Commercials That Annoy, Irritate or Outright Enrage

[Ubiquitous]

Those "Don't touch my Dart" ads aren't as bad if you replace "dart" with "dick".

[heebiejeebie]

Or do the add-on "while having sex" game.

[Bruinsfan]

All they do for me is reinforce the impression that Jake Johnson is someone I'd want to punch out within moments of meeting him in person.

[Brattinella]

And how the HELL can you move to the Pacific Northwest and not KNOW rain will be involved? Yeesh.

[DeLurker]

 

There's this other annoying ad where this woman is unloading her dishwasher and her plate is so clean, she sees her reflection and realizes she has a moustache. THen her husband/boyfriend walks in and she hides behind the plate. First of all, if you have a moustache, either it's not noticeable, or he's already seen it, or he's like my husband and doesn't notice until you point it out. And secondly, not that I don't think blonde people can have noticeable moustaches, but I think I'd have more sympathy for her if she had dark hair.

I just assume she's a bottle blonde.

[xls]

Those "Don't touch my Dart" ads aren't as bad if you replace "dart" with "dick".

I kind of like them but the car looks way too small for the owner.

Can't we convince him and Jenny McCarthy to go preach the evils of immunization in some place where cholera or yellow fever are rampant?

She should see the results of vaccines not being available firsthand.

[Stella MD]

That grown-ass lazy idiot who needs his mother's help to get the damn ham sandwich that is literally two feet away from his lazy hands needs to have his ass kicked. My mother would have dumped that sandwich straight into the garbage just to prove a point.

[Jamoche]

The Haagen-Daz ad with voiceovers saying individual syllables that don't seem to add up to actual words always has me hitting the mute. Just noticed the tagline this time: "even the names sound good". No, not the way you're saying them.

[Sandman87]

Can't we convince him and Jenny McCarthy to go preach the evils of immunization in some place where cholera or yellow fever are rampant?

Maybe we need a "Things I Learned on Previously TV" thread, because I was completely unaware of her involvement in the anti-vaccination thing until just now. Clearly the movie Witless Protection refers to the need to protect our children from her.

[Ubiquitous]

I keep meaning to mention this one but forget. There's a "family values" ad that annoys the snot out of me which takes place in Smalltown USA at a town hall meeting or something witb the two diametrically opposed politicians having a heated argument about something that escaplates to the one screeching "Over my dead body!", eliciting gasps from the attendees, after which this cute precocious little girl pipes outloud about them needing a "time out", prompting everyone to get all pensive and deep soul-searching. This ad pisses me off b/c in real life, everyone would laugh at this child's stupid statement, the tension would be broken, and they would move on, NOT enter a motion to be given a "time out"!

[Stella MD]

The Haagen-Daz ad with voiceovers saying individual syllables that don't seem to add up to actual words always has me hitting the mute. Just noticed the tagline this time: "even the names sound good". No, not the way you're saying them.

This! It sounds like they're mid-climax, which doesn't really make me crave any fancy ice cream. I'm reminded of that Seinfeld episode where George Costanza started bringing food to bed and then found himself turned on by pastrami.

[Ubiquitous]

Not that there's anything wrong with that!

[Cobalt Stargazer]

This! It sounds like they're mid-climax, which doesn't really make me crave any fancy ice cream. I'm reminded of that Seinfeld episode where George Costanza started bringing food to bed and then found himself turned on by pastrami.

 

I wonder if that's what started the trend of various fast food places trying to get us to have sex with burgers. someone who isn't me.

[pandora spocks]

The Progressive Insurance ads with the talking box make me yearn for the days of Flo.  I guess it's the pomposity of the voice over that makes me want to drive nails into my eardrums.  Don't get me started on the Arthur Tweedy character for PUR filters.  My fingers quickly find the mute button when Tweedy starts railing about water purity.

[Brattinella]

Eww, the Smarmy Talking Box!  "Muh-LADY".  YUCK!

[Bastet]

I'm reminded of that Seinfeld episode where George Costanza started bringing food to bed and then found himself turned on by pastrami.

 

Well, it is the most sensual of all cured meats.

[SoSueMe]

Eww, the Smarmy Talking Box!  "Muh-LADY".  YUCK!

