might be insulting to him somehow.  I shudder to think what happens when there are no cameras on them and he really owns her.  He also has the deadest eyes I've ever seen since that shark that ate Samuel L. Jackson in Deep Blue Sea.  I'm not the sort to look at someone and assume they're going to be an abusive husband - I've liked most of the other fundie boyfriends/husbands we've seen.  But Ben just gives me such a case of the creeps, coupled with that "I'm always right" mentality and the total inability to laugh at himself...just seems like a really bad combination.

[RazzleberryPie]

That's totally a pawn shop ring. 

[rainsunmoonshine]

Bin is being immature. I enjoy learning about what others believe in and I have never felt my own beliefs threatened because of it. You miss out on too many friendships and great conversations when you cut yourself off from other viewpoints. 

 

Save the indignation for people who name their kid Summer when their birthday is in December. ;-)

Sorry I know this is from eons ago in the thread but I've joined recently and just reading through and couldn't let this slide...some of us have summer in December! I'm from Perth, Australia. :-)

 

 

That's assuming what we see on screen is real rather than staged. It doesn't make sense, does it, for JB to say on one hand that he introduced Derick and Jill because he thought they'd be a great match, but then hesitate when Derick asks for permission to court?

I think it is to place emphasis on the seriousness of courting.

 

 

This thinking sadly isn't to far off in the real world at least in mine. I've lost count how many people who marry in their twenties and can't figure out why people reach their thirties still single.

This is true, but perhaps not always for a bad reason. I was comparatively young at just turned 26 (in that we were the first engaged and either the first couple to get married or one of the first couples in our social circles) and now (at just under three months off 28) I don't understand why so many of my friends are single- but only because they're great people, who deserve all the love and companionship in the world!!

[BitterApple]

That's totally a pawn shop ring. 

Lol, that's what everyone is saying! That band is way too nicked up for it to be fresh out of the jewelers. If Bin had half a brain, he would have had the diamond reset before giving it to Jessa.

[WTFFF]

I wouldn't be surprised if it was secondhand, since that's the Duggar way, but with gold that soft and a ring that itself doesn't look like very well-made quality, I also wouldn't be shocked to learn that it was new and Jessa was just being careless with it. 

[andromeda331]

I wouldn't be surprised if it was secondhand, since that's the Duggar way, but with gold that soft and a ring that itself doesn't look like very well-made quality, I also wouldn't be shocked to learn that it was new and Jessa was just being careless with it.

 

 

I wouldn't be surprised by either. Secondhand is the norm for the Duggars, but they've also shown a total disregard of taking care of pretty much anything.  

[rainsunmoonshine]

I'm Australian and I think it is pretty common for both engagement and wedding rings to be 18k gold. Mine and my husbands are!

[WTFFF]

 

I wouldn't be surprised by either. Secondhand is the norm for the Duggars, but they've also shown a total disregard of taking care of pretty much anything.

 

Yup.  They freaking destroyed an entire house in just a few months; a soft gold ring getting damaged in a few weeks is probably just as inconsequential in their minds.  I know things are just things, but if I were Ben I'd be annoyed if his future wife is being that careless with the symbol of their love and devotion.