Commercials That Annoy, Irritate or Outright Enrage

[Aquarius]

It won't be 100% if any are like the guy who needed Salt-N-Pepa to tell him to push a door marked "PUSH" in big letters and won't be reading the signs.

 

Yeah, but think about it, the opposite is PULL.  So within is the Penis Condundrum.

 

Well, I would take the average door. But when it comes to super tongue strength and stamina  versus normal tongue strength and stamina. I am going through the super tongue strength and stamina door.

 

Um, yeah.  Rock on and on and on and on and on, dude.

[bilgistic]

Well, I would take the average door. But when it comes to super tongue strength and stamina versus normal tongue strength and stamina. I am going through the super tongue strength and stamina door.

Can I get your number?

[xaxat]

This conversation reminds me of the warnings that accompany ads for erectile dysfunction drugs.

 

"If you experience an erection lasting more than four hours seek medical help."

 

Dude: Sign me up for that!

[smittykins]

Wasn't it Jeff Foxworthy who said, "If I ever have a four-hour erection, I'm not calling a doctor, I'm calling a hooker!"?

[LoneHaranguer]

I once saw an ED ad spoof that promised to send out one of their "professionals" to assist, referring to the ladies in the background of the ad, dressed as you might expect.

[TeapotDiva]

Just saw a commercial that makes my head explode every time I see it, so much so that I was moved to delurk!  It's a commercial for the Miracle-Ear hearing aid.  A smug middle-aged woman named Susan stands outside her house bragging about how she can hear everything so well now that she has her Miracle-Ear.  Meanwhile, her poor husband is going to every door and window yelling to her, "Susan! Did you see my keys?!"  while she ignores him, saying yet again, "I can hear everything!" and then "What's that, dear?"  Then she smirks and says, "Well . . . I can hear everything I want to!"  That's when I start screaming at the TV, "You bitch!  You're gaslighting your husband! He thinks he has dementia because he can't find his keys and he's yelling and you pretend you can't hear him!!"  I want to smack her down onto her lawn, and let her grandchildren trample on her.  /Thank you, I feel better now.

[iMonrey]

 

The Wal Mart family mobile ad where the father gives the daughter her own phone and she lets out that annoying squeal.

 

The dad hands her her own phone and she squeals, then the announcer says something, and they cut back to the father and the daughter, and she takes a selfie of them with her new phone. Uh . . . I guess they skipped over the hours it takes to set up a new smartphone. 

[Brattinella]

Just warning you now, if anyone ever screams in MY ear like that, they will earn a knuckle sandwich!

[bubbls]

I absolutely hate hate hate the Wayfair commercial with everybody dancing.  Why is that idiot blonde dancing at the end?  If I was her husband I'd turn the hose on her.

 

Me too! Especially that woman dancing at the end. I irrationally despise her. I frantically lunge for the mute button when it's on, which seems to be ALL.THE.TIME. 

[SmithW6079]

I don't get negative endorsements, like the one with Malcolm McDowell for a product I don't remember. He's bitching about being "mad jelly" (I don't know what it's slang for), and I think the tagline had to do with less for Malcolm, but for the rest of us.

[theatremouse]

Uh . . . I guess they skipped over the hours it takes to set up a new smartphone.

Hours? No. Maybe 10 minutes. And to use the camera, just turn it on. Setting up accounts to post it online or anything, sure that'd take more time, but just using the camera could easily be done in the time it takes to turn on the device.

[janie jones]

"It's a weak man who encourages compromise"?  WTF, Cadillac?

[riley702]

I don't get negative endorsements, like the one with Malcolm McDowell for a product I don't remember. He's bitching about being "mad jelly" (I don't know what it's slang for), and I think the tagline had to do with less for Malcolm, but for the rest of us.

Jelly is slang for jealous.

[Cobalt Stargazer]

I don't get negative endorsements, like the one with Malcolm McDowell for a product I don't remember. He's bitching about being "mad jelly" (I don't know what it's slang for), and I think the tagline had to do with less for Malcolm, but for the rest of us.

 

 

Jelly is slang for jealous.

 

riley702 beat me to it, but 'mad jelly' is in the Urban Dictionary, meaning 'very jealous'.

[Neurochick]

Just saw a commercial that makes my head explode every time I see it, so much so that I was moved to delurk!  It's a commercial for the Miracle-Ear hearing aid.  A smug middle-aged woman named Susan stands outside her house bragging about how she can hear everything so well now that she has her Miracle-Ear.  Meanwhile, her poor husband is going to every door and window yelling to her, "Susan! Did you see my keys?!"  while she ignores him, saying yet again, "I can hear everything!" and then "What's that, dear?"  Then she smirks and says, "Well . . . I can hear everything I want to!"  That's when I start screaming at the TV, "You bitch!  You're gaslighting your husband! He thinks he has dementia because he can't find his keys and he's yelling and you pretend you can't hear him!!"  I want to smack her down onto her lawn, and let her grandchildren trample on her.  /Thank you, I feel better now.