That talking box is icky. I used to be annoyed by the Flo commercials and I still am by some of them. I have to admit though that the whole surreal alternate reality thing has grown on me, what will they do next.

[RedZoneTuba]

The Surface Pro 3 commercial that they show every break of every sports program the last few days, with the techno-pop "music" that consists of (as near as I can tell):

Make a che, chala da

[Repeat in exact same annoying way 58 times]

 

It's the musical equivalent of a stuck key repeating endlessly, which I don't think is athe best advertisement for your tablet/keyboard mash up, Microsoft.

[Brattinella]

Yep.  I don't know what the HELL that "music" is, I just know I hate it.

[Watcher0363]

I wonder if that's what started the trend of various fast food places trying to get us to have sex with burgers. someone who isn't me.

Cue Marcy's Playground "Sex and Hamburgers"

 

Hangin' round downtown

By myself

And I had so much time

To sit and think

About myself

And then there she was

Like double cheese with bacon

Yeah there she was

Like chili cheese fries

I smell sex and

Hamburgers here.......

[Stella MD]

The Surface Pro music is a Korean pop song, hence the lack of English. 'Gagnam Style' and now this - they're 0 for 2.

Nothing beats the Fiat music for sheer annoyingness though. Between the staccato music and the jerky movements in the commercials, I'm surprised it doesn't induce seizures.

[zillabreeze]

When it comes to awful commercial music - anything for JG Wentworth is TV shootin' worthy!  I despised the "opera-ish" bad enough, but now they are doing some faux rock musical attempt.  PLEASE get off my screen and steal peoples money in silence!

[heebiejeebie]

Any ad that features Peyton Manning.  In particular the Papa john's ad.  I wish someone would at least slap a hat on him.  Sure his personality is that of a walking 'nad, but he coudl at least do something about having a head like an old man's penis.

[riley702]

Heh. I always thought it looked like a potato, myself.

[CarpeDiem54]

OMG!!! You people are my heros. I've laughed so hard that pee happened.

My current personal most hated commercials are for diabetic nerve pain meds and those ambulance chaser ads for when you've shoved some ADHD meds down your little boy's throat and now he's grown boobs.

Oh, and the Acorn chairs that haul your old ass up the stairs. All of these people apparently live alone, in a huge multi-story house. So move to a one story place already!

[RealityGal]

When it comes to awful commercial music - anything for JG Wentworth is TV shootin' worthy!  I despised the "opera-ish" bad enough, but now they are doing some faux rock musical attempt.  PLEASE get off my screen and steal peoples money in silence!

 

Ugh, JG Wentworth is the worst!  That fucking opera was in my head for weeks.  I won't lie though, if I have an annuity, and I need the money right now, I'm probably calling JG Wentworth.  Although, was it me, or did most of the people on that bus not seem to be the type to have a sweet annuity worth a payout?  I know, I'm profiling :(

 

OMG!!! You people are my heros. I've laughed so hard that pee happened.

Oh, and the Acorn chairs that haul your old ass up the stairs. All of these people apparently live alone, in a huge multi-story house. So move to a one story place already!

 

While those chairs look like fun, you're right, it is a little confusing why people with mobility issues want to live in a 2 story, 4 bedroom house.  I mean at some point whatever power source is used for the chair could fail, and that sounds like it could become problematic.

[Prevailing Wind]

Nobody's building one-story homes anymore.  They are *very* difficult to find.  And an older home is going to have all sorts of maintenance issues a geriatric won't be able to deal with.  Those folks in the Acorn chairs probably can't afford to leave their paid-for homes.

[CarpeDiem54]

Hmmm. I must live in Boomer Heaven. Here one story homes are popular or there are scads of them with first floor master suites. And there are many communities for the over 50 crowd. But, I agree, if you live in a part of the country where homes aren't selling, you may be stuck. However, I don't need to hear about the Acorn 4,000 times a day.

I almost shot my TV last night. There's an Eggo commercial showing eleventy billion kinds of shit to put on them accompanied by some horrible frantic "music".

[Lola16]

MasterCard is officially on The List. Has anyone seen their commercial with the children lisping about how they just want their parents to take them on more vacations. After all, they get paid vacation days. Can someone please explain to those kids that even if you're still getting paid for that day, the tickets to various other states/countries/vacation events are not cheap and will often cost more than one single day of work. I know kids are self-centered and don't understand the various complexities of the world, but MasterCard's thinly veiled message to put it all on your credit card really bothers me, considering the realities of credit card debt, fees, and the shady crap that credit card companies pull on the regular.

