Jessa, Ben and Their Brood: Making a (Diaper) Mountain out of a Mold House

[queenanne]

Aw, I give thumbs-up to Baby Dear.  That's how you do something charmingly old-fashioned.

[Sew Sumi]

Spurgeon 

Spurgeon

Spurgeon 

 

Nope, still sound stupid. I guess it is classic Benessa to chose a name that isn't even in the baby-book.  I can't believe that this whole time they were trying to decide on a middle name.

They weren't. Famy admitted on IG tonight that she wanted to tell the name "right after he was born," but deferred to the parents to break the (unfortunate) news. 

 

So yeah, this was all manufactured bullshit. 

[Guest]

They weren't. Famy admitted on IG tonight that she wanted to tell the name "right after he was born," but deferred to the parents to break the (unfortunate) news. 

 

So yeah, this was all manufactured bullshit. 

 

LOL! Leave it to Famy to (ironically) out Ben and Jeesa as the bigger fame whores. 

[Sew Sumi]

I'm guessing the first girl gets saddled with Temperance. I'm putting dibs on this one now! LOL

 

I fully expect future boys to be named Calvin, Knox, and Triumph. I'm sticking with Virtue names for the girls, but wouldn't be surprised to see Corrie sneak in there. 

 

These are good old-fashioned Vision Forum naming trends, not Gothard, whose names tend to be more blblical. 

Edited November 12, 2015 by Sew Sumi

[BrianJ62]

I'm guessing the first girl gets saddled with Temperance. I'm putting dibs on this one now! LOL

I fully expect future boys to be named Calvin, Knox, and Triumph. I'm sticking with Virtue names for the girls, but wouldn't be surprised to see Corrie sneak in there.

These are good old-fashioned Vision Forum naming trends, not Gothard, whose names tend to be more blblical.

So Temptation is not a good name for the first baby girl?

[JoanArc]

 

spuurrr Jin

 

Spurjin. Wanna bet that's how it's spelled on the birth certificate?

 

They'll be calling him Elliot inside of a year.

[sometimesy]

I hope it's a hoax. It won't be funny, but it will be a relief to find out his real name.

[Hpmec]

Wow, they scraped the bottom of the name barrel to come up with Spurgeon. It's cruel to give a child a name that is so ripe for ridicule. True, he will never have to fend off bullies at school taunting him with "Spurgeon's a virgin." But he will be at the mercy of cousins, family friends ' kids, and kids at fundie camp and conferences who won't be able to help themselves.

Jessa and Bin truly could not have done much worse. I hope for the little guy's sake that he insists they call him Elliott or Quincy or just plain Seewald. Anything but Spurgeon. When he's old enough to realize that he's been saddled with a hideously sucky name, he's going to resent the hell out of them.

Edited November 12, 2015 by Hpmec

[BrianJ62]

Hopefully Lip *hit Seewald is never used.

[HundFan]

The kid's nickname will no doubt be Spurge. I looked it up in my personal dictionary and here's what I got: Spurge, verb from the ancient Arkansas cult Minimus Brainius.  Meaning: to ejaculate, explosively and without warning, most often on already sticky sheets in your shared dormitory bedroom. Can also be used as a noun to mean the bright color in facial cheeks resulting from deep embarrassment when siblings sharing the same bed notice your sudden spurge.

[Almost 3000]

The kid's nickname will no doubt be Spurge. I looked it up in my personal dictionary and here's what I got: Spurge, verb from the ancient Arkansas cult Minimus Brainius.  Meaning: to ejaculate, explosively and without warning, most often on already sticky sheets in your shared dormitory bedroom. Can also be used as a noun to mean the bright color in facial cheeks resulting from deep embarrassment when siblings sharing the same bed notice your sudden spurge.

For shits and giggles you should submit that to the Urban Dictionary.

[KittyS]

Worst. Name. Ever.

I can't believe they would saddle a kid with a name like that. Clearly they're going for The Most Devout Baby Name prize. It actually makes me appreciate the name Israel / Iz.

New thread title: Two Former Virgins and Their Boy Spurgeon

[Temperance]

I'm guessing the first girl gets saddled with Temperance. I'm putting dibs on this one now! LOL

 

I fully expect future boys to be named Calvin, Knox, and Triumph. I'm sticking with Virtue names for the girls, but wouldn't be surprised to see Corrie sneak in there. 

 

These are good old-fashioned Vision Forum naming trends, not Gothard, whose names tend to be more blblical. 