 

LOL, I saw it differently, I figured they've been married for like 50 years and the old coot's been losing his keys for fifty years.  Imagine fifty years of someone yelling, "Susan, did you see my keys!"

[iMonrey]

 

Hours? No. Maybe 10 minutes.

 

You must not have an iPhone. 

[Watcher0363]

Hours? No. Maybe 10 minutes. And to use the camera, just turn it on. Setting up accounts to post it online or anything, sure that'd take more time, but just using the camera could easily be done in the time it takes to turn on the device.

Hopefully he was a concerned parent and purchased the sim card and recorded the phone number, set up the parental controls and installed spyware. So he could keep tabs on that obviously future sexting freak.

[kassa]

LOL, I saw it differently, I figured they've been married for like 50 years and the old coot's been losing his keys for fifty years.  Imagine fifty years of someone yelling, "Susan, did you see my keys!"

 

 

Yeah, that ad reminded me about the old Roseanne joke about men and children thinking the uterus is a tracking device.

[SoSueMe]

Hate this, although I do appreciate the snark in "Whatever, Janet."

[xls]

Kind of clever but I was just shocked!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KiHpibGYrew

[Watcher0363]

Kind of clever but I was just shocked!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KiHpibGYrew

I appreciate this commercial. Shocked like you, but I really appreciate the commercial. So would Jordan Belfort's dad

 

Edited April 17, 2015 by Watcher0363

[xls]

I appreciate this commercial. Shocked like you, but I really appreciate the commercial.

I would just be standing behind a hedge.

[6 MeowMeowBeenz]

I didn't think I could dislike Jan from Toyota more until they had her doing readings from the brochures.  She's just so terrible at it.  I'm actually kind of embarrassed for her.

 

Well, then, bunky...you'll appreciate this. I was looking at Toyota inventory online (for work, I actually kind of loathe Toyotas) and lo and behold, the banner at the top of the page has a picture of Jan and the message "All Toyota vehicles are Jan tested and Jan approved"

 

Because, you know, she's like Consumer Reports and NHTSA all rolled into one!

[bilgistic]

Kind of clever but I was just shocked!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KiHpibGYrew

I hate it so, so much. The first one ran a couple years ago with topiary bushes in front of female statues. I guess men don't have to do anything to their hairy man parts. Women's parts sure are gross and unkempt!

[Prevailing Wind]

Well, that's because *somebody* wants their women to look like hairless little girls with big boobs.  It's icky, when you really think about it; smacks of pedophilia.  Go figure.

[Aquarius]

Well, that's because *somebody* wants their women to look like hairless little girls with big boobs.  It's icky, when you really think about it; smacks of pedophilia.  Go figure.

 

You know what has big boobs and no pubic hair?  A blow-up doll, that's what.

[Tunia]

Kind of clever but I was just shocked!

 

 

I'd bet the third babe's name is Tami, Bobbi, or similar, and she dots her "i's" with little hearts too!

[janie jones]

That girl on the end does have pubic hair.  How else would she make it heart-shaped?

[90PercentGravity]

It's her pubic hair. She can do whatever the fuck she wants with it.

[bilgistic]

Yes, but it must be carefully trimmed and shaped because if it's not, she will literally be a pastel-colored boring young lady that is inept and undesirable with her wild bush.

[xls]

Yes, but it must be carefully trimmed and shaped because if it's not, she will literally be a pastel-colored boring young lady that is inept and undesirable with her wild bush.

There's nothing on a woman-from head to toe- that doesn't need to be "fixed". Don't forget that deodorant that makes your pitts soft!

[bilgistic]

Our friends at Dove also make some that slows your armpit hair growth for the time in between the four daily showers you take, in case stubble dare appear.

[Cobalt Stargazer]

That reminds me:

 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4T0lgx3THM

 

Yeah, I don't know what one has to do with the other either.

[bilgistic]

That is a crime, to both his chest and the bathroom. Leave it alone, fellahs! It's okay to be a furry man!

This is where I mention that when I was a kid, I half thought that if you used that Scrubbing Bubbles stuff, ACTUAL CLEANING BUBBLES not unlike the ones in the commercial would come out of the can and clean your bathroom. I'm terribly sad that at some point, reality slapped me hard on the face and there are no actual "scrubbing bubbles".

[slensam]

That is a crime, to both his chest and the bathroom. Leave it alone, fellahs! It's okay to be a furry man!

This is where I mention that when I was a kid, I half thought that if you used that Scrubbing Bubbles stuff, ACTUAL CLEANING BUBBLES not unlike the ones in the commercial would come out of the can and clean your bathroom. I'm terribly sad that at some point, reality slapped me hard on the face and there are no actual "scrubbing bubbles".

I had an actual nightmare about the "scrubbing bubbles" and I have no idea why. They were out to get me for real.

[theatremouse]

OK so, let me say upfront I know I may be a tad bit irrational with this one. That said: the RoundUp commercials. Drive. Me. Nuts.

Why?