Gah.  Haven't seen that one yet.  My very first job, we actually did get paid to go on vacation.  We got an extra check if we took out vacation.  I only got 1 week off but since I took those 5 days, I got paid for 10.  Spoiled me for every job after that!

[RealityGal]

Nobody's building one-story homes anymore.  They are *very* difficult to find.  And an older home is going to have all sorts of maintenance issues a geriatric won't be able to deal with.  Those folks in the Acorn chairs probably can't afford to leave their paid-for homes.

 

I have a one story house, but the house was remodelled on the inside before I moved in.  A home that is already paid for of course, has its advantages.  But I can't imagine how a smaller, one story home would be a financial loser if you sold off the bigger house to a family.  Especially with the maintenence/upkeep.  A woman I know in my position (single, no kids) has a two story, four bedroom house.  The cost of upkeep alone is way more than my house.  But if you have mobility issues, and can't sell your house, the Acorn is the way to go!

 

Hmmm. I must live in Boomer Heaven. Here one story homes are popular or there are scads of them with first floor master suites. And there are many communities for the over 50 crowd. But, I agree, if you live in a part of the country where homes aren't selling, you may be stuck. However, I don't need to hear about the Acorn 4,000 times a day.

I almost shot my TV last night. There's an Eggo commercial showing eleventy billion kinds of shit to put on them accompanied by some horrible frantic "music".

That Eggo commercial sounds awful, let me see if I can find it.

http://youtu.be/Vz3RW7IhsLg

 

The first time, it was okay, the second time I was annoyed, two more times, and I too would want to shoot at my TV.  Although, to be fair, I had never thought of Nutella on an Eggo, and that sounds tasty as hell

[slensam]

There's a commercial with a bunch of "adult" women screaming until glass breaks over a phone or something like teenage girls. Maturity and sophistication has really gone out the window.

[Stella MD]

It's the new Sprint commercial now that they've disbanded the Framily - guess the redheaded mom has left the talking hamster and is now a shrieky single with a bunch of annoying girlfriends. I miss GorDON.

[xaxat]

This Subaru ad annoys me because their "Woodstock NY" is so clearly not Woodstock NY (or Bethel NY).

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1LwCLHwBHjM

 

No wonder Grandma can't find her tree. She's in freakin' California!

Edited September 29, 2014 by xaxat

[riley702]

Oh, and the Acorn chairs that haul your old ass up the stairs. All of these people apparently live alone, in a huge multi-story house. So move to a one story place already!

You guys have already pointed out the pros/cons of an older house with stairs. But what really bugs me about that commercial is when the old guy says, "It's definitely more affordable than moving!" Well, I would hope so! It just made me wonder how much those suckers cost, since old guy is comparing the price of the lift with the cost of buying a new house. Probably not the take-away they were hoping for.

Edited September 29, 2014 by riley702

[friendperidot]

re: kids wanting their parents to take more vacation time because it's paid, the last 2 places I worked, same field, one for profit, the other not for profit, time off was no real vacation, staffing was so short that you had to work an 80 hr week before time off, other staff had to cover the emergency stuff on your load and they worked 80 hour weeks while you were off, then an 80 hour week to catch back up when you returned and usually a co-worker was taking time off when you got back & you had to cover their job. It was allowed but you were made to feel horribly guilty by upper management. I was let go because of budget cuts, and figured I was retired because at 62 there were no jobs. So the kids complaining have no clue what it's like it the real world in America.

[RealityGal]

re: kids wanting their parents to take more vacation time because it's paid, the last 2 places I worked, same field, one for profit, the other not for profit, time off was no real vacation, staffing was so short that you had to work an 80 hr week before time off, other staff had to cover the emergency stuff on your load and they worked 80 hour weeks while you were off, then an 80 hour week to catch back up when you returned and usually a co-worker was taking time off when you got back & you had to cover their job. It was allowed but you were made to feel horribly guilty by upper management. I was let go because of budget cuts, and figured I was retired because at 62 there were no jobs. So the kids complaining have no clue what it's like it the real world in America.