To be fair it's not exactly my real name, but what's wrong with Temperance? ;)

 

Also will Corrie be short for Corinthians?

 

I like both Temperance and Gabriel. 

I haven't this disappointed with celebrity naming babies, since North West was born. WT..

Actually it's funny I said wtf and then made a Jessa Pout face without thinking about it. (As seen in like every selfie she's ever taken)

They could have gone with just about anything else and I would have defended it. I will surnames are trend, but generally they're sleeker cuter ones like Taylor. 

I will say hot kids can pull off anything so maybe that was what Benessa was thinking. As for Preacher names, the only 19th century I remember hearing about is Lyman Beecher (Harriet Beecher Stowe's father). Are they going to stick with old-fashioned and modern Preacher names? Somebody has said Jessa could end up like Tammy Faye Baker, so Baker for another one?

Also I will say at least they didn't name it Gothard. I hope they never get to that one. Also at least Elliott is nice middle name. 

I also wish they had just gone with Quincy. I don't get the whole pregnancy name then real name thing. (I had a friend who did it.) 

The first girl will be Modest Seewald. It did seem like Jess had her eyes on an M name. (Although in one post I picked Zelah for a girl. No final answer.)

I also wonder if Gabriel was the name Jessica picked for her nephew and maybe her first-born son. Wouldn't surprise me. 

Spurgeon is cute. Still making a Jessa pout about the name. 

Edited November 12, 2015 by Temperance

[SinInTheCamp]

Aimee Semple for a girl? ;)

 

They'd probably go for Aimee's last name, McPherson, seeing as how they've gravitated toward choosing the most gawd-awful last name they could think of for a first name. Of course, they could possibly go for Semple as a baby girl's first name, in honor of poor, simple Michelle.

[BrianJ62]

The kid's nickname will no doubt be Spurge. I looked it up in my personal dictionary and here's what I got: Spurge, verb from the ancient Arkansas cult Minimus Brainius. Meaning: to ejaculate, explosively and without warning, most often on already sticky sheets in your shared dormitory bedroom. Can also be used as a noun to mean the bright color in facial cheeks resulting from deep embarrassment when siblings sharing the same bed notice your sudden spurge.

They all suffer from cranial *ectal inversion, and they are all pneumo cephalics.

[iwadrade]

All the leghumpers love the name... What in the F is going on? I am so confused. It's just awful. It's an awful, awful name. I keep saying Spurgeon the Surgeon every time I read this name. You can get used to any name, but it still doesn't make it good. 

[iwadrade]

I guess they really were looking for input when they asked fans what to name their baby....Next time use the most popular name on the list... do not go with your instincts Seewalds. 

[Tunia]

Oh my...such a dangerous precedent Benessa is setting.  One must be so careful when naming the spawn after a hero/mentor.  Just think how many of them fall from grace or are disparaged long after their death, and that just leaves Unfortunate Seewald hanging in embarrassment.  To wit, just imagine Gothard Seewald, Bakker Seewald, Swaggart Seewald, Haggard Seewald or Jeffs Seewald!

 

Let's hope for their sake that Spurgeon and Elliott remain above reproach!

[kokapetl]

Spurgeon. I just can't get over how awful the name is.

I guess the pool house is the new filming shed/"guesthouse"/counseling corner.

Edited November 12, 2015 by Kokapetl

[SometimesBites]

The video doesn't play for me. Is that seriously his name: Spurgeon Elliot Seewald -- maybe I'm just out of step with today's naming trends, but I think Brown Towel Seewald was a little better. If course he won't have to worry about being mocked on the playground since he will never go to school, but it's a little sad.

 

ETA: I found this little nugget on-line which makes it a bit clearer for me:

 

Charles Haddon Spurgeon was a British Particular Baptist preacher. Spurgeon remains highly influential among Christians of different denominations, among whom he is known as the "Prince of Preachers".

As I noted earlier today, Spurgeon is Ben's favorite preacher. He quotes the guy all the time. 

 

(corrected my Spurgeon typo, which many people will probably make with autocorrect!)

Oh my god, I wander away from this board for a couple of days and come back to read that these two nitwits have chosen to name their son SPURGEON. I don't give a damn how much you idolize a nineteenth century evangelist--use your fucking head! Some last names absolutely do not work as first names...period. What is Ben going to do--have the poor kid wear a little explanatory placard around his neck so people can figure out the bizarre name?

It's a completely selfish choice on their part. They could have named him CHARLES, for crying out loud, but I'm sure that these two dim bulbs think Spurgeon sound dignified and sophisticated. It's truly awful.