Their stupid little animation that shows someone spraying the weeds in between concrete (presumably driveway and/or sidewalk) and it just shrinks and disappears.

That's not how that works. You spray. The weeds die. And then you've got dead weeds, which you still need to pull. Now, I am not an idiot. I know they probably didn't mean to imply the weeds would shrivel up and magically disappear into thin air. But they are implying use of their product makes weed removal substantially easier than it is. The benefit of killing them is it makes it less likely they'll grow back immediately, but you still have to yank the damn things. That little animation really pisses me off. Because if such a thing did exist, I'd buy it in a heartbeat.

Much like if Scrubbing Bubbles really let you spritz it and then automatically cleaned everything itself with zero effort on my part...

Edited April 18, 2015 by theatremouse

[bilgistic]

Much like if Scrubbing Bubbles really let you spritz it and then automatically cleaned everything itself with zero effort on my part...

Yes. The commercial makes it look like all you do is just spray Scrubbing Bubbles, they run across your sink, and then you're golden. So not true! Depending upon the age of the gunk, several rounds of spraying will be needed and elbow grease will also need to be employed. Also, just use something natural, because the fumes from Scrubbing Bubbles in a small space will make you pass out.

[Haleth]

This is where I mention that when I was a kid, I half thought that if you used that Scrubbing Bubbles stuff, ACTUAL CLEANING BUBBLES not unlike the ones in the commercial would come out of the can and clean your bathroom. I'm terribly sad that at some point, reality slapped me hard on the face and there are no actual "scrubbing bubbles".

20some years ago there was a promotion with a mail in coupon for a free scrubbing bubbles toy.  It was my kids' favorite bath toy.  They would scrub the sides of the tub with it.  Too bad this fun didn't translate to teenhood.

[Rick Kitchen]

I have one of those free scrubbing bubbles toys.  My cat plays with it.

[riley702]

Expensive cat toy! (I want one now)

 

This squeaky plastic one is more reasonable.

Edited April 20, 2015 by riley702

[bilgistic]

I have one of those free scrubbing bubbles toys.  My cat plays with it.

One of the times I gave blood at a drive, I got a little plush "blood drop" with arms and legs. My ex-boyfriend (over five years ago) called it a radish because that's what it looked like. I brought it home and left it on a table or something and my male cat immediately adopted it as his very own. He's almost 14 now and still plays with that silly thing. Cats are weird.

[mmecorday]

Carrie Underwood and her pronunciation of American as Amerikin in those Almay commercials need to go away.

[MaryM47]

Some minor nitpicks:

The Northern tissue paper ad where the woman collects the toilet paper that the kids have draped over her trees.  First of all, not to be all Howard Hughes here, but I don't think I would want to use TP that had been sitting around in the front yard. And what 12 year old boy knows the exact make and model of TP that his mother buys? 

And this is the librarian in me, but on the Mercedes ad with the hare and tortoise racing - at the end, the say it's no fairy tale, but The Hare and The Tortoise is technically a fable. 

[AntiBeeSpray]

Kind of clever but I was just shocked!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KiHpibGYrew

 

No just no!

 

I don't find this clever at all, just stupid! Who's the idiot who came up with this 'idea'? If you like what you see, my eye O_O.

 

Might as well do a commercial with guys standing around holding hot dogs in their hands.

 

I find this kind of advertising to be rather patronizing. You DON'T go around telling people what they should or shouldn't do with their bodies. It's none of their business -_-.

 

I know it's a bikini razor trimmer, but geez. Enough with the visuals.

[Brattinella]

LOL!  Hot dogs in their hands!

[legaleagle53]

I guess men don't have to do anything to their hairy man parts.

 

That's what you think.  Ever heard of "manscaping'?  It's been a thing among gay men for years (although why, I have no idea).

[90PercentGravity]

That's what you think.  Ever heard of "manscaping'?  It's been a thing among gay men for years (although why, I have no idea).

Because pubic hair in the back of your throat is nasty? I have no idea why it isn't a thing among straight men. I guess that is why I don't mind the pressure on women to groom themselves, because I think men should do it to. That hair serves no purpose other than being gross and ending up in places you don't want it.

[legaleagle53]

Because pubic hair in the back of your throat is nasty? I have no idea why it isn't a thing among straight men. I guess that is why I don't mind the pressure on women to groom themselves, because I think men should do it to. That hair serves no purpose other than being gross and ending up in places you don't want it.

 

Each to his own.  At the risk of giving too much personal information, I actually like being able to tell who has and hasn't finished puberty.  It's what separates the men from the boys, so to speak.

[riley702]

Might as well do a commercial with guys standing around holding hot dogs in their hands.

Don't give them ideas!

[Sandman87]

Might as well do a commercial with guys standing around holding hot dogs in their hands.

That reminds me of one of those sleazy late night commercials for some variant of boner pills that I saw a number of years ago. A guy behind the counter at a deli was talking about how the product improves "satisfaction" and strengthens "that certain special part of the male anatomy", and every time he mentioned one of the benefits he'd slap the salami that was laying on the counter in front of him.