I hate that that is what the standard workplace has become in America.  I don't think your situation is entirely unique at all.  When I was a claims adjustor it was always that way and it stressed me out so much it would make me ill.  Coming back from a vacation just meant I had shitloads of work to come back to.  There was too much work and too few people, and no one seemed much inclined to remedy the situation.  I love America, but somehow in a lot of other countries they seem to get a solid 6 weeks of vacation and their economies aren't all falling down around them.

[backformore]

Right, I work at a place with a productivity target. Because I've been around a while, I get more vacation than most co-workers. But if I take all my vacation, I cannot reach the target. So I end up forfeiting vacation days.

There's a commercial with a bunch of "adult" women screaming until glass breaks over a phone or something like teenage girls. Maturity and sophistication has really gone out the window.

That's my least favorite right now. I'm a grown woman who has never shrieked, and never will.

My runner up for least favorite is the women shoe shopping who finally find the right price at Marshalls. Yeah, I'm going to spend an entire weekend chasing down a particular pair of shoes! Because women are that shallow.

[tanyak]

It's the new Sprint commercial now that they've disbanded the Framily - guess the redheaded mom has left the talking hamster and is now a shrieky single with a bunch of annoying girlfriends. I miss GorDON.

 

Yeah, it's weird that they kept the same actress. I keep expecting her kids to pop up. The hamster can stay away. 

[RealityGal]

Right, I work at a place with a productivity target. Because I've been around a while, I get more vacation than most co-workers. But if I take all my vacation, I cannot reach the target. So I end up forfeiting vacation days.

That's my least favorite right now. I'm a grown woman who has never shrieked, and never will.

My runner up for least favorite is the women shoe shopping who finally find the right price at Marshalls. Yeah, I'm going to spend an entire weekend chasing down a particular pair of shoes! Because women are that shallow.

Well....this woman is that shallow.  But seriously, if I'm on a shoe chase, its not going to include a Marshalls.  Because, I'm just gonna say it.  The shoes they carry are fucking ugly.  There, I said it.  And yeah, its just my opinion, and I know I'm stating my opinion like a gospel fact, and I know thats an asshole move.  But its just true.  The shoes there are truly the leftovers that no one can sell anywhere else.  So, Marshalls can go suck it, even when I go to their stores that they claim are "shoe paradises, or shoe megastores or whatever" I'm bowled over by how truly unattractive the shoes are.  If you're dying for a shoe go to DSW or Off Broadway shoes or even Nordstrom Rack (although lately...meh).  If you're dying for designer shoes just use the internet (beware of paying full price for knockoffs, but 6pm.com, Zappos, Shoebuy, and generally most Amazon retailers).  Marshall's prices on their shitty shoes aren't even that great.

[Cobalt Stargazer]

There's a commercial with a bunch of "adult" women screaming until glass breaks over a phone or something like teenage girls. Maturity and sophistication has really gone out the window.

 

Normally that's exactly the kind of thing I hate in commercials, but I like that one. I don't know what it says about me that I'd rather see women shrieking about a phone than bitching about somebody looking at their yogurt, but there you go.

[Ubiquitous]

The latest "Truth" anti-smoking ad makes me wonder what they are smoking.

 

Firstly, they tell us not to post selfies that have been taken while we are smoking (because it would be free advertising for the tobacco companies), then they show us a bunch of pictures of people smoking. So it's a case of "Don't do it, and we're going to do it right now." Yeah, that'll show 'em!

 

Secondly, they play some cool sounding music during the ad, as if they were trying to make smoking look cool by giving the pictures a nifty soundtrack.

 

Now I'm kind of tempted to go find some pictures of people who are smoking so I can repost them.

This ad totally pisses me off because they also make the ridiculous claim that "this generation will end smoking", except the gubberment subsidizes tobacco farmers.

[Muffyn]

The current Hot Designs Nail Art commercial that is currently airing is driving me crazy. All the hands in the commercial have short uneven nails, & you can see the polish on their cuticles. Why wouldn't they use people with nice nails & get a manicurist to do the polish? It's really sloppy.

I am so glad someone else noticed that.  I was a hand model (cue jokes from Seinfeld episode).  The nails in that ad are embarrassing.  Use our product when you have someone with uncontrolled spasmodic muscle movements paint your nails. They'll be as pretty as the ones we're showing you.   