[Purpose to defraud]

So Temptation is not a good name for the first baby girl?

With a name like Temptation, it will be the little girl's own fault if she gets molested. 

[Purpose to defraud]

Or "South East Seewald," since that's their neck of the woods. Using the opposite direction demonstrates how much more godly they are then the Kardashians in the righteous path to God's Country (Arkansas) they have chosen to take. The alliteration works too.

Ah, but God is UP in heaven.

South is the devil's direction.

[Defrauder]

I wake up to find out they named little Brown Towel Sham Wow $$$ - Spurgeon?  No way.  If Ben's sister leaking his real name Gabriel out had anything to do with this I'll never forgive her.

[GeeGolly]

The name has left me with the inability to think.

[Defrauder]

Since Ben is all about Spurgeon, Charles, then it looks like he is taking over the role as head of the household and authority in naming the baby.  Maybe Jessa had to fight for Elliott as a middle name.  

No wonder they didn't want to release his name, they don't even like it.

[Gweilo]

...And they'll have to say his name in front of their church congregation when they baptise him.  There will be lots of people at Spurgeon's submersion.

[Purpose to defraud]

I wake up to find out they named little Brown Towel Sham Wow $$$ - Spurgeon?  No way.  If Ben's sister leaking his real name Gabriel out had anything to do with this I'll never forgive her.

Neither will he!

[Panopticon]

To be fair it's not exactly my real name, but what's wrong with Temperance? ;)

 

 

Hee! I hope the next baby is Temperance, because that would make me think of the over-educated militant atheist/scientist Temperance Brennan on Bones every time I saw it. And then I would laugh.

[DoctorWhovian]

How angry would you be if you found out your in-utero nickname is Quincy... but your name is Spurgeon?

 

At what age are we betting little Spurge will .... purge.... his name and go by Elliot? 

[kokapetl]

Spurgeon sounds like the name of an 19th century railway baron.

[GeeGolly]

This might start a leg humper trend,

[Defrauder]

To think I actually thought that their finally naming him would spoil our fun.  How wrong can you be?

[Ownedbydogs]

All I could think of was sturgeon the fish.  Hey Fishface bring your blanket over here.  Poor Poor Child!  I am glad he will never have to set foot in public school.

Edited November 12, 2015 by Ownedbydogs

[lookeyloo]

They believe their presence mingling is charity ish. They believe getting love offerings from people is because they are gawdly. There is a huge disconnect. Unless a camera is rolling and comments/message boards notice, then there is a staged TLC charity event. Which may have been filmed and was rumoured to be a failure. How the hell do you fail at charity when you have experienced it your entire life is beyond me. Jessa and Ben don't even pretend to be charitable. They are probably pissed off that they didn't get the TV interviews and baby registries to go with the 19 kids and counting.

Exactly!  They think they are "all that".  They are none of that.  Uneducated people who think they are better than anyone else - and lots of the anyone elses are doing something productive with their lives and raising educated children.  It is so screwed up!!  Arrggghhh.

[cdp73]

As if this poor child didn't have enough obstacles in life to overcome just by being born into this family...

[Kellyee]

 

Spurgeon. I just can't get over how awful the name is.

 

And just like that, North West and Rainbow don't seem so bad.

[Buggin]

With a name like Spurgeon you're just asking the kid to rebel when he's older. No one wants to be Spurgeon the Virgin.

I thought my BIL and SIL dove into the depths of the Bible to find the worst names possible for their kids but Jessa and Ben have taught me I was wrong, so very wrong.

[Albanyguy]

They're getting exactly what they wanted with this stupid name...attention. If they named the baby "Bill" or "Charlie", the world would have shrugged and moved on. With "Spurgeon", there'll be days of media hits. Doesn't matter if it's haters like us saying "WTF?!?!" or leghumpers cooing "What a neat, precious, awesome, Godly name!". It's still attention and they need it like oxygen.

[Vaysh]

I don't know what made me laugh harder, the name SPURGEON (seriously?) or y'all with the comments, but I'm wheezing here.

 

And as others have said, this is definitely an attempt to be holier-than-Jill and her Israel by naming their kid after some obscure preacher*. And not by using said obscure preacher's normal first name but his totally unsuitable for a first name, surname. Just to make sure everyone knows who they named him after. LOOK HOW RELIGIOUS WE ARE!

 

 

*Ok, I don't actually know how obscure he is really. I've never heard of him before but then again I'm a heathen.