 

While those chairs look like fun, you're right, it is a little confusing why people with mobility issues want to live in a 2 story, 4 bedroom house.  I mean at some point whatever power source is used for the chair could fail, and that sounds like it could become problematic.

In the zombie apocalypse I plan to hole up in one of those houses.  I'll use the chair as part of my sweet blockade for the second story.  What?  Others aren't doing this kind of planning?  

[RealityGal]

I am so glad someone else noticed that.  I was a hand model (cue jokes from Seinfeld episode).  The nails in that ad are embarrassing.  Use our product when you have someone with uncontrolled spasmodic muscle movements paint your nails. They'll be as pretty as the ones we're showing you.   

 

In the zombie apocalypse I plan to hole up in one of those houses.  I'll use the chair as part of my sweet blockade for the second story.  What?  Others aren't doing this kind of planning?  

 

Thus far my plan has been to give myself up to the zombies early, and hope to earn a good position in the new zombie government.  But I like your plan better!

[friendperidot]

I watch too much late night tv. California Psychs - best psychic reading I have ever had, they knew exactly what I should do and who I should be with for the rest of my life - I've never had a psychic reading, ever. But several years ago I had a satellite receiver installed, the guy doing the installation said his wife was a phone psychic, had just started, was not psychic in the least but was given a script. I think of this every time one of those ads is on.

 

Farmers Only.Com - "city folks just don't get it", we get it, we just choose not to live there. I spent time in the country as a child, had zero interest then, have zero interest now. And I do not live in a big city.

[mmecorday]

 

In the zombie apocalypse I plan to hole up in one of those houses.  I'll use the chair as part of my sweet blockade for the second story.  What?  Others aren't doing this kind of planning?

Of course! I don't intend to be caught unawares when the dead feed on the living! Number one on my ZA agenda is finding a guy who rides a motorcycle and knows how to use a crossbow.

 

I cannot wait for "Annabelle" to be released. Not that I want to see it, I just want the commercials to go away.

[Mdmke80]

Glad I found this thread! I love to hate bad commercials... If that makes sense. Just a few I thought of..

The pushy lady in a purple shirt talking to random strangers about their gas and constipation problems.

The old guy hawking that upside-down exercise machine. But that half assed jump at the end was pretty funny.

Every over-the-top deodorant commercial, including the new Old Spice commercials with the creepy android.

Annoying Framily plan commercials. Andrew Dice Clay as a hamster... Enough said.

Acne commercials being hawked by celebrities with perfect skin.

Bill Cowher for TWC, possibly the worst ad campaign ever.

Craig Robinson for Dodge Dart, he has the energy and personality of a soiled doormat.

Those Off the top of my head for now...

[Brattinella]

Anti-aging commercials featuring young women with perfect skin.

[RealityGal]

Glad I found this thread! I love to hate bad commercials... If that makes sense. Just a few I thought of..

The pushy lady in a purple shirt talking to random strangers about their gas and constipation problems.

The old guy hawking that upside-down exercise machine. But that half assed jump at the end was pretty funny.

 

So, is he 72 or what?  Who says they are "over an age" and that age doesn't end in a 0 or a 5?  I wonder if he just improved that jump...it does not look planned. 

[Muffyn]

Acne commercials being hawked by celebrities with perfect skin.

 

Hey now, Adam Levine suffered - SUFFERED - SUFFFFF-FERRRRRRED with acne.  His confidence was destroyed by his hideous visage.  He had to hide in shame for fear people would see what a freak of nature he was.  It is amazing that even to this day he is willing to leave the house, let alone be the insufferable over-confident douchebag he is.  Acne destroyed his entire sense of self.  If only proactive was around during his formative years, his ego could overtake the entire world, crushing us all under its weight.  

Anti-aging commercials featuring young women with perfect skin.

I especially enjoy the ones who are botoxed until they can barely move any facial features.  It really gives me a sense of how the product would work for me and my paralytic-free face.  Makes me miss the days of soft focus and vaseline on the screen.  

 

Now if only I could find a mascara that make it look like someone glued dead hamsters to my eyes.  

[CoderLady]

Spiders. Dead spiders. ::shudder::