[whydoiwatch]

That Bin, he is a bright one, huh? Bin saying the baby would have that name the rest of his life - WOW - how profound.

Their announcement of the baby's name was odd. Bin is barely articulate and combined with his holier than thou, better than you attitude he comes off as a real jerk.

The baby is cute. It is sad he has been saddled with such a horrendous moniker by his self centered, idiot parents.

Edited November 12, 2015 by whydoiwatch

[Defrauder]

Someone asked Jessa on her facebook if he will go by Spurgeon or Elliott and she said:

 

both, but everybody still calls him Quincy.

[Churchhoney]

I've been hoping that Anna is running the SOTDRT   for all the littles.

Yeah,

 I'm of two minds about this. For the kids' sake, probably yeah. But when I think of everything Anna's going through, the idea of her being Jim Bob and Michelle's slave in any way makes me sick. And "teaching" that school can't be a picnic, since at least some of the kids have to have picked up their parents' strong attitude of contempt for education. So I keep thinking of poor old Anna, who has to be in a severe state of ego depletion, stuck doing her horrible in-laws' job, in a situation that they've inevitably poisoned and made even harder than it should be. And teaching a one-room schoolhouse is gonna be hard in the best of situations, particularly for somebody whose only actual education and "training" seems to have been online instruction in getting preschoolers to sit still for bible studies. And I don't know that anybody in the family has any respect for her, which would also make it harder. REspect for Anna has certainly not been modeled.

Edited November 12, 2015 by Churchhoney

[Almost 3000]

Yeah,

 I'm of two minds about this. For the kids' sake, probably yeah. But when I think of everything Anna's going through, the idea of her being Jim Bob and Michelle's slave in any way makes me sick. And "teaching" that school can't be a picnic, since at least some of the kids have to have picked up their parents' strong attitude of contempt for education. So I keep thinking of poor old Anna, who has to be in a severe state of ego depletion, stuck doing her horrible in-laws' job, in a situation that they've inevitably poisoned and made even harder than it should be. And teaching a one-room schoolhouse is gonna be hard in the best of situations, particularly for somebody whose only actual education and "training" seems to have been online instruction in getting preschoolers to sit still for bible studies. And I don't know that anybody in the family has any respect for her, which would also make it harder. REspect for Anna has certainly not been modeled.

Good points.

[Purpose to defraud]

And just like that, North West and Rainbow don't seem so bad.

Apple still seems bad.

[Oldernowiser]

From Wiki...

"Most sturgeons are anadromous bottom-feeders which migrate upstream to spawn .... Sturgeons are broadcast spawners."

Yep, sounds right.

[Defrauder]

Someone posted the Urban Dictionary definition of Spurgeon on Jessa's facebook:

 

A beer guzzling, bacon frying, big dick swinging bad ass motherfucker. Someone you really want to have on your side when the shit hits the fan.  Someone you'd let nail your old lady just for the story.  A man that makes Chuck Norris tremble just hearing his name.  Someone that seeps testosterone out of every pore of his body. Spurgeon the man of all men.

[Churchhoney]

It took a while for the video to load.  I believe Bin referenced missionaries by the name of Elliot.  Jim and Elizabeth, I think?  Something about missionaries in South America.

 

Oh, my gosh. I'm shocked. It's almost as if they've been reading. (although I'm sure they haven't, except sermons that they don't understand). Anybody remember the kid in Anne of Green Gables named Moody Spurgeon Macpherson? He was certainly named after Charles Spurgeon and, probably, Moody of the Bible Institute. He became a Presbyterian minister and his name was kind of a joke through every book of the series he appeared in. Lucy Maud Montgomery clearly knew that you could get a laugh every time just by mentioning a kid named Moody Spurgeon.

 

I still like Resurrection Special Seewald.   (and his father -- Bin "My Pretension and Lack of Judgment Know No Bounds" Seewald)

Edited November 12, 2015 by Churchhoney

[Defrauder]

I feel sorry for Spurgeon.  Well I guess that's what we'll have to call him now.

[Kellyee]

 

Someone asked Jessa on her facebook if he will go by Spurgeon or Elliott and she said:

 

both, but everybody still calls him Quincy.

Quincy would have been a cute but uncommon name. They should have gone with Quincy. But maybe Jessa also liked Jubilee as a name.

[Emme]

Or his all-time favorite, Charles Spurgeon Seewald. Ugh.

Sew Sumi - amazing powers you have...

Ugh. Why couldn't they have gone with Charles, or relegated Spurgeon to middle?